#looks around unnecessary detail explanation time

[kojitheopossum]

could’ve been us bdubs

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I've got a strange question about Zeus' affairs... Do Ancient authors elaborate on these supernatural seduction stories or do they just day "Zeus seduced her taking the form of X"...

Like, do they tell us if, after catching the girl's attention Zeus goes back to a more human form, or does the "deed" take place while Zeus has an animal form (that would be more weird)?

I don't want to seem offensive / graphic, I'm just curious about how Ancient writers and storytellers tell this stories, a story can be very different depending on how you tell it and I suppose "a beautiful swan caught my eye, then turned in this handsome divine man and I wanted to bed him" is a much more compelling version of events than "a strange swan flew where I was sitting and assaulted me, that's why im pregnant".

I love your posts on Greek Myths, especially the oned related to Perseas and Medusa. XOXO

Hello! Thank you for the good words! I like those posts as well xD

Well, Greek myths were not meant to be taken that literally, or given so much thought. The deed takes place when Zeus is back in a more human form, usually, except in the case of Leda where he was in a swan form, and she birthed eggs that hatched.

But even in Leda's case, it's implied that there was some type of.... affection on her part?? Which is definitely weird because when you like a swan the next logical step is not "I want to bed it". But from what I read the coupling was more... divine in nature and beyond human logic. Like, Leda didn't bed an actual swan and she knew that it wasn't a swan. I'm just trying to explain it. I definitely don't mean that humans and swans should do anything else than look at each other in the park 😅😂😅😂😅😂

Usually, when the deity has an animal form, the children also have animal forms. (Poseidon raping Demeter as a stallion comes to mind)

Again, we are not meant to seek the logistics of these couplings. They were more like explanations than stories, and one needed the context of the time to fill in the blanks. So the story goes "Zeus wanted this woman, he seduced her in the form of X and from their coupling, she gave birth to our Hero and King. The End." It's often that simple, and the focus point is the result, aka how the hero/god/king/deity/genealogical line came to exist. The other details are unnecessary.

Sometimes we might get an extra story about how the hero/deity etc had to defend their mother from Hera or someone else's wrath which is only a means to another explanation of why a mountain/river/sea/animal exists. Again, the focus is on the result.

Which makes sense if you think more of it like this:

Imagine if, in the tale of Snowhite, we started asking "Is there an economy of magic mirrors? Is there a theme of exploited labor when it comes to The Mirror? Does the court system work in favour of the mother or father? And can we assume there is welfare for Little people in the Snowhite universe?" These are... possibly related questions to the story, but the story chooses not to explore them, and - let's be honest - we don't ask ourselves about those. Because they are so beyond the point.

Finally, the stories weren't probably created by one random guy who wanted to entertain the kids around the fire. The stories were most likely the result of divination or oracles and visions since they were about the gods. That's why they don't have all the characteristics of a traditional tale that is meant to entertain.

The first paragraphs from this post will answer your question additionally, I think!

[dizzystqrs]

personal h2o lore & mermaid rules explanation

disclaimer: h2o: just add water is by no means a scientific show, the creators even said that they didn't put much thought into the specifics of anything, but if you are like me and Upset that they didn't, this is for u <3

disclaimer 2: these are my personal best-of-my-ability explanations, but they r Not canon at all, and absolutely feel free to disagree!

here we go!!

1. are the girl's human forms and mermaid forms separate bodies?

short answer: no, they aren't--but the episode red herring does make it seem that way, when emma's red hair is only in one form. however, if they were separate bodies, emma's finger cut in season 1 and rikki's head injury in season 2 which they both got in mermaid form would not have stayed when they transformed back (but they did!) it's more of a bodily permanent-to-not-permanent basis on what stays and what leaves during a transformation.

long answer: opalsiren also has a detailed post on this if you're curious (and i do highly recommend giving it a read bc it changed my life, reshaped my reality, watered my crops, etc etc) but i'll try to explain it here too

if we look at what stays and what leaves during a transformation, we can sorta see a pattern

freckles, scars, wounds, hair texture/length, bodily proportions (mermaid forms age along with their human forms) and eye color all stay the same, meanwhile clothes, accessories, makeup, hair dye, etc, all disappear. furthermore, anything permanent, genetic, or breaking the skin keeps, and anything temporary or sitting on top of the skin disappears, and then reappears later. (ex: hair length stays consistent because hair follicles penetrate the skin and go beneath it, semi-permanent hair color doesn't cuz it inly sits around the hair follicles. would dying your hair fully & permanently transform too? mayhaps!)

a scientific way to explain this would be that the transformation process takes into account genetics and then the current state of your body before making the switch into either form. so, during the 30 seconds it takes to transform, the process involves reading the genetic code (eye color, skin color, face shape, etc, and also perhaps it only does this the first time, and saves the information for the future?) and then the state of the body (wounds, age, weight, hair length, etc) and then proceeds to alter the genetic makeup to the incoming body type with the new information. (and all of this needs to be read so that the transformation doesn't mess with anything integral or unnecessary, and doesn't cause unwanted changes!! for example i like to think a mermaid bleeding out would not transform back, in order to preserve the body's energy and resources)

2. how do the girls get clean?

this is by far the most common question i see and. u know what... it is a good one to ask LMAO

as i went into before, anything that doesn't permeate the skin will disappear when transforming. this includes dirt and grime!! it will just disappear, then come back like everything else. while they could wash their face and arms in mermaid form, their legs will still be grimy cuz theyre unaccessible!! so like,, how is no one complaining that the girls smell all the time?

so first, fun solution; i like to think that a good solution is that the transformative process is cleansing, as in they straight up Turn Into Water so every single impurity on their skin (such as dirt, oil, makeup maybe, etc) is washed away in both human form and mermaid form in the 30 seconds it takes for them to fully turn. this is a little hard to explain scientifically but i think it would make more sense when given the magic treatment--it just does it bc it can.

semi-boring solution, probably the canon one: their mermaid skin IS their human skin, so cleaning a mermaid tail is just like cleaning their human legs. would make sense as to why they all take baths w their tails! this is also probably the canon explanation, because when dr. denman transforms a scale in her lab, it shifts right back into skin, meaning it is, essentially, the same material. this conflicts a teensy bit with previously established lore in my opinion but . yknow. it is a mermaid show for kids 💀

actual boring solution: there is a canon specific amount of water content that transforms them, which i believe is like above 32% or something. if a liquid contains 32% water, boom, tail. however, it wouldn't be too hard to find alcoholic wipes that contain less than that water content, which they could use to clean the parts of their body that the mermaid tail obscures. straight bars of soap are sometimes less water content than that too, so they could pretty easily just scrub then dry-wipe it off. is it... more sanitary/safe than just washing with water? probably not! but it's an option! and if you dont vibe with the above options, this is a p good alternative

3. hey, what the Fuck is the moonpool

fantastic question. literally no one knows. they are soooo vague with this piece of lore it actually makes me upset considering how COOOL it is that there is an ancient magic pool in a volcano on an abandoned island. they fumbled the bag so hard guys

heres like, pretty much everything we know canonly abt it (in h2o lore only, not mako mermaids, all my homies hate mako mermaids)

- it works hand-in-hand with the moon & planets

- it, or the water in it, is sentient, and is aware of any dangers to it

- it seems to have a connection to fate (as in, the 1950's mermaids & their connection to the 2000's girls)

- there are several of these (implied, but there could just be only one other in ireland)

- each one has a specific set of water-based powers to give out, evenly divided among each person that jumps in the moonpool in a full moon, and these powers can be amplified on specific nights. (this also seems to correspond with personality)

-it is magic. (this is a point because it is Very hard almost near impossible to explain it scientifically)

and yeah! i personally have a few headcanons for What the moonpool is and how it works, but i think it's a lot more fun to make your own so go crazy (and there is no way i could explain it cuz i have like 8000 thoughts abt it and None of them fit in a tumblr post) !! if youre curious u can read my fic about it tho B) xoxo

anyway that's all!! feel free to tack on any questions or answers slash disagreements about this silly little mermaid show as well !! <3

[luchicm04]

lost in the forest - part 38

Masterlist

Summary: Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Original Female Character

Tag: #lost in the forest fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: +5k

Overall warnings: canon-typical violence, adult content, time skips, angst

The office will never feel the same. Discomfort was weighting on her back at the direct gaze of the Senju clan leader; becoming aware of that extra sparkle in his eyes that she previously misinterpreted as friendly is unsettling now noticing the small details that would easily go over her head without her realizing it.  

Karen was not the most observant. When it came to romantic matters or suitors, she was the most ignorant of all faced with the possibility of diverting from her profession, family and other plans to spend time on things she thought were unnecessary.  

Besides, no one had had the courage to make her see her own luck. Now, she can only sigh... The girl listens and puts any annoying thought in the back of her conscience to concentrate on the real problem, which took her out of that hasty vacation and threw her back to face what she was so agilely ignoring.  

Hashirama looks at her... Tobirama stands by her side, while Izuna and Madara calmly state their point of view.  

The tension of the political situation favors disregarding the discreet attention of the newlywed man, while Mito prefers to focus on the speaker.  

“So, you’re telling me... that you fought over an issue regarding... eyes?” the woman can’t help but mention casually with a frustrated tone of what she thinks is stupid. Judging by the tight expressions on the faces of the two Uchihas, she realizes she has touched a delicate nerve.  

Shinobi pride is hard to deal with when she's still oblivious to additional stuff such as clans, techniques, and the like.  

It has never been of her business.  

“It’s not just eyes,” Madara repeats with a firm frown, crossing his arms indignantly at her summary. “It’s a Doujutsu.”  

“It is a Kekkei Genkai; a family technique that both Uchihas and Hyūgas possess,” Tobirama explains, doesn’t whisper, the point where the oldest Uchiha is going with his offended gesture. Karen resists the urge to roll her eyes... No one has bothered to tell her about things so natural to them, like chakra or their magic.  

Which makes her give her future husband a different look, one that indicates that she needs a better explanation if she is going to expose herself to more of those atypical qualities of their world. She sighs and faces those involved with the problem. “There weren’t any issues when the contract was put on the table,” Karen comments without being intimidated by the heavy feeling that is beginning to flood the room.  

She has already become accustomed to it and must make her point clear about all this.  

It was her job! ...This whole thing was almost confirmed and thrown overboard because of... eyes?! It’s absurd, at least from her point of view.  

“I know,” Hashirama calmly adds with a professional tone, sitting behind the desk right in the middle of the office that is set up as a neutral place. Things are going to change... there are plans for the future, but the premise is to fix the conflict. “Kekkei Genkai and private techniques of each clan are a matter apart from the alliance. The initial conflict took place when Izuna commented on the Byakugan.”  

“My question was valid,” Izuna states with his hard tone.  

“You told them to refrain from spying through the walls,” the eldest Senju snorts, tired of going around in circles.  

“It’s natural that he would do it. You know what that technique is based on, you have faced them,” Madara defends his brother, making clear a point that they have been discussing for a while based on the tone and look of both clan leaders.  

Karen wonders if perhaps talking about this conflict, the use of those Kekkei... whatever-they’re-called will be limited only to helping with missions and internal training in each compound.  

She had considered this before and mentioned it in their first negotiations, but pride is a delicate thing and knowing the Hyūgas and their pompous attitude, perhaps they didn’t take it as well as the Uchiha did, which might be a problem that may have exploded before their forced coexistence.  

“What do you think?” Tobirama questions, watching her in silence. Hashirama and Madara are discussing in their own way what happened in front of Izuna, outraged by being called a stupid brat by a Hyūga who apparently took his comment personally.  

“It’s just... it will be difficult to talk to the Hyūgas,” she sighs thoughtfully. “Unless, of course, I ask for a favor from the Daimyo... he himself recommended them.”  

“Must you talk to him?” The second Senju can be heard flat, but there are tints that make him turn with a soft arch. “Really?”  

“Yes...” the girl sighs, tapping her chin a little with a different perspective.  

“The Hyūga aren’t needed if we’re already here,” Izuna snaps from his spot, apparently paying attention to what she was thinking of doing.  

Karen is not intimidated by those red eyes that surround her. The younger Senju is like a statue at her side, not wanting to turn this into something complicated. “They are if it is possible to have the favor of the Daimyo, the lands and more missions from nobles. It is what we had agreed on, not only with the Hyūgas, but with each clan...” Her eyes look at Izuna to end on Madara. “I know that both sides are proud of your techniques, and it was rude to say that.”  

“It wasn’t rude... it’s just reality,” Izuna defends himself.  

“That’s how you see it, Izuna-san, but the issue here is politics, pride and the fact that this pact is wavering due to a few doubts and words,” the woman accepts, clearly tired of such a long trip and being rushed into this meeting. “I will have to speak again with Shinji-sama, then contact the Hyūga leader to see the details.”  

“You don’t have to contact them. Izuna is right; they could spy on us anytime,” Madara clarifies harshly.  

“I know it’s a valid doubt. Even now, there are still Senjus and Uchihas who find it difficult to leave aside the path of blood.” Karen remembers what she has experienced since they moved. “But the point here is that it is the future that is at stake. And you have worked together in spite of looking over your shoulder every time.”  

“It’s not the same,” Izuna complains.  

“Of course it is... What if, instead of a Hyūga being questioned about his spying ability, it had been the other way around?” Karen follows the conversation naturally. “What if they had mentioned something about your techniques or capabilities? ...Wouldn’t you feel upset?”  

“They are the ones who came to make a pact, not us,” Madara adds.  

The woman is firm. “Thay came because the Daimyo suggested it and because he sees the future in making peace.”  

“It’s true, Madara,” Hashirama interrupts what would be a debate between both people. Madara growls but remains silent. “We can’t let this overwhelm us and leave unresolved what would mark our dream forever.”  

“I won’t apologize,” Izuna lashes out. “I didn’t tell any lies.”  

“I know you didn’t,” Karen rolls her eyes. “But that’s not something you say directly, Izuna-san. If they join, they will have to work with us, side by side. It’s foolish to think otherwise. If I try hard and they join us in the end, I expect more from you as proud Uchihas.”  

“It’s not the same,” he repeats.  

“Not for you... but you will work together.”  

“Preferably not,” Madara complains. “We have a Doujutsu, and although ours is better, I prefer to keep myself and my people out of working with them.”  

“Madara... That will be impossible if the dream is fully completed. You will have to work, adapt to the needs and use them in favor of the village.” Karen sees the point in her own argument. It is stupid to think that due to stubbornness and magic powers, she will stay away from this contact without knowing how volatile the future is.  

Because she knows it will grow... they will have to adapt and work together.  

“I’d rather work with a Nara... or one of the other two... but not a Hyūga,” Madara frowns.  

“Then I will cross that bridge,” the woman cuts off any long discussions to look at Hashirama. “I will speak with Hyūga-san myself and then I will speak with Shinji-sama.”  

“Will you go?” The elder Senju sounds worried.  

“This is delicate, and it must be arranged personally,” the girl accepts firmly. “And if you can’t go, the best option is me, who has been taking care of these matters since Hashirama sent the proposal.”  

“I can go. I have time.” He looks a bit uncomfortable sending her. She wonders why. “I can still contact Shinji-sama.”  

“No, I have to see him myself since you have things to do, don’t you?” she arches her eyebrow. “I know that the Nara leader will come with the other two in the next few days to see the land.”  

“Did Tobi tell you?” Hashirama frowns, ignoring the gaze of those present.  

“I told her,” the second Senju admits.  

“I see.” The older one remains thoughtful. Madara gives him a petulant gesture that makes him save any comments for afterwards. “Alright. Just... don’t go alone.”  

“I shall go with her,” Tobirama adds casually. Karen doesn’t see anything wrong with it, turning to look at Izuna.  

“No... I won’t go,” Izuna frowns.  

“You caused the problem,” the girl accepts firmly.  

“No, he won’t go. He won’t apologize for something that is obvious.”  

“Madara-san, it’s an issue that he must solve. You know why; I explained the point before and postponing it doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten it. He threw my work away... so many days of negotiations and dealings,” the woman frowns as well with no lies in her mouth. “So, it’s his payment for wasting our work.”  

Izuna opens his mouth and closes it several times.  

“He has to take responsibility for his ineptitude and learn more about what it means to be a diplomat.” Karen will not let go so easily of the proper payment for this support that she did not ask for. Madara stays thoughtful for a little longer, analyzing each point.  

“Fine... but he won’t apologize.”  

“Ni-san!” Izuna complains about the crazy idea that has been declared.  

“You made your point, but it’s true. Karen gave a lot for this job. It’s the least you should do besides learning from this,” the eldest Uchiha states, perhaps understanding in a very shinobi way what she said. She doesn’t care. Karen is firm in her position and accepts the help even if it’s not in the way she expects.  

“Fine,” reluctantly, the youngest of the infamous Uchiha sighs with dignity. “However, I won’t say anything... nor will I enter the Hyūga compound... now will I regret what I said. The bastards are idiots with a stick up their ass.”  

“Not so different from you,” Tobirama adds with a lopsided smile.  

“Only from me?” Izuna mockes, taking a tentative step forward. There is silence and if it weren’t for the civilian getting in the middle, it would be a long discussion.  

“I’d rather go home, grab some things and leave... okay?” Karen says, taking the initiative to leave at that moment because of the rush.  

“Alright.” Tobirama gestures towards Hashirama.  

“Okay... the sooner you fix this, the better.” Hashirama looks from afar. “And Karen... sorry for making you come like this.”  

Karen thought she couldn’t treat him naturally, but she answered easily with a soft smile. “Oh... no problem. I guess the work doesn’t do itself, right?”  

“Still, I’m glad you came... and to see you.”  

“Hashirama,” Tobirama scolds from his spot. The elder Senju is firm in what he said and although Karen blinked in understanding, maybe there was something hidden in those words. She ignores them, it is preferable, but she notices Madara’s frustration and Izuna’s morbid curiosity.  

“Well... I’ll go visit Mito-san later.” Karen bids farewell turning around without paying attention to what they say behind her back. She walks in the middle of both compounds without talking to Tobirama, who keeps watching her. “Don’t say anything.”  

“I said nothing.”  

“Just in case,” Karen says. “I’ll go home... will you tell Izuna-san?”  

“I will talk with him.”  

“Good... you don’t have to escort me,” she sighs, tired of all this and how her day of relaxation was lost because of what she will face. She doesn’t like the idea of talking to Shinji... or Hyūga Hiroshi, but there’s no other choice... the payment for something that was not in her hands.  

She doesn’t complain and keeps going. At least she doesn’t have to deal with Hashirama now.  

──

Kaori looks at her with those eyes that search for news, she notices it... and wisely ignores it because of the urgency of her mission to recover the contract with the Hyūga clan. She may be a civilian, but Karen understands the weight of going personally to negotiate the commercial agreement that already existed, to convince them that it is still standing and that it will not turn into something else.  

The last thing she wants is to return to those days of chaos where war was present.  

“Here is your suitcase,” the assistant says, delivering the requested item to the edge of the door with clarity and stealth. And old woman capable of grasping things with so little. “Young Tobirama-sama must have been very sweet,” she sighs with a soft gesture to look at her. “You should not try too hard... alright?”  

Karen understands what is not said, but she does not take her out of her error to smile. “I prefer not to talk about it.”  

“Oh... well, if you need any tea...”  

“It’s fine,” she clarifies before Kaori finishes explaining the benefits of that tea, which she surely won’t like... but she doesn’t have the heart to reject it either. “Is something wrong?”  

“Well, I understand that you will wait until you get married, only... maybe I would expect a surprise,” the woman states, keeping quiet about something that she may not mention out loud, such as her age or fertile period, which they clearly avoid. Karen is not very adept at remembering that this could be difficult considering the time they live in.  

“Uh... I don’t think so,” she blinks in understanding, deciding not to comment on her insecurities since she supposes the pressure of a son is noticeable even though they don’t have any of that activity with Tobirama. She blushes slightly... she can’t help it at the old woman’s casual idea of having something about it soon.  

She sighs painfully.  

“Well, I will have the tea ready in a second.” Kaori disappears, leaving her alone. The civilian doesn’t want to imagine what is going through the head of said old woman and then huffs.  

“Ready?” Tobirama appears behind her, her heart only skipping a beat at the habit she had to ingrain from living among shinobi. She looks at him without surprise and snorts indignantly.  

Obviously, this man is oblivious to the old woman’s conversations.  

“You are ready... are you not?” the albino man presses easily.  

“Kaori-san wants me to have some tea,” Karen explains casually. “So as not to have any surprises before the wedding.” If it weren’t for the fact that the man is indifferent and quite controlled, it would have been fun to see some kind of embarrassed reaction. “Although I’m sure she’s dying to be a grandmother.”  

Tobirama coughs a little more. “Kaori-san has always seen us... I guess it is normal.”  

“You know she’ll be expecting something, right?”  

“I will not do anything you do not want.”  

“I know you won’t...” The girl does see how to solve this problem. She also doesn’t know if they are compatible in that way considering her lack of that magic system that both Tobirama and Hashirama once explained to her. She scratches the back of her neck, seeing the old woman look at them both with a certain joy. “Thanks, Kaori-san.”  

“Oh, it is a little hot,” Kaori clarifies and warns her before sipping. “Tobirama-sama.”  

“Kaori-san,” the man greets, watching her gently sip her drink. He is silently pressing her but falls silent to drink from his cup.  

“Would you like something quick to take with you?” the lady asks helpfully.  

“No, we still have our travel rations with us,” Tobirama explains calmly, as professional as he usually is and oblivious to the careful gaze of the older person among them. Karen is slightly amused by how awkward the atmosphere becomes in seconds.  

Although it’s her imagination... isn’t it?  

“Thanks for the tea.” Karen just hands the cup over to look at her fiancé. “I’m ready.”  

“Good. We will be seeing Izuna at the exit of the compound.”  

“Did he give you any problems?”  

“He is an idiot,” the albino states to look at Kaori. “Farewell.”  

“Of course, I will wait for you. And I hope you can get there safely,” the old woman says goodbye with a casual wave. Both Tobirama and her calmly leave the house quietly. Karen wonders why he's taking so long to take her and go quickly to the meeting point.  

But maybe, just maybe, he did find what the old woman had implied uncomfortable in some harsher way.  

A complicated issue to resolve when it is a facade. The civilian simply sighs and remains silent. “I was serious about it... I will not ask you for something you do not want,” the shinobi clarifies, almost guessing her thoughts.  

“You won’t, but you know... your society asks for a lot,” the girl says calmly. “Considering my age.”  

The albino doesn’t say anything else. “I do not want children?”  

“No?”  

“No... It is enough with the ones Hashirama will have.”  

Karen would like to ask what exactly he means, understand these words exactly, but she just stays thoughtful for a while. “I... I wanted to, for some time.”  

“...”  

“But... my world, there were too many people... and too many problems because of the excess of people,” she explains remembering the problems of her birthplace. “It got to a point where I stopped looking... and waiting for the answer to my desire to come to me... However, my life was so fast... it was difficult to stop and see what I was doing.”  

“...”  

“But I guess that can wait. I don’t want to deal with this right now.”  

“So...” Tobirama looks at her strangely, as if this wasn’t what he planned from the beginning.  

“Let’s not think about it for now.” Karen cuts off any extra question or comment that could be rooted in this uneasy topic. Children, the future and those things are complicated when she is far from home, from her life, ordinary and without political issues involved.  

Tobirama accepts this, only remaining quiet until reaching the spot where Izuna looks between them with a suspicious expression. He falls silent and doesn’t comment anything ironic or sarcastic so as to focus on fixing their problems.  

To go and discuss the subject with the Daimyo and then with the Hyūgas.  

It is for the best.  

For now.  

──

The journey is as long as she remembers. The river running beneath her feet is evidence of the change of course she recalls from that trip she made before. Of course, now she is not escorted by Hashirama or Madara in the matter. She sighs... so many things she has been thinking about lately that simply do not let her enjoy the landscape.  

“Are you done?” She hears Tobirama’s voice hidden in the valley, telling her he’s watching out for her, but without looking at her. She supposes it’s a mania she hadn’t noticed in the guy, since she hadn’t traveled with him.  

“I’m done,” she says before taking a last dip in the clear river to clean off any dirt left. There are some hours left until they reach the large civilian compound, so she has to take her valuable time to get ready, going out barefoot to grab a towel and begin to dry herself.  

Karen gets changed quickly, full of adrenaline with the anxiety of being attacked.  

They haven’t been, but both Tobirama and Izuna don’t let their guard down, their paranoid anxiety giving off a bit. She watches the noise of nature softly, taking her own dry clothes to put them on cautiously.  

“Ready?”  

“Yeah... all that’s missing is the main yukata,” she clarifies just as she sees the man emerge from some trees in the background, who looks at her and arches his eyebrow in annoyance. “It’s just the main yukata.” She can guess the reason for his irritation.  

“You must be careful... you are in your underwear.”  

“It’s a thick yukata, not underwear,” the girl states, beginning to follow her own routine.  

Tobirama doesn’t leave the subject aside, turning to look the other way with no gesture on his face. “You have been with us for years. You know what I mean.”  

Karen doesn’t comment anything to finish adjusting it. She lifts her hair in a light but elegant hairstyle that Mikami taught her before; each part and each step is complex in its own way to end in a light makeup. Timing is important when she knows the Daimyo waits before going with the Hyūga.  

She only hopes the man is not insufferable... but she supposes she can deal with him in her own way, considering that she will soon be getting married and that on the engagement day he wasn’t so insistent, even though he wanted her to drink with him. She doesn’t like the man, but she figures she can use this benefit to the village’s advantage.  

What’s more, she hopes also that the Hyūga won’t be so upset and agree to have a meeting with them. Thanks to the Daimyo’s intervention, of course.  

“Okay.” The woman turns to face the man who looks at her for a long time. “Did I miss something?”  

“No... you did not miss anything,” he snorts, washing away any discomfort and taking her gently. “Izuna has gone ahead.”  

“He didn’t wait for us? You should have told me to hurry up,” Karen complains, not at all bothered by the way she was carried. At least she no longer feels like a sack of potatoes like she used to. Tobirama rolls his eyes without any further comment.  

Just jumping and making this faster for the simple civilian who, despite the time, never gets used to this.  

──

Shinji shows a twisted smile, almost amused to see them present at that meeting that he agreed to have despite not giving advance notice. He looks at her for a long time... it makes her tense, but she doesn’t comment anything just as many of his assistants depart from the main room to leave them alone.  

The samurai guards at the gate remain silent as he lets out a light laugh.  

“You know... Hiroshi-san was so upset it was funny,” the leader states shamelessly with clear fascination for the comment, making the only woman sitting between the two men in a perfect seiza bow her head. “He is usually too quiet, like all Hyūga... He was too vocal in his complaint. Uchiha-san, you did a number on him.”  

Izuna doesn’t answer. Karen sees that despite his stubbornness and lack of diplomacy, he knows that responding reluctantly to a leader like Shinji would be bad for politics, so he simply sighs. “It was not my intention,” he says through gritted teeth.  

But Karen won’t point that out.  

“So that is why you got my dear Saucedo-san... involved,” he comments petulantly and saccharinely, looking at her with a mischievous gleam. The Daimyo doesn’t drop the subject, but at least he no longer insists that she join the harem, knowing that the man at her right side took away her virtue.  

Ironic... Tobirama is silent but looks haughtier for some reason.  

“It was not my intention,” the Uchiha repeats, keeping his irritation to himself.  

“It never is,” the leader accepts calmly. “Tell me, Saucedo-san... are you willing to deal with this?”  

“That is why I came,” the woman explains. “I was the one who carried out the pact with Hashirama, and I am the only one available of the two.”  

“Oh, well... it is a shame that this has postponed Senju-san's honeymoon,” Shinji says, assuming things that have not been touched, like the honeymoon of said leader. One that she took, but she silences herself letting the man’s imagination fly slightly. “I imagine that is the reason.”  

“Something like that,” she comments clearly taking the lead in this meeting. “He has been reviewing other possible alliances.”  

“I heard about it, and I love the idea. Now, the Hyūgas... I can call them to meet with you in the main courtyard.”  

“You would do that?”  

“Of course, dear... I like the idea of being useful to you in this.” Shinji winked cheekily, making a sign for one of the guards to come closer, whispering things that made him tense up and smile just as amused. “We could still have tea... if you do not mind waiting.”  

“Alright.” She stands up with the other two boys.  

“It is fine if she comes alone, Senju-san... Uchiha-san, you can wait here,” he declares, stopping any advances from his guards.  

“I apologize, sir. My fiancée cannot be alone for so long,” Tobirama casually comments before the amusement of said noble who chuckles freely.  

“Do not worry... my intentions are not romantic. Although I keep insisting that it could have been better if she entered my harem, I won’t force her into anything,” the man clarifies, not at all offended by such a comment, though Karen swears she saw the guard move. “Nevertheless, it amuses me to see that you protect her... for a shinobi, your heart is clear.”  

Tobirama doesn’t say anything but looks at her lightly.  

“It will be alright; I just want to clarify some political points. I know from a very good source that I could help in such matters.” Shinji does not hide his intention to look at her. “If you do not mind being alone with me.”  

“No, it is okay. I trust it is just for work purposes,” Karen comments formally. The shinobi sighed lightly.  

The man takes the first step. “I am glad to hear that. So, I wish we could talk about this... more in person.”  

“Alright.” Karen looks at the men. “I will be back in a moment.”  

Tobirama doesn’t look placid, but he accepts the silent order to stay back as she is escorted to a spot amongst the beautiful garden she remembers. There are several samurai deployed throughout this enclosure coincidentally, and she sighs noticing the man’s seriousness.  

He gives her a smile. “I really had never seen the infamous White Assassin so in love... I still cannot believe it, and I attended your engagement and Senju-san's wedding,” the man laughs sitting on the other side of that prepared table while she gently takes the other, being helped by said leader.  

“He is kind... and loving,” she says, not wanting to lose the thread of the comment. “However, I do not think I was separated from my fiancé just to criticize his character.”  

“I like how direct you are.”  

“Thank you.”  

“You are welcome.” Shinji sighs to put on a serious face when the tea is already served, and the aroma of the desserts is light. “An assassination attempt has been made in my heir,” he says as if it were nothing abnormal, which makes her blink naturally at the man. “I know this has nothing to do with you, but I have suspicions that the neighboring country has broken our agreement by supporting an internal revolt.”  

Karen sees the point. “Then... you need me to see some kind of solution without going to war.”  

“Of course,” he chuckles. “I am glad you have the ability to see with so little. I would like for us to look for a solution that favors my position and destroys whoever is behind it.”  

“Even if they belong to your family or harem?”  

“Your doubts are normal. Usually, there are always these kinds of movements to take power,” he laughs as if were such a funny and twisted story that it doesn’t surprise him. Deep down, maybe he also did the same to take this position over his other brothers.  

Ones that she doesn’t know and doesn’t actually care much about, but she assumes that this is a normal occurrence.  

“However, they have requested foreign support... a very disturbing one,” Shinji accepts, looking at her. “And I need to have everything in my favor.”  

“Well, it will be complicated considering the little information.”  

“That I why I will hire your guards.”  

“...Will you?”  

“The Hyūga clan will respond as soon as I send the message. If you help me with this... in the most subtle way, I will do my best to ensure that there is no negative response from them.”  

“So, you do not want them to find out that you hired shinobis.”  

“No... I will take advantage of the fact that you came for a political issue. I know that they are both good at their job.”  

“Yes.”  

“Then...” He shrugs. “As for you, I will put you in some civil meetings which will justify why you are here.”  

“I will be a facade for your real request.”  

“Precisely.”  

“Alright,” Karen accepts, beginning to talk about the details of this special mission, the political issues and other things that they were able to exchange, surprising her with the confidence that said leader has in her to reveal such sensitive matters such as the attempted murder or the coup d’état.  

Although Tobirama didn’t like the idea of leaving her behind, it was for the best. He left shadow clones as backup and cover for his real work.  

Karen just hopes it turns out well.  

A/N: Okay, a short one to say present! As you will see, another political plot will come, where Karen will be involved only for the pleasure of existing (poor thing) Will they fix the situation with the Hyūgas? Will the Daimyo resolve his coup d’état?

She hopes so.

Author-chan out!

PS. Thanks for your likes and comments.

[writing-on-the-wahl]

O Positive Part Three

Hi hi my lovely chickens! It’s been a while but I am back with more of O Positive! Y’all can thank @im-a-wonderling for the request and all her amazing encouragement and edits. Fun story I was almost done with my first draft when I realized I’d written it in first person (the perspective my manuscript is in) and I  was too lazy to go back and fix the entire thing so sorry lovelies! I hope you still enjoy:)  

Part 1   Part 2 

The sun was high in the sky, shining down between the towering skyscrapers, warming the sidewalk and reflecting happily off of the dozens of windows on the building I approached. I squinted my eyes and glared at the reflective glass, the low throbbing in the back of my head making me wish I’d thought to bring sunglasses. 

A pedestrian shoved past me as I slowly shuffled down the sidewalk. I stumbled forward for several steps before I managed to use a conveniently located lampost to keep the ground from swooping up to meet me. I glared at the retreating suit, clenching my fingers around the bottle in my hand to keep from returning the favor and shoving him down into the gutter. Normally, I would have immediately felt guilty for the violent thought, but it had taken the other heroes hours to find me last night, and after freeing me from the streetlight and demanding a detailed explanation of my failed fight with Villain, they’d requested [Read: required] that I join them in canvassing the streets for Villain. A pointless, idiotic gesture, if ever there was one. As if Villain would be stupid enough to hang around four hours after robbing an art gallery and cuffing me to a lamp pole. So between my utter lack of sleep and the two pints of blood I’d already donated this morning, I didn't have much sympathy for rude civilians. 

Finally, I reached the double doors at the base of the offending shiny building. A temporary banner hung above them proclaiming, “Blood Drive Today!” 

“Really, you are sadly predictable.” 

It took my fuzzy brain much too long to process that the words had been spoken by a man leaning against the building, and another to recognize that the person behind the aviator sunglasses and casual shirt and jeans was Villain. 

By the time my sluggish brain caught up to the situation, he was standing before me, crowding my space and giving me a death glare I could feel even through the dark glass that covered his eyes. 

“Villain.” 

“Hero.” 

He said my name like a parent scolding a toddler. 

“I thought you told me we wouldn’t be having a repeat of last month.” 

“We aren’t.” I shoved past him, grabbing the handle of the door. But I couldn’t resist shooting over my shoulder, “I’d hate to burden you again in such a way.” The overwhelming bitterness I felt at the last month of pretending nothing had happened slipped into the words, and I bit my tongue. 

As Villain’s brows rose above the rim of his sunglasses, I darted into the cool reception area. 

I made it about half a step before Villain caught up to me, hand wrapping around my elbow. 

I let him pull me to the side, out of the flow of traffic that bustled through the large space--regular office workers breezing past the brightly colored signs hanging above folding tables, making an odd combination of suits and dresses mixing with the more casually dressed donors that were much too few in number for what the city needed. 

The sparse group gathered on the other side of the room only hardened my resolve. I twisted my arm from Villain’s grip and managed a step towards the blood drive before Villain got in front of me. 

He didn’t try to grab me again, though. In a sense, we both had our hands tied, unless we wanted to draw unnecessary attention to ourselves and risk outing our secret identities. 

My headache throbbed as I tilted my neck to look up at the irritating man. “Move, Villain.” 

He folded his arms across his chest, staring me down. 

My will was stronger than his, but my aching self unfortunately was not. I dropped my head, rubbing my neck with a sigh. “Please--just, don’t. I’m going to do this.” 

Villain dropped his angry stance and sighed. “Your day job is do-gooding. Why is this so important to you?” The words themselves should have set me on edge, but I couldn’t deny the utter sincerity with which he asked. 

I swallowed back the painful memories enough to get out one word, the most important one. “Sidekick.” 

I couldn’t look at Villain, but I felt the moment he understood. The tension in the air drained as all the fight went out of him. I turned away and walked towards the registration table, trying and failing to ignore the long-legged shadow behind me. 

“Here to donate? Bless your heart.” The elderly woman behind the table smiled as she passed me a registration form. I reached out to take the clipboard, but an arm shot in front of me, snagging it from my fingertips. 

“I don’t think so,” Villain murmured in my ear as his free arm wrapped around my waist. It took everything in me to convince my exhausted body that it was a bad idea to lean against him, let him take some of my weight. 

Instead of dropping the form on the table and dragging me from the building like I half expected he would do (and half-hoped? - my headache was getting worse and worse), he instead led me to a chair and pushed me down into it, claiming the one next to it as he pulled the pen free of the clip. 

That jolted me out of the fog that surrounded me. No way was I telling him all my private information. 

I made a rather pitiful attempt to reclaim the papers, but Villain just looked at me in a way that confirmed how pathetic the attempt had been. I dropped back down into my chair, turning my bottle of orange juice around in my hands. 

 “This is really that important to you.” 

“Yes.” This time I set my orange juice down before reaching out to take the forms again. 

Villain sighed, rubbing a hand down his face as he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a plea for help. Then he held the forms between us like a peace offering. “What if we trade?” 

My nose wrinkled in confusion. “What?”

He tugged the clipboard back onto his lap. “If you agree not to donate any more blood today” I started to protest but his hand covered my mouth and I froze. “Then I’ll—” He gritted his teeth as though the words pained him. “Then I’ll donate instead.” 

Too preoccupied by his hand pressed to my lips, it took a moment for the meaning of his words hit me. 

“You?” I mumbled against his hand. 

Villain’s hand dropped away and he let out a put-upon sigh, but how could I not question his statement, especially when he said it like I’d asked him to return every cent he’d ever stolen? I hadn’t even suggested he donate, for crying out loud. 

“No.” 

Villain’s head reared back a little at my forcefulness, and I seized on his distraction to make a grab for the clipboard. My fingers didn’t even graze it, but I teetered forward, cursing myself for the sudden movement that had made the word turn all swirly-whirly. 

I closed my eyes against the wave of dizziness, not fighting as Villain shoved me, gently, back into my chair. “I wasn’t asking, Hero.” His long, lockpicking fingers—so skilled at freeing objects from their homes—wrapped around the curve of my shoulder, trapping me in place. 

I cracked one eye open, trying to piece together our conversation. 

“What?” Or at least that’s what I meant to say. It came out more of a “hammmgggh?” 

“You heard me.” He picked up the pen tucked in the top of the clipboard. 

The bout of dizziness passed, and a better solution presented itself. I looked around for a free volunteer. We were going to need a second clipboard. 

“Orrrrrrrr,” I dragged out the word, not quite believing what I was about to suggest. “We could both donate and save twice as many lives.” 

Villain shook his head, but didn’t look up from the paperwork he was now flying through. “You can let me donate in your place, or, I can drag you out of here kicking and screaming.” 

Why did I get the impression Villain would prefer the second option? 

I finally flagged down a free volunteer across the room and mimed writing on a clipboard. He nodded and I turned to glare at Villain. “It’s not up to you whether I donate or not.” 

“No.” He snapped, his voice rising. “It's not. Fortunately for you, you already donated today.” I blinked in confusion as his scowl morphed into a sweet smile. 

Until I turned and saw the volunteer hovering in front of us, nose crinkling in confusion as he shuffled the clipboard in his hands. “Oh, you already donated today?” 

Villain leaned back, releasing his death grip on the clipboard to swing an arm around my shoulders and pull me against his side. I tried to ram my elbow into his ribs, but as close as we were, it was barely a tap. 

“Yes.” His voice was a sweet, honeyed tone that completely lacked the mocking edge it normally carried. “She donated first thing, and when she told me about how desperate the need for blood is, I couldn't help but volunteer.” 

His hand tightened on my shoulder as he spoke the word desperate, but I ignored the insult, running through the usual donor sites, mentally calculating the next best option. It would be easy enough to slip away from Villain once he was hooked up to a blood bag. If I ordered a ride on my phone now, it should be ready by the time I slipped out the door. 

And despite his bold words, Villain wouldn’t make a scene, or waste his donation by ripping out the tubes and chasing after me. 

I felt a prick of guilt at basically conning Villain into donating blood. But. It was his idea. And I’d never actually agreed to not give more blood today if he did. 

When I snapped out of my planning, the volunteer had moved on, and Villain had returned to his paperwork. What he hadn’t done was remove his arm from around my shoulders. 

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel nice. Familiar.  As warm and comforting as it had felt a month ago draped across the back of the couch behind me as Villain gently felt for my pulse. 

My mind whirred as I implemented the first step of my plan. I tried to stand. Villain's arm instantly pulled me back down, trapping me next to him. 

Feigning irritation, I huffed and sank back into my chair. It had the wonderful consequence of me being buried further into his embrace. Villain’s pen paused, and I froze, waiting for his reaction. When he resumed writing, I slowly relaxed, easing my phone out of my pocket. I tried not to enjoy the warmth of his arm around me, knowing it was short lived. But oh, did I love the way it draped across my shoulders like a warm blanket, the way his fingers unconsciously rubbed circles across my arm as he frowned at the endless pages of the questionnaire. 

I tried to keep my expression bored as I googled the nearest blood drive. 7 blocks away. I rubbed my aching head. I’d definitely need a ride. 

Unfortunately, seeing as it only took me 37 seconds to speed across the entire city, I’d never had need of one before, and so I watched with impatience as the ride-share app slowly downloaded. 

The phone was plucked from my fingers before I could react. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

A spilt second glance at my screen was all it took for Villain to figure out my genius plan.

I shrank away from his impending judgment, but he simply shook his head and tucked my phone into his pocket. 

Before I could try to bolt for the door again, he stood, pulling me with him. 

“C’mon. I didn't fill out all this stupid paperwork for nothing.” He trapped my hand in a vise-like grip. I was a hairsbreadth from wrenching free when his thumb skated across the back of my hand. My already fuzzy brain short-circuited at the tenderness of the gesture, and I numbly followed as he tugged me towards the registration table. 

Villain flashed the nice old lady from earlier a too-wide, slightly terrifying smile, the expression so foreign it wrenched my brain free of its daze. I frowned up at him. The wide, sharp grin was nothing like his usual overbearingly confident half-smirk. No, it was all hard edges and gleaming white teeth and none of the soft eyes and quirked lips he usually wore. 

I shook myself as Villain shoved the forms across the table. I didn’t have any business telling his smiles apart. 

Yet I couldn’t help but wonder at the difference as he spoke, an unfamiliar, strained note in his voice. 

“Here’s your forms. Let’s get this done.”

Taglist: 

@im-a-wonderling @shieldmaiden-of-gondor @watercolorfreckles @distance-does-not-matter @onestopheroxvillain @lolafaiy @chaoticgoodandi @1becky1 @tobeornottobeateacher @himynameisorla @superherosweet @brekker-by-brekkerr @crazytwentythrees @great-day-today @sunflower1000@selectivegeekwithstandards @chibicelloking @trantolette @sapphiques @jinpanman @genesissane @wish1bone1 @amongtheonedaisy @distractedlydistracted @kitsunesakii @glitterythief @jinx1365 @cherrychewingbrat @in-patient-princess @thepenultimateword

[toujokaname]

Card shuffle / Episode 8

Author: Akira

Characters: AkanP, HiMERU, Kohaku, Niki, Mayoi, Tatsumi, Aira, Rinne, Hiiro

"Um. Shiina-san. I know you're hungry, but please don't eat my haaair."

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: MDM Stage

AkanP: Hmmm~...? Everyone, it looks like you don't understand this project as much as I thought you would? What should I do?

HiMERU: It's more accurate to say we "haven't been told" rather than implying we "don't understand." Please don't insinuate that the fault lies with us.

AkanP: Sure. But, um, since it's almost time for the show, you'll have to understand quickly, okay? I know you might not get the difficult stuff, but I'll explain it properly ♪

HiMERU: .........

Kohaku: I can practically hear HiMERU-han's stress gauge shootin' through the roof...

HiMERU: It's okay. Thanks to Shiina, HiMERU is used to his goodwill going to waste.

Niki: And so I'm the one who takes the brunt of it...!

HiMERU: If you can't do anything else, won't you at least be an outlet for stress relief?

Niki: Uwaaah! Mayo-chaaan, HiMERU-kun's bullying me~!

Mayoi: Hwehh?! Wh, wh-why are you coming to me for comfort? It's not like we're supposed to be particularly close or anything, right?!

Tatsumi: ...Actually, an explanation is in order. At the risk of repeating the same question over and over, how exactly will the Matrix matches function?

Our precious friends, including Mayoi-san, are also feeling anxious about it.

Mayoi: Ah, y-yes, unusually aggressive speech from Tatsumi-san... Even though he usually has the aura of a holy, loving figure, being neglected like this must be stressful.

Niki: *Munch munch munch ♪*

Mayoi: Um. Shiina-san. I know you're hungry, but please don't eat my haaair.

HiMERU: Apologies, our dog misbehaved.

Aira: I could run and grab something to munch on?

Rinne: Akan-san's gonna explain anyway, so just shut it and listen, okay?

AkanP: Right. It'll be quick, so bear with me a moment. Here, umm, Sheena-san[1]? Sheena-san, here's some candy for you ♪

HiMERU: You're in the middle of work, why do you carry such a thing with you?

AkanP: When you have little kids around, it's inevitable...

I basically only produce girls in ES, but surprisingly, sometimes blunders can be smoothed over with a sweet treat.

HiMERU: Female idols, you say. They don't get recognized at all in ES, which is why useless producers are pushed on to them.

AkanP: Please don't call me useless~... It hurts my feelings.

So, um, it's been a while since I've produced boys, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes.

HiMERU: (Been a while? Does that mean it's not the first time?)

(Well, despite seeming young, only an experienced producer could accumulate so many negative rumors...?)

AkanP: At any rate... I didn't have enough time to work out the details of Matrix, but as I was struggling with that, a very talented girl helped me out.

Her name's Anzu-chan, do you know her?

Hiiro: Of course. It'd be rarer to find someone in ES who doesn't know her.

Aira: ES takes pride in her being a super talented producer, after all!

AkanP: Right, it's amazing for such a young girl... Well, she said she'd help me, so I asked her to think about the details of the competition.

So, I think we're pretty much on track there, right?

HiMERU: Anzu-san must be very busy with her change in position starting in the new fiscal year, and yet she has been burdened with all this unnecessary work...

Niki: Change in position? Really? Where does HiMERU-kun always get that kinda information?

HiMERU: Primarily from the well-informed Deputy Director, but also from HiMERU's own personal research. He's rather adept at that sort of thing and enjoys it.

Rinne: Yup, the Great Detective Crazy:B's proud of ♪

AkanP: Hehe. So, um, what was I saying...? Right, this Matrix is set up as a fateful showdown between Crazy:B and ALKALOID

These two rookie units will compete to see which are the superior idols.

Tatsumi: Although there's nothing fateful about it. Well, I understand the point.

HiMERU: There is a lot of personal history involved, however.

AkanP: Yup. So, um, what did Anzu-chan say again...

Oh, right. Maybe the challenge in this Matrix contest should center on proving one's prowess as an idol.

By pitting idols against each other like this, we'll find out who truly excels at it, right? Um, do you understand what I'm saying?

Tatsumi: Prowess as an idol? Yet another vague statement...?

AkanP: To be specific, see, this time it's supposed to be ten matches. Well, I mean, I made the call on that.

So, in Matrix, I'd like to ask you to compete with the ten elements necessary to be an idol.

Aira: The ten elements necessary to be an idol?

AkanP: Yeah. Um, for example, in the first match, you'll compete in "singing ability." There's also, uh, what else, "acting ability" and "attractiveness"—

Basically, each match will test those ten crucial elements for idols.

After ten matches, the unit with the most wins will be considered the superior idols.

Aira: It's kinda rude to call it surprising, but it does sound surprisingly interesting. Feels like some sort of variety show.

AkanP: Right? Sounds fun, doesn't it? It's amazing, really, how the plan started getting interesting after Anzu-chan chimed in—

She's been a big help! I'll have to buy her dinner or something later.

HiMERU: At this stage, are you really making her help you free of charge...

AkanP: She's the type of girl to decline compensation... She's not assertive at all. Hehehe, she reminds me of my younger days.

HiMERU: Isn't it a rather disturbing future prospect for a talented producer to end up as a landmine producer...?

[ ☆ ]

AkanP says "Shiina" in hiragana instead of kanji, indicating some stiltedness in the way it's said.

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[sobeksewerrat]

Okay so- if you saw my aroace chr headcannon list, you probably saw Adam from Hazbin Hotel on there! It's been a while since I have written an essay, but honestly I really wanted to expand on my asexual Adam thought and @kiichu asked me to so here we go ;)

[ Just. Don't expect any actual thoughtful analysis. I am mostly just grasping at straws and projecting because I kin the dude ]

[ Oh yeah and I will reference the Trans Genesis AU a lot. Nope, Stanley and I did not abandon it. Sorry not sorry ]

First things first, let's look at his first appearance in episode 1.

Needless to say, he was a bit of an asshole. But something really stuck out to me.

In one of the scenes, he was recounting a date/one-night-stand he had to Charlie (because of course he was).

He clearly seemed to be describing the dinner date itself in detail, but he literally just caps it off with "and then we fucked, and it was awesome".

This line can be read in a few different ways, depending on your view.

1. They didn't actually fuck, the woman ditched him or didn't exist to begin with and he's lying to seem cooler.

2. It wasn't awesome (*at least for him, but yk could go both ways) and he wasn't about to go into detail about his less-than-stellar sexual encounter (I feel. Really uncomfortable writing this, I am too ace for this shit).

3. The logical explanation of the writers not wanting to include it for rating reasons and because of the episode's already short run time and also because we as the audience don't really need to know that. Though I think that if that were just that, a better alternative would've been that Adam either continues describing the date or starts describing the sex and either Lute or Charlie (or both) stop him.

For my interpretation of the ace Adam, we'll go with the second interpretation.

Allos love pointing out how "asexuals can still date/have sex" but they always neglect one thing: that's not exactly how sex-favourable and sex-neutral aces work.

I can't speak for everybody on the spectrum (especially since I am mostly repulsed), but wanting to have sex doesn't mean you feel sexual attraction.

So yeah this doesn't disprove him being asexual, though I am aiming for a very different interpretation.

Sex-repulsed Adam.

NOW, PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I KNOW I SOUND CRAZY!!

Ace men rarely get any representation, and a lot of men (especially cis men, but trans men too) don't realize they're ace or are actively in denial about it because of this thing called ✨toxic masculinity✨

I don't think it's too much of a hot take to say that Adam clearly falls into a lot of toxic masculinity stuff.

Being literally the first man, the original dick (or the original pussy if we're talking about the tgau), he is probably expected to uphold these harmful beliefs of masculinity or at least thinks he has to to be taken seriously (or be percieved as cis at least-).

Therefore, he's probably is in deep, deep denial of his asexuality and tries to cover it up by, well, sleeping around I guess (*hopefully not with human souls because i don't need any of the implications that come with that).

But that doesn't necessarily mean he enjoyed it, you know.

Now I don't wanna go too deep into this honestly quite depressing line of thought, so to keep it brief that's probably why he wouldn't go into detail about that one night stand- even though he totally seems like the type of guy who would talk about this stuff in excessive and unnecessary detail (can you tell I love torturing this guy. I mean if yk the TGAU you probably already know but shush).

That or because a lot of aces literally cannot talk about sex seriously. It has to be a joke or about an ao3 smut fic.

*ahem* Moving on-

The infamous "Now, I'm going to FUCK you" scene that every Adamsapple shippers love (no hate to Adamsapple shippers btw, except @roryheart fuck you Rory /lh silly (I love you buddy don't take this seriously)).

Just. Just look at his face when Lucifer says it.

It could just be pure confusion, which is quite understandable tbh.

Or we could go with the funny interpretation of Adam being so autistic and ace, he thought for a second that Lucifer was actually hitting on him this whole time and he just didn't notice. Purely because this has actually happened to me before and I wanna project-

Moreover, he looks lowkey disgusted by it and just attacks Lucifer immediately.

Whatever, now we get to the ✨angst potential✨ of ace Adam.

Elaborating on the bit of toxic masculinity from earlier, maybe he thinks that his aversion to stuff like is why both Lilith (and presumably Eve) cheated on him with Lucifer, because he wasn't a real man.

And if we wanna get really depressing, all we have to do is just remember that his only purpose was to have as many children with Eve (and previously Lilith) as possible to populate the Earth.

Yeah, sounds like a total nightmare scenario.

I have a few other ideas, but they're really half baked and not really well put together and stuff- idk I just think ace Adam is a cool idea.

Sorry if this wasn't exactly the essay any of you were looking for but I genuinely just think it'd be fun and kinda interesting to explore really.

Btw gonna make "sobek rants" exclusively for angry rants and gonna repurpose "brainingsewer" for essays and analysis and stuff. Not that anybody really cares about my tagging system.

[amelia1skyz]

More shigaraki brothers hcs :)❤ I've got alot this time! (with detailed explanation 💀)if you didn't see the first one go check it out! It's somewhere..deep in my profile👍

- this goes back to the hc of them sharing a bed, every morning afo would wake up on the ground due to yoichi pushing him off cuz he "took too much space", which is why their parents ended up buying them that big 2 people bed

- when yoichi was a baby/toddler/kid he was one of those annoying ass children that will pull your hair so hard for no reason, and he would pull afos hair and his dads beard or chew on it but he never did it to his mom cuz he loves his mama, and their parents kept like a chunk of afos hair in a box to remember the time when yoichi was a baby and pulled way too hard on afos hair💀💀💀

- afo will sometimes sit next to yoichi, then grab one of his feet and pull on his toes to crack them cuz that's a older siblings evil nature, and yoichi would just scream and kick him in the face cuz that shit hurts 💀

- lowkey I feel like yoichi was spoiled and bratty up until after he finished middle school, mostly cuz his parents spoiled him since he was that "sick, weak youngest of the family", and yoichi wasn't necessarily bratty to his family but to outside people, but he would still always get his way

- afo was never actually jealous when his parents spoiled yoichi more than him, it made him feel more confident and stronger knowing he dosent need to be spoiled so he never was jealous of yoichi

- they used to watch teen titans together. (Afo's favourite was starfire and probably still is cuz she's similar to yoichi or am I delulu😍)

- one time yoichi threw up on all for one while he was trying to feed yoichi his medicine cuz ew medicine, yoichi did nothing but laugh while afo just "🧍🏻‍♂️😨" (I may or may not be projecting)

- yoichi and afo actually looked very alike when they we're kids, afos hair was curly when he was little and whenever yoichi had his hair short it would curl the same way afos hair does, they stopped looking alike after afos body became more muscular(?)

- yoichi was one of those babies that were born with a whole ass set of hair and by the time he was 2 his hair was above his shoulders by a little bit, his mom would cut it but figured he looked cuter with long hair

- afo had small freckles that disappeared as he grew up

- afo will pick up yoichi and toss him on his shoulder for no reason, he'd do this as kids too since it would scare little yoichi😭

- all for one nicknames yoichi as "chi-chi"

- actually don't know if this counts as hc for the shigaraki brothers, but I feel like their parents were never abusive or mean but rather gentle and caring, and their dad was more sweet meanwhile their mom was like the low tempred one, not towards them but like towards other people I mean, you bully yoichi or afo? She makes a riot about it and does bad things to the children or people who hurt her babies, and I like to think shes the one with the all for one quirk that..afo💀 inherited, other than that she was a caring parent along with the dad, but then they died😞 how? Idk, I also like to think of their mom's personality like alices personality from genshin impact (you can search up on her if you wanna know how she's like and what she's done)

- yoichi dosent support afos actions and will necessarily not forgive him, but he'll never bring himself to say he hates his older brother despite what he's done

- yoichi was the more feral brother growing up (hehe feral yoichi I love it) and afo was the one that had to keep him from running around and destroying things for no reason like a cat

- when they were kids, all for one would make yoichi watch those jumpscare videos for no reason, idk why but I like to think that all for one loved to scare yoichi for no reason as kids despite having to make unnecessary promises that he'll regret for yoichi so he can stop crying so their parents don't get mad like

"Shsshshsh! Shhh! I'm sorry! I'll read your captain hero comics with you without stopping mid chapter if you stop crying!" -afo

[mylittlecomfortplace]

Mistakenly Saving the Villain [Danmei Review]

➺ 4.5/5 🌟

TW: r*pe/ sexual assault, mental health issues, attempted suicide

Before I reached the end, I already decided to give this danmei a solid 4 stars. But the last there or four chapters, that explanation at the end about where everything started? That deserves a 4.5 stars!! Still not quite a 5 stars, but almost!!

I've already read quite a few transmigration novels and most of them didn't bother giving an explanation as to why and how the transmigration happened. I have nothing against those novels because I enjoyed most of them and not that it bothered me, I still liked the flow of the plot regardless. But this novel coming back around at the end, making even the tiniest details make sense is what made me give this another half a star rating!!

I actually want to list some of the things that seemed one thing but in reality, they weren't just that simple. THESE ARE A LITTLE BIT SPOILER-Y:

I was actually not a big fan of love triangles because of so many reasons, and I didn't realize this novel also has one. I thought it was a bit unnecessary, that the plot can still do without it. But it was revealed that the second love interest's existence served an entirely different purpose than just being the love rival, and I loved that so much!

There are a lot of reviews from NU about not wanting to finish this because they said that the MC is too 'stupid'. Song Qingshi is not really stupid as they say, he's actually very smart, but his intelligence is mostly focused on his specific field, especially in medicine. He is more like having a very low EQ, not really good at picking up social cues, very ignorant to the things that doesn't concern his work and he didn't really know how to deal with people. He has social anxiety (and usually stutters when talking to other people, except when talking about his medicines) and that drew the line between him and the outside world. Because of that, he seemed very slow in the head. He's very naive and gullible most of the time. But that part of him actually has an unexpected explanation that those SQS haters didn't get to know because they chose to drop this novel halfway because of the reason that the MC is too 'stupid'.

And for someone with a very low EQ and not good with words, Song Qingshi can sometimes deliver the most beautiful lines:

You once wished me good luck for the night and now, I want to wish you good luck your entire life.

Song Qingshi gently placed his palm on his chest and said gently, "Wuhuan, your heart is sick" Yue Wuhuan bowed his head and asked, "My heart?" His heartbeat was speeding up. His body was burning hot, as if it was calling out to something. Song Qingshi raised his head. "Does it hurt every day?" Yue Wuhuan looked at him for a long time, and finally nodded. "It hurts" Song Qingshi took him into his arms, patted him and comforted him softly, "Don't be afraid. I'll hurt with you"

"Don't give up and don't persuade me to give up either. I have the world's most stubborn heart, even if I hit a wall thousands of times, ten thousands of times, I will never look back. If you really can't bear the pain and despair and decide to abandon this world, then I will accompany you"

Song Qingshi's love for watching the clouds as a hobby. It seemed like something the author would randomly threw as the MC's pastime, especially as a loner, but there's more to it than that.

All the dreams about the phoenix. We all know who that phoenix is, and that there's something important about the dreams, but once the significance of those dreams was revealed, re-reading those dreams makes so much sense.

The ML Yue Wuhuan has an special attachment with different stones, especially the beautiful ones. His hobby of collecting stones is tied to his real identity and after knowing his identity, it revealed why he has a natural affinity with Song Qingshi. And that actually makes my heart so soft!

The MC saying that 'my heart is born for you' to the ML, you might think it's only for romantic appeal? NO!! There's a deeper meaning to that!!

The ML also has a yandere personality that some of the readers didn't really like but just so you know, he's the type of yandere that knows his own boundaries and limitations. He is self-aware. He might be the best yandere that I've read in a while that never forced himself to the MC. And his yandere personality didn't just come out of nowhere either. You might say that his yandere personality comes from his trauma, but him trying to control his possessiveness so that he wouldn't suffocate the MC is also making his mental health issues more severe, hence the stalemate.

There are a lot more, but I won't list all of them. You can pick this up if you want to learn more. Just know that:

This novel certainly has some heavy topics. Trigger warnings are there for a reason. There are chapters that are really hard to read. Fortunately if a chapter gets really heavy with trigger warnings, the translator has this note at the start of that specific chapter that provided a summary of it so you can choose to skip it without losing the importance of that chapter. I personally read the whole chapters so I know how heavy it got sometimes, so proceed with caution if you plan on reading this.

Thinking back about how this novel started, I was surprised how much the plot grew from just a simple transmigration to something much more than that. I never expected all of it to happen just from the first few chapters and I loved where the plot took me.

[remnantsofthepast-if]

Monthly Update - January 2024

​ Hello everyone once again! I hope you've had an amazing start to the year. Whether you celebrated it in a big way or with something much quieter, I hope there was no shortage of food! Now, that's definitely something Enid would say, hehe :D.

---

As for the project, after some unexpected complications, I finally published Chapter 8 a few weeks ago! In the end, it turned out longer than I had planned, but I'm getting used to that happening, hahaha! Now it's time to start writing Chapter 9, the last one of this first act! Initially, this chapter seems like it will flow much smoother than the previous one. I usually have a clear image of how each chapter will go and then create a brief summary. In this case, I've expanded the summary a bit more than I usually do, hoping it will help with the writing process. But of course, part of the beauty of creativity lies in the unexpected, both for the good and the bad, so we'll take it step by step each day.

Man, I can barely believe I've reached the end of Act 1. I'm very excited! For several reasons that I can't reveal yet, tempting as it may be, hahaha! I'll just say I have a surprise prepared that I hope you like :D. Besides that surprise, it will finally be time to implement all the changes I had in mind and fix certain things about the characters and the plot here and there, especially in Chapter 2, which I revisited a few days ago, and... let's just say, to all those who read and understood Rayco/Gara and Enid's explanation, congratulations, because I dumped a lot of unnecessary info there for no reason, lol! It's definitely something that needs fixing, and as I mentioned recently, all these changes and revisions will come out alongside Chapter 9.

Finally, there's something important I want to say about this story. Once Chapter 9 is published, a week later, this first act will be available to buy, and the playable demo will be reduced. I still don't know exactly when the demo will be cut, but I was thinking roughly halfway through the story. However, this has brought a small issue too, which is that I don't know how to export it for mobile. I've been experimenting with the Monaca platform, and it looks interesting, but there's something that doesn't quite convince me :/. I've also thought about switching from Twine to ChoiceScript, but it seems confusing and limiting in terms of customization, and no matter how comfortable it is that Hosted Games handles all distribution and such, it’s just a big no for me at first glance. The good thing would be that at least with ChoiceScript you can export your save files from one book to another, which is something you cannot do with Twine or Renpy. Well... you can, actually, but that involves a lot of programming and coding that I have no idea about and if something goes wrong I wouldn’t be able to solve the issues, so it’d be more of a disadvantage than anything else.

Going back to Renpy would be more viable and comfortable for exporting, as I could maintain a single itch.io page. With Twine, I would have to create one for each act to keep the demos separate, and I’m not sure how to feel about that, to be honest :/.

I don't know, I’m just rambling at this point. These are things I'll have to think about since I don't want it to be confusing when playing Remnants. Anyway, I'll do some tinkering and play around a bit with Renpy to see how it feels, and if I'm not convinced, I guess I'll stick with Twine and add an intro for the player to pick all the important choices from Act 1 before continuing with Act 2. I appreciate any suggestions if anyone has them, though :D.

---

Have a fantastic month and see you at the end of February ;)

By the way, I’m making a few gifts for all of you for February 14! Nothing huge, but a nice detail that I hope you like :D.

[socionicsdatabase]

Desperate me has a hard time placing myself among all (!) quadras, even, not knowing which ExFx I am. Probably due to low Ti, ironically 😅You don't have to write a book, though if you have time, what's /the/ surefire way to know which ExE/xEE one is? I've tried everything, to no avail. So frustrating not to find one's type 😭Thank you in advance. PS: What a marvelously informative and concise blog! I read it for hours, it's all so neatly laid out 😍What is your type, in fact? - ethic anon ❤️

I'm glad you find the information here helpful!

To distinguish between ExE and xEE, the easiest thing to do first would be determine whether Ti is your suggestive function or your vulnerable function.

Ti (introverted logic) is the function that analyzes formal rules and patterns. It tries to achieve understanding by establishing relationships between facts. For types that value Ti, facts are only accepted if they already fit into the overall logical structure that the Ti user has created. Things have to "make sense", based on their own understanding and analysis. Facts that are outside of this structure can be discarded.

So to narrow it down, ask yourself:

Do you like it when someone provides long, detailed and orderly explanations about things? - likely ExE, Ti suggestive

OR do you lose patience when someone is overly detailed and would prefer to just be shown what to do in an efficient way? - likely xEE, Ti polr

Do you more often feel rules and guidelines provide a helpful structure that gives you a sense of organization? Are rules a source of comfort? - likely ExE, Ti suggestive

OR do you more often feel rules and guidelines are restrictive and unnecessary? - likely xEE, Ti polr

Do you put great care into filling out paperwork and forms and strive to be precise when doing so? - likely ExE, Ti suggestive

Is it frustrating to fill out forms, complete official paperwork or work on administrative tasks? Would you prefer to avoid it completely and have someone else take care of it? - likely xEE, Ti polr

Are you usually interested in how and why something works? - likely ExE, Ti suggestive

...Or just how to use it? - likely xEE, valued Te > Ti

Reflecting on the above and figuring out which of those you lean toward more often will hopefully help narrow down your relationship with Ti.

Once you've figured that out, the next thing to do to help narrow it down is figure out whether you are a sensory type or intuitive type.

If you've decided you are likely ExE - Do you have a strong understanding of your bodily needs and those of others? Do you know how to create comfort for yourself and others? Are you an aesthete with a natural eye for what looks good and a strong understanding of how to create beauty? Is harmony and beauty in your surroundings very important to you, and are you able to create it? Are you a natural caregiver or natural hostess? If so...likely ESE.

On the other hand, do you ignore or overestimate all the above? Are you either overly concerned with, or completely indifferent to, your health, appearance, and the beauty and harmony of your surroundings? Do you struggle taking care of your own physical needs and those of others? Do you have trouble judging whether something looks good, or have you ever been told you have strange tastes? Is cooking and caretaking something you would rather not ever have to do, and something you struggle with when you do have to? If so...likely EIE.

If you've decided you are likely xEE - Are you fascinated with and constantly looking for the unique, mysterious, strange, and unusual? Do you frequently fantasize and daydream? Do you have a good feel for opportunities? Are you easily able to see the multitude of possibilities available to you in the world, easily see what could be, but get exhausted with sustained physical exertion? Do you lack a natural athleticism and struggle to be aware of what is happening around you in the present moment? If so...likely IEE

OR do you have a naturally strong command over your body, a natural athleticism, and a high awareness of what is happening around you in the present moment? Does sustained physical exertion come easily to you, do you like physical challenges? Do you feel natural putting pressure on others? Are you naturally domineering and enjoy using force to overcome obstacles? Are you a practical and concrete person? Do you live in the present moment and see things for what they are, but struggle to see what could be or what might happen in the future? If so...likely SEE.

If you reflect on what you are most likely to lean toward from the options above, it should give you some ability to narrow it down to your type. There are many other differences between the various ExEs and xEEs, but the above points are some of the easiest ways to distinguish between them.

[etherealmoonbow]

Headcanons for Mablung Falling in Love with You

Hello lovely people! I hope you are all doing good💕. I wrote some more Mablung headcanons. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about him lately. I think he is a character that deserves to be explored in more depth.

I hope you enjoy the headcanons and have a good day. 🥰

-Mablung is an admirable warrior, he always keeps his promises and believes in values and moral.

-That’s why King Thingol thinks highly of Mablung and even made him commander of Doriath’s army. 

-Even so, Mablung seems difficult to approach. He is frequently serious and cold when he interacts with others. Especially when he is on duty.

-However this all changed, when his eyes fell on you for the first time.

 -The first time Mablung saw you he felt enchanted. He couldn’t get his eyes off you. He was afraid you thought he was a creep, but your beauty was irresistible to him. 

-For Mablung, your beauty surpassed the one of Luthien and you shined brighter than the silmarill in his eyes.

 -It was impossible not to notice Mablung’s gaze from afar. Mablung was always wore a neutral face, but this time, he couldn’t hide his feelings.

-He blushed when your eyes met his or he quickly turned his face away “making sure” there was no danger around. But he fooled none.

-Mablung had to use his influence in the city to discover your name and the place where you worked.

-It was easy for you to notice the famed warrior. Especially such a handsome warrior. 

 -You started encountering with him more regularly around the halls of Menergoth. This was never a bother, it could be considered as luck even.

-The kingsguard started patrolling the areas that you frequented. It was surely not a thing of fate. And Mablung was always with the guards that crossed your path. 

 -Beleg and the other soldiers didn’t took long to notice his strange behavior. The focused and serious Mablung was now inattentive and distant. 

 -Mablung started smiling without any clear reason. Daydreamed when watching the passing clouds or the moon. And drifted away in his own thoughts. Only the Valar know what was on his mind. 

 -Beleg started to think he was falling ill. There was no other logical explanation for Mablung’s rare behaivor. Or maybe he needed some urgent vacations.

-Even so, Mablung ached for meeting you, but he did not dare to say a single phrase to you. When a word was just about to leave his mouth a lump formed on his throat not permiting him to speak.

-Mablung had two weaknesses, you and a very much deserved drink after spending a great amount of time away home.

-Mablung had more than one drink this time and Beleg took advantage of the situation in order to discover what was wrong with Mablung. 

-Mablung confessed his feelings towards you to Beleg, and maybe many unnecessary details too.

-Mablung admited his great agony was due to his cowardness. He was too scared to ask you out, afraid you’d reject him and break his heart. That’s why everytime he came up to you he ended up looking like a fool when he tried to speak.

 -The next day Mablung regretted telling Beleg about his feelings when he was drunk during the night on the tavern.

-Not because he didn’t wanted his friend to know about his feelings for you. But because Beleg will tease him for the rest of his days. 

 -Since that day, Beleg wouldn't stop pestering Mablung. During training, patrolling, even in front of King Thingol.

-“Why did you let me win this time? Have (y/n) made your heart soften?”

-“Smiling alone again? Thinking about (y/n)?”

-”Why are you suddenly out of words? Is (y/n) around?”

 -But Mablung would take advantage of the situation as he always do.

-On the past he didn’t had anyone to talk about his feelings for you. King Thingol would have found it strange and there was no one he trusted as much as Beleg.

-Beleg became Mablung's confidant (a decision Beleg didn’t made). This was something the elf would regret later. 

-At every given opportunity, Mablung would start speaking about you to Beleg. At first it was fine, but Beleg was getting tired of listening of the same topic.

 -Soon enough, Beleg was exhausted of Mablung’s monologues about your perfect smile and beautiful eyes.

-So one day, Beleg couldn’t resist anymore of the daily monologue and in an attempt to shut Mablung’s mouth he came up to you and casually mentioned Mablung’s enormous crush on you.

-Mablung would have choked Beleg right there if it hadn’t been for your sweet giggle and your curious look.

 -Mablung acted awkward at first, but when he saw you had no intention to reject him he started to loosen up. 

 -Beleg was extremely proud of his matchmaker skills. He made sure to remind Mablung of it once in a while.

  -With time, your friendship with Mablung bloomed to be a great love that no war in the world would be able to break nor any age able to fade. You were his and he was yours.

[fesweetpea]

It's Wednesday y'all

Mac is out in the hallway, sitting on a chair that's somewhere between livingroom-comfortable and principal's-office miserable. His elbows are digging into his knees and his head is hanging low, eyes closed but directed somewhere in the area of his belt buckle. He's pressing the tips of all his fingers into the base of his skull. The moderate gash back there has closed, not even a trace of dried blood remains. The area might still be tender but he's having a hard time separating that from the headache that's been creeping around his occiput for about a week now.

There's a small whoosh of air as the door beside him swings open.

"Hello Mac," Wesley greets him softly. Just the voice is enough to dial back the ache a notch and he looks up, smiles at them. "Come on in. I'm ready for you."

In the room the lights are low and maybe Mac is imagining it but the music sounds a little softer than usual. More instrumental. Wes gestures to the usual patient chair and seats themselves on the rolling stool that's been pulled up against the desk. Mac lowers himself carefully, steadying his descent with palms placed firmly on the soft arms of the upholstered chair. He sighs once he's still again.

"How are you doing, Mac?" Wes asks, tablet reflecting light onto their face but generously out of Mac's eyeline.

Mac looks with his eyes, keeping his head steady. "Well, with the welcome you and this room have given me I'm going to assume you'd know I was lying if I said I was fine?"

Wes just smiles, tips their head to the side in the form of a question.

Mac opts for succinct, "I've had a headache for like a week."

"That sounds unpleasant," Wesley sympathizes.

Mac forces some air out of his lungs. "Yeah. Yeah, it kinda is."

"I can see you made a trip to medical last week. I have access to the basic notes the doctor made but obviously the details are redacted. You came in with a scalp laceration. No stitches required. You passed concussion protocol and were discharged within the hour."

"Yep. And based on those notes I'm sure you can figure out who was responsible for that unnecessary trip to medical." Mac is looking down at his shoes. He really wants to roll his eyes but isn't going to risk the pain spike.

"Jack worries," Wes supplies, like that's the only explanation needed. "So, what happened? Tell me as much as you can tell me."

"I got hit in the head with the hood of a car." There's that brevity again.

"So it just walked out in front of you and hit you?" Wes questions cheekily. "How do these things just happen to you?"

The detail oriented, organizational part of Mac's brain wars with the side that doesn't want to say outloud what really happened. He knows it doesn't really matter, the outcome is the same. No matter how it happened the headache will still be end result.

Mac breathes in slowly through his nose. "Jack dropped the hood of a car on the back of my head."

[invisibleraven]

Here, let me carry you-- Sweet Tarts

Carrie tapped her foot impatiently, glancing at her watch and sighed in an annoyed fashion. This is why she hated relying on Uber for rides, she was never sure if she was gonna get a creep, or worse, ghosted like she was sure she was being right now.

This was why she desperately needed her licence back. Look it wasn't her fault that those lights all happened to turn red just as she went through them okay? It just seemed to be her luck to always run them, and the judge was less than understanding after it happened a few dozen times.

So for now she was standing outside her hotel, ready to just give in and call a taxi when an ancient looking truck pulled up in front of her. The window rolled down and an admittedly cute guy looked out, lowering his shades to peer at her. "You Carrie?'

"You're late," she answered in reply, opening the door and tossing her bags in the backseat.

"Can't be helped doll, traffic lets up for no man. Plus every toll in town is out to get me I swear. Sorry for the tardiness though. Now, where am I taking you?" he said as she secured her seatbelt.

Carrie spat out the address and then stared out the window stubbornly, arms crossed as the scenery flew by. Her driver (the app said his name was Reggie) hummed along to the country station playing on the radio, oblivious to her foul mood.

It wasn't his fault really. Sure, he had been late, and that hadn't helped, but Carrie was grumpy to begin with. The conference had been tedious and unnecessary to her, but her boss told her to go, even put her up in a nicer room, and promised her a promotion next quarter, so she went. Now all she wanted was to go home to her own bed and chill in front of her television for the rest of the day.

"So are you the chatty type or the sit in awkward silence for the duration of the ride type?" Reggie asked as they pulled onto the highway. "Personally I prefer to talk, but I draw the line at car games. Did one stint with a family and I swear I never wanna hear the words I Spy again after that."

"Silence please," Carrie begged. "My head is pounding and the heat isn't helping. Why do you even own a vehicle without AC here?"

"Sorry, Old Betsy's coolant is a little low. When we make a put stop I'll top her up," Reggie offered in explanation. "I usually have a sensible wagon for this, but she's in the shop getting detailed and this ride is helping pay for it."

He reached into the back then, pulling out a bottle of water and offered it to her. "There's Advil in the glove box if you want it. Boy Scout and all."

"Something tells me you were never a Scout," Carrie snarked as she cracked open the bottle, letting the tepid water soothe the parched nature of her throat before rooting around to find the pills, tossing them back as well.

"Guilty, but it still never hurts."

They drove a while longer in silence, save the low sounds of the radio, and Carrie finally felt some of the pressure surrounding her skull start to abate. "Thanks," she whispered. "For the water and the pills. They seem to be helping."

"All part of the Reggie package," he replied, lowering his sunglasses to send her a wink before directing his eyes back to the road. Only the truck seemed to be slowing, and he screwed up his face as his foot pressed down harder on the gas.

No dice, and the truck was going a mere crawl. "I have to pull over," Reggie said, easing her onto the shoulder, the engine giving a weak cough as he applied the brake. Carrie threw her head back and groaned as Reggie went to take a look.

"God what else can go wrong?" she said.

"Bad news I'm afraid," Reggie said as he rounded the cab again. "We're overheated and it dried up my oil."

"I had to ask didn't I?" Carrie muttered to herself.

"No worries, it's a small hike to the nearest pit stop, I can jaunt on over and get her filled. You can come with or stay here."

Carrie was about to reply she would just call for another car, but of course her phone was near dead with no reception. She didn't exactly relish either option, but maybe the walk would do her good. Or lead her to a working phone. She grabbed her bag and hopped out of the truck, then thought better of it, grabbing another bottle of water from the back before Reggie locked up the truck.

"Let's go."

It wasn't long before Carrie really regretted her decision. Her shoes were not the best choice for a trek and with the sun beating down, her sensible business attire felt sweltering. "How much farther is this rest stop?" she asked.

"Probably another fifteen minutes?" Reggie replied, wiping his brow with a handkerchief he had fetched from his back pocket. "But once I get what we need there you can stay while I hoof it back to Betsy."

Carrie almost levelled him with a glare when her foot caught on a rock, making a sharp pain echo from her ankle as it twisted. She hissed and dropped, swearing under her breath as it already started to bruise.

"Fuck my life," she said, glancing up at the sky.

"Come on, I'll help you," Reggie said, looping an arm under her to help her up. "You think you can hobble?"

Carrie tried putting weight on her foot and immediately shrieked in pain. "That's a no."

"Here," Reggie said, "Let me carry you."

"Wait?"

"I can carry you," he repeated. "You want piggy back or bridal style?"

"You just said it was another fifteen minutes!" Carrie protested. "You can't carry me that far!"

"I'm stronger than I look," Reggie replied. "Come on, I can't leave you here and I doubt we're anywhere my phone will get bars t call for an ambulance. So?'

"Piggy back," Carrie grumbled, hefting herself onto Reggie. He lifted her and her bag with ease, trotting down the road.

He was warm, and a tiny bit sweaty, but Carrie found that he could lift her, and didn't seem to be straining. He was making sure not to jostle her ankle more than needed and even offered her his shades if she wanted them.

"I'm good," she replied quietly. "Do you want some water?"

Reggie shook his head and kept going. "I'm fine doll, no worries. We're almost there." He nodded to where Carrie could see the sign for the rest stop shining ahead like a beacon.

Finally their oasis was in sight.

Thankfully they made it there, with Reggie setting her down on the bench outside, collapsing next to her and taking the offered water, downing half of it and pouring more over his face. Carrie sucked in a breath as the droplets caught in his hair, on his eyelashes, and his eyes opened to reveal a startling green colour, the redness of his face highlighting golden freckles.

"I'll be right back. You want me to help you in? Get you anything?"

"A Diet Coke?"

"Comin' right up."

Carrie slumped back on the bench, taking out her phone. Three bars. But then, instead of calling for another ride, she put it back, Lifted her foot onto the bench and grinned when Reggie came back out with her drink and an ice pack.

"Owner offered me this. He's going to have his employee drive me to the truck and I'll be back in a jiff. Unless you wanna call for someone else?' Reggie asked, his fingers playing with each other as he avoided her eyes. "I would totally understand if you did."

"I'll be here waiting," Carrie replied, sipping at her drink.

Reggie beamed, and took off, promising that he would be right back, and the owner was right there if she needed anything. Carrie waved him off, and sat back on the bench, humming.

It was only after he pulled out of sight did she pull out her phone again and opened the Uber app. Making sure to give Reggie's service five stars.

[smallerthantherain]

Beep. Beep. Beep.

That blasted heartrate monitor just won’t stop the incessant noise like some sort of annoying little bug that went ahead and made a home inside my ear. I want to squash that little bug into itty bitty pieces. Completely and violently erase this machine designed to audibly torture me as I cling to the last shreds of my life. I wonder if this is how those wealthy fuckers felt about me when I was snuffing them out. Surely, they at least felt the same hatred for me- well, that is a two-way street. My entire life I was put under heel by the Prime Government Organization, the oh-so-mighty PGO, and to watch as their leaders slip away from this harrowing existence… well, there isn’t much better entertainment. Knowing that I robbed those assholes of their very lives and lived out mine to old age? Nothing better.

Beep, Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I know I said that I wish the machine would shut up, but this feels like I’m being mocked. Right when I think about shutting it down for good, it speeds up? What kind of..

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I, it’s getting hard to, to breathe. I can’t…I can’t think? Oh fuck. Oh FUCK?

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

…

…

………………….

Beep.

I rise out of my bed gasping for the air that was unattainable, but as I am lifting up my body I hit some sort of solid line and my body stops. A clinking sound jingles in my ears as I try a couple more times and I’m starting to realize that the line feels like metal.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

That noise again, that annoying heartrate monitor. I try to lift my arm and bat the agonizing sound-maker away from me, but my arm and wrist suffers the same fate as my torso.

I am bound?

“Hello, Mr. Jefferson. Welcome back to the world of the living. The date is March 15th, 3,586. You have been posthumously resurrected around 1,359 years after your expiration.”

A figure suddenly starts speaking from the corner of the room and the shock of their voice snaps my attention. A mid-30s clean-cut suit sitting on a very odd-looking chair in the corner of my hospital room. Wait, looking more closely around me…this isn’t my hospital room? Hold on. Did he just say year 3,586?

“We at the Eminent Transcendent Future of Sol, the E.T.F.S, have dutifully resurrected your lifeless body. You have also been de-aged to the point of mature adulthood, around the time when you committed most of your crimes. The E.T.F.S have determined that your crimes against humanity and your persistence in the elimination of our early leaders greatly halted the evolution of our very species. After reviewing the time-dilation ViewRing, we at the E.T.F.S have determined that your person did not suffer anywhere near the requisite amount of penance for the severity of your heinous deeds.”

The suit reaches under his strange-looking chair and pulls up a single piece of paper in front of him and begins to read. At this point, I am completely befuddled. I don’t even know how to begin to respond. De-aging? My hands certainly do look much less wrinkled…

“By the credence and righteousness granted to my personhood by the Eminent Transcendent Future of Sol, I hereby declare you, Charles Jefferson, guilty of several grave crimes against our collective existence. I have already described in some detail the transgressions you have committed, and any further explanation is now unnecessary as your personhood has been legally stripped. You, by law, are no longer considered a human being but a remnant of a criminal vessel. By the power of the justice system that supports me, I now sentence you to four thousand years of continuous torture. You will remain at your current age and health, only to be eliminated once the appropriate penance has been delivered.”

I immediately go wide-eyed at this statement and begin to object, but before I can even open my mouth a metal strap sharply shoots out from the bedframe behind me and wraps around my head to restrain me. The metal slithers across my face and clamps so hard against my mouth that a muffled grunt comes out. Suddenly, several smaller metal snakes shoot out from behind me and constrict my biceps, my thighs, and around my waist. I immediately begin to struggle but these are strong. I cannot budge these metallic bonds whatsoever, and they’re cutting into my body so painfully. Suddenly, my body is forcibly lurched upwards into a standing position, and the bed I was laying on retracts into some trapdoor mechanism in the floor. This leaves me standing in a crucifix position, and the metal straps slam me against the wall to my back.

“Well then, Mr. Jefferson. That will be all.” The suit stands up from the odd-looking chair and exits the room through a suddenly appearing slit in the wall right behind where he was sitting, only for the slit to close back into solid wall and for the strange chair to disappear into the floor just like the bed.

Moments later, the floor in front of me opens up into several small two-foot square holes and suddenly a few heartrate monitors pop out. More and more keep rising from the floor to my disbelief, until the room is almost packed full of these horrible little machines. Suddenly, each monitor begins to turn on in different orders and to my agony they all begin to sound off that terrible noise.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

I can’t even hear my own muffled screams.

Satisfied, you happily die of old age in your bed, knowing that they cannot prosecute you for what you’ve done. 400 years later, you are resurrected in front of a tribunal.

[salescalability]

KISS-KEEP IT SIMPLE, SILLY!

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. – Hans Hofmann.

Make it simple, but significant. – Don Draper

So this is my focus word of this year – “Simple“.

I remember a conversation with Bob Miller the co-founder of Miller Heiman Group where we were discussing a deal with a large industrial organization and their brief to us outlined a very complex sales structure. Even when we went into details of understanding their seller KPIs and incentive structure it was really complicated. Bob said, they have complicated their life too much for their own good. “Complex is easy, simple is tough !” This stuck with me and I constantly keep looking out for this.

As I look around me I realize we are continuously investing in making our lives complex. We invest in Technology to reduce time and effort and then bring in other related technologies to support that one technology and then sometimes we land up in this web where we loose the value of the original solution.

We have aggressive audacious goals and in the attempt to deliver on all of them we gather all the resources and create complex project deliverables. After a while people lose the sizzle and projects get abandoned and this adds to the complexity. Then we hire consulting firms for Simplification projects !

I see Sellers fall into this trap, we understand the client’s needs and in our attempt to create a comprehensive proposal we often make a complex project. Then we are stuck either with the client not buying it or if they do buy then delivery is a challenge.

A friend recently introduced me to a concept (the advantage of intelligent friends!) called the Occam’s razor. Occam’s razor (mental model) can be summarized as follows: Among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected. In simpler language, Occam’s razor states that the simplest explanation is preferable to one that is more complex. Simple theories are easier to verify. Simple solutions are easier to execute.

So, my goal this year is to consciously break down complexity and focus on the Simple. I know Simple is not easy but it is required. I have identified 3 things that I feel are important for attempting to keep things Simple ���

Ask questions to get to the core. Allow the child state of mind to take over and satiate your curiosity. Ask all the questions you need to till you understand the core of the problem. Like Simon Sinek says use the 5 Whys. To make it simple you need to understand it well.

Articulate your understanding and get feedback. Always get feedback and be open to changing your opinion/ project/solution. I understand there is a fear sometimes to feel what if my opinion/project/solution may get rejected, but if it has to get rejected it will anyways with or without an opportunity to seek feedback.

Final one for me, is to remember to Own the outcome and not the idea! There can be many paths to a destination and being open to feedback and learning from others allows you to seek alternatives. You can then pick the Simplest one, cause remember simple solutions are easy to execute.

It is always the simple that produces the marvelous. – Amelia Barr In sales, it's easy to get caught up in complex strategies and intricate plans. But as Bob Miller of the Miller Heiman Group pointed out, "Complex is easy, simple is tough." This year, we're focusing on the power of simplicity. By streamlining our approaches, we can make sales consultancy and sales training more effective, helping businesses thrive. The principle of Occam’s Razor teaches us that the simplest solution is often the best. This is especially true in sales, where a Fractional Chief Sales Officer (CSO) can help clarify sales strategies, making them easier to implement and more likely to succeed. Embracing simplicity not only makes our work more manageable but also leads to better outcomes for our clients. Let's make simplicity our mantra and see how it transforms our approach to business.