#with his corny bad comedy jokes

[blitzbuckz]

"What’s the worst cough a horse can get?"

"The croup!" (you get ONE. just the one joke.)

 【𐂃】 he's laying on his stomach, kicking his legs -- head propped by two clenched fists. Uttering a small, wholehearted, chuckle. It was cheesy, about horses, && it was down right twisted ! He loved a good disability horse joke.

❝ Not half bad ! y'did remarkably well, vi-vi. ❞  

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Bowen McCurdy and Jordan Morris’s “Youth Group”

NEXT SATURDAY (July 20), I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

Youth Group is Bowen McCurdy and Jordan Morris's new and delightful graphic novel from Firstsecond. It's a charming tale of 1990s ennui, cringe Sunday School – and demon hunting.

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250789235/youthgroup

Kay is a bitter, cynical teenager who's doing her best to help her mother cope with an ugly divorce that has seen her dad check out on his former family. Mom is going back to church, and she talks Kay into coming along with her to attend the church youth group.

This is set in the 1990s, and the word "cringe" hasn't yet entered our lexicon as an adjective, but boy is the youth group cringe. The pastor is a guitar-strumming bearded dad who demonstrates how down he is with the kids by singing top 40 songs rewritten with evangelical lyrics (think Weird Al meets the 700 Club). Kay gamely struggles through a session and even makes a friend or two, and agrees to keep attending in deference to her mother's pleas.

But this is no ordinary youth group. Kay's ultra-boring suburban hometown is actually infested with demons who routinely possess the townspeople, and that baseline of demonic activity has suddenly gone critical, with a new wave of possessions. Suddenly, the possessed are everywhere – even Kay's shitty dad ends up with a demon inside of him.

That's when Kay discovers that the youth group and its corny pastor are also demon hunters par excellence. Their rec-rooms sport secret cubbies filled with holy weapons, and the words of exorcism come as readily to them as any embarrassing rewritten devotional pop song. Kay's discovery of this secret world convinces her that youth group isn't so bad after all, and soon she is initiated into its mysteries, including the existence of rival demon-hunting kids from the local synagogue, Catholic church, and Wiccan coven.

As the nature of the new demonic incursion becomes clearer, it falls on Kay and her pals to overcome these sectarian divisions over the protests of their guitar-strumming, magic-wielding leader. That takes on a special urgency when Kay learns why the demons are interested in her, personally, and a handful of other kids in town who all share a secret trait.

I confess that as someone who lived through the 1990s as a young man, there is something disorienting about experiencing the decade of my young adulthood through the kind of retro lens I associate with the 1950s or 1960s. But while the experience is disorienting, it's not unpleasant. McCurdy's artwork and Morris's snappy dialog conjure up that bygone decade in a way that is simultaneously affectionate and critical, exposing the hollowness of its performative ennui and the brave face that performance represented even as the world was being swept up in corporate gigantism.

McCurdy and Morris are really onto something here, implicitly asking us why the 1990s gave us Buffy and Sabrina (and The Coven, etc etc) – what was it about that decade in which Reaganomics and globalism consolidated the gains of the 1980s, where the climate emergency took on its undeniable urgency, where media monopolies mastered the art of commodifying counterculture faster than it could mutate into new forms?

Morris's writing really shines here. If you enjoyed Bubble, his earlier outing based on the post-apocalyptic comedy podcast of the same name, you will love this one:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/21/podcasting-as-a-visual-medium/#huntr

Morris is also half of Jordan, Jesse Go!, the long-running podcast where he and Jesse Thorn do a weekly ha-ha-only-serious goofball schtick that never fails to smuggle in really clever and insightful ideas amidst the poop jokes.

https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/jordan-jesse-go/

John Hodgman calls nostalgia a "toxic impulse." Church Group deftly avoids nostalgia's trap, managing to be a period piece without falling prey to the Happy Days pathology of ignoring the many flaws and problems of its era. And of course, it's a hoot and a blast.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/16/blight/#the-dream-of-the-nineties

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

I Idk if you accept nsfw request but if you do how about fem s/o trying to top midnight/mic/miurko! Expect s/o gets much to flustered

(Hey Anon, thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy. Also unrelated but I started thinking about it and I need to write about Mirko more often)

Pro Heroes S/O Trying to Top but Gets too Flustered

(Characters Included- Midnight, Present Mic, and Mirko)

(Warning: NSFW content and swearing)

⛓️Nemuri Kayama⛓️ (Midnight)

- She would find it very amusing that you tried to dominate her but it would also turn her on greatly.

- She knows well that you get really flustered easily so she knows that soon you’ll be a flustered mess.

....

Nemuri has always been the dominant one in the relationship and you were happily the submissive one. She always patiently took care of you, spoiling you, giving everything you could ever asked for and you deeply appreciated that.

But today you wanted to try something different.

Today you were going to dominate The R-rated Hero herself.

You and Nemuri were relaxing in your shared bedroom and she decided to go to the dresser and change into her nighttime attire in front of you since you guys had already seen each other naked before. She had her back turned to you and you decided that this is the right time. You watched her as she took off her shirt and silently walked over behind her, wrapping your arms gently around her waist. One hand sliding down to rub on her sensitive areas and the other rising up to grab her tit.

Nemuri knew exactly what you were doing and decided to play along. “Oh my- ah yes touch me like that~”

You instantly froze. Mouth apart slightly from shock.

“That’s what I thought, darling.”

🎤Hizashi Yamada🎤 (Present Mic)

- At first he’ll be confused on the sudden change. He thinks it’s looks hot when you try and dominate him but he also thinks it looks hotter when you’re flustered.

- But you better be really prepared though because he WILL tease you a lot.

....

You guys were sitting on the couch watching a comedy movie as you both shared a small bowl of popcorn. Comedy movies were Hizashi’s favorite type of movie because as the name suggests they’re funny.

When he was dying laughing at a corny joke that one of the characters made, you decided to take the opportunity to dominate him when he least expects it.

Keeping your eyes on the movie, you slowly moved your hand up his thigh and to his clothed sensitive part. His laughter died down when he felt your hand and gave you a certain look.

“Oh my bad, I thought the popcorn bowl was there~” You said in a teasing tone, looking at him and you immediately got all hot and flustered at the way he looked at you right now.

“Since when did you become so bold?” He said with a playful smirk.

🐰Rumi Usagiyama🐰 (Mirko)

- Like Midnight, she would also find it really amusing that a person that gets flustered easily is trying to be the dominant one.

- That being said she still won’t let you dominate her and if you do try then you’ll get what’s coming.

....

One of Rumi’s hobbies is working out and due to her being very popular because she’s the number five hero, she gets a lot of attention whenever she’s in public. So to avoid the media interrupting her workout sessions to ask for a interview or something, she works out at home.

You loved it when she works out, you love to admire all of her (especially her muscles) and you feel so blessed to be in a actual relationship with her.

Right now Rumi was standing up lifting weights doing curls with them and you were silently watching her, you wouldn’t change nothing about this moment well that’s what you would’ve said but you did wanna try something different today.

As she was lifting the weights you came up to her, pressing your chest against her back and started to slowly feel her muscles.

She stopped what she was doing when she heard you say “You’ve been so stressed recently so how ‘bout you just sit back and let me make you feel good.”

“Appreciate the offer but it’s my job to make YOU feel good.” Rumi says dropping the weight on the floor and grabs you by the neck to pull you in for a rough kiss. Taking you by surprise, you moan into her mouth as she smirks against your lips.

Masterlist

[inaflashimagine]

lo mejor (i)

pairing: miguel o'hara x gn!reader (can be read as reader being latine)

summary: nueva york had no shortage of places that sold empanadas. unfortunately, that didn’t equate to all of them being good.

but he continued to find himself going to your restaurant, a few of the other spider-people less than convinced that it's just for your food.

a/n: as a latina who also eats empanadas to cure their hanger, i just needed to get this off my chest. will be a multi-part fic!

3k wc. no warnings for this chapter, other than a litany of english + spanish curses

masterlist | one | two

–

“I’m in hiding. He’s angry at me…again…”

As much as the kid was growing on Jess, she sent an unimpressed look at the flickering hologram. “In other news, water is wet.”

“But seriously, how can he expect me to write a report only 5 minutes after I finish a mission? He’s worse than my AP Lit teacher, and Ms. O’Connor was—”

“Gwen, I’m gonna stop you right there. Because we’ve been through this before. You know how to fix this.”

Though her face was covered by her mask, the widening of her goggles before her shoulders sagged in defeat showed Jess that Gwen knew exactly what to do.

“But can’t you come with me? What if I mess up the order?”

“Are you kidding me right now? Didn’t you want me to ‘chill with the hovering’?”

Gwen sighed, already starting to swing her way through Nueva York to get to her destination. “I know, I know, I’ll go. Do you want anything?” 

“No need, it sounds like you might have to buy the whole store to be in his good graces again. Good luck.”

Her mentor logged off before hearing her star pupil groan in frustration—what was supposed to be an effortless day was quickly becoming a pain in her ass.

Like countless times before, Gwen quickly changed into her set of ‘futuristic’ civilian clothes to blend in with the rest of the long line at the tiny, but packed, restaurant. If it weren’t for the enticing smell of freshly baked dough, Gwen wondered if this would all be worth it. She’d have to cancel the jam session with Hobie if this plan didn’t work, lest she face the wrath of the villain of the week, Miguel O’Hara.

But when she finally saw a familiar smile and a warm pair of eyes greeting her behind the counter, she realized that Jess was right—she knew how to fix this.

Or rather, you did.

“Mi gringa favorita! It’s been a while. How many empanadas does el jefe need?”

–

Miguel was having a bad day. 

It started with the usual suspect: Peter B., un pendejo who believed that Miguel and Jess actually wanted to hear about his daughter’s bowel movements.

Not to mention the impromptu comedy club Miguel had to break down so everyone could get back to doing the jobs they forgot they signed up for. (Nothing was more irritating than being surrounded by unfunny people who genuinely thought their endless quips and corny jokes landed. Every. Single. Time.)

Then for the umpteenth time, he had to tell Gwen to turn in her reports on time. Yet that was nothing compared to her latest efforts in convincing Miguel to let Miles visit HQ and gently explain (gently because, “He doesn’t know any better!”) that he’s the biggest threat to the multi-verse. These poor attempts, unsurprisingly, fell flat. O’Hara warned Jess that the girl would be a liability, and each day he grew closer to sending the kid back to Earth-65 if she decided to pull any tricks. 

But the worst part of this dreadful day was when a nervous, slightly cowering Chef Spidey told his boss there were no more empanadas. 

“What?” Miguel’s brows furrowed in confusion, indifferent to the uncomfortable silence that enveloped the cafeteria at the sound of his incredulity. “What do you mean, there’s no more empanadas? Who ate the last one?”

“He promised me not to tell you!” 

And with that, Miguel stalked to his office where he was currently sulking in, seriously considering changing Peter B.’s portal watch to a day pass as punishment for apparently eating over a half dozen empanadas.

Just as he was about to give Lyla the command, his associate in the heart sunglasses suddenly appeared. “Gwen Stacy will be here in a minute, might want to start lowering your platform.”

“Maldita sea, didn’t I tell you to not let anyone in?” He pinched the bridge of his nose—he’d much prefer for his ears to be rattled with Peter B.‘s ramblings and even Ben Reilly’s moping over Gwen’s incessant whining about how crappy the current Spider Society establishment was. (She was spending way too much time with Hobie.)

“Hey pal, that’s not a nice word, and she comes bearing gifts that you’ll like.”

“Oh really?” he remarked dryly, arms crossed as he began his descent. “She finished the ten detailed reports she owes me?”

Yet Miguel caught the heavenly smell of beef empanadas before seeing Gwen’s sheepish face. And did he also catch a whiff of chorizo and cheese?

“Hi, Miguel. Heard you haven’t had lunch yet, sooooo…” Shaking off her nerves and avoiding that terrifying gaze, she held out the two large boxes as her apology. “And I’ll submit those reports by tonight, I promise.”

An eyebrow raised, he webbed the boxes toward himself and held them even more tightly when he saw where they came from. 

His eyes glossed over the mascot of Mama’s Empanadas, a smiling and waving empanada that almost seemed to assure him that his hanger would quickly be cured. But it was the words hurriedly scribbled at the bottom that displaced the rage he’s felt all day with a weird pang in his chest:

“Buen provecho, Jefe :)”

Miguel quickly turned away, hoping he seemed more composed than he actually felt. As the floor to his office slowly began to ascend, he said, “I’ll give you one more day to finish those reports. But don’t think it’s because this bribe worked.”

“Of course.” Gwen hoped the amusement wasn’t clear in her voice, smirking at the shoulders of the tall man lose their tension as he began eating the ‘bribe’. Would Hobie even believe her if she told him what just happened? 

“Thanks, Miguel. See you tomorrow!”

He didn’t even register her last words, eyes closed as he savored the explosive taste of smoked chorizo and finally allowed fond memories to flood his brain.

— 

Nueva York had no shortage of places that sold empanadas. Unfortunately, that didn’t equate to all of them being good.

It’s not that he didn’t know how to make them–he’s sure that he could follow his abuela’s recipes that his ma once gave him–but he just didn’t have time. After all, nothing was more convenient than cashing in the perks of the suit to cut a long line and grab free food. But once Lyla finished the goober she was working on (“It’s not a goober, Miguel, it’s a gizmo!”), he’d have even less time to do anything other than jump into different dimensions, some of which would certainly not sell empanadas.

This explained why after changing into sweats following a grueling shift, he found himself staring across the busy street at Mama’s Empanadas, the hunger in his growling stomach overwhelming. The small restaurant was engulfed by flashing neon lights and signs boasting the quality of their food in both Spanish and English. The place was always swarming with people whenever he swung by, but as closing time approached only a few stragglers remained. 

And so did you.

Miguel hoped that you were the owner of the shop rather than an overworked employee, considering that he couldn’t remember the last time someone else took your position behind the counter. But even from this distance, he could see your cheery smile while you welcomed new patrons and the regulars, almost as if you were genuinely happy to be serving them on a late Friday night. 

With all the running around he’s been doing lately, he couldn’t even remember the last time taking on the Spider-Man mantle gave him the same joy he spotted on your face miles away.

O’Hara felt his phone vibrate as he saw the latest message from Lyla illuminating his screen.

“Got some news to share! Might want to deliver the bad stuff in person though.”

“Que chingada,” Miguel cursed, rubbing tired eyes as he contemplated whether to reply. How could the news get even worse after Earth-1610 lost Peter Parker, their only Spider-Man?

Raising his head, he watched you approach the storefront to activate the electrified gates that would close the shop. 

And for reasons his brain would never be able to explain, he felt himself panic, almost as if his body jolted awake as he deftly weaved through honking cars and found himself in front of you, the only barrier being a pesky glass door that would take a millisecond for him to break.

Yet he was surprised to see you hold your ground, and even more shocked to see you flash him an annoyed look he’s never seen you give to any other customer. Shoulders tense, he was ready for you to begin berating him for being a nuisance and to leave the fuck off the premises. 

“Eres un idiota? ¡Casi te atropellan!”

Miguel blinked, not sure he heard you correctly. Sure, calling him an idiot is warranted, but he was not almost run over by those cars. Even if he did get hit–which, again, he wouldn’t–then the car would be hurt, not him. 

Instead of explaining himself without implicating his alter persona, or at the very least say something remotely coherent in English or Spanish, Miguel found himself even more gobsmacked when you opened the door and ushered him inside, frantically asking him questions in a random jumble of Spanglish as you tried inspecting a man seemingly twice your size for any injuries.

“¿No hablas español? Should I call 911, mierda, is this guy catatonic? Should I have moved him? Are you hurt?”

Feeling your hands shake his shoulders finally snapped him out of whatever funk he was in, confusion washing over him as he tried to piece together what just happened in the past minute. Heeding your obvious concern, he sighed and did his best to ignore the absolutely embarrassing predicament he put himself in.

“Estoy bien,” he assured you, his relief matching yours as you let go and immediately exhaled. “I really am fine, I just wanted to try the empanadas before closing.”

There was that exasperation again, your deadly expression sufficient in asking him ‘Are you serious?’ that your high-pitched words of “En serio?” were quite unnecessary, in his opinion.

“Was running across a congested street not serious enough?”

You scoffed before glaring at him for a few more seconds, though he could see the uncertain shift in your eyes. “This isn’t some twisted joke to rob me, right? Last thing I need is having Spider-Man beating you up and breaking my new glass counter.”

Miguel couldn’t hide the wry twist of his lips, fully aware that he could be thrown out at any minute but still curious to hear your opinion. “Not a Spider-Man fan?”

“As long as he doesn’t destroy my property, I wouldn’t even mind defending the dude on J. Jonah Jameson’s stupid podcast.“ You shrugged casually, already beginning to make your way behind the counter after deeming Miguel to be harmless, despite looking like he could crush you with his pinky. 

He didn’t know how to respond, still perplexed about why you hadn't kicked him out yet. 

He soon brushed those thoughts to the side when his mouth watered upon seeing you point at the remaining golden-brown pastries. “Well, these will be on the house, since you almost died in front of my restaurant. We only have 3 chicken left, 2 guava and cheese, and 1 chorizo with potato.”

Miguel felt his phone vibrate again–no doubt it was Lyla. 

And for the first time in a long time, he turned off his phone, not even bothering to view the message as he chose to look at you instead.

“I’ll take them all.”

–

When you first decided to take over your family’s restaurant, your tía taught you how to handle rude customers while also giving you advice on how to treat the nice ones so they always returned.

However, there was nothing in her playbook on how to treat the weird customers.

And Miguel O’Hara was the weirdest by far.

You took a light sip of your café con leche as you stole a glance at him starting his second empanada, the sight of such a quiet, large man sitting in a tiny seat and restraining his urge to inhale the food in one go quite comical. Much like how he ate the first one, he attempted to seem unaffected by the taste of the meaty filling. 

But after doing this for so many years, no one could ever hide their reaction from you. Especially the pure happiness one got from eating a toasty, savory empanada. 

And seeing the dark red-brown eyes of the intimidating man briefly widening and softening in amazement only made you want to find more ways to recapture that fleeting moment. To lengthen it and bask in its warmth, even if that meant countless hours of mincing, seasoning, kneading, and baking. 

“¿Entonces? The only thing you’ve said these past five minutes is your name. ¿Que dice el juez?” you teased, leaning back and smugly folding your arms as you already knew what his verdict would be. 

It was a choice you instantly regretted, almost falling out of your chair as he stopped looking at his half-finished empanada and focused all of his attention on you, a gaze so intense you briefly pondered if you left the oven on with the sudden swell of heat suffocating you.

He pursed his lips and rolled those impossibly broad shoulders, yet another action that made the room feel uncomfortably stuffy for no good reason. “It’s one of the best empanadas I’ve ever had in my life.”

Now it was your turn to be surprised, expecting to hear a ‘good’ or maybe even a ‘great’, but not the highest of praises. 

A pregnant pause ensued before a hearty laugh escaped you.

It was impossible to suspend your disbelief–all of this coming from one of the hottest guys you’ve ever seen enter this shop? Only when pigs fly, or as your abuela preferred to say, “Solo cuando los cerdos vuelan.”

“¡Mentiroso! Lo dices como si fuera la última Coca-Cola en el desierto.”

He had to know that his half-glare really was just him smoldering. There was no way this man was oblivious to the effects of that gaze. 

“I don’t think I’m a liar or particularly funny. Though I actually would appreciate a Coca, si la tienes.”

You desperately hoped that your immediate sigh sounded one stemming from annoyance rather than relief–having an excuse to get up and look for a can of soda rather than the brooding dude a mere foot away from you was the only way you’d stay sane through this strange night.

“I do appreciate the kind words,” you said after recollecting your composure, the cool air blasting from the fridge reminding you to retain at least some semblance of professionalism, “but these aren’t even the freshest batch. No way they’re the best you’ve had.”

Miguel raised an eyebrow as you handed him the can. “I didn’t say the best. And you don’t have any with a glass bottle?”

You rolled your eyes before plopping back into your seat. “If I did, I would’ve hit you in the head with it quite a while ago. And especially now, after your challenge.”

“It’s not meant to be taken as a challenge–”

“Ah, but I’ll take it as one because my family’s reputation is riding on this. Or else mi abuela, que en paz descanse”–you pointed to the framed picture of the sweet, old lady right above the cash register–“lanzará sus chanclas poderosas, and I don’t want to get hit by those, they’re stronger than that car that was about to run you over.”

The roll of his eyes was obnoxiously overt, but you barely caught a glimpse of the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth, masterfully hidden by taking a sip of his coke. 

“How would this so-called challenge even work?”

“You’re asking the wrong question because that’s an easy answer. The next time you come, I’ll bake you a fresh batch of your favorite empanadas, no matter what kind and even if you come 5 minutes before closing.” Listing the types with each finger, it’s hard to contain your excitement. “Baked, fried, sweet, savory, you name it.”

“¿Y si no me gustan?”

“¡No seas tonto! Yet another dumb question, because you’ll not only like them, you’ll fucking love them. The right question is whether you’d think they’re the best.”

You swore he inched closer, the once faint smell of sandalwood from his cologne now overpowering your already-fried senses. “And what if they’re not the best?”

“I’ll get two more attempts afterward. If they still don’t meet your palate’s expectations, which honestly isn’t a worry of mine, then you’ll get free empanadas for the year.” It’s said without hesitation, with confidence you have no idea how you mustered all of a sudden. 

Out of all moments to be driven by pride, you choose to do so while tightrope walking on a straight razor.

And you wondered if Miguel read your mind because, for the first time, you heard his laugh. It’s a sardonic one, but its deep timbre was as attractive as his face and meshed well with his incredibly dry sense of humor.

Maybe the walk wouldn’t be as bad as you imagined.

“You’re either extremely arrogant in thinking you’ll win, or too trustful in people to believe they wouldn’t scam you with this deal.”

“But you’re not just some normal person,” you reply simply, amused to see his shoulders slightly stiffened, “and I believe you when you said you’re not a liar. Call it a gut feeling.”

“What do you even get out of this?” he asked, puzzled at how you just weren’t setting yourself up for failure. He didn’t need Lyla for him to visualize the thousands of ways you could lose.   

Your wolfish grin showed a lot more than your words. “Nothing, other than making my family proud. Anddd perhaps receiving a five-star review on Yelp wouldn’t hurt either.”

Running a hand through his hair, he shrugged before lifting his soda can toward you. “That’s the least I could do. But don’t think I’ll make this easy for you.” 

You gently clinked his can with your cup of coffee as your eyes locked with his, wondering what the hell you just got yourself into.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

–

translations (please lmk if you need more):

Mi gringa favorita - my favorite white girl

El jefe - the boss

Un pendejo - a dumbass

Maldita sea - goddamn it

Buen provecho, Jefe - Enjoy your meal, boss

Que chingada - what bullshit/wtf

Eres un idiota? ¡Casi te atropellan! - Are you an idiot? They almost ran you over!

No hablas espanol? - You don't speak Spanish

Estoy bien - I'm fine

Que dice el juez - What does the judge say?

¡Mentiroso! Lo dices como si fuera la última Coca-Cola en el desierto - Liar! You say it as if it was the last coca-cola in the desert

Una coca - A Coca Cola

Si la tienes - If you have it

Que en paza descanse - may she rip

Lanzarla las chanclas poderosas - she'll release her powerful flip-flops

Y si no me gustan? - And if I don't like it?

No seas tonto - Don't be silly/dumb

[yelenasdiary]

Don't Chicken Out

Pairing: Kate Bishop X Fem! Reader.

Summary: Kate gets upset thinking you’ve started dating somebody. 

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, 

Type: Fluff & Angst

AC: This is a request from my old

“Pizza is here!” Kate excitingly jumped up from the sofa and ran to the door, “I’ll get the beer!” I said as I walked to the fridge. I grabbed two bottles and opened them, “What are we watching tonight?” I asked Kate as I made my way back to the living room. Kate and I have been friends since she joined the Avengers and I loved having another person to hang out with who was close in age. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with the others but something about Kate makes her my favourite. 

“Whatever you want?” she replied, placing two slices of pizza on a small place for herself. I handed her a bottle of beer as I sat down next to her. “Uhm…what about Blended?” I suggested. “That one about Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore going to a resort?” she asked. I nodded, “yeah, it’s pretty funny!” I added. “Let’s do it!” she smiled. 

It was normal for Kate to cuddle up against me while we watched movies, it was in her personality. She was bubbly and sometimes annoying but in a good way, you feel? 

“These love movies are so corny, but I love them” Kate spoke as I gently played with her hair. “Look how sweet he looks at her” she added. “I guess so” I replied. I wasn’t too big on the romance side of the movie; I just enjoyed the comedy of it. 

“I guess so? You don’t want somebody to look at you like that?” she sat up. I looked at her, confused, “I mean, sure?” I shrugged as she raised an eyebrow, “What? I like comedy, I don’t really look at the romance” I added. “Have you ever seen titanic?!” she asked.

“No no no!! You have a mission we have to train for tomorrow, we are not watching a 3 hour movie tonight” I shook my head. “Fine… party pooper!!” she groaned as she returned to her original position. “How long will you be gone for this time?” I asked, returning to play with her hair. “However long Clint needs me for I’d say” she replied. 

After the movie, we cleaned up the living room before Kate walked me to my room. “6am tomorrow morning Kate, be ready!” you said to her as she walked down the hall to her room. “7!” she called back, “6!!” I shook my head to myself before closing my bedroom door. 

The next morning I help Kate train before she left with Clint for her mission. “So clint, how long you taking my best friend for this time” I joked. “Looking like a 2-3 month job kid. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine” he replied. “Oh, it’s not her I’m worried about old man” I joked as he rolled his eyes. 

“We’re watching Titanic when I’m back, you know that right” Kate spoke to me as she entered the conference room. “Really? Do I have too?” I groaned. “Yes!” she smiled. I rolled my eyes playfully at her and then hugged her tightly, “be safe okay” I said softly to her. “Always” she replied, hugging me a little tighter this time. I watched as her and Clint walked out the room. 

Kates POV:

“Let’s go home kid!” Clint spoke as we entered the jet. Finally, the mission is over, I’m tired and score from combat but so ready to make Y/n watch movies with me again and relax. “How’s those feelings for Y/n going?” Clint asked, catching me off guard. “Sorry..what? I don’t.. no…she’s my best friend” I stuttered. Clint chuckled to himself. 

“What?? I don’t. We are just good friends, plus I don’t even think she likes me if I did..like her… and im not saying I do because I don’t.. I mean I do but not like that” 

“Oh boy, you’ve got it bad kid!” Clint looked at me. “Shut up!” I spoke at my defeat. 

“Why don’t you just tell her? Save her from watching Titanic” he laughed.

“I think she’s seeing somebody else…”

“What makes you say that?”

“Her Instagram account…”

“Oh god, Social media is going to fry your brain kid. If she is seeing somebody, she’ll tell you but don’t just assume” 

“I’m not assuming but she did comment the word babe on this woman’s photo” 

Clint rolled his eyes and didn’t reply. 

Once we got back to the compound I went to my room and had a shower before I walked to the living room where I saw Y/n sitting on the sofa, texting. “Hey” I smiled, she looked up from her phone for not even a second, “hey you’re back!” she said, still typing. 

“Yeah…” I sighed. Her attention still glued to the phone in front of her. “So… uhm, do you wanna watch a movie or play a card game or something?” I asked. 

“Yeah sure, whatever you want” she spoke, still glued to her phone. I rolled my eyes in frustration, “actually, I’m kinda tired so I might just go lay down” I explained. “Okay, we’ll do a movie later then” she spoke without looking at me. 

I turned and walked to my room, pashing clint on my way. “Woah, are you okay?” he asked, stopping me in my tracks. “Told you she was seeing somebody” I sighed and continued to my bedroom. 

*2 week time jump*

Y/n’s POV:

“Clint, what happened on your mission a few weeks back with Kate?” I asked him as he sat reading the newspaper. “What do you mean? It went well” he looked up at me. “Well… Kate, she hasn’t been the same since she came back. She’s basically been ignoring me for like 2 weeks. All I get from her is grunts and mumbles” I explained, taking the seat across from him in the kitchen. 

“Ahh, right. Maybe you should talk to her about this” he spoke.

“Did you not just hear me? She won’t talk to me”

“You’re a smart kid, you’ll get through to her. Go talk to her, listen to her mumbles, maybe that’ll tell you something” he explained. With a sigh, I got up from the table and made my way to Kate’s room. 

I knocked gently and waited for her to open the door. 

“Go away, I have a headache” her voice travelled from the inside. 

“Kate…it’s me, please open the door” I spoke. I heard her grunt before the door opened. “What do you want?” she asked. 

“To talk…are you okay?” 

“I’m fine”

“Kate, you’ve been ignoring me for like 2 weeks, you don’t seem fine” 

“I’m not ignoring you, I just want some space”

“Kate. I know something’s wrong… please talk to me, I’m here for you”

“Fine… come in” she sighed as she opened the door for me. I walked in as she closed the door behind me and flopped herself back on her bed. “Did I do something to upset you?” I asked. 

“No.. I mean…not really”

“Not really?” 

Kate sat up and looked at me. “When I came back you basically ignored me, you were too busy texting your new girlfriend and couldn’t even look at me and it just bothered me because…bec- it just bothered me.” She explained. 

“Because why?” I slowly sat down next to her and took her hands into mine, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles gently. “Because I like you…I really like you. I like you the same way I like when you play with my hair and I like you the same way I like pizza on a Friday night and I know you’re seeing somebody so I’m sorry for dumping this on you but-“

“Kate… I’m not seeing anybody” you cut her off.

“You’re not?” she looked up at me with a soft smile, I shook my head softly, “I already like somebody else” you told her. Her smile dropped, “oh” slipped form her lips. “You” I said softly. She looked back at me with her big brown eyes. “You don’t think I notice how you look at me?” I added causing her to smile. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting….I wasn’t sure how to tell you and whenever I tried I just got overwhelmed and chickened” she chattered. 

“You fight all these bad dudes and stuff but you couldn’t tell me you liked me? That’s cute” I smiled at her. “When you put it like that…I sound weak almost” she chuckled. “Are you going to chicken out or kiss me already?” I asked. Kate looked at me for a moment then to my lips, slowly she leant in closer. “Nope, I’m going to chicken out” she laughed. “Oh, come here” I cupped her face and kissed her tenderly. 

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @kiwiana145  | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok |  @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145  | @valiantmugcowboyscissors | @observeowl | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @musicinourlips | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @blue-serendipityy | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | @xox-little-troublemaker-xox | 

[citruscitrushope]

Okay

1. Do you think his hair is straight or curly?

2. Ruikasa headcanons

3. Tenma sibling headcanons

That's all I can think of rn but I'll come back with more if I think of anything else.

1. Curly, he straightens it because he thinks he looks silly but Rui and Saki insist that he looks cute with his natural hair.

2. ♡ Both of them are horrible at taking care of themselves, but they will forever nag the other for also being bad with it ("Tsukasa-kun, it's really late, you should go to bed." "Nonsense, when I tell you the same thing you ignore me!")

♡ Tsukasa clothing thief 2023, none of Rui's jackets or hoodies are immune.

♡ Tsukasa unconsciously is very affectionate, hugging Rui and holding his hand without even realizing it, but when he tries to make a move on purpose he freezes, which Rui finds very cute. Not that used to affection, struggles a bit with saying he wants it, but Rui's getting quite good at figuring it out.

♡ Rui isn't usually flustered, but sometimes Tsukasa very much has that effect on him, very easily gets him to blush. The most publicly affectionate of the two, though Tsukasa is more likely to be in private.

♡ Once they get older and start living together, Rui makes Tsukasa a teddy bear for if they ever have to be separated, if he hugs it Rui's voice says that he loves him. Tsukasa may or may not have started happy sobbing when he first saw it, and may or may not have tried to figure out how to do something similar for him.

3. ☆ Saki often practices hair and makeup techniques on Tsukasa, and he is very happy to help his darling sister! (It may or may not have contributed to what I like to call The Great Tsukasa Gender Crisis that he eventually has-)

☆ Sometimes they have little sleepovers together in one of their bedrooms, just like when they were little kids, inviting Toya over if they can as well.

☆ He can and will spoil Toya and Saki rotten, they cannot escape it, if they want it and he hears about it they Will get it.

☆ The littlest gifts or gestures from his siblings can send him into happy tears, he loves them so much it's unbelievable-

☆ Very much dad jokes, Saki finds them corny but Toya thinks they're the pinnacle of comedy.

[boxwinebaddie]

Have the CD guys ever read fanfic about themselves?

OH MY GODDSKLHDHLS

YES!!! yES, THEY HAVE!!!

THEY'VE READ TOO MUCH, TBH.

no, because back in the good ole days when the boys were still The Boys and darling scotty had not made his evil fuckboy transformation into Thot, they did a very silly segment on MTV that was sponsored by red bull, who, in my fake ncuniverse, collabed with grey goose,

and released these very crazy 4loko-esqe red/gray alcoholic energy drinks that the CD boys were taste-testing ( yes, they were Gone ) while they dramatically read and re-enacted the most vile, viral sex scenes written about them in aO3 fanfictions. it was...So Good.

( boxwinebaddie DEF made the cut, jsyk. xx )

but anyways, for con-sext, The Boys took turns reading...

kenny carried the whole thing on their back tbh ( all while wearing the skeleken facemask, might i add, which required them to suck their drink through a swirly straw...a lot of sucking jokes were made...smh )

scott, i think, had to pause every five seconds to laugh and when he wasn't, his med-student brain was looking too far into the logistics of all the sex positions and the motivations behind them...love him.

jimmy's performance was phenomenal, obviously, ( comedic legend ) but all the stuttering and slurring required subtitles, i fear. whaaack.

but, uh...speaking of Reading...and being Whack.

i just want to start out by saying...

Ravenstan...I Love You.

God Bless You, Baby.

you really....tried your Very Best.

however...

...that man CANNOT read.

HEEEELPSSK

OOOOOOOOOF. IT WAS /SO/ FUNNY, YOU GUYS.

i need a ten minute super-cut of raven of crimson dawn trying to read because it is SOOOO Unserious. his dyslexia is soooo bad. RIP </3

however, i must say that i admire the confidence in which he very loudly and proudly read out words, smiled very cutely at the camera,

and pRONOUNCED THEM DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

it was god tier comedy, i am not even joking, the boys regularly skipped turns so stan had to read more often...it was that funny, fml.

he would try to read something, sound it out, squint, tilt his head to the right like a small, confused dog and go:

"'his...Personal dick?' but that...doesn't even make SENSE??? pero like, Clearly it's Jimmy's Personal Dick and not someone elses?? so i don't know why xXdrummers-bang-harder-69Xx even Wrote that." :/

please note: scott and jimmy LITERALLY ABOUT TO START CRYING whilst kenny takes a v large slurp of their drink, also trying v hard not to cry like "rae, baby, i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this..."

*literally holds stan's hand.*

"it's not Personally...

...it's *Pulsating*.

'His /PULSATING/ Dick.'"

which i think they figured would’ve cleared that up, but, not enough, i guess bc ravenstan, squinting Again, said

"the stuff.....in orange juice?"

HEEEEELPPPPPP

NOOOOO SKLHSDSKD bABY THAT IS /PULP/.

ft. jimmy shouting "AYOOOOOO! can we get some fanfictions with smaller w-w-words in them? because raven can't r-r-read."

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!!! BOOOO!!! LAME!!! CORNY!!!

Justice For My Sexy Dyslexy KING!!!! >:O

listen!!! he is Very Nice and Very Pretty, therefore, he does not NEED to know how to Read, okay?!!! he has Other People to read for him, namely, his super smart mega fine Law Student Boyfriend who rEADS TO HIM EVERY NIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! he Won!!!

he did also say 'okay, FUCK YOU GUYS!' and scott legitimately waved the list and (th)said "i think you actually do that in thith next one."

WHICH????? the only thing funnier than stan trying to read on camera, is when they have to read any fic where ravenstan whips out...

…hIS THICK MASSIVE TEN INCH SCHLONG.

when i tell you they were SCREAMING!!!! ohMyGOD.

that was sO FKN FUNNY to them, they were like OH MY GOD, RAVEN PUT THAT THING AWAAAAAAAY!!! ITS TOO LARGE WERE SCARED SKDJSLD dead, actually sooo dead...like their audience did not understand the context of that, but it was SOOOO unserious.

i swear the cd boys fave inside joke is to make an insane amount of out of pocket raven dick jokes in interviews, like i shit you not, they’re like "hi, sorry we're late! raven turned around too fast coming out of the shower, accidentally slapped us in the face with his HUGE DICK and knocked us out cold." SKHDD it happens so often ppl are literally Frothing At The Mouth trying to SEE IT.

smmHHHH.

like, besties...

I'm Gonna Hold Your Hand While I Say This.

HKDSKDSKDKHSDhLKSHDLDSK

Live, Laugh, Love My Boys. <3

-uncle nina, proud mother of four

( or, uh, Three ig )

[katapotato55]

psychonauts theory/analysis/headcannon: an analogy on neurodivergence?

spoilers for psychonauts, the rhombus of ruin and maybe psychonauts 2 these games are amazing please play at least the first game. the first game is only like 10 USD on steam and it is often on sale for waaay less. it is a very good underrated game. also TW: mentions of childhood abuse and personal experiences. you have been warned.

I will mostly talk about the first game. Yes i am aware i am probably overthinking it. I think we all know the first game isn't the most accurate to mental illnesses. The original game came out 18 years ago and was meant to be a dark comedy game rather than a sensitive depiction of mental health. I am not going to go into that aspect because time have changed since it released and I think it is redundant, but if you want my opinion I thought most of the jokes were hilarious. the first game wasn't meant to be a good depiction, so i take it for what it is and laugh along with it. I think the fact I relate to some of the characters makes it funnier personally.

but no, today I want to bring up a head cannon/theory thing: being a psychonaut is a metaphor for being nerodivergent. bear with me, here is my reasoning.

1- Raz's opening speech in the first game. "you were born with a special gift, but the people around you treat it like a curse. your mother is afraid of you, and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes" "back home your powers make you a loner, an outcast, a circus freak, but in this dojo, in this psychic dojo, they make you a hero." no explanation needed, this speech touched me in a way even if it is a bit corny. This bit here establishes that being psychic is still very taboo in this universe, as if being psychic is seen as something wrong with you rather than just an aspect you were born with. In this point in the games timeline, being psychic is slowly becoming less taboo and more of a valuable asset to society.

2- Raz's family a little bit ago i made a list about how much i hated the interns from the second game and how Agent Forsythe's actions against Raz felt a tad forced. I do not feel the same way about Raz's family. why ? well for one Raz has known them his whole life, and that "psychics are bad" came from SOMEWHERE. It is also implied that a lot of the biggotry came from his mother more than his father oddly enough. i am about to say something that is not for the faint of heart. please be advised. are you ready ? Are you sure you are ready ? meat circus. OK good now take a minute to calm down from your traumatic flashback from reading those words and then continue. The end level of the first game depicted Raz's struggle with his father. Raz was constantly under the impression that he was hated because of how his parents talked about being psychic. then Raz's father told him what he REALLY felt about his son and what was really happening. this hit me hard. some nerodivergent disorders are genetic, like in my case ADHD. and when a genetic disability exists and the family does not know they have it, then often times it is harder to get help due to prejustice. it is the "oh we are normal! i acted just like you when i was your age!" mentality. my whole life i have been told that "you are not [slur for disabled that starts with R]! you just need to get better at school! stop being lazy!", and then later i would learn one of my parents was just like me and hid it for their own safety. i can totally see "fortune teller" as a kind of slur for psychics truth be told. imagine being told as a child you are not a "fortune teller" and that "fortune tellers" are bad, and you being told that makes you feel like something is wrong with you. You feel like no one in your family loves you. It could be that Raz's father hid his psychic abilities from Raz's mother so he wouldent be scrutinized, while also hurting about what happened to his family in the past. It was the "fortune tellers" fault he was like this, so how could he love himself for being one? A headcannon I have was that Raz's mother already had pretty problematic thoughts about psychics, so when Raz's father discovered he was psychic he hid it away due to how it hurt his family and how they could react. It is established that psychics can find out they are psychics way later in life, such as mila's memory of the orphanage burning down and her suddenly being able to hear the voices of the dying children. This is somewhat accurate to adult diagnosis in my opinion.

3- Whispering rock could possibly be a special needs camp note: there is a difference between programs that teach you how to cope with your disability, and programs that basically abuse kids. Fuck autism speaks, fuck ABA programs, and a big fat special middle finger to Judge Rotenberg Educational Centre (don't google it unless you want to be angry). this bit here is a little obvious, but i thought i should point out that in the end of psy 2, agent forsythe mentioned teaching raz's family how to use their abilities safely. as I mentioned, some people find out they are psychic later in life, which is pretty common with nerodivergent disorders. It could be that whispering rock is a way to teach kids how to cope early in life so they don't struggle with it worse later on. this one is a bit of a stretch i will admit, but i got something way stronger next up:

4- Dr Loboto Dr loboto came from an emotionally neglectful home. His parents would remove toys from him and he would use his psychic abilities consistently to act out. this is normal for an emotionally neglected kid. his parents did not want a child, they wanted a perfect "doll" to do as they wanted. they loved the idea of a perfect ideal family and not actually having a child. and so they lobotomized him. Lobotomization was very common in the 50s. It was seen as a cure-all for all mental issues. housewife acting out? being her in to get snipped. child acting out? ice pick procedure. 9 times out of 10 it would end up making existing issues worse, or cause said patient to turn into a vegetable, or even death. If you want a famous case, see president JFK's sister. This hits me hard personally in multiple ways. I can see this as being a reflection of how people would "cure" their autistic kids by getting them lobotomized, or how in the modern day we still try to "cure" kids by abusing them and hurting them. Sometimes it wasn't even nerodivergent kids, just acting out is enough for people to do this! One of the reasons why i was diagnosed as an adult was the fear of doctors and teachers wanting to dope kids up to keep them quiet, god forbid an 8 year old is a little energetic, adhd or not. dr loboto is a traumatized broken man that was forcibly given brain damage because his parents loved the idea of a child rather than the child they made. I am lowkey kinda proud that he became a dentist to spite his father.

overall, i have heard people mention that psychonauts is a metaphor for being LGBT. I can see it, but honestly i feel as though the metaphor for nerodivergence is more strong. truth be told: we have a very similar history of bigotry, gaslighting, and abuse. we are siblings you and I, and our brotherhood will last generations. We are brothers and sisters and neithers in our pain. anyways that is my theory, let me know what yall think! I know i can come off as a little aggro but i genuinely would love to hear your thoughts!

[howtotrainyouragents]

Agent H’s TV Reactions

Spy x Family Season 1 

A spy is tasked with creating a fake family to infiltrate the enemy country, only to unwittingly marry an assassin and adopt a child telepath

-MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FAKE FAMILY

-I love that this a story about survivors of war. About how they fight for peace. About how they heal through love and relationships with each other. I love that it’s an action story, a drama, a comedy, a slice of life

-You can tell that this is an anime that really loves the story and source material. It is truly done with such love and care and attention to detail 

-I really wish that the opening/closing scenes were canon/shown because I want to see them going on vacations and dance around their home TT. I also want that scene of Loid at the train looking up at Yor on the balcony. I also love the scene in the second opening scene of Yor hugging Anya by the window

-The teacups theme song is my new comfort song

-I have such a crush on Loid. The tousled “at home” hair will be the death of me. 

-HE’S SUCH A DAD. Have him make a corny dad jokes and HE’S THERE

-I love that Loid’s complaint of Anya is that she’s unpredictable. Like, yes, the best spy in the world, the man who can predict and prepare for any situation in the world, is having his ass handed to him by a four year old

-Meanwhile it take Anya about 48 hours to learn that no matter how cool your parents are, all parents are lame

-I know it was for the interview, but I think Loid genuinely meant it when he said he found a kindred spirit in Yor. The moment at the party I think is when Yor starts to fall for him, but also when Loid recognizes that they are alot alike, that she “may be the only person who can accept him for who he is right now.”

-Also, Loid absolutely fell in love with Yor when she first knocked out that bad guy

-Yor being the emotional support and rock of the family. The way she supports and cares for Anya and plays with her and gives her advice (however helpful it is XD). And the way that she supports Loid, breaking him out of his anxiety. Like in the restaurant in the third episode, he’s totally spiraling about the interview, and she doesn’t know what’s going on in his head, but she knows to take them to the park for fresh air and perspective and it’s just what he needed

-The scene of Loid and Yor comforting each other as parents is one of the most foundational scenes of the story

-I saw some people a while back being like “Twilight is going to get too soft and eventually do something emotionally and jeopardize Operation Strix” You mean, the interview???

-Anya punching Damian is one of the greatest scenes of all time

-The dodgeball episode is one of the greatest episodes ever made XD

-The penguin park episode may be my favorite. Whole family working together without knowing what the others are doing. Yor kicking a guy into the ceiling. Loid winning the penguin for his girl. Loid wanting a vacation then STOPPING and deciding to just work harder because he loves his girls so much

-BOND IS THE BEST BOY

-My heart broke with Sylvia’s simple “I had a daughter once like her.” 

-The Loid reflection while they’re at the dog park broke me

-Loid being proud of his daughter jumping two boxes and jumping rope five times

-In any other show Nightfall would be the most iconic, fan-favorite character ever made, and (we love her too!) the only reason she’s not here is because she’s competing with the fucking Forgers

-Yes, Loid, you should switch to decaf

-I love the episode of Yuri tutoring Anya because for how intense Yuri is about work and his sister, he really is just a 20 year old kid. And I just love seeing this big kid get so exasperated with this little kid, and I hope they get more bonding in the future lol

-Shinybluebirdwizard pointed it out that Becky Blackbell is pretty much the only character remotely living as her authentic self and that is fucking hilarious

-Damian always being ready to fight when it comes to Anya

-I would be very curious to learn about Japan’s role and viewpoint in the Cold War because it’s interesting how this is Cold War Germany inspired 

-I had a separate post about the tennis arc. Let's see if I ever write it up...

-Loid going out of his way to reassure and support Yor just because he wants her to be happy. I am ride or die for this couple

-Loid ep 6: Yor is sad, I should reassure her!

Loid ep 15: Yor is sad, I should take her out on a date!

Loid ep 24: Yor is sad, I should take her on a date and ask her to marry me! Like, bud, the reaction does not equal the situation. With all of Loid overthinking I’m genuinely trying to understand how he thought honey-trapping Yor would be beneficial for the musssion. Like I know why he does it but Loid, what was your reasoning there

-The last episode was so good!! The hat tip mirroring the first episode. The importance of love and care and communication and trying to be there for each other. The final words summarizes the whole story, and the teacups song playing through Loid's words. Anya’s at bliss even when he has no idea what’s going on in her head: They don't understand each other but they love each other and want to do their best for each other. That's it. That's the whole story.

-Extremely important question: Is Loid licensed to be working as a psychiatrist. Because on one hand, obviously it’s just a cover story. On the other hand, Loid has never half assed anything in his life and cramming years of worth of medical school and passing a licensing exam just to make his story airtight is exactly the kind of thing he would do. Endo, respectfully are you listening. Endo, please, I need to know this

[hypmicdaydreams]

hihi could i please request Sasara with "in the kitchen" and "missing the other" from the kissing prompt list? maybe him just randomly kissing s/o just because he missed being in their presence from doing too many shows? thx very muchu✨

This is legitimately the cutest thing anon. It healed my soul so tyvm for the request! I feel like this is a perfect prompt for him lol so I hope I was able to do our favorite clown justice! Please enjoy 🧡

kissing prompts: in the kitchen bc of missing the other

-pairing: sasara nurude x gn!reader

-genre: fluff

-word count: ~950 words

“god,” you snort, laughing contagiously so. your boyfriend had just made yet another terrible, no good joke, again. honestly, you should be used to it by now, that and sasara’s antics, but you’re still doubled down over laughing, completely neglecting the meal on the stove (that was showing beginning signs of burning). it wasn’t even that clever of one! but sasara had his ways. no wonder he was a famous comedian. “that was such a bad joke.”

yet, your words bring a smile to his lips, and sasara can feel the warmth spread all over his cheeks. oh.. he smiles, all wide and bright. this was a much better feeling than having the audience laugh at his jokes during his usual shows. actually, it wasn’t anything like this, didn’t feel remotely alike — having you laugh at him. his heart jumps a beat, and the fluttery feeling gets to him and his head, all lightheaded in the best possible way; this was his absolute favorite feeling in the world.

as much as sasara loved his usual audience, he still couldn’t help but favor you. it wasn’t good for a comedian to pick favorites, but he did so anyway. or well, his heart did, at least.

“aw c’mon, that one was funny!” sasara laughs, more so in response to you. again, yours was absolutely contagious, his favorite sound ever. “see! even you laughed!”

“only because it was so bad.”

god, sasara had missed this, he smiles: you laughing at his corny jokes, and sasara getting in your way as you tried to make lunch in that tiny kitchen. he was too big and kept bumping into you, you’d often scold; but he couldn’t help it! after not seeing you for so long, sasara couldn’t help but always be around you, perhaps a bit much.

really, he hadn’t realized how homesick he was feeling until now, despite well, being at home. sasara adored his comedy shows and routines, truly! but this was just oh so much better. he hadn’t spent quality time with you in so long, always having to get up early before you to go to the studio then coming back late, by the time you were already asleep. sure he was coming back home each day, but he also wasn’t. you were his home after all.

sasara had missed you, sorely so.

there’s a content look to him as sasara watches you. it’s been too long, he thinks. and his gaze inadvertently lands on your lips as well. well, he quirks his brows; it’s also been too long since sasara has given you a kiss, he realizes. and before long, the want to do so overcomes him. gosh, has he been this touch starved the entire time? it even takes sasara himself by surprise, especially since he believed himself to be totally fine.

i mean, it was entirely true that he didn't like not spending much time with you. his work had entirely taken him away from you, and it wasn't entirely convenient for sasara to come home by the time you were already fast asleep on the couch, having waited for him again today as well. but he totally thought he was, at the very least, fine. it was just for now after all, after this bout of shows ended. but well, sasara was much more homesick than he thought.

so he goes in for the kill: a kiss on the lips.

you guys are already too close together given the small space of the kitchen, after all, so it was perfect. he takes full advantage of it and pulls a fast one, sasara pressing his lips to yours so quickly.

you squeak (another of his favorite sounds) and try to move back naturally, but the counter is blocking your way. you should be used to sasara’s antics by now after all, but you never are, totally taken aback by how seemingly out of nowhere he kisses you. it’s welcomed though, and he finds it totally cute when you inevitably kiss back after that small scare. you had missed him just as much.

your lips — they feel strange to him, but also familiar. it’s been a while since he had given you a proper kiss after all, so as strange and foreign as it felt at the moment to sasara, it was still warm all the more. there were still those very same sparks he often felt, and it makes him nothing more but giddy. i mean, he had missed you after all. he tended to be slightly more jovial and cheery around you.

sasara can’t help but smile into the kiss. gosh, this felt so good! the way his heart thumps again makes him nothing short of excited again, as if it was your guys’ first ever kiss all over again! he hadn’t realized until this very moment how much he missed the feel of your lips against his.

he hopes he doesn’t taste of melon cream soda; he had one just before coming back home. though i suppose it’d be a bit funny if he did.

when he pulls back, sasara still has that grin to him. he’s in utter happiness, a cute sparkle to sasara really. he can still feel a tingle on his lips, the very same place yours were just at, and it warms him up all the more.

oh, sasara had indeed missed you so.

(“my heart is more burnt than this dish from our kiss~”

sasara laughs at his own joke, and you can’t help but throw a glare his way. lunch was burnt all because of him and his antics after all. while you pick at your food, he seems to have no trouble eating it, a brightness to him still, perhaps even brighter now than before.)

[distilledmelancholy]

Pride/Coming out Headcannons

Happy pride month! And happy first post lol. I thought it would be fun to make some headcannons about how the Welcome Home cast would celebrate/ react to you coming out!

Wally Darling

Celebrating

I feel like Wally would not really understand at first

"A special month? What about when it's not June?"

Would walk around to spread the news to the other neighbors about this wonderful thing he just learned called "pride month" (even though everyone already knows what it is)

Coming Out

Depending on what identity you're coming out with, you will most likely need to explain it to him a little bit. He's just a silly little guy after all.

Would probably paint you a picture of something to do with your identity flag or something to show that he loves you no matter what! Best friends stick together

Barnaby B. Beagle

Celebrating

Something tells me this guy can make balloon animals

Would probably make a comedy routine for pride and make jokes that target each neighbor and their identity lol

Coming Out

Would definitely make some out of pocket jokes (in a good way)

Howdy Pillar

Celebrating

Would deck out his bugdega in banners and ribbons and streamers n shit.

Would also change into the most hideously colorful uniform ever. Dear lord the colors clash so bad but hes trying to show his support for his friends!

Would stock up on all the things that the gays need (extra hairspray for Wally, and just a plethora of rainbow things and decorations for the other neighbors)

Coming Out

"Oh, ya don't say?" (already knew)

Would order you something special that reps your flag so you can show your pride!

Eddie Dear

Celebrating

Already has decor and corny outfits ready the first day of pride, and will continue to wear corny ass outfits with rainbows everywhere until the very last day.

Probably has special mail stamps and envelopes too lol

Defintely shows off Frank during this time. He loves his partner!!

Not headcannon but actually cannon... drag queen. Would be a drag queen in Sally's drag shows

Coming Out

"Awesome, more of us!"

Will definitely give you a big ol' hug and get emotional because you trust him enough to come out to him.

Frank Frankly

Celebrating

Will celebrate if his friends are doing something, but won't do anything himself.

But he'll do anything that Eddie asks him to do.

Which means he wears Eddie's god awful accessories so they can match because he just can't say no to his lovely husband.

Coming Out

Would just kind of be like "Okay cool, can you leave my house now? Im kinda busy" (Was about to go butterfly watching)

Julie Joyful

Celebrating

Would go to each neighbor individually and wish them happy pride month!

Would want to play lots of games and have lots of sleepovers to celebrate as much as possible!

Also matching with Eddie and Frank

Coming Out

"beeee who you areeee"

Give you a big happy hug and get suuper excited

Sally Starlet

Celebrating

Would host plays with the main characters being gay or something so probably shakespeare tbh

Host a drag show once a week

Coming Out

"Does this mean you'll be apart of my plays?"

Poppy Partridge

Celebrating

Makes sooo many baked goods you get a stomach ache

Definitely takes over as a mother figure during this month, so if you normall don't have supportive parents shes your mom now :)

Coming Out

Will probably start crying and give you a hug because she loves you so much

So touched that you came out to her

[connorgreens]

guessing the ilw crew's favorite movie genres:

lincoln: for some reason i see lincoln being into dramas, especially crime dramas. i'm thinking along the lines of fight club and taxi driver. but he's also a secret fan of anime movies, because he used to watch them when he was younger and now they're nostalgic to him

abel: we know he likes indiana jones, so i'm guessing he's an action/adventure type of guy. he probably prefers movies to be on the lighthearted side, and cries at movies with sad endings. he also probably genuinely enjoys watching historical documentaries

jocelyn: i feel like jocelyn can't resist a good horror comedy. it has to be a very specific type of comedy though, because she can't stand bigoted jokes in any way shape or form. movies with strong female leads like jennifer's body or heathers are right up her street

amalia: amalia is tough because i haven't played her route yet but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say she loves a good documentary. they're the only movies she'll choose to watch on her own, because she likes to feel like she's learning and being productive even if the documentary isn't meant to be educational. i can see her being really into true crime docs, but only if they focus on the victims rather than the killers

bonus because i'm having too much fun with this:

connor: connor strikes me as both an action movie dude and a comedy dude, but i also think he's the type of person who can watch anything and enjoy it. i feel like a lot of what he watches is just stuff his friends recommend, because he trusts their judgement more than his own about stuff like this

noah: noah is a total fantasy nerd but he would never admit it out loud. he tells everyone he likes horror movies, which isn't technically a lie, but if it's between lord of the rings and friday the 13th i think he would absolutely pick lotr. also, his stuffed moose is named "kenna" which im assuming is a reference to tc&tf (an in game fantasy tv show), so that pretty much confirms my theory

genuine!mc: i think genuine!mc would enjoy romantic comedies. anything sweet that can make them laugh is a good movie in their book, if it's corny and cute they've likely seen it. they don't like sad or heavy movies, and much like abel, will cry if a movie has a sad ending

sarcastic!mc: sarcastic!mc likes watching so-bad-it's-good movies in the spirit of making fun of them. they don't take any movies too seriously and are probably the type to commentate over anything they watch, whether alone or with other people

aggressive!mc: i feel like aggressive!mc is a big fan of horror movies, the gorier the better. they don't get scared very easily and will make fun of the movie if they think it's boring or the effects are lame. i also think they like to talk during movies, unless they're really invested

ilitw!mc: this one is also tough but i'm gonna say ilitw!mc likes action/thriller movies, although they will watch literally anything as long as it has a compelling plot. they probably prefer watching movies with people to watching them alone, and they're pretty chill about letting others pick the movie, so they've probably seen a variety of films in different genres

[pain-in-the-butler]

I finally watched the Noah’s Ark Circus musical with subtitles (over the course of four days - it was my downtime activity while my sister’s wedding was happening) and I have some Thoughts

It’s not a very good play lol. I could tell that was true even without the subtitles .

The song where Sebastian and Will don’t want to hold hands while they do acrobatics is the only song that I remember thinking was catchy. The rest of them were shockingly weak. No earworms to speak of .

Most of the actors do the best they can within the parameters they’re set but it’s just not well-adapted for the stage. And it’s way too dark! What an unhappy note to end a story on. It’s more or less faithful to the arc but I really wish it hadn’t been. It’s just not a pleasant tale .

Lycoris is rather dark too, but because it’s also very dramatic and romanticized and pretty (and Grell is there), I think it still lends itself to a better stage adaptation. Noah’s Ark is mostly just about people having really shitty lives and it ends on Sebastian concluding that humans are desperate creatures. Also a lot of children die. Gee, what a fun way to spend a night out....... 😐 .

I think it was frankly irresponsible to cast a young child as Ciel, if not any child. It’s not a fun role for a kid, and it’s also just inappropriate considering they really played up Kelvin’s thirst and creepiness. I think it’s far too frightening for someone who is only twelve. Reo did really well despite it all - but of course he was exhausted by the end and I think it was just way too overwhelming for him .

I care less about the circus crew than ever. The cast really tried to put themselves out there, but there’s too much overacting in an attempt to get you to fall in love with everyone/pity them before they’re killed. It’s really corny .

That said, it was cool how many of the circus people could actually do tricks! I loved how Dagger knew how to ride a unicycle, and Peter and Wendy’s back-flips were fun to watch .

I wanted to love Agni and Soma, but whenever they were on-stage, they just seemed like caricatures. I skipped their song/dance in the second act because I remembered it feeling out of place and tonally bizarre .

The servants aren’t too bad. Their actors almost always get really hammy in any play, but they’re meant to be clowns, so you expect it. However, having Bard and Ciel say “Those are the Phantomhive servants” simultaneously right before Bard blew up the manor really hit the powerful note it was meant to .

Abberline and Hanks my beloved. All their comedy skits were brilliant. The way their jokes made Furukawa and Reo break character and laugh during the Undertaker scene was so cute. I smiled any time they were on stage .

Speaking of Furukawa, of course he did great. His performance here made me realize why I love Campania so much more: it’s great to see Sebastian being smarmy and show-offy, but even better to see it juxtaposed with a desperate Sebastian who’s afraid for the first time in his life. It gives you that full scope of his character. Throughout Noah’s Ark, Sebastian is not struggling at all, so even though Furukawa is killing it with the facial expressions and poses, I felt a little bored by the script .

Most of all, I got the overall sense that everyone was doing the best with what they had, which was uncomfortable. I ended up feeling sorry for everyone who had to adapt such a difficult story.........

If I was in charge of the stage play (and I shouldn’t be), I think I would have toned things down and been less faithful to the source material. There’s no need to make it a comedy, but even tragedies need to possess lots of humanity in order to make them an enjoyable experience. I don’t think the circus antics and AbberHanks was enough to encourage a good atmosphere. I would have walked out of the theater feeling rather hopeless and uninspired if I had watched Noah’s Ark in-person.

In act two, the tragedies are just one after the other. The children dying in Kelvin’s performances, then the basement, then Kelvin getting shot and Joker slowly wilting in misery, the other Circus members getting killed, the doctor revealing the prosthetics are made of children’s bones, Ciel’s panic attack, “killing” Doll, the orphanage being abandoned - and then Sebastian sings a song about desperation and that’s the end, time to go home, bye!

I’ll honestly think more about how I’d change this, just as a fun exercise in storytelling. But if you liked Noah’s Ark, I’m happy for you! As for me, I’ll stick with rewatching Campania for the millionth time.

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #710

The Wayz We Were Season 33, Episode 4 | October 17, 2021

Man, I really hated this one. The Simpsons becoming bland was a terrible blow for the unhealthily-obsessed-with-cartoons among us. But for better or worse, The Simpsons was ahead of its time with its initial blandness. Television, by and large, has become even blander than the blandest episode of the Simpsons, even, so they now feel actually contemporary, weirdly enough. 

This one is about a Waze-like app causing the family grief by routing too many cars through Evergreen Terrace. It quickly segues into a story about Moe crossing paths with Maya, and falling in love all over again. This time he proposes to her. It sorta reminds me of when the show took another bitter loser, Comic Book Guy, and married him off.

This ends with Moe asking her to marry him and her saying yes. I’ve focused on Moe as a way to criticize the show’s fall from grace. At the start he was mean and sleazy. Jokes in the classic era ironically showed him having a soft side. That characterization wound up sticking. Mr. Burns had a similar change, going from actually-evil to doddering and oblivious. Modern mainstream comedy programs are so queasy about depicting anything other than blue sky bullshit that all the changes to make the show more toothless are now actually welcome by the modern media landscape. It makes me ill just thinking about it. 

This one is full of overly wacky and pointless gags, and a corny James Taylor needledrop. They bring back Maya, a little person that I legitimately feel uneasy about. I made a half-joking post about the previous Maya episode, suggesting that Maya can easily or subliminally be seen as a minor, and that the show was attempting to groom children. Thank goodness nobody reads this blog, because I was truly just goofing around, and wasn't sincerely trying to give weird right-wingers ammo. It was just incredibly weird how that same episode features a baby wearing what could be perceived as S&M gear domming Homer, and a photo of two children scrubbing an elderly woman’s feet, which ties directly into the story about Matt Groening getting his feet washed by a teenage girl on Jeffrey Epstein’s plane. I haven’t concluded that Matt was aware of the implications of what he was doing, and I think the show’s sicko-mode was unintentional. But I still think it would have been a good idea to rethink this.

But most importantly: episode sucks. The only good thing was Ruth Powers scolding Marge for not visiting her in years even though they live next door. Bad season canon would remind you that she, in fact, moved out of that house at some point, because Sideshow Bob moved into it. I think at the end of that a relative of Ned Flanders moved in. Well, I guess she’s back. I’m just going to put this out there: I would watch the shit out of a spin-off of just Ruth and Laura Powers, maybe they move to Arizona or something. An Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore sorta thing. Yeah. That’d be nice. As long as they didn’t make it lame and retarded. Sorry for saying retarded.

[dadjokestop]

Let’s face it—finding the best jokes isn’t just about what makes you laugh. It’s about what makes everyone laugh, from your grandma to your little cousin who just learned how to tie his shoes. And if there’s one genre of jokes that never fails to deliver, it’s dad jokes. These gems are the perfect blend of cringe and comedy, designed to make you chuckle even when you don’t want to. 1. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot! Ah, the classic play on words. This joke is short, sweet, and to the point—just like your average dad joke. It’s no wonder this one ranks high among the best jokes. 2. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty. This one’s a little painful, but that’s what makes it so funny. It’s punny, it’s clever, and it’s the kind of joke that sticks with you—just like that dentist appointment you keep putting off. 3. How do you organize a space party? You planet. Let’s take this joke to the stars! It’s out of this world in its simplicity, making it one of the best jokes to have up your sleeve for any occasion. 4. Why don't secrets make good jokes? Because they tend to leak. A little mystery, a little humor, and a whole lot of dad joke magic. This one’s for those who appreciate a good bit of wordplay, making it a top contender in the best jokes category. 5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! This joke is so sweet, it’s practically candy. It’s one of those best jokes that works for all ages, from kids to adults, and always gets a smile. 6. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. Sometimes, the simplest jokes are the funniest. This one is a prime example of how less is more, securing its spot among the best jokes. 7. Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts. This joke is back from the dead and funnier than ever. It’s the kind of joke that’s perfect for Halloween, or really, any time you want to throw in a bit of spooky humor. 8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. This one’s nacho average joke—it’s a classic! The kind of humor that’s cheesy in the best way possible, making it a must-have on any best jokes list. 9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! This joke is as fresh as the veggies in your fridge. It’s light, it’s funny, and it’s a perfect example of how dad jokes are truly the best jokes around. 10. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? This joke is relatable, clever, and just the right amount of silly to earn its place among the best jokes. Whether you’re looking to brighten someone’s day or just need a good laugh yourself, these best jokes are sure to do the trick. Dad jokes might get a bad rap for being corny, but let’s be honest—corny jokes are the best kind. So go ahead, share these jokes, and keep the laughter rolling!

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 27 May 1954

A single song week, but it's an odd song, which is cool, and it seems to fit with the nostalgic vibe of Billy Cotton's song last week. Because this song is nothing if not a throwback - are we having a bit of a 1920s nostalgia moment, here?

The Gang That Sang Heart of My Heart - Max Bygraves (peaked at No. 7)

Max Bygraves has already graced us with Cowpuncher's Cantata. He was a comedian, and that song was lightly comedic, and so is this one, but it's a strange, 1950s sort of comedy that isn't actively offensive, but doesn't read quite like comedy today. It just feels corny, in a slightly charming way.

It's got a very weird title, to my eyes. A quick check tells me that it's a reference to a famous 1899 barbershop quartet standard called The Story of the Rose, which is often referred to by its chorus' first line which is - you guessed it - "Heart of my heart". The song itself was often used in singing Valentines. The more you know.

We don't hear it straight away, but instead get a slightly jazzy intro straight out of the 1920s, harking back to an age of barbershop singing. It actually feels a lot like something Randy Newman might come up with today, a sort of campy, vintage cabaret feel. I really hope that was the spirit this was done in - it makes it so much better, if you assume that nobody involved was taking the throwback style too seriously.

Lyrically, it's simple, and as nostalgic as its tune is. Max thinks back to his youth, in what sounds like a very odd kind of street gang who stood around on street cornners. Excelt, "we were rough and ready guys / But oh how we could harmonise". It's the weirdest, least expected rhyme we've had yet, and I love it!

The whole song's about how this song they used to sing "brings back a memory" and how everything in the past was better, including the spurious claim that "friends were dearer then". He's sure that if he heard the song again, he'd get all emotional - and then the spoken word section begins, with an arch "Let me hear that barbershop quartet. Ready, fellas?"

Amazingly, an actual barbershop quartet then comes in to sing the chorus, except it's peppered with inane observations from Max, none of them delivered particularly convincing, from "It's my favourite" and "Wonderful, isn't it?", to the more impenetrable "Keep it humble boys". They're all just very lame, and amusing and irritating to me in equal measure. I can't decide if they're the worst of the funniest thing ever, they're that bad.

We break only for a dad joke, as Max suggests that "I'll just sing this part solo - so low you can't hear me". Groanworthy, truly, though he does then at least go for a solo, so it's not completely gratuitous.

Still, I can't exactly be sad when he cuts himself off with a spoken "Everybody sing!", which brings the backing singers back for a rousing final chorus. It's a nice moment, though again, it feels like it could be from a Randy Newman song. I'm imagining Mike from Monsters Inc singing this song, and it does improve it quite a bit.

Well, that was a trip. Not necessarily a good one, but it certainly wasn't boring. I'm not sure if people bought this and took it seriously, but it's a lot more fun if you don't. And with that, I think I have to name it as my favourite. So...

Favourite song of the bunch - all together now! - The Gang That Sang Heart of My Heart