#which is why I always say I would probably be gay if I was born a man

[e77y]

I really want to like being a woman but I don’t. But I’m not dysphoric either; I like my body fine and I don’t want to change my voice or my mannerisms or even my pronouns really. So I don’t think I’m transmasc. Sometimes I just really wish I was born and raised a man. But it’s more of an “in another life” dream kind of thing. I think it’s just internalized misogyny idk

[ahli-stuff]

The Corinthian: more than an object but less than a human and a wretched reflection of his creator

My obsession with the Corinthian is so funny because at first it's like ok. Cool. He's this gay serial killer nightmare with creator issues who's turns out to be a charming antagonist while he's pitted against dream and going about his nefarious plans on screen. What's not to love?

But then there's the next layer of oh...he has preferences and quirks and interests, but he's not a person enough to be a human he's a tool.. that's why he gets unmade in the middle of the street by his lord!! That he had a couple millennia of history with!! Because it's easy.. Dream has the blueprints, therefore remaking the Corinthian and editing out these faulty design aspects is pragmatic. It's efficient. It's less effort and way less emotionally taxing that trying to wrangle in your rogue creation and trying coax them back into doing their job. A human makes a mistake, you correct and reprimand them and offer a better course of action. But if your wrench rusts, you throw it away and buy a new one. It doesn't matter if it's your prized or even your favorite wrench, if it's been rusted to the point of uselessness, you toss it.

And the Corinthian, the agonized wrench, can probably only think: "Did I really mean so little to you?"

I think it totally fucks with his mind. The fact that Dream refers to the Corinthian as his masterpiece and yet he is still lesser in every form of his being—his agency is lesser in every form.

But you can't really blame Dream, can you?

Dream treats the corinthans agency like he treats his own—unnegotiable. For him, it has always been perform your function or die.

Dream: We are, each of us, born with responsibilities. Even I am not free to choose to be other than what I am.

And the Corinthian, in his own eye teeths, has performed his prescribed duty perfectly without hesitation or fail for thousands of years as well and worn as a well used knife—but he knows he can do more, so he does. Because if his function is to chase and slaughter in the dreaming, what's to say can't do it in the waking too?

Besides, in the waking, he's realer. More combobulated. More valued. If you're a mirror for long enough you start to crave a look of your own.

And oh, even with the thrill of newfound freedom, he loves his lord. He's eager for to give to him—to share with him—everything that's ever been dreamed of. In the Corinthians long, long, life he has only ever had his purpose and his lord and for a while that was enough, but his expectations evolve, he changes.

And that's really what dooms him.

Over the course of The Sandman you can see that looking deeper into Dream's ideology "perform your function or die" reveals one of the true themes of the sandman which is "change yourself or die." The Corinthian, whether intentionally or unintentionally serves as a mirror to dreams own character arc and the way dream treats himself.

Like how people put facets of themselves in their original characters, I think that in the corinthian Dream put a version of his own insatiable hunger; to break every rule, to run freely, to enjoy hedonistically. In creating the Corinthian as a mirror Dream unknowingly reflected a distorted face of one of his own buried desires—and i think he couldn’t accept that.

The Corinthian even calls dream out for it at the serial convention (even though he's advocating for murder) he's also jabbing at Dream's unwillingness to show emotional vulnerability and the cage he's built around himself.

Corinthian: Or you might actually feel something.

The dream the Corinthian knows he always cared exceptionally little for humans save for a select few, so what remains is this. Dream might've cared for the Corinthian, but he would unmake him, his prized creation, not for any moral justice, not for a personal slight, but for his rules and nothing else.

For the corinthian, who has spent years upon years upon years with his lord, fighting in his wars, chasing after his approval, pouring every ounce of love and loyalty to him—it stings.

And then there's this scene.

Dream: You're right. This was my fault, not yours. I had so much hope for you. But I created you poorly then.

This is the Corinthian, knowing he is about to die, spilling his frustration and spite to his creator for maybe the first and last time and trying, desperately, to make dream understand that none of this is fair (it's never been, for either of them. It's been the function and nothing else for an eternity but they could be happy.)

This is Dream purposely misinterpreting the Corinthian in the way that is guaranteed to hurt the him the most. Dream, with a writer's indifference, reduces the Corinthian's complicated desperate desire for freedom, rebellion, and his creator's love to his typo. Like a character’s grievance towards their writer, like a man’s outrage towards their god, Dream decides not to deign the corinthian with even the right to call his treason his own. He will not even let him have that bit of agency. No, Dream made the Corinthian wrong.

And then Boyd Holbrook does a phenomenal piece of acting here—he knows how to play evil and charming so well but the Corinthian’s vulnerability is so starkly on display it feels like a knife.

And when you imagine he is about to burst into bloody tears and anguished final words, this is how it ends: they leave each other cruel and jagged, because the corinthian will not end pathetic and he will have the last word.

The Corinthian: I am only sorry I won’t be here to see Rose Walker do the same to you.

The first Corinthian never gets a happy ending.

I don’t think there’s any universe where he doesn’t bite more than he’s allowed to and there is no world where he can really be forgiven. As there is no universe where Morpheus Dream does not stubbornly tie himself to his function and hurt himself and those around him with his pride.

In objectification and the inability to change, they exist as wretched mirrors of each other: The first Corinthian, sick of his function and executed for abandoning it, and Dream, unendurably tired, taking his sister's hand in his when he can no longer bear to perform his duty.

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

IM SO TORN BETWEEN WANTING MIKE TO INITIATE THE BYLER KISS AND WANTING WILL TO DO IT, Will has suffered sm let him have his moment y’all but ALSO! MIKE INITIATING IT WPULD BE POWERFUL AF!! LIKE YES BOI GO GET YO MANNN AND DONT LET THE INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA DEMONS STOP YOU NO MORE I TELL YOU!!! GO BE THE HOMOSEXUAL U WAS BORN TO BE

But like… Will initiating the kiss tho… WOULD GO HARD Y’ALL… but on the other hand…

Buttt WHAT IF I SAID: let the kiss be exactly what they both need. Like yeah they obviously need to shut tf up and kith so fucking bad, but yk what they also need? Mike needs reassurance and to hear that he’s enough. Will needs mental help to get his gay shit together to work on his self esteem to put himself first for ONE SECOND AND HAVE SOME CONTROL OVER HIS LIFE. Mother Universe owes him that let’s be real

sooooo what if I said Mike is the one to initiate the kiss by asking Will if he’s allowed to kiss him (we all know that Michael Wheeler is the consent king)… and Will, with his face mere inches from the face of the dude he’s been dreaming of kissing for the longest time… h e s i t a t e s.

Because what if it’s all some sick joke? Or not real? What if this is Vecna, or a dream, or Mike wanting to mess with him? Mike is straight, isn’t he, so what is all this about? Maybe Mike is just confused and Will is an experiment to him. Will doesn’t want that, not even if it means he has to turn down Mike to avoid it… But something about the situation convinces him that this isn’t the case, nothing of this is the case, Mike genuinely wants to kiss him, and Will… Will says yes, and it’s merely a whisper but Mike is close enough to feel Will’s breath against his skin.

That’s all Mike needs to finally make a move and go in for the kiss… but he miscalculates somehow and misses Will’s lips by enough distance to throw him off completely, and god, he’s embarrassed, his cheeks flush red and he cannot believe he actually messed this up, of all things. Mike feels horrible and starts to stutter out an apology, but Will just isn’t having any of it, simply giggles laughs it off and smiles softly, and the look in his eyes does things to Mike that makes him lose his fucking mind… which is probably the reason why leaning back in doesn’t feel too bad, not bad at all, and maybe wanting this kiss isn’t as wrong as he’s always thought it is. Because how can it be wrong when it feels so right?

This time they both lean in at the same time, making sure not to miss. They’re both smiling, and most importantly: they don’t miss. Not this time.

[eldritch-spouse]

Ima be real honest when I first came to your blog ages ago the designs of Ludwig and Santi made me assume it was a gay (mlm specifically) blog (due to most male characters being so when presented in that way), which would have been fine but it’s not really the kind of thing I’m interested in often so I probably wouldn’t have stuck around.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that most of your characters are bisexual and also that your blog is mostly geared towards women as most of the monster stuff I’ve come across has been geared towards men, which has made it annoying to try and find things more relevant in the past. Whenever I have actually occasionally come across monsterfucker content geared towards women in the past it’s usually just been humans that hardly look monstrous in the slightest (aka maybe they just have fangs) or are too far on the other end of the spectrum where it almost just feels like beastiality

No- No anon- You can't just drop this in my hands and take off running. What. What do you- Be honest. Do I have the artstyle of a gay man? Putting that one aside (which I will need to unpack rsrsrs)-

I absolutely understand what you're saying. More below.

While a lot of the monsterfucker content I consume is veered towards women, most of that content is written. Because when it's drawn, it doesn't always meet my standards, just like it doesn't for you. It could be because the character is indeed too humanoid, because it's generic werewolf_#32980, they're too pretty, or anything else really. It's hard to explain but it doesn't always hit the spot.

I'll concede that sometimes it's quite hard to determine how sentient a described monster is, but you can always explicitly impart sentience onto them as the creator (like a licker from RE, for example. Sentience? Ehh, questionable. But a licker OC who retains sentience after transforming? Okay with me.) Unfortunately, some people like to lump teratophilia and literal animals in the same bag. I've had one admitted zoo follow me, instant block naturally.

A lot of the inspiration and personal favorite monster drawings of mine are, actually, made by gay men. They draw monsters better, I just can't pinpoint why. I like the style better, which inhuman features they choose to incorporate and how they do it. A lot of it is from gay furry artists that don't even consider themselves monsterfuckers yet draw monsters like they were born for it. I like it when they're cartoony yet still hot, they have more style variety, I think. There's so much to like that you often don't see in a woman monsterfucker's work. It saddened me a lot, before I started making my own content, that all of it was for men. Thus my enjoyment was always a bit tainted by disappointment.

I never made a conscious effort to emulate the style of mlm artists, truly. I just try to draw what I like. But a lot of what I sometimes attempt to syphon into my art comes from possibly mlm or not entirely originally women-oriented styles, yes.

You've made me question the vibes of my own art now. 🤔

[naturesgoddess]

♡ Teenage Adam + Scott Headcanons ♡

{ Hi guyz!!! Sorry this took me so long to post, I'm a lazy fuck. I just love rustynailshipping so much, and Adam + Scott as separate characters. So, I decided that I should make headcanons for their teenage years. Hope you guys like them because I sure as hell tried. Anyway, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! ♡ }

Story Contains: Mentions of domestic abuse, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, angst, slight fluff, mentions of sexual intimacy

–––

Scott Tibbs was born into a sweet household from day one, yet it soon corrupted once his father left the picture. From age 6 and up, his mother had a new guy over about every week. Not one had loved her — well.. maybe a couple. Some guy named Todd was pretty cool, but he drowned in a boating accident about 4 weeks after meeting Scott's mom.

Adam, on the other hand, was born into a real-life hell. Abusive and alcoholic father with no other way to take his anger out besides beating his son and wife. Adam had always believed that this is what families do. They're violent with one another. Thus, he never had experienced what actual love feels like.

Adam began to realize that this isn't what love is. He's seen kids at school getting dropped off by their parents, getting gentle kisses on the head, pats on the back, and praise for something as small as making a friend. Adam wanted that. He yearned for it, even. Yet, he knew that the closest he was gonna get to a kiss on the head was his father kissing his own knuckles before punching Adam in the head. So, his dreams were eventually crushed.

Now, when Scott and Adam were teenagers, they began to fully grasp how shitty their lives were. I mean, Scott's mom started dating this new guy, Terry, a little after Scott's 14th birthday party, and he was fucking terrible. He managed to drug her on numerous occasions and do God knows what. It was a traumatic sight for Scott, to say the least. Didn't help that Terry would also threaten to murder Scott if word got out on what he was doing. So, realistically, Scott was utterly defenseless. They ended up living in a shitty trailer on the outskirts of town. Luckily, it was close enough to Adam's place, so he really didn't mind all that much.

On numerous occasions, when Scott would get home from school, he'd hear Terry and his mother in their bedroom having what seemed like some intense sex. This always made Scott uncomfortable, especially when Terry would leave the room with his boxers halfway down his thighs. It was disgusting, to say the least. The worst part was Scott's mom always being high off her mind, clearly being drugged by Terry.

Adam was never excited to go home. He'd always take detours on the way back from school, maybe even stop at Scott's for a while to get both of their minds off of shit. But, he would eventually have to arrive to his nightmarish life back at home. And when he did, he'd usually get a beating to the face or stomach. Adam was usually left unconscious on the bathroom floor after his father beat him black and blue, which adds to the reason why he was on the verge of a panic attack when waking up in the bathroom with Lawrence.

Despite the agony of Scott having to see his mother get her life ruined by Terry and Adam having to witness and be a part of his fathers abuse, they had some rather good memories with one another.

Once, Scott had snuck them both vodka from Terry's fridge in his bedroom. They sat outside in the snow for about two hours just talking, drunker than Adams father. It was their first time not being sober, so they tried to make the most of it by telling deep secrets about themselves. This is when Adam confessed that he thought he was gay and that he's too scared to tell anyone else because he's afraid of what people might think. Scott, for once in his life, genuinely comforted Adam, telling him that it's not weird for dudes to like dudes. If anything, Scott would probably make out with anything living. At least, that's what he told Adam.

After this awkward interaction while being drunk, they never really spoke of it until a party during their Junior year. Adam had a black eye and a busted lip when he showed up, which immediately sparked concern in Scott. Bringing him outside to talk, they sat on the porch step, rather close. Adam, after minutes of hyping himself up, kissed Scott on the cheek, but then became extremely and utterly embarrassed. Scott, having never been kissed by a man before, let alone his best friend, had no fucking clue what to do. So, he returned the kiss, yet this time on Adams lips.

Let's just say that they were each other's first for a lot of things.

Waking up in Scott's bed the night after the party, things were surprisingly not that awkward. They decided to mutually agree that they both had feelings for one another, whether they liked it or not. By they, I mean Scott. Since neither of them wanted to be outed to anyone else, they kept their relationship a secret.

That is until Adam's father found out...

He had walked in on Adam and Scott, making out on Adam's bed late in the night. Window open, air flowing, shirts off. It was sure as hell a sight to see. Scott got practically thrown out the window, and Adam didn't return to school the next day. He was sadly beaten almost to death in the kitchen, being left to suffer next to some broken beer glasses and a bloody belt that belonged to his father.

Adam began to avoid Scott at school after this, petrified on what might happen if they interacted again. He spent numerous nights crying into his pillow, praying to God that he wouldn't wake up one day. Adam hated his life, he hated himself, but most importantly, he hated his father.

Scott wasn't going through anything too great at home, either. His mother passed out in the kitchen, probably because of whatever pills she was taking. He just decided to go to his room after witnessing that, thinking nothing of it. He's seen it all before. Sadly, he was very wrong.

Sounds of ambulance sirens filled Scott's ears at around 7:12 P.M., about 10 minutes after Terry got home. Rushing out of his room, he finds his mother being escorted out of the trailer on a stretcher.

"She's gone, Scotty."

Luckily, despite all of Adam and Scott's horrific truama, they had soon gotten better. After hearing the news about Scott's mother, Adam began talking to him again. Scott, foe the first time in his life, shed tears while being held by Adam. They had soon settled on not becoming a secret thing anymore, and maybe become something bigger in the future. Once they're adults and away from this mess.

Adam's father followed the same bath as Scott's mother not too long after. Maybe only like 4 months. This was the happiest day of Adam's life. He celebrated by inviting Scott over and staying up all night drinking booze, smoking weed, and whatever else. Adam and Scott were both around 17-18 at this time.

After graduation, Scott attended some community college near their hometown. It didn't cost much, which was a plus, and he managed to get away from Terry. Adam, on the other hand, had no clue on what he wanted. He decided to let the wind take him, and he was alright.

They luckily didn't drift apart, usually seeing each other almost every month. Scott began to really dive into selfishness and become an asshole, which really drove Adam mad. Yet, they both knew that deep in their hearts, they were still in love the same way they were when they were 15.

Thank you for reading this god awful story type thing. I tried so pls be nice to me. ♡

[naruversemisa]

Hidden Uzumaki?? AU

I have a hard time believing that all uzumaki just up and disappeared into the world after uzushio was destroyed, most probably went underground and went into hiding in various places under various fake aliases, to that degree there probably were some uzumaki who went to konoha after they announced that they’d take in any refugee uzumaki, maybe the uzumaki went to konoha and just kept under their fake aliases and disguised appearances (non-chakra kind cause shinobi would see through it) so that konoha didn’t become a second uzushio when uzumaki started coming back together

for this reason i propose the au that Umino Iruka is the child of an uzumaki person or couple who escaped to konoha, because other than his hair and eye color he’s got the tan of any tropic island native, his loud personality can easily blend with the uzumaki loudness, iruka is a frequent of ichiraku alongside naruto, he was known as a major prankster as a kid which seems in line with uzumaki playful personalities, and his name literally translates to “dolphin of the sea,” iruka meaning “dolphin” and umino meaning “of the sea” the same way gaara is called sabaku no gaara translated to gaara of the desert

i can totally see dolphins being a kind of clan symbol or even a straight up animal summon common in uzushio since they’re an island nation

also it’s a pretty much agreed upon fandom hc that uzumaki have large quantities of chakra and struggle to control it as a result, which can kinda explain iruka struggling with ninjutsu as a student in the academy

he’s shown to have some understanding of sealing for the string light barrier ninjutsu he used (though it’s seen much more frequently in boruto than in naruto) personally i hc that he created or specialized the technique and eventually taught it to his students as part of the curriculum which would explain why it’s rarely seen in naruto but more frequent in boruto especially by students of the academy (idk how reliable this is since i never read the manga but the fandom wiki says the students using the technique is special to the anime, so you could also just throw boruto out the window and say it’s iruka’s special sealing thing he taught himself and no one else)

uzushio was called the “village of longevity” and are known for their vitality which i think can explain iruka being able to keep up with higher ranked shinobi despite being only chunnin, of which is not common from what i could tell i also just think it’s funny he’s an honorary jounin in a group of famous ppl like kakashi and gai so we’re gonna take that as him being jounin level

idk what the connection between chakra sensors and uzumaki is if there even is one beside karin but i do think iruka being some kind of sensor type explains him always effortlessly finding naruto when it’s shown how naruto evades others of much higher rank and skill when he wants to

it’s stated that his parents died during the kyuubi attack that naruto was born in and he was pretty young then (prob early teens or preteen) so i can imagine if he had uzumaki features he’d have already grown up on the norm of hiding them but not been old enough to be told the truth of why

if he ever finds out then i imagine it’s by going through old stuff with his parent’s things with the info tucked into a corner alongside any valuables, or maybe he even meets karin or another sensor who feels his chakra and is like hmm this feels familiar

maybe he’s not even uzumaki necessarily, it’s possible to think he’s just a descendant of someone from uzushio who was part of a vassal clan of the uzumaki, which would explain away his non-uzumaki features

if we go down this route than we can view the “Umino” clan as being similar to the inuzuka clan with animal companions, specifically dolphins

previous reasons for him being uzumaki can still be recycled for why he’s ethnically from uzushio

this solution would explain kushina’s lacking connections in konoha, with the exception of mikoto, compared to minato who everyone seems to know personally especially since as his wife and high ranking shinobi she would have interacted with them frequently, as well as her seeming disinterest in uzushio as a cultural heritage and her people

kushina could have been discreetly in contact with several uzumaki or uzushio people in konoha, shinobi or civilian, under various disguises and just not been as invested or have time for minato’s friends or her own shinobi social circles when her lost family were right there for her to be with instead

it makes sense for their interactions to be discreet too since the uzumaki/uzushio people would have to keep their identities hidden from others and interacting regularly with a publicly known uzumaki would turn heads, plus kushina as the jinchuriki prob wasn’t well received by the civilians so from this angle too it makes sense to not be seen together so that the civilian ire wouldn’t be tracked on to already struggling and disguised uzushio families

this is now me being entirely self indulgent but i think it would also be really sweet and cute if kushina visited the disguised uzumaki/uzushio families in a matching disguise as a subtle connection to say they’re still family even if they’re in hiding

imagine kushina occasionally visiting iruka’s family and was a sort of auntie or sister figure to him growing up, and he assumed she died during the kyuubi attack like his parents when he couldn’t find any records of her whereabouts (which he wouldn’t have been wrong)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ everything from here is me just going off the rails so feel free to ignore lol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

also who’s to say there wasn’t a reason obito reminded kushina so much of herself and has such a different personality compared to other uchiha, maybe one of his parents was an uzushio refugee that kushina didn’t know about cause they married into the uchiha clan and died before obito could ever get to know them since he grew up an orphan

i don’t want to say this is because he’s part uzushio since uchiha also have high vitality but i do think his struggles with ninjutsu as a kid could be explained by uzumaki chakra quantities and it is kinda insane how many times he sorta not-dies in canon if he was just a regular shinobi in the academy before meeting madara, maybe madara somehow knew he was part uzushio and that’s why he chose obito to bring about his plan

because how else would a regular uchiha be on the same power levels as an uchiha who’s the literal reincarnation of Indra, a sorta demigod

kinda going in circles trying to make everyone i don’t know the parents of from uzushio lol but we don’t know gai’s mom, and she could have been from uzushio too, plus gai’s summons are tortoises and we don’t know where he got them from either, so it is possible that gai’s mom was another uzushio shinobi and possessed the turtle/tortoise summon scroll before coming to konoha and marrying gai’s dad and dying somehow, or maybe gai’s dad is the one with uzushio roots though if that’s the case i imagine his parents or grandparents had moved to konoha as civilians before uzushio was destroyed and gai’s dad grew up fully thinking he was just another konoha shinobi with a civilian family, or both

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with Vanity Fair (2024)

If you looked up the phrase “booked and busy,” you’d probably find a picture of Jonathan Bailey. The British actor broke out as Lord Anthony Bridgerton, whose love story took center stage in the second season of Netflix’s eponymous hit romance. He captured even more hearts as Tim Laughlin, a McCarthy-era conservative turned radical queer leftist in Showtime’s epic limited series Fellow Travelers, and will soon star as another eligible bachelor, Fiyero, in Jon M. Chu’s two-part Wicked adaptation—a part Bailey scored after Chu found clips of the actor singing online. “The fact that it was a YouTube video that got me the job is kind of wild and incredible,” Bailey says on this week’s episode of Little Gold Men.

On top of all that, Bailey managed to return to the Ton for season three part two of Bridgerton, which begins streaming Thursday, June 13 and filmed concurrently with Fellow Travelers—which bled directly into Wicked. He remembers practicing Ozdust Ballroom choreography during lunch breaks on Travelers, wearing his buttoned-up G-man glasses and sharp haircut from the waist up—“and then it was Fame from the waist down. I’ve got terrible videos that may or may not surface in about a hundred years time—hopefully once I’ve died, because they’re so embarrassing.” But then again, there’s a poignancy to them: “Tim, if he’d been born 60 years later, may have played Fiyero in the school production of Wicked. And he would have loved the shiny boots.”

Vanity Fair: As Tim on Fellow Travelers, you evolve from a conservative, religious congressional staffer in the ’50s to a radical queer man living in the ’80s. What was it like filming that character arc? I have to imagine it would be tough to do.

Jonathan Bailey: It was an incredible challenge. For Tim, he’s talking about the idea of religion and faith and what that gives you at the beginning. And I think it seems to have equipped Tim to endure a love against all odds. He never gives up on Hawk (Matt Bomer). And Hawk becomes his sort of living religion, and something that he believes in.

I was like, I want to see a gay ingenue who’s a fish out of water—who’s itchy in his skin. It’s not like he’s doe-eyed and just sort of hapless; he’s fighting from the get-go. He does not understand why the world is the way it is. His emotions are the thing he leads with. And he’s all about truth and transparency and honesty. And I think that comes from this Catholic sort of conservative upbringing. So it’s just the most beautiful quest that he has in his life, to find absolution but also acceptance. But he never stops fighting. That’s why, to me, he’s an absolute icon.

Tim is prickly and struggling internally with his sexuality while also dealing externally with important moments in American history, from McCarthyism to the AIDS crisis. As a Brit, how familiar were you with the American history?

Not enough [laughs]. It was not included on the curriculum. But then I’m not sure it really was in America, either. This is why we’re shining a light on areas of history that conveniently haven’t been included. It’s an experience to explore a character throughout that time, but also the history of queer experience—to offer me, as Johnny, catharsis. And to be in a predominantly queer environment to tell that story. I relished it, because there’s so much that I need to understand about the privilege that I have now and the people that came before me. The fact that there’s five out gay actors leading the show is because of all the people that came before. And I’m telling you, people have been loving gay actors for years. They just haven’t been able to say that they’re gay.

We’re getting more and more queer stories and queer representation on screen, but these characters are not always portrayed by actual queer people. I think Fellow Travelers proves that it makes a big difference when you cast queer, out, gay, LGBTQ+ actors in roles that are queer.

This is so specifically exploring the queer experience over 40 years. I think there was a GLAAD report last week that was kind of disheartening, about how there’s been a decrease in queer or LGBTQ+ characters being represented…. Tim and Hawk and all the characters in this are born into a world where they have to fight. And if you’re ever having to monitor or adapt or to survive, if your first instinct is it might not work because of who I am, then that’s the difference between being a gay actor and not being a gay actor. It’s the fight.

The show wouldn’t work without your chemistry with Matt Bomer. How did you find that dynamic? Tim and Hawk’s relationship has a sub-dom dynamic, and at times it switches. There’s a power struggle. It’s complicated and nuanced and always believable.

[laughs] Well, I mean, Matt Bomer is a supreme being, and incredibly lovely and great. He’s got such a wealth of experience. We met on Zoom to do a chemistry read, and then we met in a coffee shop about a week, or even actually less than that—like, six days before we started filming. For about an hour we said, you know, this is such an opportunity. This is what we’re really excited about. It’s a great amount of trust and a free fall. But that’s the point of gay relationships: There is so much nuance, and the dynamic is so balanced because there’s no gender, There’s no—uh, what was it? Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.

The fact that the intimacy is so richly explored is so important to the gay experience. It’s something that I found really incredibly vital as well—to allow people to understand the way that men come together sexually is also directly linked to how the world communicates to them. You know, their relationship with their self-worth and their shame. Also, literally, where are the safe spaces that they can meet. Even in their own homes, in [Fellow Travelers], they had a window of how many hours until the sun came up and Hawk had to get out. Even there it’s unsafe. I loved that the intimacy had its own evolution.

I’m glad that you brought up the intimacy. It’s such an important part and of the show’s DNA, and, frankly, rare to see intimate scenes between two queer men on television. What was it like filming those scenes?

Personally, I just think, What an opportunity. It’s really exciting to be able to know that you’ve got the space to be able to show what you haven’t seen before. I remember Queer as Folk, Blue Is the Warmest Color. There’s been beautiful same-sex intimacy explored. But I think in this instance, it was how the two characters came together, but also directly reflective of what’s going on inside and the distance between what they really felt towards each other—what they felt like they could say, and also what they felt that they had to do in order to survive. That’s where the intimacy is incredibly hot.

It didn’t seem to me to be an overwhelming ask for the intimacy scenes. It felt to me that that was exactly what it should be. If you’re going to tell this incredibly bruising, tender, detailed love story that’s going to explore four moments in history, of course, you should explore the intimate dynamics. And I do think you can show so much about what’s happening with a human in those silent moments of intimacy. That’s why it’s brilliant. You know, I can see where sex scenes don’t further the plot and they don’t explore character development and they’re cynically included. With this, that was never going to happen because it was all on the page. And it’s important.

Source

[morlock-holmes]

Part of my confusion about "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria" is that it's really just... not a good term? It doesn't really reflect what it's supposed to, which is the idea that some teenagers essentially take on a trans identity as a sort of social role spurred on by friend groups.

I think that this is likely to be actually true in at least some sense, so I was amazed at how unconvincing the Littman paper which coined the term actually is. The parental narratives advanced in that paper are just unbelievable on their face.

Ever since the gay rights movement I've felt that our vocabulary for talking about this stuff is deliberately incredibly stupid, for reasons I haven't quite been able to suss out.

In the gay rights battles, everybody got together and agreed that there were exactly two possibilities:

Gay people are born that way

Gay people made a choice to be gay

I think this is really dumb because those are really obviously not the only two options, and also because there's lots of biological "born this way" things we still treat or try to eliminate, and lots of choices that are still incredibly important to protect.

But also, like, okay, think about sexual fetishes. Say you have a guy with a cheerleader fetish. Cheerleaders are a contingent social phenomenon; no 12th century Breton had a cheerleader fetish. The possibility of such a fetish arose with the invention of the cheerleader.

But it's just as obvious that people do not choose their fetishes the way that they choose, say, a new car. Nobody says, "After listing out the pros and cons, I felt that having a cheerleader fetish was the best choice, because it combines a little bit of exotic spice while still being mainstream enough that it can't be used as blackmail if people find out about it."

No, one day you just realize that you think cheerleaders are really hot.

I do tend to think that gender identity is, for most people, a lot less immediately set in stone than sexual orientation is. My personal impression is that the vast majority of people start to understand very quickly whether they are attracted to men, women, or both, and that they only tell themselves differently because they fear social censure.

I'm not really convinced that the same is true of gender identity; I think that for an extremely large number of people it does function a bit more like a fetish, in that there are people who encounter the idea for the first time, go, "Huh, yeah that's cool or whatever" and after repeated encounters come to think, "Actually I am really into this."

I'm very, very suspicious of the tendency to then assert that this must inherently, then, be a discovery of something that always existed within the person since birth.

There's also the fact that gender roles exist, and people want to be legible to people around them.

For a lot of people, dressing up as a vampire on Halloween is fun, but dressing up as a vampire to go grocery shopping in June would be deeply embarrassing. Because on Halloween all the people around you understand why you're dressed that way and your dress makes you part of a larger social whole; in June you're going against the grain, marking yourself out from the people around you, probably drawing stares and hidden smiles.

Because sex roles in our society are so set in stone, there is a certain extreme dissatisfaction with not following them, even when allowed to do so.

I can wear chokers and frills and pretty hair ribbons if I want, but the women around me can do that anywhere in the country and have people think of it as normal, as obvious, rather than *a statement*.

Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, from reading the Littman paper, seems to refer to a parental conviction that their child essentially got the idea to be trans from a peer group who convinced them they were trans despite a lack of gender dysphoria in childhood.

Like I said, the general narrative is really, really hard to believe at face value, for example:

A total of 63.8% of the parents have been called “transphobic” or “bigoted” by their children for one or more reasons, the most common being for: disagreeing with the child about the child’s self-assessment of being transgender (51.2%); recommending that the child take more time to figure out if their feelings of gender dysphoria persist or go away (44.6%); expressing concerns for the child’s future if they take hormones and/or have surgery (40.4%); calling their child by the pronouns they used to use (37.9%); telling the child they thought that hormones or surgery would not help them (37.5%); recommending that their child work on other mental health issues first to determine if they are the cause of the dysphoria (33.3%); calling the child by their birth name (33.3%); or recommending a comprehensive mental health evaluation before starting hormones and/or surgery (20.8%)

So, like, the whole tenor of the paper is that these are basically very liberal parents who are sort of being cut off by their kids for no reason, but like...

This is typical of the general weasel wording used by Littman. Are the third of parents who called their kids by pronouns they used to use going, "She - Oops, he, I'm sorry" one time and getting blasted? Do they claim to be trying but just get it wrong literally every single time? Or do they just flat out refuse to call their child by their preferred pronouns?

When my brother was first entering high school, he joined the Sea Scouts, a division of the Boy Scouts dedicated to learning about sailing. He later entered a maritime college and has had a succession of maritime jobs, which will likely be his career for the rest of his life.

Is that the result of social contagion or was he born that way?

I think the question is obviously both absurd and irrelevant.

[volvolts]

spouting some wittebro headcanons (and my idea of their parents) because drawing is a struggle rn

the wittebane family drama

philip and caleb's parents are julia and dirk wittebane. dirk was a carpenter. they tried having more children but failed a lot. this strained their relationship

julia got closer with a farmhand that dirk worked with a lot named matthew ainsworth. they had an affair and through an (unfortunate) miracle, she got philip

philip mostly looks like his mother but he has his fathers bright blue eyes and dirk figured it out right away. they didn't do anything about it since it would look bad on them if the town got evidence of adultery

julia hated philip because, to her, he's a manifestation of her sins. him having strange quirks didn't help and she considered him a curse. she barely took care of him and caleb stepped up as philip's caretaker from then on

dirk hated philip too. he told caleb that philip was his half brother, hoping it would drive a wedge between them which did not work. instead it drove a wedge between him and caleb

ainsworth did not care for philip. he got together with julia to humiliate dirk, whom he felt inadequate to. he's only happy about philip in a sense that he's a living memory that dirks wife cheated on him

philip was vaguely aware that they didn't like him but he never knew why. he believed that he was cursed that that's why they're this way.

caleb couldn't bring himself to ever tell philip the truth and he probably figured it out on his own but didn't want to think about it

out of the two, caleb is the one who holds all the resentment. he was old enough to understand that he caught in their drama and forced to pick up the pieces.

caleb stopped believing in witches because all it felt like to him was people trying to push the blame to everyone but themselves. he saw no witches. just horribly selfish adults

just the brothers headcanons

caleb was born in the winter in january. philip was born in the spring in may. they have a six (6) year age difference

caleb is bi. he never knew you weren't supposed to find both women and men attractive and assumed people just didn't talk about the other one lol

philip is gay. because of what caleb told him he's like "okay i like men. when do i start liking women? this is taking so long."

caleb is really smart but thinks he isn't because he compares himself to philip. he doesn't realize that being able to understand and keep up with philip when he's in learning mode is not easy

he has a resting bitch face. caleb actually only started smiling more when he lived in the boiling isles and was pretty stoic and closed off when he was a teenager

by contrast philip has a "resting lost face" where he just looks sad all the time. people always asks him whats wrong. he hates it

caleb has a short temper and gets loud when he's angry. he's never hit philip during any of their arguments but the furniture around them can't say the same. usually he tries to leave the house when he's mad because he really hates being angry in front of his brother

by contrast philip shuts down. he's short and passive aggressive. he wont talk anymore and gives you the silent treatment. if he reaches a point where he starts screaming its very bad

the brothers are both introverts but where philip will simply leave when his social battery is slow, caleb will stay there even if he looks absolutely drained until someone pulls him away

beyond whistling, caleb doesn't have a musical bone in his body. philip can shred on a piccolo if he were inclined to

the brothers used to play a game where they would listen to bird calls and other animal sounds and call out what animal it is. caleb is really good at it.

theyre both really good gardeners

caleb actually thinks wolves are kinda overrated. he prefers birds and has a fondness for songbirds specifically

caleb left for the demon realm when he was 21. philip was 15.

caleb and philip were the roughly same height before he left. philip hit a second growth spurt in caleb's absence

philip was 22 when he makes it to the boiling isles

[clonebrainrot]

Something I think about a lot.

Back when I was younger probably around 6th grade soon after our first sex ed class. My teacher said more or less “it’s okay to be gay or trans or whatever you are” which is very cool. Especially as this would have been around 2011ish So long before gay marriage was legal across the country

Anyway at the time this gave me a lot to chew on since I didn’t know if I was straight or not and I told my mom this. Now my mom is a liberal. She was accepting of my cousin when he came out as trans later that same year. But she told that story to a friend recently which I didn’t mind

What I did mind was that friends reaction of “this is why they shouldn’t be teaching kids about this stuff” made me incredibly mad.

You know how important it is for kids to have someone who is accepting of them in their life or even accepting the potential that they don’t fit into the mold of “hey I am the gender I was born as and I love the opposite sex” that’s incredibly important. Kids will turn out LGBTQ weather you tell them about it or not. Because they have always been that way. As Lady Gaga put it “you were born this way”

I needed to rant about this. And always say thank you to my teacher who was dope as hell for being accepting in the early 2010s wish I could have thanked her.

[deathnguts]

Pls…Go into HEAVY Detail about the Lestrange brothers I’m a very curious bastard…very curious 👀

((Sorry in advance for our difference in writing for these disasters but I’m gonna use this to explain my idea of them but know that I still think yours is very cool and interesting and I genuinely love it so))

Ok I think the best way for me to make words about this is to try and compare them to something. So I’m gonna be the only person to ever talk about Orion Black ever yet again and say with my full chest that Alphard and Orion were more twins than Rabastan and rodolphus the same way Rabastan and rodolphus were more brothers than Alphard and Orion. Lemme explain.

Alphard and Orion are not twins, technically. They were born ten months apart, so they didn’t share the womb but they are the same age. They look exactly the fucking same because of those mixed genes and they were expected to do the same things as the oldest heir blacks. Since they were both the same school year, neither was really treated like the older brother by the rest of the family which lead to them growing up pretty much in tandem to share the title. They were never perfect non-twins, like they didn’t only like each other or finish each other’s sentences or anything, to everyone watching it seemed they didn’t get along at all? Like Alphard was constantly teasing Orion and putting off all his work because he knew Orion would do it and Orion was easily flustered and complained all the time about all the work his brother made him do. But like… if they hated each other than why did they live in each other’s skin. Alphard literally never left Orion alone, he was always there and always had his arm slung around his brother’s shoulders or something. He said it was under the guise of ‘looking out for his little brother because he’s socially inept and has no friends’ and Orion would always just say ‘I’m not your little brother we’re the same age.’ Like there was a bunch of other things being said that he could be worrying about but he just chose to be a brat and that was pretty much their whole relationship. They stayed attached at the hip until Alphard was to be wed at around sixteen and that was the thing he refused to do (because he was gay) and Orion did not understand his firmness on the topic that was really just another duty in his eyes (because he was aroace) and that was the first real divide they had. They never had a divide before so they didn’t know what to do. Alphard wanted to run away, he asked his brother to come with because he didn’t know how to live without him, Orion said no. Alphard had his doubts about his brother valuing their relationship and himself over his family confirmed, Orion had his doubts that Alphard was a childish selfish brat confirmed. Alphard left and they never saw each other again.

Sorry for all the exposition but here’s where I put it to use!

Rodolphus and Rabastan are twins, technically. They shared the womb but were born on different days, Rodolphus first and then Rabastan two days later. (I imagine the pure bloods are very traditional in their treatment of pregnancy and probably have never even heard of a C section, if they baby’s not coming out then the mother just has to wait.) This proved to be a premonition for them as people because just like their birth, Rodolphus was handed off to their father while Rabastan stayed with mommy and got to experience her warmth for so much longer. Rodolphus came when expected with little fuss, Rabastan had to make his own scene and cause so much trouble for his mother in the process yet she continued to love him anyway. They have different birthdays. They are different people. They were raised differently because their mother wasn’t exactly all there and claimed that because her second son stayed with her in birth (forgoing how he nearly killed her doing so) that means he was hers despite him being a boy (traditionally the mother would take charge of the daughters and the father the sons once they come of age, but the Lestranges didn’t do that clearly) ((also cue that TikTok audio where the mother’s like ‘a boy would be the son of France, but you shall be mine’)) and their father didn’t really mind because he has his own son too. The couple weren’t in love but they didn’t hate each other, so they truly didn’t mind raising their children pretty much separately since they both had vastly different ideas of being parents. Rodolphus was raised to learn to be quiet and keep his head down because he went to work with father ever since he learned to stop crying all the time, Rabastan was raised as the center of his mother’s universe while acutely aware she was crazy because it didn’t exactly feel good to have her crazed attention at all times so he learned to act out as much as he wanted becaus he could get away with it and his mother deserved it in his eyes. They saw each other at dinner and were allowed to play whenever they wanted, which they took advantage of when they were young. Rabastan learned early on to resent their father because he was always the one who took rodolphus away, Rodolphus learned early on to resent their mother because she never even looked at him. But as they grew into their chosen parent’s faces, they learned to resent each other as well. (Again cue the TikTok audio for Rabastan that’s like ‘thank you, I look just like my mommy’)

By all accounts they weren’t twins. They stopped even really being brothers when they started hogwarts, if you looked at it a certain way. They lead entirely different lives, adorned completely different faces and roles, anyone who didn’t know them didn’t know they even knew each other. They weren’t like the black brothers where they fought in halls and made a spectacle out of being different, they weren’t like the black sisters who could ignore their differences like an elephant in a room and play pretend that they were sisters despite the looming threat of difference, the lestrange twins were just… nothing. Barely even twins, barely even brothers. They lived in the same dorm room (since I imagine that Slytherin isn’t as populated of a house of that of gryffindor and probably means there’s less kids per dorm, two or three but I usually lean towards two) and it was like all conversation was silenced when they were together. Rodolphus would read on his bed late enough into the night to witness Rabastan stumble through the door with the stink of stolen liquor on him and neither said anything. Rabastan would watch through a key hole as all his family but his mother learned to favor the ‘better brother’ and talk in hushed tones of what their mother’s boy was growing into with Rodolphus in the room and the quieter twin say nothing to deter them. Rodolphus resents Rabastan for having things people value in life that he never even considered having for himself (freedom, love, living in truth) but doesn’t mind enough to make a deal do it because, in truth, Rodolphus doesn’t want those things. The only reason he cares is because his brother them (like true siblings tend to do.) But Rabastan resents Rodolphus for having everything he’s always looked for but never had (praise, adoration, love from someone who wasn’t crazy) and he truly didn’t regret or hold back that resentment because when had he ever regretted or held back anything?

But the reason I chose ti compare the failed twins to the broken brothers is because everyone expected them ti have the opposite relationship. Pure blood twins should be closer than anything, close enough to cause unease in how they are when alone, their seperation should be a disaster. Pure blood brothers should be… quaint, at best. They don’t owe anything to each other, their lives will be completely separate once they marry and have to start fighting for the title of Heir. But it was the last generation’s Black Brothers that were close with the shaking falling out and the Lestrange Twins that were a never kindled fire. And they did follow in their older Black Brother counterparts foot steps in many ways as adults. Alphard broke himself off from the family but kept his own money and power, which he used to live for himself and look out for a younger pure blood child (Sirius) that he saw soemthing worth change in and knew others would seek to destroy. Rabastan distanced himself from the family but kept his own money and power, which he used to live for himself and look out for a younger pure blood child (Regulus) that he saw soemthing worth change in and knew others would seek to destroy. Orion dedicated himself to the role he knew he was born to play and did what he was told when he was told to, no feelings for fuss about it, and was revered as a business man for it but despised as a family man for the same. Rodolphus dedicated himself to the role he knew he was born to play and did what he was told when he was told to, no feelings for fuss about it, and was admired as a business man for it but almost mourned as a family man for the same because Rodolphus didn’t have a family, he just had a wife that he never spoke to.

But at the beginning I said that Rabastan and rodolphus were more brothers than Alphard and Orion as a teen of endearment for them, implying they did have that brotherly idea of each other, and where have I shown it? No where, so here it is now. Where Black siblings always seem to have some huge falling out with a lifetime of silence to follow, most families aren’t that dramatic. Sure Rabastan and Rodolphus were never eveyrthing to each other, but they were still family. When Rabastan feels he has no where else to turn and he can’t stand to look in his mother’s ever fading eyes, he goes to Rodolphus. And just like their school days, Rodolphus will hold his hair when he vomits and have a guest room prepared without a fuss at all. When Rodolphus is at a loss for a scene of people being just so hard for him to understand, unsure of what to do but sure he doesn’t like it at all, Rabastan takes it like he used to take Rodolphus’ veggies under the table. Most things Rodolphus doenst understand are easy enough to either explain or dispel completely by just being his dramatic self and getting people to fall into the line Rodolphus understands again.

Rabastan and Rodolphus don’t parallel one another like good twins, they parallel brothers that could have been better then them. And in some ways, they actually succeed at being the better family to each other. It’s just complicated, because when is family not?

[nadiajustbe]

Quick question because I don't remember castle in the sky: is it specified that Lettie gave birth to the kid? Or it could be very well some crazy kinda plot in which this random kid appears in the lives of the three (justiman and Lettie) and now they have to navigate raising a kid while defeating all society expectancies of non biological child/Lettie and Ben are not really together/Justin and Ben are so gay/Lettie wants to be an independent witch/ what the hell is going on? Because god I'd read a magic comedy with this plot I love people who are not on love and who were not supposed to be devoting parents suddenly having to raise a child without getting together in the end (+ Justin of course the poor boy)

Thanks for the question, you're always welcome!!

Unfortunately, it was specified, even a bit too much to describe, that Lettie gave birth to a child. In fact, when we first see her and Ben in chapter fifteen, she's pregnant. Wich actually a bit concerning because CITA happened exactly one year after the first book (as Morgan, Howl and Sophie's son, is born somewhere in the middle of CITA and he's known to be two in HoMW, time difference between wich and HMC is stated to be three years) and Lettie was seventeen in HMC as she's stated to be one year younger that Sophie who is most likely eighteen there. And that is... not the best math possible, actually.

(also that's probably my personal preference but this scene is so "not it" to be lmao, like that's probably because of the smallest amount of development their pairing had, but it's just feels unrealistic or staged for unknown reason, for me at least)

This moment is stated in the end of the book and is just...there. The only fun joke it leads to is Sophie saying "she knew she was bound to be an aunt" wich is, she is.

(Although with Martha wanting ten kinds and Neil and Mari being technically a part of her family it's strangely hilarious she thought she WASN'T bound to be an aunt?)

The child doesn't even have a name, just being called "a girl with no ill effects at all" and, unlike Morgan, born about the same time, doesn't have any other mentions in the series, at all. The reason for her existence is a mystery for me. There's no plot/practical reason except for "they had a child, cool!"/nonneg

AND THE CONCEPT YOU OFFERED IS SO MUCH BETTER!!

This is something really DWJ-like in this absolutely random group of people having to raise a child no one planned would exist. And probably the only way I'd imagine Lettie being a mother or a wife (I should make a separate post about Lettie honestly I love her so much). She didn't want to be there, but that's what happens when you randomly decided to marry a Royal Wizard for a "why not' reason.

And, according to Ukrainian translation of HMC that described Ben and Justin as "inseparable" (in original it just said "great buddies" wich is also funny but not that much😔) you kinda you get Justin complete with Ben. Just like Sophie and Howl, two-in-one exclusive offer!

As I said that's all Hatter sisters do — defeating social expectations.

(Justin and Ben are really gay I guess If you're not random Ingarian citizen you can clearly see it lol)

Also this lines up with my little concept of Justing running from married life (yes he got married in CITA. Don't ask me how, that was... rather odd, especially because he run from the same marriage canonically a couple of weeks before it happened) and just having to stay with Ben because the Kind would have just destroyed him If he'd returned to the palace. And so they have to just... live together even though Lettie is not the part of the club, she just wants to learn witchcraft in peace.

And now there's a child absolutely announced. And no one can explain how. Or why.

Yeah, I would pay to read that. Probably even write myself.

[randomthefox]

Weird compliment, but I like how you've seen other transformer media before the original, yet despite that you still like the original more and kinda have a sour taste for the others,

it makes all your sonic opinions hold more weight since it shows that even if you hadn't played the games first you would have still know they were better because they came first, as well as nothing has portrayed the characters correct but you can still find things to at least enjoy (Shockwave becoming more evil, and Maria having roller skates)

That's kinda what happens to me with most media tbh. I think it happens for most people. You end up seeing the spin off or adaptation or whatever first, and discover that it's based on something that already existed. That is actually supposed to be the purpose of having a multi media franchise in the first place, every product acts as a commercial for every other product.

And every single time, without fail, upon discovering the source material I end up preferring it. And souring on the thing I initially was exposed to for being too different from the source material lol. I can't think of anything that I enjoy where I prefer some adaptation or spin off over the original. If there is, it's probably because I'm still not aware of the source material for whatever reason. As far as I know, I always roll with the OG. Pokemon? Miss me with that anime and Adventure manga shit, I only fuck with the video games. Yu-Gi-Oh? I don't even acknowledge the anime, I only roll with the original manga as written and drawn by Kazuo Takahashi. Same with Dragon Ball, fuck Z, Toriyama didn't fuck with letters and neither do I, and don't even try and talk to me about Super that shit don't exist. Harry Potter? That's a series of books, my friend, the movies can sit on a tack. Death Note? I know you mean the manga, and not that gay ass anime with its weird additional foot fetish scenes and fucking up the second half of the story and busted ass ending. And so on. And there isn't a single super hero movie that I've ever seen that I thought wasn't a waste of time compared to the comic books it was based on.

Like Transformers, I mean, I was born in the 90s. Ain't never had an opportunity to see the original G1 cartoon. I, like most people my age, initially became exposed to Transformers because of the Michael Bay movies. And let me tell you. Not a good first impression.

Funnily enough Transformers Prime was the cartoon I had the most exposure to, because I was really into My Little Pony Friendship is Magic during the brony craze. And Prime was the cartoon they were airing on the Hub Network alongside FiM and Littlest Pet Shop and stuff like that. And even then, I thought "eww why do all their faces look like they skinned a mime and then stretched their flesh over the front of their head?" Also I hated how Megatron looked like how he did in the Bayformers movies, which I was never a fan of. I didn't watch MUCH of Prime, for these reasons. But it was the show I had watched the most of out of the Transformers property.

I discovered G1 in my thirties. And holy fuck. Am I pissed it took me that long lol. That shit is fucking gas. Like, from the very first episode I was like "yo this shit is fucking awesome." I fell in love with Starscream so instantly. I saw the Bayformers movies first. I saw TAS first. I saw Prime first. I even tried watching some of the Cyberverse shorts on youtube first. All of them were duds. Finally I decided to give G1 a try, and finally it hit the bullseye. I fucking love G1. I bought the toys. I am IN. The movies, Prime, and ESPECIALLY Earthspark all served to do little more than push me away and make the series seem unappealing to me. It took G1 and everything inspired by G1 such as the Cybertron games, Skybound comics, and now TfOne to reel me in. (Don't come at me saying Cybertron games are part of the Aligned continuity - they are G1 games. Fall of Cybertron literally ends with the Ark flying away to earth during the era of the dinosaurs just like the pilot of the show. The way that game ends is literally incompatible with what Prime depicts).

Anyway yeah I pretty much always prefer the source material no exception, but I do be looking at the spin offs and adaptations. And I am very happy to take the good and leave the bad if there's any good to be found. Of course my definition of "good" seems to be much different from everyone elses. Apparently lots of people thought that the Bayformers movies making Bumblebee into a character who can't talk was "good" considering how many shows use that. Which I personally cannot fucking stand. But stuff like Bumblebee and Starscream having a little somethingsomething going on, based on the whole Bumblebee's ghost thing in the IDW comics? That's fun. Shockwave being a twisted fucking psychopath mad scientist which Prime got the ball rolling on? Rad, I like it. Dark Energon? Also cool, why not.

To me, what makes something worthy of taking from an adaptation/spin off is whether it feels like it fits or compliments the source material. I hate hate hate HATE when people incorporate things from an adaptation/spin off because they view it as an "improvement" over the original. They incorporate stuff from the adaptation/spin off because they view it as something that "fixes" an aspect of the source material. No, absolutely not my philosophy. To me, stuff from adaptations/spin offs can be used if it feels like it belongs with the original.

Shockwave's characterization for example: in the G1 Transformers show Shockwave was left on Cybertron for millions of years running the show while Megs was taking a nap. He doesn't get all that much screen time and when he is around he's just as much of a lackey as everyone else. But there's quite a lot of time that isn't depicted in the show where Shockwave COULD have been running around pulling some bullshit, especially since he's usually not on Earth with everyone else. So it just feels like it could fit in without disruption.

Maria liking skates is something the movies made up, but it feels like it COULD fit in the games. She's the one who came up with the idea of sonic's airshoes after all, which are just rocket skates. And the whole thing of Shadow pulling Maria along by a rope while running through the halls of the ARK fits in with some dialog Maria had in Shadow the Hedgehog 2005.

So yeah, I don't hate adaptations/spin offs on principle or anything. I just always find them to be inferior to the source material, usually because they're too different from it. That's pretty much how it goes with everything I'm into, more or less.

[spandexual]

Hello!

Really having lots and lots toku thoughts today and eager to ask or say stuff

I actually keep thinking of Naoto with gunshot wound. I’m also thinking what if it’s completely other Naoto from the ending entirely but he still has them. I’m wondering what Tatsuya would think if they met. If he saw. Don’t know how he would since bird seller Naoto is hidden behind two layers of clothes lol I am thinking it. What did you do to me omg /affectionately

I’m also thinking, was Daiki that OOC in Super Hero Taisen? It’s always so fucking funny how he went I’m blowing up Earth because of his Tsukasa Problem™️ so I never thought if that was unusual of him (re: bro, you are supposed to protect it). But. Like, listen, if pink/black leather bombshell is leaving you for a sexy pirate, what else can you do, really. Daiki has been putting up with it for years, and not that successfully so

Also want to ask, haven’t finished enough toku to know but are there any other aro and/or ace characters to headcanon except like Tarou out of all people or Goseigers being angels who are more or less above it even if they have stuff going on (coughs in Agri’s direction, the ultra super puper gay). Sighs, I love Tarou aro lol and his yaois with monkey 💙 are so fun too. Actually, now that I think about it, monkey isn’t much of a human too really, maybe they’re both above romance, not like they need it. I also saw edit of monkey’s actor on some BL yesterday and when a guy smacked him with a vibrator, I thought, “That’s what Momoi does to Saruhara every single day”

the Timeranger finale credits scene is so interesting to me because truly What Does It Mean. In my mind all of the appearances were non-canon but I kind of like the idea that Ryuga's wibbly-wobbly time-wimey history-rewritey bullshit kinda restored Naoto into the timeline but as a different man with a different life story than the one who died. Like maybe after he and Tatsuya parted ways he realised that he was never going to have the power of the born elite and instead of being radicalised by that he instead accepted it and decided to make the best of his own life. Instead of chasing medals he got a job cleaning up bird shit and feathers at the local pet shop, instead of dedicating his life to climbing the paramilitary ladder he proved himself a reliable hand and now manages the pet store by himself... I don't think Tatsuya would recognise him. Even if he did, I don't know if he'd be able to handle it. His relationship with Naoto and how it ended both times was clearly so traumatic to him, seeing a guileless stranger with the face of a man who died in his arms would be alien. It wouldn't be healthy. There's no happy ending for either of them together, but apart, maybe.

also yeah Daiki is the #1 fumbler in the universe it's pretty impressive. Like he didn't stand a chance against Marvy-chan to begin with but the real tragedy there is that Daiki thinks they're confirmed boyfriends and that he doesn't need to seduce Tsukasa because he's already done it but Tsukasa straight up doesn't know who he is any more. yknow how so many straight dudes basically stop even pretending to actually like their wives the second they get married. that's Daiki lowkey lol.

and tbh I think there are a LOT of aro/ace-adjacent readings in toku in that for the most part romance isn't rly a thing in a lot of them. Tarou and Alata are probably the two I would say most confidently are ace (and aro on Tarou's side... idc what easily-baited-by-INOUE-of-all-people fujoshis say, that shit with Sonoi was NOT romantic on his end at all. there are monster pairings that had more romantic tension from the hero's side) with the majority just having no romantic storylines (in their actual shows at least... I would have said Takaharu was aroace but UMM WHY DID HE SHOW UP MARRIED WITH CHILDREN?)

but yeah monke very cute also one of the most genuinely monke looking boys toei has ever cast which is impressive seeing as. well. have you watched go-bus. that's a heartily monke boy there for sure

[archer-kacey]

Joey Drew is Gay and there's no way around it (Pt 1)

I want to immediately preface this by saying I never want to assume that a character is gay, straight, bi, etc. Usually the creator will confirm this type of thing, or it will end up being confirmed or implied later down the line. Joey, however, has something unique in comparison to the rest of the cast- we have his autobiography. This paired with information found in the games themselves and additional novels already give us a pretty big library of information to draw from. We have most of his life story given to us on a silver platter, and in my opinion, the non-heteronormativity speaks for itself.

Let's start with Dark Revival, because it's an easy starting point to offshoot from.

Memory Joey tells Audrey this: for Joey Drew, a family was something he always wanted, but could never have. For most people, this probably translates as Joey being too absorbed in his work, himself, and the studio to raise a family. While Joey did have a big ego and undoubtedly had his hands full, I struggle to believe that this would prevent him outright from even trying.

First off, if Joey's end goal was "a family," then there are a million questions that immediately come up. What kind of "family" was Joey striving for? Dark Revival seems to at least confirm that he wanted a child of his own, and to be fair, solely having Audrey seemed to complete him.

When Joey was alive, there were some pretty easy ways to accomplish having a family. One would be the heterosexual route, marrying a woman and having a child, and arguably this would be the easiest. He could have also adopted, especially if he was Ace, or if there was a possibility he was just an infertile man.

Here's the thing, though- he didn't do either of those.

Now, I fully understand that if Joey were a mouse stuck in a maze, he would take the longest possible route to get to the cheese. He's a bit stubborn and childish, and developed his god complex faster than a Polaroid camera photo. BUT, his two brain cells kick in whenever there's something he truly wants.

Joey doesn't operate on brute force. He outsources absolutely everything. He'll wrap up an entire web of people into doing his dirty work, but he himself wants to take the path of least resistance. So, when dealing with a personal matter that can be very easily tended to...why the hell ignore the entire thing? Having a kid would have worked pretty smoothly with his self-interests.

The way Joey goes about actually "having" kids is very strange. Firstly, there's Bendy, born via Ink Machine. Secondly, there's Audrey, also born via Ink Machine.

Hey Joey, quick question...why are all your kids birthed via giant metal box?

Oh, I'm not kidding about Bendy being Joey's child, either.

In Illusion of Living, Joey states that he views Bendy as his son, and this is specified to not be a hyperbolic statement. Nathan also volunteers the information that Joey felt the same way about Bendy as he did about his own son (Nathan Jr.) Joey also describes Bendy as his muse and his messenger. Joey's philosophy, The Illusion of Living, is the belief that fiction and reality are the same thing, which feeds into a heavy insistence that Bendy is real, and he scoffs at the idea that people would dare think he isn't.

Illusion of Living was released in 1942. So, starting in at least 1942 (though I suspect earlier,) Joey was very protective of the image of this character, and convinced himself that this creation was his own son.

In short, he was already attempting to fill a childless void with a fictional substitute.

However, the sad fact is that Bendy was ultimately a filler child that still couldn't satisfy him. But when Audrey came into being, that was it. Joey wanted a human child, and Audrey was the closest thing to that, hence why she was his last attempt. So he settled down and raised her until his passing.

But we’re not done talking about Bendy yet. Joey's intense connection to Bendy has far-reaching implications.

PART 2>>

[sillyfanatic]

Snowstorms and card games

Merry christmas and happy holidays! Here's my little festive present to all of you! (Because what's more festive than gay hedgehogs and snow <333) Click here to read it on ao3 :D

CW for detailed mentions of food!

p.s: Thank you to everyone who responded to my post about Shadow's teleportation, it helped a lot with this fic!!

(wc; 4142)

-

The whistle of the wind and the rattling of the window had pulled them out of their conversation. Sonic stood then, walking to tug the curtains to the side, wanting to discover what lay on the other side. It was late now, and yet there was a brightness to the evening, heavy snowfall batting against the window with force.

Shadow didn’t mean to be here this long, there was barely a snowflake in the air when he’d first come here, and now… well, now, it looked like a blizzard was brewing on the other side of the wall.

“Oh, shit, how long have we been talking?” Sonic shook his head and pushed the curtain back, as if hiding the outdoors would change the weather. A quick glance at his watch indicated 10:43PM. “Hm.” A quiet disappointed huff, perhaps the start of a realization.

They both knew Shadow lived far. While Sonic had opted for a home in the countryside, the agent’s career required him to live in the heart of the city. They also knew that his bike, which had been conveniently parked by the front steps, was now stuck underneath a thick blanket of snow.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stay this long.” It’s all Shadow could muster as the situation fell upon them: an apology for something that was outside of his control.

“It’s fine.” Sonic reassured, as he always did, but his eyes betrayed him. There was a glimmer of unease in them, a worry in the way his brows furrowed pointedly. Was his presence really that bothersome? Did the thought of them being stuck together annoy him?

He was already worrying, reading into things.

The agent felt a familiar heaviness in the air, the awkward silence he and Sonic often struggled to fill. Except when they were talking about work, which they had been, for… three hours, it seemed.

Why had he let himself get carried away?

“I should go.” He stood then, but moved no further, standing still as he eyed the other.

“Are you insane?” Was the immediate reply on Sonic’s behalf. The blue hedgehog drew the curtain back again, a dramatic show of their current situation. “Shadow, your bike’s at least six feet under by now.”

The thought of his beloved motorcycle being left to rust out there was almost enough to make him wince.

But it’s not what he’d meant. There was a better, easier, way to get out of here.

“No, idiot, I’m just going to-“ he started, feeling himself becoming more and more irritable. The situation wasn’t great, he wasn’t happy to know he’d wasted three hours here, that his bike would need some repair after this, and Sonic’s oddly placed nerves didn’t help either.

Frustrated, he reached into his quills seeking out…

It wasn’t there.

“Were you about to say that you’re gonna chaos control?” Sonic’s arms were crossed now, and there was a smug smile on his face. It wasn’t helping Shadow’s souring mood, not by a landslide.

“Fuck you.” He spat out, surely an aggressive reflex born from his past, not by the person he was trying to be.

“Fuck me? You’re the one who came here asking about a chaos emerald in the first place!” He pointed out, very annoyingly.

“Let me think.” Shadow mumbled, pacing around the room as a heavy silence settled between them once more.

There had to be something he could do, some way he could get out of this house. He’d just come here about the emeralds, and yes, although the three hours they’d spent discussing them wasn’t entirely unpleasant, it did not mean he wished to elongate his stay.

But every answer seemed to fall short. His bike was not usable, and even if it was, the roads were probably undistinguishable. So, vehicles were a no, and sonic didn’t own a plane (tails did, but he stored his plane in his garage, which seemed inconvenient now.)

And he couldn’t teleport out of here because he lacked a chaos emerald.

“Your pacing is stressing me out.” Sonic was still standing by the window, leaning against it now. He looked so nonchalant, how the fuck did he seem so calm now? Had he accepted the situation that easily? Was change, unexpectedness, not frightening? It certainly froze up Shadow.

“Helps me think.” He slowed down, still, feeling himself get a bit too worked up.

“Think about what? There’s no way out of here dude, you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”

“I could walk?” He knew it wasn’t an option, he’d even spoken it as though it was a question, not a suggestion.

“Sure, that would be a super cool way to die.” His voice was thick with sarcasm. “‘Tried to take a walk in a blizzard’ is what I’ll have them write on your gravestone.” Sonic chuckled at his own joke, making the other stop his pacing entirely just to glare at him.

“Aren’t you trying to think of anything? You certainly don’t want me here all night, do you?”

“Mm, wouldn’t be the worse company I’ve ever had.” The hero shrugged his shoulders, ignoring half of the questions asked to him.

Fuck. This was going to be a long night.

-

The way the windows rattled against the storm was concerning to say the least. A couple of hours later and the house had not yet fallen, despite the cracks and the creaks occasionally heard throughout the home.

It wasn’t the worst place he could be stuck in. This wasn’t G.U.N headquarters, or knuckle’s house (that, he’d risk a walk in the snow to escape.)

In fact, it was kind of cozy. He’d only ever seen the kitchen / dining / living room area, but Shadow felt fond of the decor here, the messy mish mash of vintage 80s furniture and sentimental items that did little to match the ongoing “theme”.

It was comfortable, not too gaudy, and it didn’t appear to follow any set rule or rhythm. Kind of like Sonic.

Sonic, who had been noisily rummaging in the kitchen for the past few minutes as Shadow lay on his back on the couch, begging the minutes to go by faster. The agent had run through every possible escape plan, most of which landed him in the hospital. He was resilient, sure, but he wasn’t stupid; no mobian could face such low temperatures and harsh weather conditions with barely any protection. So, he’d reluctantly concluded that he’d have to stay here for a while, until a solution came up, or until the storm vanished. Both of which felt like they were years away.

The noise Sonic made was bothersome, yes, but not nearly interesting enough to warrant his attention. And so, Shadow ignored it.

That was, until a smell started to tickle his nose: something warm and spiced, a savoury aroma filling the air around them.

It managed to make him move. Propping his elbow underneath him, Shadow threw a peek into the kitchen. As expected, there Sonic was, fussing over a large pot, the metallic edges surrounded by vapor. There were cutting boards and utensils strewn across the area, ingredients and their unusable portions littering the counters.

It was intriguing, he supposed. Or at least, it was something to do, something to watch.

And so, Shadow pushed himself up, heading towards the small kitchen to bother the other hedgehog.

Sonic barely glanced at him as he made a trip to the fridge, taking out some carrots to cut and peel.

“It’s stew, nothing fancy.” He spoke as he chopped, the crisp sound of cutting carrots repeating itself gently.

“Mm.” Shadow huffed, but his curiosity was peeked. Looking into the pot he could observe a rich broth, laden with vegetables and some sort of meat, a labour of care. And although he couldn’t see them, there were spices, a nice mix of seasonings that almost made his mouth water.

Sonic slid the carrots into the mix, snapping the agent out of his daze. “It’ll be ready when the carrots get softer, maybe fifteen minutes, I’d say?” He stirred the mixture slowly, the broth changing colours and shimmering as he did so.

“Where did you learn to cook like that?” It was the closest thing to a compliment.

Sonic put the ladle aside, shaking his shoulders.

“Don’t know. I’ve always loved cooking. I think I wanted to be a chef when I was young.” There was a small huff, something akin to laughter on his lips. There was some humour in a retrospective like that, to think of what you dreamt, knowing what had become of you after all those years. “I guess I also learnt for survival, yaknow? Cooking basic things with what I had, making sure tails and I were always fed.”

It was hard to imagine Sonic as anything else than what he was now. A chef? The idea seemed ridiculous. Perhaps in another lifetime, in a different universe somewhere, Sonic the hedgehog was known as a chef.

It made Shadow wonder; did he have dreams and aspirations too, an ideal career he never fulfilled? If there was, he struggled to remember it now.

“Plus, I just wanted to cook the last of what was in the fridge, in case we lose power.” He noted, moving to stir the mixture once again.

It made sense, it was smart. Shadow kept these remarks to himself, opting to stay quiet instead.

-

When the food was eaten and stored away, they faced boredom once more.

Shadow found himself on the couch again, laying on his stomach this time, hoping to fall asleep out of annoyance.

Sonic was somewhere around him, fidgeting or fussing with a Rubik’s cube from a nearby shelf.

As bored as he may be, the agent would not fall asleep. He barely slept in his own bed, for Chaos’ sake, it would be impossible to pass out here, on a coworker’s couch.

Lifting his head, he turned his gaze to the other. Sonic had given up the Rubik’s cube and was now fighting with a rather pilled cushion, attempting to remove lint off its surface. If only his admirers were here to see him lose a battle with lint. The thought made Shadow huff.

“Rouge used to force me to play board games when we were snowed in.” He spoke, sharing a memory – there were few he cherished, and this one was a part of those few.

“Oh yeah?” It brought a slight smile to the hero’s face, distracting him from his never-ending battle with the old pillow. “Seems on-brand for you two.”

“Mm. It was nice.” He cracked a small smile too, feeling the other’s joy affect him. He added; “if you tell her I said that, I’ll kill you.” His tone wasn’t serious enough, the premise of the threat too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

Sonic burst into laughter then, eyes crinkling with joy as he tilted his head backwards. It was contagious, endearing in a way the dark hedgehog could not describe. When his laughter faded, he replied; “I think I’ll have to risk it, it would be fucking hilarious to let her know you actually enjoy her company.”

“It would be cruel.” Shadow couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried.

“’The perfect prank’, is what I think we should call it.” Shadow rolled his eyes at this, but he could not feel any annoyance at the words. “Alas, I’m not as smart as Rouge, I don’t have any board games.” Sonic sighed dramatically, swinging his feet in boredom.

“It’s fine.” Shadow replied nonchalantly, though he’d hoped there was something for them to do.

Sonic didn’t reply, gaze fading somewhere out into the distance. He bit his lip as if in thought, and Shadow could not find it in himself to look away. It was more entertaining than keeping his eyes closed, that’s for sure. Sonic’s legs went still then, his eyebrows furrowing. “Wait, hold on.” He snapped out of his thoughts, standing rapidly. “I think I have something.”

“A secret copy of monopoly? We both know you’d go bankrupt immediately.”

Shaking his head, Sonic extended a hand forward, urging the other to stand with him. The agent found himself just interested enough to take the offer, placing his hand in the other’s, letting himself be guided to another part of the small home.

-

Sonic’s room was surprisingly nice.

Shadow was sat on a fluffy white rug as Sonic shuffled through some drawers for something.

The bed was not made, the green sheets tossed about in an endearing way. The furniture was of a nice white oak, a matching set that felt unlike Sonic – it was a touch too coordinated to feel quite like his doing.

The walls were covered in pictures, cards, tickets, memories of all kinds taped to the white surface. There were bookshelves laden with books and trinkets, an old television with even older video game consoles surrounding it, their yellowed controllers strewn about.

Like the rest of the home, it was disorganized yet personalized, an insight into Sonic, one Shadow could not dislike.

“There it is!” He beamed triumphantly, hurrying to sit down in front of the black hedgehog. In his hands was a relatively small cardboard box, a rectangular one.

“It’s the only board game I have.” He explained as he took off the top, revealing a set of nicely stacked cards. There must’ve been about 50, all a nice red colour with white text peeking out. “Amy gave it to me a few years ago, never had the chance to use it.”

Shadow picked a card from the pack, reading the text printed on its surface “Your favourite vacation spot.” he mumbled under his breath, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah, it’s like a ‘get to know the other person’ kind of game, I think.” The hero spoke as he handled a small instructions packet, flipping through its glossy pages at a worrying speed.

“I see.” He turned the card around in his hand – the other side was simply decorated by a white heart in its center. He felt himself grow warm, his cheeks surely becoming pink - it was hopefully concealed within the low light of the room.

“We don’t have to play if you don’t want to, I just thought it would be nice.” The black hedgehog lifted his gaze to look at the other; Sonic had a warm smile lining his lips, his features speaking of ease and nonchalance, a casualness Shadow envied in this moment.

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’ll play.” He wasn’t afraid of a few plastic cards, surely. Fidgeting with the one in his hand, he eyed the other. “But it’d help if we had… incentive.”

“Hm?” The blue hedgehog began, lifting his gaze from the booklet he seemingly barely read. It soon dawned on him what his friend had meant, and by the way this evening was headed, he was sure it wouldn’t hurt to indulge, just for once. It wasn’t like they could leave the house anyways, so being in a proper state of being was really unnecessary, if you thought about it. “Mmm, gotcha.” He nodded. “I don’t have much, I don’t know what you like, but I hope some cheap wine from a few years ago will do.” He smiled in a way that he hoped was apologetic. Here he was, offering low-end alcohol to Shadow, who probably owned some of the finest bottles in town (though that would be more because of Rouge than because of him).

“It will do.” He replied, that familiar passiveness returning on his features.

“Good, because I think Amy gave it to me as well, and I need to drink it soon before she realizes I haven’t touched it.”

Without another word (he spoke too much, always) he left the room, fetching the bottle from the back of some cupboard, as well as the only two wine glasses he owned.

Returning, he settled the glasses on the wood floor, besides the carpet. The bottle was quickly opened, its contents carefully tossed into the two glasses.

Shadow took a sip, and to the other’s relief, he did not recoil. (The thought of it mortified Sonic). His lips curved into a slight smile as he remarked; “I think the most surprising thing about tonight is that you own proper wine glasses.”

“I’m full of surprises.” Sonic spoke as he sipped his drink, the odd bitter taste coating his throat. It wasn’t entirely repulsive; he’ll give it that much. And it was all they had, so it would do well.

-

The wine flowed more easily after a few sips. An unfamiliar warmth held him loosely, a fuzziness in his limbs that made the hero smile brighter, laugh easier.

He could see the wine starting to loosen the other, though Shadow’s tolerance surely outshined his own. Still, the agent seemed calmer than he had all night, his usually unpleasant demeanor switching towards something more easy, friendly.

Sonic would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see more of that person, a peek behind the curtain of a closed off hedgehog.

“Right, I have ‘favourite colour’.” Shadow huffed at the card, rolling his eyes.

“What’s so bad about that?” Sonic pouted, eager to know the other’s favourite colour. Small as it may be, it intrigued him to peer into his friend’s mind.

“Please, I’m sure you know my favourite colour.” He shook his head as if this was an obvious thing – nothing about him had ever been ‘obvious’, not even his favourite colour.

“Couldn’t tell you if it would save my life.”

“Really?” The agent tilted his head to the side as his gaze poured into Sonic’s, making the hero take a larger sip of his wine than intended.

“Mhm.” He nodded as he tried not to choke on the wine. “You’re pretty secretive.” His fingers fidget with his glass, unable to stay still. “But you seem interesting. It’s why I thought this game would be nice.” He shrugged his shoulders at the confession, hoping the nonchalant motion undercut the hidden message and the oddly heavy emotion behind it.

I want to know you. I want to be your friend, and I want to spend time with you. I don’t know why.

“It’s green, I like green.” Shadow’s smile was soft, inviting.

“I like red.” Sonic blurted after, feeling the alcohol’s effect on his tongue, loosening his thoughts and easily spilling his words.

“Good choice.” The dark hedgehog practically purred, finishing the last swig of his glass. It was hastily topped off.

Sonic ran his fingers over the deck, choosing a card from the middle, or where he thought the middle was.

Pulling out a card, he read its prompt out loud; “Name the most attractive feature about your partner”. As soon as the words were spoken, Sonic felt himself flush red, embarrassment mixing with the alcohol to form a soft panic in his head. “Chaos, sorry, I didn’t know this kind of question would be in there”.

“I mean, a red deck of cards, decorated with white hearts?” Shadow remarked, seemingly unbothered. Pointing out the obvious only deepened Sonic’s embarrassment, the hedgehog finding solace in sipping wine – it was the only thing hiding his face. “Most importantly, I think the fact that Amy got this for you is enough to categorize it as something rather ‘romantic’.”

Shadow’s voice was like velvet in his ears.

The hero had defeated gods, and yet this felt like his death, more than any other wound he’d received.

The tips of his ears burnt, stomach twisting in his flustered state. “Ha, yeah, she’s got a bit of a thing for me, doesn’t she?” he hoped it deflected from their current situation.

“You’d be a fool not to notice it.” He spoke, swirling around the red liquid in his now half-empty glass. “I can’t blame her, you know, you have a really charming smile.”

The compliment was like a brick to the face, it was sudden, unexpected – if Sonic had been drinking, he would’ve surely spat it all out.

A compliment was one thing, yes, but a compliment from Shadow, of all people? He didn’t think it possible.

“Thank you.” He mumbled as he downed the rest of his bitter drink, hoping the last few swigs would offer him the courage to flirt back, to say something. “For what it’s worth, you have a really nice smile too. I don’t think I’ve had the chance to see it, like, properly.” He was speaking a bit too fast, words slurring ever-so-slightly. “Yaknow, till today.” He placed his glass down. “So, yeah… thanks for that.”

It was messy, embarrassing, unlike him, and yet, Shadow did not flea (it wasn’t as though he could). Instead, he started laughing. A warm and rich sound, a pure one – if Sonic wasn’t there to witness it, he’d deny its existence. But, no, it was really happening. Shadow was throwing his head back in laughter, mirth tickling the air around him.

And the hero forgot what they’d just been discussing, unable to do anything but watch the scene unfolding before him.

It felt forbidden, private.

“So, I take it that’s my best feature then?” He spoke when his laughter died down, an uncharacteristic grin plastered on his face. His teeth were sharper than Sonic’s, and he had fangs, sticking out ever-so-slightly. It was almost as intoxicating as the wine.

“One hundred percent.” Sonic affirmed, feeling a mix of giddiness and carelessness brought by the blending of wine and pleasantries (some could say he was even developing a crush here; if asked, he’d deny it).

“Thank you.” It was sincere.

“And you’d say my best feature iiiissss?” He held his hand out to Shadow, silently urging him to finish the sentence.

“Well, you’ve already given me smile, I suppose it’d be cheap for me to say the same.” He took a big sip – there wasn’t much wine left. “I guess I’d have to say… your eyes.”

“My eyes?” He tilted his head in question.

“They are my favourite colour after all.” He noted, calling back to their earlier conversation.

And if Sonic hadn’t been blushing before, he certainly was now. With no wine glass to hide his embarrassment, he pretended to look elsewhere, feeling that newly familiar burn tickle every inch of his body.

There was silence for a few moments, but for the first time, it did not feel awkward. It was still heavy, yes, but it was somehow comfortable, and perhaps it could even be described as pleasant?

The next thing Sonic felt was a hand upon his chin, pulling him back towards the other. He felt his ears pinning back, unable to hide his flushed state any longer.

Shadow held his chin firmly in between his gloved fingers, gently coercing him to gaze at him, and only him.

The air was hot, their heavy breaths stained with the cheap alcohol they’d hastily consumed.

Before they knew it, they’d leaned into each other – stained lips pressed gently to one another, in a softness that spoke of firsts.

Sonic had felt fear, excitement, elation, and yet, none of those emotions had elevated his heartbeat this much. He’d run faster than the wind, and still, his heart did not pump so fast.

In this moment, however, the hero could feel it thrum inside its cage harder than ever before, his blood rushing everywhere, to anywhere except is head.

Shadow’s grip was unwavering as he led them down a path of no return, deepening their kiss into something more sinful.

Sonic had barely known the existence of Shadow’s fangs, and yet here they were, nipping at his skin, gently scratching him in a way that made his head spin.

It was sloppy, unpracticed, yet so so delightful – they felt no remorse indulging each other in something so sweet, something seemingly forbidden.

It was only when the air wore thin that they split apart, foreheads connected as they caught their fleeting breaths. Hearts beating out of their cages, they kept at it, losing themselves in their new-found passion, drinking the other in, sharing the same air again and again until they were too tired to do so.

-

Laying on the carpet, their head spun with the low-quality wine and their sudden thirst for each other. As their eyelids began to feel heavier, they drifted towards a dreamless sleep, their hands interlaced, their shoulders touching.

The bottle of wine now sat empty; their dirtied glasses discarded along with the card game. It was a miracle they hadn’t stained the carpet.

And when morning came, when a white sun and a snow covered land greeted them, and a small headache clawed at the back of their heads, they could not find it in themselves to regret their actions.

-

A/N

>so happy i could get this fic out on time omg. as always, any interaction is appreciated, and i'd love to hear yer thoughts!! (think of it as a present for me <3)

>have a lovely end of your year, and an even better start of a new one!