#with zero mention in ANY of this about trans men

[local-magpie]

ok well i accidentally just read the whole Thirsty Sword Lesbians book. i like what the system is doing but i gotta admit i probably would be way more comfortable with it if i hadnt actually read all of the non-system bits. i get the very strong suspicion that the author and i would not get along

[cephalon-celaeno]

update i REALLY didn’t like this quest. it’s just that usually i consider warframe to be a game with extremely competent writing and this is… hmm. not.

huh! I already knew I wouldn’t like this quest so my opinion doesn’t count but I don’t like this quest!

[averagewriter-inthedark]

It’s Been A Long, Long Time 🥀 P.2 | Fallout AU

Masterlists | Part 1

Characters & Pairings: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x super soldier!reader (eventual romance), reader x male!oc (past romance), reader x Chester Phillips (past romance), Lucy Maclean (platonic)

Content warnings: Fallout x Marvel AU, profanity, major angst, fighting mentions of death, violence, war, age gap (reader is physically in her 40s, Cooper in his 50s, but they are both hundreds of years old), detailed description of a panic attack, cannon divergence, suggestive themes, strangers/enemies-to-friends-to-lovers | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 6.7k

Premise: Having stumbled into an abandoned bunker that belonged to an agency dating back to the Second World War, Cooper and Lucy find themselves face-to-face with a woman of historical significance after accidently defrosting her cryogenic state. And when the horrifying truth is revealed, Cooper and Lucy rely on their expertise to combat a super soldier from killing them before the day is over.

Note: yeah this was intense and just full of angst I'm sorry, I promise in the next one there will be fluff!

-----------------------------------------

“Who the hell are you people?”

What exactly does one do when faced with a 345-year-old super soldier from World War II awakens from their frozen slumber. Face the truth? Or make a run for it? Honestly the pair were not sure. 

It was as if they were in the arctic circle with how the temperature dropped to below zero at that very moment. The silence so thick a knife could cut through. Suffocating to the point Lucy swallowed her saliva quite loudly just to break it. Her stance frozen under the now conscious super soldier’s gaze. A scrutinizing one enough to have even the strongest men running for the hills. 

Cooper had yet to rise from the chair, keeping a steady hand over his pistol while his back remained towards their guest. Although he felt her eyes on the back of his head, penetrating his skull. 

“Do not make me ask again,” Behind her strong Trans-Atlantic accent--sounding the exact same as it did on the tapes--Y/n’s tone was a mix of fear and anger. Lucy felt the chills run down her spine. “Who. Are. You?”

Lucy peered to Cooper, whose expression read, ‘answer her’. Clearing her throat, Lucy attempted to introduce herself but it all came out as a stutter. “Uhh-um, hello!” she winced, noticing Y/n take a more defensive stance, eyeing her appearance. “My name is Lucy--Lucy MacLean. And this is my….associate, Cooper Howard,” her hand lifted up, gesturing to Cooper who gave her an annoyed look, Y/n watching each move intently. She had yet to see the cowboy’s face. “We’re so sorry for waking you up! We came across this bunker and--.”

“MacLean,” Cooper warned, shutting Lucy up. The girl put her hand down and bit her lip, “Um, we are….we--.” This time Y/n cut her off.

“Where’s Peggy?” Her eyes searched the room, face paling as it hit her where she was. “And Chester? Howard….I need--I need to find them. I need to warn them!” She made a move to run and that’s when Cooper rose from his chair, pistol in hand and spinning to face the super soldier for the first time. 

It was like Y/n had stepped out of the TV. Donned in her black suit, the image of an eagle splayed across her chest. Shiny plates of metal on her arms that reflected light. Tactical boots and artillery belt, though she lacked any weapons. Whoever placed her in the pod must’ve stripped her of any means to defend herself if she woke. 

Like she’d really need a gun or knife. Her best weapon was the serum coursing through her veins. 

And unfortunately, Cooper was about to experience that.

The second their eyes met Y/n’s reaction was full of horror. But not for the reason Cooper believed, no. Poor Cooper was being mistaken for an old enemy, which unlucky for him, he resembled quite closely. Except he lacked the color red.

In a flash the desk was lifted off the ground, flinging in Cooper’s direction causing him to duck and cover while it met the chair. Lucy shrieked, hand cupping her mouth as the loud sound echoed off the walls. Y/n made a break for it then, running while Cooper hauled himself up to follow.

“Cooper, wait--!” 

As he entered the long and dim hallway Cooper raced toward the end where the main lobby was. He hadn’t heard the elevator shaft open, nor the echoing sound of it ascending to the surface, prompting the cowboy to draw his pistol. Coming to a halt, Cooper shifted his approach by deciding to slowly inch his way to the lobby. Believing Y/n lying in wait for another attack. So each time he got to a room Cooper staked it out. Clearing it before moving to the next. 

Lucy struggled to keep her cool, breathing heavily as she trailed closely behind Cooper. Aiming her tranquilizer gun in hopes of immobilizing Y/n but worried it’d do nothing like it did the Ghoul. Maybe it’ll at least slow her down. Giving them the chance to explain so she won’t kill them. 

As each room cleared Cooper’s grip tightened. Betting Y/n was waiting for him in the lobby. And right he was. 

The second his body was in view, Y/n shot out from the side giving no time for Cooper to react. Gun kicked from his hand, Cooper grunted as he was pushed into the wall, a crack in the drywall from the impact. Shoving Y/n off rather harshly, she stumbled back but recovered in time to dodge Cooper’s fist. Shooting her hand out to grab and redirect his arm, maneuvering her body behind his to kick the back of his knees and bring him to the floor. 

‘Damn that super soldier serum was no joke,’ Coop couldn’t help but think. Arm raising to dodge another attack before extending his foot to kick Y/n in the gut. 

“Please, if we can just explain!” Lucy shouted, pointing her gun frantically to get a clear shot, but struggled with how fast they were moving. Not wanting to accidentally hit Cooper and waste the drugs. “We only want to help you!”

They fought for what felt like hours but really it was less than five minutes. The adrenaline high, both soldiers feeding off each other. Cooper’s hat flying off, Y/n’s styled hair losing its curl. Creating a wild mane around her shoulders. Lucy was almost mesmerized. Their moves are sharp and quick, inflicting damage on the other and not holding back. Y/n was fast, giving Cooper no time to breathe as she laid punch after punch and kicks. Cooper was more robust, attempting to slow her down by constantly throwing her into a wall or onto furniture. They were in a deadly dance, two former soldiers 

Lucy’s jaw dropped as Cooper was brought to the floor when Y/n attacked him from behind, hooking her legs over his head and switching her upper body from under his right side to his left side in which she unhooked her legs and flipped him onto his back. So fast it competed with the speed of light. “Holy moly!” 

“Fuck,” Cooper coughed, wide-eyed as he looked up to Y/n barely breaking a sweat. A chill down his spine by the fury behind her gaze. He recognized it, recalling the time he fought the Reds in Alaska. She no longer was a woman in front of him, but a soldier. 

He braced himself for her next attack, but before she could unleash it the soldier let out an ‘ah!’, glancing over to find a tranq lodged into her shoulder blade. 

“Clever girl,” Y/n yanked it out, but the damage was done. The vial emptied the drug into her bloodstream, already beginning to take effect. Y/n stumbled, leaning onto the wall closest to her for support. “Hate to tell you though, that won’t knock me out.” her words slurred, making her appear in a drunken state. 

Cooper sat up, catching his breath as he eyed her, “But it’ll sure as hell slow ya down.” Grunting, he brought himself to his knees, using the broken desk to lift the rest of his body up. He was sore, and in desperate need of a drink. Limping to recover his hat and gun, keeping the weapon in his hand. Although he knew he wouldn’t need to use it. Y/n was incapacitated, wobbling with each step and having to hold onto the wall or filing cabinet to keep steady.

“You….” she slurred, eyes dazy as she squinted at Cooper. “The Red….Skull.” 

“I beg yer’ pardon?” he exhaled, staring back with confusion. Did she just call him the Red Skull? He picked at his brain for any recollection of that name. Siphoning through his days in basic and the countless files they racked through. “I have no idea who you’re talkin’ bout.”

“I do!” Lucy shouted, stepping closer to the two who were now several feet apart instead of lollygagging by the entrance of the hall. “I saw the file earlier--the Red Skull, you say?” Y/n nodded, willing herself to find the strength and hope the serum was close to wearing off the drug. “The Red Skull was the leader of Hydra. Who you fought against in the war, correct.” Again she nodded and Lucy realized what the soldier was likely thinking. Letting out a gasp as she raced to where she had discarded the file and opened it to reveal the picture of the man in question. 

Removing it from the paper clip, Lucy held it up, “This man,” she pointed with her free hand first, then to Cooper, “this is who you think he is.” Based on the photo, Lucy understood why the soldier mistook the man as the one she once spent years fighting. The most striking detail being they both had withered skin and lacked a nose. Lucy remembered in her history books the Red Skull got his name due to his blood red complexion. A result of injecting himself with the first attempt at the super soldier serum, unaware of what effects it would have.

But the Red Skull vanished the same day as Steve Rogers. No records indicating where he went. Decades without any new leads and so Shield labeled him to be dead or in hiding. 

The way Y/n’s eyes darted from the photo to Cooper confirmed Lucy’s suspicions. Along with how her face shifted to disdain and then to confusion. Like she too was starting to question her judgment. 

Lucy passed the photo to Cooper, then lifted her hand to Y/n to show she meant no harm. “He’s not the Red Skull,” her voice was gentle, like when one speaks to a child, but also guarded. “I swear to you, Dr. Andrews, this man is not who you think he is. Yes, they look alike--which is an unfortunate coincidence,” Lucy nervously chuckled, aware of Cooper’s glare, “but I can assure you he is not him.”

Y/n didn’t look convinced. “If he’s not the Red Skull, then why--why does he look like him? What is he?” 

Lucy shifted her stance, scratching the back of her neck and giving Cooper an apologetic look. “He’s what you would call a ghoul.”

“A ghoul,” the word was foreign to the soldier, prompting her to ask, “What the hell is a ghoul.” This time Cooper was the one to answer. 

“I’m your future, Birdie,” the nickname was obviously in reference to her superhero alias, the Eagle. “Once you track that wasteland full of radiation you know so much about, you’ll be just like me if you give it time.” 

Y/n’s blood froze, a horrible feeling igniting in her stomach, “What are you talking about?” Wasteland? Radiation? Immediately her mind went to what America was dealing with their former ally turned opponent. 

The Arms Race, did it happen? How much did she miss? Oh God, her family…..

Lucy’s face fell, “Ma’am, there’s something you need to know--.” 

“Vaultie….”

“You’re the one who said something!” she pointed out, causing him to roll his eyes. “We need to tell her, Cooper, it’s the right thing to do!” she defended, pleading with him as she gestured to Y/n’s state. “We can’t just leave her here, and if she goes to the surface she’ll be clueless.”

“It’s not our problem, MacLean,” his words were sharp. Holstering the pistol before adjusting his duster, ignoring Lucy’s appalled expression. “Better we leave her here and figure it out for herself. Not like she can help us with where wer’ goin’.” 

Scoffing, Lucy narrowed her eyes. Disgusted with his apathy and lack of consideration for Y/n’s situation. “Put yourself in her shoes, Cooper. Also in case you forgot, we woke her up. We can at least give her the respect she deserves, by telling her what happened.” Before he could reply, Y/n beat him to it. 

“What do you…you mean--what happened?” her tone was still jumbled, jaw tightened and gripping the edge of the desk like her life depended on it. After what Cooper said and Lucy’s implication, Y/n feared the worst. She was slowly coming to, blurred vision starting to clear. “Where’s Chester…take me to him, now!” 

Cooper glanced at Lucy, begging him with her eyes, and he let out a gumbled sigh. Pushing a chair, not destroyed in their tossle, in Y/n’s direction, “Better for ya to take a seat, Birdie.” A moment passed, Y/n eyeing the chair before yanking it back and falling into it. 

“Start talking. I won’t ask a second time. Whatever drug you stunned me with won’t last long and I demand to know what’s going on.”

Clicking his tongue against his teeth, Cooper turned to Lucy, “Well, valutie, you wanna do the honors. Or have me rip the band-aid off--and It won’t be gentle I can tell ya that.” 

Biting her lip, Lucy felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she gathered her words. “Ma’am, Dr. Andrews,” she corrected, nodding her head in respect. “What is the last thing you remember?” Upon Cooper’s reaction to the question, Lucy panned him a look reading, ‘Trust me.’

Y/n’s eyebrows narrowed, blinking twice before answering, “I was in the computer room. Trying to find evidence that Zola--.” She cut herself off, swallowing. Remembering these were strangers and were working for God knows who. “I won’t say another word until I know who exactly you two are. Or you tell me where Peggy and Chester are!!”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Cooper tipped his hat up, ignoring Lucy’s warning.

“Cooper, please--.”

“Look, there’s no easy way of sayin’ it and frankly we don’t got the fuckin’ time to waste. So I’ll keep it simple by asking you this instead; What year do you think it is, Doctor?”

“1951,” there was no hesitation. Spoken with confidence. 

Lucy let out a choked sound, and Cooper rubbed his jaw. Preparing himself to give the harsh truth, and worried of what outcome laid ahead. Meanwhile Y/n took in their reactions, causing anxiety to rise as she began to feel the air shift. Something wasn’t right, her intuition screamed at her. 

“What?” she demanded. “How long--how long was I out?”

Cooper dropped his head, unable to meet her eyes, “Y/n, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” bad was putting it lightly, “but you’ve been asleep for 345 years.”

The only noise that followed the revelation was Y/n’s sharp inhale. Like all the air had been sucked out of her, and she was now drowning by the way her lungs tightened. Throat closing, head spinning as it processed what Cooper said. 

345 years…. 

A piercing sound filled her ears, while any other noise turned muffled. “What?” Voice cracking, Y/n shook her head in denial. Refusing to accept it. “No. No, you’re lying to me. You--you’re Hydra and trying to manipulate me.” 

“We’re not Hydra, Y/n,” Cooper’s gentle tone shocked even him. But he couldn’t help it for he felt sorry for the woman. Not wanting to imagine what was running through her head. 

Her denial turned to anger, “I don’t believe you! It can’t be--I couldn’t have been asleep for three centuries,” her voice cracked again, the emotion billing up in her throat. “That is not possible!” She stood up hastily, but the drugs had yet to wear off and so she lost her balance, the room spinning and fell back into the chair with a grunt. 

Lucy made a move to help her but was stopped by Cooper. Pushing her to the side while he approached Y/n, kneeling so he was level. “I know this is hard, and I reckon you gonna be angry for God knows how long,” he leaned closer to her, noting how white her knuckles were from gripping the armrest. 

“Stop it--.”

“But it’s the cold, hard truth.”

“I don’t want to hear it!” 

“It’s 2296!” He stunned her into silence, another choked gasp leaving her. Y/n’s mouth agape, staring at him with devastation, and Cooper let out a tired sigh. “Whoever put ya in that pod is long gone. The people you’re asking for,” he referred to Peggy, Howard, and Chester, “ther’ long gone too. Everyone you know has been dead for centuries, Y/n,” a pained whimper escaped, the soldier starting to break. Cooper went on, voice lowering, “You’ve awoken to a whole new world, Doc. One you ain’t gonna fuckin’ like at all, but it’s ya new reality. 1951,” he paused before giving the final blow, “was a lifetime ago.” 

Y/n’s bottom lip quivered, water filling her vision as she fought to keep the tears at bay while the words sank in. She’d always been good at reading people. Picking up body language and cues to tell when one’s lying. But mostly, she could tell in their eyes. For the eyes were the window into one’s soul. 

And right now, the little voice in the back of her head knew he was telling the truth. Still, she shook her head and held on to the small ounce of hope. Her heart barely held on by a thread. “No,” her tone was now pleading, and it actually made Cooper’s heart break just a bit. Seeing the strong woman who fought against Nazis and stood before politicians reduced to a fragile state. “I don’t--I need proof.” Actually having proof would confirm her worst fear, but what good was it to remain in denial. “Prove to me what you say is true!”

Cooper peered up at Lucy, who appeared apprehensive, likely knowing what he was about to suggest. He only gave her a stern look, “You know it’s the only option.”

“But--.”

“There’s nothin’ in this Goddamn bunker that can help prove to our new friend here--,” That was a far reach to call Y/n a friend. She’ll view them as anything but once they take her outside. “That the last 350 years have come and gone.” Y/n looked like she wanted to kill him, not liking the way he spoke of her unfortunate fate. “We take her to the surface, so she can see for herself.” 

Cooper stood up straight, extending his hand to the soldier who eyed it wearily before accepting it, letting him pull off the chair. She maintained her balance this time, the room not spinning as much but senses still disoriented. Only this time it wasn’t the drugs but the overwhelming anxiety consuming her. She let him lead her to the elevator shaft, opening the gate and stepping in. Y/n second and Lucy third. 

The journey up Y/n wanted to vomit, hands beginning to shake. Mind going a million miles per second. Unable to think of a single thing, so she distracted herself from the inevitable by assessing Lucy’s attire. 

“What’s with the suit?”

“Huh?” Lucy turned with surprise. 

Y/n gave her a once over, taking in the stained blue and yellow suit that appeared like it was made of rubber or leather. Kind of like her own tactical suit. “Your suit? What’s the meaning of it?”

Lucy’s mouth formed in an ‘o’ shape, “Oh! Uh, it’s my vault suit. We were obligated to wear them in the vaults--or fallout shelters if you wanna be technical.” 

“Fallout shelters,” Y/n wondered aloud. “I don’t understand.” 

“The um,” Lucy awkwardly cleared her throat, not sure how to say the next speck of reality Y/n had to face. She looked to Cooper for help but his attention was on the gate. She gulped, “The vaults are underground shelters, built to withstand a nuclear attack on the surface. When the bombs dropped those who had a place in the vaults continued life underground, while those on the surface were left for themselves.”

Once again, the world around her stilled. 

“The bombs?” Y/n paled, stomach churning once more. Before she could ask further, the elevator shook as it reached the top. Y/n’s hand reached for Cooper’s shoulder to steady herself, quickly removing it once she did. Not meeting his gaze when she caught him staring at her from her peripheral. 

Hand on the latch, Cooper glanced over his shoulder at Y/n, his expression dour, “Now, before I open this, I need yer’ word you ain’t gonna do anything rash. ‘Cause if ya do,” he pulled his duster aside to reveal his pistol, “I won’t fuckin’ hesitate this time. Understood?”

She held back the urge to say something cutting. Not one to take orders from a stranger, but he had the advantage. Plus Y/n was already fighting back a panic attack, dread rising from her stomach to her chest until it lodged in her throat. Heartbeat picking up. 

“I-I won’t,” she promised, face tightening to the point it hurt. “You have my word.”

Exhaling, Cooper bidded Lucy a warning look until he finally yanked the gate wide open. Sunlight filled the space, the bright light causing Y/n to snap her eyes shut. Raising a hand, she slowly stepped forward, feeling Cooper reach for her forearm to guide her off the shaft. Sand crunched beneath her boots. Sending Y/n’s heart into racing mode as she began to open her eyes, shielding them with her hand until they got used to the blinding light. 

When her vision focused, a wretched sound escaped her mouth, hand falling to cover it as she took in the sight before her. Instead of paved roads she was met with dry, sandy hills. Remnants of buildings she once worked. Destroyed and reduced to ash. Only their iron skeletons remained. Billboards she didn’t recognize, one reading Nuka-Cola and another prompting a company called Vault-Tec. That must’ve been linked to what Lucy was talking about. 

Y/n’s hands went to her stomach, fighting to stay upright as she let out choked breaths. “Oh--Oh God,” she croaked, the truth finally hitting her. She hadn’t accepted it in the bunker, but seeing it firsthand brought a whole new level of anguish Y/n hadn’t experienced since her husband died. Even when Steve got lost in the Atlantic Y/n grieved, but not to the point she felt like she’d actually die. 

This, however, had the potential to kill her. 

Pins and needles pricked her hands, and sweat beaded on her hairline. Y/n’s throat tightening, chest pounding so hard it hurt. Then her whole body began to shake. The churning in her stomach finally snapping, migrating up until it released causing Y/n to hunch forward. Lucy grimaced from the side watching Y/n puke her guts out. Meanwhile Cooper only kept his head down, hands perched on his hips as he listened to the sounds Y/n’s emitted slowly turn into full blown sobs. 

Lucy felt her own tears form, the scene too emotional to bear. Y/n sounded like she was being tortured. Her cries so loud they echoed against the silent wasteland. “No,” she wailed, “No, no, no!!” Knees falling to the sand, Y/n curled herself into the sand. Not caring that it got in her face and hair. Her sobs were pretty much screams of agony, the tears flowing like waterfalls down her cheeks. 

“My babies,” Cooper heard, resulting in him glancing up at the sky, willing himself to hold it together. If there was one thing the cowboy could relate to Y/n now more than ever, was the feeling of a parent losing their child. Children, in her case. “No, my babies,” she broke again, as another excruciating scream tore through her. At that point Lucy couldn’t even contain her own emotion. Tears leaking from her eyes she furiously wiped away, wincing as Y/n screams became choking sounds, head lifting to the sky.

They were gone. Her children were dead, and had been for centuries. Beatrice, Henry, and Charlene. Little Charley wasn’t even two. Henry twelve and Beatrice 16. They’d already lost one parent in the war. And not even ten years later they’d lose the other. With no knowledge of what happened to her. 

Y/n’s mind went to the worst possible thought. That her children believed she abandoned them. Just thinking it sent her into another episode of despair. Who knows what Zola told them. She thought of Chester, Peggy, and Howard. The three people she trusted most in life, behind her husband and Steve. Y/n had to believe they would not rest until they found her. Chester especially. After all they shared a daughter, who was his world. As a man of honor and for the sake of Charley, he would never give up on Y/n. Howard was her cousin, and Peggy her best friend. They would know something was suspicious about her disappearance. Considering it happened not long after the Congressional hearing. 

But still, the nightmare plagued her. Ripping apart her soul until there was nothing left. The numbness got stronger and Y/n began to hyperventilate. Throat opening and closing to the point she struggled to breathe. “I-I can’t--,” she stuttered, hand going to her chest, where she felt her heart begging to explode, “breathe. I can’t-can’t breathe.” Gasping, Y/n felt her eyes bulging, neck veins protruding. 

Cooper became concerned, hearing the woman choke on nothing but air and found himself moving toward her. “Hey now,” he crouched, gently placing his hands on her shoulder only to jump back as she began to thrash. Then it hit him what was happening, “Y/n, you’re having a panic attack. Ya need to breathe, woman, breathe.” She was fighting against his hold, which turned to him wrapping his arms around her, pressing her back against his chest as he fell knees first into the sand. Part of him thought she was gonna die right there. “Dammit, Y/n, ya gonna run yaself to a heart attack. Breathe! Dammit!” He tightened his hold, shaking her rather harshly but it was just what she needed to stop fighting him. “Ther’ we go,” he eased, leaning back on his knees to semi-pull her into his lap. 

It took a good minute, but Y/n soon felt the tremors cease. Heart still pounding but the ringing in her ears stopped. Clutching onto his arms, Y/n’s shoulders shook as the tears returned. Muffling the sound of her sobs by tucking her face into the crook of her elbow. Falling to defeat for the first time in her life.

“My kids are dead,” she broke, shaking her head as her voice became barely a whisper. “My babies are dead.” Cooper stayed silent, allowing the woman to cry her heart out. For she was feeling the worst pain imaginable for a parent. Giving her the comfort he desperately needed when he lost Janey.

For Y/n, she mourned not only her children and the people she loved, but the life taken from her. When Zola placed her in that pod he froze not only her body but her future as well. 345 years, gone in the blink of an eye. Falling asleep at the beginning of the 5th decade of the 20th century. Waking near the end of the 9th in the 23rd. 

The America she left behind was history. Now, the soldier had to face the greatest battlefield known to man. 

The Wasteland. 

In the first two weeks of Y/n’s travels with the bounty hunter and former vault dweller, she learned the dark truth behind the Great War as they dubbed it. After they raided the Shield bunker once Y/n managed to calm down, she led them to a hidden vault within an office wall where she knew weapons and emergency supplies were kept. Using her Shield ID code, which by the grace of God somehow worked. 

Cooper about had a field day. Equipping himself with ammunition and guns. Lucy took claim to whatever she could fill her pack with and Y/n stocked up her suit. Knives, guns, magazines. She found a backpack and packed it to the brim. When she finished she was no longer Dr. Y/n Andrews.

She was the Eagle. 

When neither of her new companions were looking, Y/n slipped into Zola’s office and stole the files on her and her friends. On her way out she stopped by the tv, noticing the box of video tapes beside it. Picking one up, her heart dropped at the label ‘House Committee Hearing ‘50.’ Squeezing her eyes shut, Y/n held herself together. And as the sound of spurs filled her ears, indicating Cooper entered the room, Y/n let out a stained sigh, “I take it you two watched these?”

He didn’t lie to her, “Yeah. We got about six in…including the one yer holdin’.” She dropped it back into the box, not saying another word as she pushed past Cooper to find Lucy. Once they were all ready, they headed back to the surface and set forth to their next target. 

Then came the history lesson when Y/n asked where they were going. The rise of Vault-Tec, the bombs dropping, and how both Lucy’s father and Cooper’s ex-wife were part of it. Y/n looked at Cooper aghast when that detail was revealed, wondering how the hell the math added up. Thankfully they explained, although Cooper was more vague with his description much to her annoyance. 

Lucy was the talker of the two. Happy to answer Y/n’s questions and provide clarification. As she relayed the events of the Great War and Vault-Tec’s corrupt ambitions, Y/n had to contain her reaction. Wanting to scream until her voice gave out. Shoot something until she ran out of bullets. 

How could this happen? How could a company grow so powerful it managed to overtake the government. Gaining enough power to unleash a nuclear event.

So when they sat by the fire and Lucy gained the courage to ask, “What was it like?” Y/n felt that box opening. Confronting the past which was centuries worth of history but had occurred only recently for her. 

“You mean the war? Or life in general?” She answered with her own question, noticing the way Cooper shifted, his eyes peering from beneath his hat. 

“Everything.”

Y/n glanced at Lucy from the side, not moving her body, “I thought you both read my file. And watched the tapes I recorded.”

“We did,” Lucy admitted, offering a nervous smile, “But reading about history is vastly different than when you hear it first hand from someone who lived through it. When I taught the kids in my vault they always preferred watching the holotapes rather than the books that’d been preserved. And so much from the 20th century had been lost….”  Pausing at Cooper’s warning look, Lucy began to ramble, “I-I mean I only ask if you’re comfortable with talking about it. Sorry I should’ve been more considerate--I know it’s a sensitive topic with-- I-I mean you just woke up not even two weeks ago to find 345 years have passed--and America is not how you left it. Oh God I’m being really insensitive--I am so sorry,” Lucy’s mouth snaps as the woman cuts her off with a tired sigh. 

“You don’t have to apologize for being curious, Lucy,” Y/n ran her hands through her hair, dropping her head for a moment before cranking it. “But I should warn you if someone hasn’t yet, curiosity can be a dangerous thing.” The wastelanders knew exactly what she referred to. 

Her curiosity ended with her frozen in a pod for 345 years. 

Removing a cigarette from her tin holder, Y/n used the flames of the fire to light it, taking a deep drag before speaking. “Lucy, you have to understand, I was born at a time when women didn’t even have the right to vote. And once we did there was still a lot of work to be done to even the playing field. I worked hard to secure my education, and it was not without difficulty--especially when the support from family and the system was limited.”

Y/n went on about her life. About what inspired her to study radiation physics. How she met her husband, and her research with Project Rebirth. The SSR, and the war. She kept out some details, obviously, especially the more personal ones about her family. Both were aware she wasn’t ready to speak of her children. Or whatever relationship she had with her colleague, Chester Phillips. 

When she finished Lucy asked the number one question, “How’d you become a super soldier?” Cooper was also interested in the answer, sitting up against his log. Lucy followed it with, “In the tape we watched, you told Congress all the serum was destroyed.” 

Y/n stared deeply into the fire, letting the silence pass as the memory resurfaced. “After the first year we were at a disadvantage. I….before the demonstration Erskine left me a package. He warned me of his concerns that morning that something might happen. He told me to hide it, and that it was only to be opened as a last resort.” Her shoulders shrugged, then confirmed their suspicions, “I knew right then and there a vial of the serum was in the package. And I knew if the government found out, there’d be a bidding war for control. Then when the Hydra spy killed Erskine, I made sure to do everything to prevent them from getting the serum.”

Lucy leaned forward, “That night you told Congress you guys were talking strategy…”

“Was the night we used the serum on me,” Y/n finished the sentence. A sad smile formed on her lips. “We had to. It was our last resort. We went back and forth on who should take it and in the end they all voted I was the best choice. My role in creating it, my expertise in the field. I was already involved in operations with Steve,” Y/n drawled on, “They’d already dubbed me the Eagle in the papers after Steve and I crossed into enemy territory to rescue that unit. They saw it fitting.”

Another pause, Y/n lighting another cigarette, “I honestly didn’t want to--I kept thinking of the consequences if word got out. But I trusted our team, and they trusted me. They had faith when I had fear.” Letting the smoke blow out, Y/n finished her monologue with, “Like an eagle learning to fly.”

Lucy was in awe, but felt an immense amount of sympathy for the woman. She admired her strength, her resilience, her drive to fight for what is right. Lucy related to that. 

“Do you regret it?” she softly asked, “taking the serum?” the question hung in the air. Allowing Y/n to really think although she already knew the answer. 

“I don’t regret anything in my life,” she delivered the truth, not meeting the girl’s eyes. “If I did, I wouldn’t be true to myself.” 

“You know,” Cooper drawled after a minute, gaining her attention, “them history books used to call y’all the ‘Greatest Generation’,” dramatic flair in his tone as he said the phrase. “Givin’ all the shit you folks had to go through. The damn depression and wars. Not to mention y’all were the fuckin’ original Arms Race.” His laugh was dry, “Ironic don’t ya think.”

“Well, forgive me if I sound ungrateful,” Y/n chuckled without any humor. The sound is full of sorrow and a lick of resentment, “but I don’t feel great. Nor deserving of such a label. Seeing as how the world ended up this way barely a century after it ended.” 

Cooper scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well thank God you didn’t have to witness it. Better you were in that fuckin’ pod than watching your precious America get nuked to bits.”

“Cooper!” Lucy scolded, glancing to Y/n to find her completely, and almost frightenedly, stoic. 

Clenching her jaw, Y/n’s anger was becoming more difficult to contain. Going through the five stages of grief daily. Acceptance was on the horizon but she had to navigate the anger and depression first. The denial came and went the day she awoke, and bargaining was useless.  

Taking a sharp inhale, Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, “I was six years old when World War One began, ten when it ended. My daddy was shipped off France and when he returned, he was a different man.” Eyes lined with angry tears, Y/n pinned her gaze on Cooper. He held it, chill running down his spine by the power she radiated. Her voice had an edge, “World War One was supposed to be the war to end all wars. When the Second broke out in ‘39, he and everyone who was fortunate to come home, felt like everything they endured was all for nothing.” She paused, letting the words linger. Lucy’s heart clenched, understanding where Y/n was going by bringing up her father. 

She related to the feeling.

Licking her lips she continued, “So when America entered, and I was recruited, I made a vow to him and to every, single, soldier--living and dead, that what we did would not be in vain. That it wouldn’t be for nothing.” She swallowed, tightening her jaw. “You have no idea what I went through. What I endured. I lost my husband and my best friend,” a tear slipped, rolling down her cheek. “I was the only survivor of the Howling Commandos--do you know what that’s like? To be the only one. I came back home a new person, just like my daddy and every damn soldier who stepped foot on the frontlines. And when I came home….you want to know what I faced?” She didn’t even let him try to answer, but then again how could he answer. 

“I came home to a government that I defended, working to destroy my name and reputation. Who wanted to lock me in a lab to prick and poke for the rest of my life if they discovered the truth because to them, the serum was more valuable than my life. All while raising three young children and preventing a nuclear disaster from happening,” Now the anger had released after two weeks of sizzling. Erupting like a volcano. Y/n didn’t hold back, and the two understood, not moving to interrupt.

 “You told me you went through the second wave of McCarthyism. Well guess what, I experienced the first. Once Congress was off my back with the serum it didn’t end there. I had to face the man the damn movement is named after. Having to rebuild my reputation all over again because the madman accused me of being a communist! When in reality I was doing everything in my power to deescalate the tensions between America and the Reds. To ensure the generations after were guaranteed peace and a safe future. So yeah,” she spat, the fire in her veins mirroring the one in front of her. “It’s a good thing I was in the pod. Saved me the embarrassment of watching the country I risked everything to get blown to bits, as you say, by a failure of a generation.” 

That last statement cut Cooper deep. Yet, he was silent. Unable to form any defense because deep down he knew there was none. His generation failed. Failed their children and the generations after them. They allowed Vault-Tec to control the narrative. Now they reaped the repercussions. But Y/n wasn’t finished, ending him with a final blow to the chest.

“And as a former soldier yourself, Cooper, don’t you blame yourself even the tiniest bit?” His sharp inhale was enough of an answer, Y/n watching the flicker of emotion pass his eyes. She knew it was harsh, but there was no turning back, even if he now hated her. “Because right now, I can’t even bring myself to think my efforts in the war accomplished anything. To me…..it was all for nothing.”

[velvetvexations]

Even putting aside what a ridiculous comparison that is, I need it understood that the primary way transradfems engage with "material reality" is through movies from the previous century.

It's hypervisibility vs. invisibility. Trans women were openly mocked and trans men were ignored or just subsumed into a range of experiences for cis women. That's changing now that trans men are getting more spotlight than they had before, although it's still tilted in those directions.

But there was genuinely nothing transphobic about Chihiro's story and to say there was you have to prove his model was trans women and transitioning children when there is an extremely well-established category of AMAB people who present as girls in Japanese culture that is infinitely more talked about in pop culture over there. You have to insist upon the fact that he was ever connected to people who sincerely identify as girls in the first place. If this was America, it'd make more sense, but it is actually just genuinely racist to be told all that and still be like "well, but it makes me think of trans women."

This is why transradfems hate me, too. A trans woman disagreeing with them breaks their rules.

Especially the person who cannot stop fucking bypassing my block to screenshot my blog and then justifying it by claiming I do it, even though I fucking deleted those posts after she complained and have not mentioned her a single time since unless she did first.

Here's the thing: I DON'T THINK NOT WANTING TO ASSOCIATE WITH AGAB LANGUAGE IS UNREASONABLE AT ALL! But it's fucking projecting as fuck to say that people who don't like TMA/TME language must simply want to cling to AGAB. I mean, holy fuck, right? That's not what's being argued dumbass - but she can't think of any other way to divide trans people based on AGAB without referencing it in some way, so her ideal replacement is TMA/TME, that's the two kinds of trans people that exist, you're not AMAB or AFAB you're TMA or TME, this is so fucking masks off it's wild that other transradfems aren't mortified by her saying the quiet part out loud. This should just completely obliterate every trace of protest when someone points out TME is in practice exclusively used to refer to AFAB trans people and no one else ever, unless what she's actually saying is that AFAB trans people are so close to cis women that they might as well just by default be called the same thing and have no other way of identifying themselves when you talk about categories of trans people and their experiences.

But it's so intensely psychologically revealing. I don't think she's ever been misgendered a single time in her life. I don't think she's ever had even the slightest actual barrier to hop in her quest to live as a woman, because this oversensitivity where someone acknowledging transphobes see us as our assigned sex counts as them misgendering you? That's just not the behavior of someone who actually deals with these things in the real world. Or even online. Again, I get pedojacketed and threatened with actual cancelation from my actual career because I engage with actual TERFs. These people never do anything but moan about tee-em-ees misgendering them by discussing how the enemy perceives us. And she in particular is the most desperate to shut that out, because that is the only reminder there could ever possibly be a hypothetical obstacle to her claiming her girl card. I have zero doubt she lives in the queerest city on the planet and if she didn't have internet she would literally be unable to even conceive of transphobia as a concept. And she fucking hates me for not just being a trans woman who agrees with the transandrobros, but also personally identifies with my AGAB. The implication that it's possible for a trans woman to be okay with the term "male" shatters her self-esteem. That is the extent of "misgendering" she has ever faced and ever will face. Me identifying the way I do terrifies her, I have to be objectively wrong about claiming identification with my AGAB because she copes with insecurity by imagining a world where TERFs are right but instead of biology everyone's soul is either Male and Female and you can only be one or the other. Gender can't just be people figuring out who they are and the ways they want to express themselves and live their lives, that's not real enough for her, she has to be Trve Fymyle the way TERFs go on about, except instead of centering around wombs it's this weird vaguely spiritual concept that she forces everyone else to fit into because if they don't it implies her framework isn't the tangible reality she so desperately needs to feel valid.

And that's why she "needs" TMA/TME, because she reasonably wants to talk about the experiences of people who share her category but doesn't want to identify as anything that references what those experiences fucking are (e.g. having been assigned male at birth). And again, that's FINE. I GET THAT. THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. I CAN SEE HOW THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. But that doesn't mean TMA/TME doesn't also have issues and I'm sorry if she's having a hard time coming up with something else because it's difficult to navigate the inherent paradox of wanting to associate with something that unfortunately makes her feel bad to associate with it, but she needs to pick something else, and not say "weh the TMEs are making us change our language" as though (a) transradfems aren't telling trans men what language they can use for themselves and (b) it's impossible to come up with terms that don't explicitly make claims about the experiences of others and 100% defines them by suffering less.

And isn't it strange how other transradfems are insisting they have to call themselves CAMAB and CAFAB, but THEY aren't clinging to AGAB language? Weird, right? I mean there is a group of people insistently arguing that it is simply paramount that we use AGAB language, but they're perisex trans women stealing it from intersex people so I guess it's fine?

But I don't CARE. I don't like her and I don't want to look at her stupid blog and I sure as fuck don't want to report on it. I just wish she'd stop talking about me. I literally just want her to stop block evading me and telling people my identity revolves around wanting to suck up to TERFs*. I do not talk about her except when she talks about me. AND I'M STILL NOT EVEN NAMING HER.

When she complained about me screenshotting her posts, I deleted them. They got zero notes. Her screenshots of me have hundreds and she keeps taking them because she's fucking obsessed because she can't feel like a girl if someone else identifies a little differently than she does. I don't even screenshot other people if they have me blocked but I see other people debating their takes, I make a post that references no one with unspecified prompting. And I've never done even done that with her, not only because she keeps baselessly accusing me of harassment, but because she infuriates me on a level where I just sincerely do not like seeing her fucking content in any way for any reason.

God I fucking hate radfems.

*which she happily admits to knowing is a lie but is like "yeah well I say she's mean so I'm going to keep deliberately fabricating falsehoods about her"

Thank you. <3

I have enlightened another soul!

If you asked these people, ten times out of ten they would say detransition and rape are the worst things that can possibly happen to someone and murder is no comparison, but they'll see trans men talking about their sexual abuse to be like "wow so lucky you guys just have to LARP The Handmaid's Tale, but we get KILLED."

And it's like. Okay. But fuck off, though? It's fine to personally see murder as worse and to grieve more over that, ig, it's like, whatever, but to openly state that it's a PRIVILEGE to be raped and detransitioned makes my brain melt. It's like they are physically incapable of not putting down other trans people. It is the one single area of activism they engage in. That is the war they are waging. They don't give a fuck about trans rights because they live in privileged areas with supportive families. Their battle is with the TME trans people on social media.

lolllll

"I hate how misogynistic Velvet is, she's everyone's cumrag"

^actual thing actually said and believed by the TMA/TME tankies

Before anyone accuses this anon of saying transradfems are engaging in male behavior or whatever, I'll note as I always have that they're just as sexually predatory and entitled to the bodies of others as TERFs are. That is the actual comparison being made. The worst trans women are identical to the worst cis women. Diversity win.

[genshinrail]

Hisoka & Illumi as Trans Allies

A/N: I made this because I was feeling insecure about my own gender identity, and also I've been having this HC for Hisoka specifically for a while.

Notes: This is mainly for trans men/women; I use terms like "boyfriend/girlfriend". But non-binary and any other gender could also react to this!

Warnings: Mentions of misgendering, some violence from Illumi.

♠＋。:;゜;:。＋♠ 。:;゜;:＋♠。:;゜;:。＋♠。:;゜;:。＋♠＋。:;゜;:。＋♠

Hisoka

Hisoka will 100% accept you and love you as trans. He uses the right pronouns and words immediately and never makes a mistake. He is very proud of you. To him, it is simply obvious you are whatever gender you feel like.

If you get insecure about your identity, he just affirms you more aggressively. “What’s that my boyfriend/girlfriend? I see. But the last time, I looked at my gorgeous man/woman.”

If someone ever misgenders you, even accidentally, he will draw out his cards and look at the person very seriously. “They are a man/woman. Get it right, or next time I won’t be so understanding.” He has zero tolerance for transphobes.

-

Illumi

He is fine with you being trans. It doesn’t bother him at all and it’s not a problem for him to use the right pronouns and right gendered words.

If you get insecure about it, he would just go “Why? You feel like this gender, so you are this gender.”

If someone accidentally misgenders you he will just correct them like “Hm? No, this is my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

If someone misgenders you on purpose… he will get pissed off and throw needles at them, not kill them but torture them. He very calmly looks at them while they cry in pain: “You want to try that again?”

[nivisob]

XOXO ᡣ𐭩

Hey gamers,

I’m Andreas / Ted (testing) / Hollis

past users : @fasterthanasp33dingbullet @jysian @slopmasc @stylerzz04 @thqtcher

Preferably only call me Andreas if you know me irl

I’m an autistic (+ a bunch of other stuff) system with adhd as well who literally doesn’t do anything but shitpost on this account. I AM A MINOR. DNI if you are nsfw.

Sometimes I’ll post about my special interests but most of this is just a glimpse into my sick and twisted head… heh.

(You can legally kill me for that joke, it’s encouraged actually)

LABELS ᡣ𐭩

My labels are fucking bonkers, so bare with me:

Intersex nonhuman trans gay boygirl, he/him but please use she/her if you don’t know me very well. Same goes for terms

INTERESTS ᡣ𐭩

They change a lot but here are my main ones

(Bold for hyperfixations, italics for special interests)

MUSIC : siouxsie and the banshees, the cure, sign crushes motorist, bauhaus, harley poe, icp, tv girl, tally hall and it’s side projects, rob zombie, GHOST, teenage disaster, johnnascus, afourteen, GHOST and pals, femtanyl, MAILPUP, S3RL

MEDIA : zero day, ride the cyclone, mandela catalogue, don’t feed the muse, lacey’s games, azumanga daioh, smiling friends, pizza time pizza, happy meat farms, walten files, chuckle sandwich, johnny the homicidal maniac, handsome man friends, deadpool

CONTENT CREATORS : ted nivison, slimecicle, alex bale, wendigoon, schlatt (because of chuckle sandwich, dni mcyt schlatt likers), jerma, flamingo, kubz scouts, doctor nowhere

GAMES : re4, hotline miami, postal, cry of fear, afraid of monsters, lollipop chainsaw, tf2, , papa’s freezeria, overwatch, miitopia, danganronpa (to an extent. If it’s ur spin/hyperfixation, I’ll talk about it with you because it was once my special interest but I DO NOT post danganronpa stuff), roblox (specifically gunfight arena, I’ll fuck someone up at gunfight arena trust)

MISC : psychology, horror movies as a whole (im going to horrorcon in december ^__^), computer science/programming, hacktivism, human anatomy, really anything to do with brains and how trauma affects it???

DNI ᡣ𐭩

tcc weirdos, if ur any of my bf’s opps (you are also my opp) ,under 14, over 21 (unless we’re close and have known eachother) (mutual @scouts-cosplays is immune to this rule) (he’s cool, hello oomf), racists, homophobes/transphobes, zionists, MAPs and zoos (I used to hunt your kind for sport back in my day… [said in old man voice]), nsfw blogs, melanie martinez fans, zionists, pro-contact paraphiles, exclusionists, radfems/radqueers, pro/comshippers, j.k rowling / harry potter fans, mcyt fans (specifically tommy likers, you make me uncomfortable), vivziepop likers, IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME OBSESSED WITH ANYTHING I LIKE. YOU SPECIFICALLY CAN DIE!!

FUN FACTS / BYI ᡣ𐭩

⛦ I struggle with coherency as a whole so I will probably be confusing to talk to some days. Be patient

⛦ I have really bad memory loss, it’s nothing personal if I forget who you are

⛦ In my culture, a certain kind of bird that can turn its head 360° is bad luck. Do not send me this bird or talk about it near me. Don’t even mention it’s name, it’s bad luck and will send me into a panic attack

⛦ I’m a people pleaser, I’m also very emotional ^__^

⛦ I LIKE MEN!!! I AM GAY!!! I AM A GAY MAN!!!

⛦ tone tags are needed for me. I also DO NOT like random ass people being mean to me as a joke. If we JUST met through a mutual friend, YOU ARE NOT COOL TO CALL ME SLURS AND BE A DICK!!!

MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ᡣ𐭩

@stealingyourteeth ᡣ𐭩 ⛦ @spirals-and-stars-s ⛦ @imdeadandimeatingyourbrains ⛦ @orndbfksbshdsns

[sophieinwonderland]

Friggin hate hate hate the way folks are just blatantly ignoring the lived realities of transphobia. Like this is literal transmedicalism and transmed rhetoric. Full stop.

The notion that you have to use the right language or else you don't face oppression is utter garbage. Fuck a lot of the transphobic legislation happening was sold as attacking Drag, which says nothing about a person's gender identity.

Like, apply any of this shit to singlets and it seems flatly obvious that it's transmed bs (at least I would hope so). Hell, wasn't the general explanation of transness "X trapped in a Y's body" up until the last like 5-10 years? I'd really like to see someone try to parse the difference between that and cis headmates in body's that don't match their gender.

This all just stinks of transmedicalism we've seen with our own two eyes. "You need to use my words or else you face zero of the same issues." Or "How dare you mention how you're affected by this, you don't even use the words I want you to use!" It's all so frustrating!

Anyways, thanks for staying strong! I thought your breakdown of your reasons for identifying as cis were really interesting and cool! Keep on being awesome! -Faye

Thank you Faye! 💖

That's a great point about the anti-drag laws, and it got me thinking about how a lot of transphobia and transphobic laws tend to rely on dog whistles to make them more appealing.

The far right doesn't say: "let's go take the rights of transgender people to use the bathroom that matches their gender."

They say: "we need to protect our daughters from men who will dress up as women to get into their bathrooms."

It's not exactly subtle but it leaves room for plausible deniability at least. It lets them say "we don't hate trans people, we just want to protect children."

Anti-trans rhetoric in many cases is masked as something else. It's not supposed to look transphobic and many of the people who lap it up or excuse it won't feel it is.

Anti-drag laws are sold as being against drag itself not trans people. Bathroom laws are sold as being against potential predators who may just be pretending to be trans.

What all of this boils down to is a form of transphobia that tries to look like it's actually against all of these other things and just happen to erode the rights of transgender people as it does. And because of this, actually calling yourself trans has very little to do with if you'd face discrimination or be impacted by transphobic laws.

I don't know why some people have such a hard time grasping that you can face discrimination and oppression even without using a certain label.

[foggyfanfic]

Encanto Headcanons Nobody Asked For

Hello! I am putting off writing my last essay of the semester, so here are some headcanons!

The thing where the kids touch the candle and promise to help Encanto however they can started as Alma's way to reassure nervous villagers that the Madrigals wouldn't misuse their gifts.

When Alma first got her door and saw an old woman on it, she was super confused, but also too tired from the day's events to question it too much. When she eventually looks the same as her picture on the door she has a small mid-life crisis that she reveals to nobody.

Same for each of the triplets.

People do actually break into song in universe, it is a side effect of all the magic in Encanto. The first time it happened was about seven months in and everybody freaked out about it for months.

Alma eventually gets used to the singing thing and never thinks to mention it isn't normal to her kids or grandkids. In fact, most people in Encanto take the singing for granted, so when the mountains open up and they get a few new villagers nobody bothers to warn them that the village will regularly break into song.

I know the creators said the village is completely self sufficient, but like... where's the quarry for all the stone? Where are they making glass, that requires a specific kind of sand, do they have that sand? How are they getting new books? Nah bro, the village has three merchants who journey past the mountains twice a year.

I know the generally accepted headcanon is that Agustin was born outside of the Encanto, but I think his parents were city dwellers visiting family when the village got raided. They escaped with their hosts and planned to take their family back to the city with them, then ended up in a magic paradise instead.

In the same vein, Agustin's dad was a banker and has become the town's unofficial treasurer since that's about the only way he can contribute with his skill set.

Agustin's mother passed in childbirth, his father eventually remarried, but only after a few years of grieving. Agustin has three much younger half siblings.

Bubba comes to Encanto and does indeed get with Isabela, but I mean... some AMAB dude who surrounds himself with the trappings of masculinity and had zero problem seeing through Isabella's hyper feminine facade? Trans woman Bubba. All I'm saying. (Transphobes dni, neither of us will change the other's mind).

The art book had something about Isabela looking more indigenous than her sisters, so we know the family has indigenous roots. I wasn't able to find a lot about queer history in Colombia, but I did see that two native men were murdered by colonizers for being gay out in the open. That kinda implies that homophobia comes from the colonialist side of modern Colombia. I choose to believe that Alma has a great aunt on the native side of her family who is married to a woman. She grew up hearing that they have to keep the marriage secret to protect her aunts, so when she notices Bruno has a boyfriend, she starts planning a secret wedding without mentioning anything to Bruno.

Bruno doesn't realize his mama knows he's not straight, he thinks he's hidden it very well. When Isabela and Bubba nervously come out at dinner and Alma asks Bruno if he has any advice about being queer, Bruno inhales what he's eating and needs the Heimlich.

I agree in general with queer Madrigal headcanons, but I'm also aware that we're dealing with an isolated community a couple decades before the lgbt rights movement really kicked off in Colombia. I suspect most of the characters wouldn't use any of the labels we use today, and in fact, characters like Mirabel wouldn't stop to consider they're not straight until they've already been happily married for two decades.

That said, I think Mirabel is what we consider to be bi with a heavy preference for men. Her husband is quiet and doesn't have a single creative bone in his body, but thinks everything she sews deserves to be put in a museum. They bond because he commissions her to make something for his mother.

Luisa gets a tiny little husband who falls to pieces when she flexes. He does not understand people who say she is too masculine, or call Isabela the pretty one.

Camilo's youngest son is autistic, not that any of them know that's what the kid's deal is. Camilo just thinks his son is hilariously blunt and really into bugs. He doesn't really get how the kid can spend hours looking at an ant hill without getting bored, but whatever, he'll just buy the kid an ant farm for his birthday.

When women marry into the Madrigal family that don't have anybody to walk them down the aisle, they ask Tio Bruno to do it. It started with Camilo's wife, whose father is abusive, and became a tradition as the family grew.

When Mirabel becomes a grandmother the family starts calling her Mirabuela. Similarly, Antonio eventually becomes Tio Nio, to the point that some people forget he has a first name.

I actually have a lot of headcanons about the future of the Madrigal family but this is getting long, so I'm going to stop. I've ended up mentally writing whole ass fics for Camilo's wife and his youngest granddaughter, as well as for Mirabel's daughter, and Dolores' great grandson, so if I get into all of that this thing is going to triple in length.

[swordwithribbon]

abolishing gender identity = there are zero genders, no one has a gender, it is impossible to have a gender, being nonbinary or trans doesn't exist because there is nothing to identify out of, everyone on earth is genderless bc gender is a rightwing male invention and upholding it in any form is part of the patriarchal scaffolding holding up male supremacy, heterocentrism and capitalism.

abolishing gender identity =/= i've got a dick but i hate football therefore i must not be a real man, i've got a vagina but i've also got a personality unlike all those other silly brainless bimbos so i must be nonbinary, if you don't fit the rightwing definition of masculinity and femininity that means you're special and not just normal.

there are two sexes* - one of which has oppressed the other since time immemorial - and there are zero genders. oppressors cannot identify out of their privilege and oppressed people cannot identify out of their oppression. a white person cannot decide they're one of the good ones and identify out of their white privilege, and a male cannot decide the same either.

* if you're about to say something ableist about people with DSDs/"intersex" people, and claim they don't have a single sex because you're too stupid to understand how sex-linked disorders work, don't bother. i've heard it all before and it's all anti-science nonsense not dissimilar to anti-vaxx conspiracies.

thanks for the patronising explanation of what gender abolition would mean, although i already knew all of that lol. it’s interesting hearing such radical gender abolitionists such as yourself because i actually agree— abolishing gender would almost certainly be beneficial for everyone. but, none of you ever offer a practical and realistic way to achieve this: it’s always “gender doesn’t actually exist” but it does, you said so yourself. yes, it’s not a biological reality in the same way sex is and it is constructed but things that are sociological are still real. gender is a social reality.

being transsexual is at its core a medical condition caused by gender dysphoria aka gender discongruence. i find it abhorrent that anyone who hasn’t experienced such a challenging condition (which, as we all know, causes the trans su*c*de rate to be so high) would attempt to debase transition as “not liking football so i’m not a man”. you sound ridiculous. transsexuality is gender dysphoria being alleviated by a social and usually medical transition. interests have literally zero impact; if liking feminine things made you trans, all effeminate gay men would be transitioning, but they aren’t because there’s no dysphoria.

on a seperate note, other “trans umbrella” identities that you mentioned (e.g. nonbinary) are literally what you’re aiming for. nonbinary is a gender identity that defies all other binary ideas of gender, but for some reason this still upsets you because it’s being referred to as a “gender identity” and as such upholds in the loosest of ways gender norms. well, to that thought i ask: what’s the alternative? being transsexual or nonbinary or anything that goes against the conservative and very reductive idea that amab = man and afab = woman is rebelling against those conservative ideas. transsexuals are in favour of gender abolition. being trans is one step towards your utopian description of a genderless society, which, as an aside, we probably won’t ever arrive to unless society completely dies off and starts anew.

in regards to “identifying out of oppression” im not sure if you’re claiming i said this is possible, but i’ll give my thoughts. a trans woman who “passes” as the sex to which she has transitioned (and so is socially a woman) holds much less social power than a social man. yes, there are things that trans women cannot identify out of in the sense that they will always be biologically male, and so will never experience sex-based oppression e.g. oppressive abortion laws. but, a “passing” trans woman can and will inevitably experience misogyny as she lives as a woman day-to-day, just as a trans man in the same position will be treated as he is— a man— and be able to benefit from the social and daily privileges that this comes with. when people see a stranger, they see them as they are, not their genitalia or chromosomes or sex organs etc. so, yes, in part, oppression that isn’t tied completely to biology can be transferred.

as a final note, the racial comparison you mentioned is completely irrelevant as being “transracial” 1. doesn’t actually exist, and 2. even if it did, there would be no grounds for it to be valid as race dysphoria isn’t real. so you can’t really make a comparison between the two.

[demadogs]

Do you know any good wlw movies/ TV shows on netflix? I've watched a few, I am not ok with this, Carol, duck butter, but im LESBIAN DEPRIVED!

~🌈

YOU AND ME BOTH GIRLY.

unfortunately almost all my favorite sapphic shows have been canceled especially the ones on netflix but i do still think theyre worth your time. but it might also kill you bc the story isnt finished. all these shows are also just amazing plots too. like i would love them just as much even if there wasnt wlw relationships.

heres what i got for shows but not all of these are on netflix.

the wilds. this is an AMAZING SHOW. its on amazon its about a staged plane crash where 8 girls are stuck on an island but they dont know that its all a fucked up social experiment. a lesbian relationship became established before it got canceled after s2.

cable girls. this is on netflix and it actually DIDNT GET CANCELED HALLELUJAH. its an amazing show but it actually doesnt really count as sapphic bc one of the characters in the wlw relationship ends up being trans. but its still a great queer love. this shows spanish and set in late 1920s madrid at a telephone company. its one of my favorite shows ever literally every season is better than the last plz watch it.

everything sucks. this is on netflix and it did get canceled but the lesbian relationship was mostly established before the end of the first season. its set in the 90s and its just a really cute show im mad it got canceled.

paper girls. this is on amazon and ngl this is one of the most painful sapphic show cancelations ive ever suffered through so if you dont wanna watch it just bc of that i dont blame you. its about these four young girls who accidentally time travel from the 80s to current day and meet their future selves. the gay girlies are heavily implied and foreshadowed but they dont get together before the end of the show :(

the last of us!!! not canceled its still going!! this show has an episode that shows a past sapphic relationship with the lesbian main character but the first season doesnt introduce a new relationship yet. the second season will tho. im sure youve heard about this or already watched it but its about a zombie-like pandemic from a deadly fungus and its total post apocalyptic. also AMAZING found family father/daughter trope. dare i say i actually think i like them more than el and hopper.

i really need to find more great sapphic movies.

my favorite lesbian movie of all time is portrait of a lady on fire. its a french period piece and its just beautiful and THERE ARE LIKE ZERO MEN IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. i think the only line a man has is “bonjour” and thats it. MY KINDA MOVIE!!!!! INSTANT 5 STARS!!!!! i love this movie. the initial premise is that a woman needs to be painted but she cant know that shes being painted so the other woman has to just study her while hanging out and then paint her from memory. it ends up being much more than that but gaaahhh if you only watch one of these make it this movie.

another iconic sapphic movie is but im a cheerleader. way different tone much less dramatic and more comedy but still never gets old.

you didnt mention books but im gonna give you book recs anyway.

seven husbands of evelyn hugo!!!!!!! im sure youve heard about this. i dont think its overrated at all it really was such a good book and dont let the title fool you its gay as hell. if youre really not a reader tho this is going to be a netflix movie soon.

an amazing duo book series is criers war. i LOVE scifi and fantasy and this is my favorite sapphic scifi story ive ever read/watched. i want this to be a movie or show so bad. its about a world where some people are people and some are what they refer to as “automa” which are essentially cyborgs but they look just like humans. crier is an automa and the daughter of a king and ayla is a poor human and she has a vendetta against crier bc her father was responsible for her familys murder but crier doesnt know this! so then ayla gets the job as her maid for the goal of killing her basically but of course it gets super gay instead. its such an interesting take on the enemies to lovers trope bc its one sided, cryer has no idea ayla considers her her enemy. also neither of them are white i think crier is brown and ayla is black.

i hope you like these! and if anybody else has lesbian story recs plz put it in the replies or rbs cuz i also need more lesbian content!!!

[butch-reidentified]

i know it’s none of my business, but if you mind sharing, why did you get top surgery? i haven’t heard of any woman who has gotten it for reasons further than being transgender (or medical ones)

I dont mind; it's just a bit complex and hard to communicate. I've found that whenever I try to on here, people end up misinterpreting a lot of it. I'm willing to try tho, esp since I've previously talked about it only in specific contexts and not just discussed all the reasons.

I had a few reasons, and part of it was medical (primarily bc of constant painful cysts), and I did have what I think may be a version of "sex dysphoria" (tho I'm not 100% bc other ppl describe sex dysphoria so differently & I didn't have body image issues or care how I looked to others or in the mirror) where my breasts felt (felt as in a literal physical sensation) like a prosthesis that I was wearing all the time. I had genuinely gorgeous, ideal-by-societal-standards breasts, and I actually quite liked them aesthetically. but they got in the way a lot and caused all the usual issues that large breasts do, so I was gonna get a reduction regardless. I was kinda like, why not go all the way and then I won't have to deal with cysts or that odd sensation I mentioned? I think it kind of comes down to that + the fact I knew I'd enjoy being a butch woman with a flat chest.

but then I also kind of got this sense of amusement from the idea of removing from existence a pair of breasts that sooo many people who saw them called flawless, just because they were "too perfect for this world to have." that's now the reason I give men who ask me about it, bc the reactions are honestly priceless.

I did a whole ton of research, including a lot of exploring stories of women who regretted doing this for the pupose of checking my motivations for pursuing it, my external and internal contexts around it, and my thought process and actual process I had designed for myself to complete before "clearing" myself to go forward with it - the idea being if any of those were a match with anything I read in a regret testimony, I would not move forward. I did therapy as well, specifically not affirming and with the woman who was my therapist after surviving the Pulse shooting in 2016, who I trust and respect deeply and who is not particularly on board with trans stuff or the new brand of "feminism." And I waited over 4 years from when I first thought about it to do all the above, and so it wouldn't be at all impulsive as I'd had a lot of time to dig deep, analyze, try other options, and really think hard about it/how I'd feel. And so I'd be old enough that my prefrontal cortex was more or less done cooking 😅

I'm not really sure either way if I would do it now if I still had them, but that's only bc I'm informed about the cosmetic surgery industry now in ways I wasn't then, and as a result, I'm opposed to giving that industry my money. But it would still be a tough call if I'm honest. I really like the way my chest is now. I'm quite happy with it and find it much more convenient in several ways, so I couldn't honestly say I have any regrets about it.

I truly had zero desire to be viewed as a man or "nonbinary" and went a bit overboard making sure people knew that for a while after my surgery. My misandry runs too deep to ever not love being a woman, no matter what the world is like, if I'm honest. I am so madly in love with womanhood and sisterhood and being a lesbian and female solidarity and devoting my life, body and "soul," to women's liberation. It's my cardinal raison d'être. And I do think there's some good can be done by an extremely gnc woman with no breasts who's loud and proud about being a woman.

[milkweedman]

I am sorry you've been harrassed by terfs, but the way you are currently trying to weed them out seems a bit misguided. As in, the vast majority of terfs are in fact ok with big hairy CIS men. The so-called men they are actively hating are trans women/transfem people. So by acting like you proclaiming your love to big hairy dudes is the best terf-repellant you seem to be missing the point at best.

i'd love to actually respond to your concerns or whatever the hell it was that you were trying to convey with this ask, but it has almost no basis in reality so i literally cant.

thats the one statement on how effective i think the banners are that has left my queue so far. which is: i hope it works but also have literally 2 other backup plans already in case it does not. i dont know why youre calling that "acting like [me] proclaiming [my] love to big hairy dudes is the best terf-repellant", because thats wildly off target from what i have actually said at any point. everything else youve said is also pretty much either dead wrong or ignorant, so im getting the feeling that you not reading has been a problem for a while.

(ive also not mentioned terfs this entire time--ive been talking about radfems and using the word radfems. they're not the same thing although there's large overlap. so like. thats strike two for zero reading comprehension, buddy. cause you are literally not talking about the group im talking about and youre also inventing whole new sentences that i didnt say.)

[listlessnessss]

I was discussing one of my blackpills among the repressor oracle and realized that transmasculinity has nothing to say and nothing to contribute to masculinity classic. It doesn't propose any sort of conceptual threat to men, as we try and climb up a ladder rather than take an immediate redpill, at least conceptually, there is no way for a woman to 'become a man' in any sense without the effort. (This and it being harder to be a trans woman are why ftm reppers are rarer, btw.)

This is why, in tandem with the lack of obligate social cohesion amongst males (with exceptions for marginalized male groups), many of us revert to woman in some sense. It has nothing to do with the inherent cunning duplicity and disingenuousness or illigetimacy of the individuals involved. The male alliance doesn't naturally exist and has to be artificially engineered to ideological ends or to attempt to fill some sort of need, either by the right or the left wing (toxic masculinity as a term wasn't created by complaining feminist women but rather a leftie men's 'alliance' type group, originally)-- when leftie men do this and discuss its intersections with trans, they mean the possibility that some of the men among them are... not... transfemininity poses a conceptual threat to men with which cis men must contend, and they're right to try, yes. they're not speaking to nor about ftms, the assumption is an automatic understanding with the group of origin(women) with queer people in general or a self-selecting tguy space. I'd argue that points one and two are obviously not always true but are for some reason taken as a given, and option three is a viable solution, but let's not pretend that masculinity is under any current social nor political pressure to absorb, it has not been taken to the same task that womanhood or feminism has. Yes, I mentioned that the marginalized group alliance thing exist for the males, too, and wouldn't ftms be that? Yes, you would think, but one must contend with the nature of that marginalization which is precisely that ftms are "not men". So unlike other groups, the 'base case default' of "trans" is not 'trans men'.

It is so funny to watch theorists self-styled or otherwise (go on trans twitter to see examples of this or read that medium article on 'trans masc misogyny and the red six of spades' for a summary) try so hard to avoid the next logical conclusion of 'trans women are women, and as evidence of this, they're victims of misogyny'... this argument has successfully been made, and I agree. But I also sort of think that both trans women and trans men are women and nobody on the left will ever say that but that's my blackpill. It is not a physiological blackpill, though I could spin the phrenology wheel of fortune but that's played out by every other shitty self hating trans person... this is a social, cultural, political blackpill. Again, as I've said, you may want the impossible, yes, but I will not use that against you, I will want the impossible with you and for you.

back to the medium article, it ends like this, after arguing that there's no specifically trans masculine experience: "Living on a border can mean feeling connected to everything and everybody. It can also mean feeling like nothing and nobody, particularly when the dominant culture refuses to admit that you exist. I believe it is the underlying threat of zero-ness — that fear of being canceled out, rendered unthinkable and illegible — that drives much shitty trans masc behavior." I'd argee with the author, but I'd say that the threat of nothingness and lack of conceptual existence has for us already materialized, and has been happening since forever. Curiously, no solutions to this problem are offered, but I think even though it's entierly mired in the nuances of twitter arguents between milennial microceleb wannabe public intellectual types, a culture which I couldn't give less of a fuck about personally, it's an interesting musing on the same problem.

I refuse to blame trans women for this problem, btw. And I will always acknowledge that I will always have it easier in general. But I think that the woobification and aggressively un-political and un-sexualized nature of 'transmasculine culture' is obligate, in that lack of any narrative at all and lack of a politically justifiable positive identification and lack of visibility does translate to material effects (we're more likely than not to eventually try out suicide: look it up) that memeified infantile complaints of 'erasure' don't do justice.

but I'm a dumb repressor and a self-identified autohomoerotic and a trender and a theyfab and refuse to just be butch and a faggot and have no lesbian past and am also a privileged bitch so idk.

[opinated-user]

Things I've Noticed That Are Accidentally Lily Telling On Herself:

She used to make jokes about Nicki Minaj being anti-feminist for talking about sex/being provocative. As Nicki has gone on to do more and more collaborations with sex offenders including convicted pedophile 6ix9ine, these have completely stopped.

She used to rip off the Jimquisition constantly. After Sterling came out as nonbinary, Lily stopped this. She also mockingly says "James Stephanie Sterling" when referring to them and rarely uses they/them for James Stephanie despite those being her preferred pronouns.

She still rips off Zero Punctuation despite his hatred of trans people, complaints about forced diversity whenever a non-cishet character is in media, and use of the phrase "genderspecials" to describe nonbinary people.

She says Friends is more popular than your favorite anime for a reason and then never addresses the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia from the main characters, none of which is ever framed as bad or even simply not funny. Transphobia is okay if you get a lot of views I guess?

She has never once in her entire YouTube career discussed the portrayal of Native characters, even though she's suddenly brown and Native any time someone criticizes her. I don't mean she's never made a full video, I mean she has never mentioned it at all. Even feigning investment is beyond her.

She rebuked Pop Culture Detective's video on the sexual assault, stalking, violations of consent and objectification of women throughout the show by showing a brief clip where Sheldon tells another man, "I know it's not easy putting up with me and I'm glad you do." without ever thinking to once provide any kind of clip, even out of context, where the men treat the women with anything approaching respect or humanity. The women do not matter. She doesn't show a single frame of them. If a man thanks his friend for putting up with him, him using a drone to take upskirt videos of a neighbor of his is fine I guess? He's a good guy so it's fine.

She says she only "pretends to respect" other video makers she watches and seems to think this is not an absurd thing to say. Most people, by default, respect other people until given some reason not to. Lily, by default, does not respect others, and admits to only faking it - and says it as if that's a normal, rational, reasonable thing and not what it actually is, which is so arrogant and snotty that it reads as borderline narcissistic.

She uses Hebrew letters for her white haired Aryan dictator to brand sinners/people who disobey him with, except for rape. Rape gets the brand 'A', for adultery. Adultery could traditionally be defined as a wide number of consenting acts between two adults, and instead Lily lowers the vileness of rape by lowering it down to 'adultery' level. Beat a woman unconscious and rape her in an alleyway? Have loving, consensual sex with someone you're not married to? These are on a completely equal level in her fiction world.

She justifies Kuvira's reeducation camps and creation of weapons of mass destruction by saying we didn't see the former and not talking much about the latter. This implies that it's okay by her that Kuvira abducts, enslaves, brainwashes and gaslights human beings who disagree with her, so long as we don't see it. She never once says doing those things is bad. It does not occur to her that they could be bad. Being seen doing them could be bad, which she acknowledges, but violating another person's will, ignoring their consent and rewriting who they are is only bad in that it would make Kuvira look bad, not bad because violating others is wrong.

There are red flags everywhere with her. The more that you watch her, the more that you see them everywhere.

Lily defenders like to pretend that Stockholm wasn't written by her. You know what? Fine, we'll pretend that's so. Is every single statement she's made in these videos and more also not written by her? Because that would be the only way to make these statements and the idea she's a good person make sense.

.

[brightonratgirl]

Thinking about the first DW special some more and really getting more disappointed with the attempt at trans rep. I thought about how Donna gave all her lottery winnings away and said she should have saved some to leave the area, but if this was real she would definitely save a chunk for Rose's transition? Because she certainly didn't get gender affirming care through the NHS while still being at school. And then I realised they never mention any real problems trans people face in the UK or anywhere?

The issues addressed are skin deep; Boys at school calling her names instead of the school itself putting Rose in dangerous compromising positions with those same bullies. Rose's grandmother meaning well but getting confused instead of how difficult it is to be properly recognised by any official body. A bit about assuming pronouns but ZERO mention of how we can be murdered, for being trans, while the police have to be browbeaten into recognising it as a hatecrime and the media will call us by a false name and identity which caused us nothing but pain in the articles about it!

The "rep" we get is reminiscent of MCU 'girlboss feminism' filled with puns and a joke about "male presenting people" (which barely makes sense, the Doctor was JUST a woman) just likely to alienate supporters and members of our community so Russell and the others can look so progressive without doing any real advocacy or calling out real institutions, including their own colleagues in the BBC and media in general. This is what actual virtue signalling looks like. Russell knows the life and strife of gay men but clearly doesn't know or doesn't care enough about the same for trans people.

The story itself was fun and I liked the characters elsewhere, but I am pessimistic about how the future will go. I'm afraid that in making Rose a cause for ally points, the creators have insured she gets no chance to be a character or a voice.

[nervoustragedyluminary]

I feel like it should be pretty simple for tumblr to easily remove porn bots with how often they:

Spam tag both the "trans man" "transmasc" "gay man" "girls who like girls" and "trans woman" tags simultaneously without any mention of being multi gender/they're obviously not using them in good faith but are being tagged with any and every trans or LGBTQIA tag- I've even seen explicit porn tagged by these bots as "trans kids" - they usually also have tags like "submissive sissy" or other slurs or "need dick" & weird random ones that have zero to do with being sexwork or nsft like fandom related ones.. The use of "trans genocide" as a spam tag is particularly horrific

How often they're obviously stolen images and videos often of obviously different women being posted by a account claiming they're all one person

How often they use the following emojis 🍆🍑💦🥵 or the stock same sayings eg you like a girl with a little extra?🍆🍆🍆"" message me for my Dropbox daddy" etc completely focused on their junk in a way that sure some transfem sexworkers lean into but not all of them do and the majority of it seems like some cis persons idea of how trans women behave and have sex spammed in tags like "trans kids" is fucking sinister and reads like some transphobic chaser making bot accounts to use stolen trans women sex workers' images to make trans women out to be pushy sex pests who spam all tags with uncensored porn and make other trans people like trans guys be like "why are these women posting their porn in our tag?" when it's just bots with stolen content & a transmisogynistic agenda.

If porn bot behaviour is so predictable why is @staff not doing anything about it? Like SFW transition timelines shouldn't be what you're deleting when I am regularly reporting the same obvious bots spamming the same boilerplate all over the LGBTQIA and especially the trans tags - is there someone on staff who's behind this or letting it go on on purpose for the above reasons?

it should be really easy to create a filter for these behaviours automatically and have someone do a manual review if any genuine blogs by real people get caught up

Here's an example of a more SFW one: note the random spam tags and the fact that the woman pictured is obviously a different woman to the display pic -not all of them use trans women's stolen content and I'm sure there's stolen content of cis men being used in this way too but the majority of adult content I see spammed in this way is of either cis or trans women. More examples