#will pay somebody to edit them to this

[angel-lusions]

flaws and all x sydcarmy

[br1ghtestlight]

im still not 100% sure when season 14 of bob's burgers is going to release like they SAY episode one will allegedly premiere on october 1st but beyond that im just imagining a 6 month hiatus bcuz both the writers AND the voice actors of the show are striking and they couldn't have got that far into production honestly

[wordstome]

how c.ai works and why it's unethical

Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.

The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.

How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].

I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.

"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."

Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.

(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)

Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:

It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.

C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.

Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.

DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.

(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)

[coffee-and-tea-time]

Yandere shop! Choose your yandere!

I was thinking, did you ever listen to yandere asmr videos? If so, you will catch on quickly that this is based on the yandere shop, which was so popular in asmr videos during the pandemia. - coffee

If you didn’t, quick summary Coffee gave me: imagine if there is a place where you can enter and you can ‘buy’ (they pay you since you are going to take care of a serial killer so he don’t kill people while you two got your twisted love) a yandere of your choosing. - tea

Word count: 1.2k but this will be edited to correct misspellings or weird sentence structure later, sorry in advance.

tw: yandere behavior, willing reader, delulu, written in you/yours, reader is a little nervous but really interested, you can choose humans yanderes and non-human (although humanoid) yanderes!

You fix your clothing and take a deep breath, your mind filled with ‘what if..’ yet, you were here, in a place that you didn’t trust was real

A creak takes you out of your thoughts, a smiling man dressed rather formally, greets you cheerfully.

“Sorry to interrupt when you are so absorb in your pretty mind My dear, but you know, a little push may help you”

He said as he extended his hand to you, well, you already made your way here hoping to get a yandere so you gather all your corague as you take the man's hand. He led inside the shop, you can hear the click of the door closing behind you as you follow him.

“Oh, I hope you weren’t thinking of backing up so quickly Dear, want something to drink?”

You gently shake your shake as you sit down in one of the couches, on the inside it looks pretty much like a coffee shop.

“Smart choice but you still seem rather nervous, want to say something before I go ahead and show you the catalog?”

“Well, I wanted to know, what can you do for the yandere you like to like you back? What if the one I choose doesn't like me back?”

Your worries were met with a not-so-subtly laugh from the man which make you kind of annoyed and embarrassed.

“Sorry Dear, I just never thought I ever meet somebody that feel insecure about the love of a yandere”

Now you wanted to punch him, is a normal question to ask! The yandere have their own way to fall in love!

“Let me give you a quick explanation, if they had a darling, both of us know they would be busy stalking them. The yanderes we have don’t have a darling, but are eager for the sense of love on their own way which may not suit everyone so to avoid problems, this shop was put in place as a matchmaker between differents kinds of yanderes and people who enjoy them"

You sight in relief as you nod.

“alright, who is more likely to go even more insane if they don't get a darling soon.."

"Sorry, what did you just say? I couldn't hear you well"

"Oh, nothing Dear, I was just searching for the ones that been waiting the most, is how the list work, I will show you a few options first so you have an idea, you can ask for another kind if you had something else in mind, I'm sure we got something that will suit your taste; Although, do remember that is just one yandere, we had problems with that before"

"How is it that someone got the permission to have more than one? I thought you guys will keep in track that since well, it's dangerous for anyone"

"She didn't have permission but she manage because she stubbornly wanted a yandere harem, the result are expected, averyone in that house died except for one yandere, he is again on the list, and as you can guess, he end up more being more... intense. He is totally your perfect option if you like a very possessive yandere, he's a more serious yandere for that experience"

“That will be dangerous for me too?”

"Dont worry Dear, he is truly desperate for love like the rest, his name is Dizie. But if you rather a more gentle treat, Gabriel is your guy, I don't know much about him since he said that only his darling will get to know everything about him. As far as I know, he's kind of yandere that will kiss the ground were his darling walk, a worshiper you can say, if you like someone looks at you like you are a deity, he's definitely your perfect match"

“Isn’t every yandere a worshiper in their own ways?”

"Well, I guess? Is true that others have another específic ways to worship, look, he's the baker, relishes in your enjoyment of their pastries, a very skilled baker that knows how to include the most unique of ingredients to make the sweetest of treats, dreams of putting his heart and soul in every treat he bakes for his darling, his name is Oliver”

"What kind of ingredients tho?"

“The next one you may like is actually a popular singer, he chooses to keep anonymous unless chosen, but if you want to be a celebrity or date one, he is someone you can guess that will love to spoil their darling, he’s on the talkative side, if you like art or stuff like that, you will enjoy his house. although he babbles a lot of how he wish to hear the voice of his darling obsessively for hours”

The seller seems to dodge your question.

“Ah, of course, we also have some special yanderes if humans are boring or less attractive for you, look, he’s Myotis, the classic vampire, he even has wings! Isn’t it perfect to see the sky closer while you enjoy the company of a yandere that looks like he just came out of a book? If you are also into short kings, you gonna love him without a doubt”

"He's not going to drain me out of blood, is he?"

“Dear, why would a yandere who waits so long for their darling, kill them? But if vampires aren't your type, you could go for a mothman! You will be the light of his life, literally. He’s a big softie and kind of clumsy; he just eagerly waits for the arrival of his daylight. A good choose if you like special clingy yanderes, he is not around humans too much, but he said he wanted to be called Lior if he got chosen. Oh, if you are on the stronger side, you may want to keep your eye on Tarak, he said something about his name meaning something like star and protector I think, I guess he chose the name by himself, he’s a prideful dragon and really loves to talk, honestly, I’m not that intelligent to understand some things that he say, but if you like to know new things by listening, asking or reading, he's your man, you can try trying to teach him something new, I don't think is impossible to archive”

“You know what ag…”

You stopped talking when you catch a security camera in a corner moving around frantically yet appear like not seeing anything?

“Don’t mind him, is just Grier, even though I don’t know if that's his real name, I do know he loves trying to spy here using the security cameras so we end up having to put tape on them when a darling is coming to the shop; as you can guess, he’s a hacker, if you choose him, you will be very well protected and taken cared of since you gonna be being watched even if you think you are alone, if that what you wish for, please do choose him.”

The seller looks at you, waiting for an answer, to choose what kind of yandere you want or ask for a specific type now.

“You don’t really go outside too much, so I don’t think you gonna have problems with any of them”

You act like you didn’t hear his murmur as you look at the papers in your hand of every yandere he just talked about.

If your favorite options lose or you want something specific, just send an ask! We love comments and interactions in general so don't be shy.

seller post

Sneak peek of the first encounters

sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣

images from pinterest ⚘

[kaciebello]

Message cannot be sent

Masterlist Delivery Express ✿ Summary: The reader sees an opportunity to run an untapped market in Hogwarts. Feeling like not doing enough, some books about vampires will help.  Warnings: Making the reader feel bad, no use of y/n Authors note: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes beforehand. Still mad that they took my yellow text colouring ⋋_⋌. Proofread by me and me only (Ｔ▽Ｔ) • Previously: Too many voicemails word count: 1.2k

Notes to deliver: 1057

The dining hall was as busy as always. Piles of food on each table and chatter all over the place. Even the professors talked among themselves. It was hard to hear people next to you, but you for sure could hear the conversations of other people on the other side of the table. Everyone kept to their house, talking to their housemates. And that is why nobody even batted an eye at a girl in a green uniform wearing a suspiciously yellow bow in her hair, sitting next to the Slytherin royalty. The boys did not pay her much attention, talking among themself, in their minds, planning school and world domination as if it was a game of chest. Granted none of them were good at chess but they can still try and play it. In reality, they were planning how to beat Ravenclaw at Quidditch later that week. What weirded them out was the lack of envelopes she liked to have with her. Something about everyone being in the hall made them easy to track. 

She received pointed looks from the boys, not noticing them, however. Draco jabbed Blaise in his ribs, trying to get him to say something. None of them dared to say anything. None of them wanted to look like despraed second years waiting for a note from their crush that had never written back. Well, that was until Lorenzo mustered up the courage.

“Where are your love notes at?” He says reaching for the plate full of chicken and bringing it closer to her. Knowing the girl would crawl over the whole table for them if he didn't.

She shrugs and reaches for the chicken strip, the plate now sitting in the middle of the group. Taking a bite before speaking.

“I sold it.” Confusion on their face as she continued to eat and pile more food on her plate.

“ Wha do you mean you sold it?” Asked Blaise. Fork pointing at her.

“Exactly what I said. I no longer run the delivery business.”

“Who did you sell it to?”

Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she put down her food.

“Okay listen. I had a dream right? And in that dream, an owl came to me and said if I sold it to her, she was gonna get me a limited edition of that muggle book I've been wanting. So I agreed and sold it to her.”

“You sold it in a dream?” she nods at his question.

“ I don't think that's how business works.” He's sure to give her a bit of a side eyes. Maybe it is one of the muggle ways of conducting business he's not aware of.  Theodor started to laugh and soon enough others joined him.

Others at the table give them looks but they have been unbothered by it. The girl started to pout, not knowing what was so funny. the boys crack more jokes about owls and cryptic dreams, she however did not pay attention to those. Not even understanding the joke about the owl possibly being Mattheo's dads. She felt a bit sad that her friends made fun of her in the dining hall. Mattheo notices this and stops.

“Wait, you were serious?” He yelps, stopping the other boys from laughing. She just nods hint of tears in her eyes.

“I don't get what's so funny.” Her voice was unstable as she said this and rather than engaging in conversations with them, she piles more food on the plate and eats without looking at them. The boys feel bad for making her feel like that, but you can't blame them. It is not every day somebody tells them they sold business to an owl.

Lorenzo feeling the worst of all of them decides to speak up.

“What is the book about?” Just like that. It was like a switch flipped inside her. She turned to them with a wide smile and sparkles in her eyes. Some would even think she was faking it before to make them feel bad. None would dare to say it aloud.

“I'm not sure, it has something to do with vampires and werewolves.” She says, gesturing with her hands, what only the boys could interpret as a werewolf.

“We have werewolfs too.” Says Mattheo, knowing damn well he did not pay attention when they covered them. He could be only half sure. Even less when the girl shook her head.

“These are sexy werewolfs.” She made sure to emphasize the word sexy. Frustrated at not having any proof for her words. Theodor just rolled his eyes at her comment.

“ I can howl if you're interested.” He says gesturing to his body. A disgusted look from Blaise and a sigh from her discouraged him from actually howling.

“What else is it about.” Says Draco, although it was hard to understand him, as he was showing his fifth scone in his mouth.

“Something about the thing that shall not be named.” She says and Mattheo's ears perk up.

“My dad?”

“No, not that one.” Mattheo just made a disappointed sound at her answer.

They have seemingly moved from the conversations. Not bothered by the fact that their friend quit her business and sold it to an owl in her dream. It wasn't so strange after all in a school of magic and wizardry. Well, no, it was strange, but not as much as people would expect.

Lorenzo however stopped his chatter when a little note fell in front of him, catching it before it could touch his food. None of his friends seemed to notice this. All caught up in their conversation, trying to see how many scones can Draco actually stuff in his mouth. So he turned to a girl, leaned closer to her, and whispered.

“I thought you stopped.” A sly smirk appears on his face. The girl looks at him confused before turning red all over her face and ears. Her eyes fell on the note that sat between his fingers. Avoiding his eyes, he put his arm around her shoulders to make her look at him. She took a breath to answer him but she only managed to stutter a few words before a yell from Mattheo interrupted her. Both Lorenzo and her look at the other boy, also holding a note in his hand. They exchanged confused looks before other one fell in front of Blaise.

More and more notes started to fall around them. Along with other mail as the owls flew circles around the hall. Everyone looked up amazed, the amount of love notes made it look like it was snowing. Few love confession howlers could be heard at the other tables. Professor McGonagall was holding a love note on her own, blushing and hiding her face behind her hands.

 That's when they heard a thud on the table. A box set of limited editions of books landed right in front of their friend. The girl squealed in excitement, completely abandoning her food to immediately pull one out to investigate it. They all looked at her in shock not believing their eyes. Lorenzo's note was completely forgotten.  Coos from an owl sounded above their heads. The girl snickered at their shocked faces.

“I guess I did sell the business after all.”

Notes to deliver: 0

Final author note: We have come to the end of the series! Hope you liked it! Don't hesitate to send me questions if you have any. Anyone on the tag list will be automatically added to the sequel tag list, if you're against it please let me know and I will remove you! I hope you're doing well and I'll see you next time. ♡(ŐωŐ人)

Tag list:

@daisiesformylove , @klimovatereza-blog , @lafrone , @enfppixie , @rafegfs , @frogtape , @lovelyygirl8 , @catiwinky, @anyam444 , @leeleecats , @ghostgardn , @reverse-soe , @ultramarinetovelvet , @iwishigotswallowed , @jazz-berry , @justatadbonkers

[joeyb1989]

accidentally* - joe burrow

word count: 6.2k

pairing: joe burrow x reader

warnings: smut, fwb, small angst, love triangle, fluff, cussing

a/n: okay i decided to split this up into parts because im not sure if i want this to be a series yet or not LMAO. i’m not sure how many parts there would be, but right now there’s at least one more part planned. the next part should be out within the next week or so. also if some of this looks familiar, remember i posted a sneak peek a few days ago. i hope you all enjoy 💕

edit: after starting to write the third part of this series, i decided to change the timeline a bit. the series now starts before OTA’s (which are taking place during April for the sake of the story) instead of training camp.

——

April 2024

“Well if it isn’t my favorite media manager,” Joe smiled at you, waving over the bartender.

You smiled at the much taller quarterback, who was now sitting next to you.

OTA’s were starting the following week and Coach Taylor wanted the team and staff to have fun before the season began.

“Well if it isn't my favorite quarterback,” you teased.

You’d been working for the Bengals for as long as Joe has played for them. On your first day, you had a little incident – which introduced you to the dirty blonde.

Flashback to your first day

It was your first day working for the Bengals media team. You were so anxious about your first day. You were fresh out of college and felt intense pressure on you to succeed. You had only been in the facility for 30 minutes and you were already wishing the day was over. Not that you hated your job already, you were just so nervous.

You had been in a meeting with the rest of the media team – which you had just learned is a frequent thing – when you had to rush across the facility to get all the equipment that would be needed for the practice that day. As you rounded a corner, you were hurrying and not paying attention until you felt your body collide with somebody else’s. You look to see that you spilled your iced coffee on a very tall, and very fit man’s white t-shirt.

“Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry,” you apologized, picking up the plastic cup and ice cubes off the floor.

“No, I’m sorry,” he said, helping you pick up the rest of the ice.

“I wasn't looking where I was going,” you both said in unison.

You both laughed before he extended his hand to you, “I’m Joe.”

“I’m Y/n,” you smiled, shaking his hand.

You had heard a couple of your co-workers gossiping about the rookie quarterback named Joe. They said that he was handsome but you never imagined him to be this handsome.

“You look awfully pretty to be a football player,” Joe said with a smirk

Your cheeks heated up at his compliment, “I’m the new media team intern.”

“Ah, that makes more sense,” he laughed, “make sure to get my good side out there.”

“I’ll try my best,” you giggled

“I’ll see you around, Y/n.”

“I’ll see you around, Joe,” you said, making your way to get the camera equipment.

End of flashback

After your and Joe’s little mishap on your first day, it sparked something between you two. Both of you had just gotten out of long-term relationships just before you met, so by ‘spark,’ you meant friends with benefits; even though both of you always felt something more.

“Will you put her drinks on my tab?” Joe asked the bartender.

“You don’t have to do that,” you smiled

“But I want to,” Joe smiled back.

After talking for about 20 minutes about anything and everything while drinking many rounds, you both were hammered.

All of a sudden, Joe loudly gasped, “We should play darts!”

“Okay,” you chirped, “Let’s do it!”

Joe led you over to the dart board, where he was destroying you.

“Joeeee, I never was very good at darts,” you whined

Joe smiled before walking behind you, “Let me help.”

His large left hand was on your hip, your back was against his chest, and you could feel his cock on your ass. His right hand guided yours, which contained a dart, to the board, getting you 20 points. Your breath hitched when he leaned down and whispered in your ear, “Has anyone told you that you look absolutely sexy in this dress.”

Even though you and Joe have hooked up a bunch of times, you swore you could have seen a twinkle in his eyes.

“Mmm, no,” you say, “just you.”

“I don't believe you,” Joe chuckled. “You’re the most gorgeous woman in this place,” he whispered. His words were so sweet that you literally thought you died and this was heaven. Your stomach filled with butterflies at his words. You turned around in his grasp, his arms going around your waist as your hands landed on his chest.

“I think you’re the most handsome man here,” you smiled

You leaned forward and captured his lips in a sweet kiss before it heated up. His hand fell from your waist to your ass as you sucked on his bottom lip. You two pulled away for air when he bent down to whisper in your ear again, “Let’s get out of here.”

20 minutes later

“Oh my g- god, Joe!” you moaned as your orgasm washed over you. After leaving the bar in an Uber, Joe spent some time worshiping your body and eating you out like you were his last meal once you arrived at his place

He continued lapping your juices up as you came down from your climax. Once your breathing returned to normal, he leaned over the top of you, pressing feather-like kisses to your jaw.

“Are you okay?” he asked

“Mhm,” you smile, “but I need you inside of me.” 

His eyes grew darker and filled with lust at your words. At the speed of light, he pulled his jeans and boxers down. 

Now that he was free, you look at his thick and pulsing cock. Precum was dripping out of his tip as he lined himself up with your core. No matter how many times you’ve seen it, his dick is always mesmerizing to you

He teased your slick folds with his tip, chuckling when you became a whimpering mess under him. 

“Please Joe,” you whined

“Please what, baby?” Joe asked with a smirk

“Please, fuck me,” you moaned

That was all Joe needed to hear before he sank his cock into you. You both moaned at the sensation of being balls-deep inside of you. “Let me know when it’s okay for me to move,” Joe said as he peppered kisses on your forehead. Joe was always sweet with you while fooling around with you. You always wondered what he was like with girlfriends if he was this sweet with his fuck-buddy.

After a couple of minutes, you gave him the okay to move. His thrusts started slow and gentle, afraid he might hurt you. He soon quickened up the pace, his tip ramming into your cervix with each thrust.

“You are so. fucking. tight.,” he groaned, punctuating each word with a rough thrust. 

“Joe- oh my- don’t stop!” you moaned, your hands moving to send scratches down his toned back.

“Y/n,” Joe moaned into your neck, “You feel so good, baby.”

You pull on Joe’s curls, guiding his head so that your lips meet for a sloppy kiss.

After one particularly rough thrust, his cock grazing your g-spot, you felt that unmistakable feeling in your belly building up, begging to be released.

“Joe… I’m gonna cum-” you moaned into his mouth

“Fuck, me too,” Joe moved his hand down to where you two connected, rubbing soft circles on your clit.

You were practically screaming when you came for a second time. After a few more rough thrusts, Joe shot his hot load into you, before collapsing onto your chest.

Once you both came down from your highs, Joe pulled out of you and got up. He headed for the bathroom, coming back into the bedroom a couple of minutes later with a wet washcloth. He cleaned you up before crawling back into bed. He pulled you into his chest, kissing your forehead delicately.

“Goodnight, Y/n,” Joe yawned

“Goodnight, Joey,” you smiled.

The next morning

The bright sunlight seeped into the room from Joe’s window. For a minute, you were confused about where you were until you remembered the events of last night. Feeling weight on your chest, you look down to see Joe with his head on your chest, his curls falling over his forehead. His arms were wrapped loosely around your waist. You brought your hand up to his curls, lightly brushing them out of his closed eyes until he began to stir in his sleep.

He slowly opened his eyes, meeting your gaze as a small smile made its way onto his face.

“Good morning,” he smiled, rolling off of you after pressing a kiss to your cheek and walking into his closet. He comes back a moment later with an old t-shirt of his and a pair of sweats. “I figured you would want to change into something more comfortable,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” you smile at his effort to keep you as comfortable as possible. As amazing as sex was with Joe, the aftercare was even better.

“I’m going to go start breakfast,” he smiles, stepping into fresh boxers and sweatpants.

“You don’t have to do that for me-” you say

“But I want to,” Joe interrupts you, echoing his words from last night

“Okay, I’ll be down there in a minute,” you sigh, playfully rolling your eyes. He nods and sends you a sweet smile before walking out of the room.

You sigh again, thinking about the conversation you had with Joe last night. Not once has Joe ever complimented you like that. People say that drunk words are sober thoughts, so were his words last night how he really feels? Or was it all of that tequila he drank? 

“Ooooh, something smells nice down here,” you smile at the smell of the delicious breakfast Joe is making, “What is it?”

“Breakfast burritos,” he smiles, “There’s scrambled eggs, roasted potatoes, shredded cheese, avocado, turkey bacon, and salsa.”

“Yum,” you say, “That makes my mouth water just thinking about it,”

“I also know you like to have coffee every morning, so I made you some,” he smiles while handing you a mug, but it turns into a grimace, “I hope I didn't make it too sweet for you.”

You take a long sip of the hot drink, smiling because it tastes just the way you like it, “It’s perfect, Joe, thank you.”

You stare at him for a few seconds, furrowing your brows. “How do you know how I like my coffee?”

“I could say that I could tell when a certain someone spilled it on me, but you make it every time you’re over here.”

“Oh my god,” you cover your face with your hands, “that was the worst day of my life.”

“Wow the day you met me was the worst day of your life? Thanks, Y/n,” Joe joked

You playfully roll your eyes at him, “I didn't think you paid that much attention.” 

“Go sit down, I’ll bring the burritos over in a sec,” Joe smiled before you did his bidding

You two exchanged some small talk over the heavenly burritos Joe prepared.

“How’s rehab coming along?”

Joe sighed before speaking, “Pretty good, I’m excited to get back out there.”

‘Yeah, well, in my opinion, you’re looking great out there,” you smile

“Thanks, but who knows how the season will go,” Joe sighs

“Joe..” you began but stopped when Joe gave you a don’t-go-there look. Joe always hated opening up to you about his struggles, so you let it go.

His house fell quiet again, your eyes going wide when you made a realization. “Joe,” you say, “Did we use a condom?”

Joe furrows his brows, thinking for a moment before his eyes go wide. “No.. uh we- we did not…”

There were a few quiet moments of panicking between the two of you before you spoke up again. “Hey, it’s okay… I’m on birth control,” you tried to soothe, even though your anxiety was out the roof.

“That’s not 100% accurate though, right,” Joe questioned

“Neither are condoms,” you state, matter-of-a-factly

Joe nods his head, running a hand through his hair. A few minutes of silence go by again before he speaks up, “Alright, so we should be good?”

“Yeah,” you smile

“Alright,” Joe nods, “We’re good.”

Eight weeks later

Spoiler alert: things were not good.

A couple of weeks after your and Joe’s drunken hookup, he very kindly explained to you that he started seeing someone and wanted to see where it went. You understood completely. Joe wasn't yours and you weren't his, so why wouldn't you understand?

As you were reviewing the new intern’s work, you felt your phone buzz from beside you. You pick it up and see a text from your mom.

Hey sweetie, are you feeling better?

She was referring to the fact that you have been dealing with on-and-off nausea and fatigue for the past couple of weeks. She has been bugging you to go to the doctor about it, but with being too busy with work lately, you haven't gotten the chance. 

Yep, a bit. I should be alright to come to the cookout tonight though :)

Is your period late?

What?

Check your app.

You closed out the messages app and navigated to find your period app. Your heart drops when you see that your period is, in fact, late. Even worse, you scroll to see that the day you had sex with Joe was when you were ovulating.

Fuck.

Mom, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it to the cookout tonight.

A few hours later

After clocking out of work, you drove straight to the nearest drugstore to pick up a couple of pregnancy tests before driving home.

Now here you were, sitting on your bed with your leg bouncing up and down, a pregnancy test upside down on the bathroom counter, a timer on your phone counting down the seconds until your life could change forever.

You couldn't be pregnant. No way. You had always been so safe when it came to sex. In fact, this was the only time you and Joe had not worn a condom. ‘I’m never drinking alcohol again after this,’ you think to yourself.

You were pulled out of your trance by your timer going off. You flipped your phone over to turn it off, slowly standing up and walking into the bathroom. Your hands start shaking as you pick up the plastic test, your eyes immediately darting to the word ‘Pregnant,” indicating that you will be having a baby in just nine months.

Your mind immediately goes to Joe as you choke out sobs. He is already under so, so much pressure and you would hate to add to it. He was doing so well too. He was bouncing back quite well, and he seemed so happy. You didn’t want to ruin it all for him, but he has to know that he has a baby on the way.

The next day

After thinking about it the rest of the day, you decided the best thing to do was not bombard him at the facility. So, here you were standing on his porch, the positive pregnancy test in your purse, about to change the man’s life forever.

After knocking on the door, you thought about darting off the porch and speeding away in your car but didn't have time to even think about it until the door swung open.

“May I help you?” A short, blonde woman asked, your brows furrowed at her until it hit you.

Haley.

Flashback to your first time at Joe’s house

You were standing in Joe’s living room, him getting you a glass of water in the kitchen. You notice all his pictures on his TV stand, looking closer to see a short, blonde woman kissing his cheek at an LSU game.

“That’s Haley,” he gave a closed-lip smile.

The first night you and Joe hooked up, you two blabbed to each other about past relationships; Joe a little more than you.

“I’m still sorry for what she did,” you say

“You didn't do anything,” he says

You look back at the seemingly sweet girl in the picture frame. Even though you and Joe barely knew each other, he was still one of the sweetest guys you’ve met. You couldn't imagine how someone could treat him the way she did.

Not only did she cheat on him, but she cheated on him during Heisman weekend, in Haley and Joe’s hotel room. Even though Joe found out, he stayed with her until right before his first training camp. 

“You don't deserve that, though,” you rub his shoulder.

“I meant to throw her pictures out, I’m sorry you saw them,” he said

“No I get it Joe, take your time,” you smiled

End of flashback

“Hey, uh… is Joe home,” you questioned

“What do you need him for?” she asked.

“We work together and there’s an urgent work thing that I need to ask him about,” you lie

“Well, he’s not home. I’m his girlfriend, I’ll tell him you stopped by,” she fake-smiled

“Okay, thank you,” internally rolling your eyes at her.

So much for telling him today.

The next day

“Come in,” you say after you hear a knock on your office door

“Hey, I heard you wanted to see me,” Joe smiled

“Hey, yeah… sit down,” you said, trying to prepare yourself for the conversation you’re about to have.

“What’s up,” he questions

“Joe… I don’t know any way to sugarcoat thi-” you say

“Then don’t,” Joe interrupted, “Just tell me.”

You look at him for a few moments, trying to find the courage to say those two words.

“I’m pregnant,” you whisper, avoiding making eye contact with him

His jaw drops open, “You.. yo- your- and I- I’m…?”

“You’re the father by the way, which maybe you picked up but I can’t understand your stuttering,” you nervously laugh

The room falls silent again for a few moments, both of you still in shock

“Are you… keeping it,” Joe questions

“Yeah, and don’t feel any pressure at all. You can be as involved as you want,” you soothe

Joe just sat there, staring off into space, trying to wrap his mind around everything.

“Y/n.. I just need a bit to think things over, I’m sorry…” Joe says, getting up and walking out of your office.

Later that night

You were reading a magazine about everything expecting mothers should be doing when you heard a knock on your door. You open the door and are surprised at what you see.

“What are you doing here,” you ask

“Can I come in,” Joe questions

“Of course,” you step aside to let him in your house.

“I’m here to talk about the baby,” he blurts

“Okay, go ahead,” you gave a small smile

“I’m so sorry for how I acted earlier. It just all came as a shock and I didn’t know how to handle it. I mean you know me, I’m not ready to be a dad. Even if this definitely wasn't planned, I’m not walking out on you or our baby,” Joe rants

You smile before walking over to him, engulfing him in a hug, “Thank you, Joe. But you are going to be a great dad.”

“I’m sure you saw Haley when you came over yesterday,” Joe said

“Yeahhhh,” you drag out. You’ve made your feelings about her very obvious to Joe before.

“I told her about it and she isn't exactly… thrilled,” Joe grimaced, “but she wants to stay with me, so.”

“Okay…?” you furrow your brows

“I just wanted to tell you so you would know,” Joe sheepishly smiled

“Thank you,” you smiled, “I have my first appointment in a few days, you are welcome to come if you would like.”

“Consider me there,” Joe says, pressing a kiss to your forehead

A few days later

“Hey, Joe,” you smile

“Hey Y/n,” Joe opens your car door for you

“Are you excited to see our little one,” Joe smiles, jogging to the driver’s side of the car

“I am, I didn't know you would be,” you say

“How come,” Joe asked, pulling out of your driveway

“I don't know, I just feel like I’m forcing you to take me,” you mumble

“Y/n, I would do anything for y- the baby,” Joe paused, “I’d do anything for the baby, so you aren’t forcing me,” Joe squeezed your hand reassuringly.

Ever since you told Joe about the baby, his whole attitude towards you has changed. He’s seemed happier to see you, he’s texted you every day, checking up on his little guy or girl growing inside of you. He even offered to take you to the appointment. Not that Joe wasn't nice to you before, it was just different.

——

Pulling into the doctor’s office parking lot, Joe turned the car off, letting out a sigh. You noticed him playing with his wristbands, something he often did if something was bothering him.

“Joe, what’s wrong,” you question as you meet his gaze.

“I’m fine,” he said, even though his eyes told you otherwise. You didn't have time to respond to him as he got out of the car and jogged over to your side, opening the door.

“You know I’m pregnant, not incapable of opening a door, right,” you tease

“Please, you know I’ve opened doors for you before I got you pregnant,” he smiled

“I guess you’re right,” you playfully roll your eyes.

After checking in and waiting in the waiting room, you see Joe fidgeting with his wristbands and bouncing his leg up and down out of the corner of your eye.

“Joe,” you say, placing your hand on his thigh, “seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he mumbles but sighs when you raise an eyebrow at him. “Just nerves.”

“You can talk to me about it if you want,” you soothe, rubbing his shoulder

He looks into your eyes a moment, before running a hand through his hair. “I’m scared that I’m not going to be a good father, Y/n.”

His words shocked you. In all the time that you’ve known Joe, he’s never been one to open up with you on that level

“I mean, I’m in such a good place with the wrist, and I’m so excited for the season, but what if I’m not around enough for it,” Joe confessed

“Joe, I should be due in March. If everything goes as planned, you’ll be done with football in February. You’re going to be an excellent father too, you are caring and compassionate. You do everything you do with 120% effort, I expect nothing less than your role as a father too,” you smile

“Thank you Y/n,” Joe smiles, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Y/n,” a nurse calls

“That’s us,” you smile, signaling for Joe to stand up.

——

“Okay, this gel might be a little cold,” the ultrasound tech warns

After talking with your doctor, you and Joe were now in the tech room, about to see your baby for the first time. 

“There it is,” the tech smiles, directing the screen towards you two. Both you and Joe choked up at seeing the baby. There was nothing like seeing the baby and hearing its heartbeat that you both made. The baby on a screen in a cold lab room will soon be a little Y/n or a little Joe running around.

After finishing up the ultrasound, the tech printed out the ultrasound and gave you the pictures. “I’ll give you two a minute,” she smiles, walking out of the room

“I can’t believe we made that,” you say looking at the pictures of your little baby.

“I know,” Joe choked out, tears running down his face.

You turn your head to look at him, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears off his face. Your eyes drop down to his pink lips, wanting nothing more to press yours to them; but you can’t. Instead, you just bring him in for a tight hug, while he presses a kiss to your forehead.

20 minutes later

“So wait,” you say, popping a french fry into your mouth, “You think that aliens are already here?”

“Absolutely, I mean… I’m sure that if they are smart enough to visit us, then they are smart enough to cloak themselves from us so we can’t see them,” Joe replies, sipping his milkshake

“Mmmm, okay,” you giggle

After your appointment, you and Joe saw a 60’s themed diner down the street that neither of you had tried. Somehow the conversation drifted from the baby to aliens.

“You’re not gonna see aliens on an iPhone, Y/n,” Joe scoffs playfully

“I guess you’re right,” you smile

“You know I am,” Joe teases

“We need to go back to talking about the baby, Joe,” you laugh, “I don’t even know how we got started on the aliens.”

Joe nodded, “Okay, okay… so we made the agreement that you would move in with me once the lease on your apartment is up, right?”

“Yes, and I should be five-ish months by then,” you nod

“I have the space for your room and a baby nursery,” Joe said, “in case you were worried about that.”

“I know Joe, the only thing I’m worried about is Haley,” you said

“Rightttt,” Joe grimaced

Flashback to when Joe told Haley

“What do you mean pregnant,” Haley screamed, “Joe, I don't even know why you would associate yourself with that slut!”

Joe was headed to your apartment to talk to you after he stormed out of your office earlier that day, but wanted to tell Haley first.

“Haley, don’t talk about her like that. I was the one that didn't use protection,” Joe tries to calm her down

Haley scoffed, “What the fuck do you mean, Joe. She is literally trying to baby-trap you!”

Joe rolled his eyes, “Haley, I know this is hard for you to-”

“No, you don’t, Joe! I mean how could you do this to me,” Haley said

“Haley, I understand that this complicates a lot, but I want to stay with you. I’m heading over there to talk to her,” Joe stated

“Like hell you are,” Haley said, trying to grab his car keys out of his hand, “As your girlfriend, I don't think you should see her anymore.”

“I can do what I damn well please,” Joe raised his voice, slamming the front door behind him.

End of flashback

“How is she coming along,” you ask, taking a bite of your cheeseburger.

‘She thinks I’m at practice right now but instead, I’m with you because she doesn't want me seeing you,’ Joe thought

“She’s not too happy, but she will come around,” Joe smiles

“Good, good,” you smile, “We also agreed that we will see each other two times a week outside of work so that we can get closer and you can build a relationship with the baby, right?”

“Yeah,” Joe smiles, “I’m glad that I’m having a baby with you, Y/n. Anyone else wouldn't put in this effort to make it work.”

“Of course, anything for you the baby,” you smile

Joe ponders for a minute before speaking up, “How about we have dinner with Haley soon? I know you two haven't officially met. Maybe it will help her get more comfortable with the situation.”

‘It’s a good thing Joe loves her,’ you think to yourself

“I think that’s a great idea, Joe,” you smile, not because you’re happy to see her, but because you know it will make him happy.

A few weeks later

“Gold or silver jewelry,” you ask your sister, Abby, who came over to help ease your nerves.

“Silver,” she replied, standing next to the doorway, “You gonna be okay?”

You take a deep breath before replying, “Yeah, I’ll be alright. Just nervous.”

Tonight was the scheduled dinner between you, Haley, and Joe. Your nerves have skyrocketed over the past couple of days. Tonight was a big deal for the future of your and Joe’s co-parenting plan, as well as the baby. Haley was, rightfully, upset when she found out about the baby, but from what you heard about her, you know that she was more upset than Joe let on.

The current plan was for you to move in with Haley and Joe in two months. She was already living with him because Joe found some way to love the monster of a woman Haley is, despite everything she has done to him.

“That dress really shows off the bump,” your sister smiles at your growing three-month bump. Even though it was barely there, you loved nothing more than seeing it poke out in certain clothes.

“Are you staying here while I’m gone,” you ask while stuffing your phone, lip balm, wallet, and keys into your purse.

“No, I’m gonna head out when you leave,” Abby answers, “I need to head home and finish packing for my trip this weekend.”

“You can stay here and watch reruns of Keeping Up with The Kardashians if you want,” you say, knowing your sister would want to postpone packing for as long as possible

“I’ll think about itttt,” your sister replies, both of you knowing she is definitely staying.

“Okay, well I got to go grab dinner with my ex-situationship – aka my baby daddy – and his toxic girlfriend that probably wants to claw my eyes out,” you laugh

“Y/n, it’s going to be okay. We all know that you and Joe are going to be together before that baby comes out of you anyway,” Abby soothes

You stop dead in your tracks, “Abby… what?”

“Y/n… literally the way you just talk about Joe shows me how you feel about him. I mean you two have so much in common, you work together, and I mean you’re having a baby together. I know he feels the same way you do. He opens up to you, he literally treats you like his girlfriend, and the effort he’s putting in for the baby. He can say it’s for the baby, and it probably is, but it is also for you. Sure he has a girlfriend, but it’s only a matter of time before he realizes that he deserves the love you can give him,” your sister says.

Was Abby right, do you have feelings for Joe? Ever since you two met, Joe has always been a great friend and a sweet lover. As time went on and the more you two hooked up, it’s like he disappeared. He was still kind and gentle, but it was like he shut off. He would barely talk or open up to you, but that all stopped when you told him about the baby. He kept his promise to you about coming over twice a week; in fact, he was coming over more than twice a week. Even though this situation wasn’t ideal, it felt like you two were heading in the right direction. Even if you did have feelings for him, there was no way he felt the same for you.

Flashback to last week

“Ja’marr is Daddy’s best friend, but you can’t forget the others either. Justin, Sam, and Nick. You’ll get to see us all play football together, pumpkin,” Joe talked softly to your small bump. This was the fifth day he was over in a row.

Ever since you two went to the ultrasound together, Joe started to call the baby, ‘pumpkin.’ He said that the baby needed a nickname since you two still don’t know the gender.

“Mommy and Daddy are so excited to meet you. I can’t wait to-” Joe said, getting interrupted by the alarm on his phone. Joe sighed as he turned the alarm off, obviously disappointed. Joe sat up straight and looked at you, “Gotta go to practice.”

“Then go, we’ll be okay,” you smile, “You can come over after if you want.”

“I’ll have to see if Haley will let me,” Joe sighs, rubbing a hand over his face

“What do you mean let you,” you furrow your brows

“She doesn't like how much time we’ve been spending together, but she doesn't control me. I’m going to see my baby, and you, Y/n. She’s just going to have to accept that,” Joe said

A small smile pulled at your lips as you nodded, “Well, we’ll be happy to have you over any time. You need to get going though, Cincinnati needs their quarterback.”

Joe’s smile faltered at the mention of practice, making you raise an eyebrow. “Joe, it’ll be okay. Our pumpkin won’t be here for another 29 weeks. You have time to make it up to it.”

“It’s not that, Y/n. I’m just… nervous for practice, I guess,” Joe sheepishly smiled, “I know what people are saying about me and the injury. I just… I feel like I got this far for nothing. What if the people are right?”

You gave him a small smile, holding his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, “It’s okay to be nervous, Joe. I mean, you did have a season-ending injury last season, but you need to remember that you are Joe fucking Burrow. You can do anything, and I mean anything, you put your mind to. You rehabbed the wrist like an actual beast and it’s time to show the world what you can do.”

Joe pulled you into a tight hug, being careful of your bump. “Thank you,” he whispered against your ear.

“Go get em, Shiesty,” you giggle

End of flashback

“Abby, you’re delusional as hell. Enjoy your trashy TV show, love ya!” you say as you walk out of your apartment.

You wanted nothing more than for Joe to be yours, but that was so far out of reach that you shouldn't even dwell on it.

——

“Hey, Y/n,” Joe smiles as you meet the couple in the parking lot of Jeff Ruby’s.

“Hey, Joe,” you hug him as you can feel someone’s eyes shooting daggers at you.

“This is uh… Haley,” he said motioning towards the blonde woman.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, officially,” you smile, extending your hand out towards her

“Yeah, so nice,” she fake smiles, grabbing your hand and yanking you forward, nearly pulling you to the ground

“How about we go eat,” Joe says, trying to break the tension.

——

About 45 minutes later, Joe was laughing at something you said, while trying to not choke on his water.

You thought the evening was going nice, the three of you were exchanging small talk; well more like you and Joe were having a great conversation and Haley was just… there.

“Do you remember the one time we walked in on Ja’marr and one of his women of the month,” Joe laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. How could I forget? I’m like permanently traumatized,” you join Joe in laughing

All the laughing and giggling came to a halt when two hands smashed on the table, you two looked over to see Haley, smoke practically coming out of her ears.

“Joe, what the fuck are you doing,” she asked, obviously annoyed

“What do you mean,” Joe questioned

“Joe you dragged me here so that I would feel more comfortable with this hag moving in, but it is making me feel worse. All you two have done is talk and talk and talk to each other about something only you two would understand. I am your girlfriend Joe. I am the one you go home to. I am the one who is there for you. I get that it’s all exciting right now, she’s still relatively thin and beautiful, but wait until she blows up like a balloon and you want nothing to do with her, she rants before looking at you, “Y/n, I hope you know that once that baby gets here, he will want nothing to do with the baby. You’ll be all by yourself in our house. Which, that is if he doesn't kick you out.” She smiled evilly

The table fell quiet, neither of you wanting to make eye contact with one another. Even though her words were just simply out of rage, it didn't mean that they didn't hurt. You were so scared that Joe would stop caring about you and your baby. Apparently, by her rant, she feels the same way. Your eyes started to get misty from her raised voice, your hormones, and your fears.

“I’m… uh gonna go home,” you muttered out

“Y/n, don’t go,” Joe pleaded

“No, you two have your thing. It was stupid of me to come between you two,” you walk out of the restaurant, tears streaming down your face

Joe tried to take your hand, but you pushed it away. He turned back around to see Haley sitting there with a satisfied look on her face.

30 minutes later

When you got back home, tears were streaming down your face. You walk into an empty apartment, which means Abby must’ve left at some point. You put down your purse and take off your sandals, about to head upstairs to change when you hear a knock on the door.

You walk to the door, slowly opening it, shocked when you see Joe. You wipe the remaining tears off of your face before speaking up. “What are you doing-”

Joe cuts you off by putting both hands on either side of your face, backing you up a bit as he smashes his lips onto yours.

~ to be continued ~

part two is here!!

[morgana-larkin]

Hi hi! I wanna request for everyone’s favorite redhead, Melissa! (I definitely did not have a hot and steamy dream about this scenario at all) I have an idea of where after a hard week and the start of Abbott’s winter break, everyone goes to a strip club to let off some steam. At the strip club, our reader is a stripper that has a firefighter schtick, and Melissa’s attention is fully on her. Ava notices this and as an early Christmas gift, she gifts Melissa a private dance with the firefighter stripper, and maybe a few “extras” 😉. During the private dance, the reader reveals that they’re an actual firefighter which causes Melissa to get excited and starts talking about fire trucks before the reader shushes her and asks her if she’d like a tour of the firehouse someday, implying future smut.

and then maybe a part 2 of the firehouse smut where the reader has the firehouse empty for a night and invites Melissa over to give her that “special tour” which involves our stripper reader coming out in her full firefighter gear and having Melissa take it off of her, before revealing fire red lingerie under all that gear, along with using the fire pole as a stripper pole and then some smut inside the fire truck which I know Melissa would love

Anon, the next time you have a dream like this, please, invite me to your dream! Lol. But for real, this was a great prompt and of course I’ll write a part 2 with smut! Here’s part 1 of a little tease. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’m trying to write Worth It but I just did 12 hours on a set for a movie and was able to write this quickly. I’ll get through your prompts while trying to write Worth It. I love how 2 prompts are for drunk Mel! And I haven’t forgotten about Mine and Cool Your Fire!

Part 2

Calling 911

Warnings: references to smut

Words: 1.9k

It was the end of the day at Abbott and now the beginning of a well deserved Christmas break. The Abbott crew decided to go on together before having 2 weeks off. Due to it being a stressful week full of grading, kids not paying attention as they were excited for the break and just the usual craziness as usual, they agreed with Ava’s suggestion to go to a strip club together.

They got to the club while there was a stripper doing an angel theme strip dance. They got a table near the front and Ava got the first round of drinks for everyone. They were talking and enjoying their drinks when you came on and the song started. “Somebody better call 911, shawty fire burning on the dance floor, whoa!” The song flooded through the club and Melissa turned to face the dancer just as it started and she froze.

There you were in firefighter looking overalls with the suspenders, a red bra and a fake firefighter helmet. Melissa watched you, entranced, while you swung around the pole, dancing to the rhythm of the song.

Everyone saw Melissa so taken by the stripper and just watched her watch you. They were smiling as they always had a feeling that Melissa might play for both teams. But Ava being Ava, she of course had to meddle.

By the time the song was over and you walked off stage, Melissa turned her attention back to the table. “What?” She asked them all as they were all staring at her.

“You seem taken by that stripper.” Janine said with a smirk.

“She was doing a firefighter set, you know how much I love things about firefighters.” Melissa tries to defend herself.

“So it was only the fact that she was doing a firefighter set and nothing to do with the woman herself?” Barb asked her, already knowing the answer and knowing the lie that Melissa will say.

“Exactly.”

“So you wouldn’t be interested in the fact that I got you a private dance with her then?” Ava says and Melissa chokes and starts coughing on the sip she took.

“You what? When did you even do that?” Melissa asks in shock.

“When you were ogling her for like 3 minutes.” Ava says with a grin. “But hey, if you don’t want it then I’ll take it.” Ava says and goes to get up. Melissa reacts before thinking and grabs Ava’s wrist and pulls her back down.

“I- I didn’t say no, I was just surprised.” Melissa says. Surprised by her own actions.

“Then go get that dance.” Ava says and Melissa gets up with a sigh.

“Alright alright, I’m going.” Melissa tells her.

“Merry Christmas Schemmenti.” Ava tells her with a wave and Melissa flips her off.

Melissa walks to the room that Ava told her to go too and walks in. It was an average size room with a couch, a pole, a speaker and low lighting. She crosses the room to the couch and before she sits, you walk in.

“Well this is a nice surprise.” You say and she turns around. “Oh, very nice surprise.” You say when you see her face and you were able to make out the red hair when you entered. You see a small smile on her face at your compliment and she shook her head.

“I bet you say that to everyone.” She says to you.

“I actually don’t. In my defence though, it’s usually men.” You tell her and you see her tilt her head. You can’t see much else in the low lighting.

“You don’t like doing private dances for men.” She asks and you have to admit, talking with her is really nice.

“Not really, it’s the women that catch my interest.” You tell her. “Do you mind if I turn up the light a bit? I would like to see you.” You ask her.

“Ok, but I’ll warn you, I’m not young.” She tells you and you turn it up a bit and you’re finally able to see her face clearly.

“Wow.” You say a bit breathless. “You’re stunning.” You tell her and you can make out a blush in the lighting. She sees you in a short black dress and she takes a breath to cool herself down.

“Th-thank you. U-um my f-friend paid for me to have a private dance because I liked your firefighter set.” She stutters out and tries to change the subject.

“Really? A woman who is attracted to firefighters? That’s rare.” You tell her and walk closer to her.

“Y-ya, I love everything about it.” She tells you and sees you coming closer to her and she walks back. She hits the couch and falls on it. She looks up at you with wide eyes and her mouth open in shock.

You giggle at her reaction and you then lean down to her ear. “Did you not want a private dance?” You whisper in her ear then pull back. “I can do a lap dance or a pole dance. Whichever you prefer.” You ask her and she’s frozen in place.

“You- you can choose.” She squeaks out and you’re confused. Well that was new.

“What? No one has asked me to choose.” You tell her and she gulps. Normally you prefer the pole because it means you don’t have to be near them, but something about this woman piques your interest. Is it because she’s exactly your type or because she seems nervous or something else? You’ll never know.

You hit play from the remote in your hand that you grabbed when you walked in and a song starts to play. It’s the song Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls, a great burlesque group. You start at the pole but then make your way over to her lap. When the song is over, you’re straddling her lap and she’s panting heavily under you with wide eyes.

“You know, I’m actually a firefighter, that’s why I like doing a firefighter set.” You tell her and you think she stopped breathing.

“You are?” She asks you and you nod. You see her breathing even out quickly and a smile forms on her lips. “You know I wanted to be a firefighter, if I wasn’t a teacher then I would have been a firefighter. It runs in my family actually, I know all about it, I mean the Schemmenti’s love beating fires. And also-” She rambles and you put a finger over her mouth to stop her.

“You’re a Schemmenti?” You ask her and she nods. “Wow, your family is a legend.” You tell her and she blushes. “You know you’re cute.” You tell her and she smiles and looks down. “I don’t ever do this but how about we continue this private dance at the fire station another night?” You ask her and she beams.

“Really?” She asks and you nod.

“I can give you a private tour.” You tell her and she gets so excited that she hugs you.

“I would love that, both things.” She says and then remembers you’re only wearing a bra and underwear and she pulls back. “Sorry. But I would love a tour, and to continue the private dance.” She says and you laugh.

“Of course.” You tell her then you get off of her and put your dress back on. “I’ll see you later.” You tell her with a wink and then leave.

Melissa then thinks you never settled on a date or got your number and she frowns, was she played? She then gets up and exits the room. She sees her group of friends are still here and she makes a stop at the bar first. She’s waiting on her drink when a piece of paper slides to her. She looks over and sees it’s you.

At the table, Ava saw you approach Melissa and shushes everyone and then points. Everyone looks over to see what caught her interest and their jaws drop.

“Thought you might need this.” You tell her and she blushes and smiles before taking the piece of paper.

“Go Melissa!” Ava yells and you look over and see someone grab the woman who yelled and pulled her back down.

“Melissa Schemmenti?” You say and she nods.

“That’s me.” She says and you smile.

“What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Mine’s y/n y/l/n. Pleasure to formally meet you.” You tell her and you shake hands. Before letting go of her hand, you pull her hand a bit and kiss her cheek and then you leave. You turn around to see her stunned. “Don’t be a stranger.” You say and then go to the back of the club.

Melissa smiles then touches where you kissed her cheek. She has a second of content and peace and then she gets ambushed by the crew. They bombard her with questions and she doesn’t give either of them an answer. She just looks at the paper: for that tour xo . You wrote, followed by your number. Melissa smiles the entire time at the strip club after that.

“Did you hit it?” Ava asks and Melissa snaps her head to her and glared briefly before smiling again.

“Nope.” She says and Ava sighs. “Better, got a firefighter’s number.” She says and Jacob squeals.

“OMG you should text her! Like right now!” Jacob says with excitement.

“What? She just gave me her number half an hour ago. That’s way too soon.” Melissa says.

“I don’t know, it looked like she really wanted a text from you immediately.” Janine says and everyone agrees. They then try and push her to text you.

“Ok ok, I’ll text her.” Melissa finally gives in and gets her phone out. She puts in your number and then freezes. “What do I text her?” She says aloud and Barb hides a snicker, Melissa is rarely nervous and she’s nervous right now.

“You could do a simple hi and your name so she knows who it is.” Gregory suggests casually.

No no, u gotta flirt girl.” Ava pipes up with a smile.

“And say what Ava?” Janine asks, and then the group discusses what Melissa should say.

Melissa was half listening to what everyone was saying, but she trusts her gut and sends you a message.

Melissa: Hey, it’s Melissa. From what I’ve already seen, that private tour is gonna be great 😉

Melissa sends it then waits for a reply, it doesn’t take long until her phone chimes with a notification.

You: Hey Melissa! Oh you know it! I'm just as good with a hose as I am with a pole

You: wait a minute, that doesn’t sound right

You: that sounded much better in my head

Melissa: 😆

Melissa: I know what you meant. Flirting is not your strong suit is it?

You: not really

You: much better at taming fires…

Melissa: can’t wait for you to tame me

You: I think you’re probably one fire I can never fully tame

Melissa: that’s true

Melissa smiles from her phone as she has a conversation with you. Unknown to her, everyone stopped arguing and was just watching her blush and smile while texting you.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

Let me know if you want to be added!

[makeste]

Plus One For All

so guys. can we talk about how there’s somebody chilling out inside of Katsuki’s mind who’s not supposed to be there.

hello there Mister All Might Vestige sir. you should not exist, just FYI. you’re not some Nighteye-type plot hallucination. because if you were, you would not be appearing here as Cloud Might, a version of yourself whom Katsuki has never met and has no frame of reference for. ergo he did not imagine you. ergo you are, in fact, real.

which means Katsuki has One For All.

because that’s the only way he could have a Vestige -- which is indisputably what this is -- inside of him. he has OFA. so. where did he get it. how does he have it. and why is it only making its presence known now.

let’s discuss.

okay so I’m going to try and lay this all out as clearly as possible while also attempting to be as succinct as I can. but knowing me, I’m probably going to wind up sacrificing the latter in pursuit of the former. I’ll do my best though. here goes.

1. Heroes Rising is canon.

which is a fact we’ve recently been reminded of not once, but twice -- first with the appearance of Katsuma and Mahoro in chapter 405, and then in chapter 406 with the “Bakugou no Kacchan” callback. the timing of this almost certainly isn’t coincidental. Horikoshi wants this to be fresh in our minds.

mind you, it is extremely unusual for movies, even technically!canon ones, to actually be relevant to the plot. but BnHA may be one of the few exceptions. we’ve already seen movie 1 impact the series both with Star & Stripe’s backstory, and with Deku’s new gauntlets. so there’s precedent, and it’s something I am paying very close attention to.

2. Deku giving OFA to Bakugou is canon.

just in case anyone here hasn’t yet seen or been spoiled for Heroes Rising, that is in fact what happens in that film! so yeah, that certainly seems like an extremely relevant detail right about now.

3. we never found out why and how Deku got OFA back at the end of the movie.

okay so I was looking for a clip to link before we discuss this next part, but I unfortunately couldn’t find one that hadn’t been edited to avoid copyright issues, so you’ll just have to make do with this.

skip ahead to about 7:10 for the relevant part. for the purposes of this theory, we’re just going to ignore everything All Might says here, because tbh he has no fucking clue what’s actually going on and is just guessing wildly lol. however, I do want you to take note of one thing which will be important later. and that’s the fact that, when OFA “returns” to Deku’s body, it’s only his body which starts glowing, and notably not Kacchan’s. the latter just keeps lying there unglowingly. nothing to indicate any kind of transfer is actually happening between him and Deku, in other words.

moving on.

4. OFA and AFO are probably the same quirk.

as summarized here and here. which is relevant because if they are the same quirk, or close to it, then OFA can most likely do anything AFO can do. so file that away for later.

5. AFO was able to split his quirk and give it to Tomura while still keeping a piece of it for himself.

what’s more, he was able to do the same with Garaki/Ujiko’s quirk, and presumably other quirks as well. while it’s possible that this quirk duplication has nothing to do with AFO and is simply something Garaki was able to figure out using ~*~Science~*~, I think it’s more likely that the two of them used AFO’s quirk in some way to accomplish this feat. particularly since Tomura not only received AFO, but a bunch of its stored up quirkdata as well, such as the information stored in Ragdoll’s stolen Search quirk.

6. OFA responds to Deku’s feelings and desires.

or at least this is the case according to Banjou in chapter 213. recall this interesting conversation on how Deku first activated Blackwhip.

he was thinking that he wanted to capture Monoma, and so OFA obediently activated his “capture Monoma” quirk. despite him being unaware he even had said quirk. it responded to his need, even though he wasn’t consciously trying to activate anything.

now then, let’s revisit that scene in Heroes Rising one more time.

7. during the climax of Heroes Rising, Deku was NOT thinking, “I need to give OFA to Kacchan.”

here’s the scene one more time for reference. this time you’re gonna want to skip to about 3:57.

here’s where we are going to get extremely technical, because this scene right here is the key to everything. Deku’s lines in this scene are, and I quote: “a way we can protect [everyone]... there’s just one way...!” but he very notably does not specify exactly what that “one way” is.

until we get to this scene a minute or so later, which spells it out for us very clearly.

two One For Alls. as in, “with two One For Alls, we could win this battle and save everyone.”

that’s what he was thinking at the moment of the “transfer.” NOT, “give OFA to Kacchan.” but, “we need two One For Alls.”

which, I think, may have made all the difference.

8. OFA created a copy of itself to share with Kacchan, so that both of them could have OFA and use the two OFAs to defeat Nine.

let’s recap. OFA is AFO. AFO can clone itself. so it stands to reason that OFA can presumably clone itself as well. and that’s exactly what Deku wanted to do. make a second One For All.

he didn’t know that he could do that. but as previously established in the Blackwhip incident, OFA is more than capable of making its own executive decisions in key moments just like this in order to help him out.

which would mean that what we saw at the end of Heroes Rising was not OFA being transferred from Bakugou back over to Deku. it was actually just Deku’s OFA briefly self-activating (possibly in response to his delirious apology to All Might -- kind of a “no worries bro, you’ve still got your quirk actually, so go back to sleep and stop stressing over it” type of thing). and Kacchan’s OFA doing... absolutely nothing. it didn’t actually transfer back into Deku. it didn’t actually go anywhere.

let me repeat that: it didn’t actually go anywhere.

in other words, Kacchan still has OFA. and has had it ever since Heroes Rising. he just didn’t realize it. and neither did anybody else.

9. Kacchan’s OFA went dormant once Nine was defeated.

okay, so. remember all of this exposition from chapter 304?

basically, if someone who already has a quirk receives OFA, using it will slowly destroy their body until it kills them. the Vestiges learned this from All Might while he was researching the past generations of OFA in chapter 241, incidentally. Heroes Rising takes place right around this same time (immediately following MVA if I recall). so by the time the film’s climax rolled around, the Vestiges would have known that giving OFA to Kacchan could have devastating consequences down the line if they did not take action immediately after the fight.

so they did.

once Nine was defeated, the Vestiges shut the whole thing down. the crisis was averted, and they no longer had need of a second OFA. they have this boy who is way too similar to Deku in terms of his willingness to put himself in harm’s way in order to achieve his goals. and they absolutely do not want any harm befalling this boy. more on that momentarily.

so they go dark. and they even seal his memory so that he’s no longer aware of even having the quirk. they are essentially in sleep mode. and if circumstances hadn’t eventually become desperate enough to force their hand, they might have remained inactive for the rest of Katsuki’s life.

now, you might be wondering to yourself, “why is OFA willing to go to such unusual lengths in order to protect Katsuki?” and well, the answer to that is pretty simple.

10. Kacchan does not have the same version of OFA as Deku.

Deku is ninth gen. Katsuki, however, is tenth gen. which means that his version of OFA has one additional Vestige. a Vestige whose presence immediately explains why OFA is so goddamn determined to protect him at all costs.

:’)

long story short, while Deku’s version of OFA has proven itself all too willing to enable him in his increasingly suicidal mission, Katsuki’s version of OFA is very much a different story, on account of it being under the management of what I’m guessing is the most willful Vestige ever to exist. and said management being just the slightest bit unhinged when it comes to Katsuki’s safety in particular. seriously, you can’t tell me this is not exactly how a Deku!Vestige would behave. “oh hell no. no OFA for you!! and no memories either, because you can’t be trusted, goddammit. we never should have done this. what the hell were we thinking. if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

so yeah. dormant.

right up until they literally couldn’t afford to be anymore.

11. OFA can self-activate in moments of crisis to protect its user.

Sports Festival. chapter 33. Deku vs. Shinsou.

aw yeah. it’s all coming together.

12. OFA reactivated itself in order to save Katsuki’s life.

I would now like to briefly draw your attention to this scene from chapter 405, in which Edgeshot explains how Katsuki was finally saved. please note my man is very clear that he did not restart Katsuki’s heart himself. he was basically just performing quirk CPR up until Katsuki’s own quirk returned him to life apropros of nothing.

“what brought you back... was the power you’ve honed.”

except... that should have been impossible. because Katsuki was dead. meaning he should not have been able to activate his quirk on his own, on account of the whole “being dead” thing.

however, if he by chance had a quirk with just enough of a mind of its own to activate in critical situations in order to help its user. situations like being forced under mind control. or, perhaps, being stabbed through the heart. well then. that would certainly go a long way towards explaining all of this.

and oh hey, when exactly was it that we saw this guy, again?

oh? it happened at the exact moment when his heart was stabbed through? you don’t say. well that certainly is interesting.

in summary:

Deku cloned his quirk in Heroes Rising and gave Kacchan a copy of OFA. owing to the hyperprotective Deku!Vestige inside Kacchan’s copy of OFA, it shut itself down once Nine was defeated, and all of Katsuki’s memories of having OFA were deliberately wiped, or sealed away. OFA itself remained inactive until TomurAFO stabbed Katsuki through the heart, at which point OFA was forced to reactivate itself to save his life. which it did, by forcibly restarting his heart.

that’s it. no idea how close to the money any of this is, but I think it would explain most of the lingering mysteries and questions about what exactly is going on with Katsuki. and I’ll throw in one last observation as well -- Katsuki has a nine in his name (BaKUgou), but not a ten. which I know sort of contradicts what I was saying earlier about him being the tenth gen, lol. but he both is and isn’t. if Deku split his quirk, Kacchan would in theory receive everything that’s currently in Deku’s quirk right now, and that includes Deku’s own power that he’s been adding to the mix. so he’d still have the Deku!Vestige. but he’s also still ninth gen, because he and Deku are sharing that distinction now. or at least I think the argument could be made at any rate.

so yeah. I’ve been obsessing over all of this for the past few days lol. what do you guys think?

[meet-the-coffee]

Tf2 McDonalds Headcanons: Coffee edition...

So, somebody posted a template thingy and I replied to that post. Here's my full thing with my own template made lmao,,

Link to inspiriational and original post here

So, my headcanons are like this:

Heavy:

I view Heavy as a pretty serious guy so I think he can go a little further up with Medic, yet not all the way still. He can once in a while "oke oke. Heavy could go for burger. Let's eat burger." And then chuckle. But he's very much born and raised with responsibility with his mom and sisters. He's responsible and nurturing. That is his nature behind that solid mountain of a man. (Read: official comics) This man starts ordering and he doesn't stop ordering /hj,, no but fr I think like, he, alone, orders for 3 people to eat for himself. The rest stares in horror and/or awe.

Medic:

Medic is peak "ve havf food at home. Quiet down nowv, QUIEEET."

Engie:

Engie should be middle between "we have food at home" and the chanting. I think he's the mom of the group a lot of the times (cooks and bakes for the team in my hc) but I think he would very much also like to bring the "kids" to mcdonalds sometimes because why not!! So mid right it is. Probably orders some burger and a coffee. Sometimes a water or sooometimes some soda.

Demoman:

Demoman is a drunk. Drunks love fat food. Him and Soldier are dumbasses and I view them as being quite child-like like this. Demo and Soldier are absolutely chanting for burgers. But also, I think Demo is just a sliiight bit more responsible (he's mama's boy!!) Demo orders a wholeass meal ok. Something with lots of meat and bacon and cheese. Drink? Bro drinks beer. He tries to order a beer. He does not get a beer. He shrugs and chugs the beer in his hand.

Soldier:

On that note, I see Soldier as a sliiight bit more possible to go HELL YEA BURGERS, drive the fking bus in via drive-through and go "FIVE CHEESEBURGERS AND A COKE. A REEAAL AMERICAN COKE... YEAHAH." And then eat all of the burgers for himself. He's not rude he's just oblivious lmao,, not many braincells scrambling around in there.

Pyro:

Scout and Pyro are absolutely screaming for mcDonk. Pyro wants happy meal. He fucking loves the toys. He collects them, even. Keeps him occupied in the car lmao... he always orders a milkshake. Maybe strawberry flavour.

Scout:

Scout orders a 20-box of chicken nuggets (like me!!) Or the big McShare-box with different stuff like chili cheese tops, nuggets and chicken clubs, (also like me. We both audhd as hell ok) and always a coke and/or a milkshake. (Sometimes he wants both!!)

Spy:

Spy doesn't give a fuck, he gets a coffee. He just needs a coffee to be able to withstand the drive home with the bunch of toddlers in the backseat. Only chance they get to order something is if Scout bounces in (after experience from first or second time) to go "AAAND AY UHHHHHH--". Spy scoffs in annoyance and tells him to sit down and shut up. Scout does neither. He wants chicken nuggets. But first few times, Spy really just sighs at the chanting, throws his finished cig out of the crack in the window, and exits the highway for mcdonalds. And then he just goes "one black coffee please." And they go "anything else?" And he just goes "Mercí, that'll be all." And start driving for the next window before they even tell him to (more to do so before anyone interrupts and protests).

Sniper:

Sniper is below middle on the left line - between . On occasion he's like "fk sake." And goes for a coffee and probably elbows Scout in his possessions before he can do what he does to Spy. And then after paying and driving off with his coffee, he just coldly goes "Like I said. We have food at home." Like Spy, he just needs a coffee to survive the drive home. And not get an impulse to drive straight off the road into the cliffside.

[Bows bows]

Thankuthanku, that'll be all !!

[xiakyo]

﹒ꪆ୧﹒If he could. He would﹒ꪆ୧﹒

── TWISTED WONDERLAND X READER

( RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS. AZUL ASHENGROTTO. EPEL FELMIER. )

DISCLAIMERS. This has been somewhat proofread. Not edited. Allusions to fragile masculinity ( Epel's part ). Allusions to poor self-care ( Azul's part ). Gender neutral reader. Reader is not defined by gender or any name in this.

WORDS. 582

- - -

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS ++ royal treatment

Riddle is the type of guy who would open the door for you. Whenever you have classes together, he would often walk with you to class. Don't expect hand holding with him, how scandalous. Riddle will open the door for you like any refined gentleman would do.

If you identify as a girl, guy or any other gender identity, it doesn't matter. He will open the door for you anytime, he knows you are capable of doing it, but you must know about the germs people transfer around! He simply can't stand the thought of his rose falling sick when he could easily have prevented it.

That's not the only thing though, if you have to sit somewhere, for example a restaurant or a cafe or anything else, if he is able to, he will pull out your chair for you. Whenever the both of you meet, he will always kiss the back of your hand.

﹒ꪆ୧﹒

He always makes sure to accompany you back to the hall of mirrors whenever you go out together. If you happen to be in Heartslabyul, he will escort you to your room.

If you do any of these things for him when he least expects it, his face will be as red as his hair. You might even find him stuttering and failing to keep his composure.

!  !  !

AZUL ASHENGROTTO ++ (sugar daddy) pays for you

Oh my! Azul Ashengrotto doing something for somebody without wanting something in return? How absurd! Azul thinks of you as his precious pearl, someone who is priceless.

He adores you. He will always pull out his card before you can, oh, and if you think to try to pay? He's already paid. How? You needn't question it.

Azul likes bringing you to nice places, he knows you can pay for yourself, but come on now. You deserve something nice after all the stress you go through, soo, won't you at least let him treat you?

You always take care of him, making sure he drinks water, doesn't push himself too hard, makes sure he eats and drinks the proper amount needed.

He isn't sure what else he can do to repay you, so, this is the only way he can think of. Just let him do this one thing, yeah?

!  !  !

EPEL FELMIER ++ holds your stuff for you

Epel wants to be more masculine, it's well known. He hates being looked down upon by other people for being small or have feminine looks.

But, he did hear from some senior… Ahem, Lilia, ahem. That the manliest thing a man could do, was hold their significant others items for them.

Even if you are capable of it yourself, Epel will insist on carrying your items, anything. Your books, your bag(s), anything you're carrying with you out in the open.

Huh? What do you mean he doesn't need to? He wants to. At first, he does it to appear more masculine, yes, but later on, he does it because he genuinely does want to, not even for the need of being masculine.

I mean, you assure him. A lot. That you love him for him. That he doesn't need to do anything to prove himself, that he's already a man and he shouldn't care what other people might think of him, so.. At least let him do this as a small appreciation.

[writerquil]

hi! i was wondering if you could write headcannons or a oneshot of falling asleep with noah in the same bed !!?!?!? fluff ofc and gn!reader (total drama)

Literal Sleeping with Noah Oneshot (FLUFF)

You'd be forced to sleep in Noah's bunk because there'd been an overestimated amount of contestants. You'd insisting laying on the floor to Chris far beforehand but there was no talking that man down.

You asked him anyway, borderline begging Chris to just sleep on the floor. In complete honesty, Noah half scared you, his witty comments were a slap straight to the face and he was shockingly quick with them too to a terrifying degree.

Once you were sitting at the campfire together, a few of the others were playfully teasing Noah so you decided to join in and quip an innocent joke. Noah must've been more offended by the teasing than you anticipated him to be and replied with; "At least my aunt isn't a home wrecker who tried to hook up with my dad and almost succeeded."

Everyone on the campfire casually laughed at the small joke and Noah went back absentmindedly to his book. The insult was probably meant to be a quick bite back, a random spiel regarding a ridiculous family situation to top the snapback with a hint of humour.

But that did actually happen to you. You were gobsmacked.

You never insulted him again.

And luckily for you, Noah heard the entire pleading session to Chris regarding the bunking situation and rolled his eyes as he passed.

"Yeah because I want to share my minuscule bed with you too." He snipped sarcastically.

"I didn't-!" You protested. "-It's not you! I just don't want to be squashed!"

"Well too bad you two!" Chris proclaimed. "You two are the most shipped contestants, imagine you both being in close proximity, picture my ratings!"

Most shipped contestants? Had you even interacted with Noah beyond a few challenges? Who knew? The shippers in the Total Drama fandom were bound to do what they want.

"I'd rather picture Duncan's ass than picture even a glimpse of your ratings." Noah quipped back.

"Hey!" Chris protested. "We don't pay the editing team enough to edit your constant cursing out Noah!"

Noah's expression fixed back into his regular deadpan, stalking over towards the cabin. You wanted to argue more with Chris and plead your case further but it was clear he wasn't intending on budging so you reluctantly trailed after Noah.

Nudging the cabins door open, you saw Noah already squashed up against the wall, reluctantly creating room for you. You considered internally sleeping on the floor anyway, but knowing Chris he'd probably get revenge one way or another if you didn't listen to him.

So hesitantly you joined him on the bunk, laying on the very edge of the bed, taking up as little space as you possibly could.

Noah sighed and for a few moments you were positive he was about to make another sarcastic remark but then the sigh was followed by hushed snores and slowed breathing.

He'd really fallen asleep that quickly?

You guessed that would make things easier for you to sleep yourself but just as you turned over suddenly cold hands clamped over your wrist and yanked you backwards.

Turning, you realized Noah was gripping you in his sleep, his head lolled forward drowsily knocking against your collarbone and he murmured something intelligible before falling into more snores.

You stared, unsure how to react at this point. For a few moments you attempted to untangle yourself but Noah's grip on your wrist was way too firm for somebody sleeping with zero arm strength and you were afraid that if you retreated now, if Noah's head stopped leaning on you, he'd wake.

So you settled, relaxing and staring up at the bunk above. Noah's fingers cooling the skin around your wrist.

Oh well. The fandom would have a field day off of this one.

[adiluv-moved]

☆ ､､ 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 !

experimenting a bit more with my layouts! not too visible with this very simple post but lmk what you think! anyway, foçalors seems like an interesting character and i absolutely love her design, so... hope you enjoy! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

692 words. written before 4.2, not edited.

lady furina who first encounters you during a civil affairs case, sitting with her head resting in her palm as she'd been forced to watch the owner of a small fruit stand claiming you'd stolen from them. although she'd always had a penchant for the dramatic, she hardly considered three measly apples to be worth her time, such small issues being utterly and totally devoid of the theatrics she drew her entertainment from. had neuvillette not been so adamant in her appearance—claiming it a part of her 'duty' as the hydro archon—she doubted that she would've even made an appearance. alas, he was, and she'd all but resigned herself to her fate.

lady furina who ends up picking up an interest in you as the proceedings continue, clearly noticing the not-so-subtle glances that you send her way. At first, she doesn't pay much mind to it, though her curiosity is quickly piqued when she notices the barely concealed look of awe and adoration within your gaze. it sends her reeling almost instantaneously, posture straightening up completely as a smile graces her features. proud, as she is, she can't help but find your attention amusing, ego stroked by the undivided focus you keep on her. as you should, of course—somebody so pure and elegant deserves it—but she can't deny that your decision to ignore the accusations being levied against you certainly is silly.

lady furina who's hardly suprised when the oratrice confirms your guilt, nearly letting out a laugh at the confused look on your face. she ends up stepping in to change your punishment, noting that it'd be a waste of resources to even attempt fining you when you weren't even able to pay for fruit. instead, your crimes would be repayed by your assistance to the court, a decision that the masses would report as being 'undeniably wise'. while she lives for their praise and has absolutely zero intent to correct them… it was really just an excuse for her to get to see you again.

lady furina who, while noted by neuvillette as being notoriously ꒰and irritatingly꒱ distant in the upkeep of the nation, is now magically more involved. while he does maintain some initial speculation about her motivations, they're easily confimed once he takes note of her desire to make your accquaintance. besides the small setbacks that occur whenever she gets derailed in an attempt to impress you ꒰poor thing becomes the resident third wheel꒱, he's genuinely pleased about her heightened activity within national affairs. The weather becomes warmer as a result, with many citizens taking the opportunity to go diving.

as such, what was supposed to be a short time working beneath the archon eventually becomes a full-time job once the hydro ludex himself ends up recuiting you. ignoring your own personal desires to remain in close proximity to the archon—an honor within its own right—the pay is ludicrously good, more mora than you'd even know what to do with. you'd have to be a fool to decline.

lady furina who would never stoop down to the level of admitting feelings for a mere mortal, instead opting for the more 'dignified' approach of following you around like a lost puppy as often as possible. neuvillette, for the sake of prolonging her interest within the issues of the nations, is roped in to play the part of a middle man—much to his disconcertion. he ends up accidentally admitting the archon's sentiments to you in an attempt to figure out whether or not you reciprocate, nearly giving the god a heart attack as the words slip past his lips.

very luckily, her rising panic is quelled by the ectsatic look on your face, the sudden clicking of her shoes alerting the pair of you as she rushes away to celebrate. you'll have to be the one to go to her, unfortunately, and while she does attempt to squeeze a confession out of you… well, she'd rather just go ahead and skip to the part where you ask for the honor to be hers. she'll make you squirm a little, but don't worry. she has every intent to agree.

i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!

[cashmakozume]

— seeing double

ᯓ m.list

␥ introductions (twin telepathy)

⭑.ᐟ warnings: swearing, sibling fights, characters saying 'kms', harsh banter

kageyama yn

— a first year film production major, constantly competing to make sure she graduates with honours

"you want to be partners for this? no thanks, i can score on my own."

kageyama tobio

— a first year music major, stealing hearts with every song he releases

"my songs sound good? that means a lot to me."

hinata shoyo

— a first year sports psychology major, somehow passes every module despite skipping classes to sleep away the party fatigue

"ooo, there's a party? count me in."

sugawara koushi

— a third year communications major, wants to fucking quit but it's his last year so he has to thug it out

"can i just pay somebody to write this essay? yeah yeah, i'll use my brain."

kuroo tetsurou

— a third year marketing major, believes that he is just learning methods of manipulation

"wanna bet i'll sell this place out? get your wallet ready."

hitoka yachi

— a first year visual communication major, second guessing all her assignments but scoring every single time

"wait did i read the brief wrong? i think i'm right though."

the groupchats

彡 sugawara grew up being neighbours with the twins, and they look up to him as a older brother (miwa treats him like he's part of the family)

彡 yachi lives at home with her mother, not wanting to leave her alone (also bc she can help her with her assignments but don't tell her lecturers)

彡 yn loves to attend her senior's short film premieres, so sugawara introduced her to kuroo who proudly took charge of all the marketing for the student films in school.

彡 yn edited all their contact pictures to have ribbons bc she feels like it's cute

彡 yn journals to procrastinate her school assignments and gave all of them a scrapbook to start journaling

彡 sugawara only has one page filled and it's just demonic drawings bc he felt a sense of impending doom after hearing an email notification from school

彡 all the first years met during the orientation camp they had over the holidays, and they clicked right away (sugawara and kuroo were somehow part of the committee that ran the camp)

miyako talks

— how are we feeling about this!! it adds so much character to them and i feel it rounds them out more!! let me know your thoughts!

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ taglist [open]

— @staygoldsquatchling02 @garfieldissocool @krak-jj @yuminako @punkhazardlaw @lacunaanonymoused @bbybibi @spikeandset @theviperess @whosmarjj @froyaoya

[ernmark]

I just stumbled across somebody saying how editing their own novel was too exhausting, and next time they'll run it through Grammerly instead.

For the love of writing, please do not trust AI to edit your work.

Listen. I get it. I am a writer, and I have worked as a professional editor. Writing is hard and editing is harder. There's a reason I did it for pay. Consequently, I also get that professional editors can be dearly expensive, and things like dyslexia can make it difficult to edit your own stuff.

Algorithms are not the solution to that.

Pay a newbie human editor. Trade favors with a friend. Beg an early birthday present from a sibling. I cannot stress enough how important it is that one of the editors be yourself, and at least one be somebody else.

Yourself, because you know what you intended to put on the page, and what is obviously counter to your intention.

The other person, because they're going to see the things that you can't notice. When you're reading your own writing, it's colored by what you expect to be on the page, and so your brain will frequently fill in missing words or make sense of things that don't actually parse well. They're also more likely to point out things that are outside your scope of knowledge.

Trust me, human editors are absolutely necessary for publishing.

If you convince yourself that you positively must run your work through an algorithm before submitting to an agent/publisher/self-pub site, do yourself and your readers a massive favor: get at least two sets of human eyeballs on your writing after the algorithm has done its work.

Because here's the thing:

AI draws from whatever data sets it's trained on, and those data sets famously aren't curated.

You cannot trust it to know whether that's an actual word or just a really common misspelling.

People break conventions of grammar to create a certain effect in the reader all the time. AI cannot be relied upon to know the difference between James Joyce and a bredlik and an actual coherent sentence, or which one is appropriate at any given part of the book.

AI picks up on patterns in its training data sets and imitates and magnifies those patterns-- especially bigotry, and particularly racism.

AI has also been known to lift entire passages wholesale. Listen to me: Plagiarism will end your career. And here's the awful thing-- if it's plagiarizing a source you aren't familiar with, there's a very good chance you wouldn't even know it's been done. This is another reason for other humans than yourself-- more people means a broader pool of knowledge and experience to draw from.

I know a writer who used this kind of software to help them find spelling mistakes, didn't realize that a setting had been turned on during an update, and had their entire work be turned into word salad-- and only found out when the editor at their publishing house called them on the phone and asked what the hell had happened to their latest book. And when I say 'their entire work', I'm not talking about their novel-- I'm talking about every single draft and document that the software had access to.

[myemotionalsupportcharacters]

Somebody I Used to Know

Abby Anderson X Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: smut, trauma, implied PTSD

Friends to Enemies to Lovers Arc

A/n: did this turn out three times longer than I meant it to be? Yes. Is it edited? Barely. Enjoy!

It had been years now since Salt Lake, but some things hadn’t changed.

Abby still avoided you in the halls, had you assigned to patrols she didn’t want to go on, glared you down in the canteen as you made your way to their table. Having a sworn enemy is hard when you share the same friend group.

You had been thick as thieves growing up. Abby’s dad had become yours when you turned up at the hospital running from a group of bad guys that had managed to kill your parents before you slipped away. You had begun to show signs of starvation, bloody and bruised, clutching a large knife with both hands as soldiers had to subdue you to get you inside.

When you woke up, she was there: changing the wash cloth on your head, all but forcing a glass of water down you as they tried to break your fever. Inseparable since that moment, you did everything together. You found his body together.

She wouldn’t let you go when they dragged you out of the room and onto a truck. Sobbing, pounding her fists into your back as you helped them drag her away.

In the back of the truck, red rimmed eyes and a firm scowl, she looked up at you.

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to find him, and I’m going to make him pay.” Your throat constricted, chest burned, and all you could do was nod and clutch her tightly to your chest.

It was a few days later when she brought it up again. Laying in sleeping bags on a hard concrete floor, she rolled over to you.

“Y/N, you awake?” You rolled over to face her, barely illuminated by the moonlight breaking through the rotting roof panels. “I was serious. I’m going to track him down, and I’m going to kill him. You’ll come with me, right?”

“Abby, I miss him so much.” Tears filled your eyes, tipping over the edge and trailing at an awkward angle down your face. “I don’t know if I could do that. I don’t think he would want that for you…” she rolled over in her bag before you could finish, face hardened.

“Fine. I’ll do it myself.”

She didn’t talk to you again, betrayed by her closest confidant. How could you not see that this was her only option? Her only way to heal, to honour him?

For the first year, you approached her in the halls, included her in conversation, and was always met with cold silence and a flat glare. She slipped even further away when she started dating Owen. You had always known they would end up together at some point, but you couldn’t have imagined how insufferable he would become when they did.

Every opportunity he had his hands on her, poking and teasing, whispering in her ear. You watched as she swooned and giggled like a little girl, turning away from the sight and doing your best to ignore them. The resentment grew. It wasn’t just him anymore, it was her too. She had replaced you, with him.

Then came the Bonfire Incident (as it was known in the group). You had been buzzing about it for a month. Isaac had finally given the go ahead for a small celebration for the patrol squads after the new territory was secured. You would christen the new ground with a good ol’ fashioned bonfire, complete with barbecue and bootleg liquor.

The best part, Lexi was going. You had a small crush on her, and had heard through a mutual friend that she thought you were pretty. You had high hopes. All hopes were confirmed when she dragged you off to a dark section of trees, toting a bottle of smuggled whiskey she found on patrol. You drank, flirted and eventually, she had you pinned against a tree, tongue in your mouth and a hand down your pants.

“Fuck, yes, there.” You panted, leaning your head back against the tree as she dug two fingers into just the right spot and ground the heel of her hand against your throbbing clit. “Shit, so close.” Her lips dragged across your collarbone, and up your neck. A rustle caught your attention, and you tipped your head to the side, catching Abby sneaking between the trees. She stopped, holding your eye contact, expression switching quickly from caught to determined. Her jaw tightened and twitched, thick arms folding across her chest as she watched the scene unfold.

You held her gaze, letting out one final moan as you contracted around Lexi’s fingers, cumming so hard it took your breath away and made your toes tingle. Abby never looked away. Lexi moaned into your neck.

“So fuckin tight, doll. Bet you taste as sweet as you sound.” You looked around as she gently pulled her fingers from you, leaving you empty and pulsing. She brought her fingers up to your mouth, and your jaw dropped open. She placed them gently on your tongue, and you lapped up your own juices. “You’re so fucking hot.” She pulled her fingers away and pressed a quick hot kiss to your lips.

“What do you say we finish this later?” You asked, pulling away.

“Whatever you say, hun. You coming?” She pulled the whiskey back up to her lips, taking a swig.

“Just gonna straighten myself out.” Lexi winked, walking away. Once she was far enough, you turned to face Abby still leaning against the tree.

Abby stepped back out from the tree she had taken cover behind.

“The fuck was that?”

“Aw, Abby, Owen not taking care of you?” Abby let out a mocking laugh.

“I meant your choice in partner. Seriously? Lexi?”

“What’s wrong with Lexi?” You defended, folding your own arms over your chest.

“Nothing, nothing.” Abby held her hands up. “Just thought you had better taste than that.”

“Since when did my taste in women have anything to do with you, Anderson? Especially considering your own clear lack of judgement.” Abby’s face hardened.

“Fuck you.”

“You wish you could, Anderson. I’m just not sure you could keep up.” You pushed off the tree, reaching down to zip up your pants as you stalked back to the fire, leaving her in the dark.

You only found out the next morning that Owen had broken things off three days prior.

You felt awful, but pushed it down. She had spent the past couple years treating you like shit, and the one time you returned the favour, you suddenly felt guilty?

You shook it off, and returned to the normal routine. Until today.

You headed to the armoury, opening your locker and pulling out a slightly battered sniper rifle, a 9mm, and restocking your pockets with ammo. Pulling on your pack, you headed out back and hopped onto your assigned truck. You pulled a small book out your sack, and waited as everyone got loaded on.

It was tradition by now, everyone had learned you didn’t partake in the pre-shit show banter and chatter. You read, you shot, and then you chilled.

“The fuck is this?” You didn’t look up when you heard her voice. “No, Manny she shouldn’t be here.” You heard shuffling as Manny pulled Abby aside and talked her down. A couple minutes later she hopped onto the back of the truck and sat as far down the bench as possible.

“Apparently I’m covering your ass today.” Abby grunted, and you flipped to the next page. Tony chuffed, and looked over at Abby.

“She doesn’t talk before runs. Or during actually.”

“The fuck…” You tuned out Abby grumbling, zoning into your book until you felt Manny clap you on the shoulder.

“It’s time.” You nodded, stowing your book and standing. You followed him into the building, ignoring the gunshots that covered your entrance. You made your way to rooftop, Abby moving silently in your wake. Busting the door open, you quickly made your way to the edge, and began setting up the rifle. Abby stuck by the door, and you let out a chuff of your own.

“Heights.” You remembered. “Are you going to be able to do this?” You called to her.

“I’m fine. Worry about yourself.” Abby turns her back, focusing on the doorway.

Half an hour later and the street below was littered with corpses of runners and Scars alike. The Scars had come first, pushed out of hiding by the runners, all part of Isaac’s brilliant plan. The silencer on sniper mostly concealed your location, Abby had been stationed just incase any managed to slip through the building clearing or the first defence line. You had spent the whole time with your eye to the scope, all other sounds or distractions tuned out.

“All clear, fuck!” Manny came to a halt at the doorway. You hauled yourself up from the ground, disassembling the rifle, and packing it back up. You turned to see the pile of bodies Abby had left. Three scar, one much larger than the others, and five clickers. Abby was sat leaning against an air duct, rewrapping the bandages around her knuckles and wrist, a deep gouge oozing blood down the left side of her face.

“You’re welcome.” She grunts in your direction, standing and grabbing her rucksack.

“Thanks.” You returned, straight faced.

Abby stares at you for a moment, then laughs and stalks away. Manny looks between you, before following Abby.

The truck was silent on the ride back, two people lighter than on the way out. You sat, staring at the floor, ignoring Abby’s eyes on you. She had seen it when she got to the ground floor. The devastation you had left in your wake. At least four times the amount of her own kills. You had seen the way she looked at you as you got onto the truck. She hadn’t realised what living at WLF had turned you into, she hadn’t been paying attention. She’d never seen the look in your eyes after a run, hollow and empty. Hadn’t thought about why you didn’t want to talk about what went down on runs with the group, why everyone but your friend group tended to eye you as you walked down the halls. They’d fashioned you into a killer, and stollen the light that used to shine in your eyes. They’d done the same thing to her.

The showers were running hot that day, the fog they created obscuring her vision slightly as she watched you. You stood under the hot water, head tipped back, eyes shut as tears camouflaged with the water. Behind you eyes, a movie of your killing spree played out like pantomime. You saw each of them go down, saw their lives up until that point play out until the moment your bullet found them. Then you scrubbed it all away, and drifted back to your room with raw skin, and blurry eyes.

The knock came not long after.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk, but…please let me in.” You paused, hand over the handle, before you opened the door and walked away. You sat on the small couch and gestured to the coffee table. Abby sat, legs spread wide, leaning forward on her knees.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and you pulled your knees to your chest, suddenly feeling vulnerable in your pj shorts and sports bra. “I’m sorry for ignoring you, I’m sorry for leaving you alone, I’m sorry for putting you on the shit patrol runs. I’m sorry for everything, fuck, Y/N.” She runs her hands over her face, finally looking up to see your vacant eyes staring back. “I’m sorry for scaring all those girls off when they tried to talk to you. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. All of it, I fucked it all up… Somewhere in her rambling, your eyes hardened, became piercing. She watched you reassemble yourself, piece by piece, shut down and toughen into something else.

“You should go.” You cut her off. Her breath caught, noticed the way your fingers tightened around your calves, your breath became stilted. Suddenly you shot off the couch, moving towards the door. “Get out. Now!” You were on the edge, about to slip and the last thing you needed was Abby fucking Anderson witnessing you crumble. She stood, walking over to you. A breath wheezed in your chest, hands shaking, you recoiled away from her.

“Y/n…”

“Please. Leave.” The gasp that left you seemed to puncture the bubble around you, as your knees gave way and she caught you. She shoved the door closed, and pulled you into her lap, feeling you shake and gasp. Her arms coiled around your back, hands rubbing soothingly up and down your spine, letting you bury your head in her shoulder. “I hate you.” You whimpered into her, arms in a vice grip around her shoulders, nails digging into her shoulder blades.

“I know, I don’t blame you.” She sighs, pushing her head into your neck, rocking you back and forth. Slowly, your breathing returned to normal, body becoming limp. You pulled back, moving a hand to the side of her face as you looked down into big blue eyes almost as wet as your own.

“Don’t leave me again.”

“Never.” Abby sucked in a quick breath before pushing her lips to yours. It was gentle, tender as she waited to see how you reacted. She expected a slap, for you to crawl away, hurl the lamp at her. Instead you pressed yourself closer, hand moving to the back of her neck, tilting her head up and slanting so you fit together perfectly.

It got messy quickly, panted breaths and wet tongues. Somewhere between kisses her hands dropped to your hips, gripping and pulling. She groaned when she felt your hips roll against her, bucking up to press closer. The second time she did it, you let out a whimper that almost made her heart stop.

“Fuck, you make such pretty sounds.” She groaned, dropping her lips to your neck, down to your collar bone. You pulled back, tugging off the sports bra, and watching as she quickly wrapped her lips around a nipple. A hazy mix of tongue and teeth had your eyes rolling back.

“I want you so bad.”

“You’ve got me, I’m right here.” Abby shifted, laying you gently on the floor and trailing hot lips down your torso. She had your pjs and panties pulled down around your ankles before you could process the cold air that goose bumped your skin. She pushed your knees apart and up, latching to the soft skin of your inner thigh, teasing her tongue around the very edges of you. She teased until your hips were bucking up and your groans turned to whimpers before she ran her tongue over you.

“Fuck, you do taste sweet.” She groaned, delving back in to part your lips with her tongue before wrapping around your clit, licking and sucking until you were keening and begging for more. She teased a finger at your entrance, feeling the way you tried to suck her in, looking up to see watery eyes looking back at her. As your mouth parted to beg, she slipped a finger in gently, your head dropped back and hands shot to her head.

With hands full of her braid you pulled her closer, feeling her finger curl inside you, triggering a pulse so tight it rippled up through your abdomen. Her finger moved gently as she sucked your clit harshly into her mouth, flicking her tongue over the sensitive bud until your whimpers turned back into full out moans.

“So close, Abs.” You cried, hips wriggling as you tried to find the right spot to tip you over the edge. Abby slipped another finger inside, curling up again and speeding up slightly. She flattened her tongue, and the added pressure launched you over. “Fuck!” Your back arched almost painfully as your legs shook beside her head, she slowed, letting you ride out your high, hips jolting slightly.

Once she was sure you were done, she gently eased out and away from you, running her hands up your sides, and picking you up from the hard floor. She cradled you in her arms, placing a kiss on your forehead before settling you on your bed.

You were still floating as she tucked you under the covers, pulling her pants off and getting in beside you. She pulled you to her, and you nuzzled into her chest.

“I’m never leaving you again.” She placed another tender kiss onto your hairline, stoking your hair as you drifted off to sleep, a soft smile curling your lips.

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝟳: 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝘀𝗹𝘆 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 | 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: witch!reader and potions master!pierre run a cute little shop to fulfill anyone’s magical needs. it’s nearing valentine’s day, and the shop is bombarded with desperate humans looking for love charms & potions, even though there’s no magic spell strong enough to replicate true love. oddly, news travels from a few villages over that there’s a potions master who managed to make a real love potion. pierre has to get his hands on it—for the bit, obviously. there’s no way it will work.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. not beta read. witchcraft. familiars. cunnilngus. aphrodisiacs. inherent dubcon. vaginal sex. unsafe sex. sudden orgasm? desperation. coming inside. vague structure and explanation of magic. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 5k words. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: pierre gasly x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: need to know • doja cat

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: inspired by amortentia. what can i say at every fanfic writer's core, they’ve read an unhealthy amount of hp ff’s, i don’t make up the rules. we know pierre is a fiend, but uh, i do not even feel like i truly tapped into his true unhinged power with this. n joy, loves !!!

do you want to be added to my general taglist? send me an ask!

cross-posted on my ao3, htppsss

to see what kinktober uploads have already been completed or to see what's coming next check my f1 kinktober masterlist ! for all of my works see my general masterlist!

the shop has been open for fifty-five minutes and it’s already been overwhelmed by desperate humans. valentine’s day is tomorrow; and every naive soul is scrambling to get a love charm or potion. the problem with that is: there’s no magic spell or potion able to mirror true love. however, nobody coming into the shop appreciates that answer. 

after the third time a customer hysterically screamed at you for saying there’s no such thing as a ‘love spell,’ you made a slight tweak to the doorbell. now, every time the door opens a bass-boosted audio of you screaming, “LOVE POTIONS, CHARMS, OR SPELLS DO NOT EXIST” echoed through the shop. unfortunately, that message did not seem to help. you had to change the way you welcomed customers when they stepped up to the counter.

“good morning! welcome in to runes and brews; if you’re looking for a spell of true love, it doesn’t exist. nor does a potion or charm. the most i can offer is a hyperfixation charm, which makes the subject pay more attention to you for twelve hours. this charm doesn’t affect their emotions, you still have to make them attracted to you with your, hopefully, natural charm. are you interested in one, they’re buy-one-get-one free for valentine’s day?”

your customer service grimace smile is stained across your lips as you parrot the same words to each customer. you’ve become an npc. the customers try to interrupt your spiel, but you act as if it’s a piece of unskippable dialogue. if they’re going to come here and harass you over their inability to rizz somebody up—they’re sure as hell going to listen when you speak. at this point, you’ve adopted the ‘it is what it is’ mentality. you’re selling a record number of hyper-fixation charms, you think you might run out of your entire supply hours before the store closes. 

at first, you felt a little guilty about selling these charms to the desperate souls. all they want is true love and you can only offer a temporary fix. but after you’ve been screamed at countless times for telling these non-magiques that you can’t supply them with what they’re asking for, the guilt quickly transforms to ‘idgaf.’ with a twitching eye, you kindly told the customers inside the store to wait just a few seconds while you adjusted the door’s charm. 

you grab the outer doorknob with a hand covered in lapis powder, and imbue it with your aura to edit the current protection spell. thankfully, you remembered to meditate this morning, so casting comes easily. you breathe deeply, before releasing the handle and you make your way back towards the customers. and suddenly, the amount of people entering the shop decreases dramatically.

you have such a manic grin on your face that the customers inside the building stare at you in mild terror. one of the humans swallows their fear, and asks the question they’re all afraid to hear the answer to, “w-what did you do to the uh- to the d-door?”

the lights brighten around you as your grin grows larger, and you nonchalantly answer, “the door reads your intentions before you step inside. if a customer plans to come in and harass me over what is magically impossible, they get cursed.”

the humans gasp in fear, and you’re eyes widen in realization, “oh! no-no, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad! it’s just a floating rose that screams out ‘i have no rizz’ to every person they talk to for the next forty-eight hours. they’ve ruined their own valentine’s day with their terrible manners,” you state proudly.

the mass of customers inside thins out pretty quickly after that. 

thankfully, the door charm seems to do the trick with keeping out unruly folks. you’re able to start working on requests from your usual customers—the barkeep needs her rune for a bottomless keg replenished, the butcher needs his new set of utensils charmed with sharpness, the baker’s assistant needs your help working on the heating charm for the warming-tables, and so on and so forth. you get a new vampire customer today, requesting a sunshade potion—they indulge in telling you that they’re planning to spend valentine’s day outside with their human partner as a surprise. you coo at the vampire adorably as you check them out, and you see their cheeks faintly tint with pink—they must have fed recently. this is why being open for valentine’s day is worth it to you; customers like this remind you that true love still exists.

you wish him luck with his surprise, and hand over the potion, which was made by your true love, pierre. who was supposed to be helping you in the shop about thirty minutes ago. he claimed to have to run out and get a few extra supplies to be able to fulfill all of his orders, but that he’d be back before the shop opened. when he shows his face, the true love between you two may not exist anymore. because you’re going to kill him for hanging you out to dry. you sigh, and make your way into the back storage closet to get a fresh box of dried peonies for the new batch of hyperfixation charms, when you hear the doorbell scream the warning message.

you call-out, “give me one moment and i’ll be right up to help you out! feel free to look around in the meantime!” you summon the box of peonies forward, and spell it to float after you as you make your way out.

turning the corner, you automatically begin your npc introduction, “good morning! welcome in to runes and brews; if you’re looking for a spell of true love, it doesn’t exist. nor does a potion or charm. the most i can offer is a hyperfixation charm—oh, it’s just you—ohmygod—how did you pick up my door curse??”

pierre stares at you in a mixture of bewilderment and amusement, as the rose screams “I HAVE NO RIZZ,” at you. you can only laugh, and summon your phone to your hand to take a video. pierre laughs in reflex, still not sure what’s going on, and suddenly he’s being climbed over like a cat tree by your familiar.

“aha!” you exclaim. “i’ve been looking for you all day, ma’am. what pocket of the universe were you hiding in? you always disappear when the non-magiques come around instead of defending me, cat. what kind of familiar are you?”

pierre struggles to wrangle cat off of his head from where she’s fucking up the rose hanging over him. he side-eyes you heavily when he still sees you recording the whole interaction, and you put the phone down before you step over to get cat off of his head. “madame catalytic converter!” you yell with the force of your ancestors.

yes, you named your familiar catalytic converter, cat for short. it makes perfect sense, she improves your efficiency and decreases the chance for any harmful side-effects when you do magic; just like the car part. pierre says that’s why she never listens to you, for giving her a terrible name. when you asked him what he would’ve named her, he said, “probably, escargot, or something.” you said that’s probably why she hates him more. 

you remove the curse from pierre with a quick touch of your hand to his forehead, and the rose poofs away. madame catalytic converter, hops away quickly, uninterested in either of you again, and struts away to sit on top of the box of peonies you brought up. you narrow your eyes at your familiar, “oh—so you’re not even going to explain yourself? where were you?”

cat stares at you dead in the eyes, before she looks away and starts licking her calico fur clean, dismissing you. you scoff, rolling your eyes, and turn to pierre, “and where were you, monsieur?” you ask, poking a finger to his chest. 

pierre presses a kisses to your cheek in greeting, and raises the one bag he has in his hand as part of his answer, “i told you i was running errands, remember?”

you purse your lips at him, and he smiles at you, wrapping an arm around your waist to try and pull you in for a kiss. you smack your teeth disapprovingly, gripping his jaw with your hand, and holding him back, “yeah, you told me you were getting extra supplies. plural. and, that you’d be back in time to open the shop.”

pierre avoids your eyes, chuckling anxiously. 

“i’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but, you’ve only come back with one item, and it’s well past the time the shop opened,” you pause, letting pierre simmer, “explain yourself.”

“okaysoilied,” pierre rushes out, and you hum in shock sarcastically, gesturing for him to continue, “but—but! mon amour, i’ve come back with something that could potentially level up my potion making skills!”

you stare at him unamused, “oh ok—well, show me, what is this wonderful thing?”

pierre shifts on his feet, and you are suddenly afraid to know what he’s bought. if his confidence is faltering, you know whatever’s in that bag cannot be good. 

“so, you remember how people were saying the potion shop a few towns over has actual love potions,” pierre starts eagerly, you nod in resignation, already knowing where this is going, “i bought one! well, two actually. i tried to bug the potion maker into telling me what he put in it, but he was so shifty about it. which is completely understandable, if i made a new potion as great as this, i wouldn’t tell anybody my secrets either.”

“okay, pierre,” you sigh, rubbing a hand across your face, disappointed, “why did you buy two of them?”

“oh,” pierre begins, his usual ludicrous smirk returning to his expression, “one for me to study, and one for me to take! the best way to see if it works is to test it out myself.”

you tug his hand off your waist, and step away from him, pointing at him in vindication, “that’s why my curse worked on you! you’re harassing me with this goddamn love-potion shit—you snake, we both know it’s not real!”

pierre groans, following after you as you storm back to the front counter, the peony box floating over as well, cat yowling at the sudden movement. 

“oh, come on, mon amour,” pierre pleads, brandishing the love potion at you, “where is your hunger for magical breakthroughs? aren’t you curious to learn how it works?”

“pierre, babe, it doesn’t work! that’s why i don’t care! and, why would it work on you? we’re already a true love’s match. we’re soul-tied!”

“so, there’s no harm in me taking it,” pierre claims, like he’s found a loophole. 

“pierre, you shouldn’t,” you warn him. the potions master deflates at your words, and you sigh at the sight of his point. you take a few steps to press your lips to his in a sweet kiss, and your aura swells with pierre’s love passing to you.

“if you do end up taking it, which you probably will anyways, at least take the time to properly study it. you don’t know if they’re any weird side effects,” pierre perks up, his blue-green eyes losing their saddened look immediately. he happily presses a few more kisses to your lips, and pulls away before pressing a kiss to your hand.

“i will! i’m going to go to the back now and start studying it—“

“uhm, no you are not! you still have to help me run this store, sir! i have plenty of things for you to do. starting with cleaning our cauldrons!”

pierre groans in disgust and whines like a child, “mon amour! please, you know i hate doing that. you can do it with a snap of your fingers, why do i have to do it with manual labor?”

you arch a sharp brow at him, and gently remind him of his behavior, “you shouldn’t have lied to me then, hm?” pierre sulks, and moves towards the back to get started on cleaning the cauldrons.

“don’t look so sad—i could’ve had you collecting the eyes of spiders!”

pierre cringes when he accidentally slams the drawer of his desk closed, pausing cautiously to listen for any movement in the house. it’s late, and you’ve gone to bed hours ago; he’s stayed up trying to identify what exactly this so-called love potion is made out of, and what order of processes it was created with. the frenchman is certain that there are at least seven ingredients in the brew: mature peonies, smashed pearls, crushed dates, powdered rose thorns, rose water, and a potion base of moonstone and lapis. it’s odd, because to pierre the potion smells like warmed vanilla, shea butter, a dash of espresso, and a brush of peppermint—but with every extraction he makes from the potion, there’s no sign of those ingredients. in addition to that mystery, he can tell that this potion took a few weeks to prepare and that it needed constant stirring. he can figure out when ingredients were added to the potion based on how much affect the cooking and heat had on them; the dates and pearls were first, followed by the rose thorns, and it seems like the peonies were added last—he just can’t figure out how they were integrated in the brew. were they added in batches, all at once, did they need changes in stirring motion, etc.. 

putting aside all the unknowns, there is one thing that pierre is sure of: none of the ingredient combinations in this potion would cause any harmful side effects. the powdered rose thorns and crushed pearls are a rare sight in potions but, they create the base of hyperfixation charms and he hasn’t heard of any reports of strange or harmful reactions from these two ingredients. so, the only responsible option for the potions master is to drink the concoction and see if it lives up to be the ‘true love’ potion everyone is claiming it to be.

pierre knocks the draft back quickly and hums pleasantly at the taste, a curious eyebrow raised at how it doesn’t mirror the scent at all. the flavor is sweet and tangy, with a lingering dash of saltiness—it’s delicious. he finds himself wishing he didn’t waste the first potion with experiments so he could taste it again. 

the potions master rocks back and forth on his feet impatiently, he expected the brew to take immediate effect, alas, he feels nothing. pierre shrugs, the potion may take longer to kick in if it’s replicating one of the strongest emotions. he leaves his study and makes his way to the bedroom, and right before he enters the bedroom, he stumbles over cat. your familiar looks at him reproachfully, before she pauses and comes over to sniff at pierre. in the dark, he can see the calico’s eyes shrink into pupils and suddenly she hisses up at him, before she apparates into thin air. pierre scratches at his scalp in a confused manner; cat hissing at him and then disappearing, is not out of the ordinary (it reminds him of the you first brought him home and he tried to charm her with a laser pointer—the familiar stared at pierre like he disparaged her family name), he doesn’t know if that was a reaction just because of him, or if it was a reaction to the potion. 

he continues with his usual nightly routine before he joins you in bed, dressed in a pair of old sweatpants alone. you pout in your sleep, pierre can feel your aura calling to him, unhappy that he’s not curled up against you. he tucks you into his chest when he settled comfortably on his back. he feels your magic calm, the air relaxing when the force of your influence fades. 

the potions master tries to stay up for as long as he can to see if he notices an effect from the brew, but deflates when he doesn’t feel any changes. he knows the chances of this potion working was slim to none, however, he kind of hoped it at least had some effect on him. pierre’s eyes flutter shut as he drifts to sleep, and his last conscious thought is that you were probably right, the potion may not have an effect on true love’s matches.

you squirm awake. it’s boiling hot under the sheets and it shouldn’t be, you placed a cooling charm on the bed. as the fog of sleep unfortunately fades from your mind, you notice that the heat is radiating from pierre. turning around in worry and slight annoyance, you check in on your boyfriend, and the annoyance disappears when you examine his state.

he’s still asleep, but he’s drenched in sweat. his brow is furrowed in what must be pain, and his body squirms across the bed in discomfort. you press a hand to his forehead and hiss at the burning heat from his skin. you groan, already knowing what happened to your dumb potions master—he should be stripped of his title after this. he was working on the damn potion before you went to bed, and he fucking drank it, ignoring your warning, and now, he’s suffering the consequences. you take the same hand that was on his head, and bring it to his shoulder to gently shake him awake. pierre, on the other hand, awakens dramatically, jackknifing upright like you’ve poured water all over him.

the man pants desperately, chest heaving with his stuttering breaths, tongue swiping at his upper lip to clear the sweat gathering there, his teal irises swallowed by enlarged pupils, and his hair is matted and curling against his forehead from the mixture of sweat and heat. his eyes are glazed over, you can tell he’s not quite aware of what’s going on—that’s probably thanks to the incredible fever he’s running—but there’s a hidden glint to them that you can’t puzzle out. 

“oh, pierre,” you lean forward, hands coming to grasp at the sides of his face, steadying him, “you fucked around and found out, didn’t you? there’s no chance you’re capable of telling me the antidote to this, it seems. maybe a spell can alleviate the effects briefly enough…”. as you ramble on, mostly to yourself, you fail to see the look in pierre’s eyes change. the hidden intentions you weren’t able to make out are as clear as day now. the haze over his stare is still present, but the confusion has disappeared. only hunger remains.

you startle when pierre’s trembling hands grasp at your waist. you quirk a brow at him in question, but don’t receive an answer, a verbal one at least. you’re suddenly knocked flat on your back and pierre bodily shoves himself between your legs, hovering over you. and the intense look in his eyes is made aware to you; you’ve seen it before, but it’s never felt this ravenous. you press your eyelids closed and whimper under your breath at your revelation: the ‘true love’ potion is a fucking aphrosodiac.

pierre is so hot. he feels his body shivering dramatically as he holds himself on his hands above you. his muscles weaken from the strain of the fever, and he collapses on top of you. his head lands in the valley of your neck, and he moans at the cooling feeling of your brown skin against his face—he needs more of it, he needs you naked. reinvigorated, pierre attempts to wrangle your clothes off, but he’s unable to do much with his shaky limbs. he begins to anger when your sleep shirt fails to disappear, and tries to rip it down the center. you force his hands away, and tug the shirt up and away before tossing it aside, leaving you in just panties. his anger dissipates, and he presses his body against yours again, and a choked groan escapes him at the relief your naked torso gives him, he goes boneless. 

the relief lasts for less than a minute, before he starts squirming desperately again—he needs to be closer to you. he suckles marks into your neck, moaning lewdly when he feels your hand tangle in his hair, pulling at it firmly. he fights your grasp, unsatisfied with his unfinished claim on your neck and chest, but he submits when he notices you’re guiding him to your lips. 

the meeting of your lips is messy, he can’t manage to find any of his usual finesse. he pants into your mouth in between sloppy, wet kisses, if you can even call them that. his tongue fights against yours, and his hips buck forward at the feeling, which reminds him of the fact that he still has sweatpants on and you have on panties. pierre jerks away, resisting the urge to continue kissing you when you whine out for him so prettily, chest arching upwards, nipples perky and egging him to bite, the bruises on your neck blossoming with reds and purples—he shakes his head erratically, and focuses enough to tug his sweatpants off; he’s never been so happy that he’s not wearing underwear. the skin contact must have done him well, because his hands aren’t shaking anymore as they grasp at your panties. he may not have torn apart your shirt, but the cotton undergarment doesn’t stand a chance, he rips through it like water.

the sound of your shriek at his actions is muted in his ears, and he barely registers the feeling of you shoving at his shoulder in irritation. pierre can only see your pussy. a broken whimper escapes him as he stares; his eyes tunnel to your throbbing hooded clit, the way your entrances tightens and relaxes, like you’re taunting him to fill you up, and you’re soaked for him, lips shining with your wetness—he should just get a brief taste, before he fucks you. he lays between your legs, hands coming around to grip at your thighs to firmly hold you against his mouth, and he’s eating you out like he’s never had a meal before.

the potions master vaguely hears a pleasure-filled scream burst from your chest as he broadly strokes of his tongue against your vulva to collect any wetness you’ve spilled. he muffles his moan into your pussy at the taste, and shifts downward to prod his tongue inside of you to coax more of your juices out. he feels your hips try to buck him off of you, and he growls into you, tightening his grip on your thighs to allow you no escape. you leak steadily into his mouth, even as you try to run from the constant barrage of his lips, tongue, and teeth. pierre’s brow furrows with the effort he puts into eating you out—your taste is addicting. it’s a mouthwatering combination of sweet and tangy, with lingering saltiness. he has a small lapse of deja-vu at your flavor, but it’s quickly dismissed at the drag of his cock against the bed. 

pierre whimpers into you at the pleasure flaring behind his eyelids, as he begins to hump against the bed. he switches from forcing his tongue inside of you and moves his attention to your clit, suckling and twirling his tongue on the button. it sounds like he’s making out with your cunt. your thighs to clamp shut around his head, your hand scrambles to tug at his hair and hold him exactly where you want him, and you start rubbing your pussy against him. fuck, how did he not realize how hard he is. pierre sobs into your pussy overwhelmed, he wants to keep eating you out, and the friction of his cock against the bed feels so good. he knows being inside of you would be better.

the frenchman breaks free from the grasp of your legs, and scrambles back upwards, not giving you time to register the change in position before he breaches your entrance. when the head of his cock pops inside of you, he throws his head back and moans erotically at the feeling of your cunt fluttering around him. he starts to burn hotter. pierre struggles to hold-off from thrusting into you in one smooth motion—he’s usually cautious when he fucks into you for the first time because he’s well aware of his size and how you struggle to take it all in one sitting. he whimpers hotly, and picks his head up to look at you—and all sense of waiting for you to adjust leaves him head. a line of drool has slid down your cheek, your eyes have rolled back in pleasure, and the sounds of your squeals of pleasure from just the tip of his cock break his restraint.

the man drives his cock deep inside of you in one smooth thrust, and he shudders on top of you, humming in satisfaction at the pulsing grasp of your cunt. pierre feels how he forced the air out of your lungs, your corresponding scream still rattling in his eardrums, but he can’t help how he grinds his cock into you, one, two, three times. he groans out, and starts making proper thrusts into you—he needs to fuck you properly. one of your hands sneaks between your joined bodies and presses at his navel in a weak attempt to halt his movements. pierre knocks it out of the way, before he brings both of his hands to tighten on your waist and starts fucking you with a purpose. it’s selfish and dirty; in a way pierre usually isn’t. he uses himself as a tool to make you cum first all of the time, but you can tell tonight, this is all about him—your orgasm is just a byproduct. he gathers you up in his arms, making sure there’s no gap of air in between you, and starts pumping his hips into you deeply, not pulling out of you any more than a few centimeters.

it’s feels so pleasurable that it could be torture. he’s applying pressure against that spongy spot on your walls so consistently, that you’re legs have already started shaking. he’s fucking you up the bed with the force of his thrust, and he’s conscious enough to place a hand on the headboard to make sure he doesn’t shove you up to hit your head. pierre’s making these sweet, whiny, whimpers, that he attempts to muffle into your neck as he feels himself start pulsating inside of you, dancing along the edge. he feels your nails claw into his back, and it’s like his senses are suddenly returned to full strength from where they were clogged with fuzz. he can hear you try and moan out for him, but his thrusts are so powerful that you keep choking on your words.

he catches the ending of your warning, “pierre-oh—m’ gonna cum! oh, fuck!”

the clenching of your orgasm pushes him into his own, and it’s the most intense crash of pleasure he’s ever felt. his vision whites out and it feels painful in a way only too much pleasure can give. his whole body shakes through each wave of pleasure, and he feels lightheaded at the feeling. pierre can’t even do anything more than jerk his hips forward to pump through the aftershocks, he falls limp on top of you, pinning you under him. his skin feels raw and blown open, and there’s a ringing noise in his ears. he whimpers against your neck, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, and then he’s pretty sure he faints for a few minutes.

when he comes back to the present, you’re humming underneath him, hands rubbing up and down his back in a soothing motion. pierre brokenly moans against your throat, oversensitive. you shush him, and scratch at the nape of his neck, just the way he likes but won’t admit to. his breaths slowly even out against your skin, and in a croaky voice he starts talking, “the potion—it smelled like the shea butter of your lotion, the vanilla and coffee of your perfume, and the peppermint of your aura.”

you pause in your motions, and softly ask, “really?”

pierre shifts, hissing at the jostling of his cock still inside of you, and settles again, raising his head up to make lazy eye contact with you, “yeah,” he whispers quietly, before carefully pulling out of you and falling onto his stomach next to you.

you nuzzle up to his side and press kisses against his shoulder, before you offhandedly mention that his fever’s gone down. pierre’s fighting the call of sleep, and mumbles something into the pillow that you can’t make out, and he turns his head to the side so you can hear him, “i dunno how, mon amour, but it tasted like you too.”

you stare at him with wide eyes, neither of you are aware of an aphrodisiac of this caliber. pierre falls asleep, and you close your eyes in a quick prayer—this potion better have run its course, you won’t survive another round of that.

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