#dr. iplier x the host

[doctordiscord123]

Could I request a small follow up to “Who’s who again”? Like adjusting back to their own bodies, or lingering effects of the spell?

In reference to this work here.

The Host sat in his library, silent, and staring at nothing. He'd come down here to work, but...he couldn't really focus on that. All he could do was play the images of Dr. Iplier's face over and over in his mind, committing them to permanent memory, knowing he'd never have a chance like that again.

He knew it'd been Hell for Dr. Iplier. No one, and he meant no one should have to experience the Host's visions besides himself. They were a burden, he knew that, violent and bloody and often left him powerless despite knowing. The Host had had over a decade to get used to them, to learn how to deal and cope with the power that had sprung from his blindness. Dr. Iplier...had none of that, combined with the sudden loss of sight -- the man was still adjusting to the light a dew days later, even after only a week in darkness.

...But for the Host...he'd gotten to see. He'd gotten to see his family, his love -- his only lament was that he could never truly see the natural expressions of Dr. Iplier, the way he smiled or laughed, the way he pouted or how grumpy he looked in the mornings. Those things had been mirrored onto the Host's face, and he could imagine, sure...but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same, and the feeling left a cold pit in his stomach that wouldn't go away.

Somewhere above, he heard the telltale squeak of the library door opening, and not long after, footsteps were moving into his sanctuary, and a chin rested on his shoulder. "Hey." Dr. Iplier kissed his temple, then took one of his hands, pressing a warm mug into it. "Brought you some hot chocolate. Wilford made it, so you know it's good."

The Host smiled. "Thanks. What brings the good doctor down here?"

There was a brief pause, and a mumbled narration told him Dr. Iplier was raising an eyebrow. Such a pity, he had to go through the extra step... "Are you kidding? I can practically hear you thinking all the way upstairs. What's wrong?" Another pause. "Still thinking about the body swap?"

The Host sighed, and set the mug on his desk. Dr. Iplier promptly sat himself in his lap. "Just -- thinking. It --" He gestured to his own face. "The blindness, it feels -- darker, somehow, now. Just taking some getting used to."

"...Yeah. Now that I know what that feels like, it sucks! It's so --" Dr. Iplier waved a hand in the air, trying to find the word.

"Isolating?"

"A bit. Even with you there, knowing you were there, it's easy to feel alone when you can't actually see other people in the room. But you know all that already. Don't need my ass explaining it to you." This. This was a time the Host wished he knew what Dr. Iplier's pout really looked like.

In any case, he just shrugged, and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Dr. Iplier's chest. "All the same...it's nice they have this as a shared experience now." He picked up Dr. Iplier's hand, running a finger over his wedding band, before kissing the back of that. "Just one more thing they've been through together, hm?"

Dr. Iplier sighed, and leaned against the Host more. "Just one more thing."

[distracted-milkshake]

Absolutely been done before but I wanted to feature some characters I don’t see as often less common versions as well as some of my favorites

If you can name them all, respect

First image left to right: Bim Trimmer, The Host (only acceptable ship hostshipping 🙏), Dr. Plier, Darkiplier, Wilford Warfstache, Hee Hoo, Jim

Second image left to right: The Host, Yandereplier, Wilford ‘Motherloving’ Warfstache, Yancy, Dr. Iplier, Illinois, Murderiplier, Heistiplier

[faecaribou]

Top 5 MarckCU characters and why along with ur fav series so far? :000

The Host - I just think he's neat. We don't have much of him personality wise that isnt fanon rather than canon but I adore him anyway. I've done wayyy too much self-shipping when it comes to the Host. I think we would hate each other but sometimes its fun to be black for someone, to use the homestuck terminology. Kinda guy who I would get into a fistfight with and then we would sit down and watch a movie together.

Head Engineer Mark - I am an insecure hopeless romantic so when we got a guy who would die a million times for us and never think a bad thought about us I adored him immediately. Then he DID turn on us and I was soooo distraught. Then he realized it was all his fault and when back to practically worshipping us. The Captain could've turned EVIL and KILLED EVERYONE at the end of ISWM 2 and our head engineer would never stray from our side. He is Obsessed. I should continue my fic where the Captain goes insane but Mark sticks by our side.

Darkiplier - Imagine a guy(?) who is obsessed with us. Yes, yes, head engineer Mark, I know. Now imagine the OTHER guy. When ADWM first came out I watched it and my first ending was the chocolate ice cream. i was genuinely afraid of darkiplier. like i had nightmares. WKM definitely changed my attitude about this guy.

Yancy - Arguably one of the top 4 most emotionally aware egos. I need more of him. I would stay in prison for him but I would also break him OUT of prison. He dances AND he sings.

those four were EASY choices for me but oohhhh who would I add to this list? Jim? Last year I would've said Google or Yandere. If it's MarkCU in general I'd say Mack. I hate Mack. I love Mack. I want to bite him. I want him to become increasingly concerned for my well-being.

WAIT OMG How could I have forgotten. Stan the Water Man. Stan is my number five no shot. I loved those videos but since he's in Space he's part of the MarkCU so Stan the Water Man. I was about to say Jim but Stan is a lot like Jim I can't explain it.

Fav series: I cannot deny the effort and beauty put into ISWM 1 and 2, or the emotional pull of WKM. The superb acting of WMLW. The fun of ADWM. I think I was most hype for ISWM, I watch WKM the most, but my favorite series was A Heist With Markiplier. My first ending was on Caveman Mat's island, and I about burst into tears when Mark pulled us out of the ocean after the storm. I really love choose-you-own-adventures, and ISWM's all-choices-lead-to-the-same-ending kind of takes a bit of fun out of it. So Heist is my favorite.

[jimsandfruit]

Underrated ship tbh

[akladyathena]

Ooooohhhh

(Click for better quality)

The Host x Dr Iplier - moodboard

Like how this turned out. (Heavily inspired by @doctordiscord123 because her stuff is great.)

[ephiesoul]

⭐️Choose your President⭐️

❤️🤍💙 Markiplier Edition ❤️🤍💙

❤️ Stage One

⭐️ Round 1 Bingiplier vs Googleplier

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 2 Author vs Actor Mark

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 3 Eric vs Stan

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 4 Wilford vs Bim

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 5 Heehoo vs Necromancer

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 6 Jim vs Dr. Iplier

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 7 Engineer vs Camp Mark

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 8 Bill vs Darkiplier

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 9 Host vs Illinois

Voting Closed - Here | Results - Here

⭐️ Round 10 Night vs Yancy

Cast your Votes - Here | Results - TBA

⭐️ Round 11 Noir Mark vs Murdock

Cast your Votes - Here | Results: TBA

⭐️ Round 12 Annus vs Damien

Cast your Votes - Here | Results: TBA

🤍 Stage 2

⭐️ Round 1 Googleplier vs Author

Voting Closed: Here | Results: TBA

⭐️ Round 2 Eric vs Wilford

Voting Closed Here | Results: TBA

⭐️ Round 3 Heehoo vs Jim

Voting Closed: Here | Results: TBA

⭐️ Round 4 Engineer vs Dark

Voting Closed: Here | Results: TBA

⭐️ Round 5 Host vs Yancy

Voting Closed: Here | Results: TBA

⭐️ Round 6 Noir Mark vs Damien

Voting Closed: Here | Results: TBA

💙 Stage 3

⭐️ Round 1 Googleplier vs Wilford

⭐️ Round 2 Darkiplier vs Jim

⭐️ Round 3 Yancy vs Damien

⭐️ Bing Bonus Questions

What trait matters most in a President? Here

Bingiplier vs Actor bonus round - Here

Bing vs Actor results - Here

(Voting available on Tumblr, Instagram & X)

[billie-the-sleepyhead]

The 2 first place winners of this poll(it was a tie and I’m not making another poll) are now added to my personal project. AND! Here is 2 extra drawinngs to celebrate them.

Darkstache cuddling and napping on the couch at home.

Bingle on a date(they’re on a walk and Bing will do skateboard tricks for Google)

“Second place��� was BimXMurdoch and “3rd place”(loosing pair) was Dr Iplier X Host.

[mantidbasil]

I have been thinking nonstop about how tf2 mercs and markiplier egos would interact now 😭

-------

Heavy, squinting down at Dr. Iplier: tiny.... tiny little doctor...? (mark is only taller than engie, maybe the same height as pyro)

------- Medic: Hey if you want I could heal your ey- The Host: NO. Medic: :( why not The Host: It's complicated Medic: Please don't tell me your eye sockets are haunted too... ------- Google: (minding his own buisiness) Engineer, visibly twitching: Hey there. (slowly pulls out screwdriver. casually approaches). Mind if I ask how you were made? ------- Spy has no interest in interacting with anyone until he finds Dark sitting in a corner drinking wine. He sits down next to them, pours himself a glass, and they just silently exchange looks. -------

PYRO AND WILFORD PYRO AND WILFORD OMG Pyro: (drawing rainbows) Wilford: Ha ha! I'm wearing rainbow suspenders!

Pyro: (burning down buildings, setting people on fire) Wilford: This is fine because death isn't real! (shoots someone)

Pyro: Mmph Mmph! Wilford: Unfortunately your subtitles haven't been translated, so ol' Warfstache here doesn't know what you're saying :(

------- Bing and Scout do skateboard tricks together. Both of them attempt a very simple trick and fail it, falling down and scraping their knees. Both insist they are the better skater, the world's best skater even.

-------

Heist Mark pulls out his bombs and his 16th Century flintlock pistol likely used by pirates for boarding actionsTM and Demoman is mildly interested. Heist Mark then proves that he has strangely extensive knowledge about medieval weaponry and Demo is much more interested. Demo pulls out Eyelander and Captain Magnum joins their little group where they all start talking about weapons and bombs.

-------

Engineer: (disappointed after having failed to get permission to take Google apart and put him back together) Head Engineer Mark: Hi there! I heard you're an engineer? I'm an engineer! Engineer: Do you. Build guns. Or robot arms. Head Engineer Mark: I mean I have the Asteroid Defense System turrets..... but actually I build a spaceship and sort of maybe a time travel universe breaking machine? Engineer: So a dangerous device that can destroy the world.... can I see the schematics?

------- I know in my SOUL Ed Edgar and Sniper hate each other but I can't elaborate. Illinois and Sniper have a very casual truce going on but ultimately Sniper does not really wanna hang out with anyone. This of course means the Jims spot him standing off to the side and think he's the perfect intervewee and at least three, maybe four Jims swarm Sniper and shove cameras and microphones inches from his face and he has a terrible time.

-------

Yandere somehow completely enchants Medic's doves and I can't elaborate on this either. Heavy is bemused. As long as Archimedes chooses Medic over Yan he's going to pretend he isn't jealous about the attention his doves are giving her. Scout goes "AWOOGA GIRL?!" and gets stabbed by Yan. Heavy is reminded of his younger sisters and is delighted.

-------

Eric Derekson is terrified of Soldier. The main two off the top of my head who are not put off by Soldier's shouting are King of the Squirrels and Yancy. Soldier corners King and is like "what are you king of?! not america. WHAT COUNTRY IS SQUIRRELS" Scout hears Yancy speak, hears the accent, and immediately throws hands.

-------

I am yap-o-clock-ing in your ask box but I needed to give you the brainrot that you've given me

OH MY GOD IM DRAWING SOME OF THESE I PROMISE YOU . I DONT KNOW WHEN ILL DRAW THEM BUT I BET YOUR ASS THEYLL BE DRAWN. KEEP YAPPING IN MY INBOX.

PLEASE. PLEASE KEEP TALKING.

TF2 x MARK EGOS BRAINROT !!!!!!!!!

[westanthewaterman]

Request Guidelines 

REQUEST STATUS: CLOSED

Please specify:

SFW or NSFW

Drabble, Headcanon, or Fic 

Reader pronouns/AGAB

Romantic, Platonic, etc

Any prompts you would like (please send the actual prompt sentence, not just the number thank you!)

Characters I will write for:

Aurthur (aka Author)

Bing

Damien

Dark

Dr. Iplier

Engineer!Mark

Eric Derekson

God of Night

Google

Illinois James

Marcus (aka Actor!Mark)

Murdock (aka Murderplier)

The Host

Wilford Warfstache

William J Barnum

Yancy

Things I will write:

SFW or NSFW

F/M/GN/AFAB/AMAB Reader

Ego x reader x Ego

Ego x Ego

Things I won’t write:

Please don’t send asks about these topics, unless you are asking about my boundaries regarding them, thanks!

Pregnancy

Oral sex

CNC/Non-con

Rape

Incest

Pedophilia/Underage

Watersports/Scat

Foot Fetish

Master/Slave

Hard Pet Play (eating from a bowl, being in a cage)

Boot Worship/Boot Kink

Sir kink

Abuse

Hard impact play (canes, paddles, floggers, etc

Self-harm/Suicide

Menstruation/Periods/Abortion/Anything mentioning fertility

Fics centered around the weight of the reader or an Ego character

[fictionkinfessions]

@ post 762292308593999872 (dr-iplier-here-i-wish-all-youtube-egos)

no promises, haha! it's nice to see you around, though, edward. i hope you've been well ||) - the host 🎙️

x

[jaxwritess]

Other stories I have planned for the future!

- Confessions - Love Doctors (Dr. Schneep x Dr. Iplier)

- Unlikely Pairing - Yost (Host x Yancy)

- Sweet Dreams, Dear Prince - Prinxiety (Roman x Virgil)

- Flower Crowns and Letterman Jackets - Yaric (Yandere (Ayano) x Eric)

- Late Night Repairs - Google Blue & Bing (platonic)

There's a few other untitled pieces in my drafts, as well as a second part of my Early Morning story on the way! Feel free to give me some thoughts on these— I'd love to hear any theories about the titles.

[incorrect-quotes-egos]

Jim Twins: Do you love Host?

Dr. Iplier: Yeah, I do.

Jim Twins: Schneep! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Schneep: We all love Host. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.

Dr. Iplier: I thought that was implied.

Schneep: ...

Jim Twins: ...

Dr. Iplier, looking straight at Schneep: Congrats Jims, you just won 100 bucks.

[faecaribou]

why dr. iplier x yancy x host FUCKS HARD so heres a WIP thats been sitting in my drafts unfinished and will never be finished. rip

okay imagine, right? Dr. Iplier and the Host are dancing around each other always on the verge of saying something to one another about their feelings but the Host is excellent at talking about everything except whats important and Dr. Iplier thinks hes good at reading people but he’s not. They’re both kind of shy and they’re both kind of oblivious to the other’s feelings. If whatever Dark and Wilford have going on, wasn’t going on, then Dr. Iplier and Host would be the most interesting thing to occur in the ego meetings. maybe. there’s a lot of chaos there.

anyway they’re dancing around each other and they’re experts at it too. Then Heist drops and they get three new dudes. One is a pirate who’s practically never around because he loves adventure so damn much, the other dude also says he loves adventure so he goes on like weekend trips once a month but he stays in the mansion, and then you have the last guy. Who never leaves the mansion. Hell, does he even go in the backyard? Naturally they think he’s an introvert. Host is maybe hoping he’s got a book buddy who won’t mind a bit of blood; after all this guy showed up in a prison garb with tattoos and bandaids all over. Dr. Iplier really wants to give him a check-up since Captain Magnum’s never around for him to check up on him, and Illinois has submitted to three different check-ups already for each adventure he goes off to, but this prison guy has already figured out the entire layout of the mansion and is quick and quiet as a fish, or eel, or some other creature that can slither away without notice. Hell, he’s an escape artist when he wants to be and he knows every nook and cranny. It’s driving Dr. Iplier up the wall.

He finally gets his hands on the guy by cornering him after an ego meeting, and maybe it was undignified to scramble out of his seat like that the moment Dark lets them go, but the last meeting Yancy disappeared and the meeting before that was the when Yancy was introduced and Dr. Iplier has mistakenly thought that Yancy would show himself to the doctor’s office back then. He knows better now.

“Yancy. If you would come with me please.” His grip is iron around the ex-prisoner’s bicep.

[bnuyfrowns]

prompts prompts prompts!!

i wanna write things for mark’s egos,, but i am absolutely horrible at coming up with ideas!! so, if you guys could send me prompts to write about, that’d be awesome!! i wanna get into writing more, because it’s a good de-stressor for me and i enjoy it. 

i’ll do a lot of ships, or friendships, or even just a thing about one specific ego. 

but please! apart from sexual stuff, i’d be happy to write just about anything! just reply to this, or send through asks, or whatever. but please!!  

[supernatural-bias]

━"Manning The Mics"

━Tw: None

━Notes: I have delted this over five times on accident. If there's any typos- too bad so sad I'm never revisiting this. It took so long ;-;

━Song: "Why Am I Anxious" By Tom Cardy

"You know I have the power to fire you right."

Giggles filled with pure mirth came from (Y/n) as they tried not to double over, staring at their unamused boss, whom, was covered head to toe in sticky notes.

Their record for how many post-it notes they could place on one person had been 18. Had been.

Now it was a whopping 23.

As one could clearly tell if they took one look at the man in front of (Y/n).

You know, suprisingly, working at a studio downtown dedicated to airing a local t.v channel wasn't all that entertaining. Especially when someone like (Y/n)—who had mounds of untapped potential according to the company—was stuck wiping the dust off of camera lenses instead of putting their four years at college to use.

What's the use of going to school for a degree in sound design if they didn't even use it.

So they had to find a way to spice up their day to day routine. That didn't involve loitering around the snack table untill the day ended. (The coffee tasted like shit anyways.) What better way than slapping half a pad of post-its on your co-workers.

"If I didn't like you so much I would have kicked you out a long while ago."

(Y/n) paused their laughing fit to swipe dramatically at the corner of their eyes, pretending to wipe a tear away.

"Yeah. But you wouldn't want to get rid of 'one of the most talented workers you've seen in years'. Your words not mine." They clasped their hands together with an overdone grin, looking up at their (still) uninterested boss. He just grumbled at them in response.

Honestly Robert wasn't a bad supervisor. He never yelled at anyone, only tossing the occasional death glare when people needed to be reminded of things. Which was much appreciated concidering his sagging eyebags and sardonic demeanor made it seen like he would and could snap at the smallest thing.

He was pretty nice to (Y/n) anyways. Treated them like a hyper cousin. You know; the one you always saw getting yelled at by their mom at family gatherings because they put a whoopee cushion on someone's seat.

"Listen. I didnt call you in here to talk about, er, this." Robert plucked a blue sticky note off his temple, crumbling the material up into a ball and flicking it across the room.

It landed in the waste bin by his desk perfectly, making (Y/n) widen their eyes with an entertained smile. Robert didn't share their enthusiasm.

"I got an email from HQ this morning. One of the cast members saw you, ah 'performing by the water cooler' the other day so to speak, and wanted to meet you for something in building 2M today. As in, fifteen-minutes-from-right-now today."

(Y/n) saw a flash of remorse pass across his eyes. His tone was gentler now. The kind of gentle tone people use when they tell you your dog was just run over by a steam roller.

They felt their heart drop, face twisting into an unpleasant expression.

It had just been a bit of goofing off. Balancing a cherry on their nose before popping it in their mouth and tying the stem like a magician presenting their next trick—that kind of stuff. They didn't even know a cast member would be there. If so they would have used one of their sick days ahead of time. (Can you blame them. No one wants to be in the same room as their boss when their working.)

"Do you know who saw-"

"No. I don't know. I'm sorry (Y/n)." Robert's lips twitched down into a frown full of sympathy. He reached out to place a hesitant pat on their arm, the gesture holding a lot more meaning than anyone would think.

"If they try to fire you, quit before they can. That's business 101."

Well that certantly made them feel a lot better.

"Thanks. Want me to just hand in my resignation now or-?"

"Shut up (Y/n)." He rolled his eyes. But there was no annoyance behind it.

"You need to get going anyways. And-" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"-good luck."

"Just make sure my headstone looks nice and neat alright?"

"Fuck off."

Offices surrounded by glass should be illegal.

That's all that was going through (Y/n)'s brain as they walked through the winding hallways of headquarters. More specifically building M2.

They could see everything going on in the rooms due to those stupid glass walls, yet nothing at the same time. It was anxiety inducing.

But also what-the-fuck inducing.

A man with a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and atrocious mouth mullet was talking to a group of terrified looking people in one area while waving around what was, hopefully, a fake gun.

In the room next to him was a masked figure in a skin tight black body suit, posing like a superhero while resting their comically large hands by his hips. They almost looked to be roleplaying if anything.

The company didn't talk about this in the introduction video.

What room were they supposed to be in again? The lady at the front desk had said the one with the cream walls right? Or was it gray-

They let their feet lead them down a few more twists and turns while trying not to think about it too much. The contents in the rooms only got more bizarre as they went, albeit less and less people occupying them untill no one was left.

The journey only paused when a room on their right came up, big bold letters above it reading Conference Room.

Hey, that room looked cream colored enough.

(Y/n) pushed the glass door open, head popping in as they scanned the contents of the place. Just as their view from the outside suggested, no one was in there.

"Yeah. Okay. That's great. Invite me up here why don't you. Give me a heart attack why don't you. Make sure not to show up before me why don't you."

Their words were full of nerves, bones in their neck popping as they cracked it anxiously.

Who exactly was the cast again? They knew the general idea that surrounded all of them. The Big Men. The bosses. The people who ran this entire company in their free time.

Wispers about who exactly they were ran rampant on set some days. How one was a demon. The other was an insane pink Willy Wonka. Someone even had a thoery that they were all just fragments of one mans mind, which was met with as many eyerolls and scoffs as one would think.

Honestly (Y/n) had never paid much attention to any of the theories. They were never gonna meet the guys in charge anyways, so why bother? They'd much rather spend their time getting their job done quickly so they could spend the rest of their shift goofing off.

But now, walking around the oval shaped table and eyeing the place skeptically, they wish they had listened in to those conversations.

"Ah! Wonderful! We were wondering when you would show up sugarplum!"

(Y/n) nearly jumped three feet in the air, whirling around to the source of their sudden spike in heart rate.

Right where seconds ago no one had been sitting were six individual men surrounding the brown table.

Everyone looked the same. But different. It was a wonder how they had never really seen any of them before, despite working on set and them being the 'main cast'.

They all were staring straight at (Y/n), who swore their face lost all color at the attention.

Each one was dressed in different attire, ranging vastly from suits to hospital scrubs. A couple of them even looked to be glitching. Or was that buffering? They couldn't tell.

"Well come on! Sit down sit down. There's a chair right next to Bim and Hosty right there!"

Their eyes flickered to the enthusiastic man with messy brown hair, his voice slurred as if he'd been drinking. A pink tinted mustache moved with his words, which they couldn't help but stare at for a moment.

Nonetheless they listened, walking over to the chair he spoke of and slowly sitting down. If they hadnt felt small enough being stared at by six separate pairs of eyes, they certantly did now.

The one—Hosty he had been called?—on their left was a man in a light brown trench coat. He was rather handsome looking, albeit solom. He had a bandage around his head, weaving through his dark tresses and covering his vision. There looked to be dried blood stains where his eyes were, causing them to wonder how he could even see them.

"The Host thinks it's rude to stare."

(Y/n) quickly looked away at their words, choosing instead to eye the other man beside their seat.

Not like they had much of a chance to before a hand was shoved in their face.

"HI! Bim here. Bim Trimmer. Extrodinare in everything! That's Bim Trimmer. B-I-M, T-"

"Alright that's enough Bim. You're startling them." Someone said with a sigh.

The hand pointing straight inbetween the area of their eyes slowly reclined, Bims smile still ever present—if a bit forced now.

Who the absolute hell were these people.

"Wilford, why exactly are we all here?"

"Ah, yes. That!"

(Y/n)s eyes furrowed in the slightest, shifting in their seat as they watched the smiling man shuffle around for some papers. His tounge would come out and lick his lips occasionally and they tried not to acknowledge Wilfords little wink when he noticed them looking.

He then slammed a file decorated with stickers down on the table, patting it gently as if he didn't just completely demolish it against the furnitures surface.

"(Y/n) (L/n)! Works in building 4A, mic check crew. Born in Nevada, moved to Ohio to pursue their career in sound design! An adventurous little thing."

"We know Wilford. I recal reading the report on their interview. A very interesting one." A very monotone voice said, before screaming.

(Y/n)s eyes widened as a red and blue verson of the person across from them split in the air, howling. They looked to be in the worst pain imaginable. It was enough to make (Y/n) forget about the mention of their rather embarassing interview. (Let's just say the janitor had to stay overnight that day)

And then the figures were gone.

"Host notices (Y/n) jump. He wishes tell them that they were not imagining that. It is simply Dark becoming a bit aggitated."

Alright. So that made no sense. Perfect.

How to deal with this. Avoid eye contact? No they were already doing that. Music? Earbuds were in the car damnit. Oh-

Humor.

"So, is this gonna be done by my lunch break, because I have some tofu in the fridge I really can't let sit too long. Last time that happened I had to quarantine for a few months and oh boy-"

Their words faded the more they talked, nerves increasing by the moment.

Alright so no jokes. Tough crowd.

"Are you going to fire me? Becuase if so I quit first."

That made Wiford let out a hearty laugh, a few others joining in with small chuckled. Even the monochrome ones lips tilted up slightly, his expression having been stony untill now.

"Fire you? Why of course not! On the contrary sugar! Here, have some candy."

Before (Y/n) could say anything in retaliation a lollipop was shoved forcefully in their mouth. They gagged on it slightly, muffling out a 'hey!' as the sweet flavor coated their tounge.

Wilford just winked.

Host quietly narrated their flushed face with a slight tilt of his head.

They worked the treat around with their tounge, successfully muted as Wilford continued to go on a rant, pacing around the room and its inhabitants. Tossing out reasons why he had called them all up here with the occasional off topic discussion.

"-ut (Y/n) we were wondering if you'd like to come work in our building! On Warfstashe Tonight to be specific." He finally finished, filling with his suspenders and leaning down to look them in the eye with half closed lids.

He was so close, they could have stuck him in the eye with the end of their lollipop stick—and honestly was thinking about it just to see what would happen. So thank god for Host.

"The Host feels a bit neglected when Wilford fails to mention his podcast."

"Yeah, what The Host said. I'm Bim Trimmer! The Bim Trimmer! I need a mic guy too for my show about me! Bim!"

"They could help me with my diagnosis'. It's always more fun to tell people that their dying with an audience."

"I-I have no-o use f-for a us-seless huma-an."

Fuck you too blue shirt guy.

"Settle now." The dark man said again. Wait, dark? Dark.

(Y/n) thought someone had called him that. Strange name. However, it fit them.

"Wilford I recommend you stop playing with this poor human and get on with it. We can all figure out a schedule later. We've already confused them enough."

"You're no fun Darky." Wilford pouted, snatching the lollipop right out of (Y/n)'s mouth and placing it in his own. He sighed as he walked away, licking it at his leisure.

They blinked at the unsanitary action.

"But fiiiiine. Meeting dismissed. That means you too bubblegum. I can escort you out to your car if you'd like."

The pinkette was smiling at them innocently while twirling the spit coated treat around in his hand. But with the way Wilford looked them up and down they felt like he wanted to do more than just escort them to their car.

By now most of the other members at the table had gotten up to leave, shuffling around and making small talk amongst themselves. Not many spared an extra glance at (Y/n). Which they were thankful for. Their head was already spinning a little.

"Uh, no thanks Wilford. I'll just go back to my erm, building now." They declined his offer as politely as possible.

"You have some important tofu waiting for you if I'm not mistaken." Dark smoothed down his suit as he stood up, red and blue iris' boring into (Y/n)s own as he spoke. They had forgotten he was even there, which unnerved them a little. Silent guy.

"Uh, yes. Yes. That's it. Mhm yes totally. Tofu. I'll go get that and then I'll just- see what's left to do around here." (Y/n) stuffed their hands into their pockets, already starting to inch towards the door stiffly.

Wilford whined once or twice. But the glass door slammed in his face before any real words could make it out of his mouth, (Y/n)s pace increasing as they sped walked away with eyes as big as dinner plates.

They mentally thanked Dark for an opportunity out of there. They had never had trouble socializing in any sort of way, but in that room being offered so many promotions—could they even be called promotions if you're just thrust into the job—it felt more like they were being cooed and ogled at by a bunch of higher beings. Mainly Wilford.

But- whatever. They would do their research. The deranged Willy Wonka theory didn't seem too crazy anymore.

For now though–

–they were really craving a lollipop.

[invaderdoom78]

Wilford Warfstache x Gn reader x Darkiplier

It was sunset and you, Wilford Warfstache, and Darkiplier were walking through the city's park, your hand held in Wilford's as Dark walked next to you, the monochrome 3-D like aura that surrounded him having been dropped for the evening. Yes, you knew it probably wasn’t a brilliant idea to be in a relationship with either man, especially since people had a habit of dying when the pink mustached man was around and the other was a cold, manipulative demon, but they both did genuinely care for you and you them. The romantic feelings, on both parts, had started to develop after they revealed to you what had happened in the past to make them the way that they are today; you knowing that they trusted you enough with the information and them knowing that you could be trusted with it and didn’t think any differently of them because of it.

As the three of you were walking Wilford spotted a playground and ran over to the jungle gym and began climbing up it. Letting out a giggle you hooked your arm in Darks and walked over to the swing set, taking a seat on one of the swings. Letting go of your arm Dark walked behind you and began to gently push you as you watched Wilford have fun on the playground. You were pretty sure the pink mustached man was only doing this as a way to make you laugh because as you watched him you could tell that he kept glancing over at you, searching for your reaction.

“Darling” Dark said brushing your (h/c) hair off of your should so he could place a kiss in the crook of your neck and whisper in your ear “it’s getting rather late, perhaps we should consider heading home soon”

“You’re right,” You said getting off the swing

“Ow!” Wilford exclaimed after he’d lost his grip on one of the monkey bars and fell face-first on the ground below “I’m ok”

“Come along, Wilford” Dark said placing a hand on the small of your back “we’re going home”

“Alright,” Wilford said dusting himself off before rejoining you and the demon, wrapping an arm around your shoulder

Walking away from the playground the three of you began making your way home.

“You know, (y/n)” Wilford said “your (e/c) eyes look absolutely stunning in the moonlight”

“Stop” You chuckled at the cheesy line as two men stepped out of the shadow onto the sidewalk in front of them, one holding a broken beer bottle and the other a revolver

“Hand over everything you’ve got,” the man holding the bottle said

“Or you could just give us that pretty little companion of yours,” the one with the gun said, a shit-eating grin on his face “I’m sure we can have lotsa fun with 'em”

Glancing over at each other Wilford and Dark stepped forward, moving you behind them so they could keep you safe. Pulling out the knife he’d used to stab Mark with Wilford began poking the man with the beer bottle.

“No,” Wilford said, delivering a stab to the man's chest with each word he said “uh, stop. No. No. No. No. No” he stopped his stabs when the man dropped dead on the sidewalk “no, stop. What’d you learn?”

As Wilford was taking care of the bottle guy the man with the gun turned his attention to the journalists. You were about to warn him when you felt a drastic change in the atmosphere. Glancing over at Dark you could see that his menacing aura was back, and he did not look even remotely close to happy.

"I’ll handle this, darling” Dark said cracking his neck, the echo back in his voice “you just wait here"

Walking over to the other man Dark began to manipulate him with his sweet words, slowly circling the other until he’d managed to convince the man to raise the gun to his head, barrel pressed against the temple, and pull the trigger.

“Now that wasn’t very nice,” a third man said standing behind you “now was it” he held a large kitchen knife close to your throat

Both Wilford and Dark made a move that looked like they were going to attack the man and probably rip him to shreds.

“Ah, ah, ah” the man pulled you flush against his chest, one arm wrapped around your waist and arms, trapping you against him; pressing the blade of the knife into the skin of your neck "one bad move and this knife is goin' right into there neck"

Suddenly the man holding you let out a shout of pain and collapsed to his knees, tightly gripping the sides of his head as he heard a painful ringing drilling into his eardrums. Taking the opportunity, Dark pulled you away from the man and into Wilford's arms. In a poof of black smoke, you found yourself back at the manor with the journalist. Letting out the breath he’d been holding Wilford moved away from you slightly, both hands tightly gripping your shoulders.

“Are you alri-“ Wilford tried to ask as his eyes grew wide in horror and all the color drained from his face

“What’s wrong?” You asked, noticing that he was staring at your neck. Lifting a hand you felt something wet against your skin; pulling it away you saw that there was crimson liquid on your fingertips “shit”

“Y-you just sit down ‘n relax, sugar plum, I’ll go and get the good doctor,” Wilford said guiding you to the couch, glancing at the coffee table he grabbed a box of tissues and handed you a couple of them “here. Hold these against your neck”

Taking the tissues from his hand you held them against the wound and took a seat on the couch as Wilford went to go find Dr. Iplier. As you were sitting there, keeping your wound covered, The Host walked into the living room quietly narrating to himself.

“As The Host walked into the living room he noticed that you had returned home from your date with Darkiplier and Wilford, though the two were nowhere to be found. That was when (y/n) acknowledged The Host presence in the room”

"Hey, Host," You said ignoring the fact that he already narrated your actions before you could do them

“As (y/n) was speaking The Host finally noticed that their neck was...bleeding. Are you alright?”

“Well, I’m not dead so I guess that’s a good sign” You shrugged

“D-did Wilford do this to you?” The Host asked taking a seat next to you

“What? No!” You said adjusting the tissues “some guys tried to mug us while we were out and I guess I got knifed”

“They're in the living room” Wilford yelled from somewhere in the manor “my poor darling (y/n) could be bleeding to death and you’re just laying here in your room, asleep in the middle of the night! What kind of a doctor are you?”

“Alright, Wilford, calm down,” Dr. Iplier said calmly

“I doubt my presence here will be of any use,” The Host said giving you a quick hug before exiting the room “after giving (y/n) a hug The Host stood up and exited the living room as an irate Wilford and exhausted looking Dr. Iplier entered”

Just like The Host had narrated, Wilford and Dr. Iplier walked into the room, the doctor holding a small first aid kit. Shoving him over to the couch Wilford took a seat next to you, refusing to let go of the tight grip he’d taken on your hand.

“So how long do I have, Doc?” You joked as Dr. Iplier finished patching up the cut

“There’s nothing to worry about, (y/n), the blade just nicked the skin and drew out a little blood,” Dr. Iplier said putting away his gauze and medical tape “it’ll heal up in no time”

“Thank goodness” Wilford sighed wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face into the nape of your neck

At that moment Dark stepped through the front door and immediately noticed that your neck was being bandaged up, so he quickly joined you on the couch.

“Took ya long enough,” Wilford said, earning a glare from the demon as he gently placed his hand under your chin, lifting it so he could get a better look at the bandages and you could see the rage building behind his eyes

“They’ll be fine,” Dr. Iplier said before quickly slipping out of the room so he could avoid the demon's wrath

“Does it hurt, darling?” Dark asked cupping your cheek in his hand

“Not yet,” You said nuzzling into his palm hoping that it would quell his wrath as you let out a yawn “well I’m gonna head up to bed now” you tried to stand up but Wilford still had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist “could you please let go of me?”

“Don’t wanna” Wilford murmured into your neck

“Help” You pleaded to the demon in front of you

“Let them go,” Dark said prying Wilford's arms away from you so you could slip away

Giving both Wilford and Dark a quick kiss you walked upstairs and stepped into the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink you opened up a bottle of painkillers and tapped two pills into your hand. Filling up a glass with water you noticed Darks reflection appearing in the mirror as he slipped into the room.

“Are you sure that you’re not in any pain, darling?” Dark asked resting both of his hands on your hips

“I'm fine, Dark, really,” You said swallowing the painkillers as the demon embraced you from behind, placing another kiss in on the crook of your neck “but that must’ve been one hell of a sharp knife because I didn’t even know I’d been cut until we got back home. So what did you do to him anyway?”

“I made sure that he would regret every decision he’s ever made,” Dark said, a sinister smirk appearing on his face “I just wish that he was still around so I could make his suffering even worse”

Chuckling slightly you turned off the lights and stepped into the hall with Dark, the two of you walking down the hall to your room. Normally only one of them would be sharing the bed with you, who it was alternating from night to night, but tonight the both of them were still on edge and neither one wanted to leave you alone. So as the two of you entered your room you saw that Wilford was already laying on your bed dressed in only his underwear.

“For the love of God, Wilford” Dark said taking notice of the journalist “can you put on some clothing”

“Oh come on, Darkimoo,” Wilford said rolling onto his side “I’ve got underwear on”

“Please, Wilford,” You said giving him big puppy dog eyes

“D’aw, alright,” Wilford said rolling off the bed to slip on some sleeping pants

Letting out a heavy sigh you flopped down on the center of the bed and spread out on the mattress. Turning off the lights Dark slipped into bed on one side of you and Wilford on the other side, both of them making sure that they had one arm wrapped around you as they slept.