#with no explanation or details
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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zan0tix · 2 months ago
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ALPHA KIDS: Draw your best friends!
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DIRK: I'd say I'm better at one on one character interaction work of the more intimate variety, but I think this piece came together nicely. DIRK: Fun for the whole family style wholesomeness, any motherfucker in the radius of a screen displaying this image will instantly get hit with a sore case of heartburn and their tear ducts will clock in overtime at the weeping factory.
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ROXY: im so proud of these i think these are my best designs yet :3 but omg dirk callie and jake were SOOO peculiar about their damn designs over my shoulder. jake wanted me to clarify that even in pink pen form his little guy is BLUE. so there. sigh this is the one occasion they could take notes from janey.. JUST LET LE ARTIST WORK!
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JANE: Boy! I don't draw often but I always was fond of calligraphy growing up. I was kind of inspired by all of the other's works, but especially Calliope's swirls she puts in her art. It's very fun to add!
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JAKE: Im not quite the best with posing, but i find the head very fun to study! Especially skulls.. so good ole calliope makes for the perfect muse! (hehe)
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CALLIOPE: i realized i hadn't ever made a piece with Us in the same place at once. u_u CALLIOPE: bUt since it's reality now here's all of Us together, United at last! ^u^
==->
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buriedintheguts · 2 months ago
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Butch 4 Butch, Rio Romeo / Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
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lostgoosebe · 5 months ago
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He’s just a girl in the world
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soulsilvers · 7 months ago
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top ten reasons why red is THE MOST BADASS trainer in the pokemon franchise NUMBER ONE he gets that man pregnant!!
green and red still have the energy and room for one more <3 that wish proves itself to be.. fruitful.
(yes this subject matter can possibly piss off some tumblr catholic. blacklist the pregnancy tag if this is not your thing or block me. thank you for your co-operation.)
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shit-talker · 8 months ago
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I think a really fun idea to explore with Tim would be the idea of him having Hyperthymesia.
Hyperthymesia is an ability that allows people to recall almost every event of their life in great detail. It's extremely rare and honestly doesn't have that much research done on it, but recent studies have suggested that people with this ability are limited to autobiographical memories, people with HSAM sometime tend to show symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and may demonstrate obsessive tendencies.
I think it would be an interesting way to explain why Tim was able to recall his first meeting with Dick Grayson and connect the dots to seeing Robin. Tim does display a lot of obsessive behaviours, and while he doesn't really physically display compulsion (like someone with OCD would typically display) there certainly is a strong case to be made for him potentially having it.
But also, can you imagine how fucking horrible it would be for Tim to remember each and every traumatic thing that ever happens to him as a hero and those memories just never fading. Yes, it would make him a better detective and allow him to be arguably smarter than your average joe, but at what cost?
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hedgehog-moss · 7 months ago
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Je pense que les gens qui ne comprennent pas pourquoi l'embarras sur la part de tarte n'ont jamais été dans un petit restaurant français avec juste un menu du jour et n'ont donc jamais connu les hauts et les bas du loto du dessert (pour toujours dévastée de ne pas avoir eu de la tarte à la rhubarbe parce que la dernière part m'est passée littéralement sous le nez) (#rhubarbeGateDe2019)
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Thank you for these messages, it got me thinking about the possible rural / urban angle to the matter! In (some parts of) the countryside there can be a sentiment of scarcity / limited resources and opportunities, like if there are no other restaurants, no nearby shops to go buy a frozen pie—and maybe also more of an incentive to take strangers into consideration, because you don't expect to see random strangers ever again in a big city whereas here the person eating nearby in a restaurant might end up being the ally you'll need in a future Complex Rural Vendetta... But also in terms of atmosphere, diners in city restaurants might be more in their bubble compared to a countryside restaurant where people say hello to everyone on their way to their table, everyone is eating the exact same meal, so there's more of a feeling of togetherness even if you don't know these people?
Oh and @ first anon I agree that small rural French restaurants with their unique menu du jour with limited options that often won't be offered again anytime soon are a whole universe where micro-tragedies happen every day. My condolences for the rhubarb tart :(
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aroaceleovaldez · 1 year ago
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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korpikorppi · 1 year ago
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Guys, I just now noticed one more interesting little detail in the Untamed!
You know the names of the buildings in the Cloud Recesses: the lecture room/hall Lanshi (兰室, Lánshì, "Orchid Room"); Yashi (雅室, Yǎshì, "Elegant Room") – the reception room/hall; the spirit-summoning room/hall Mingshi (冥室, Míngshì, "Underworld Room" or "Room of Darkness"); Hanshi (寒室, Hánshì, "Frost Room") - Lan Xichen's residence; and Lan Wangji's Jingshi (静室, Jìngshì, "Quiet Room"), right?
The character used to write the "shì", room, in the names is 室, here seen in the Lanshi and the Yashi (the names are read from right to left):
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As a side note, the Lan seem to use the traditional rather than the simplified characters, so the "lán" in the Lanshi is written with 蘭 rather than 兰.
BUT. Not so in the Jingshi! Instead of the 室, a slightly different character is used for the "room":
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My trusty dictionary did not know the character in question, so I started to look at what was different:
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As such, the character 凶 (xiōng) means act of violence, murder, evil. An evildoer. A murderer. And as Lan Xichen told Wei Wuxian, we know who lived in the Jingshi before it became Lan Wangji's residence: "It is the place where our mother lived in the Cloud Recesses".
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So, it seems that when the house became Madam Lan's prison, the character was changed to reflect her crime, denoting the place as the quiet room of a murderer. Accentuated by the reversed colours of the sign:
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This has probably been quite self-evident to anyone who actually speaks and reads Chinese, but was quite an oooff! to me as I realised. One more killer detail in CQL 😟.
And while I was at it, I just had to check what it says above the gate (seen here when LWJ returns home with the Emperor's Smile):
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As far as I can read it, the characters are 影竹堂 (yǐng zhú táng), which I freely translate as "Bamboo Shadow Court". An apt name for the place.
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Hopefully it offered some solace to Madam Lan.
And oh, I just have to add! As Hanshi is the Sect Leader's residence, Lan Xichen is living in their father's house, while Lan Wangji is living in their mother's. And the two houses are more or less identical, down to the furnishings (just check the scene where Lan Xichen confronts Wen Chao and his muddy boots in ep8 vs. The Wangxian Scene in ep43). So did Qingheng-jun have the house built for his wife, identical to the house she was not allowed to live in? That is quite plausible, in universe. Out universe, they probably had only so many buildings to shoot in :).
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kojitheopossum · 1 year ago
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could’ve been us bdubs
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utheny · 5 months ago
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what if i told you pen and colin fell in love at the same time it just took colin longer to realize?
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extrajigs · 1 year ago
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More penta-beasts! Want to get a good grasp of the morphs going on in this planet. So sketched these out between coms! Info below!
First is more of a grazing type of 'animal', though their grazing is more so scrapping at the ground. The top and bottom jaws are used for scratching up edible bits from the biomat, while the middle are used for combing through the gunk they accumulate from scratching. They also got these long curved eyes. I was thinking like how animals with horizontal pupil align the pupil to the horizon, these guys just have their eye built into two modes so they have the wide vision when feeding and just hanging out. Maybe a lil goofy but this planet is just made to be silly. Like this other guy! This is a predatory pentapod, usually stalking up in the night before starting a quick chase. Most of the time the food gets away but if not they have modified their spear into their primary method of dispatching prey. They kill via exsanguination and eat with very dainty little bites as their jaws have atrophied a little bit. Also fun spikey shell to make them extra dangerous! Maybe it's when they have lil spats with each other.
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only-lonely-star · 29 days ago
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no thoughts, just this picture.
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notbecauseofvictories · 8 months ago
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just came off my shift as an election judge and I honestly think we should make people do this. I support abolishing the draft, and I even think that jury duty can get complicated, but everyone in the country should be forced to learn about election procedure, then have to sit around for 14 hours and practice being customer service for democracy. I think that would fix us.
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i-will-always-love-the-jedi · 7 months ago
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Me when my comfort-blorpos are actually just middle aged sad losers 😔😔😔
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spookberry · 1 year ago
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actually what is with the fact that crossover fics always bring up this idea that people outside amity would think Nasty Burger is a weird name for a restaurant? and cuz its weird Danny or Tucker or Sam wind up having to explain it Used to be called Tasty but a prank/accident involving the loss of the T wound up eventually causing it to be changed to an N cuz the locals thought it was funny????
Like first of all restaurants having dumb/ironic names is totally normal actually. I dont think people would be confused by this concept at all
And second of all that is NOT true and its Such a specific piece of info that ALWAYS gets brought up but its not real! You made that up!!! None of that is canon!!!
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