#d20 fanfic

[highfiveheroes]

so if anyone remembers this rat grinders story post from yesterday. it’s going well so far

[smolandweirdwriter]

ally and siobhan planted the seed in my mind and now i MUST see adaine and kristen play each other in pool. just for the bit, because this is how i imagine it going:

kristen: where did you learn to play pool?

adaine: *flashbacks to her father having those 'after-dinner-smoking-and-games-with-colleagues' moments in her childhood* we had a table in my house

kristen: *lining up her next shot* oh. that's nice.

adaine: yeah. what about you?

kristen: OH during my huge 'rejecting helioic traditions' phase, i decided i wanted to learn, um you know, drinking games and stuff are sinful to helioic worshippers, which is weird because Helio's literally a fucking frat boy. it's a VERY messed up religion, the more i think about it.

adaine: yeah, I'm sorry. so tracker taught you?

kristen: *flashbacks to tracker doing one of those 'here-let-me-teach-you' moments where they're pressed up together and end up making out* yeah.

[my-clerical-gnomance]

choosing rage was as easy for kipperlilly as taking in breath. it felt inevitable.

when she was six, her parents were called into school because she punched a kid on the playground. she tried to tell them that he was being impossible-- that it wasn't fair-- but they wouldn't listen. she could feel her heart beating in her ears.

when she was eleven, her mother found her diary, and she was scolded for writing critical things about her classmates. her face was hot. she wanted to rip it from her hands and tear the pages out.

when she was fourteen, she told the school guidance counselor about her issues, and she watched as he tried to remain neutral. still, she could see the look on his face for what it was. he hated her; he was disgusted by her. he feared her. she hated the twisting feeling in her gut.

she was hesitant to accept this teacher at his word, but he was a barbarian. if anyone understood rage, it was him. he told her she had a fight in her. that she had potential. no one had ever seen her anger as a strength, not even the other members of her party.

they always tried to keep her calm, especially lucy. but kipperlilly didn't want to be calm anymore.

she let this nameless god wash over her like a hot shower, and she waited to feel relief. to finally accept what had been hunting her all her life should have been freeing. and it would have been. if her friends could only have seen things her way.

instead, they had to be forced, and it felt all the more like betrayal. was this... thing inside her really so insidious that not even a god's devotion could sway them? even if this god's domain would soon be taken over by their own teacher, who chose them? who saw something special in them?

and what's worse...

"where's lucy?" ruben said, his voice strangely low.

everyone but porter looked around.

he stood in front of her body, still laying lifeless on the ground.

that thing in her chest curled around her heart as it began to pound. she clenched her still-bloody fist.

"she's not coming back," porter said. "she made her choice."

"why didn't you force her?" the words spilled from her mouth, tears threatening to mirror them. his response was muffled by a static that grew in her mind.

how dare she not come back? doesn't she care at all about them? about her?

it's not fair. it's not fair. it's not fucking fair!

jace reached a hand out, but she swatted it away.

she just stood there, watching tears drip down onto her shoes. it's all she could do, as her rage overwhelmed her system.

after a long pause, ivy spoke up, her voice thick.

"what are we supposed to do without a cleric?"

they all knew porter wouldn't care about the underlying emotion, only the tactical disadvantage. he never liked lucy, anyway.

"without a healer, we're as good as dead."

"there's someone we could bring in," said jace. "he's from highcourt-- a cleric of helio."

of course, kipperlilly thought, those fucking helio freaks are everywhere. in her mind, she pictured someone in tie-dye and a red pony tail.

everyone looked to porter.

he signed, clearly annoyed.

"sure, bring him in. he'll need a party anyway."

the trek back to the school was made in silence, and kipperlilly stewed.

the rat grinders all silently decided they were going to spend the night at ruben's-- no one wanted to pretend to be normal for their families. they just wanted to sleep. or hit something. or scream. but they settled on sleep.

his uncle henry tried to talk, but oisin snapped at him, and he didn't press beyond that.

kipperlilly lay in the dark on the floor of ruben's bedroom, still wearing her bloody, torn up clothes, staring at the ceiling.

of all the thoughts that flew through her mind, one reigned above all-- painted crimson in the light of a raging sun.

you chose wrong.

[lucyfrostblade]

spoilers for fantasy high junior year

lucy frostblade cradled the dead body of her best friend in her arms. a few weeks later kipperlilly copperkettle would do the same. they love each other. it's not enough.

title: burning, burning, burning

word count: 1.3k

relationships: lucy frostblade/kipperlilly copperkettle, lucy frostblade & the rat grinders, lucy frostblade & the bad kids

read here // reblogs appreciated !!

[ghoulboyspooks]

just realized i never posted my gorgug art here srry guys, here’s what i imagine he looks like when he rages!

IM SO EXCITED FOR JUNIOR YEAR!! barely finishing up sophomore year just in time for the 10th, HOOT GROWL!

[demontouched]

she ate an eyeball. it was oddly crunchy for something so round and squishy. it tasted like rot, but that was to be expected of many months old vulture eye she had been storing in her pocket.

the world seemed to pulse around her. buddy dawn stood in awe of her party's power, and behind him, kipperlily copperkettle.

everything froze. the roar of monsters faded into nothing as her heart leapt from her chest. the hafling held a loaded crossbow, aimed at gavin pundle. she would ruin their chances after all this work! she wanted to leap forward, to yell to her friends, anything.

and then, as if knowing kristen would stop her, kipperlily pulled a knife from her pocket. in one swift, unstoppable motion, she stepped forward, grabbed buddy dawn by the hair, and slit his throat.

and again, before she could do anything, a scaly blue hand reached through planes to take the halfling girl to safety.

she was used to combat, of course. hell, she had died on her very first day of school. but this was not combat. this was cold, calculated, filled with malice.

buddy dawn did not deserve to die, and he did not die noble. he died clueless, doing something out of the kindness of his heart, watching her friends in awe. he may have died happy, but kristen would never know for sure.

before she can really think she is falling to her knees. buddy lets out wet choking noises. he is not dead yet, but he will be very soon. there is no healing word or spare the dying that will fix this. she reaches gently into her pocket, but there are no crystals.

kipperlily took them.

"shit!" she has blood on her hands.

"our revivifier is dead!" fabian, from the field, yells to gavin. she is frantically clawing through buddy's messenger bag. she fights the memories of her own leather satchel, holding the holy book of helio.

"oh... that's... unusual." gavin pundle sends concerned looks towards her and the very dead body of someone similar to who she used to be. before the doubt, before her friends, before the pain.

doubt. she gently reaches into her pocket, pulling out crystals as red as the blood on her hands. she hasn't solved this mystery yet, but she has some of the pieces. rage, a dead god, and a kidnapped goddess.

she prays. cassandra. i know i havent been the best cleric. i know i failed to protect you. but i'm trying, and right now i could really use your help. this kid, buddy, he's just like i used to be. and i know, i know he's good. he doesnt deserve this, not like this. what she did, it's not right. she killed lucy, too. please, cassandra.

she feels her goddess, reaching desperately to heed her call, but fall just short. it was a brush of fingertips, a whisper on the wind, the faint trace of moonlight in a dense forest.

buddy dawn is dead.

[allthecastlesonclouds]

Liv laughs outright, selecting the prompt and copying it. “Sure, Ms. D,” she mutters, and Wendell laughs too as he slices through a piece of foam. “Well, that wouldn’t normally be my go-to prompt, I think, but– yeah, that works.” Wendell nods into his project. “Yeah, I completely forgot about that until just now, but– yeah. Funny coincidence, huh?” “Yeah, I guess I know what I’m writing, then.” She opens up a new document and pastes the prompt in, then command+enters onto the next page to start writing. “Maybe I’ll actually get it done by tomorrow.” She can pull the best student card for once. Ms. D doesn’t need to know about her weekend. - - - Liv Skyler, a final English assignment, and change

trans liv fic trans liv fic trans liv fic

i learned css for this one. so. :] written for @d20ficoff!!

[vortahoney]

Guess what, guys

She gripped the fabric on the back of Chip’s shirt, nearly ripping it to do so, and opened her mouth for a scream she’d been waiting to give since before she’d even died.

Chip didn’t jump, didn’t pull away, wasn’t surprised. Instead he tightened his arms around her, like if he didn’t someone would take her away from him, and for just a moment she felt like she was safe, and loved unconditionally.

Or: Lucy lies to her parents. A lot.

[brennan-lee-mother]

Non se monstret timor (haec infirmitas mea) by Coco_Cavio

Fabian made his way downstairs, turning on every light as he went. Every dark corner reminded him of the black hole in the woman’s chest. It wasn’t real, he reminded himself, but that only served to make him think of what she had really looked like in that forest, ribs crushed and left to rot. He entered his kitchen, regretting his lack of foresight as he walked on the icy tiles with bare, sockless feet. The sensation of stone on skin summoned to the front of his mind flashes of Aguefort halls, elongated by his dreaming imagination. Only after he’d finished ordering breakfast did he think to check the clock. The smaller hand pointed resolutely at the four. He would have to tip the poor delivery person really well to make up for that. He hadn’t had a nightmare that severe in quite some time. - Or, after the Bad Kids find Yolanda Badgood's body, Fabian is plagued by terrible nightmares. He does not deal well.

My first multi-chaptered fic. It's a very angsty character study of our favourite fearless boy Fabian Seacaster.

Beta'd by the lovely @trainwreckisawreck

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

Hey does anyone have any good d20 crossover fic recs? Like crossovers between the different campaigns, it's rlly hard to search since the fandom tag is d20 as a whole

[starstruckodysseys]

reese’s dimension 20 masterpost

bc i want to <3

you legally can’t be surprised at the amount of nsbu fics on here. have you looked at my blog before

FANTASY HIGH:

when i step onto that ferry (and the man demands his pay) — oneshot, 1.5k words. kristen & gorgug. remember when we died? i think it’s happening again — or, a study of aguefort’s two most killable students.

you never called it love (how can you be heartbroken?) — oneshot, 1k words. kipperlilly ruminates on life, death, and lucy frostblade.

NEVERAFTER:

wasn’t it beautiful (before the monsters caught up to you?) — oneshot, 723 words. gerard & ylfa. being a child, being a monster. something about parallels.

NEVER STOP BLOWING UP:

let’s do it baby i know the law

birds of a feather (we should stick together) — oneshot, 2k words. wendell/liv, liv & paula & usha. liv gets a crush, spirals, and talks to her work besties. girl’s night but in the bodies of action movie men.

you got me overnight — oneshot, 3k words. wendell/liv. your classic fake out make out… until it isn’t, because there’s no one to fake it for.

if we’re too plain to be unique — oneshot, 2.4k words. wendell & liv, implied wendell/liv. liv’s killed people with her own hands. it’s an issue for nobody but her. ft: late night talks, characters in cars, and vague transgenderism. which is kind of just every fic i write.

running circles around everyone you know — oneshot, 1.1k words. a sort-of character study, focusing on dang running out of the eastminster kennel club bloodbath in ep6.

if it’s forever (it’s even better) — oneshot, 2.2k words. wendell/liv. wendell drives a boat until he doesn’t and ruminates on the events of ep8, aka the famous craps game and blood rave from lord’s cocktail lounge.

if i could burn this town (i wouldn’t hesitate) — oneshot, 2k words. liv & russell. an introspection into liv’s moment in the jungle and sort of an examination into the parallels between her and russell.

bustin’ makes me feel good! — oneshot, 20.8k words. awesome action heroes friendship, background wendell/liv. ghostbusters au that sort of spiraled into a general paranormal au. dave’s video world isn’t really going out of business… because it’s a coverup for a ghost hunting business. but as darkness creeps into lake elsinore, and things slowly turn more sinister, it’s up to the six employees of the not-actually-video-store to figure out what’s really going on around town. and hey, what’s been up with their boss, lately?

star-bright crystals — two chapters, ongoing, 8.7k words. awesome action heroes friendship, background wendell/liv. not finale compliant, but goes along with the rest of the season. in an attempt to help paula with her love life, the rest of the former awesome action heroes set her up on a blind date! they’re not good at it. minor crimes and awkward romance ensues, just… maybe not in the way you’d think.

[highfiveheroes]

NOW I BREATHE FLAMES EACH TIME I TALK

A normal party, Kipperlilly will think later, wouldn’t go out of their way to torment each other like this. A normal party would be kinder, apologize, laugh a little, and move on. But her party is fucked up in more ways than one. Ruben’s chest and eyes start to glow red, and before they all know it Oisin is down on the floor getting his face fucking pummeled. Kipperlilly is still laughing so hard at the song that she can’t do anything about it, but Ivy makes a halfhearted attempt to throw something at Ruben to get him to stop. She does this by throwing a single piece of paper that floats a foot towards him and then lands, which is so pathetic that Kipperlilly officially falls out of her chair and lands on her knees, pounding the floor. It makes Ivy laugh even harder. If it weren’t so twisted, this would be the best bonding experience they’ve ever had. Something to bring up at a wedding, to reference in birthday cards for years—but Kipperlilly doesn’t give a fuck about their birthdays, doesn’t even know how old most of these fuckers are anymore, and if a single one of these fucks lives long enough to get married she’ll probably kill them out of jealousy and spite.

-

or: The Rat Grinders vs Junior Year.

(yall this fic. this fic. anyway im very proud of myself)

[smolandweirdwriter]

if I'm not very much mistaken in season 1 of fantasy high, don't all the bad kids and their parents have a holiday party? does anyone know which episode that's in?

[everywishway]

New Chapter of my Kalina Redemption Fic!

After a... Hard realization last chapter... Kalina runs off to lick her wounds where she, eventually, comes across a kind-hearted halforc. Sometimes to process your trauma you need to have a good cry in your mother's church around her statue while a autistic boy brings you Mexican food...

also thank you to @mistygreenwoods for beta-reading this chapter. You are the best, tysm!!!

[roll-for-gaslight]

for whosoever believeth in him (shall not perish but have everlasting life)

An exploration of the two oldest Applebees siblings' relationship with religion. tw// religious trauma, child abuse, let me know if I should add anything else.

AO3 Version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55677883/chapters/141332254

Part One: The Prophet

Part Two: The Proselyte

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

When Kristen was having a hard day, this is the verse that came to mind most often. It was the one she fell back on when it got hard to stay awake at church, or Bucky did something to annoy her and her first instinct was to annoy him back. She was Helio’s Chosen, she knew better than to act like that. It’s not Bucky’s fault he hadn’t learned yet, he wasn’t Chosen like her, he would come to it in his own time. Instead, she would correct him gently and mend anything he broke with a Mending cantrip, one of the earliest signs of her Blessing. It’s the one she’s repeating under her breath now, as she dies in a highschool cafeteria, surrounded by the corn that should have, by all accounts, been blessed with Helio’s light and protected or healed her rather than harmed her. It’s her first set of dying words, though no one else would ever know it. 

She sneaks her principal into heaven only to be sent back to the mortal plane herself. Worse than that, Helio refuses to answer the one question that’s been sitting on her mind for years: why do you let bad things happen to good people? Not only does he not have an answer, he throws her out of the afterlife when s he asks. There is a seed of doubt firmly planted in her heart by that interaction, though she supposes this isn’t the first time she felt a flutter of something like it. 

"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4:13

She supposes this could have gone better. She’s never been left home alone to babysit before, but her parents say that since he just turned nine she’s finally old enough. She’s making macaroni and cheese, with all three boys running around the dining room table. Bucky and Bricker are chasing Cork around the table because he has something she can’t quite make out in his hands, all screaming over each other. She’s just glad that when she told them it wasn’t safe to play in the kitchen they actually listened to her. She felt herself glow with pride at the thought, knowing her mom and dad would be proud of her for taking care of everyone tonight if all went well. 

Then, a lot of things happen at once. There’s a crash, a scream, a thudding sound, and then all her brothers are crying. Bricker runs into the kitchen and barely stops short of crashing into her. 

“KRISTENKristencomequickit’sCorkhe’shurt and—” he half-shouts, but she stops listening. 

“Stay here, turn off the stove, and bring me the emergency phone!” she says immediately, shouting her instructions as she runs into the other room. When she arrives she sees Bucky first, blood all over his hands and face. It takes her a moment to remember what Bricker said and realize it isn’t his own blood, but Cork’s. She casts her eyes downward to see her youngest brother lying there, limp and colorless as blood pooled around him. There’s an action figure, one of Bucky’s, scattered into several pieces about a foot away from his hand. She approaches quickly, realizing that the blood is coming from his head, and grabs one of the napkins off of the table as she pushes Bucky out of the way.

“What happened?” she demands. Bucky looks up at her through his tears, and she realizes abruptly that she doesn’t know how to fix this. 

“We were just trying to get my Adventure Man toy back! I tried to grab him and he lost his balance and his head hit the table and then he just started bleeding so fast I didn’t know what to do,” he says, and she does her best to offer him a comforting smile. 

“Everything is going to be okay,” she assures him, silently begging Helio for forgiveness for bearing false witness, knowing the moment the lie passes her lips that she’ll have to repent in church for it on Sunday. He seems to relax at her words. “Go and get the black bottle with the white cap from under the bathroom sink.” she says, and he runs off. She’s left alone, for just a moment, with a slowly-dying Cork, and is faced with the helpless thought that she can’t heal him. She should have been watching him. 

She begins to whisper prayers, each and every one she knows, under her breath. 

Bucky and Bricker enter the room at the same time, both holding the things she instructed them to grab. She takes the hydrogen peroxide and tells Bucky to take the phone and call their parents, tell them they need to come home, but she’s not sure how to proceed after that. She feels tears prickle in her eyes as Cork’s breathing becomes shallower and shallower, and does her best to clean the wound and wrap it up despite the fact that the blood-soaked towel isn’t doing much anymore. 

Just when the tears begin to fall, the moment that all hope seems lost, it happens. Her hands glow with a brilliant, burning golden light and the air fills with the scent of popcorn. Cork’s eyes fly open as the color returns to his face, and suddenly she can breathe again. She pulls her littlest brother into a tight hug, and Bucky and Bricker join them. She can faintly hear the sound of her parents as they come through the door, moments too late to be helpful but she’s grateful they’re there nonetheless. The whole world feels far away except for her brothers, right here with her. 

“What happened here?” her mom asks, “Kristen, did you just heal your brother? Was he hurt, did you heal him?” 

Kristen looks up from the hug and is only able to nod before her dad starts to separate the four of them. Bucky and Bricker move back when they’re told to, sent off to get cleaned up, but it takes her a few extra seconds before she can let herself let go. Her mom wraps her arms around her to guide her into the living room, and through the shock Kristen can faintly hear her calling Pastor Amelia to share the good news. 

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Sol’s will for you in Lord Helio.”

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Kristen’s eyes are starting to get heavy. She’s been staring upward for almost a full twenty-four hours at that point, feeling the searing heat of Sol’s light burn her face as she murmurs her prayers along with the pastor onstage. Pastor Amelia’s shift ended some time ago, so it was a man’s low southern drawl leading them now, but she can’t be sure how long it’s been. She’s ten, so it’s not her first Harvest Festival, so Helio is making her last longer than he used to before he intervenes to help her through her prayers. Her skin feels raw and blistering, and her eyes strain against the unrelenting light. She’s doing her best to make him proud.  

She knows the girl beside her, who seemed so devoted when they met at the beginning, was carried out after only three hours or so. The boy in front of her passed out from the heat not long after. She had noticed that he drank all of his daily water in the first hour, but could do nothing to warn him. Bucky is on her other side, here for his first year in the Prayer and doing well. Next year they’ll be in different age groups, but she’s glad to have him here now. She’s pretty sure he’ll have to kneel soon because of how he’s shaking and sweating. Kneeling is allowed as long as they know you’re still awake. There’s a part of her that wants to kneel first so he’s not nervous, but she also knows it’s important that she remains standing as long as possible to fully connect with Helio. 

She knows that probably within the hour, they’ll get an optional ten-minute break to refill their water. If Bucky can last until then, she’s pretty sure he’ll be able to make it through the next day. 

He kneels, his head falling onto the ground immediately. She knows it’s technically against the rules, but she kicks him in the arm and casts one of her smallest healing spells for him. She can barely see in her peripheral vision as he glows momentarily and looks up at her. He’s still faintly murmuring prayers, so he’s not actually out yet. Kristen feels the toll the spell takes and her knees buckle, so she slowly kneels to avoid taking out those around her if she falls. She distantly notices several other kids around her kneel quickly after, as if they were all awaiting her cue as Chosen. She thinks she should maybe feel guilty for that, but she can’t quite bring care about them right now, only Bucky. He’s still sweating, but as she kneels he seems to remember his placement and raises his face to the sun yet again. 

She waits anxiously for someone to say something or for Helio’s reprimand to come for breaking the rules. He sees all, so she knows it’s hopeless to think he won’t notice. 

Despite that, nothing comes. When the ten-minute break arrives, Bucky turns as if to speak with her and she just hands him her water jug. “Can you fill this for me, Buck? I’m going to pray through the break. As much ice as you can crush in there, please.” she requests, and he nods. 

“Yeah, Kristy, I can do that. I’ll let mom and dad know,” he responds, and she suddenly and desperately wishes for last year, when she was the only one of her siblings doing the full prayer and Bucky’s only job was to make sure she had water on breaks, free to spend most of the rest of the festival playing and enjoying the summer. 

The pastor is taking a break, so anyone staying is welcome to do their own prayers. If there’s anyone else in the field, they must be really far away from her. She feels the breeze for the first time in a while, but the sun also beats down harder than before. She sends Helio her apologies, doing her best to appease him, but never feels the sweet rejuvenation of his miracles. Not until the very last second of what should have been her break, right as people return to the field. She feels all eyes on her as she realizes she must have been the only one that stayed judging by the size of the crowd. Right as she registers that information, she feels a warmth in her chest. It expands outward and the day becomes ten times brighter. She’s glowing and feels herself becoming weightless. She knows it’s Helio’s blessing at last, knew all along that forgoing her break was the perfect way to repent. It lasts a full minute before she slowly descends, and when she does she feels it.

She feels like she’s fresh off of a full night’s sleep, completely refreshed. Her braid has redone itself, she feels clean, and her skin is no longer blistering. People suddenly crowd around her on all sides, each kneeling beside her and taking a moment to look up to the sky before returning to their new formation, remaking the neat lines that had been lost before as others failed. Bucky is the last to approach and takes his place beside her, reaching out to grab her hand for one fleeting moment before pulling away again. He puts her water jug and his own between them. For a while, everything is perfect. 

Seven hours later, the night brings a unique challenge, and the one that finally removes Bucky from the Prayer. It’s much cooler, a reprieve from the intense heat of the sun, but it’s also dark. At this point in the festival, that makes it too easy to fall asleep. He has the sense to kneel before he does it, but not to totally avoid colliding with Kristen. He falls across her feet, and suddenly she feels tears in her eyes. Maybe she should give up too, help him out of the crowd. She knows it would be frowned upon, and can picture the look of disappointment on her mom and dad’s faces when they see her step away. She can’t bring herself to move. Someone comes to collect Bucky, but she doesn’t see who. 

She lasts until noon the next day. It’s been a full forty-eight hours, and she’s the last one standing for their entire age group. The field is empty around her. The clock strikes loudly for twelve o’clock, the time of day where Helio’s magic is the strongest, and suddenly her legs buckle and go out from beneath her. She hits the ground hard, feels the dirt and rocks scrape against her knee. The moment her head hits the ground, she loses consciousness. 

Kristen wakes up alone on a cot. There’s a window open, letting fresh air and a little early morning light into the room. She checks her crystal to see it’s six in the morning, eyes aching at the light from the screen until she turns the brightness setting all the way down. She hovers over her mom’s contact for a few moments, considering texting to see where to find them, but can’t bring herself to actually do so. She closes her eyes instead to do a silent prayer for her daily spells, and it feels like a weight off her chest when she feels the holy magic fill her with warmth. Helio is proud of her. She did good. 

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord Helio is giving you.”

-Exodus 20:12

“Kristen, I don’t know how many times we’re going to have to go over this. If they don’t worship Helio, they’re sinners. It doesn’t matter what they do or say because anything done outside of Sol’s light is sin.” her dad is saying, frustration coloring his tone. 

Her mom nods in agreement. “If they aren’t faithful, they aren’t your friend. If you can’t depend on them to make the right choice on the most important decision, how can you trust them with anything else?”

Kristen finds herself at a loss for words. It had been Bricker who started all of this, playing with that little Goblin girl on the playground before Mac and Donna had gotten the chance to pull him away. It had been an innocent question. “But she was so nice, what could be wrong with her?” he had said. He’d also immediately accepted his parents’ simple answer: she was a non-believer. Kristen had been fighting this battle for half an hour at this point, determined to show her parents the truth of Helio’s light. This is part of being Chosen, she thinks. It’s her job to right these wrongs, even if it means standing up to her parents. 

“Mom, Dad, Sol’s light touches all creatures the same. If they act with good intentions and follow the rules of scripture, they have potential to find faith. Isn’t it our job to lead them there, and let them take their own path there? It doesn’t make them bad people, just lost ones.” she says, not for the first time. 

“That’s enough, Kristen,” Mac says finally, using his this-conversation-is-over voice. She winces slightly, knowing that she’s in trouble. “You need to drop this, or we’ll have to go have a talk with Pastor Amelia about you questioning Helio’s word. Is that what you want?”

Panic fills her at the thought of Pastor Amelia’s disappointed face and tone. There’s no way she would still be Helio’s Chosen if she really questioned Him and she knows it. Pastor Amelia having to step in would definitely call it to His attention. She shakes her head quickly. 

“No! No, of course not. I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to question Him. I just didn’t understand, I guess,” she assures them quietly, and they seem satisfied. When she glances at her brothers, Bricker looks disappointed. She looks away.

“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

-Proverbs 6:16–19

Kristen has never been more excited than her first day of highschool. She’s excited to make friends, and to fulfill Helio’s word by showing them the light. It’s the whole reason that she wanted to go to Aguefort, and it’s why she asks Daybreak to send her to detention with the bad kids. Who better to help the most lost souls in the school than the Chosen of Helio? Who better to bring them under his holy gaze?

She feels a little bad for lying, but knows that she can repent for it tonight and Helio will understand. She feels worse about asking Daybreak to lie for her, and knows she needs to apologize to him too. She’s Chosen, she should know how to act better than that.

It doesn’t matter. They don’t seem happy about her proselytizing, but they seem to like her anyway. She’s looking forward to her new group, to finally getting the chance to be the yeast that makes the whole loaf rise. 

She dies instead. 

“Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin."

-Leviticus 18:22

Tracker is maybe the coolest person Kristen has ever met. She’s openly queer, a werewolf, and she worships Galicaea. She grew up in the church and chose to leave it, which is scary, but it’s also really… Exciting? Thrilling? Enticing? Attractive? Kristen isn’t sure she has exactly the right word for it yet, but she knows it feels almost good. 

She’s not so sure about Helio anymore. How could He not have the answers she was looking for? Not even for her, His Chosen? What did it even mean to be Chosen by Him? Did it mean anything, if she didn’t choose Him too? She’s not so sure anymore. 

She hates that she hasn’t seen her brothers all week. It’s not like it is with her parents with them, they haven’t done anything wrong. She hates that her long school days have led to her avoiding her whole family. She’s had more sleepovers since school started than she has in the whole rest of her life. 

She’s pretty sure she has a crush on Tracker. What would that mean for her? Would that make her gay? Or maybe bi? She hopes, for a moment, for that to be the truth but now that she’s thinking about it the thought of spending the rest of her life with a husband in a traditional marriage sounds… suffocating. Spending the rest of her life with someone fun and interesting like Tracker sounds so much better. 

Maybe Helio isn’t everything. Maybe her parents are right about him, and if they are then she’s not interested. Maybe Helio holds hatred in his heart. 

Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe she’ll find something new. 

Maybe she’ll take a leap of faith. 

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

-Hebrews 11:1

She can still cast magic. She’s not sure who or how, but her leap of faith didn’t strip her of her divine magic. She can still heal her friends, and her Spirit Guardians aren’t corn-themed. The magic flowing through her is strange and new, no longer searing heat but instead a slight chill that shoots its way through her from her very core. 

Every night’s a sleepover as long as she’s not living at home. Her parents haven’t even tried to get her home yet, not even a text since the other night. She’s just glad Fig and Gilear have been so nice to let Kristen move in with them. There’s no way she would have been able to leave that house if they hadn’t offered; she couldn’t imagine actually asking her friends to take care of her like this. Fig was just nice enough to offer first, so she didn’t feel as bad just accepting. 

Tracker is going to be her girlfriend, she’s pretty sure. She still has to actually ask, but she’s pretty sure the feelings she’s having are reciprocal. She talks to Ragh, quietly and briefly, about being gay. He doesn’t make fun of her, which she suspected he wouldn’t. He just nods respectfully along as she speaks and gives her a little head pat before they depart, the most affection she’s seen him show anyone but Dayne. 

Kristen’s decided that she’s happy with who she is. If someone has a problem with it, she doesn’t need to care. That’s how Tracker talks about it all: her queerness, her religion, her lycanthropy. There’s no reason Kristen should have to change who she is for some bullshit rules that don’t actually mean anything. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

-Ephesians 2:8-9

Kristen is dying again. In the gym, at prom, she is being killed by the vice principal, but it doesn’t even matter. As Helio’s Chosen she is directed straight towards the main office of Heaven when she arrives, only to find Arthur Aguefort waiting for him. Not only does he agree to come back and help her return, but he also gives her his watch to use. 

Oh, and she creates a new god. 

No big deal. 

Okay, big deal. She hates her new god, but it’ll be okay. Maybe YES! just has to grow on her. 

“For Sol so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”

-John 3:16

The chapel makes Tracker freak out, but Kristen can’t get the image of the goddess out of her head. She was beautiful, and there was something strikingly familiar about her. She tries several times to draw her, but to no avail. She doesn’t voice her desires to her friends or even to Tracker on any kind of deeper level, but feels herself drawn to the idea of a forgotten goddess who specializes in doubt. Doubt has already gotten her this far, right? 

As they venture into Sylvaire and split up to gather the ingredients, only to lose all their allies except Gilear. Oh, yeah, and Kristen almost dies again, but at least this time she saves Riz. At least this time she has the chance to do some good. She thinks that it’s worth it as long as her friends are safe. 

When they make it to the chapel in the forest, their second time coming in, she’s grateful to have Fabian watching her back. The whole place seems creepy, but also strangely alluring. She wants to understand who this goddess was before she was abandoned. Why would her followers do this to her? She steps closer. 

‘Why do you searching for me?’ a low, crackling voice speaks directly into her mind. 

“I heard that you were the goddess of doubt, and that really resonates with me right now,” Kristen begins to say, but those aren’t the right words. She pauses for a moment to think. “I have a lot of praise for you.” she says finally. 

There’s a sharp pain in her chest, accompanied by a horrible wet sound. She chokes, suddenly unable to catch her breath, and grasps for whatever hurt her only to make contact with something that feels like solid bone. She looks down and— Is that a spike? 

Fabian says something and then he’s gone and it’s dark. She holds onto consciousness for as long as she can, tilting her head up to the sky and wishing, just for a moment, for the strength of a god supporting her the way Helio used to. It doesn’t come. Neither do her friends.

‘I have a lot of praise for you.’

What was she thinking?

Kristen Applebees, dying yet again with a prayer on her lips.

“‘Who’ is easy. It is us, everything, and you. ‘Why’ is harder.’Why’ is something that only you can decide. The universe doesn't have a ‘why’.”

For a while, she’s floating in nothing. She doesn’t have a sense of time or space, it’s neither light nor dark, there is no sensation. Everything is just empty for a while, and then it’s not anymore. Her eyes are already open when she comes to, face turned upward towards the ceiling. 

She looks down to find a gaping hole in her chest, her tie-dye shirt soaked through with blood. She puts her hand through it to make sure it’s not an illusion, but realizes belatedly that that doesn’t mean anything in the Nightmare forest. Looking at her hand, she realizes that her pinky finger is missing too. 

She slowly, carefully, wanders out of the room and into the forest. Her friends are far away, and she’s scared, and she’s pretty sure she’s still dead. That suspicion is confirmed when she’s brought face-to-face with the person she wants to see the least right now: Helio. He’s accompanied by Sol and a woman Kristen doesn’t immediately recognize. 

The woman introduces herself as Galicaea, Tracker’s goddess, and Kristen can’t help but feel comforted by the thought of her girlfriend for a few moments before it all goes wrong. Are these her only options? Sol’s bullshit or Galicaea’s? 

No. 

She’ll make her own options. She punches Helio in the face. 

Her philosophers aid her as they always have, helping her find the path away and giving her magic while she can’t rely on a deity. She knows what she needs to do. 

She’s going to bring back the mystery goddess, no matter what it takes. 

“The first rule of existence is as above, so below. People are fractal images of the universe. You are, as we are.”

If the first rule is as above, so below, that’s where she’ll start.

She ends up deep in the forest, and she can hear Tracker hunting her somewhere in the distance. She takes mud from the forest floor and blood from her own chest, using it to paint the goddess’s face on the bark of a wide tree. She’s no artist, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

She all but lays down, her knees folded underneath her and body pressed low, but her eyes cast up to the image. Slowly, it shifts until it shows the image of a beautiful goddess, the very one Kristen has been reaching out for. 

She appears in an inky void, mountains in the distance and a deity made of starlight in front of her. They speak of finding comfort in the dark unknown and wielding doubt as a tool rather than holding it in her heart; Kristen feels something slot together like a piece has been missing from the core of her very existence and it’s finally here. 

She’s pulled out of the conversation by danger looming outside of her new twilight protective circle, but Tracker is the danger. He escapes into the woods, free yet again, and finally finds her friends. She feels drawn in until she can pull the pinky finger bone out of Adaine’s pocket. She casts raise dead, there’s a sudden bright flash of light, and then it’s done. 

She feels her body return to her, hears her friends’ exclamations of surprise at her sudden appearance. She can see, in the low dusk light, the purple tie-dye of her new shirt made to represent her new goddess. Cassandra. She takes her first breath.

St. Kristen Applebees is born again. 

[lucyfrostblade]

spoilers for fantasy high junior year

Ivy Embra thought she saw Lucy Frostblade at Fabian's party. There was a moment where she thought Lucy came back to life, came back to her; or an exploration of a three parties that Lucy and Ivy went to and a couple moments in between them. Primarily written in from third person limited from Lucy's perspective with a brief opening perspective from Ivy's perspective set during "Party Politics" inspired by kipperlillyforpresident's TRG ship tier list and the Embrafrost conversation it sparked in my tumblr bubble. also this post by jack / ivyembracertifiedbitch

title: oh, honey, it haunts me to see you go

word count: 2.4k

relationships: Ivy Embra/Lucy Frostblade

read here // reblogs appreciated !!