#works just fine in their brains lol
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Genuinely hilarious to me that there are some older kinksters I know who can use it/its pronouns no problem but trip over their own tongues if they try to use they/them.
#yeen talkin bout stuff#yeen talkin bout itself#this human is an object right now so call it 'it'#works just fine in their brains lol#but singular they? they got their hands smacked with rulers over that one and the conditioning is strong#i love the older kinksters in my community they're a treat
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doodles of my fav sillies
anton belongs to @poicyss
#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it#im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3#im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow#homemade comfort blorbos......#watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks#or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands#i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks#its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days#i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside#cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine#AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached#i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right#on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands#and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits!#i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly#the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking#maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol#myart#my art#my oc#oc#friend oc#augusta#anton#vincent#sillies family#doodles
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)
#gw2#sylvari#artgallery#mourynn#mourynn art#I've just been so tired lately bc of work#also just going a bit stir crazy with the silence (lonely; but alas I unfortunately suck at starting convos bc I have nothing interesting t#talk about and work has been draining my social energy; making it even harder :( (I'd rather burn the social energy with friends yknow?)#it's getting a wee bit better; but I haven't had much time or energy to even game while we're in the midst of our busiest season :(#I miss hanging out and chatting with my buds; but the universe insists on keeping us apart :(#just miss having something to look forward to throughout my day. Been trying to fill it with other things; but the depresso is overriding i#Mostly just been me with my thoughts and that is just bad bc I got so many horrors in there lmao.#I wanna at the very least; draw more or game more to distract from it; but work is sapping all my time and energy from it.#but also it's very quiet on my end and it's kicking my overthinking into overdrive so I#Ive just been fighting with my mind lately lmao#hopefully this will all pass soon so I won't obsessively keep thinking about it loll#lol I'd post this in the servers but it's vent art so it feels a bit weird to do; so it's going straight to home video w/o a theater releas#hopefully once work calms down it'll help#(I have so many long shifts makes me so frustrated bc I hate them and I run out of steam half way through)#other than all that I'm doing fine lol. My brain's always been like this; But I usually only get like this during the winter season#(bc of the holidays making everything quiet and also the SAD) so it feels weird having this exact same feeling happen to me in July lol
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attack for @/pi_peeppeep_pi (art fight) !!!
#my art#art fight#artfight 2024#team stardust#team seafoam#YAAAAAY FIRST ATTACK runs around in circles#do u guys have any idea how proud i am of this!!! bc i am literally framing this in my brain im so happy with how this came out and im even#happier that pipi likes how they turned out :] i had so much fun working on this#even when i was trying to figure out how everything would look i still really enjoyed the process and found it really therapeutic#last year i had an art class and we drew a lot of skeletons (all human) and i think one cow skull and i also really enjoyed doing those#and working on this reminded me a lot of that class!! AND IM ALSO HAPPY BC I FOUND A BRUSH THAT LOOKS LIKE A COMBINATION#OF ALL OF MY OTHER FAVORITE BRUSHES AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN DRAW WITH IT THE WAY I WOULD A REAL LIFE PENCIL AUUGHHHHH IM WINNING#oh yeah halfway into figuring out how everything was gonna look the basement started flooding. for context i have a desk in the basement#where i draw . bc it's quiet . and it started flooding . LMFAO so i had to stop for 2 hours to take care of that with my dad#all is fine now lol just pray we dont get any more rain. then we might not be as fine but its all good
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Hi there! As a requestober request could you please draw something cute with Mob? I'm planning on rewatching Mob Psycho 100 and it would be great to see fanart of him in your style! :D
Day 17 - She loves me, she loves me not...
#My art#Requestober#MP100#Shigeo Kageyama#This uh. This was Intended to be cute it was Meant to be cute I swear I was Trying for this to be cute#It still could be???? Turned out way way moodier than I meant it to be lol it was just Such a strong image in my head#Like I haven't had literally Any MP100 images pop up since I last doodled them it has been dead silent#But as soon as they came into my inbox this image placed itself very very firmly and strongly in my mind and that like - never happens lol#So I followed it! For funsies! Please enjoy my unfiltered brain-to-hand lol#Mob really is just a boy - he has simple hopes and desires! For all the amazing things he's capable of he wants for such small things#So to be able to sit and Loves Me Not over his crush with a dandelion and find beauty and magic in that <3#Everyone is appreciating dandelions today yes? We're all caught up on our love of dandelions currently?#Glowing yellow center <3 Not quite a sunflower but he'll work his way up to it :)#It's a bit funny - I've been itching to rewatch a specific episode of MP100 myself despite it not having been all That long since#The Reigen episode specifically the one where he strikes out on his own and it's all ''fine'' - it's an interesting one#I wonder if I've watched enough anime in the meanwhile to appreciate any more subversions haha#I did take a crack at OPM but I ended up leaving partway through S2....#But MP100 kept my attention the whole way through!! Very good series <3 Very good boy ♥
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JD is going to ugly baby cry when he finally finds Clay? Like the overflow of Relief and happiness Will literally turns him into a blabbering mess That only Floyd can understand Because Floyd is the sensitive one.
I haven’t fully decided how the moment would go, there’s a lot of directions but I did decide to kind of do a concept doodle of this scenario, sort of. I was gonna send it with this ask but I think it deserves its own post for how long it is XD but know you were the ask that spawned it. But yeah I have lots of ideas on what could possibly happen, the biggest aspect of it that is subject to change is whether or not Clay is there in what would be this aus version of the Branch Floyd reunion from the movie, and then like what goes with that you know?
I’m more along the idea that Clay would be there, as would most of them, due to the circumstances having changed so drastically that they wouldn’t be separated by a fight, but you never know. This is pretty close tho to some of like my first thoughts, also sorry for taking a literal month to answer again the concepts I made were meant to go with this but I was going through so many drafts I legit just exploded.
The concept doodle will probs be posted tomorrow tho ;D
#Ryss responds#trolls au#n2 au#not the only one au#trolls#I’m just tryna have fun with it#so whichever option is most fun for me in the end is the one I’m going with#there’s a lot of changes to the third movie with how the cards are laid#I’m trying to think of fun ways to spice up the second movie but like tbh#not much really changes#because it doesn’t really have to#there are some fun moments I’ve thought of#like delta would def recognize branch and Floyd if I decide to let Floyd tag along#which changes entirely how lonesome flats plays out#there’s a sax battle I could do if my mystery mouseketool joins along#but then like after it’s pretty much the same lol#which I suppose is fine but you know#there’s also the fact that due to how the trolls movie timeline works if John is in da bottle he’s just missing for a month#then for the world tour#and then a month after#which is something that would become significant since John would be spending more time in troll village after movie one#but yeah lots of things rotating in this brain
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GOD there is nothing more frustrating than being like oh Yay there's a guitar tutorial for this song I want to figure out how to play and watching it and it's just like completely inaccurate . Like nevermind then
#'its definitely not what hes playing but it sounds pretty good' genuinely So happy for you thats completely fine and its genuinely#impressive you like reverse engineered a slightly different guitar part that works with the vocals but i just cant do this im way too#particular for it not to bother me that i would rather choose banging my head against a wall by watching various videos of him playing it o#stage and trying to pick apart what hes doing and spending hours and hours trying to figure it out and eventually giving up#than play this approximation soooo im gonna go do that 👍 because unfortunately thats how my brain works but its okay#brian daddario if youre reading this can you please send me via email the exact tablature for the solo acoustic arrangement of#corner of my eyes that you play at shows please and thank you xoxoxooxoxoxox because im going crazy not being able to play it exactly#i really dont mean this to be snarky because the guys uploading the tutorials like i mean it thats so impressive and way more work than i#could and will put in but its just like i dont want to spend all my time learning somerhing and then its wrong because it just drives me#crazy even though no one cares but its the autism like i just cant do it#im fully 100% certain ill end up never learning this song because i wont be able to figure out exactly what hes playing but i will try#anyway but its gonna take me weeks man#AHGHHHHHH i just wish someoen else had already done it lol
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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Ya know, it's occurred to me from watching the way c!Dream talks about c!Tommy being trapped in there with him. He sounds not just glad to have company, but also like optimistic, if that makes sense. Like the "We have tons of time to bond," [46:17], "You're stuck in here with me, whether you like it or not. Okay? Whether you like it or not you're in here with me for a while. We're gonna talk. We're gonna have lots of fun. We’re gonna have lots of fun. Remember–remember when we had fun together, c!Tommy? Remember when we had fun together?–” [46:45], and the "I've changed. I’ve changed. I’ve changed–" [47:19]. He doesn’t say it in a malicious, threatening way, which certainly would be expected of him. I mean, the person who imprisoned you is now imprisoned with you, as the big bad guy that seems like some torture opportunity to me (it is the torture box after all lol ;D), but that’s not what he’s suggesting. No, he sounds adamant about change, about bonding, about talking things through. And given that the TNT Ranboo sets off to get c!Tommy trapped was a part of c!Dream’s plan, it’s very interesting that that would be his response. In fact, it’s almost as if he trapped c!Tommy in order to force them to reconcile, which very much aligns with a theory I’ve actually had for a while - what if the plan to put himself in the prison was about restoring his image.
He was renowned as the villain and everyone was after him and anyone associated with him. They all wanted his head, either because of fear or to be seen as some powerful hero who slayed the big monster. Even in the time of peace, they were plotting to kill him. All while he really just wanted peace and friendship, but he can’t exactly have that when everyone hates him and wants to kill him. Sure, he could seclude himself like Techno, but he didn’t want that. He wanted to be back in the fold.
And he doesn’t want to die, but clearly, they were never going to be satisfied until they destroy him. So, he lets them, and he forms a plan for him to be redeemed in the eyes of the server. He makes a prison so they can defeat him and he gets to live. And he makes the conditions horrible so they a) don’t suspect it was his plan and b) so they feel satisfied with his punishment. He makes it super secure so a) people can’t just get in to kill him, b) so they won’t suspect he’s there willingly (he’s very powerful after all), and everyone can feel safe from him. But he implements an extensive visitor system ("I just don’t want to ever be alone.") so now people can feel safe enough to visit him, and without weapons being involved, work through their issues. The idea being that everyone can come talk to him (which they were too scared or angry to do before) and see how he’s not so scary after all. So, that they then can ultimately release him and he can be a part of society again, now that he’s changed. The prison than was a way to de-villainize himself, so he was no longer the enemy.
Meaning, his favor with c!Techno was a backup plan, and that’s why he didn’t set up a system to get the message to c!Techno sooner, he planned on being let out. He just didn’t plan for things to go so wrong and for people to be so cold…
#HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE!! and maybe this was the way he saw for them to be his friends again... :'( *sobs*#oh how wrong it went...#did someone order an essay?#not this one... oops my bad XD#dsmp#c!dream#no one does it like c!dream#dreblr#dream smp#pandora's vault#dsmp analysis#staged finale#dsmp lore#pandora’s vault has a singular purpose#and maybe this was it?...#this is fine#let me cook#ooof gotta love how I end up posting soemthing not on my poll lol...#okay in my defense this brain rot started because of elmhat's link..... soo... I blame them... lol XD#though I've had this thought for awhile so it just kinda highlighted it for me#look I swear I asked them because I was working on poll things...#dsmpblr
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actually finished this a while ago but i havent gotten around to sharing it .. but this is shri'iia's act 1 costume hihi... scuffed fancy drow armor that's based around the ingame set except it's more heavy armor than light/medium. the pose looks so awkward rn but im planning to do a set with her costume progression so it'll make sense later <3
#bg3 tav#drow tav#oc: shri'iia.#mine.#just sharing this now bc i havent been posting lately.... just been saur busy 😔#and the bg3 brain rot doesnt help lol#but i have some stuff in the works!! esp this jb thing im pretty excited abt ... but its pretty big (in my standards anyway) so its#going to take a while but hopefully i can share it soon......... bc i do like it lol#but anyway for this armor i actually like it??? its giving in game and im into it#my only issue is that it looks /too/ ornate for like act one.. but tbf this was her fit when she got kidnapped so it does make sense??#and its giving paladin which was the point.. but im like hmm maybe its too finely detailed maybe thats why im nitpicking it#i still think her cloth piece in the middle should have some pattern but idk what to add lol
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sooooo... *twirls her hair* how many asks should i send until kuwagami art. jk as well. the real question will be: does it happen often that someone else’s art inspires you? in fandom spaces specifically
well you see it’s like a loyalty card program, every 10 asks or so you get a complimentary kuwagami
just kidding you can just breathe in my direction and I’ll be tempted to draw them. kuwagami blast! (you've caught me on a... just okay art day lol)
(people still like kabedons, right?)
anyway for my actual answer: in terms of direct inspiration, it doesn't really happen much? the last two times i did art directly based on someone else's work is probably this one from this fic, and also that time i drew art of someone else's judgment au. oh! and there's that moriohpsycho art based on this comic! (filthyguts' work is so very. hgngngghh. very good.) nothing else really comes to mind, and when i think of the other things i've been into recently there hasn't been as much opportunity for that to happen...
flex and herds = strong fixation but lmao. almost nobody else made stuff about them. nobody is surprised umineko = surprisingly i don't read much umineko fanfiction? and in terms of illustration, i certainly picked up imagery and indirect inspiration but nothing concrete enough for me to give an example... now that i think about it, i did once draw andromalius from redaction/sunny, but that was years ago, and also mostly because i was acquainted with the writer. ...i don't have that artwork on hand right now death note = didn't really get involved with the fandom + i enjoyed my own ideas well enough! ...i can't recall if i drew long-hair-L art before or after seeing other artists do it. and as for everything else the same kind of reasoning applies. didn't really get involved with the fandom or wasn't really compelled to make art in response to stuff i saw, or i just don't remember anymore.
buuuuuuut if we're opening this up to just... pulling ideas from other people? then yeah, all the time, though that kind of goes without saying when you have a creative hobby. ...it's probably going to be hard to come up with examples of this since it's more ambiguous.
there's uhhhhhh... kuwana listens to nickelback which was a @/four-white-trees invention, wasn't it? (EDIT: and @/overdevelopedglasses!) (not tagging in this post so he doesn't feel obligated to read my big ass ask responses 💀) as of writing this, it's not posted but i did end up making kuwagami art based on a nickelback song so. yknow. there's that LMAO
for sawashiro and arakawa, i do sometimes go reference @/todayisafridaynight 's art to help me with my own. ("how did he draw this part of the suit? oh, like that huh? hmm" <- this kind of thing)
and um. i'm not trying to pander to you (at least not this time), but genuinely it's one of the few examples that come to mind at this moment. but when i was writing my first kuwagami fic, i could feel the influence of the ever-changing on my brain... was turning over some of your ideas there...
you remember this? (you even pointed it out in your comment on my fic, and i should've said something then, but whatever i'm saying it now)
that was absolutely because of this
(obligatory poke at anybody else reading this post that you can read passthroughtime's fic here.)
so, um. yeah. not really sure what else to add to that. pretty self evident i think. (i'm always talking about the ever-changing but i don't think i can overstate the impression it left on me at the time)
anyhow there aren't really any other examples off the top of my head! these are all recent examples so they're not so difficult to recall, but there are probably others i've forgotten...
#jitxt#started writing this unsure if i could give many examples and i ended up with more than i expected. nice!#sunny is a very good piece of umineko writing and i should reread it with the author's notes toggled on. and also read redaction#“shouldn't you have read redaction first” n-no. shut up! (besides i think renall said it was fine)#nobody remind me of that 20k note post that's just an uncredited screenshot of sunny. it'll piss me off#as cosmic balance i ought to shill sunny as much as possible#anyway uhhhhhh. the everchanging.#i am awful about receiving compliments (i never know how to respond aside from a rehearsed “thank you”) but i sure am great at giving them!#apologies if i'm laying it on too thick but#1. i am being truthful and#2. i figure it's reparations for all the time i spent as a lurker on the kuwagami ao3 tag#the explosion in my brain when i realised that “the nice person who leaves lots of tags on my kuwagami art”#and “the person who wrote that REALLY FUCKING GOOD FIC” were one and the same. crazy. and now we are mutuals ❤#it is a little funny thinking of when i'd read your and four-white-trees' work before meeting you#real life foreshadowing for me meeting you both....#i still have these discord messages of me telling a friend about both your works#basically: (reading an update to the everchanging) wow that was depressing (reading a joke in four-white-trees' fic) nevermind i'm good now#i ought to reread the everchanging and take detailed notes on all the parts i like#just so you know your impact on my brain lol#kuwana calling yagami a pretty boy and meaning it sincerely oh my GOD. rewired my brain
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first day at work
#its fine im just going a little crazy with all this online training lol#my art#i doodled these separately but pretend the bottom one is turgidsons brain while hes trying to work
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girl, being on west coast time and constantly working overtime and having a fuck ass commute and trying to be in a fandom really sucks :/
#just solidified my summer camp work schedule and will be essentially dropping off the face of the earth from june-august#not to mention my totally fucked calendar for april-may#i already feel like i've been missing everything lately LOL even though i know i haven't#i'm just mad bc my brain is too exhausted to write meta or fic or even engage with other people#i'm just so fucking grumpy rn why can't i daydream about my blorbos 24/7#i genuinely get like. writing WITHDRAWALS when i'm not able to be creative for an extended period of time like. i'm freaking out LOL#i'm fine i'll be fine i just asdfhsjgckljhnsldkfjcn
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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unfortunately for everyone involved im hitting the exact right combination of summer melancholy + extreme mental illness spiral + late july/august + insomnia that makes me rewatch shadowhunters. sorry in advance
#it was the only thing that got me thru 2017 i always associate it with the second half of summer specifically..#i started watching it in march but s2b was coming out in july/august so that's why those stuck#im doing so badly. lol#i think everything just kinda came together coupled not leaving my room for anything other than my daily walk for#1.5 months and counting but oh my god. hello#im spiraling into shit i havent had to deal with in like years can i LEAVE. I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS#it's not paranoia if im literally right 🙏 this is fine. it's fine <3#it's literally FINE if i repress everything far enough it wont bother me. im sure using that as#a coping mechanism for my entire life hasn't lead to an insane backlog of horrible shit that im gonna have to deal with at some point.#at least my brain helpfully doesn't let me remember 90% of my life so ion have to worry about all that. yay♥#guys it's direeeee tv show save me. i cant even work or go riding coz the weather is so hot i constantly feel ill#MAN whatever it's fine. at least i dont have scurvy i guess#barking
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