#with the setup being that with the family all there to support her and wishing her good luck and everything

[gibbearish]

saw the barbie movie

[bonefall]

Honestly I kind of. Like. When a character has to grapple with the fact they still have some love for a person despite that person being a complete piece of shit that hurt them and other around them. Remembering the good moments they had despite the hatred they feel, not being able to replace them entirely by what they think they should feel.

Basically I wish Berryheart died a death deserving of the cunt she actually is, but I was soooo hoping Sunbeam would have character growth of going from "I loved her even if she was a bitch she was still my mom" to trying to paint over that love with righteous anger for what she did to her siblings and father, and not just "my mom was actually great she just had hate in her heart but she was a good mom :((("

(Ok no, I kind of also want Sparrowtail and Spireclaw to have worse consequences but this is not about them)

Anyway, that's what also disappointed me. What about you Bones? What's the Berryheart stew brewing like so far?

(note: it's hollowspring, not spireclaw, but i know what you meant)

Our stew is the same stock. I LOVE complicated parental relationships, imo, it's one of the most interesting types of connection to consider. But I don't think it's so interesting because it's "magical blood connection" the way the Erins seem to

In fact, I don't think it's really the genes you share that tie you, at all-- it's that a parental bond is irreplaceable. You're only a kid once and you WILL model your caretakers, so these people inevitably teach you how to approach life. Whether the person who takes on that role is a relative, a guardian, or a peer who never should have had that responsibility in the first place, that connection (or lack thereof) gave you that first impression of the world.

It's just a shame, at the end of the day. They had an incredible opportunity here to have Sunbeam unpack the fact her mother was toxic, experience firsthand what it feels like to be part of a supportive family in the Firekin, show Berryheart doing the selfish and violent thing over and over... and STILL have Sunbeam struggling with the fact she loves her.

She can try and quash it with righteous fury. Play back the memories in her mind and understand that many of those "jokes," those "good times," were thinly veiled cruelty. See her mother for the fearful, angry person she truly was... and still not be able to change the desperate pit of longing in her stomach.

(Sunbeam: "...It's like that show, BeckerClan. You know, with Teddansonheart?")

I don't know if Berryheart's Redemption Death was because of the Erin bioparent worship, OR because they didn't want to have Sunbeam contradict Nightheart's feelings about his own mom, OR just their unhinged amount of sympathy towards bigoted characters... but, we had three fascinating setups here, and each one ended in the worst possible way.

I think that makes it PRETTY clear what my intentions are there. There is no chance in hell I'm keeping Berryheart's Tom Moment.

I flatly refuse to end the arc of a character whose most noteworthy action was attempting to hatecrime her in-laws with "awww she loved her daughter." Get OUT. I'm making her WORSE.

[spacesapphi]

HES Trio Headcanons (the third)

That's right guys, another one (my brain is rotted). These three live in my head rent free

some the Shane ones are sad again, sorry

Elliott

-had a pet hermit crab as a kid, he's always been a friend of the crabs!

- prefers fancy, decorative candles to scented ones. The prettier the better!

- trying his best to make his room look like Howls from Howls Moving Castle. That clutter of beautiful trinkets is exactly what he wants for a setup

- loves wearing his hair in braids, but is terrible at doing braids on himself. He usually asks Leah

- Willy is like a father to him. His bio father was not a kind man, and Willy is everything he wished his father could be and more

- Willy taught him how to fish too, and he's actually pretty good at it!

- very into a "method acting" style of writing, as in he'll live like a character he's trying to write for a while until he feels like he can realistically interpret them in his writing

- faked a British accent for about a month in middle school because he thought it sounded very sophisticated and artsy

Harvey

- won't tell anyone, but he enjoys little Saturday morning cartoons now and then. It reminds him of the moments of joy he felt when he was little and he cherishes that

- tried to shave off his mustache once and seeing how he looked without it scared him so bad he vowed not to do it again. It looks so bad 😭💔

- wears that Ebenezer scrooge lookin nightgown and cap unironically, swears that it helps him sleep better

- lactose intolerant and has a gluten allergy. He doesn't like cheese and baked goods because of it, they make him really sick

- that being said, if u made/bought him gluten free stuff he would act like he owes his life to you

- once he was at the library at the same time Penny was tutoring the kids. It was during free reading time and Vincent told him he looked like a character in the book he was reading. It was Geronimo Stilton. Harvey has still not recovered from that

- really wanted siblings as a little kid but never had them, so he created an imaginary friend for himself and pretended to go on aviation missions with them

- has a lil gap between his front teeth, he gets a bit shy about it, but it's cute when he smiles and you can see it

Shane

- I changed my height headcanon, bro is 5'3 now

- his ENTIRE family is very short, his mom and Marnie are 5'0. Jas' parents were tall though so once she's older she's absolutely towering over Marnie and Shane

- had very long hair before taking in Jas. For many reasons, especially maintenance, he's kept it short since adopting her

- Him stealing food from Joja is a habit built from necessity, from the time before he moved back in with Marnie. He got to the point financially that he was often stealing food for him and Jas, because he was often forced to choose between groceries and paying rent.

- he's not a vegetarian, but he refuses to eat chicken specifically. Everytime he tries, he just can't bring himself to do it. He loves chickens too much

- even then, he still ate very little. Stealing was risky and he wanted to make sure Jas was given what she needed first. He always had her eat first, and would eat whatever she didn't, like crusts or veggies she didn't like. The night he moved back in with Marnie was the first time he had an actual meal in about a year

- After he starts recovery, he tries to be better friends with Penny given that she's Jas' teacher. She isn't very interested in being close with him, but he still tries to be friendly

- has an arsenal of dad jokes at the ready at any given moment, you are not prepared for how corny this man gets

- forever salty that LEWIS of all people is beating him on the junimo kart leaderboards

- He and Sam have a workplace besties kinda relationship. They still stay pretty good friends after Joja closes, Shane goes to all of his bands shows to show support

- the only festivals he really cares about are the egg festival, luau and Stardew valley fair. The rest he'll go to because it makes Jas and Marnie happy, but those three he has a passion for

[yumeka-sxf]

My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3

Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.

Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters

There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).

So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅

Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)

Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).

My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂

And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).

This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!

Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!

Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."

He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.

Concept art

Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.

As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.

An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.

Twiyor tidbits

Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂

Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.

Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️

Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.

This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.

Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.

Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)

Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.

Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.

English version omissions

There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.

At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.

And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).

Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.

---

And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!

<- Return to Part 2

[jackiestarsister]

Thoughts while rereading Jane Eyre

I first read Jane Eyre in its entirety when I was in high school, and it has remained one of my all-time favorite books! After reading the Manga Classics adaptation and seeing both the old and new editions of the stage musical, I finally reread it, or rather listened to the audiobook.

These were my thoughts on this reading (with spoilers):

~ Jane’s autobiography begins with the line, “There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.” I take this to mean that if she had taken a walk that day, none of the following events would have happened! John Reed would not have attacked her at that time and place, leading to her traumatic punishment, her meeting with Mr. Lloyd, and going to Lowood Institution.

~ Charlotte Bronte vividly shows the intensity of children’s emotions. I don’t think that was common in British literature at the time!

~ Jane enters and leaves the lives of the Reeds, the Thornfield residents, and the Rivers siblings in very Gothic fashions! I can imagine parts of the story being told from other characters’ perspectives to great dramatic effect.

~ Knowing the whole story, there are many seeds of foreshadowing to be found throughout the story! Great setup and payoff.

~ Jane says about Helen’s grave, “for fifteen years after her death it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet marks the spot.” Jane must have gone back to Lowood when she was about 25, and paid for a fitting monument for her first and life-changing friend!

~ Pilot seems almost like a Disney hero’s sidekick, urging the two love interests to meet each other!

~ Mr. Rochester seems to judge Jane’s character partly by observing how she treats Pilot and Adele, and the contrast against Blanche Ingram’s treatment of them!

~ If Eliza and Georgiana are supposed to represent the extremes of unfeelingness and too effusive feelings, are they basically Eleanor and Marianne Dashwood? I know Charlotte Bronte disliked Pride and Prejudice; maybe she was pushing back against Austen’s other characters too?

~ Rochester actually calls Jane the “adopted daughter” of Mrs. Fairfax and “little English mother” of Adele! I wish this familial dynamic had been brought out more.

~ The impulsive way Jane flees from Thornfield reminds me that she is still a teenager! She does not think of the fact that she has an uncle who wants to give her an inheritance, or of the solicitor’s advice to stay put until she hears news of him. She does not seek help from Mrs. Fairfax or the Leavens family to find a new situation. She might have spared herself a lot of suffering if she had formed a better plan for finding a new home and had her mail forwarded there!

~ St. John, Diana, and Mary Rivers are like a reversed reflection of John, Eliza, and Georgiana Reed—both sets of cousins, but completely opposite dynamics with Jane.

~ Jane’s relationship with St. John Rivers is waaaay more toxic than her relationship with Edward Rochester. Jane can stand her ground with Rochester, who would never force her to do anything she decidedly did not want; but she feels compelled to do whatever St. John tells her, and he urges her to do things against her own desires.

~ Rochester literally loses his eye and hand, just like Jesus says about temptation in Matthew 18:8-9!

~ Jane and Rochester’s relationship is bookended by scenes of her supporting him as he walks!

~ Were the parson and clerk who officiated Jane and Rochester’s marriage the same ones who were at the interrupted wedding?! Unless there was a change in position during the year of separation, they probably were the same ones!

~ My headcanon is that all the Thornfield servants placed bets on how long it would take Jane and Rochester to work things out. This is supported by the innkeeper’s account of how the servants observed Jane and Rochester, and John and Mary’s reactions after they finally get married!

[my-writings-and-musings]

Time for more Earthspark appreciation! This time let's focus on one of my favorite moments with a new character, Nightshade!

Of course, Spoilers if you haven't seen the show!

Nightshade made quite a stir in the fandom and beyond by being the first explicitly nonbinary bot, and everything about their introduction as such is very carefully crafted. I'd like to point out my favorite details while also squeeing about how utterly adorable they and their siblings are.

First, we get three whole new Terrans, and they're all absolutely precious! Not to mention beautifully designed and way taller than their older siblings!

OP is absolutely delighted to see them, and immediately drops closer to their level so he can introduce himself, expressing sincere welcome and asking them their names. Much like Twitch and Thrash, they're not quite sure at first. That tracks pretty well considering they're about five minutes old!

Thankfully Robby and Mo know the drill, and through their connection they're able to help two of their new siblings discover their names.

From this we learn two important things about each bot; their names and their pronouns. Robby introduces Hashtag with she/her, and Mo introduces Jawbreaker as he/him. As an important setup for later, Nightshade introduces themselves with only their name and an incredibly sweet greeting indicating their confused delight at having been brought into existence.

Look at them, precious little bow and everything. I would die for every single Malto but especially them.

Next, it's time for a plan to rescue Dot, and the new additions to the family are eager to help! Optimus takes them all to a rest stop and they begin forming their strategy with what they have on hand. This results in STILL more cuteness.

Lookit that little face and Mo's adorable expression of concentration I simply can't ahhhhhhh this show is non-stop sweetness!

Now onto the scene in question, which I wish I could GIF in HD because there's SO MUCH but here we go!

Nightshade asks to be represented by the bobble head, and looks to Optimus for permission to do so.

Optimus, being a gigantic dad, happily complies - but hesitates when he realizes he doesn't know how to refer to the young bot. He pauses and looks uncertainly to Mo.

Nightshade goes quiet and their optics begin to glow, a sign that they're emoting strongly enough for it to go through their connection. They appear nervous as they look to Mo, sitting more tensely and setting their lip in a line as an unspoken communication compels their big sister to nod in understanding.

Mo speaks for them gently, stating their pronouns with a level of firmness that reads as polite but quite protective. She may only be a fraction of their height, but you can tell she'd fight for her little sibling and their identity. I really have to commend her VA for this and so many other scenes! Nightshade adds a small addendum that he or she simply doesn't fit for them, speaking for themself with the help of their sibling's support.

Optimus, whose respect for pronouns is now canonized, apologizes and makes it a point to address them properly. Nightshade relaxes and the nervous glow in their optics fades as they share another little moment with Mo.

Then my heart simply exploded from the cute.

I know I'm not alone in being incredibly impatient for more Earthspark, but the introduction of Nightshade and the other Terrans has me on the edge of my seat, and moments like this are the reason why! These characters all care so deeply about one another, every moment they're on screen is such a delight. Thank you for geeking out about the little details with me while we wait!

[avorbl]

Avor's Watchlist for weeks 46 + 47

Winter seemingly started early around here. So I need these shows to brighten up fast because freezing temperatures and late fall darkness are depressing enough on their own.

Currently Airing

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart! 11/12 There are some good parts in every episode so I still put them on but most of the episode gets skipped

Love is Like a Poison 10/10

Love Sick 2024 11/15 The series has arrived at the couple era for the main and secondary couples and is moving into the struggles before the end. As was to be expected with such a big cast not all of the stories get the consistent attention to make it a wholly satisfying watch.

Fourever You 8/16 The Bas Maxky story is not working for me and if it wasnt for Ngern Pond and Earth Cooheart I would have dropped this already.

Usotoki Rhetoric 6/10 I love this exploration of what a lie is. Especially since the parameters for the poor gentleman detective comedy have become more established

Light of my Lion 6/11 Its getting deeper and deeper into the definition of family

See Your Love 6/13 The mutual appreciation and the resulting motivation make this a standout feel good show.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days 10/12 Gettingthe promise of a separation and the finalisation for Tan and Liu makes a heartbreaking last act for Xiao and Lu more likely. All being made easier by the youthfullness and care that they show in their interactions.

Bad to Bed 4/10 The weekly look at queer life or queer issues makes this a community building project. I am not sure if it has an overarching narrative.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan 4/10

Our Youth / Miseinen 3/11 Technically and storywise the most enganging right now.

The Nipple Talk 6/10 A more story focused look at queer life and the biases we all carry aound

Fragrance you inherit 3/8 This is building up some layers. I am interested to see how they going to contrast mother and son finding themselves

Caged Again 3/10 This is fun it gives child detective/adventure novel vibes although the rating seems to say there is a bit more in store here

Your Sky 2/12 I am enjoying the dynamic but I am not sure its enough setup to last twelve episodes

The Heart Killers 1/12 There is an excuse of a plot but most of it seems to be situational. Expressionless Joong doesnt do it for me though.

What I am catching up on

Unstoppable High Kick 28/167

The Princess Royal 27/40

Word of Honor 23/36

Fight for My Way 10/16

Playboyy 2/14

Kiss x Kiss x Kiss: Love ii Shower 1/

Still on my watch list

Sell Your Haunted House 5/16

I Feel You Linger in the Air 1/12

She and Her Perfect Husband 20/40

Fermat no Ryori 3/10

Blue Complex 10/?

Tengu no Daidokoro Season 2 2/10

Even if it's just a dream that I'll forget when I wake up 5/8

Stealing from My CEO 16/61

Buddy Boy 5/?

Finished in the last two weeks

Love in the Big City 13.11.24 10/10 A wonderful adaptation that while close to the book in its tweaks seems so much more hopeful and life-affirming.

Smells Like Green Spirit 14.11.24 9/10 Queer coming of age the decisions we make and how they affect us.

Eccentric Romance 14.11.24 6/10 Relies on the murder for the plot but doesnt take it seriously. Which means that it is easy to watch but lacks any kind of impact.

My Best Boyfriend 15.11.24 6/10 They have good chemistry and a good story could have been built on that but it got bogged down by side plots presumably to keep the supporting cast engaged which means that this cliffhanger ending leaves a bad taste and does not really encourage the support the creator is asking for.

My Damn Business 16.11.24 8/10 Entertaining small production. Realising a office fantasy.

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave 21.11.24 8/10 Professionally done Surprisingly sweet Not much substance

Every You, Every Me 24.11.24 8,5/10 Having them go from shorter to longer series showing the progression of their careers and then going into them losing themselves in the job whilst maturing. I wish they would have gone for a more obvious overarching throughline I had fun in the different worlds though.

Dropped in the last two weeks

Kidnap 11/12 eps 15.11.24 5,5/10 I got too bored and barely made though episode 11. And when I tried the last episode it just seemed like a continuation.

[iersei]

THANK YOU for being able 2 put it into words on that post..... despite s2 having so much of my favorite characters (terry jr and scary) i just... have struggled so hard with caring since the seasons been in full swing and it feels like the world in s2 isnt taken as like... genuinely enough i guess? and season two is very funny and entertaining but thats... all it is. any emotional arcs feel quickly forgotten & almost not at all drawn out and it feels like a mess with how often characters are just straight up forgotten,,, i love dndads and there was such a great setup for season two that i think just. fell flat in execution. even when nicky came back anthony admitted he called him nick Foster because he wasnt thinking at all about it and didnt care, and like. at a certain point even in a d&d setting you have to care about the characters youre making plot relevant at least a little bit, and suddenly the close family arc had nothing to do with season 1 and instead everything to do with stuff that happened completely offscreen (and again, once the dads were charting around with their kids they were often forgotten & added little to any scenes) just. it all got a little careless.

and im not caught up but ive heard about so much junk that happens in the... less than 10 episodes im behind on?? like i JUST got to the titanic part and it ends, what, 9 episodes later ??? i just wish it was more organized and theyd allowed themselves to like. take their time with things. i know the 20 or whatever episodes of glenns arc in s1 is known as 'too long' or super hard to get through but thats also how it made such an impact!! there was ALOT to get through and a lot happened to the close family. yet when alot happens in s2 its like, well that happened, and in an episode and a half it will never be mentioned again . even supporting npcs especially with a lot of potential dont stick around unlike characters like paeden or walter or even erin who got her own wrap up like. i dont remember the last time anyone even mentioned mae hails. yeah theres a degree that its messy and unorganized because thats how teenagers are but theres only so far that goes. and im pretty forgiving in d&d settings because 90% of what actually happens is up to random chance but theres a difference between 'this isnt good because im not actually writing it, and i dont have total control over this story' versus 'this isnt that good because we're not playing it that good'.

anyways. um. hero oak swallows garcia i hope i see you again soon 👍

I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO BE JOKING ABOUT HOW RECENT THE TITANIC WAS UNTIL I WENT BACK TO CHECK THE EPISODE LIST AND. NO. NO, YOU WEREN'T JOKING. THERE'S ONLY 10 EPISODES AFTER THE TITANIC IN THE WHOLE SEASON. WHAT THE FUCK.

these kids really never had any time to rest, and it's actively hurting the narrative tension to the point that i just want them to be left alone </3

i can't fucking believe that they didn't care enough about nicky's whole deal to not even think about the implications of everything that happened to him. that felt like it should've been a core aspect of his character! and they just didn't care!! about that aspect of his family dynamic!!

i think that, at the end of season 1, the close family and the oak family had dynamics where it was understandable for issues to pop up offscreen. and i do think the underlying threads made sense to a degree! but it was so thoroughly unexplored in both families that it just made even more of a mess and all the characters involved suffered for it.

and i'm gonna be honest. i completely forgot about mae hails. man. man.

they all deserved so much better.

[imthepunchlord]

Different nonnie, but Liiri always looked like a cute but bland little nugget to me, so I totally get liking Ying Ying’s character design better. The red-and-yellow glowing color palette that all the Renlings have made it harder to appreciate square-on, so I’m glad you’re switching the colors up too.

Your full answer to that ask reminds me, concerning which of your Miraculous WIPs you’d want to use this three-tier Miraculous setup on, you could honestly just have the Wish made by someone using the canon Ladybug and Black Cat in any of the MULTIPLE in-show close calls up to this point and then just alter and/or rewind reality from there, because SCREW all the unnecessary changes, additions, and retcons that this show’s lore has pulled over the last five seasons. The Prodigious, Order of the Guardians, Native American Miraculous, Miraculous potions, time travel, and so on were obviously far too complex ideas for the ML crew to handle properly, and now they’ve decided to delve even further into the idea of alternate universes for the upcoming Miraculous Paris special on top of all of that, so forget it, might as well use the one still-useful canon-established setup of a Wish to clean it all up so you can use your new lineup in any idea you want. After Wish AU? An accidental dual-Wish is already built into the premise, with Adrien wanting things to be different and Marinette rejecting that, and you get to play with the PV world’s interesting plot setups, a main cast whose characters are slightly to-the-left in terms of personality and looks, and a Marinette who remembers everything contrasting an Adrien who remembers nothing. Off to Italy AU? Maybe it’s later in Season 4 or 5 where Marinette is just tired and she Wishes she had gotten the chance to be a hero with actual support and/or really live her life with trustworthy friends and family at the start of it all, with both the Miraculous powers and her grandmother’s availability to take her to live in Milan with her shifting accordingly. Fortune Favors the Brave AU? Maybe Alya swipes Chat Noir’s Miraculous in Hack-san during their brief introduction-tussle and has the “bright” idea of making the Wish to make herself the Ladybug hero from the beginning only to find that a) main hero life is a lot harder than it’s cracked up to be, b) she’s now one of the five most powerful instead of the two most powerful as Karma for making the Wish without considering others, pressing the importance of teamwork in this new life even more than in the old one, and c) her new kwami is understandably NOT happy about how Alya not only betrayed her former owner’s trust but also reset the universe’s established power balances due to her Wish being too broad. And these are just three examples off the top of my head. All this to say that you’ve been a wonderful part of the fandom even if you don’t interact with it as much anymore, and I don’t think you’ll have to worry too much about which idea to fit your new Miraculous system into when the time comes given your writing track record. With all the grief that the canon plot has given you and everyone else, it’s only fair that you get to use its built-in Deus ex machina to your advantage.

I'll say that chances are I wouldn't do an After Wish au for a lot of the ideas, cause most I want to work off starting off fresh and no one having any recollection of a previous timeline and acting like this is the norm.

Like, the Off to series would have this set up since "Lady Lion" would be a character for Off to Milan, and Pixie Girl or Butterfly Girl will have Mantis. And Off to London, Sebastian the waiter is planned to have Songbird.

So Off to series will either be splitting up the Bagua set or it'll be all randomized on where Miraculous are, and Fu only has a few.

But After Wish au could happen for some ideas, especially since I do like @nobodyfamousposts Lament ideas and their take on the Wish. How the new reality deals with you can depend on your actions, where fighting against the new setting and not liking the changes makes things worse for you, and how rough a set up you'll have can depend on how selfish or selfless a Wish is. It's a fun set up and scenario to think about.

And oh yeah, full agree with all the choices and directions the show went. I'm certain a lot of it came down to doing what other superhero studios were doing. Like Marvel is trying to get the multiverse going and DC dabbled in it with that Flash movie, so clearly ML has to do it too! Which, I will say, there is potential in playing with the multiverse. Back when the show just started, this was the show for aus. Any au you could think of existed. ML being a tv show and the cast are all actors, kwami swap au, inverse/pastel au that just swapped or changed up their colors, personality swaps, life swaps, reverse love square, enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers, ect..

So Ml could work off the multiverse and have fun with it, but that does require creativity and a passion for the show, which given their lazy or odd choices, you got to wonder how invested they are.

[loquaciousstrigidae]

This Is How I Would Fix Sword Art Online 

I will be quite frank—I do not like this anime. Long ago, I had watched it and disliked it and to this day my opinions have not faltered. Perhaps they have festered, even. 

I want to be forgiving of this anime to say that the concept of Sword Art Online has potential. I think that is why disappointment stirs within me when I think of these character developments, plot points, and world-building details.  

The virtual world of SAO and its entrapment of people’s consciousness is supposed to be a social experiment, yes? That is the show's strongest and most central aspect, yet we are robbed of any thoughtful analysis of it. When plots seem to hint at something deeper, we as the audience are only left in that shallow pool of wish fulfillment and fan service. Ah, so there are newer players that hold resentment toward the beta testers? Let’s antagonize them in favor of our edgy lone-wolf protagonist! It’s not as if that could be an interesting piece of commentary if focused on for longer than five minutes of screen time. Yui, the emotional support AI, has watched countless minds in torment longing for their loved ones? Yes, a quick montage should do the trick! I am bewildered that these topics simply get pushed to our periphery while our main characters simply vacation at some lake house. 

This series would be worlds better if it were an anthology.  

Consider—each episode takes the perspective of a new character trapped in the SAO virtual reality. Of course, it could still progress chronologically, and there can still be the undercurrent of a panoptic plot. However, a vast range of characters would much better fit the scope of the social experiment setup. We, dare I say, could actually see the experiment in action. There could be a number of different plots—from a more fleshed-out murder mystery to politically charged discourse between the most powerful guilds. We could see how the children trapped in this world struggled without their families and eventually formed ‘the orphanage’ that we see in later episodes. There could be more emphasis on players left in the wake of the more skilled fighters. There could be an episode dedicated to Yui in which we see her grapple with what it means to be an artificial being—to have empathy encoded within you with the inability to distinguish whether it is real or not. To be a walking contradiction. 

What is reality? Such a question is not sufficiently considered within what I’ve watched. It is touched upon—Asuna says she is beginning to feel that all her life has been within the simulation. She and Kirito share in the reality of their connection to each other and the beauty of the world and we begin to see a glimpse of that rabbit hole. Why simply attribute meaning to the realm in which we call ‘real’ when just as well, lives can be fulfilling—or even more fulfilling—in an imitated world.  

I think I will rate this anime 3.5/10.

[femmefatalevibe]

hi femme, how are you? <3

i am currently 18, and probably experiencing some growing pains but i don’t know what to do… i’m too attached and dependent on my mum. my mum is my best friend, i feel like my child self when i was scared to be away from my parents i feel kinda empty if i’m not around my mum and i’m scared that i’ll have to be surrounded by other people who are not my mum because i love her so much but i don’t want to burden her or be desperate, i feel like my mum is getting tired of me and it hurts. i also feel bad because she is always there for me and i don’t want everything to just be about me, i want her to also rely on me, instead i feel like i’m so codependent and attached to my mother and i feel like i’m annoying. i don’t know how to express myself in a way that doesn’t seem clingy and i can’t explain it either like she’s my mother most people do everything they can to get away from their parents but i love her so much and i don’t want to be away from her for long and i wish that i could be always with her for the rest of my life. unfortunately i am moving out of home in september, and going abroad and i know she has her own life but all i feel is like that 5 year old child how loves and is pretty much physically and emotionally attached to her mother, like those kinds who hold onto their parents legs in public because they are too scared to be apart from them and don’t want to be around anyone else… this is probably pathetic but i just need some advice because i feel like this is probably excessive and i hate feeling empty whenever i am not with her…

thank you <333

Hi love! Fortunately, you're still young and self-aware of the codependency issue before you've gone off to live on your own. Moving abroad is intimidating if not scary for anyone your age, so that makes complete sense! While I'm by no means a therapist or licensed health professional/psychologist (someone you should probably speak to about this), here's my take and some advice I can offer on the situation:

First off, I would say that, at 18, you should have your own schedule and activities you do independently of your mom and family every day. Some ideas include:

Spending your morning alone reading, working out, having coffee/breakfast, journaling

Taking a walk/going to a workout class/lunch with a friend

Getting a part-time job or remote internship over the summer to learn some practical skills and how to work independently in the "real world"

Make your own decisions regarding most meals of the day (I know a lot of families have dinner together if everyone lives at home), when to go shopping/when to run errands or do chores

Some other suggestions I have include:

Schedule a set time of day or dates throughout the week to connect with your mom. Have a standing catch-up time either at the end of the day or for a weekend brunch, a weekly dinner out just the two of you, etc.

Take time to reflect on your personal values and the person you want to become as you begin this new chapter of your life. How would you describe your independent identity outside of your mom & family? What are your ultimate life/career aspirations? What do you plan on studying in school? What are your likes and dislikes, favorite activities/fields of study? What does your ideal social circle and social life look like? How would you describe your personal style, food preferences, lifestyle habits, decor setup, favorite books, music, and TV shows? What character traits and qualities would you use to describe your personality?

Consider healthy boundaries you can set to support your well-being. If you know that your over-reliance on your mom is an issue, speak to her about how you're aware that you're very dependent on her, appreciate her time and efforts (while this is her job as a parent – don't feel guilty about your mom providing healthy emotional and instrument support), you know that it is best for both of you to define some boundaries as you're growing and moving away. Some potential boundaries to set are how often you two hang out throughout the day (I need time and space between X hour and X hour in the morning & evenings), certain tasks you want to complete independently, and specific activities you decide to do with friends or alone throughout the week.

Join a club, team, or organization that allows you to socialize with university-aged peers, so you can develop more healthy interpersonal and social skills with people outside your family. Hopefully, a couple of them become your friends in the process!

Read some books on self-discovery, confidence-building, and other life skills/traumas you're healing from. I recommend Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future and Confidence & Assertive Skills for Women: How to become a Strong, Independent, Confident Woman in the Modern World come to mind. Maybe also try a self-discovery/shadow work journal as a self-learning and identity/confidence-building practice.

Hope this helps xx

[littlemisssquiggles]

LittleMissSquiggles’ Summary of Art 2023

Honestly folks, I don't got much to say about this year. This might just be my shortest art summary to date since I don't have much to comment on this year's events.

2023 was a general mix of highs and lows but overall, not a bad year. You could say that this was the year I was more work-oriented.

I focused more on work especially during the early half of this year, between January and July and therefore didn't spend much time on personal projects; specifically 3D. That being said, I did end up getting back up to my art. Since I've been more focused on 3D for the past two years, I chose this year to get back into my 2D art doing illustrative work since I missed it.

More than that, I took this year to spend some well needed time improving my drawing skills, using tools and techniques from my 3D workflow in an attempt to improve my illustrative work and needless to say, I think it worked out great, even if the end results wasn't much.

---

Some squiggly good accomplishments I achieved in 2023:

Started the year employed and while I had to juggle two job opportunities which had its fair share of ups and downs in more ways than one, at least it allowed me the chance to earn the funds I needed to obtain my new workstation: a Lenovo Ideacentre 5 Gaming PC.

Learned about the almighty power of networking and remote desktops thanks to my contract job which allowed to me to transform my current setup into one that fully connects and maximizes the full use of all the devises in my arsenal. Basically I figured out how to connect my previous laptop to my new PC so now I work with a setup where my laptop acts as a third monitor for my PC while I'm able to access all my files from my laptop from my PC. Ontop of that, I also learnt how to connect my PC to my Ipad Mini, not just for transferring files for art but for also using it as a proxy computer device to remote into my main PC workstation. This may not seem like a big deal to most but for someone who didn't know a thing about most of this stuff up until this year, it makes a huge difference to this squiggle meister.

Gained a new four-legged member to the squiggle meister family household. A playfully mischievous yet adorable Husky-mix pup fittingly named Alaska or the "Wee Las" as I like to call her.

Experimented a lot with my art this year and while I may not have shared all of the fruits of my labour to social media, I have been making quite a few strides. ---- I spent the last couple of years pushing my social media presence and while I have benefitted from it from time to time, I missed out on just taking some time to myself; getting back to indulging in other activities that brought me joy; particularly the ones that involve truly honing my craft.

I hope to maintain this type of vibe moving forward towards the new year.

Even if my social media activity won't be as frequent as previous years, I do hope that those who have been following and supporting me and my work over years still continue to do so, even if it's to simply just check in from time to time.

To conclude my post, as always, I'm wishing everyone all the very, very best in their respective lives and daily endevours for the upcoming new year.

Let see what we got in store for 2024! Happy New Year folks!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

♦  PREVIOUS ART SUMMARIES  ♦

2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

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LittleMissSquiggles (2023)

[misericordel]

the "other lady veyle" meta

— aka veyle’s relationship with her fell dragon blood and what the hell even IS this “other lady veyle” shit

from the beginning of veyle’s introduction and reveal i’ve always wondered why the other lady veyle acts that way. why does she love to see people suffer? well i think it’s actually more than just zephia’s magic or the “inherent nature” of a fell dragon at work. i do believe that zephia's magic drew out the negative emotions and feelings in veyle’s mind, with a bit of fell influence.

bear with me here as this is going to get pretty long, since i intend you use multiple quotes from the script in order to back up my thoughts.

 at first, i just put it off as zephia’s magic influence making her evil and that’s that— it’s a convenient setup for her character, but i think there’s more to it than just ~* oooo evil magic ooooo *~.

i believe that the personality of the other lady veyle is a derivative of her desire for family and to have a parent who loves her again. first, i’m going to talk about her mother for a bit.

from what we know of her mother, veyle’s mom was incredibly kind and sweet to her and a powerful mage dragon.

chapter 25 — veyle speaking about her mother

“She was kind. And affectionate. And there was so much love within her. But she died before I could truly appreciate what I had. She always did the best she could to keep me safe. And she told me that if Papa ever broke free… If he did, and if he started doing terrible things ─ as his family─ I had to find a way to stop him.”

clearly veyle had a loving parental figure in her life for a long time, but she was eventually persecuted for being a mage dragon and mating with sombron.

hortensia’s support — veyle speaking about her mother

She was also the Fell Dragon's mate. Humans hated her for it and persecuted her. She died.

after her mother died, she was completely alone. all she had left from her mother was her own dragonstone and her mission to stop sombron if he ever broke free and did horrible shit. veyle notably buried her dragonstone, which i headcanon to be after she transformed out of an explosion of (negative) emotions and injured a good amount of people after they killed her mother and persecuted veyle too for being a fell dragon.  i personally believe that veyle buried her dragonstone with her mother after everything was over. (see this drabble here)

hortensia's support — veyle 

When I didn't age, the humans knew what I was, and they persecuted me too. It was...terrible.

now, with that in mind, by all means veyle should have ended up incredibly depressed and lonely. wishing vengeance on humans, etc. etc. there is one shining moment in her life that kept her the way she is now, and that’s her meeting with her sibling (alear).

chapter 16 — speaking to zephia about her sibling’s dragonstone

“A thousand years ago, I was crying and one of my siblings gave it to me. I remember it well. "Even though I can't stay with you, I'll always be your friend. If you're sad or lonely, remember...if this stone is intact, that means I'm still alive.”

chapter 20 — mauvier speaking about veyle to alear

“All this time, Lady Veyle has been sustained by a desire to meet her sibling.”

this is something that kept her going for a long fucking time. her sibling promised to always be her friend even if they were separated. as long as the stone was still intact, it would mean they were still alive. this meant everything to veyle after losing her mother, her only friend in her life. she could look at the dragonstone and know that she still had someone in this world that cared for her no matter what.

but, that doesn’t completely eliminate her loneliness or her desire for family again, unfortunately. it’s a long while after she meets her sibling that she meets the fell dragon worshipers. 

chapter 21 — mauvier talking about veyle’s past

Mauvier

“Then Sombron was imprisoned and Lady Veyle's mother died, leaving her alone. She could find no friends in an age when it was rumored a last Fell Dragon child had survived. Lady Veyle lived in hiding, knowing that─were she discovered─she would be killed.”

Alear 

“A thousand years, living like that... All alone that whole time?”

Mauvier

“Not exactly. A few centuries ago, she came into contact with worshippers of the Fell Dragon... In their care, she slept in a hidden temple─until Lord Sombron's release. She had been, long ago, close with those in that temple. But when she recently awoke…”

Alear

“They were all dead, weren't they…”

Mauvier

“So, Lady Veyle was relieved, even overjoyed, to find herself reunited with Lord Sombron. He detested her and proclaimed her a defect lacking a Fell Dragon's abilities and character. Sombron required her obedience, however, so he ordered Zephia to tamper with her nature. [...]”

so my version, including my interpretation and headcanons, of what went down is that veyle transformed into a dragon and went on a rampage. after realizing she had killed a few of the humans, she went into hiding and was both afraid to kill anyone and get killed herself. thankfully, she was able to find fell dragon worshippers who liked her — if only because she was a fell dragon (and boy did that fuck up her self esteem). unfortunately that didn’t last long, as she was back to being alone again when she woke up centuries later.

mauvier goes onto mention that she was incredibly happy to be reunited with sombron again. that was her family! even though her mother had warned her about her papa, she was so devastated by the repeated loss of people close to her that she was desperate for any sort of familial affection. she wanted her papa to like her and love her. she just wanted that figure in her life. 

chapter 25 — speaking about facing sombron

I am. I'm not afraid to stand up to him. I was so lonely, I couldn't admit it, but... he stopped being my father long ago. There's no bond left to break.

veyle speaks up directly about how lonely she was pretty often. to the point that she just wanted sombron to acknowledge her as her, not as a defect. she literally just wanted a loving parent like her mother again.

chapter 22 — in the afterlife with alear

I tried so hard. I wanted Papa to look at me and not see a defect. I wanted him to forget about the other worlds and just be with me. I'd always think, "If only I tried harder..." But it never mattered! I kept getting crushed over and over…

we know too that sombron isn’t really a caring father like. at all. it’s pretty easy to tell from just face value, but veyle also remarks about how they never spent time together here.

chapter 26 — veyle facing sombron

[... ] We never spent time together as father and daughter, like I wanted.

it’s mentioned that zephia uses her magic on veyle in order to tamper with her kind and innocent nature (and directly seen in the game lol). now this is where the other lady veyle comes into play. if veyle wasn’t so lonely and hadn’t suffered repeatedly from the loss of people she cared about, i actually don’t think zephia’s magic would not have worked on her. or at least had very little effect.

zephia merely manipulated the feelings of loneliness and desire to prove herself that were already there.

so, with all that in mind, why does the other lady veyle act so cruelly and delight in the pain of the others? well, part of it is clearly zephia’s magic at play. the other part is that she wanted her father to actually look at her and spend time with her. she was also incredibly lonely as mentioned, and so the other lady veyle is more actively bitter in her place in life. the other lady veyle has remarked about how lonely she is to alear as well. the other lady veyle is also  actively insecure about her place next to her father, seen here.

chapter 21 — the other lady veyle talking about emblem marth to alear

His fellow Emblems, stolen away. You turned your back on him. Oh, lonely thing. Just like me. But I'm here for you, little Emblem. I'm all you need. Now, had I known I had a sibling who survived the years...I would have killed you. I'd like to make sure I'm my Father's one and only child.”

“you turned your back on him. oh lonely thing. just like me” is most definitely a reference to the humans turning their backs on her when they persecuted her mother (and perhaps to all the fell dragon worshippers dying while she was asleep). her insecurity about her place next to her father is also seen here, with the way she threatens that she would have killed her sibling if she knew they survived. part of this is a cruelty thing, but the other part is the fact that she’s a defect. the other lady veyle definitely understands this. if she was his only child left, then she didn’t have to worry about being cast aside again. 

problem = fell dragon sibling still alive and they can summon emblems

solution = kill them and then i can have papa all to myself and he won’t cast me aside :D yayy

i’m not sure where else to put this, but i do also think that veyle being so cruel and inflicting so much pain on others (mostly humans) is because of what she experienced after her mother died. they reacted to her and treated her cruelly, so why shouldn’t the humans get the same treatment? type thing. it would make sense that the divine dragon is included in this treatment then, since they are an obstacle to her being loved by her father.

now. here is the most damning evidence i actually have, in regards to the other lady veyle just being a negative extension of veyle’s already existing feelings. these lines right here.

chapter 22 —the other lady veyle fighting against the real veyle

Shut your mouth! You are nothing but a defect! Mark my words, you quivering little baby! [... ] I don't want to go! Help me, Father! I beg of you!”

first, you can see proof that the other lady veyle genuinely believes she is a defect. however, the more important part here is the plead for sombron to help her. this isn’t evil magic dragon speaking. this is a little girl who has lost so many people she cared about. this is a little girl who is scared to die, and in her last moments looks to sombron— her dad.  — to help her. to actually be a father to her and keep her safe and loved.

the other lady veyle reacts and acts cruelly in so many ways, but in her last moment, she just wanted her father. which is kind of really sad, if you think about it.

the whole time all she wanted was to be loved and respected. but sombron casts her away just like that.

and then after that we have veyle returning from the Death Void with renewed vigor and ambition. it would make sense that veyle is able to break the helmet at exactly this point. she was able to talk with alear about how lonely she was and how much despair she faced, and that she could finally die in peace and happiness now that she was reunited with her sibling.

chapter 22 — veyle speaking to alear in the afterlife(?)

Hey. Why don't we fall asleep...together? The world will end with or without us. And...I feel happy because I finally found you.

then alear tells veyle to revive him as a corrupted, and we get this 

chapter 22 — same thing

Alear

My friends told me it doesn't matter where you're from. What's important is how you live. How you live and what you do shapes your future. So...who do you want to become?

Veyle

I've never thought about that. But if it were possible for me to change now, I suppose… I'd want to be like you. I'd want to become a dragon who saves the world.

THIS. this is is so important. alear, her sibling, is the first person(dragon?) in centuries to see her for who she is, not  for a fell dragon. (mauvier is a derivative of the fell dragon worshippers and one of the four hounds so he doesn't really count here) the last time anyone made her feel like this was when her mother was alive.  alear literally gives her active motivation to live again.

her motivation this whole time was the dragonstone and her sibling being alive. she found her sibling again, so naturally that was the end of her motivation to live right? she didn’t need anything else, in her mind. but alear gives her more than that this second time alive. alear gives her the chance to be herself, not a fell dragon.

so it makes incredible sense for me that veyle is able to come back and destroy the helmet here.

and that’s the end of the other lady veyle. however, i also wanted to touch on the lack of memories that veyle has when it comes to her actions as the other lady veyle.

chapter 17 — the other lady veyle speaking to alear

“You know, seeing as how I don't share memories with that pathetic little girl…”

WARNING below for discussions of some heavy stuff regarding childhood PTSD and DID. please caution when reading if this can affect you negatively.

to me, veyle’s other self was born out of childhood PTSD and, with a help of a little dark magic in the fire emblem universe, dissociative identity disorder. veyle watching her mother die and then being persecuted herself, as while as losing so many people in her life and being treated so cruelly attributes to the development of her childhood PTSD.

veyle mentions more than once the loss of memories. the other lady veyle doesn’t have memories of the “regular” veyle, and the “regular” veyle doesn’t have memories of the other lady veyle. loss of memory is a very common issue when it comes to alters, and alters commonly do not have access to the host’s memories when they aren’t in control.

it would make sense then, that veyle’s loss of memories is a result of her “other self”. i did some research on the type of alters that DID systems can have and it's of my firm belief that the other self is veyle’s persecutor alter, born from the harsh treatment and persecution she faced from both humans and her own family. persecutor alters often start out as protector alters then turn into persecutor alters, which aligns with veyle here. they're also violent against the host and often physically and mentally abusive towards the host and towards those around them. basically everything from the page i linked points to her alter being a persecutor alter.

in the game, the persecutor alter (other lady veyle) supposedly dies after she breaks the helmet. i don’t actually think she dies, but rather goes dormant. of course, there aren’t really words to explain the DID system in the fire emblem universe, so veyle is most definitely completely unaware of all of this. as far as she’s aware, the “other lady veyle” was just zephia’s dark magic and that’s it.

with the realization that the other lady veyle is actually her persecutor alter, i do also believe that the “other lady veyle” is not completely gone, or dead as the game likes to have you believe. if she was in enough peril similar to what was inflicted on her by sombron and humans, and with a little bit of dark magic most likely, then her persecutor alter could most certainly come back.

important note — though i have experience with mental health disorders myself, i do not have DID and anything presented here is just as result of extensive research of both the engage script as well as how systems and alters work and form. please please please dm me if any of my portrayal is either wrong, offensive, or insensitive to DID systems in any way and i will rework the theory according to your advice. thank you!

you've reached the end of this meta! thanks for reading!

[lightning-writes]

good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 15/30

fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy

chapter summary: bucky spends thanksgiving alone…

word count: 972

tags: sad!bucky, post endgame, pre tfatws, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: sad!bucky, character death mention, grief, holidays

a/n: part 1 of bucky's thanksgiving is very lonely :(

AO3 MASTERLIST X

November 24 (Part 1)

Rue: hey if you don’t have plans, you should stop by tmrw 10:43 pm

Rue: if you want, no pressure 10:43 pm

Rue: its just me and a few friends 10:45 pm

Rue: dinner’s at 5 10:43 pm

Despite Raynor’s strong suggestion earlier this week, Bucky spends a lot of Thanksgiving alone.

George had cut him a key, so he goes to Fogwell’s before it opens. As he leaves, George is coming in, with a coffee and a newspaper tucked under his arm. He looks bashful, admitting he needed a place to read in peace. When he invites Bucky to have Thanksgiving dinner with his family, Bucky thanks him but says he has plans. 

He takes a run from the Lower East side to home, usually an hour, but he does it in half the time. He tries to go to the support group again, but when he sees the communal eating setup, he leaves without being seen. He spends a few hours reading. He’s rereading The Hobbit, remembering how he and his sister shared a copy. He still creases the bottom of the page because Becca used to dog-ear the top.

(He texts Evie. It’s his luck that she works at a motel in Bushwick, and she has a break in thirty minutes. When he gets there, she says she only has twenty minutes; he says he doesn’t need that long.

He fucks her unceremoniously over the side of an unmade bed, her face pressed into the mattress. He tries not to have any thoughts other than the feeling of her, and his body connecting with hers. He knows he’s bruising her hip, fingers digging into her flesh when he comes, and she cries oh my god.

She asks him if he wants to hang out this weekend. He wonders if she knows who he really is, or even his name. He tells her he’ll text her.)

He finds himself at the address Rue sent him. Hands shoved into his leather jacket pockets, he sees her through the window as he walks up the front steps. The dining room is warm and lit and already donning Christmas decorations. She’s laughing with her friends, wearing a dark green dress, a wild halo of hair because it's pulled up. She raises her wine glass, full, saying something that makes the others laugh, then they all drink. She finishes her glass, leaning into the person next to her, still deep in laughter.

Anxiety prickles the edges of his consciousness, tunneling him in. Even though her invitation was kind, he now wonders if it’s out of pity. If she pities the old man with no family and no friends. He also knows he won’t fit in with these trendy young people she’s surrounded by, messing up things he’s heard about, like ‘pronouns’ and ‘preferred names’.

(He gets it, he just sucks at remembering.)

He takes a step down and wishes he could just see her, just her, but he knows that’s unfair.

He jogs down the steps before anyone notices, intending to walk home. He’s a few steps in when he gets an idea.

////

The sun is setting when Bucky takes a handle of Jack Daniels to the Green-Wood cemetery. Steve’s mausoleum is there.

Already a good portion into the bottle, Bucky feels like he’s the only person to truly know Steve. The Steve Rogers he knew and grew up with would have never wanted this gaudy construction to be his last resting place. He never wanted a big show of his life or, now, his death. He’d want a simple grave, a simple tombstone, next to his parents.

But, Bucky has realized already, this is America, land of upholding image over last wishes. Steve’s will asked to have his parents and Bucky’s family re-housed in his mausoleum – and that’s all Steve received.

(Bucky pays respects to Joseph and Sarah. He cries when he sees his mother’s name next to his father’s. Steve and Bucky’s lives had always mirrored each other, having military dads and sick mothers. Bucky had Becca, but she’d been sent to boarding school shortly after their parents had died. Bucky was all Steve had then. Steve was all Bucky had now.)

Bucky takes a long drink from the bottle as he stands in front of Steve’s grave. Son, Soldier, Avenger, American Hero. Bucky scoffs, undeterred by the burn of the alcohol.

“You’re such a punk,” he finally says. The crack in his voice echos. “Why did you get to leave, and I’m still here?”

He takes another long drink and splashes some on the concrete. He’s on his knees now, feeling defeated. If someone saw him, they’d think he was crying out to God.

“...haven’t I suffered enough?”

////

It’s after ten o’clock when Bucky gets back to his apartment. Between the cemetery to his apartment, the drunk feeling he felt had dried up. He nearly feels sick - not hungover, just a deep ache in his stomach, or maybe his chest. Maybe his heart. He feels grimy too.

He sends Rue an apology text before he takes another shower. He feels bad about not taking her up on her invitation. She didn’t have to invite him, even if it were for pity, but really, what was he going to do at a dinner party full of strangers from a different time? He feels like he made the right decision for himself, for once.

He pushes his wet hair out of his face to look down at his fogged phone screen. He’d heard the chime as he’d been washing his hair. He rubs the phone against his toweled hip and sees the notification that makes his heart jump.

Rue: come over anyway 10:34 pm

He frowns, checking the time again. Maybe she’s confused… or drunk. Maybe she was caught in something she didn’t want to be caught in. His throat tightens.

Bucky: Now? 10:51 pm

Three bouncing dots appear.

Rue: Yes 10:52 pm

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 8 Ep. 183: In Honor of a Man Law Born

When Chance returned from overseeing Jack’s passing into the ever after, the cloud of sadness at the old homestead was worse than he’d imagined.

He did what he could to comfort the grieving family, offering his deepest condolences and help with anything they needed. Peachy thanked their good friend for everything as he took Jack’s urn and a small, sealed envelope addressed to him from his late husband, tucking them both in his inventory.

Tears spung to Luigi’s eyes even as he smiled at his Papa’s final gift to him. As Chance and Jack had hoped, the simple island landscape puzzle assembled in his last hours reminded his boy of all the wonderful father and son outdoor adventure memories they had made together.

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With the reminder that he could swing by the homestead any time if they thought of anything they needed, Chance left the family to their breakfast.

Valentina did her best to suppress her own grief and help the boys process theirs. Remembering how talking about everyday things had helped Peachy deal with his parents’ death, she asked Luigi about school and his little legacy family in Sims Forever. Unfortunately, Luigi’s lackluster first day at Cooperdale High had been his final sad conversation with his Papa, and his happy virtual family only reminded him of how unhappy his real family was.

The hurt teen lashed out at Valentina to “mind her own business”, which started a fight with his father. Valentina sat sadly between the arguing Sims, feeling as if she’d let Jack down. Her attempt to help had instead seemed to make things worse.

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Tempers had cooled by that evening as friends and family gathered in Magnolia Blossom Park for Jack’s memorial service.

Peachy had arranged with Chief Fabian to give a lovely eulogy honoring his husband’s lifelong passion for the law. Old coworkers from both the precinct and S.I.M.S. showed up to pay their respects and share stories about Jack. He had always done what he felt was right, no matter what it cost him personally. His spirit of selflessness and talent for helping others improve was a rare gift that had made their nation a brighter and happier place.

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Of course, Jack had eventually left work to focus on his family, and Peachy took Fabian’s place at the podium to bring all his old friends up to date on the many ways Jack had spent the final stage of his life being the best husband and father anyone could ever ask for.

The professional comedian wove humor into the stories about Jack’s unwavering support through Peachy’s push to become chief of police and his unexpectedly problematic pregnancy. He pulled both tears and laughs from the crowd as he described Jack’s devotion to his loved ones and the strong bond he’d forged with their young son. When he released the crowd to the bar setup in the picnic area, everyone was ready to celebrate Jack’s life.

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As the guests shared stories of the departed around the bar stocked with all Jack’s favorite nectars from the family farms, Luigi kept busy pouring drinks.

The teen was happy to have something to do with his hands and an excuse to keep his head down, hiding the tears leaking out of his eyes. Hearing all the ways Papa Jack had touched these nectar relaxed friends and stranger’s lives was helping him learn a lot about sides of his Papa he hadn’t known.

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Back at home Valentina wished the boys goodnight, giving them some privacy as they placed Jack’s headstone to rest with the other family ghosts.

For a while the two men silently wished their beloved husband and father goodbye, lost in their own thoughts and remembrances.

Then, suddenly, Peachy wrapped his boy in a giant hug, promising to always be there for him. Luigi squeezed his father tight in return and made his own promise to live up to the memory of his righteous forebearer, determined to make Peachy and the ghost of Papa Jack proud.

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Each then headed their separate ways, with Luigi hanging the framed island puzzle on his bedroom wall above the computer where he would see it every day, thanking his Papa one more time for all the wonderful memories they had shared before heading to bed.

Peachy, assured of privacy with everyone else asleep, sat down in his office and opened the envelope chance had given him that morning. Jack had written a sweet love letter, thanking his husband for sharing with him a life that had filled his heart with joy beyond his wildest imaginings. Also included was a flash drive on which, he wrote, was a song that he hoped would show his husband just how very much he meant to him.

Peachy took a deep breath and popped the drive into the computer, tears filling his eyes once again as the final symbol of Jack’s love surrounded him.

🎶If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is to save every day till eternity passes away just to spend them with you🎶

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Want To See More? View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[bullfrawgs]

Steven Universe Season 4 Update, Episodes 11-24: In which Kino recognizes they’re hyperfixating on a children’s cartoon, before a rude awakening. (Certain Episode counts list Gem Harvest as either 2 episodes or 1, I already called it a single episode in the previous post and I’m keeping up with that plan).

Goal is to keep this under 1000 words. Wish me luck. (P.S. this was 1200 words on the dot)

Adventures in Light Distortion, Gem Heist, The Zoo, and That Will Be All (which constitute 4 of the episodes from Steven Bomb 5) feel like they should be talked about as a grouping. I don’t think those episodes ever reach the heights of the previous episode, but they still go a long way in pushing Steven toward his theoretical breaking point. Adventures in Light Distortion especially, those 30 seconds where he’s reconciling with the possibility that they are in fact all about to die are heartbreaking yet exceptional. The rest of the story has some nice moments (Blue Diamond has some exceptional characterization, really like that character) like all of the amethysts trying to act as emotional support to the Zoo Humans, but in the end I think the arc kinda peaked early, not that the remaining episodes were bad or anything.

The New Crystal Gems: I love this basic setup of the side characters all trying to fill the shoes of the main cast for a short period of time. Reminds me a lot of the Avengers Earth’s Mightiest Heroes episode with Spider-Man, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and War Machine as the Avengers. Or the Loadingreadyrun internet Sitcom CommodoreHustle, with its episode The Bee Team (which is unfortunately just shy of becoming lost media but I digress). I love these side characters’ dynamics, especially since I like all 3 of Connie Peridot and Lapis more than Pearl or Amethyst. One does wonder why Peridot needs to lift the cars in order for them to get washed but hey it’s a visual spectacle and she is imitating the always stylish Garnet. (P.S. Lapis’ Hair covering one of her eyes to mimic Amethyst looked super hot and she should have kept it)

Storm in the Room: Jeeze, this episode. I’ve been waiting for this episode. Steven is right and he should say it. I especially love the contrast of him being there to keep Connie from having a panic attack to the immediate cut to the cold depressed atmosphere of Steven alone. This boy needs hugs and a better family. Impeccable directing on this episode. Maybe the most important episode of the batch but I don’t really have much to add to the episode itself. (The Lucy and Charlie Brown football thing was really funny, and a great metaphor for how Steven has felt every step of the way of trying to uncover the past of his family and of the gems. The football constantly pulled away.)

Rocknaldo: This feels like a pointed attack on appropriation of culture and/or insincere apologies by online figures that feels too specific to not have been targeted at some specific instance. I have no idea what that instance is, so it’s just kinda… weird. “Weird” is becoming the word of choice to describe an ever-increasing slate of the townie episodes. I miss the Bee and Puppycat vibes of season 1, the Townie episodes feel like they’re getting constantly weaker even as the main plot is constantly improving.

Tiger Philanthropist: Speaking of the decreasing quality of the townie eps. This one is almost certainly better than Tiger Millionaire (which for my money is maybe the worst episode of season 1) but it’s still not even hitting the same highs as some of the mid-tier season 1 townie eps. I do enjoy wrestling more than I did 4 years ago when I watched season 1, so maybe I’m getting hit by a mixture of nostalgia and finally getting the joke. Either way it’s just kinda forgettable.

Room for Ruby: Navel was always my favorite of the Rubies, and I was so excited for her to join the B Team! Which, I think, made the end of the episode hit even harder. She was so clever with that plan, and her deviousness coming through only now after being genuinely the nicest of the rubies throughout her last several appearances was quite clever. Also a great Lapis episode. “I knew it! Nobody could possibly be that well adjusted” indeed.

Lion 4 Alternate Ending: Tbh it’s kinda more of a sequel to Storm in the Room than to Lion 3 Straight to Video. In any respect, Steven keeps getting stymied every step of the way with the potential for answers that never fully give him resolution. Structurally, the whole thing is a shaggy dog story. A key that he wasn’t supposed to get, a travel he didn’t have to take (he asks himself why Lion walked through the desert) to open a locked door guarding nothing (both in the sense that the back of the building was blown off and he could have just walked around the door and that the contents of the room were junk not worth finding). Again I want to call back the Charlie Brown and Lucy football gag from Storm in the Room. He is so so willing to believe he has some destiny, and that his mother had some sort of grand plan and that she was some master manipulator leaving clues… because the alternative is the knowledge that, even if he was loved by a mother he never knew, he’s just a scared child who has been abused by the authority figures in his life, groomed for a fight that he technically never had to fight. The episode is pretty explicitly unclear about what message Steven is going to take away from the video. I think that that is only to its benefit.

Doug Out, The Good Lars, Are You My Dad, I Am My Mom: The last 4 episodes also feel like they belong clumped together like this. I like Doug Maheswaran, he seems like a cool guy (clearly grown since season 1) and I like Lars’ character dev (I choose to believe he was all ready to come inside when he was kidnapped) and I love Sadie’s stuff. The Pizza Potluck song is a low key banger. But the townie eps both get overshadowed (literally) by their final shots and Are You My Dad is all setup with no payoff. I Am My Mom is an insane 11 minutes. Lars kidnapped, Steven sacrificing himself to save the remainder of his friends… it feels like a betrayal in some respect for him to call himself Rose Quartz. He has spent his whole life trying to differentiate himself as his own person, but now he gives all that up for the sake of his loved ones. It’s a strong moment.

Anyway idk when the next recap will be. Hulu doesn't have season 5 and the local library only has seasons 1 and 2 so I'll need to trek out to a different library system an hour out to pick up the season 5 DVDs. Hopefully my hyperfixation will survive this setback.