#without buying anything

[alongtidesoflight]

.

[necroticghost]

im so fucking useless

[sergle]

there is something so quintessentially modern about learning about fiberglass filler in mattresses from tumblr dot come and ruining my bedtime by:

Finding nothing substantial on my mattress label.

Frantically scouring the internet for more information and the mattress website is all sof t blues and greens and smiling heterosexual couple and has a bullet point list with

+made without formaldehyde❤️✨️ +made without mercury or lead🥰💖 +low emission (???)🤩💗💯 and only under a company run blog "home sweet foam" do they say

❤️yes❤️ we do use fiberglass💅💖🌟 (gobbernment told us we cant use asbestos anymore😢😔)

[tmos-time]

the domestic life scenarios these two get into when my brain isnt occupied can get so silly

[skadream]

finally cropped and cut the sleeves off this lol

shirt by @grlofswords ofc ^_^

[betapopish]

i think about him a lot

[aviolettrose]

I feel like, if Jason was ever de-aged, Bruce wouldn't leave his side and be the best dad ever for him (he sees it as a second chance)

[dxxtruction]

Something to just consider is that Armand is a collectivist. Culturally I think this makes sense, considering he would've been raised in his foundational years in that sort of culture that values collectivism over individualism. He's also had to live in several high control environments afterwards, which demanded servitude, where putting himself first would've led to trouble, up to and including death. In the Children of Darkness, for example, the very idea of seeking pleasure at all is against the commandments, and since he is forced to lead this group (under careful surveillance), he can not therefore show if he even wishes to seek pleasure, because this would disrupt the collective thought, and further, place a level of threat upon himself for disobeying the laws he's meant to be upholding. He's at threat that he can be killed for it, because that's how such laws are handled. So he necessarily can not hold an individualistic, self serving, opinion, and hope to live, and lived in that kind of envoirment for centuries. Even the TdV carries on the same sort of traditions to less strict, more secular, degrees. Seeking pleasure in TdV is rewarded, even exhaulted, but the great laws are still imposed to the level of threat which is death, and everyone is always surveilling each other on this matter. He's a collectivist, especially in situations which impose certain, or uncertain threat of violence, for going against the group, or person, as in such a situation being individualistic is perhaps the last thing you may get to ever do. Nothing personally driven, therefore, seems that worth it provided the risk.

Whether he remembers this earliest period of childhood, or not, those sorts of values (likely positive then as things like sharing, community building, reaching mutually beneficial decisions, aid, and consideration of others feelings). Ingrained into his personality, and he doesn't have the kind of amnesia where it appears his personality was fundamentally changed by it. Rather, that since it's more of a dissociative amnesia barrier protecting him from traumas, that his personality would rather be fragmented, as opposed to altered. (Meaning such values are still there, but are now also acting alongside various further alteration to what is means to be in collective. And that if such amnesiac parts ever do surface, it is only reacting as if it is re-experiencing, and in the same context to the trauma. Depending on how complex this part is it could take on further environmental inputs while in this state, developing or simply having, essentially, its own personality... but I digress).

He does things for the group, which can at times only be one person, more-so than he serves himself. Placing what serves situation and context more highly that individual personal traits and feelings. But, by thinking he has no self, he naturally falls to self justifying everything wrongful he personally does, as for the benefit of the group. It's a cognitive distortion which doesn't recognize it's own selfishness because it sees itself as being selfless regardless of actual outcome. Further, this makes it so he takes no responsibility for others actions he may have caused, or to how a situation came about because of himself, if he doesn't then apply having any self to that situation. He'll bend to opinion even if its false, and create or even take on an entire role of falsehood, if he believes it serves a mutual benefit.

He uses this as a kind of shield against the world he must fundamentally view as threatening, and imposing, with very limited spaces of safety. But doesn't impose himself in healthy ways, therefore becomes an enabler of certain toxic behaviors getting out of hand, and creating unsafe environments. Desiring such places being controlled, and predictable, environments, but not fostering what's needed for that, and certainly not in a healthy way. Rather lending to manipulating others, or using threats, or force, to make it so he's secure in this. Again, self justifying that it's for a collectivist benefit. If he does at all recognize his own selfishness it's due to how he's able to come out of his own cognitive distortions, and dissonance, and admit faults and failings. Seeing that hiding his own faults and failings from others is something selfish, and therefore that he does indeed have a self there. In doing so, developing an understanding that he acts as a self in all things, and therefore understanding the effects of his actions are actually his. (Or else falling right back into the distortions). He has to be selfish, in a way, to ever be truly selfless. If that's really his goal.

To want something for itself, as opposed to some other means. To want good, love, and safety, for itself as opposed to what it does. He has to develop a sense of his own idea of these things, in order to form a consistent and more secure identity, not founded or attached to a group or person. And further needs whatever self that is, to be embraced, by himself, and not insecure in how others would react to it. To not be afraid of this self expression and personal desire, thought, opinion, feeling, and so on. By developing his own person he'd be able to better embrace his own bad qualities, even change them. As he then feels he has such agency, and isn't just simply reacting and serving to the world around him. I think there's something in how he changes Daniel which says he is moving in sort of this direction, there's something in how it appears he's roaming around on his own right now that suggests he is on a journey of this sort. I'm not expecting greatness out of it, but I am thinking there will be progress for present day Armand in future seasons. I think he is capable of change, and is not fundamentally as he appears. (And this would align to his narrative arc in the books anyway.)

And just also like I don’t think he knows entirely where the boundaries of anything really are or should be. Between himself and others or like where right begins and wrong ends and so forth. Not a moment in his memorable life, mortal or immortal, hasn't been without the presence of vampires, and therefore conditioned more under vampiric understandings as opposed to human ones. And because he's disconsidering of self, and hasn’t exactly been modeled what these should be, he's not able to function sanely in his environment. He's not sane I think I can say. But I do think he’s someone who learns experientially, and can do that on his own, so where those must lie he’s not in total lack of awareness either.

[agerasiaa]

Drew buys all his friends material stuff because he doesn't know how else to show attachment, and he doesn't want them to leave him. Some people say he shows off his money because he's self-centered, and yeah, he is, but he also buys his friends gacha switches and laptops just so they can play on them with him. Deep inside he's probably scared people would leave him if he couldn't give them something. That boy screams abandonment issues. (Past reveal when fr - my money is on the parents.)

And I remember this, and then I think of the episode where Jake was willing to give the laptop Drew bought him as soon as he remembered he even had it. It's also easy to sympathize with Jake in this situation: he had finally found people he related to, was desperate for their approval and getting them to accept him, and he definitely has people-pleasing tendencies too.

But he had also known Sean for like a week or two at this point and had been Drew's friend for years. He was so willing to give his laptop away just like that.  One of those material gifts Drew gave him as a show of attachment. This really shows Jake never tried to understand Drew, and Drew never tried to understand him. They are so tragic like wtf.

[wayward-wren]

Clothing stores bring back colour that isn't black, white, gray or beige challenge

[catocappuccino]

It's been a year since I redrew that one Snorkmimi render...

So yeah I did it again ofc I would, why oh why wouldn't I? Tee hee silly meee

Attaching the 2023 redraw and og cause- uh- I donno, because yes, why not!!!

[justmenoworries]

This is gonna sound beyond weird, and it's gonna be egg on my face if the show doesn't go in the direction that I think it will with Vox but...

Is it just me or are there several paralells between Vox and Angel?

[kickbutts-singsongs]

Okay but why did they never have any holiday themed POI episodes?

More specifically, how come they never had a Halloween episode and played “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell in the background?

[skunkes]

im not going to lie to u i hate change and have always been incapable of having goals on where to live within my own state much less a completely different one but 26 years of this horrible weather that only gets worse has me semi considering moving out of texas. Somewhat.

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, attachment to sex rather than gender as a social construction won't create a utopia without the subjugation of one's presentation, background, or experience from existing. Recognizing that sex and gender are both socially constructed and while they sometimes inform one another, they won't always, and that trans people absolutely can attest to this and are integral to making change for a better world are insurmountably important. If your desire for a "better world" coincidentally doesn't include us, what you desire isn't a better world where people are free - it is subjugation by a different name.

[laur-rants]

My Print Store is now OPEN!

Store Link

With new prices for 2024, as well as new prints! I will be adding to this store as the year goes on, as I hope to add more original work to the store as I complete it! Things you can look forward to this year:

Fanart illustrations Digital illustrations Linocut prints Woodblock prints (!!) Original Painting prints

And more!

Shipping is currently only in North America; I will be adding international shipping in a few months, if only to examine pricing and what to expect over time. These are also not going through a drop-ship site, but instead my own website, so please give a few weeks for processing! I have to print some of these by hand, you know.

Thank you for supporting my work, and I hope to bring more to everyone very soon!