#woke clowns

[radykalny-feminizm]

I can't believe that gendies started to put disabled in their bios like it's just another woke label similar to gender identity. Suddenly almost every person with pronouns in bio have disabled there too. I'm sorry but having two brain cells doesn't count as disability. Y'all will do anything just to get some attention and it's disgusting

Just look at this lmaooo the jokes truly write themselves

[huyandere]

blue hair and pronouns

[pocketwei]

05.09.23 ⚔️

[jadewritesficshere]

Would you rather

Eddie Munson x Reader

Synopsis: Eddie asks you a question late in the night (<1k words)

Contains: reader is not gendered, hypothetical questions, discussions of sex and oral sex (there is a reference to messy sex, specifically spit, but only one line and not in detail), clowns

18+only

You're laying on your side staring at the wall when his voice pierces the quiet. "Are you awake?" Eddie whispers in the dark. It's almost 2am. The last remnants of weed in your system should have made it easy to fall asleep, but not tonight. You roll onto your back and look over at him," Yeah?"

Eddie shuffles in the bed closer to you," Got a question." Eddie's hand lightly touches your arm, taps it a few times as if to make sure you were there, before retreating. His hand lays next to you, close enough you can feel the warmth. "It's pretty serious." He mumbles.

You can feel your heart beat faster. A pretty serious question could mean anything. Maybe it's about the Upside Down, maybe about your future togeth-

"Would you rather be considered the world's best kisser but be terrible at sex, or be the best at sex but a terrible kisser?"

You pause for a moment.

"That's your question?" You shake your head smiling. The bed shifts as Eddie presses his face into his pillow as if to hide," Nevermind, it's dum-" "It's not dumb! I'm just thinking." Your hand grasps his, squeezing it lightly. "Do i have time to make a pros and cons list?"

"Gut instinct." Eddie pokes at your side and you slap his hand away. "Clarification, does oral count as sex or kissing?" "Hmm," Eddie's brow furrows," I mean it's called oral sex right? So that implies sex."

"Oh then a terrible kisser and good at sex. Good for you and me right? Besides, what's a terrible kiss? A lil messy? You like that-" "Okay shut up!" Eddie slaps you with his pillow causing you to chuckle. Eddie shakes his head before returning his pillow to where it was.

"Now you get to ask one." Eddie's fingers tap out a rhythm against your interlocked hand. You hum, thinking deeply,"Would you love me if I was a worm?" "Thats not a would you rather!" "Okay, would you love me if I was a worm rather then a human."

"That's not- that isn't," Eddie laughs," Okay sure, uh, are you a human sized worm or a regular worm?" "Worm sized." "Do you keep your ass?" You both giggle at the imagery.

"Imagine a worm with just a huge ass," you gasp out," Do worms even have asses?" You both continue to giggle quietly, the bed shaking slightly from your laughter.

"Yeah. I would still love you. I just wake up one day and you've turned into a worm? No, yeah of course I'd still love you. Then I'd go and find the witch that cursed you. I'd galavant through the trees, singing songs of your beauty and our love. Once I find the witch, I'd fall to my knees and beg for them to turn you back." Eddie rambles on, weaving a magical tale of adventure.

"Where am I in all this?" You ask kicking his shin lightly. Eddie traps your leg in his," In my pocket. I'll knit you a little blanket. Wrap it around you. Make you a lil bed and-" You gasp," Like Slimey?" "Like Slimey." Eddie agrees shifting closer to you.

Your eyes have adjusted well to the darkness. You can see his hair going every direction. His lips are slightly chapped but still kissable. His tank top has shifted, showing off a scandalous amount of skin, tattoos, sparse chest hair, and his nipple.

"Would you rather fuck a clown or a mime?" Eddie whispers. "I already fuck a clown i fuck you." You bite your lip to hold back your laughter

Eddie's shocked gasp has you that laughter escaping. "That's it! We're done!" Eddie jokingly pushes away from you as you protest with an "I'm kidding!".

You scoot closer, grasping onto his bicep. You kiss his cheek and continue to murmur apologies. Eddie sighs loudly as he wraps his arms around you. "Calling me a clown," Eddie makes a noise of disgust whilst shaking his head.

Your laughter settles as you gaze into Eddie's eyes. Your noses are almost touching. You can feel the warm exhale of his breath against your face. Eddie kisses you lightly before looking imploringly into your eyes," No, but which would you rather fuck?"

You pause a moment to think. A grin starts to spread across your face," All I can imagine is you go to grab a clown's ass and it just makes one of those squeaky horn noises." Eddie giggles and then mimicks the noise, lightly grabbing your ass.

For whatever reason, it sets you both off laughing. Maybe it's the imagery. Maybe it's the fact that it's 2 am and you both are sleep deprived. Maybe it's the fact you both feel safe and comfortable to be yourself around each other. Maybe it's the leftover weed in your systems.

"Imagine-" Eddie wheezes on a laugh," you go to remove the underwear and as you remove it- wheeze- more just keeps coming. Like those handkerchiefs that never end." The laughter in the room grows louder.

You can feel Eddie's body shake with laughter as he holds you close. Your eyes well up with tears as you imagine Eddie doing a sexy lil dance, removing a pair of underwear from under his skirt, and more keep coming as he said.

A banging on the door causes you both to jump. "Will you two shut up, some of us are trying to sleep!" Steve's grumpy, sleep-addled voice breaks through the silence. "Sorry!" Eddie calls bashful. "Waking me up...got an early shift...need my beauty sleep..fucking fools..." Steve mutters, footsteps sounding as he walks away.

"I think he means fucking clowns." You whisper in Eddie's ear. A fit of giggles fills the air again as you lay in each other's arms.

[isawthismeme]

What a buffoon. What does he think he’s doing?

[muzsmocsing]

TGCF headcanons to free up storage space in my brain

Some of these might go against canon but so does every same sex ship that isn't hualian so. Bear with me.

♥️ Hua Cheng is significantly lighter than he looks. The man weighs like two and a half twigs + whatever mountain of jewelry he has on that day. The only person who knows this is Xie Lian because no one else has had the audacity to try lifting a calamity.

♥️ Hua Cheng worked on his glowup so hard he forgot how to do casual. He pulls up to 7AM breakfast in complete ghost king regalia and a full beat.

♥️ Yin Yu is actually pretty content working for Hua Cheng most of the time. Sure, he's melodramatic the way only romantic era poets could afford to be but the pay is good and the lack of coworkers is a plus.

♥️ He Xuan on the other hand HATES IT. Being a spy is interesting work but after the 16th time he's had him describe Xie Lian's exact same outfit + hair + pretty smile + voice + general mood + if he seems lonely + if he's been eating well in excruciating detail he started contemplating if it's possible for a water demon to drown himself.

♥️ Xie Lian's straw hat is a spiritual device. It's the same one a man gave him before his second ascension, and it was such an emotionally charged moment the hat accidentally took on power. It doesn't do much but it's indestructible and waterproof.

♥️ Feng Xin has dimples.

♥️ Despite not having talked much, Shi Qingxuan considers Hua Cheng a good friend. She saw his true form for the first time and was like "Thank goodness I'm not the only one serving cunt here 🙏" and has been harassing him for his tailor's address since.

♥️ Pei Ming has had one (1) stable relationship that's stood the test of time, and that is his on and off friends with benefits deal with Shi Wudu. The man is already married to That Grind🔥💯 so there is zero pressure for him to get hitched, therefore he doesn't feel the need to run.

♥️ Shi Wudu is lowkey transphobic to Qingxuan sometimes all while looking like the most androgynous diva to ever exist. He wears blue eyeliner and acrylics. No he does not see the irony.

[breakingpengui1]

yonaka likes to be tall 🐈‍⬛

u can see lore of cross guild's adopted kitten in my past posts btw

[undead-knick-knack]

This is the butchest girl twitter can handle before they start getting scared

[evansbuck-ley]

but what does this all mean???? are we back??? are we getting slow burn bucktommy break up/make up ?????? are they just gonna slam the door in our face next week ??? WDYM ??!!??

[compacflt]

YOU'RE ALIVE??? - my reaction upon seeing your most recent reblog

Anyway, your fic and blog single-handedly kickstarted my U.S. military history obsession <3

im alive!!!! yeah I've been away for a while. it, ah... has not been a grrrreat time to be a military historian or a Big Fan of military propaganda pieces like Top Gun for the last year or so...

lmfao I just saw that the second trump admin plans to haul up all the commanders in charge of the Afghanistan withdrawal (which HE negotiated btw) in front of congress with the plan to charge them all with TREASON per the UCMJ (good fucking luck dude)

but um in my timeline... that includes navy secretary 2021-2022 tom iceman kazansky, bro... so in case you're wondering what these characters are up to in the present day apparently the answer is "getting investigated for treason." sorry to bring down the mood. my happy ending's a little sour now.

mostly I've been insanely busy. I graduate university in may & have to have a journalism capstone, an English research thesis (my paper on military commanding officers in fiction inspired by my top gun fics tbh) and a creative writing capstone (novel) done by march. plus job applications, work for the place where im currently freelancing, apartment hunting... so im a wee bit crunched lately.

some minor updates for anyone who still cares: I am, extremely slowly, still editing WWGATTAI & the other stories. I've finished a complete overhaul of the Carole-dies chapter, chapter 7, but have yet to post it because I'd like to sync a logistical change in the story across the other pieces. and I'm mostly done with a COMPLETE overhaul of chapter 6 (aka "the nineties" chapter where ice & mav move in together & build their family) which goes into much more detail about how... emotionally and logistically... they could pull that off. + a lot more baseball stuff + the Clinton sex scandal. which leaves just chapter 10 left to do. ugh, my least favorite, which is why im putting it off... and then debriefing etc. which won't take as long because I don't honestly care about debriefing at all and I just have very minor changes to make to it. slider doesn't need editing and idgaf about the other pieces.

once I finish with the edits, which will happen eventually I swear because more than anything I just want to hold the updated edited final thing in my hands the way I did with the first draft, I'll upload my pdf (with meta analysis and notes that go back to mid-2022) for u guys to do with as you wish

also for the m:i doubleheaders I am planning on editing my m:i fic pre-m:i8 next year and pending ilsa life status will write much much more

[meanqueens]

i think i just pinpointed yet another thing that struck (irked) me about the line “you’re wiser than i believed you to be alicent hightower” and that’s that it lowkey reeks of targ exceptionalism, like how could this dragonless girl without a drop of ““superior”” blood ever possibly be smarter than me, rhae/nys, the most specialist special to ever special???

[introspectivememories]

cannot stop thinking about loguetown shuggy and im not talking post-execution shuggy. loguetown shuggy as in the two-year gap between reaching raftel and roger's execution. like that was it!!! that was the universe giving their chance to be together!!! to get it right!!!! except they were what? 14? 15? so of course they got it wrong!!!! of course they fucked it up, and now they've spent decades apart and buggy's got a good thing going with crocodile and mihawk and shanks is finally ready to claim the one piece or whatever and the last time they properly talked was at their captain's son's execution. funny how the only thing that seems to bring them together is death

[beanghostprincess]

Adding on to generalized chronic pain issues, specifically Devil fruit users-

The human body is about 60% water.

There's water in bone too, sorry Brook, no saving yourself there.

DF users have to keep up on hydration, but what if their inability to tolerate water includes ANY kind of water.

Luffy v Crocodile last fight in Alabasta, fighting with his blood - it affected him.

Tears? Big impacts.

Humidity? Rain? Storms? The affects are relatively minor but they are Still There. Most DF users, after an overexposure to water/rain/heavy humidity, will at best have a slight headache. At worst? Those old wives tales of staying out in the rain leading to sickness are REAL.

With my Buggy obsession, I am leaning heavily into impacts to him and those around him. So Buggy's immune system is WACKED out, both bc hus nervous system never quite got with the program of his powers and genetic predisposition. It's one of the reasons he got sick just before Laugh Tale. Fevers weren't uncommon for him AT ALL which is why none of the other Rogers were very concerned.

Shanks, though? He knew. He and Buggy had a whole ass SYSTEM for dealing with it. ((A system he drunkenly regaled Mihawk with often enough for the swordsman to have it committed to memory.))

Buggy studies medicine a bit, and so any Devil fruit users on Karai Bari have a specialty medicine made specifically with their abilities, biology, etc, in mind - including Crocodile. He doesn't let them suffer alone, bc he knows how it is and he refuses to let any of HIS be subjected to that.

Buggy just also doesn't reach out himself when he isn't doing well - enter Mihawk being like "Hello, I - stop screaming - I brought you your tea. Shanks waxed poetic about your teas for hours. Yes, I am aware of the time. No, I do not care that you are under dressed. Lay back down. I brought medicine for your headache."

Cue goth swordsman awkwardly going through the motions of caring for a sick, needy but very hesitant clown. And eventually he even finds the other... rather cute, all sleepy and smiling and soft spoken.

Gross.

Crocodile eventually catches on and swings by, intending to bully Buggy a bit, but then he ALSO get charmed and reminded of the balms for his scars, the specialty drinks Buggy had made for him, and he just... can't.

It becomes p normal when Karai Bari has a higher humidity level or rain incoming for even the regular, standard officers to remind the DF users among them to take it easy, not push it, and it's silly and over the top bc they can't he expected to do anything less.

((Bonus silly idea, Buggy is out helping with muscle work before a big storm hits, even the typical human mercs can feel the moisture in the air, and one dude just. Scoops Buggy up, all sunshine smiles like "let us handle this, Chairman Buggy! Someone as incredibly kind and courageous as yourself can rest easy with us here!"

Buggy is both flattered, offended and flustered in one go. Flattered bc "oh they DO care...", offended bc this guy did NOT just baby him did he???, and flustered bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaBeingHeldHELP?????

Croc would either choke on his cigar or just scoop buggy up from the other guy like "i got this, carry on"

Mihawk thought would probably shatter his wine glass, expressionless, and grab n go.

No they are NOT jealous, no they did NOT think the blush was cute on their clown- THE CLOWN, no, everyone shut up, the rain is getting to their heads, fuck off.))

This is awesome. The whole concept about DF users being affected by regular water too is great because it just adds more angst to the whole thing and it becomes more of a risk to eat the fruits. Gonna skip directly to the Cross Guild thing and say that I am SO soft and weak for Croc and Mihawk to end up smitten by Buggy somehow when they weren't planning on it. And they're so protective and take care of him and,,,, That's their boyfriend idc idc idc.

[clownboyskingdom]

So. So so sick today. Here’s a video of our resident pine marten getting freed from the dumpster after accidentally getting locked in

[isawthismeme]

[poisonousquinzel]

I think one of my least favorite things that I've seen pop up here and there through her appearances is her like accidentally snitching cause she's, idk, stupid ig?

was looking at this moment from Batman: Gotham Adventures #53 and I just hate it 😔 and i'm gonna fist fight that clown man i stg