#wilford x abe

[abe-the-detective-blog]

✘ (( wilford was to sleepy from a interview:3 ))

Abe had walked inside there apartment and was confused when he wasn’t greet by Wilford. He shrugs and took off his hat and hung up his coat before he saw Wilford cuddled up on the couch and sleeping. Abe walked over and kissed his head walking away.

[fdq666roadie-blog]

As Abe and Wilford dance the night away, Abe begins to realize he’s falling for Wilford.

This is set immediately after the Wilford Motherloving Warfstache video ends.

[craftartz67]

Abe has two hands. One a chaotic mustache man and the other a emo demon :)

[reinxxoi]

𝒫𝓇𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝓊𝑒

𝕎𝕙𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕣?

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ๋࣭݁ ⭑🪩๋࣭ ⭑. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

The Long And Winding Road The Beatles

“the long and winding road

that leads to your door.

Will never disappear.

I’ve seen that road before.”

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

Me and Mark had a lot of history. He’s the one who metaphorically pulled me out of the hole that is addiction. That night he met me in the bar I was wasted and up to my eyeballs in debt but he paid my debts and set me straight. It’s thanks to him that I have my current job as a detective. Despite how close we are it did come as a shock to me that I received an invitation to poker night at Markiplier Manor.

I hopped into my 1974 Plymouth Satellite and began driving. I had no clue what to expect, it had been awhile since I played poker. Gambling is the reason I went so deep into debt, tonight would really test my sobriety. Turning on the radio The Long And Winding Road by The Beatles came on and I found myself humming along to the tune. I was big into The Beatles, pretty mainstream of me right? But what can I say? I’m a sucker for Beatlemania.

Passing by the portrait-esque landscape got me thinking deeply about the upcoming party. I pondered what the purpose of this party could be, I’m sure Mark had some cause for celebration. He always was one for the flamboyant aspects of life and yet he was also someone who struggled so much. To be honest I admired him deeply, my infatuation with him only grew stronger with each meeting I had with him. There’s something so charming about him, may it be the charisma or otherwise… Regardless, my attraction to him couldn’t be denied. I just hoped that I would get the chance to confess these feelings I had for him…

I finally pulled into the long drive, parking my car next to a 1976 black Cadillac Eldorado. It was a nice looking car, must’ve been bought pretty recently. Whoever drives this must be pretty well off. I stepped out of my car, staring up at the large manor in front of me. Outstanding was an understatement to say the least. This manor was straight from a movie. Looking at my invitation one last time, I inhaled the crisp morning air and headed inside.

“Why hello, invitation please?” An attractive man greeted me at the door… His attire, he must be The Butler.

“Ah, right.” I brought myself back to reality, handing him the invitation.

“Right this way, I shall fetch you a drink.” He smiled charmingly.

“No need, I don’t drink.” I responded dismissively. I don’t even need the temptation of alcohol, I know how I get when I start down that path.

The Butler shrugged and walked off.

“Abe!!” I heard a familiar voice. Turning, I see that it’s Mark walking towards me. His red silk robe complimented his muscular build so well. “It’s been too long, old friend!” He firmly shakes my hand.

“Truly.” I agreed. “You know, I was surprised by the sudden invitation. Do you have cause for such a celebration?” I inquired.

“Yes, yes! This shall be the celebration of the decade! Mayhaps, even the century!” He smiled so brightly, it put all my worries at ease. “Oh yes, I should introduce you to my good friend Damien! Right this way!” Mark led me into the manor, there stood yet another very attractive man in a nice suit and cane… I recognized him. “Abe, this is Damien, The Mayor.” He introduced us. “I’ll leave you two to entertain each other, I have other matters to attend to!” And with that he left us alone.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” I extend my hand for a greeting.

“Pleasure’s all mine, good sir.” He takes my hand, shaking it warmly.

“So how do you know Mark?” Damien asked me with genuine curiosity.

“It’s quite the long story and I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details, I’m sure you’re a busy man.” I dismiss the question politely.

“Oh please, we’ve got time! The Colonel hasn’t even shown yet… and who knows if he will.” Damien’s voice trailed off as his gaze fell elsewhere.

“If you insist…” I pause, trying to figure out whether or not I should tell The Mayor of my struggles with addiction.

“I do!” He eagerly interjects.

As I go on explaining my tale of woes to Damien I notice the door open and a surprisingly handsome and/or beautiful person enters, handing The Butler an invitation.

“Oh them?” Damien asks. “That’s The DA, and my old college buddy.”

“How nice…” I respond blankly. I was caught up with the person behind them. he wore a safari uniform… this must be The Colonel.

“Oh here they come! I must attend to this, pardon me.” Damien smiles softly, clearly allowing me to investigate this strange man.

I approach him cautiously, he was shockingly attractive. Under that helmet I knew he would be quite the gentleman.

“Can I help you?” He asks coldly, a stark contrast to the manner in which I expected from him.

“Perhaps you could, I’m Abe.” I extend my hand for a greeting.

“My friends call me The Colonel.” He grips my hand tightly. “I assume you shall call me the same by the end of the night.” He grins pompously.

“How long have you known Mark?” I inquire.

“Too long, that’s for sure.” He brushes aside the question.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, more curious now than ever.

“We grew up together is what I mean. And it shows.” He left it at that and before I could move on to another one of my many questions, our attention was drawn elsewhere.

“Welcome, welcome, one and all. My name is Markiplier, thank you for joining me on this auspicious evening.” Mark began to descend the stairs, stopping briefly to continue his monologue. “So good to be surrounded by such close and trusted friends… Now, this evening, it’s not all about the poker. It’s not all about me. It’s about you. So drink up and be merry! Life is for the living! And who knows? I could be dead tomorrow.” At that last statement he begins laughing uncontrollably. I was understandably caught off-guard by this but oh well…

We all go into the dining room and begin playing a round of poker, I didn’t want to drink very much due to my past in alcoholism but I figured I should take Mark’s words to heart, life is for the living after all.

We partied hard, The DA perhaps more than others. I didn’t expect someone so handsome and/or beautiful to party like an animal. Everyone was pretty black out drunk… everyone but me and Mark. We only got a little buzzed while everyone else went wild. After most people went to their rooms to crash, me and Mark were left.

The two of us sat on the couch for a moment..

“Quite the party, huh?” Mark smiled sadly.

“It certainly was.” I agreed, matching Mark’s somber expression.

“You know Abe… you’re my best friend” Mark remarked out of the blue.

“Where’s this coming from?” I was a little worried knowing Mark’s mental state..

“I just figured I should start appreciating the small things.” He stared out the window into the deep dark sky.

“Mark, you know you can tell me anything.” I took his hand.

“Abe…” He looked at me suddenly with tears in his eyes. “Not this, I couldn’t possibly tell you this.” Mark looked ashamed, as if he’d done something awful.

“I think you should get some sleep and we can talk it over in the morning, okay?” I pull him into an embrace. “Just sleep, don’t do anything else.” I mutter into his shoulder.

“I promise.” Mark held me tightly… too tightly.

I bid him a good night and started toward my room… I saw Damien carrying The DA back to their own room. I didn’t think much of it and I went into mine, crashing out at 1:16 a.m.

In the morning I woke up at 8:30 to an alarm. I definitely didn’t schedule it; so maybe Mark set it for the next part of his festivities. I got up out of bed and changed into some clean clothes, then I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

As I went through the mundane routines of the morning I began picturing Mark’s face last night… He stared at me as though that would be the last time I see him. I should really talk to him about my feelings, I’m terrified he could do something stupid.

I shook away the thought, I didn’t want to think of the fact that Mark could take his life.. I loved him too much to even consider the notion.

I finished up and headed downstairs, hoping to see Mark awaiting me. As I was headed downstairs I heard lightning strike.

“Did anyone hear that lightning?” I asked aloud to anyone. And then I saw The DA standing next to it…

It lay there cold on the floor… Mark’s dead body.

“OH MY GOD!! THERE’S BEEN A MURDER!” I scream for the whole manor to hear.

I run quickly to Mark’s side, trying to see if he was bleeding, perhaps we could still save him?

“Excuse me, did you hear lightni- OH MY GOD, MURDER!!” The Butler came in, seeing the grisly sight as well.

“Did you- MURDERRRRR!” The Chef screeched upon entering the room.

Each time the ‘M’ word was thrown around lightning would strike… It was almost supernatural.

I couldn’t help but notice how calm The DA appeared. Perhaps this murder had just occurred.

“What the hell happened here?! Who’s in charge around here?!!” I gripped The DA tightly by their collar. “Trick question- that guy. And he’s dead now, which makes ME in charge. So you better listen up good, bucko. ‘Case you haven’t been paying attention, there’s been a bit of a… killin’. ” I narrowed my eyes at them, hoping to scare them into confessing their crime.

There was a long pause, I was kind of hoping for a confession by now. No matter, I’ll just make it even more clear that this handsome and/or beautiful devil and/or angel is on my radar…

“And you’re my prime suspect. So you better get to explaining right quick as to the what, where, when, and why you happen to be here upon this man’s death.” I grill them even further. They seemed shocked by my accusation, perhaps they really didn’t do it..

“Sir, the body is cold… He’s been dead awhile.” The Butler interrupted. I felt my heart sink into my stomach, I felt like I was going to hurl. Was this my fault? Maybe I should’ve stuck by his side last night instead of telling him to sleep it off.

“A likely story… That I happen to believe completely. All right, you’re off the hook for now… But I’m a detective, and-“ Before I could finish my thought The Chef interjected.

“Oh yeah? Prove you’re a real dick!” He spat.

“Here’s my badge, asshole.” I showed him my badge but as I was doing so the photos of my old partners fell out with it.

The DA stared at them intently as if studying each of them individually. I saw their confused expression, they probably wondered how I knew these people.

“Ah, those are my old partners. Don’t ask me about them- Fine! I’ll tell you.” I didn’t leave much room for protest. “Each one of them died. Each death more tragic than the last. A few of them even died in ironically hilarious ways. Which made it all the more tragic” I explained.

The DA and Chef looked at each other in horror. I figured that’s the reaction I’d get, but I don’t need their sympathy or their trust. I’m investigating this murder case and that’s all that matters.

“But hey, you look like you’re up to the task. You’re my new Partner!” The DA shook their head aggressively clearly not wanting to become my temporary Partner. “That’s what all my old partners used to say… Right before they died.” I began to wonder if I may be cursed or perhaps unlucky.

The DA and Chef flashed each other another horrified expression. Specifically The Chef who looked like he had witnessed a murder before his very eyes… I should look into that.

“All right, hand me that finger printing kit behind you, partner.” I held out my hand waiting for them to do as I told them.

They reluctantly help me set up the crime scene, tracing the body, marking evidence, putting tape up. I was quite thankful to not be doing this alone, especially since the guilt from last night was taking over me… I felt awful for dismissing Mark the way I did.

After we set up the scene it was time to investigate..

“Thanks, Partner.” I nodded. I began inspecting the body when I heard footsteps approaching.

“What the hell happened here?” Damien asked, confused by the scene considering I had Mark’s body covered.

“Oh! Mr. Mayor… I’m so sorry, there’s been a murder.” As The Butler explains, lightning strikes.

“A murder?” Damien asks as more lightning strikes. “Who?” He continues with his questions.

“It’s Mark..” The Chef shrugs nonchalantly.

“I’m afraid he’s telling the truth… Mark’s been” I hesitated.. a part of me still didn’t believe it so to say it out loud was like trying to put your hand on a hot stove… realistically you could do it but something in your brain just prevents you from doing so. “…killed.” I finish.

“Why? Who would do this?” Damien didn’t understand any of this and it was clear. I know he’s childhood friends with Mark so this must sting twice as much as it does for me.

“That’s exactly what me and my new Partner are here to find out.” I reassure him. I know that I’ll uncover the truth and get answers to piece together why Mark of all people had to die.

“Um, excuse me. I feel like we should call the authorities for them to handle this matter.” The Butler chimes in.

“Look- Buddy, as far as you’re concerned, I AM the authorities.” I flash my badge at him. “The fact of the matter is… I believe the killer is right here amongst us in this very house.” My mouth moved before my mind did and came to the conclusion.

It shocked everyone else and even me… This night was for Mark’s closest friends so who here would want to kill him? And suddenly I made the connection… the lightning.

“With that freaky lightning storm outside, none of us would get very far anyway.” I concluded. I put my badge back into my pocket. “So in the meantime, we’re stuck here. But I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.” I reassured them.

I have full confidence in my abilities to find the culprit however I have this rookie with me now. I don’t even know why I brought them into this, something about their blue-ish, brown-ish, green-ish, hazel-ish eyes compelled me to do so. There may be hope for them yet, if we can just secure the area then together we’ll find the culprit.

“The rest of you, get back to your rooms, hunker down, and pray to God you’re not next to be murdered.” I firmly ordered everyone as lightning struck outside.

“I’ll… I’ll check on our other guests..” The Butler hesitantly left the room.

“I’ll get back to cooking… All this death made me hungry.” The Chef added, departing from the room.

“I- I need to talk to The Colonel about this.” Damien seemed to know more than he let on. Our first exchange was normal enough but when I met The Colonel… he was different. Damien left hurriedly, The DA staring at them as a lost puppy stares at a bone...

“All right Partner.” I brought them back to the reality of this tragedy. “It’s time to get to work. Judging by the temperature of the body that I measured rectally. Um, which is obviously the most accurate way to get the inner body temperature of a corpse… That’s a fact- totally procedure! Don’t tell anyone I did it.” I hurriedly finished the end of my sentence. “I am sure Mark was killed around 1:30 a.m. last night. So…” I stood up quickly. “What were YOU doing at 1:30 a.m. last night?!” I interrogated.

The DA told me that they had been asleep with their eyes open at 1:30 and so they couldn’t have killed Mark. And while it’s not a tight alibi, it’s the explanation I have to go off of so it’s time to question the other guests.

“I’m gonna ignore the strange fact that you sleep with your eyes open. But it checks out… So, we need to figure out where everyone was and what they were doing around that time or, at the very least, who saw Mark last.” I explained to my new Partner. “You need to get out there. See if you can piece together the story of what happened last night. I’ll stick around with the body and run more tests.” I kneel back down next to Mark’s body as The DA, my new partner, goes to interview the suspects.

I was conducting some more tests but the guilt of last night weighed heavily on my conscience so I left the room to get a class of alcohol from the kitchen… Something to calm the nerves, you know? But when I returned Mark’s body was gone

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

I knew I had to find my Partner and let them know what had happened. As I snuck out into the back I saw them talking with Damien. Hiding behind a bush, I listened in on the conversation. Once Damien began to walk away I knew I needed my partner’s attention.

“Hey! Partner! Get over here, now! Hurry up!” I whispered loudly, leading them back inside. “You’re not gonna believe this- I can barely believe this! The body- it’s gone. It’s just fucking disappeared. Look!” I led them back inside.

I showed them the scene and all that was left was an outline I drew before the body disappeared.

“WHO DID THIS?!” I shouted frustratedly. I couldn’t believe my stupidity. Once again my alcoholism is the reason people around me suffer. “It certainly wasn’t me! No, no… somebody, NOT ME, must have moved it between the time I was the last person alone with the body in the room and then stepped out for a few minutes to take care of some personal business that you don’t need to know about!” I began rambling again, speaking so fast I didn’t even know what I was saying. “Could have been anybody… except me.” I felt it was obvious although my Partner is new and might not be able to piece it together without me spelling it out.

“What the hell happened here?” The Butler entered, shocked.

“The body’s been moved.” I state plainly.

“On its own?!” He cried in terror and confusion.

“No- of course not! Unless it did, in which case we’ve got way bigger problems than a simple murder” A flash of lightning appeared in the sky after I said that.

“What the hell happened here?!” The Chef barged in.

“The body’s moved!” The Butler informs.

“On it’s own?!” He’s stunned at the notion.

“We haven’t ruled that out just yet, but let’s not forget we’ve got a murderer-“ The lightning interrupted me before The Colonel could.

“Bully!” The Colonel made his first appearance since last night… I had my suspicions about him. “Quite a storm out there, eh, chaps? What are you doing huddled in here in fear?” He asks without a care in the world.

“We have a zombie problem.” The Chef scoffs.

“Ahh, Homo Necrosis! The MOST dangerous game.” He gets in my face with that snarky smirk of his. “Well… if someone needs to put the old lad down again, I’m well up for the privilege.” He has a cheeky grin spread wide across his face… something about what he said didn’t sit right with me at all.

“What do you mean by again? And what do you mean by privilege?” I narrowed my eyes at him scouring for any reason as to why he’d kill Mark, his childhood best friend.

“I’m just saying… I’ve got plenty of- experience on the matter.” He gestured to the chalk drawing on the floor.

“So do I.” The Chef agreed.

“Yeah- that just raises more questions?” I was so confused… What could The Colonel mean? Was he speaking in riddles?

“Well I’m off to the grounds to see if I can catch a whiff of the old bag of bones, eh?” The Colonel walks off without a care.

“Wait- weren’t you and Mark the same age?” The Butler asks as The Colonel laughs boisterously.

I lean into my partner, if I can trust anyone with my detectives insight it’s them.

“All right. I don’t trust him. Then again, I don’t trust anyone.” The DA didn’t seem surprised. “All right, lock this place down. Secure the front gate. I don’t want anyone in or out of this place until we get to the bottom of this.” I ordered The Butler and Chef.

“Locks won’t keep people from getting out, sir.” The Butler timidly disagreed.

“Locks won’t” The Chef agreed. “But Chef will.” He walked out towards the front door.

“Look, you’re a real smart son of a bitch. handsome too, beautiful even.” I caressed The Butler’s face gently. “But! We don’t have time for this. I think we forgot the most important question of them all during our arousing game of whodunnit.” I began… “Why…? Why? Come, walk with me.” I gesture The DA to follow me.

We started down the hallway past the main entrance as I continued.

“Why did he invite us all here?? Why tonight?” I prompted the question neither of us had an answer to. “He said we were celebrating something, but he never specified what. It’s almost as if this whole shindig of a hootenanny was just a ruse.” I occasionally looked back at The DA who seemed to be lost in thought. Nevertheless, I continued speaking. “Mark was my friend, had been for years. But then he went quiet. I knew something was wrong, I just never figured out what…” As I went on, my body naturally came to a stop. “Now I guess I never will…” The words stung like a bullet to the heart, it was true though.

Mark is dead, he’s gone and there’s nothing I can do to bring him back. If only I had known how much danger he was in… Maybe then I never would have left him alone last night… Maybe he’d still be here.

“Look… I’m gonna level with you. You’re my new Partner. I’ve been working with them for years.” I continue walking and occasionally glancing back. “Now I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I know something is wrong. There is a murderer—“ The lightning causes us to briefly stop in our tracks. I look at The DA to make sure they’re okay. “Here amongst us, and we need to find him.” We begin climbing the staircase. “Now you look a trustworthy…somebody. I know we just met, but I am an excellent judge of character… Excellent like a fox.” I winked at them.

I smiled and fed them a line of bullshit. The truth was, I couldn’t trust them any more than the other skuzz around here. But like my late partner once said right before he died, best to keep your enemies close. Wink wink.

I suddenly stop as we head back down a flight of stairs and turn to face The DA, jutting a pointed finger at them.

“You don’t look like you have a reason to kill him. And if you do…” I laugh mischievously. “Best to keep your enemies close, eh? Wink wink.” I said as I winked at them. After that I continued my descent. “So, the real question we should be asking is: Who stood to gain the most from Mark’s death?”

The two of us continued through the manor as we talked.

“Now, in my thorough analysis of the corpse’s anal cavity, I discovered that in addition to being stabbed 37 times, he was also poisoned, beaten, strangled, drowned, and shot, in that order.” I began giving them the rundown on the autopsy. “Now, if you ask me… That’s a lotta trouble to go through to knock off one guy, and it sure as shit is no accident.” I led my Partner back up the stairs once again, continuing the conversation “No. No, my friend. There’s gonna be no simple candlestick-in-the-library solution to this whole… puzzle… So, we’re gonna have to do the detective-ly thing and go through the victim’s most private and personal possessions.” I led them to a door and they stood there with a blank expression. “Well? After you.” I prompted them.

We entered the room, it was a disaster. Bed sheets tossed on the floor, pillows, blankets, towels, and books were thrown willy nilly.

“Looks rough, but I don’t think he was killed here. Take a look around, see if you find anything, but BE CAREFUL! I’ve lost three partners before to bedroom booby traps.” I warned my new Partner.

The two of us begin to look around the mess of a room Mark left behind. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was always the state of it… I wondered if Mark had been struggling much more than I expected.

“Make sure you don’t tamper with any evidence!” I call to my partner from across the room. “Let me know if you find anything.” I add onto the previous statement.

The DA caught my attention by holding up a shattered picture frame with the colonel’s photo in it.

“You find a clue?” I inquire. While they inspect it I continue to look around, not paying much mind to who enters the room.

“You’re quite on the case, aren’t you?” The Colonel must’ve come in while I wasn’t looking. “Say, Detective? May I borrow your friend here?” He requests of me. I didn’t trust him but I hoped my Partner could squeeze some info outta him.

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed. “Don’t worry, Partner. I’ll handle it from here.” I reassured them.

“Bully…” The Colonel muttered under his breath.

The two left the room, I really hoped I could trust my Partner to get some information out of The Colonel. Perhaps a friendly ear would prompt him to confess to his alleged crimes. I continued searching the room when I found it, a news article about The Colonel. He had “allegedly” “accidentally” “killed” someone while on a safari trip and Mark covered his tracks… There it is, that’s all I needed. Motive for murder.

I tracked down The Colonel in the living room and pointed my gun at him.

“You filthy murderer!” I shouted.

“What the fuck are you on about, Detective?!” He instinctually grabbed his gun and I lunged forward to disarm him when he fired a shot, prompting me to back off. We were at a stalemate.

“ARE YOU NUTS?!” I yelled so loud my throat stung from the tension.

“Back away from me you psychopath!” The Colonel hissed.

Suddenly Damien and The DA burst in and saw the interaction unfold.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at but you better lower your weapon, you murderer!” I grip my gun tightly, so much so that my whole hand turned white. The lightning was simply white noise in comparison to this chaos.

“I bloody well won’t! You’re the one that assaulted me! For all I know, YOU could be the murderer!” He stepped closer to me as I backed further away. Once again, nobody noticed the lightning.

“What the fuuu- Oh!” The Chef ran in and was shocked to see two guns pointed at him due to our surprise by his sudden movement.

“LAST CHANCE! Drop your weapon!” I shout, prepared to fire a bullet right between his eyes. I didn’t want to do it but he was leaving me no choice.

“Master’s prized vase!!” The Butler shouted over a vase we had knocked over.

“Everyone please! I know we’re all on edge, but can’t we solve this amicably?” Damien interjected.

“On edge?! This PSYCHO tried to SHOOT ME!!” I snap back at Damien.

“That’s a bold faced lie! I was merely doing some light target practice!” The Colonel keeps stepping towards me causing me to fall back towards the front entrance.

“Inside?!” The Butler nearly had a heart attack upon hearing such a thing.

“Well, yes, I couldn’t go on the grounds now with that bloody Chef in my way, could I?” The Colonel grit his teeth angrily.

“Damn right! You should’ve remembered that, Private!” The Chef lunged at him, waving a ladle in his face. “Besides! You’re not my boss anymore!” He taps him on the head with the ladle he has clutched in his hands.

“It’s Colonel now” He looked like he was about to kill The Chef for that.

“ENOUGH OF THIS HORSESHIT!” I shout “You knew I was onto you and you were trying to whack me off before I could finger you…… As the murderer!” I trailed off as the lightning struck outside.

“I will not be called a murderer in my own home.” The Colonel furrowed his brows in rage as lightning stuck once more.

“STOP!!” Suddenly a women burst through the door.

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

“What are you doing?!” The woman shouts frustratedly.

“Who the hell are you?!” I demand.

“Celine? What are you doing here?” The Colonel’s expression softens…

"Celine? How the hell do you know her?” I once again demand answers from somebody, anybody.

“Madame, l'm afraid you've come at a very inopportune time. Something dreadful has happened here.” The Butler welcomes her remorsefully.

“I can see that, I’m just glad I got here before it got any worse.” She seemed relieved and yet worried.

“This is only the tip of the iceberg! And it's a big iceberg. How can I put this delicately…” The Chef seemed as though he was searching for the right words to say to comfort Celine and yet how can you find something to say for something like this… ”MARK'S FUCKING DEAD!” Well- so much for delicately…

“What?!” She was clearly shocked, she now seemed sad, guilty, and perhaps even a little anxious.

“Dead like my hopes and dreams…” The Chef went on… “And he’s a flesh eating zombie too!” He exclaimed.

“Homo Necrosis!” Celine repeated the same words I had heard The Colonel say…

“Exactly! Hence, the guns!” The Colonel waved his gun around like it was a toy airplane.

“That is NOT hence the guns!” I shake my gun around as a gesture.

“Stop waving those bloody guns around!” The Butler interjects.

Me and The Colonel, even The Chef with his ladle, shake our weapons in his face.

“Hol-Hold on! Tell me what happened! How did Mark…die?” Celine asked, curiously.

“It was murder.” Damien chimed in as lightning stuck outside. “And worse yet, the body is missing.” He added.

“What? Show me! And don’t say that word!” She ordered all of us.

“What word? Murder?” The Chef asked as lightning struck.

“Yes! That word!” She was insistent about it.

“Well I mean murder is a rather accurate description of what occur-“ The Butler ignored the lighting but was stopped by Celine.

“Do you not see the lightning?!” She threw up her hands.

“You sayin’ it was lightning that murdered Mark?” I asked this weirdo chick, also ignoring the lightning.

“Well, Mother Nature doesn’t exactly strike me as having murderous intent.” As the Colonel said that more lightning struck. “Unless you count that time I was sucked into the board game Jumanji and I wa-“ Celine interrupted him.

“Stop! Stop! Look, whatever’s happening here is tapping into forces far beyond our control!” She exclaims.

Everyone looks around at each other until we all look at The Chef.

“Murder” He says quietly with a cheeky smile as lightning strikes…

“Mur….doch?” The colonel tests the waters and nothing happens.

“Malarkey.” I decide to try it out as well, once again nothing occurred.

We all look to The Butler.

“Marco!” He exclaims as the loudest of the lightning strikes.

“ENOUGH!” Celine shouts and suddenly we’re all sat down at a table. “Look… Mark’s death is a terrible thing indeed. But I fear that there are forces much darker than anything we’ve seen here today.” Celine began. “I’m well versed in the arcane arts, but if you, untrained and uninitiated can summon lightning with a mere word… We’re all in far graver danger than anything we could ever hope to face alone.” She continued… “We’re gonna have to work together if we’re gonna survive this.” Celine seemed to have a plan in mind but what good would witchcraft do? My job was to solve this whodunnit…

“Celine, what are you proposing?” Damien seemed worried.

“We need to speak with Mark.” Celine kept it vague as if she couldn’t trust any of us with this information.

“I knew it! He’s a flesh eating zombie!” The Chef slams his hands on the table.

“No…” Celine sighs, defeated.

“Well, maybe one of those smart zombies: homeo sapio zombifus!” The Colonel proposed.

“No! No! I need to commune with the dead.” She finally put her real intentions out there.

“That doesn’t sound like a good Idea.” I advised against it.

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t need your permission.” She glared at me. “But, YOU!” She pointed right at my Partner. “You’ve been awfully quiet through this whole thing.” Celine pointed out…

She did have a point, I didn’t even know my Partner’s name. All I knew was that they were the most goddamn handsome and/or beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes upon.

“With those beady little eyes.” The Chef added onto Celine’s statements about my so-called partner.

“And wearing THOSE rags? pff..” The Butler scoffed.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted someone so goddamn gorgeous.” I shook my head in disappointment.

They looked towards The Colonel who didn’t notice at first.

“Oh- I’ll pass.” He refuses to add on.

“But I feel like I can trust you… I sense you have a far greater part to play in all of this.” Celine continues, staring deeply into The DA’s eyes. “Will you help me find an answer?” She asks them patiently awaiting an answer.

The DA thinks for a moment and then nods. They had made up their mind and I knew there was no changing it… But still, this was too dangerous and I had lost too many partners to allow this.

“Alright, that's enough. I'm not gonna just sit around and let you drag my Partner off to their very likely death. I won't stand for it!” I stood up, angry with Celine for dragging them into this messed up game.

“Well I trust Celine with all my heart! I see no reason why an-any-any one should doubt her!” The Colonel, too, stands up, slamming his hands down on the table.

“Well, I have to agree with our intrepid detective here. It just doesn’t seem natural.” The Butler sided with me on the matter.

“I never liked this uptight asshole. He walks around with a stick up his ass.” The Chef shakes a finger toward The Butler. “But I think he’s right… Something’s weird.” He ends up agreeing with him in the end…

“If it makes you feel any better, you guys can stand watch outside the door, but my work CANNOT be interrupted.” Celine tries to negotiate but this still didn’t sit right with me.

“Oh believe you me. I’ll be keeping a close eye on every single one of you.” I began, looking around at all these guests… I knew one of them had killed Mark and I was going to bring them to justice. “Even myself… Especially myself.” I finished.

Celine got up from the table hurriedly, Damien and The DA following close behind as they all went upstairs.

The rest of us stared at each other, waiting for someone to break the silence.

“I’m going to grab a drink from the kitchen, I’m parched.” The Colonel was the first to speak up after what had just happened. He stood up and began towards the kitchen.

“Oh yeah? Well I’m going to make sure my Partner’s okay in there.” I try to one up him and quickly follow the others up the stairs.

Me and Damien waited outside the room in silence, just listening in. We hoped that maybe we’d get some insight too. Eventually we heard Celine shouting about something and I knew I had to stop this.

“What the shit is this?!” I barge into the room seeing The DA at a small table across from Celine. On the table, there’s various candles, and tarot cards, along with crystals scattered around like stars in the sky. I knew this ‘Celine’ character was bluffing about being a seer..

“Get out! We are not done here!” Celine hissed at me, pissed that I was here.

“Celine, I think this is quite enough.” Damien, the voice of reason chimed in.

“It’s enough when I SAY ITS ENOUGH!” She violently slams her hands down onto the table as she bickers with Damien.

As this went on I grabbed a piece of paper that had fallen off the table. I looked at it and it was a drawing of what looked to be a gardener… What could it mean- A groundskeeper. I had to find The Butler.

“C’mon Partner, let’s go.” I try to get their attention but they’re hyper-focused on the argument “Come on! Hurry it up!” I grab their arm and lead them out of the room.

I pulled them further and further away from whatever mess Celine dragged you into.

“What did she do to you? What is this?” I was at a loss for what to even say “Butler! Butler!” I cried.

“What? What is it?!” The Butler exclaimed, confused.

“This mean anything to you?” I asked him, hoping to catch him in a lie.

I showed him the drawing and The Chef arrived soon after, drawn by the commotion. He stared at it for a moment and then opened his mouth, hesitating before saying anything.

“Well, maybe… no, sorry.” He shook his head.

“Spit it out if you got something!!” I urge him to continue.

“Well… it could be our groundskeeper, George, but he only works on the weekdays.” The Butler admitted.

As The Butler said this my eyes wandered over to the chef who was super fidgety and nervous. He must know more than he’s letting on.

“Looks like your friend here may disagree with that notion.” I cross my arms, staring at him and waiting for an answer.

“Me?” The Chef tried to act surprised but I could smell a lie even if it was deep fried and fed to a hippo.

“Yeah, you.” I sarcastically remark.

“Uh… I don’t know shit man! I plead the fifth, man!” He nervously stood his ground.

“Chef, if you know something, for god’s sake spit it out!” The Butler for once was reasonable.

“Okay, all right, you’re twisting my arm” He began. “All right, George has been living on the grounds for years.” He finally spat it out.

“WHAT?!” The Butler was mortified.

“And you just now thought to share that information with us?!” To say I was shocked in an understatement… This revelation could have solved everything. “For all we know, HE could be the murderer!” I shout as lightning strikes once again.

“For the last time, stop saying that word.” Celine joins us in the hallway, Damien in her wake.

“Look, George just tends to the grounds, man. He’s a fuckin’ hermit!” The Chef is insistent that this George has nothing to do with what occurred last night.

“I don’t care what the fuck he is!” I disagree, this guy could have killed Mark in his own home.

“Look, all of this arguing is getting us nowhere! Just go outside and talk to this George and be done with it!” Damien was obviously fed up with the investigations and interrogations.

“Hold on a sec? You’re not coming with us?” I scoff, after everything that happened he still thinks he can just sit by idly?!

“I-I need to stay here with Celine.” He gripped his cane tightly.

“I don’t need help! Especially from YOU!” Celine scoffed, turning away from Damien.

“OUR FRIEND IS DEAD!” Damien shouts but then regrets raising his voice. He’s breathing heavily, the man is clearly frustrated. “I’m sorry… I just need answers to all of this. I already lost one friend today. I don’t want to lose another…” He admits his fear of losing Celine…

“Fine… but I need to stay here.” She sighs, turning back to Damien.

“Fine with me.” He nods.

“Fine, good, yeah, whatever, who cares? All right, you’re coming with me!” I look at The Chef, pointing a finger at him. “Partner, you too.” I look at The DA and we begin to walk towards the stairs when I realized it. “Hold on a sec… we’re missing somebody. Who had eyes on The Colonel?” I couldn’t believe my carelessness.

“Well, he appeared tired and went back to his room.” The Butler explained.

“I’m sure he did. And with any luck, he’ll stay there. All right, let’s roll out. Come on.” I gesture for everyone to start moving, we didn’t have much time. That George guy could flee at any moment.

I grab The Chef, making him lead us to George.

“Move it! Come on, Partner, come on!” I call out.

We made our way down the stairs, stopping at the back door.

“Lead the way cookie.” I insult him.

“Cookie? I’m not your cookie! I spent three weeks at culinary school!! I earned the right to be called a chef!” He got in my face, shouting.

“I’m very impressed.” I sarcastically compliment him. “Just tell us where we’re going!” I order. He looks as though he wants to fight back but bites his tongue. I shove him towards the door. “Come on! Let’s go!” I was fed up with this bullshit. It’s time to end all of this.

We go through the doors, walking around the old stone bricked building. This manor would be beautiful if not for the skeletons in its closet. But that wasn’t important… As we come around to the old stone stairs I see him, tending to the grass in the middle of the night.

I turn to look at my Partner who’s still following close behind. They give me a strange look, wondering why I’m staring at them.

“I think I see him.” I finally point out. We descend the stairs and I pull out my gun, pointing it at him. “Hey! Buddy! Hands where I can see ‘em!” I shout angrily.

“Hey, my hands are where they’re supposed to be. Unless, of course, you’d like to dig the hole for yourself.” He seemed aloof and as if this was no big deal. But…

He was right… I didn’t realize it before. It had been too dark to see but he really was digging a large hole…

“What the hell are you doing here?!” I come closer, expecting him to make a break for it soon.

“I’m the groundskeeper. I keep the ground, all right??” He rested the shovel on the ground, leaning on it like it was a cane. “I’d say, look around! The ground is pretty well kept in this place right?” He gestured his free hand towards the grounds.

“I’m sorry man. This DICK made me bring him out here!” The Chef pointed at me aggressively.

“You shut up!” I spat. “How do you not know about the murders going on in this house?” I asked, shocked by the lightning that struck over my head. “How do you not hear that lightning!” I gesture to the sky.

“Lightning is the sky’s business! Look at the ground! When the ground starts shooting up lightning, I’ll let you know!” George sarcastically responded.

“Alright then, smartass, why exactly are you digging that hole? And why shouldn't we suspect you for taking part in the death of your employer?” I interrogate him further. He just laughs.

“Employers come and go! Some die, some don't, some are murdered, some are not. It's not my business!” He rolls his eyes. “I’m digging this hole for a burst water pipe, if that’s all right with your gracefulness?!” His sarcasm was really starting to piss me off.

“See? I told you! George didn’t do nothin’ man!” The Chef spat at me.

“See?” George slams his shovel into the ground. “I just did nothing.” He scoffs.

“Forgive me for not taking you at face value.” I began sarcastically. “But we’re all gonna come inside, we’re gonna sit down, and have a nice lovely chat. And get to the bottom of this before I lose my mind and start dabbling in murder myself” The lightning is so expected now I didn’t even really react to it as much as I used to.

“Now you listen to me, sonny!” George begins, angrily. “It’s been fifteen years since I’ve been in that house and I am not about to break that winning streak now.” He shakes his head. “I don’t care how many murders there’ve been. I ain’t going near that house!” He was very insistent on it

The thing is, that just won’t cut it. We need everyone in the house so we can finally discuss everyone’s alibis. I need answers, not just for myself… But so Mark’s soul can move on.

Before I could think of something to say that would convince him, he started back up.

“However, there is one reason. One incident. One manifestation. That will get me to go into that mad house.” He finished as a silence washed over all of us… “And you had better pray to God that that reason never comes to pass.” He broke the silence created by him.

Suddenly a big flash of lightning strikes above the manor as all the windows inside shone brighter than the sun.

“THAT THERE’S THE REASON!” George shouts as he runs towards the manor.

We follow him as he heads up the stairs.

“Go, go, go!” I shout, making sure my Partner is still okay.

As we run, we pass by The Colonel who’s in complete shock. Then a door flies open and Celine emerges with an eerie light cast on her. I didn’t know what to do, I just stood there pointing my gun at her.

“Somebody help me!!” George shouts as he struggles to close the door.

The DA runs to his side, successfully helping him shut the door on Celine.

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

George locks the doors with an old set of keys. Suddenly the house went back to normal.

“What the hell is going on?” The Colonel walks over to us, confused by the ruckus. “Where’s Celine?!” He asks, unusually concerned for her.

“She’s gone, and so is everything else.” George says bluntly, as he begins to walk away.

“Wait a minute! Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” I shout.

“Away from here! This place is cursed. If you had half a brain you’d all do the same.” He spat, leaving without a second thought.

“Don’t walk away from me! Where’s Celine?! Where’s Damien?!” The Colonel shouts, frustrated with the lack of answers.

“I’ve spent 25 years cooking for these uppity fucks! I’m not about to die for ‘em! I quit! Bitch!” The Chef shouts, leaving as well.

“I know things seem far beyond your control right now, but such that it is for all of us here. I shall take my leave and I implore you to do the same.” The Butler rests his hand on The Colonel’s shoulder.

“I won’t let my friends die in this godforsaken house!” He begins angrily. “And if you all are too much of a coward to do the same, you had best leave before I kill you myself!” The Colonel looks more angry than I’ve ever seen him. But he walks away without another word.

“Now you hold on a second, I’ve got more questions!” I shout after him, grabbing his arm.

“Get your hands off me!” He pushes me away, storming off.

“What the hell is going on here?!” I ask The DA before chasing after the colonel.

I chased him to his room but he slammed the door on my face, locking it.

“You can’t hide in there forever!” I shout.

“Oh yes I can!” He taunts me.

“I’m going to find something to break this damn door down, let’s see who’s laughing then!” I scream.

I left to go find a crowbar or an axe or even a simple lock-pick. I searched everywhere until settling for a slim, thin knife from the kitchen. I head back up to the colonel’s room, fiddling with the lock when I heard it.

“DETECTIVE!” The Colonel shouts from behind me, with a gun pointed at my head and The DA in his wake. Instinctually, I pull out my gun.

“You’d better choose your next words carefully, Colonel.” I grip my gun tightly, ready to fire.

“Only my friends get to call me that name by that name, and you, sir, are NO friend of mine!” He shouts angrily.

“Well you’re one to talk about friends, you Murderer!” I scream accusations at him as the lightning strikes.

“I didn’t kill anybody! This is MADNESS!” He doubles down.

“Oh? You wanna talk about madness? Madness is stealing your best friend’s wife!!” I had put two and two together… It took me awhile to piece the puzzle pieces together but now it made sense. I had heard Mark mention a Celine and divorce long ago… and seeing how the two of them acted together, it wad clear to me that The Colonel was the reason for the divorce. Not to mention the article I found about The Colonel receiving money from Mark. “Madness is squeezing him for cash to fund your own sick sexual exploits with that very woman!” I scream flying accusation after accusation at him, waiting for him to crack.

“SHUT UP!” He shrieks

“Madness is plotting the death of your childhood friend because you can’t handle the—“ Before I could finish there was a gunshot… Did… Did I shoot him?

I fell to the ground as the world around me went dark… I knew that this was the end for me.. I wanted one last look at my Partner but then another gunshot rang and my partner fell backwards down the stairs. I closed my eyes and embraced the darkness.

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

I woke up in the hospital, my boss sitting next to me. He stood up upon seeing me awake.

“Abe!! Thank the gods you’re okay! Who did this?! Who shot you??” He held my hand, desperate to catch my attempted murderer.

“The… Colonel.” I whimpered weakly before the room went dark once more

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

back next

[mosthomoeroticenemies]

The Contestants

Cherik (Professor X/Magneto) - X-Men

Fuffy (Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Megop (Optimus Prime/Megatron) - Transformers

Curtwen (Curt Mega/Owen Carvour) - Spies are Forever

Thoschei (The Doctor/The Master) - Doctor Who

Perryshmirtz (Perry the Platypus/Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) - Phineas and Ferb

Catradora (Adora/Catra) - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Soukoku (Osamu Dazai/Chuuya Nakahara) - Bungo Stray Dogs

c!TnTDuo (c!Quackity/c!Wilbur Soot) - Dream SMP

Spy/Supervillain - Genghis Khan by Miike Snow

Batman/Joker - Lego Batman

Wrightworth (Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth) - Ace Attorney

Batjokes (Batman/Joker) - Batman

Lawlight (L/Light Yagami) - Death Note

Bowiugi (Bowser/Luigi) - Mario

Stanarrator (Narrator/Stanley) - The Stanley Parable

Kidlaw (Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law) - One Piece

Shuake (Goro Akechi/Akira Kurusu) - Persona 5

Cuttletavio (Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio) - Splatoon

Gethan (Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Zosan (Roronoa Zoro/Sanji) - One Piece

ChellDOS (Chell/GLaDOS) - Portal

Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot - The New Testament

Gwensuzie (Gwen Cooper/Suzie Costello) - Torchwood

Krisnix (Phoenix Wright/Kristoph Gavin) - Ace Attorney

Griffguts (Guts/Griffith) - Berserk

Hannigram (Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter) - Hannibal

Ghiralink (Ghirahim/Link) - Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Valvert (Javert/Jean Valjean) - Les Miserables

Abestache (Detective Abe Lincoln/Wilford Warfstache) - Markiplier Cinematic Universe

Sasunaru (Naruto/Sasuke) - Naruto

Jedediah/Octavius - Night at the Museum

Nami/Kalifa - One Piece

Gabv1el (V1/Gabriel) - Ultrakill

Kazumaji (Kazuma Kiryu/Goro Majima) - Yakuza

Zukka (Zuko/Sokka) - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Ineffable Husbands (Aziraphale/Crowley) - Good Omens

Billford (Bill Cipher/Stanford Pines) - Gravity Falls

Evelyn Deavor/Elastigirl - Incredibles 2

Jennifer Check/Needy Lesnicki - Jennifer’s Body

Kigo (Kim Possible/Shego) - Kim Possible

Sportarobbie (Sportacus/Robbie Rotten) - Lazy Town

Swan Queen (Emma Swan/Regina Mills) - Once Upon a Time

Hardenshipping (Magma Leader Maxie/Aqua Leader Archie) -Pokemon OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire

Westley/Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride

Sonadow (Sonic/Shadow) - Sonic the Hedgehog

Plabs (Plankton/Mr. Krabs) - SpongeBob SquarePants

Kylux (General Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren) - Star Wars

Johnchurch (Merle Highchurch/John Hunger) - The Adventure Zone: Balance

Basigan (Professor Ratigan/Basil of Baker Street) - The Great Mouse Detective

LonelyEyes (Elias Buchard/Peter Lukas) - The Magnus Archives

Johnjack (Jack Harkness/John Hart) - Torchwood

Blicy (Bloom/Icy) - Winx Club

Riddlebat (Batman/The Riddler) - Batman comics

Shin Soukoku (Atsushi Nakajima/Ryuunosuke Akutagawa) - Bungo Stray Dogs

Snowbaz (Baz Pitch/Simon Snow) - Carry On

Komahina (Nagito Komaeda/Hajime Hinata) - Danganronpa

Wonder Woman/Cheetah - DC

Spamvil (Jevil/Spamton) - Deltarune

Rk1000 (Connor/Markus) - Detroit: Become Human

John McClane/Hans Gruber - Die Hard

Fenders (Fenris/Anders) - Dragon Age 2

Vegekaka (Goku/Vegeta) - Dragon Ball Z

Rapple (Apple White/Raven Queen) - Ever After High

Billdip (Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines) - Gravity Falls

Radiostatic (Vox/Alastor) - Hazbin Hotel

Sirdust (Angel Dust/Sir Pretious) - Hazbin Hotel

Fengqing (Feng Xin/Mu Qing) - Heaven Official’s Blessing

Blitzer (Blitzø/Striker) - Helluva Boss

Martha May Whovier/Betty Lou Who - How the Grinch Stole Christmas

ZaDr (Zim/Dib) - Invader Zim

Sarumi (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki) - K Project

Metadede (King Dedede/Meta Knight) - Kirby

Gandalf/Sauron - Lord of the Rings

Island Husbands (Ben Linus/John Locke) - Lost

Metromind (Megamind/Metro Man) - Megamind

Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty) - Moriarty the Patriot

Bujeet (Buford/Bajeet) - Phineas and Ferb

Grovyle/Dusknoir - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky

Shassie (Shawn Spencer/Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter) - Psych

Rayaari (Raya/Namaari) - Raya and the Last Dragon

Tycutio (Mercutio/Tybalt) - Romeo and Juliet

Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty) - Sherlock

Obikin (Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi) - Star Wars

Obimaul (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul) - Star Wars

Oncelax (The Onceler/The Lorax) - The Lorax

Owen Harper/Mark Lynch - Torchwood

Lord Hater/Wander - Wander Over Yonder

Gelphie (Elphaba/Galinda) - Wicked

Cruellanita (Cruella de Vil/Anita) - 101 Dalmations

Angelo Lagusa/Nero Vanetti - 91 Days

Discotrain (The Conductor/DJ Grooves) - A Hat in Time

Klapollo (Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice) - Ace Attorney

Wrightdot (Godot/Phoenix Wright) - Ace Attorney

Kaneda/Tetsuo - Akira

Sydney Bristow/Lauren Reed - Alias

Ellen Ripley/The Xenomorph - Alien

Zadison (Zoe Benson/Madison Montgomery) - American Horror Story: Coven

Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan - Archer

Y’all (The Poll Takers)/Me (The Poll Maker) - askeletonwar

Just Walk Out!/Papyrus - askeletonwar

Londo Mollari/G’kar - Babylon 5

Rampage/Depth Charge - Beast Wars: Transformers

Pinariz (Riz/Pina) - Beastars

Kunieda Aoi/Hildegarde - Beezlebub

Sebagrell (Grell/Sebastian) - Black Butler

Gus Fring/Walter White - Breaking Bad

Spangel (Spike/Angel) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spuffy (Spike/Buffy) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Winteriron (Tony Stark/The Winter Soldier) - Captain America: Civil War

Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Carulia (Carmen Sandiego/Julia Argent) - Carmen Sandiego

Macavity/Munkustrap - Cats (1998)

Caius Marcius Coriolanus/Tullus Aufidius - Coriolanus

Dean Pelton/Dean Spreck - Community

Shadowghast (Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss) - Critical Role

Blumentrio (Caleb Widogast/Eadwulf Grieve/Astrid Becke) -Critical Role

Theopin (Lapin Cadbury/Sir Theobald Gumbar) - D20: A Crown of Candy

Hero/Villain - dannyphantom.exe

Clex (Superman/Lex Luthor) - DC

Babsquinn (Batgirl/Harley Quinn) - DC

Seavil (Jevil/Seam) - Deltarune

Rengoku Kyoujurou/Akaza - Demon Slayer

Mal/Uma - Descendants

Reed800 (Connor/Gavin Reed) - Detroit: Become Human

Ryokira (Akira/Ryo) - Devilman

Maxwil (Maxwell/Wilson) - Don't Starve

Nikki/Mackenzie - Dork Diaries

Gell/Frisky - Dot X

Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer - Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Count Dracula/Jonathan Harker - Dracula

Joan Watson/Jamie Moriarty - Elementary

Zerxus Ilerez/Asmodeus - Exandria Unlimited: Calamity

Gratsu (Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster) - Fairy Tail

Gary/John - Faith

Peter Griffin/The Chicken - Family Guy

John Crichton/Scorpius - Farscape

Emiya Archer/Cu Chulainn - Fate Stay Night

Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth - Final Fantasy VII

Cidnero (Nero tol Scaeva/Cid Garlond) - Final Fantasy XIV

Willry (Henry Emily/William Afton) - Five Nights at Freddy’s

Victor Frankenstein/The Monster - Frankenstein

Cure Peach/Eas - Fresh Pretty Cure!

Haikaveh (Alhaitham/Kaveh) - Genshin Impact

Sugio (Sugimoto/Ogata) - Golden Kamuy

Nygmobblepot (Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot) - Gotham

Mabifica (Mabel Pines/Pacifica Northwest) - Gravity Falls

Kagehina (Hinata/Kageyama) - Haikyuu!

[boobookiss]

Personally I just feel like Wilford and Abe being hard masc x hyperfem is everything.. Full stop.

I know Wilford dresses like a 1920s carnival barker most of the time but you sit here and tell me he wouldn't also rock up to that detective in some 2 inch gaudy open toed heels, no glue no borax

[ericson-derekson]

Intro post, I guess, I don't really know what I'm doing.

@blank-game-plays <- That's also me

Eric has a tiny void kitten now :] her name's Zoe

People usually start with rules, right?

No nsfw

No asking about contriversial topics

The baisics

TLDR of how I portray Eric-

Severe social anxiety(which is easy for me to rp cuz I had severe social anxiety all through last year [not as severe anymore but])

The others gave him the courage to stand up to Derek, so he's on his own now

Started a small business- he makes treats for pets; dogs, cats, birds, etc. [No I didn't pull that idea out of my ass just now and no I didn't literally look up 'cute entrepreneurship ideas' which resaulted in the pulling out of the ass.]

Wanted to work at the zoo but there were no open spots.

Just wants to talk to people.[me too t-t]

Guess I'll make tags too. WHY NOT?:

someone said hi!: asks

EEP: rp threads

lookitlookit: reblogs

sayin stuffs: original posts

LISTEN TO MA BULLSHIT: ooc posts[wont be many]

Guess that's it. I mean I do ship Yancy x Eric but that'll prolly stay outa here.

Yknow what? Gonna give people some tags too. Why? Idk, why not?:

Comforting shadows: @fromthedeskof-darkiplier

Pop; bubble; fizz: @respect-the-stache

The superest hero: @mostdefinetlyjackieboyman

Static music: Host

Snek: @ceoegos Actor

Candy bubbles: @ceoegos Wilford

Turtles: @antisepticeye-simp

Tortuga el gato: AB ^^ Antis' cat

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

“𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒆”

—❢—

×A/N×

Hi! ^^

This is first version of my previous Damien x Reader oneshot.

The original genre was angst mixed with fluff. The angst part is very bad, but I think the fluff part is fine :D

×❢ About my work ❢×

the reader's death, Abe the Detective's death, gun warning, the universe is the wkm, Damien comforts Y/N-, fluff, shitty angst

Type: Oneshot

Fandom: Markiplier Cinematic Universe (WKM)

Character(s): Damien, Y/N, The Colonel, Abe the Detective

Ship(s): Damien x Reader

—❢—

𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈: (I don't have one yet-)

Your heart beated very fast and very loud. You could feel how The Colonel shaking next to you.

Frustration and anger were in the air.

You could tell that The Colonel will lose the control soon.

"Well, you're one to talk about friends, you murderer!" said the Detective while pointed the gun on Wilford. As the thunder cracked, you yelped a little.

"I didn't kill anybody! This is madness!" shouted Wilford, the gun was shaking with his hands.

You were scared. You shaked crazily. You didn't know what to do, you just hoped about nothing bad will happen.

"Oh you wanna talk about madness? Madness is stealing your best friend's wife." You felt as the adrenaline grows in both of them, especially in The Colonel.

"Madness is squeezing him for cash to fund your own sick sexual explicits with that very woman–"

"Shut up!" yelled William. You tried to calm him down, but he ignored or pushed you away from him. Your actions were useless.

You didn't know what to do. Your friends were nowhere. You couldn't ask for help. You were alone. You felt as tears growning in your eyes. You were panicking.

"Madness" continued his monologue the Detective. Like you three needed more frustration. "is plotting the death of your childhood friend because you can't handle the–" You catched Wilford's arm, like you could change anything... But it was too late. You heard the loud sound, and saw in your side of your eyes as the Detective fell on the ground. Wilford turned to you quickly at your touch and pointed the gun at you. That's when you felt the pain in your chest, your vision got blurry as you fell.

"It was an accident."

The last thing that you heard before the darkness.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Y/N!" you heard a soft tone with a gentle touch on your back. "Y/N, wake up. Wake up, Dear." Damien? You still shaked. You couldn't process what happened. Why is Damien here? And where is 'here'?

The person helped you stand up. You felt like the whole world would spin with you.You felt as you fell into the person's arm. This smell, the soft touch of the fabric, this voice... No, it can't be. You vision got cleaner. You looked up at the person. You felt as your heart skip a beat as you looked in his eyes.

"Damien?" your vision got blurry again, this time of the tears in your eyes.

"Yes, Dear?" He was still holding you gently. You still shaked like hell, starting crying again as you squeezed his uniform. This all were too much for you. First you feel a bullet in your chest as you slowly bleed to death, then you wake up in this creepy, dark place, with your dead friend's arms.

"Hey, it's okay!" he whispered in your ear as he hugged you tightly.

"Everything will be okay, Darling."

[rj0186]

Hello there! Welcome to the circus I call my Tumblr account where I mostly post Aesthetic Collages of my favorite characters!

Here is a masterlist of all the Aesthetic Collages I've done/ones I hope to do in the future.

The list isn't complete and will be added too!

Bendy And The Ink Machine

Henry Stein

Demon!Henry Stein

Sammy Lawrence

Norman Polk

Wally Franks

Joey Drew

Allison Pendle

Susie Campbell

Shawn Flynn

Bendy

Boris

Audrey Drew

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Hawkeye

Steve Rogers

Sam Wilson

Netflix!Daredevil

Ultimate Spider-Man

Spider-Man

Iron Fist

Nova

White Tiger

Power Man

The Lizard

My Hero Academia

Shota Aizawa

Tamaki Amajiki

Present Mic

All Might

Izuku Midoriya

Tenya Iida

Fatgum

Hitoshi Shinsou

Sir Nighteye

Twice

Kurogiri

Shoto Todoroki

Ninjago

Kai

Jay

Zane

Cole

Lloyd

Nya

Sensei Wu

Sensei Garmadon

Pixel

Gravity Falls

Stanley Pines

Stanford Pines

Dipper Pines

Mabel Pines

Bill Cipher

Gravity Falls

Stan & Ford

Dipper & Mabel

Portal!Ford

Grifter!Stan

Star Trek (TOS)

Captain Kirk

Spock

Dr. McCoy

MCU (Markiplier Connected Universe)

Damien

Actor!Mark

Wilford Warfstache

Abe

Celine

The D.A.

Yancy

Heist!Mark

Engineer!Mark

Engineer!Mark 2

The Captain

Darkiplier

Unus

Annus

Unus & Annus

A Heist With Markiplier (canon ending)

DC

Red Robin

Red Hood

Robin (Damien Wayne)

Batman

Young Justice:

Robin (Dick Grayson)

Wally West

Superboy

Red Arrow

Artemis

Blue Beetle

Nightwing

Arrowverse:

The Flash

Cisco Ramon

Caitlin Snow

Harrison Wells

Barry Allen

Reverse Flash

Green Arrow

Oliver Queen

Felicity Smoak

John Diggle

Roy Harper

Rip Hunter

Sara Lance

Gideon

Nate Heywood

Ray Palmer

Mick Rory

Martin Stein

Jefferson Jackson

Firestorm

Five Nights At Freddy's

Movie!Mike

Michael Afton

William Afton

C.C.

Elizabeth Afton

Henry Emily

Charlie Emily

Freddy Fazbear

Bonnie

Chica

Foxy

Withered Bonnie

Golden Freddy

The Puppet

Five Nights At Freddy's (The Movie)

Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

Leon Kennedy

Luis Serra

Ashley Graham

Youtubers/Others

8-BitRyan

Dawko

Thinknoodles

Lixian

Star-Going-Supernova

Other Egos

Dawktrap

Antisepticeye

Star Wars

The Mandalorian

Miscellaneous

Phone Lock Screen

Merlin

Merlin

Arthur

Gwaine

Lancelot

Gwen

Morgana

Leon

Elyan

Percival

Spy x Family

Loid Forger

Yor Forger

Anya Forger

Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles

Percy Jackson

Annabeth Chase

Nico Di Angelo

Carter Kane

Sadie Kane

[whats-those]

[Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: Mild gun violence, mild swearing

Fandoms: Who Killed Markiplier?

Relationships: Abe the detective/Wilford Warfstache (Abestache)

Summary: Abe has another crisis shortly after the first one. Wilford M. Warfstache is there to help him through it once more.

Words: 2483 (1/1 chapters)]

———

I! Love! These! Two! This is just a short story that takes place directly after WMLW about them getting together and Abe trying to figure out how to live in a world that doesn't make sense. There is minimal plot and no resolution but it's cute! And angsty! I like how it turned out. I really don't like the title though... (edit: I changed the title)

This might be the rarest rarepair that I ship so I felt it was my obligation to contribute to the depressingly tiny amount of content that exists for it. Please read and enjoy if you're a fellow fan of Abestache!

[dramaticalcorgi]

give me all ur soft wilf + abe stuff id like To Hear it

GOD im so sorry for saying i want ot talk about wilford x abe and then dipping i had to go back to work AJKDASDa so sorry if this is late

but ANYWAY … have some soft boy facts

wilford is a CUDDLER. he cuddles into abe at any chance he gets. whenever they go on a dinner date wilford sits next to abe instead of across from him so he can nuzzle into him (also so he can steal his food easily)

wilford joins abe during his investigations often, sometimes without even telling him. for example. abe would be doing his job and wilford suddenly pops out like “i think the boyfriend did it”. abe likes the company though. its nice to have a partner that doesnt mysteriously die right away.

wilford has a LOT pet names for abe. it gets to a point where abe wonders if wilford even remembers his name

abe on the other hand doesnt. most of the time he calls him “will” or “honey”. wilford nearly cried of happiness the first time abe called him “honey”

wilford wears abe’s sweaters/hoodies a lot

they go out dancing every week.

abe helps wilford out a lot when wilford cant remember something. abe is super patient with him.

wilford and abe own a german shepherd named rocky. abe came home with him one day, telling wilford that it was a retired k9 unit dog that needed a home. wilford was so happy because he always wanted a dog but abe would always tell him “no”

the other egos like abe. dark is a little weird around him. dark never really stays in the same room as him for too long…

[abe-the-detective-blog]

Wilford has two hands. One for his emo husband and the other for his detective husband.

[chasebrodyisagoodbean]

Bi/Pan Solidarity!! 

(flags by @sapphic-flags!) 

[reinxxoi]

𝕄𝕦𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ๋࣭݁ ⭑🪩๋࣭ ⭑. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

₊ ⊹✮.* ⋆ :.𖥔 ݁ ⊹✮ ⋆｡°✩ . ݁₊ ⊹

Wilford Warfstache x Detective Abe

Who Killed Markiplier Fanfiction

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲

Detective Abe has Mark to thank for beating his struggles with addiction. Now that he’s well established in his career he has no problem avoiding alcohol until he receives an invitation to poker night at Markiplier Manor.

When the night goes from harmless fun to an unsolved murder, Abe is tasked with finding out who dunnit. This choice results in him being shot through the heart and on a manhunt for three years searching for Colonel William J. Barnum.

When he finally encounters him, there are more feelings than anger that Abe feels towards the man who stole everything from him.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬?

New chapters will come out as I write them. Please do not rush me as I experience burnout very easily.

Playlist

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

Homophobia, Murder, Violence, Drugs, Sex, Mental Health, Suicide, and Addiction.

Other than that, please enjoy Murder at the Disco!

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Prologue- Who Killed Markiplier?

Chapter 1- Fame, Guts, Glory

Chapter 2- A Dead End Road

𐙚°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•°🥂⋆.ೃ🪩*•♡☾‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧‎‧₊˚✧🪩✧˚₊‧

[bnuyfrowns]

prompts prompts prompts!!

i wanna write things for mark’s egos,, but i am absolutely horrible at coming up with ideas!! so, if you guys could send me prompts to write about, that’d be awesome!! i wanna get into writing more, because it’s a good de-stressor for me and i enjoy it. 

i’ll do a lot of ships, or friendships, or even just a thing about one specific ego. 

but please! apart from sexual stuff, i’d be happy to write just about anything! just reply to this, or send through asks, or whatever. but please!!  

[a-clueless-moron-all-of-the-time]

Wrong fandom but I fucking ship Abe and Wilford so god damn hard