#wilford warfstache x y/n

[mnt-artss]

happy april fools….. booping time

reblogs (and boops!) appreciated !!

[fictionalsownme]

More Than A Woman | wilford warfstache x gn!viewer / reader |

chapter one - "I've known you very well"

A/N: hi everyone!! I'm so excited to post this! Usually I spend a long time on the stuff I write but I wrote a good chunk of this in a feverish burst haha, I've been wanting to write for Wil and had such a clear idea of how I see him in my head for so long :)) This fic will probably be around 10 chapters~ish and progress will probably be a little slow but I'm also trying to get faster at my writing so I guess we'll see! Getting it down is always the hardest, then you spend a bit of time hating it, then the fixing can start! Anyway, I hope you guys like this, I love this dorky weirdo a lot for whatever reason, and I'd love to write for other egos too :) ((there might be a guest appearance or two in here in the last few chapters if plans don't change 👀)) hope you guys enjoy the first chapter at least! lmk 🥰! word count: 2.9k notes: reader is gender-neutral, similar to all of mark's stuff :) -- the title is just after the song! no pronouns or descriptors are used other than the occasional they/them. reader is the viewer (& district attorney) from wkm, adwm, ahwm, iswm, etc, but that won't come up until later. wmlw wilford. story will be mostly fluff, some hurt/comfort & angst, lots of romance and flirting! story is adapted from an idea I had for my self insert. we will get into some lore stuff (or at least my understanding of the lore 👀) and filling in gaps with headcannons, but it's mostly about wilford & reader and I'll try to explain as we go so don't worry about it too much if you don't know all of it. especially since I don't know if my understanding is always 100% accurate 👉👈 let's have fun yall! 💞

masterlist | AO3

The music playing softly over the convenience store speakers was pleasant, if slightly boring. Like elevator music— there only to help ease the passing of time. Your night shift would end soon, and the sky could be seen as it lightened more every minute through the windowed front of the building.

Other than that, the old store was quiet. Dusty. Pink and orange neon strips lined the walls near the ceiling. They overpowered the dated fluorescent lights, casting everything in a slightly peach haze. Like a dream. 

Different sections of the store were marked with neon too, the letters glowed against the wall denoting the drinks, the snacks, the hot food… You liked your little store. Even if the unyielding isolation of your work made you a bit… complacent. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d truly talked with someone.

The ice creams chilled your fingers through the wrappers as you pulled them from their box and slotted them into place. Even with the cold air of the freezer wafting over you, you could smell the cool summer air coming in the sliding front doors.

You liked to prop them open on dawns like these. The convenience store lights did draw in the occasional pestering bug, but they usually found their way out again before long. You did get a bat once. Albeit a little crazed and frantic, you were surprised to find it harmless. Maybe a little lost. Now that thing seemed like it would never leave. 

Refocusing on your task, you brushed your condensation-soaked fingers on your work apron, tied tight behind your neck and around your back, and shut the freezer door. 

The motion alert chimed a pleasant tune through the staticky old speakers as a customer entered the open doors from the street.

You called an automatic, “Welcome in~,” and went about straightening a shelf of snack bars and chocolate. You didn’t bother to look in their direction as you heard them make their way through the aisles.

“Pardon me,” said their strange, nearly British accent from beside you now. You turned to the source of the voice, the man who’d just walked in, and your eyes went to his outfit first. 

A silky-- almost sparkly in how it caught the light-- lavender shirt with mismatched buttons revealed expanses of his bare chest. It was paired with white bell-bottoms and a fake pink afro hanging half-off his head, about to fall off. He had olive skin and dark hair-- nearly black--, fluffy and sticking up every which way like hands had been running through it. Scruffy facial hair framed a thick mustache that tinted slightly pink where it turned up at the ends.

He looked… honestly, he looked ridiculous. But the 70s getup was fun, you supposed. And his eyes-- dark brown and monolid-- were handsome. Underneath all the… extra mess. You blinked, slowly, in a way that felt like waking up.

“Uh, hi. Are you coming from a costume party or something?” It was August, but you supposed it was never too early to start the spooky season. 

“Oh! Do you know of one? I do love a good costume. But no. Just the regular-sort. Just woke up from one.” He scanned the products near his head, grabbed a protein bar, sniffed the wrapper, guffawed, and put it back.

“You just woke up? Are you alright?”

“Oh, worry not, friend, this is normal for my level of reverie! I’m not even hungover!” He laughed, his hands going to his hips.

You stared at him.

“I was just looking for something to gnaw on! To nourish myself before I’m on my way.” His eyes were still traveling all over, not really seeing you.

Now in theory, a strange man coming in at this hour, acting even stranger, with his clothes disheveled? You knew you should be on your way to your safe space behind the counter to get him checked out and exiting the store as fast as possible. But there was something about him… 

Something you couldn’t place…

Instead you raised your eyebrows and relaxed against the cooler door. “Uh, I guess that depends on what kind of food you like,” You offered. After a moment, his gaze landed on you and he seemed to finally take you in. Your uniform, your crossed arms, your patient expression, your features. His face scrunched into confusion.

A moment passed, staring at each other like that. “Your shirt’s looking a little rough, you know.”

“Have we met, friend?” He asked as he began to fix his buttons. 

You watched passively as more of his chest came into view. He either didn’t notice or didn’t mind your blatant staring. You weren’t sure why you were staring, or what you were feeling as you did so. 

You weren’t gawking at his abs or anything-- well,-- not that he didn’t have abs. He did, sort of. The expanse of his chest and abdomen were tight with toned muscle. He definitely wasn’t lacking abs, anyway. Either way… this was about something different. 

You wondered for a moment if a vague familiarity was what you were picking up on, but quickly dismissed it.

“I feel like I’d remember meeting you.” 

You realized with a start that your comment could be seen as flirtatious, and added quickly, “Just, you know-- generally.”

But he just hummed and spun on his heels, turning away. You sighed and found yourself in-step behind him, hands in your uniform pockets. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“Well, either way!” He started, his energy returning tenfold. “Let's see what this cute little shop has to eat!” 

For some reason, you asked, “Do you have money?” 

He froze. “Er, no~. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Mind what?”

“Well, spotting me of course! Let’s just say I owe you one, eh friend?”

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “Thought so.” 

Thought so? Maybe you did know him… 

It was your turn to squint in displaced confusion. “What’s your name?”

His voice came from behind you and you spun around, your shoes squeaking on the tile floor. When did he sneak around you? 

He bent over and twirled his hand, a flamboyant bow finally knocking the afro off his head. “Wilford Warfstache, at your service.”

“That’s your name?” 

He righted himself. “For now.” It suited him well enough, but for some reason it sounded misplaced.

… But no, either way, you definitely hadn’t met him before. You didn’t know many people in the first place, let alone someone so eccentric.

Still, you were curious about him. Curious about his personality and who he was. He felt sort of like a puzzle waiting to be solved. And so far, despite his quirks, despite how admittedly weird you’d also been acting, he’d been friendly. You couldn’t say the staring and prodding questions were too in-character for you. At least not when it came to customers. 

His hair looked softer without the wig to weigh it down-- parted at his brow and long enough to fluff over the tips of his ears and end where his neck met his spine. You reached down to scoop the curly mop of synthetic hair up off the floor.

“Where did you get this thing?”

He hummed something like ‘I don’t know’, his eyes sort of wide like a clueless puppy’s. 

“What, you just kind of have it?”

“Yea’p.”

You squinted at him, a smirk forming on your lips. “How about I do you a favor and throw this away?”

He shrugged, hummed an ‘alright’ sound, and turned away. 

“Oh no, I was kidding! God, here--!” You had to grab his wrist to stop him from wandering off further and placed the pink afro in his hand.

You had just been trying to tease him, but now you just felt bad. “Look, Wilford, you want something to eat? We have to throw the hot food out every night. You can have a taquito or a slice of pizza or something if you want.”

Then he was frozen again-- staring down at where your fingers wrapped around his wrist. Your eyes followed his gaze down and then you were staring too.

A moment passed. Then two. Finally, you let go and crossed your arms again, tucking your hands away where they couldn’t embarrass you again.

“... Fuck, I’m sorry. I-I don’t know why I did that.” You did your best to clear your throat.

But he was still stuck there. He blinked a few times and his gaze met your eyes, his brows gathering together. 

“Wh-What did you say your name was, friend?” He seemed so… serious all of sudden. So dire.

You hadn’t mentioned it yet, but told him with a hesitant voice. 

His expression blanked, eyes widening. He brought his arm, the offending afro in tow, to his chest, touching his wrist where you’d held it.

“Oh…” 

You raised your brows and asked softly, “Sorry, do you know me, then?”

“Hm?” And he blinked like his mind was clearing, like he’d forgotten you were there. 

He cleared his throat, smiled-- ear to ear-- his mustache lopsided like a cartoon. “Oh-- nevermind about that! Some food would be lovely, if you don’t mind.”

His eyes were sparkling. 

“Sure. I mean, it’s nothing fancy. Here,” And you walked over towards the front counter. Wilford trailed close behind you-- holding onto the wig in his hands like a school kid holding a lunch box-- his gaze wandering over the store again like he hadn’t seen it the first time.

You arrived at the hot foods section, a glassed-off section of day-old food over heated rods. You shrugged. “If you have a sensitive stomach, maybe don’t,” you started, “but it’s mostly fine to be honest. I eat it if I’m in a pinch, you know.”

You hopped up to sit on the counter, your legs facing Wilford, and leaned back to reach around and grab the tongs waiting there. You straightened and clapped them together twice. You offered him a smile. “What’ll it be, Mr. Warfstache?” Then a quieter, “--that was your last name right?”

“Do you gravitate towards anything yourself?”

“Can’t go wrong with a slice of pizza, I guess. Even here.”

His smile grew sort of soft. “Then that. If you please.”

“You got it.”

You leaned over again and served up the slice of moderately warm and slightly greasy pizza on a brown napkin and passed it off to him. 

“Much obliged.”

You got one for yourself too, and when you righted and your eyes found Wilford again, he was sitting in a retro-style diner chair you’d never seen before-- his feet against the edge of the counter beside you.

You couldn’t help the surprised laughter that choked out of you. “Wha-- where did you even find that?”

The chair teetered on its two legs as he leaned precariously back, tilting his head at your question. The pink wig sat in his lap and you couldn’t help thinking it looked like some weird dog.

“Well, there’s no need to worry! I’m only borrowing it, I’m not a barbarian.”

And you just knew you weren’t getting more of an answer than that.

“So who even are you?” You asked as he took a bite of the pizza, somehow pulling all the cheese right off the top in one piece. He pouted down at the offending mozzarella, slurping it into his mouth and swallowing it. “Do you live around here?”

“Mm. I don’t really live anywhere. Much more the exploring-- ever on the move-- type.”

He was so expressive. It really felt like talking to an old cartoon come-to-life or something. You turned to lean against the side of the glass cover, swinging your legs so your feet rested on the counter, not far from his still against the edge. You weren’t touching at all, but you were surprised at how quickly the two of you fell into a casual-- albeit timidly curious-- rhythm. 

“So what do you do?” And you began to eat too.

He beamed, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes. “I’m an interviewer! Warfstache Tonight, that’s what my show is called! It’s quite a professional endeavor!”

You smiled and hummed around your bite of pizza, impressed. That actually explained a lot. And it suited him nicely enough. “Sounds pretty glamorous.”

“And what about you? You can’t just be a convenience store clerk!” He seemed so affronted by the idea. Crinkling his nose, dropping his voice an octave. “How dreadfully boring.”

You winced. “‘Just a convenience store clerk?’ Ouch, Wilford…” You couldn’t help frowning down at your slice. 

 “Oh! No no, pardon me!” He let the chair fall back to four legs, waving the idea way with a panicked hand. “I only meant that… this isn't what truly stirs your passions, is it? Do you do anything at your leisure? For work or just… something you enjoy?”

You squinted at him. But you didn’t really think he was trying to insult you. And he wasn’t wrong. It just… wasn’t always the most fun when someone pointed it out. Especially like that. 

You sighed, fidgeting as you considered his question. “Not right now… This job keeps me pretty occupied. But you know, it’s not too bad. It keeps me, I don’t know, grounded I guess.”

He thought for a moment, then nodded, taking another bite. “I do hope you get more opportunities soon, then.” He said, surprisingly grounded.

You looked at him. “... Thanks.” And you meant it.

“And… my apologies for the earlier, uh, miswording.”

 “That’s fine… I’d be curious to hear more about your show, though! Have you interviewed anyone interesting or anything?”

A beat. A sort of tiredness settled into his shoulders and he peered up at you. “The odd gold-star guest did wander in from time to time. I’m not sure if my skills were quite deserving of them at the time.”

Was that… shame?

“The truth is, I couldn’t quite live up to the role. I--” He laughed, pained. He cleared his throat. “I’m taking a bit of a break from show business for the moment.”

Ah. So that’s what happened. You offered him a sympathetic smile. “To party? That’s probably why you don’t have any money, Wilford. And why you have to rely on shitty convenience store food?” You held up your greasy napkin like it was evidence.

“Now don’t underestimate the power of a good party! And this food is fine, I’m grateful for it,” He crumpled the now empty napkin and gestured wildly with it. “The truth is I get by just fine. I’m just not sure what else I should be doing.”

You looked out the front windows. The sky was getting lighter. The timer marking the end of your shift would go off any minute.

So maybe that’s why he’d been asking you about your passions. You felt bad for him. He was strange, to be sure. And a little hard to follow. But he was also… sweet. He had a softness about him.

And still… there was that feeling that hadn’t disappeared since meeting him. Like… like your soul recognized him. Maybe not deeply. But distantly. Like you’d met him in a dream. It was a ridiculous notion. Ridiculous didn’t seem beyond his territory.

You turned, legs coming down from the counter once again. You leaned forward, your hand landing at the junction of his shoulder and neck. His silk shirt was soft under your fingers. His eyes jumped up to yours and you looked down at him with a smile. 

“You liked doing your show right? You want to be an interviewer?”

He nodded slowly. His lashes fluttered. 

“Then that’s what you should be doing! You just have to try again!” You shrugged with one shoulder. “It might suck a lot. And you might fail again. But pick yourself back up. Keep going. I’m sure you can do it if you keep at it and think outside the box, you know. Failing only means failing if you stop.”

You leaned back, your hand sliding away. He stared at you.

“That’s what the rest of us do, anyway. Honestly, maybe you should do your show online! You know, livestream it or something. I’m sure you’d find your own way to it.”

Slowly, a smile crept back in, the corners of his eyes creasing. 

“What a wonderful idea…” 

God, his eyes… 

You looked down at your own napkin, laughing a little at yourself. “Wilford, I promise, the advice I just gave you was nothing crazy.”

“Well, perhaps it’s just a little too rare that I get a pick-me-up.”

You hopped down from the counter. “Swing by whenever, I’ll hand them out for free. Though, if you’re always on the move, I guess you’re probably not in town for long, huh?”

He quickly followed your lead and stood, his chair nearly falling in his haste. “Uh— w-well I, I don’t know, I could always… linger for a day or two. Hard to say really.” 

“Uh huh.” You smirked at him, raising your brows. “Well, if that constant partying you have going on brings you back here, feel free stop in, okay? … It’d be nice to have someone in here every once in a while. Well, someone friendly, anyway.” 

“Right. Will do. Of course.”

You gave him two solid pats on the chest and turned to throw the napkins away behind the counter. When you turned to face him again, he was gone.  Only slightly confused, you quickly recovered and yelled a quick, “bye~!” to the now empty store.

[intolerable-sushi]

Loving madness

Wilford x reader

Hello folks!!! I am currently sick with the flu, so I have had time to go through my drafts and work on things!!! This is an wilford x gn reader story that I may or may not continue depending on how I feel. Let me know if yall like it, enjoy!!!

Your friends had dragged you to a new club on your birthday to celebrate despite you begging for a small party. Instead of a couple of drinks with your friends inside your perfectly temperate house, you were now sweating like a pig in the corner of the club. Your friends were having a good time at least, with each finding a random guy to grind on. You could barely hold the panic that threatened to spill out of your throat as the club became more crowded. You hated this. You needed to get some air. You could barely make your way through the crowd as you searched for some sort of sanctuary. As your panic began to overflow and tears started to cloud your eyes, you bumped into a man as he turned around, spilling your drink all over him. You began to apologize profusely afraid that he would be angry with you, as he had every right to be. 

____________________________________________

Loving Wilford had been a mistake. A mistake that you could have easily avoided if you hadn’t been so short-sighted and naive. It had all been going so well when you had first met. 

“Now, now, it's alright darling. A little spill never hurt anyone. These things happen all the time! Now, are you alright?” The man was tall , wearing a yellow shirt and khakis. His smile was warm under his mustache and his eyes had this spark in them. You froze, he was beautiful. “Miss I understand that I am quite a catch if I do say so myself, but I do believe that you need to breathe.” You need to breathe? Oh shit you had stopped breathing. You took in a quick gasp before apologizing again. His eyes appeared to soften as he looked at you. 

“You look like you are having a rough night. Why don’t we get you outside for some air?” He placed his hand on the small of your back as he guided you towards the door. Once the two of you were outside he sat you down on a chair that you were sure wasn’t there when you had walked out. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s gotten someone as stunning as you all frazzled.” You explained that today was your birthday, and that your friends had dragged you to this new club despite you wanting a small get together. Everyone else was having fun, but the atmosphere was overwhelming to you. You didn’t want to ruin everyone’s fun so you just stayed quiet. The tears that had been collecting in your eyes began to fall. You just wanted to go home now.  

The man had listened silently to your explanation before letting out a huff. “ Those don’t sound like very good friends. Today is YOUR birthday not theirs. You should be doing what you want to do today!” You stated you would rather not cause any problems. The man huffed again, “Wanting to be celebrated in a way you enjoy is not causing problems.” The man appeared to be almost steaming as he began to pace in front of you muttering to himself. 

You stood up from your chair and said you would rather just head back to your apartment now. The man stopped his pacing and turned to you, “Alright, but may I walk you home to ensure your safety.” You thought about it for a second. This definitely was not the safest part of town, so walking by yourself was risky but at the same time, you didn’t know this man. You couldn’t help but eye him suspiciously. Was he really safe or did he have another motive?

The man seemed to realize what you were thinking and he cleared his throat. “ My apologies, where are my manners? My name is Willia- I mean, Wilford Warfstache at your service.” He said while taking a deep bow with his hand to his chest. You couldn’t help but to giggle at the name. Warfstache, what an interesting name. You decided that he seemed kind enough and told him he could walk you home. 

The two of you talked the entire way there. Wilford was kind, passionate, and funny. He had so many stories to tell and you felt like you could listen to him for hours. He made you smile and you couldn’t help the feelings of butterflies forming in your stomach. Before you parted ways that night you gifted Wilford with your number and a kiss on the check. 

The two of you began to see each other regularly and talked almost nonstop. Being with Wilford felt like a dream. He was a gentleman in all things, but he helped push you out of your comfort zone. The two of you had gone on skating dates, picnic dates, and you even went to a dance club at some point. Wilford had kept you close to make sure you were safe and comfortable. 

You were so happy and naive that you had ignored the problems and red flags. Wilford rarely talked about his past, with the only people he ever brought up being his childhood friends Mark and Damien. Sometimes he would mention a past love, but he didn’t seem to remember her name. Which brought up another concern; his memory. He struggled with simple things like the date, or even where he was. Which explained why he didn’t talk about his past. You suggested he go see a doctor multiple times, but he would refuse with a kind smile every time. 

 Other issues were harder to ignore, like when he started to just appear in places. In the apartment he could be in the bedroom one minute, and then in the kitchen the next. You explained it away with you just not paying attention, but that excuse didn’t work when he did it outside the house. Walking away to go to the bathroom only to appear in front of you when you turn back around. You should have started asking questions then. You should have payed attention as the light slowly left his eyes, when his face began to have random twitches, or when his mustache started to turn fucking pink. You ignored it all, explaining it all away in your head like a naive fool. Maybe you could have saved him. It’s too late to know now. 

Eventually his descent went from a trickle of odd occurrence to a waterfall of concerns. You would come home to him sitting at the table with a drink in hand staring at the wall muttering to himself. You could only catch the words “I did” from him. He would snap out of it when you would call him, and go back to being regular old Wilford, but over time even that stopped working. He would avoid the topic every time you brought it up, saying, “I’m fine love, I promise.” As this went on you could no longer ignore the fact that he started to randomly appear in your house when you knew he wasn’t there. You had screamed at him the first time he walked into the kitchen from your room. The two of you started to argue. He refused to talk to you about anything, and you were begging him to get help. You could see him slipping further and further from you, but he was just being so stubborn. 

Everything came to a head when you had been watching the news one night. There had been a massacre, two men and three women had been shot and killed. “The killer is still at large.” The news reporter stated, “ It is suggested that everyone stay in their homes until further notice. Talks of city wide curfew are currently in the works” 

Your front door suddenly slammed open! You turned to see Wilford staggering inside before slamming the door closed behind him.“Darling are you home?” He called, “You would not believe the night I’ve had!” You felt relief wash over you seeing your love, but that feeling stopped when something shun in his hand. A gun. Your blood froze for a second as you stared at the weapon. You were no longer listening to Wilford as questions flooded your head. Did he kill those people? Wilford would never hurt anyone!! He’s been so kind!! But why is he holding it right now? Why is it not holstered? Is that smoke?

“Darling?” Wilford had noticed you staring at his gun. He looked behind you to see the news broadcast. “Oh that? That was just a little accident, my love, no need to worry! It’ll work itself out!” An accident? It had been an accident? So why did he run? You looked into his eyes and your body couldn’t help but stiffen. There was no regret or sadness for the lives he had taken. The madness that you had been ignoring had taken over his eyes. Even the love he had for you was hard to find. You couldn’t help but be afraid for a moment. 

His smile began to falter as he stared at you. “My love? What’s wrong? You know I would never hurt you right? It was just an accident I swear.” He slowly began to approach you with his hands up, but the gun was still in hand. You scrambled off the couch to get away from him. His face fell at that moment. He backed towards the kitchen before slumping onto the table, “I’ve lost it haven’t I,” He whispered almost to himself, “ I thought I had more time, but it’s really slipped away, hasn’t it.” He finally looked back up at you, and for a moment you saw the Wilford you had met that night. 

You begged him to let you help him. The two of you could fix this! You can’t lose him! You were sobbing now. You began to  slowly make your way around the couch towards him.

“STAY”

You froze as he snapped at you. He looked back down at the floor. “I’m too far gone love. I’m gonna forget everything eventually. Even you…” He began to grip the edge of the table, “ You don’t deserve this. You are so sweet, and caring. I wish I could give you the world,” the table began to crack under his grip, “ I don’t deserve you. I can’t keep you safe. Not when I’m the thing putting you in danger.” 

Wilford rose up from the table and looked at you with a sad smile. “ I can’t be with you love. It was selfish of me to think otherwise. I can’t destroy your life like I destroyed theirs. I have to go, but if you ever need me just call for me, and I’ll come. Even if I don’t remember you, I promise I’ll protect you.” You didn’t understand, you begged him to explain. He only shook his head. “Goodbye my love,” With that he disappeared in front of your eyes. 

You haven’t seen Wilford since, and you’ve been a wreck. You loved that man. You shouldn’t but you did anyway.  You just couldn’t understand any of this. What was he? Why did he kill those people? You’ve been crying yourself to sleep trying to think of the answers, but none ever came.

One night things took another turn. 

You were crying in your room as you had done for many nights when suddenly, “Poor, sweet thing. All teary eyed over a lost love. Confused with no answers,” A voice called out to you from the darkness of your room. You reached to turn on the lamp on your night stand, but the light barely even reached the edge of your bed. What’s happening? “ Relax little one, I am here to help you. I have some information that could be of use to you. I don’t ask for much in return. Just a simple favor,” From the shadows stepped a man in a suit. He stood tall and proud, with gray skin like a thunder cloud. His form seemed to break and strain, with the man appearing to scream in pain for one second then be back to his standing posture the next. “Why don’t we talk about this over ice cream?”

[districtattorney404]

little sketch I guess?

[jacksepticeye-simp]

Welcome Home (Darkiplier x reader) Part 6- Pest control

Pairing(s): Darkiplier x GN! reader

TW{s}:Murder,implied violence.

Mark ran up to his room and found it completely trashed from head to toe. He grabbed a crucifix and holy water from the one unopened drawer. He held out the crucifix “If there are any demons in here, Reveal yourselves willingly before I do it for you!” He shouted out, the floorboards creaked behind him. He quickly turned around and threw some of the holy water, and like clockwork, the demon revealed himself.

Lo and behold, there stood the apprentice camera person he’d hired. He pointed the crucifix at him. 

“Start talking you little shit or I’ll fucking stab this so deep into your chest that you’ll burn to ash in a second.” He threatened. The apprentice nodded.

“What does your boss want this time around?” Mark asked, keeping the holy water near. The boy shrugged. “Look, The only thing I know is that he’s kinda obsessed with your friend and he’s also their date.” He said. Mark glared at him. “It’s all I know, I swear. You’d have to ask a certain..somebody else if you want to know about his specific plans.” The boy suggested, starting to sweat.  Mark grabbed him by the neck and positioned the sharp end of the crucifix over his chest.

“Fine. Be that way.” Then without a second thought he plunged the crucifix deep into the adolescent, blood dark as ebony spilling out.

Mark kept a stoic face, staring him right in the eye while the demon choked upon his own blood. “Is this a bad time?” Mark quickly turned around, dropping the body of the apprentice and facing Amy incredibly nervously. “I swear I can explain! He’s some kind of demon and has been spying for-” Amy cut him off by handing him his phone. “I found your phone since you dropped it running up here, and you have a very concerning voicemail.” Mark raised an eyebrow as she unlocked the phone, playing the voicemail. 

“MARK, PICK UP, PLEASE! YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT DAMIEN HE’S-” The sound of a familiar laugh abruptly cuts off the message, sending chills down his spine. “He’s back, isn’t he?” Amy asked, putting her hand onto Mark's shoulders. “He is, and he’s set his eyes on them. But I know what to do now..” Mark walked over to his closet, opening it and taking out a large black mirror. He placed his hand upon the glass, reciting a short incantation, the glass swirled and warped, engulfing his hand in it. “What are you doing? She asked, slightly startled. “Amy, if I don’t make it back, tell Chica she’s a good girl for me, alright?” and with that he disappeared into the mirror.  

Dark stood in his room, watching the situation unfold through a mirror. A pest such as Mark would not be ruining his plans again, He was prepared this time. The demon picked up a phone and dialed a number. “Hello Wil, If it isn’t too inconvenient could you take care of a..problem for me? I cannot have that vermin ruining my plans again.” 

“Oh old friend..I thought you’d never ask.”

(Happy halloween!🎃🎃)

[am-i-late-to-this08]

BROKEN GLASS

DA X DARKIPLIER

My first da x darkiplier fanfiction so be nice 👍

Pt. 1?

Warning: swearing, panic attack, blood

"COME BACK YOU BITCH!" You punch the mirror out of anger, to no avail. "GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU FUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOW!" Your voice ricochets off the Walls of the mirror. "GET, Get me out." The blood in your ears defining you. "Please, please," You said as your voice faded into a whisper, your legs gave out underneath you and fell to the ground. "Fuck all of you." Tears cascaded down your face onto the tiles beneath. The entry was silent, only the echoes of your voice and damen-celine-mark things footsteps. That godforsaken bitch put you in here, whatever it is now, out there in your body you think? You don't know what happened, or where you are. You don't even know what you are anymore, only that you're stuck in a mirror. Stuck in this entry until someone has use of you.

No sense of time makes everything better. You think. The only thing keeping you sane is the ever increasing sense that one day you'll be useful to someone and get out. Your only purpose now is to watch as the years or centuries pass and wait. You've had a long time to think about what happened, and consider your life choices. All of this makes zero sense, but you know every letter of the books that were kept in the entrance room. The small bookshelf is slim pickings, a Bible, encyclopedia, a thesaurus, Shakespeare's greatest plays, molby Dick, smoke and mirror's (the irony),grimms fairytale and a book in Latin. You pick up molby dick off the coffee table and flip to the bookmarked page, somewhere in the middle. A sound of glass shattering catches your attention, maybe a raccoon or something like that. Instead you see yet another shard fall from the ever disappearing mirror. You fear once the remaining shards fall yet another confusion series of events may occur. "How do I know what I look like?" You ask yourself. After however long you have been in here, you lost any capacity to keep thoughts inside. Not like anyone will hear you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yet another scuffle draws your attention to the outside. "Look how far you've fallen." A smooth voice coos. "I can't believe you're still here. Good God." Damien's tone calls. "You..." I glare at the man before me. His gray skin contrasts with his white tuxedo, lines of blue and red etch him. "... You bitch." He looks you up and down disinterestedly. Dark circles line his eyes, or is it eyeliner? "That's gay." You whisper. His brow furrows. "Pardon?" You laugh. "You're wearing eyeliner. That's gay as hell. Or did Celine do that?" You ask. He simply shakes his head. Red copy's glitch around him as his eyes flash black. "Celine says hello." Your face goes blank. "So, what do you need from me? Wanna steal whatever is left of my soul? I can't think of anything else you can get from me." You grumble. "You always saw through me. I mean us." The last word emphasized by a distortion in his voice. "I need your help." He paused as his face softened. "You're the only person I can trust." Rage contorted your's. "Seriously?" You snort. "After how long? You ask me for help? Why don't you use my body for something useful, like digging a hole and dying in it?" You snap. Before he can respond you turn away as glass cracks underneath your feet. He sighs. "It been ninety four years. I thought you might wanna know." Ninety four years? Shit that's a long time,you think. "How's the colonial? Is he dead?" You ask. " No, he's alright. As alright as he can be, watching you die changed him. Now-now he's fucking insane. Worse than you, and your bad." He adds, avoiding your glare." Thanks." You mutter. "Nothing is going to get better if you stop being so goddamn stubborn all the time." The blue etchings glitch around him, Damien? "Go. Fuck. Yourself." You hiss, he recoils like he's been struck. "Alright." His tone shift's to calm. "Stay in here for the rest of eternity and rot more than you already have. I won't come back, not for a long time." His gaze finally meets yours, no emotion in his eyes. "If you want I can bring you something to pass the time. Or, I can get you out and you can help me. This is your choice." He adjust's his jacket, fidgeting around. " Go. Fuck. Yourself." You hiss again. He shakes his head and breaks contact." I'll come back tomorrow in case you change your mind." He looks you over one last time before walking away.

"Fine, I'll do it. Only if I don't ever come back here." You cracked,the thought of eternity in this place was worse than whatever he had planned you decided. "And this time, I won't be your pawn. I won't be killed ether. Last time it didn't end well." He nods. First thing in the morning he came back, all your rage yesterday disappeared and turned to grief." Do we have a deal? "He purrs, something shift's in his eyes. "Yes. But-how exactly does this work? Will I be possessing anyone?" You asked. Dark shook his head and laughed." No, it's hard to explain but you'll get your old body back. So, don't worry." He explained calmly." Okay, get on with it." You chime. He reached out his hand, his fingers dipping into the inky black in-between of the mirror. You follow his motion. His cold hands contrast with your hot and clamy ones, with a firm tug your hand is pulled through the black. All of a sudden every heartbeat sends waves of needle-like pricks and and pain through your body. You clench your jaw and hiss through the pain, his grip tightens. You feet come off the floor and kneecaps scrape against the remaining shards of glass. Just like it started the pain fades replaced pounding in your head and the stinging in your legs. You opened my eyes which you unknowingly closed. With your eyes glued to the floor you notice the diamond tiles are backward and the way your blood drips on the dusty tile. Once your breathing began to steady you lift your head, dark stood a few inches away with his hand reached out comfortingly. "Thank-thanks." You croaked, his smile brightened. The blood seeped out of the wound on your knees, bits of glass still stuck in your flesh. You looked down at your blood stained white dress pants, the outfit you 'died' in. "You're bleeding." Dark said, hand still in yours. He follows your eyes and pulls back his hand leaving yours cold. "Shit." He swears." What?" You ask, blood still dripping." Let's get you cleaned up, we need to go." He says huridley. " Okay, I doubt there's any clothes or a first aid kit here." You grumble." Right." A tingle goes across your kneecaps and the monotonous dripping stops. You look to see the open wounds close and the bits of glass fall into the puddle of blood. "Since when can you do that?" You blurt. He lifts his head and meets your eyes. "Practice." You scoff at his response.

[lailakotori]

Hey i was wondering if you could write headcanons for Wilford with a reader whos shy and dosnt talk much? gender neutral pronouns please :}

Headcanons Shy and talk least reader | Wilford x GN!Reader

Omg, my first request- *Exciting Scream*

Ok ok, calm down myself. These headcanons make my brain work fast like a car and make me excited, I love to imagine how this dynamic couple being cute asf . Enjoy my first headcanons on Tumblr! :DD

Summary: Wilford and SHY!GN!reader some headcanons

TW: fluff, Just fluff, English not my first language so- I’m sorry for how bad I am T.T

Your first meet is in the disco club. You go with your close friend because they want to hook up with someone. They let you alone in a loud place. Drink some water and wait for the bestie to come back. You wait so long, I could say you are so boring and want to go home right now. Until you meet Wilford who drinks a margarita next seat of you, When he saw you he tries to talk with you like. Of course, you so nervous because you too shy to talk stranger like him.

But damn... You are so comfortable to listen his speech. Don’t have to answer the question all the time, just listen. Sometimes he asks about you and you answer but not much or long like his, And he neverminds about that. (Such an angle *sod*)

Then your friends come back from hook-up, You and Wilford say goodbye. he got your number and said “I’ll call you later, Honey!” that make you blush hard and run to your friends.

That night change your life.

He calls you every day, every night. Sometimes talk about other egos, Sometimes talk about his TV shows. He loves to tell all the things to you.

Both of you always meet in the disco club and take the time together like talk or dance on the floor.

Wilford loves to call you ‘Honeybun’ because you’re shy like a bunny and act sweet like Honey.

And yeah...he calls that cuz he has a crush on you.

He flirts with you with a joke to make you giggle. He loves to see you smile, It’s like a precious for him.

One day, he invited to meet another ego, Especially Darkiplier his BFF.

When you meet all of ego first time, It’s got your nerves so much. Wilford holds your hand and try to make you calm, Speak to you with gentle voice.

Every ego adores you like sister. They treat you well but that make Wilford jealous them cuz you talk more than before but not with him.

After that, he hugs you in the living room. Not let you go anywhere, you try to but it's didn't change.

“...W- Wilford”

“Mhm...” He mumbles on your head.

“Can you let me go? I- I’m thirsty”

“No honeybun, we’ll stay at this forever” he tight his arm

“Then how to M- make you let me go” you ask, lay eyes see him sulk.

“Talk to me, more than everyone”

“Huh-”

“No ‘Huh’ honeybun”

You try your best not to make it awkward, and he satisfied them so lets you go and peek at your cheeks. That's make you embarrassing.

Illinois knows Wilford is in love with you, So he tries to help his own best to make both of you date together. Yancy suggest music to make them dance together.

Of course, Dark knows too but he didn't seem to care that much. He just saw two idiots trying their own best.

Wilford is the person who asks you to date with him, and you say yes :))

You and him fully being partners, Not as besties but as Lover.

Now now, SIMP TIME BITCHES

He always thinks about you and talk about you like how cute you are. And it's make Dr.iplier annoying asf. (LMAO I CAN’T-)

Every time he saw you, He kiss you everywhere and tell how adore you are.

At every celebration, Wilford would invite you to dance together.

He loves a hugs! <3

He always tells you about a day he is, You listen carefully and braid his little hair.

Sometimes he teaches you to learn how to talk more but if you are uncomfortable, he decided to stop right now.

But you know what? Maybe he will not teach that thing because he learns something from you.

‘Talk less, Smile more’ that’s what he learns, And he prefers to let you be like that.

Of course, you’re shy and talk less but didn’t mean don’t have your own love language. Your love language is time quality. And Wilford is physical touch as l said he loves to kiss and hug you.

He love to see you were a pink color match with him.

He dreams that one day, you and he will marry and have a family.

[melancholypancakes]

The Sandman, Sweetbitter & Markiplier TV Incorrect Quotes (Plus me) (References are from”Thegoodadvicecupcake)

Cats During The Day

Y/n: Aw! So cute! 

Y/n sees Lord Meowpheus sleeping on her bed

Y/n: Precious little angel~ 

Cats at Night

Y/n is trying to sleep but has insomnia. Her eyes are wide open while Meowpheus is running around the room 

Y/n: THIS. CAT. WAS SENT FROM HELL. TO KILL ME. 

Lord Meowpheus purrs and his fur gets in Y/n's face

{...} 

Hob: You're my BFF, right? My ride or die? 

Dream: Always. 

Hob: Ineedyourhelpburyingsomething. Noquestionsasked. 

Dream:...

Dream summons a shovel out of nowhere

Dream: No Questions needed. 

Later, AT 2am 

Dream and Hob digging in the garden at Hob’s work 

Hob is a cinnamon roll and finishes gardening Night-shades flowers 

Hob: perfect! These Night-shade flowers look beautiful here. 

Hob and Dream look at Night-shade flowers in awe 

{...} 

Simone looks at Y/n, she is reading a book 

Simone: Y’know, maybe I should read more like Y/n does. 

Jake: Y/n is so smart though! 

Jake obviously admires Y/n

Jake: I bet her books are far more sophisticated for us.

Simone agrees 

Y/n is reading an erotic novel and blushes red 

Y/n: He does WHAT, To her WHERE?!

{...} 

Aphrodite: Oh, Oneiros….You’re so hard on yourself. 

Aphrodite: You deserve kindness and patience…

Morpheus is brooding and moping 

Aphrodite: Try speaking to yourself, as if you were your own friend! 

Aphrodite holds Morpheus's hand as he nods and looks at the lake

Morpheus: You…DUMB. HOE. 

Aphrodite: Regular friend. Not best friend. 

{...} 

At the beginning of everything when Morpheus and Desire are young 

Morpheus: Mom, who’s your favorite child? 

Desire: It’s me, isn’t it~

Night: Oh Boys, I love you both equally~ 

Night: Goodnight, my sweet Dream~ 

Night kisses Dream’s head 

          Night: Goodnight, My…Ughhh… 

Desire looks at his mom in confusion and Night looks back at him 

Night: Other one. 

Desire in pure shock as Dream has a smug look on his face 

                          {...} 

Witch! Y/n and Morpheus on their first date 

Witch! Y/n talking a lot and fast

Witch! Y/n: Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah 

Morpheus smiles and drinks tea 

Witch! Y/n stops talking and stares at Morpheus

Witch! Y/n: Oh sorry… 

Morpheus: ? 

Witch! Y/n: I talk a lot…

Witch! Y/n looks away sad and embarrassed 

Morpheus slams his hands on the table and the tea falls on the table while Y/n is in shock

Morpheus: Don’t stop! It’s easier to listen… 

Morpheus gives a small smile at Y/n while holding his hand out for her and she takes it

Witch! Y/n:... 

Witch! Y/n smiles and looks at Morpheus

Witch! Y/n: And so, I was like blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah 

{...} 

Morpheus and Nymph! Y/n laying in bed together 

Nymph! Y/n: I never want to leave your arms~ 

Morpheus shocked

Morpheus: really?... 

Nymph! Y/n: Of course! 

Nymph! Y/n smiles sweetly at Morpheus 

Morpheus tears up

Nymph! Y/n: Oh…Dream, I love you!

Nymph! Y/n hugs Morpheus 

Morpheus's right arm underneath Nymph! Y/n back and his arm grows dead tired 

Morpheus: I love you too…. 

{...} 

Y/n and Wilford sitting on a bench 

Ruthanne: I could’ve come up with lots of reasons not to do it…

Ruthanne: But I was just scared. so I did it anyways!

Wilford points a finger up as Ruthanne waits and suddenly Wilford appears with balloons in the air 

Ruthanne is in awe as she is given a golden medal from Wilford that said “Did it anyways!” 

Ruthanne standing on #1 place as a parade underneath her 

Ruthanne looks up to see a sign in the sky from an airplane saying “Did it anyways” 

Ruthanne smiles as she is immediately in a big hug from Wilford 

Wilford: I’m so f*cking proud of you!!! 

{...} 

Alice attends to Wilford tea party

Wilford: Alice! 

Wilford waves at Alice to come over to the table 

Wilford: Welcome to my cute b*tches only tea party! 

Alice is amazed 

Wilfrord: Please, sit down. 

Wilford says as Alice sits down, being served tea 

Alice: Wilford, this is easily one of the best ideas you’ve ever had. 

Alice holds a filled tea cup close 

Alice: I can’t wait to- 

Alice smells a disgusting smell 

Wilford begins to grow worried 

Wilford: What…what is it? 

Alice:...Your teacup. it smells…like FISH 

Wilford is in shock 

Wilford: WHAT?? NO WAY!!! 

Wilford grabs a teacup and smells it, his face is in disgust

Wilford throws it away

Alice is worried

Wilford: How did this happen?!

Dark comes in, drinking his black coffee 

Dark: We did cook salmon last week. 

Wilford looks at Dark and garbs his face 

Wilford: BUT THAT WAS LAST WEEK!!! 

Alice is confused 

Alice: you don’t clean your dishwasher? 

Wilford is in shock as he did not know that and Alice faints on the floor

Wilford comes to her side as she lies there

Alice: You have to clean it with…

Alice looks at Wilford weakly 

Alice: Affresh tablets! 

Alice pretends to be dead for dramatic effect 

Wilford gasp before she opens her left eye

Alice: Also, your shirt stinks. Clean your laundry machine too. 

Alice pretends to be dead for dramatic effect again 

Wilford is sitting there in shock before he screams

Wilford: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

{...}

Desire: Let’s start a new trend, where we don’t get embarrassed for being ourselves. 

Desire: And you Motherf*ckers that like making people embarrassed for being themselves. 

Desire: Mind your F*cking business and go fill out for a job on “Indeed”! 

Desire: Oh better yet, go to counseling and stop ruining our lives. We get IT. You don’t like yourself. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. 

{...} 

Aphrodite when she finds out her sexuality 

Aphrodite spins the wheel of sexuality

Arrow points to “Bisexual” 

Aphrodite: Awesome! 

Aphrodite looks at the fates 

Aphrodite: Does this mean I get double chances in a relationship? 

Fates:...

Aphrodite:...

Aphrodite looks at them with hopeful eyes 

Fates: More like more chances to be ALL BI- yourself!

GODS and Nymphs start laughing 

Aphrodite looks at the fates and walks away

{...} 

Desire: I’m Desire, I go by They/Them. 

Aphrodite: I’m Aphrodite, I go by She/her! 

Aphrodite: And if you don’t respect us using our pronouns…

Aphrodite gets all scary 

Aphrodite: You’ll be a were/was. 

{...} 

Witch! Y/n: Sometimes…someone does something that makes you MAD. 

Morpheus: Y/n…I spilled water on your spellbook…And then I dropped it, aaaaand then I accidentally set it on fire…I’m sorry.

Witch! Y/n:....

Witch! Y/n: And even though, they apologized, you might not be ready to forgive them. And that’s okay! 

Witch! Y/n: Because It’s important to process emotions! 

Witch! Y/n looks at Morpheus, crosses her arms, and looks away

Witch! Y/n: Hmph! 

Day and night pass by 

Next Day

Morpheus: Are you still mad- 

Witch! Y/n: DON’T TALK TO ME YET!!!

Morpheus is just shock 

Day and Night pass again

Morning

Witch! Y/n: Okay, I’m over it. 

Morpheus smiles and they both hug

Morpheus: Oh, I also may have…hurt Lucienne’s feelings. 

Witch! Y/n twitches in anger

Witch! Y/n: DREAM!!!

{...} 

Narrator: She’s a 10, but… 

Melancholypancakes pinning for Morpheus 

Narrator: she loves fictional characters more than you. 

{...}

Witch! Y/n stuck between people on a train

*Witch! Y/n sighs*

Witch! Y/n: whenever life feels too hectic, I like to put on my headphones… 

Witch! Y/n: just listen to something soothing…and let it all melt away~ 

Witch! Y/n puts headphones on and plays HEAVY METAL 

Witch! Y/n: SO. RELAXING! 

{...} 

Co-worker: What do you have plan for your day off Melancholypancakes? 

Melancholypancakes: Nothing. 

Co-worker: Aw, I’m sure you can think of something. Maybe a hike, or a concert, or a- 

Melancholypancakes: You don’t understand. The PLAN is NOTHING. 

Melancholypancakes lazy around on the couch

Melancholypancakes: Aww, Yeah…

{...} 

Witch! Y/n returns to the dreaming

Witch! Y/n: There you are, I missed you so much!!!

Morpheus smiles

Morpheus: aw…I missed you to- 

Witch! Y/n runs and hugs Matthew 

Witch! Y/n: My handsome boy~ 

Matthew being “Mr. steal your girl” 

Matthew nuzzling on Witch! Y/n

Witch! Y/n: I love you more than anything in the world!!!

Witch! Y/n: You give me purpose. There is literally nothing. NOTHING. I love as much as you~

Morpheus in shock and jealously 

{...} 

Witch! Y/n eating an apple

Witch! Y/n: What you choose to do…

Witch! Y/n throws the apple aside

                Witch!: Has a big effect on the universe!

          Giant tree grows

Witch! Y/n: you’re like a Wizard~

Witch! Y/n in her black Witch outfit 

Witch! Y/n: So, act like it!!

{...} 

Y/n minding her own business, looking at her phone in the restroom 

Loud banging noises on the restroom door 

Y/n yelps 

Y/n: Uh…Occupied? 

Y/n: Who’s there?? 

More Loud banging noises on the restroom door 

Y/n gets scared

Y/n: Show yourself!!

The door opens and Lord Meowpheus appears 

Lord Meowpheus: Meow!

Lord Meowpheus jumps on Y/n's lap and lays on her

Lord Meowpheus purrs 

Y/n: there’s nooo privacy in this apartment…

{...} 

Young Ophelia shopping with her older brother 

Ophelia sees Louis Sweeton's boots and Leo eyeing her 

Leo: Ophelia. We’re on a budget. 

Ophelia: I NEEEEEEEED IT! 

Leo: C’mon, Ophi. 

Leo drags Ophelia to leave, not dealing with this sh*t 

12am

Leo is still sleeping 

Ophelia wakes up

Ophelia: IT’S TIME. 

Black Friday and everyone is screaming and stealing objects left and right 

Someone looks at the boots but Ophelia grabs them and punches the person in the face 

{...} 

Desire: Wow. You’re so short! Very stubby limbs. You make a nice armrest~ 

Y/n getting offended 

Y/n: Hmph! 

Desire: Why are you getting mad~ I’m just saying how I want to put you on my dashboard like an itty bitty, dainty little toy~ 

Y/n: I’LL DESTROY YOU! AHH! 

Y/n starts beating the sh*t out of Desire while he screams for his sister 

Death: Never ever. Insult a short person's height. 

Death gets scared

Death: They’re Vicious….

{...} 

Kindergarten 

Teacher: Okay, class I’m going to need some STRONG boys to help carry these chairs~ 

Little Ophelia carrying all chairs 

Little Ophelia: F*ck the patriarchy!!!

[zee-stars]

Fake Dating (Damien x reader)

Authors note: I swear to god with man is so pretty. Based off the love trope post I made. Also sorry if perspectives are all over the place Im so bad at this :[

Summary: Damien is fed up with people trying to hook him up with their daughters or woman flirting with him so he tells them you're his wife. Downside, you're not.

"Damien! It's good to see you!" Some old man announces while Damien is standing at the punch bowl.

"Hey, how's it going?" He greets.

"Pretty good, pretty good. Say, how would you like to meet my daughter? She is a lovely young woman." He should have known this was gonna happen as soon as the man walked over. This is the third attempt of someone trying to hook him up with their daughter or some random drunk woman trying to get him home with them.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure she's beautiful but I actually plan on leaving in a few minutes." He stutters out before an older woman comes towards him.

"Oh, Percy, leave him alone. Besides, he probably has 100s of woman coming after him. He doesn't need you're daughter coming after him." The woman laughs.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" The man shouts. Another man comes in, talking over them.

"What he really needs to do is find a woman and settle down with her. Not be a player." The man scoffs. Damien takes great offense to that. He doesn't want 100s of woman interested in him. He wants one woman. He's not trying to be a player. He isn't one.

"I have found a person." He blurts out in the heat of the moment. The group of people around him grows silent and stares at him.

"Really? Is that true?" The woman asks. He shifts awkwardly. He doesn't prefer to lie. But, he feels like he doesn't have another choice in the matter right now.

"Yes, it's true."

"Oh, I'm sorry. If I knew I wouldn't have offered my daughter to you." The man apologizes.

"It can't be true! He doesn't have a ring." The second man points out.

"I-I do have a ring. Just I had to get it resized it was too tight." He is sort of proud of how quickly he can come up with a lie.

The men around him nod and the woman come closer, asking about his spouse.

"Oh, Damien, what is their name? What are they like? When did you meet?"

"Uh, their name is Y/n, they are very pretty and kind and we've been friends for as long as I can remember." See, none of what he said was a lie. It's just that Y/n is not his spouse. Y/n is his childhood best friend that now works right on his side as his secretary. By they seem to believe it.

"Oh that's so sweet!" The woman fawns.

"I suppose you better get home then, don't want to keep you're spouse waiting. And next time you should bring them." He nods and smiles and takes this chance to leave.

It doesn't hit him what happened until he gets home.

"Oh, shit. What am I gonna tell Y/n?"

____________________________________

The next day at work he is sitting at his desk. He's supposed to be working on the papers in front of him but he can't help but think about the night before. How could he forget when the reminder of what happen is right outside of his office?

After awhile he calls Y/n into his office.

"Hey Dames, what's up? You need some more coffee?" They look at his almost empty cup.

"No, no, well yes but I need to tell you something first." Y/n face is filled with concern as they take a seat in the chair across from him.

"Yes, is everything alright."

"Well, I may have done something wrong." His face flushes pink.

"Oh god, what did you do this time?" A tiny grin appears on both of their faces. God he loves how Y/n can make him smile even when he knows their is a chance they are gonna hate him in the next few seconds.

"So, last night I was at one of the parties I have to attend. And I may have told them that we were married." He mumbles the last part but Y/n hears it all. Their eyes go wide and they can't help but laugh.

"Oh my god, Damien why?" They hide their face in their hands, still laughing.

"They kept trying to hook me up with their daughters or go home with them!" He shouts, which causes Y/n to laugh more. "They also called me a player cause I hadn't settled down yet."

Y/n shakes their head at him. "They called you a player?? Do they not know that you haven't dated someone since sophomore year in high school?!" Y/n starts laughing more.

"Okay, okay, you didn't have to start bullying me. Anyways, we have a bigger issue."

"Okay, I'm sorry. What's up?" They calm down their laughter and look at him seriously.

"I got invited to another party next Saturday. And I told them that I would bring my spouse to the next party..." he trails off.

"So... what I'm getting, is that you want me to be you're fake spouse to the party next Saturday so they'll stop trying to hook up with you?" He pauses for a second.

"Will you??" Y/n smiles and gets to their feet.

"Anything for my husband." They grin before grabbing the cup and walking out of the room. Leaving Damien a blushing mess.

____________________________________

Later that evening at home, he gets a message from Y/n.

Y/n

So do want me to come over so we can practice being a married couple? Maybe have a fake wedding?

Damien

What? Why?

Y/n

1 cause with the amount of experience you have had with relationships you'll probably need a reminder on how they work

Also we'll need rings

Damien

I can search Celine's jewelry for some? I know I have one somewhere.

Y/n

Kk

I'll be right over baby :)

Damien

???

Y/n

It's a couples thing🙄

About 30 minutes later there was a knock on the door and Y/n came rushing in.

"Oh, honey I'm home!!" They shout.

"I feel like you're having to much fun playing this role." He comments.

"Oh I am. I'm so excited to be able to do this around people." They joke. Damien smiles and pulls out his ring and a few of Celine's rings. Y/n let's out a gasp.

"Omg, Damien, are you proposing?!" He rolls his eyes at them.

"Yes I am, I didn't know you're ring size so try them on a see if they fit." You both smile and you try on the rings until you find one that fits.

"I'm glad I told them we were already married so you couldn't come up with the idea of us getting engaged during the party." Y/n threw their head back with laughter.

"Oh but we could get divorced."

"No! Cause then they'll try to hook me up with their daughters." You both laughed. You sat down on the couch and Damien joined you.

"So, how do you practice being a married couple?" He asks.

____________________________________

"What do you mean 'why does it matter?' I have to know what kind of party it is so I know how to dress!" Y/n complained over the phone.

"I don't know I usually just show up in my suit and it's good." Damien answers.

"Okay so fancy but not to fancy, got it, see you in about 30 minutes. Be ready." Before he can respond Y/n hangs up.

Of course he'll be ready. He's always ready on time. He checks himself in the mirror one more time before sitting on the couch. He fiddles with his fingers and waits. Why does it have to be so long. He doesn't want to wait. He's already anxious enough. Not that he doesn't want to go to a party with Y/n. He has many times but never as their "husband". He's thought about what I'd be like. Being their husband. He knows it's silly but he kinda doesn't want it to be an act.

A little while later he hears a knock on the door. He doesn't rush to the door cause he knows you'll just open it. You walk into the kitchen where he is waiting.

"Well, look at you mr handsome." Y/n teases with a smile. "Have I ever told you that you look good in a suit." His face goes slightly pink at the compliment.

"No you haven't, but I accept the compliment. You look amazing." He wanted to say more. Say how handsome/beautiful/pretty they looked in their suit/dress. He wanted to do so much more. But it's just an act that will last for one night. So he better make the best of it.

____________________________________

Damien and his spouse have been the topic of the night. Everyone af the party were waiting for their arrival. Once they say Damien step out of the car they were ready to meet his spouse.

"So a reminder, hand holding, is okay, no kissing on the lips and pet names are alright." Damien nodded as he took your hand to help you out of the car. "Are you alright, love?" Y/n noticing his anxiousness. Y/n was always able to read him well. He nodded as they walked up the steps to the door.

"Just nervous." He stated calmly.

"Hey, if you need a break we can step out or leave." He nodded again and opened the door for you.

"Damien! Pleasure to see you. And you must be Y/n! We were all quite shocked to find out he was married." He laughed and Y/n laughed along with him. The party continues on and everyone is coming up to the duo to meet Damien's spouse.

People are spending the whole night trying to keep Damien's attention but Y/n is the only one who is able to do that. Going from small glances accompanied by smiles from across the room, to quick check-ins whispered into each others ears, followed by gentle kisses on the cheek.

People fawned over your relationship. They talk about how they have never seen Damien smile so much. Never heard him laugh so gleefully. They thought you were the perfect couple. You were just what Damien needed. Not only did everyone think that, he did too.

____________________________________

As the party came to an end, everyone came to say goodbye to the happy couple.

"You two make the cutest couple!" Woman would fawn to you.

"I've never seen you this happy, Damien. They really are the one huh?" Men would say to him. But he would just nod. He couldn't take his eyes off you. Your smile, hair, eyes, lips, you're suit/dress, it was all perfect. It was all his for the night. But now the night was over. He didn't want it to end.

Finally you guys had left. It was a quiet ride home. Y/n was struggling to keep their eyes open, while Damien's mind was racing. All because of Y/n. Every thought was Y/n.

"Hey, we're home." Damien said softly, gently tapping Y/n. Y/n groaned and stretched before getting out of the car. They quickly walk over to Damien as he was already heading towards the house. Once they get into the house Y/n slips off their shoes before getting a drink from the fridge. "You know Dames, I don't get why you dislike the girls there. Some of them were quite pretty!" Y/n announced from the kitchen while Damien was heading to the couch. "Eh, I think some of them are nice. But..." He trailed off right as Y/n came into the room. "But....?" Y/n questioned. "I guess... their not my type." Damien shrugged. Y/n just rolled their eyes and scoffed before sitting down next to him. "Since when do you have a type Dames? Or is it just a person in particular?" Y/n asked. Damien's face started to heat up. It was a person. A person he really liked, and had known forever. Unfortunately Y/n noticed the blush on his face and grinned. "Oooooo, who's the special person?" Y/n teased with a grin. "What? There's no 'special person'" Damien stutters out and rolls his eyes, with an even more obvious blush. "Okay, whatever you say Dames. But can I ask you something?" Y/n asks. He looks at them curiously before nodding. "Why did you say I was your spouse? I know the only person you talk too." That is the one question Damien has been avoiding. He knows why he said it. But he prayed that you wouldn't ask him that. His thoughts raised as he tried to think of an answer. Should he tell you the truth? Did you already know? Would it be better to lie? His thoughts yelled at him to tell you... so he did. "Because... because I want you to be my spouse!" Damien blurted out. He shut his eyes as he was afraid of your response. He didn't want to see your face of disgust as he just admitted his feelings for you. But something he thought would never happened, happened. He felt your soft hands cup his cheeks and the feeling of your hands pulling him closer to you. His lips touched yours and his heart felt like it was going to explode. You had kissed him he never expected this. He dreamed about it sure but he never expected to be able to feel how soft your lips were against his own. He was breathless, it was better than he could ever imagined. When you finally pulled away after what was probably a few seconds, but felt like years to him, he stared at you in complete disbelieve. Until your laugh pulled him back into reality. "You know you could have just said that, instead of going through all this. We are gonna have to get married like... now!"

______________________________________________________________

Finally I finished this. I assure you this isn't as good as it origonally was gonna be but yk it is what it is. Also I'm sorry if the ending is shit idk what I was doing lmao.

hope you enjoyed this :)

[okiefuckindokie]

Now and Then Ch.2

Here is the long awaited chapter to my take on WKM 🤗 It’s been too long and I do plan on still writing for this series (and others that came after WKM like Heist and Space)

I will have my requests closed atm as I still have things to work out but you will see me here and there.

I hope you all enjoy🧡

——————————————————————

Read Chapter 1 here

TRIGGER WARNING: I do have a part in here that involves a p***ck at***k. You can always scroll pass where it says “the fear” and start again the paragraph after the one that follows. 

——————————————————————

You needed to get home. You need to get home as fast as you can. This is getting too extreme. What the actual HELL was that?! And how did they know your name? Well, you were just dreaming; of course people in your dreams can know your name. The library is dead quiet. The lights seem slightly dimmer. Is everyone gone? You quickly looked around the library to see if anyone noticed what had just happened. Thankfully no one did. You gather your things and nearly sprint towards the exit. As you head outside, the storm seems to have subsided for now and you make your way to the bus stop. The entire way there you think about anything and everything different to get your mind off your “almost living nightmare”. The bitter breeze nips at your face, making you scrunch it tight. The flickering light poles are the only thing guiding you to your bus stop. You were about to turn the corner to take a seat but you slam into something pretty hard. Losing your balance, you start to tip over but you feel a strong hand grab at your forearm.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”, the male exclaimed. It took you a moment to gather yourself before properly looking at him. The second you do, it took you by surprise by how attractive he actually is. He has a pretty tall and toned physique from what you can see. Nothing dramatic but you can tell he’s an athlete. He wears a black and white jacket with a matching black beanie and blue jeans. His chestnut colored curly locks peek out of the beanie in front of his fair skinned face. His eyes focused on you are soft despite his worried expression. They’re a warm hazel color that fit his features quite well.

You respond with a sigh, “No, no, that was my fault. I should have been more careful.” He looked at your face for a good few seconds. Does he sense something wrong?

He asks, “Are you sure? Because you look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Oh, if he only knew.. The inner torment you’ve been going through for months now. Countless sleepless nights on top of work and school. It doesn’t even scratch the surface…. He takes your silence as a sign to not go further on the subject. The man sighs as he takes a seat, “Well, the next bus won’t be here for a while.” You hesitantly take yours next to him. “Name’s Benjamin. What’s yours?”.

“Y/N. It’s Y/N.”,you shyly replied. You were running out of things to talk about without seeming too stressed from what just happened. Luckily, your route so happens to come up to the stop, giving you an utter rush of relief. The old, wet, squeaky doors open in front of you and you rise from the bench. You turned to Benjamin and gave him a small farewell smile.

He smiles back and waves, “Nice meeting you, Y/N. Have a good one.” You go on to enter your bus and sit in the very back where nobody else was. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it but it’s almost as if you feel like you’ve met him before? Or maybe even just seen him in public? No… that's not it. Oh well. You don't have the mental capacity to be thinking about this. So you reach into your bag and pull out your earbuds to drown out the world for right now.

The rest of the way home was a blur. You don't even remember walking into your apartment. Almost like a trance.. It wasn't until you slammed the front door that took you out of your thoughts.

Darkness….

That was all what accompanied you; and you were fine with that. Accepting being alone was nothing new. Granted, it made life difficult sometimes. But ever since these… dreams… nightmares… visions… whatever they are; you want nothing more than to just be LEFT ALONE. You drop your belongings on the couch closest to you and head towards your room. The dark and dreary hallway is engulfed by the pitch black shadow of night. You drag your feet against the carpet; you’re exhausted. Hell, that’s not even the start of it. At this point, it’s the vein of your existence. You enter your room and it’s still slightly dirty from this morning because you were almost late to the bus. You plop yourself down to your bed facing the ceiling. This… all of this… it's too much. The dreams. The stress. The fear..

Is it really getting to your head? At this point, who really knows. And if you talk about it, who's gonna believe you? Your friends? Family?? Nobody can help you. The more you think about it, the more you feel like the world is suffocating you. Your chest is pounding with your heartbeat. You try to calm yourself down by slowly closing your eyes and breathing in through your nose and out from your mouth. You do this enough so you feel comfortable to open your eyes again. A tear escapes from your eye and trickles down the right side of your head. The second you noticed, it was all over. There was no stopping it, at least for a while. You turned to your side as you quietly sobbed the night away and eventually fell into slumber.

Some hours passed and you awakened with a headache. Finally getting up from your bed, your feet padded across the floor and you get to the kitchen. You reach your arms out slightly to find the lightswitch and your eyes scrunch up when it turns on. Crying a lot really gets you dehydrated so you grab a glass of water from the sink. There is a window above the sink and you gaze at the night sky. It looks… peaceful. Everything seems like it’s in a standstill and you wish with all your heart you could be a part of that. Just for once to be in peace. You take a moment to try to gather your thoughts. Nowadays with this hellish nightmare, what’s there to think about anymore? And who’s gonna care? You sigh and take a sip. As you lower the glass from your lips, you fixate on the leaky faucet. “Is this my life now?”, you asked yourself. The light starts to flicker for a moment and goes out. A heavy sigh escapes your lips, “Ugh, why now?”. You turned to find the lightswitch again and attempted to turn them back on but to no avail. "Stupid wires… even more stupid apatment…”.

You lower your hand from the switch and suddenly feel the air thicken. Your body is gradually getting the pins and needles all over. This makes you shiver to your core. You want to move. You want to retreat back to your room but you can't. You can't move an inch. It's almost as if there's something keeping you in that spot. A faint ringing resonates in your eardrums. They're getting louder. Louder. LOUDER. You harshly wince at the volume. The pain is getting too much and you try to cover your ears. Your face is scrunched up so hard, it might even get stuck. The noise is persistent and there's no stopping it. With all your might, you attempt to combat the noise with your own. You scream, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEE!?".

And just like that, it stopped. Still holding your head in your hands, you try to breathe. The air grows cold, you can see it in your breath. You slowly gain as much composure as you can. You reach for your ears only to feel some blood coming out of one side. Palpitations are almost setting in. The volume of your chest starts to rise and lower rapidly. Your blood pressure is rising by the second. An unsettling presence invades your home as you try to gather yourself until you hear..

“There you are….” His voice was like poison in the air.

“You, my dear, were a hard one to find…”

[intolerable-sushi]

This is sketches for my Wilford x reader series. (Yes I know his head is big, i struggle with heads.)

[goosedoes-fics]

Quiet

Wilford Warfstache x nonverbal!Reader

Content warnings: Gender neutral reader, use of y/n, boss and employee relationship, what the fuck is a slow burn

Notes: this is another re-upload. errrmmmm wilford the silly

~~~~

"[Y/n]!"

A loud voice jolted you out of your imagination. It was a very slow day, the kind that you'd spend curled up in a blanket by the fireplace, but of course you had to spend it at work. Typical.

You turned expectantly to your jovial sounding co-worker. What you had assumed was correct, as usual. The boss himself, Mr. Warfstache.

To call Wilford a "friend" would be an odd choice of words. You preferred to think of your relationship as strictly professional, but Mr. Warfstache seemed to consider you as a close pal.

Wilford plopped himself unceremoniously next to your seat at the sound booth. A wide grin was present on his face, as usual.

"So! The day's almost over, yeah? You ready to head home?"

You shrugged slightly, hoping he would leave you alone. It's not that you disliked him exactly, but more that he didn't really understand your aversion to conversating. As usual, he paid no mind to your wordless response.

"Me and a few a' the guys are headed over to a fancy li'l resteraunt in the area. And y'know of course I had t' see if you wanted to come along!" The eccentric man grinned wider, maintaining eery eye contact with you.

Naturally, you didn't respond verbally. Honestly, you didn't respond at all. You gave Wilford a strange look, turning your head towards the soundboard and flicking off the power switch for the night.

Wilford leaned forward, trying to catch your eye again. "But, hey, if you don't want a crowd, we can just go by ourselves! The two of us!" he piped up hopefully, his odd voice taking on an even odder tone.

That... actually didn't sound too bad to you. You turned to face him once more, hesitating for a moment before giving him a small nod. His face immediately lit up.

Wilford jumped out of his chair, running a hand through his hair to adjust it. "Well! Let's go now, then!"

With a small sigh, you lifted yourself from the chair, stretching a bit before gathering your belongings and heading for the studio door. Wilford trailed close behind you, locking the door as you exited the building.

The walk was about how you expected it. Wilford chattered away, nearly talking your ear off, but thankfully stayed away from anything that required you to speak. The sun was starting to go down now, painting the sky with a lovely gradient from blue to pink. You took a moment to admire the beauty of the scenery.

It was a little while before you began to realize the two of you had been walking for quite some time. Wilford had piped down a bit, and was glancing around in confusion as he scanned the streets.

"...coulda sworn the damn thing was this way," he muttered, seemingly embarrassed. "Yeah there was... that big ol' sign? And further down was the restaurant, right?"

The odd man seemed quite nervous now. Bits of sunlight filtered through the buildings on the horizon, but the streets were dimly lit as the lamps littering the sidewalks had yet to turn on.

After a moment, Wilford sighed heavily, turning swiftly on his heels. "I don't want us to get lost. Let's just head back." He hung his head sadly. Something told you he had been looking forward to this for a while.

You reassuringly pat his shoulder, making Wilford jump slightly, as if he had forgotten you were there. He looked back at you, giving you a small smile. "Don't you worry, I know where the studio is from here."

The walk back was much quieter than before. Your boss was so uncharacteristically quiet that it startled you half to death when he protectively wrapped an arm around your waist. You didn't protest. The closeness was quite comforting.

Eventually, the two of you managed to return to the studio. It was dark out now, and Wilford dejectedly retracted his arm as he turned to look at you.

"I'm sorry this turned out so boring, [Y/n]," he commented sadly.

You patted his arm again, this time letting the touch linger a bit more than you realized. You swiftly brought your arm back to your side, gazing at the sidewalk with embarrassment.

When you looked back up, Wilford was a bit closer. You felt your face heat up immediately as he drew you into a strong hug. After a moment of shock, you put your arms around him and hugged back.

Wilford pulled away with a deep breath. "Ta be honest, I was really looking forward to spendin' time with you. I didn't mean to get all lost like that."

You blinked in confusion. Wilford was talkative, sure, but he never tried to "spend time" with you outside of work.

"Actually, I'm really sorry for a lot a' things. I know I talk a lot an', I mean, you don't." His words began speeding up as he started to ramble. "You always seem so... uncomfy when I talk to ya. Did it feel like I was pushin' the whole outin' on ya? Gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't think about that, of course it must've felt like that. I'm your boss and you're always so quiet. I wish you had told me, not that this is your fault, but I mean-"

You put a finger over Wilford's lips to stop his rambling, and he cut off quickly. He stared at you for a moment, and as you realized what you had done, you quickly pulled away. You gazed at him and shook your head to indicate his worries were incorrect.

You both stared at each other for a moment. You felt your face heat up in embarrassment once again.

Wilford gently placed a hand on your waist. "Is it okay if I kiss you?" he asked cautiously.

Your face was now evidently reddened. After a moment of processing his words, you nodded slowly.

Wilford brought his face closer to yours, eyes narrowing slightly as he slowly planted his lips on yours. For how rough his hands were, his lips were comfortably soft. The way he kissed you made it seem as if he'd been waiting to for quite some time.

Slowly, he pulled away, pressing his forehead to yours in a caring gesture.

The warmth of the embrace lasted some time before you stepped back, earning a sad whine from Wilford. You smiled slightly.

"It's dark out now. Can I walk you home?" he asked hopefully.

You nodded, grasping his hand firmly as you began leading the way.

The quiet of the night gave you some time to reflect. You realized how easy it was to communicate with Wilford, as you didn't have to say a single word. That was very comforting to you.

Maybe one day you'd even be confident enough to speak in front of him. You smiled at the thought.

Maybe the talkative man wasn't so bad after all.

[mothgodofchaos]

What if Wilford got mad one day? I've never seen a fic about a mad Wilford. Maybe Y/N and wilford got into a fight or maybe the egos did something. Idk I just feel like it would be really hot lol.

Military

Oh yeah, totally would be hot, totally not reflective of the anger that he showed as the Colonel. Totally not. /s

Wilford Warfstache x GN!Reader, TW: none Words: 405

It was indeed rare to see Wilford get angry. Most of the time he was just the bubbly pink man he was. But there were a few rare occasions that would make him exceptionally pissed off. Never was it your fault, and he certainly didn’t enjoy you seeing him angry. So he’d hide away, and you never really understood why, until you actually saw it in front of you. The Jims had once again messed with his filming schedule after months of careful planning, organizing schedules, and working on transportation for the guests for his talk show. He looked like he was about to blow his top. But something about him changed. Like an old resurgence of anger had been coaxed to the surface. It was almost like he became someone else. He stood taller, shoulders broad as he now nearly loomed over the Jims, yet there was now a military-like stiffness to his posture. His hand kept going to his hip as if there was something there that he was reaching for, almost out of instinct. His demeanor and words were very pointed, and the Jims seemed to back off in fear. It took Dark coming out to calm him down, and even then, Wilford was taken into a different room. You didn’t want to eavesdrop, possibly interfering, or even making it worse. A few minutes go by, and Dark comes out alone. He wipes a tear from his eye, nodding to you that you can go in as he walks past you. You hesitate, peering around the door frame to see what happened to Wilford. When you lay eyes on him, it’s a shell of the man you know. Desaturated, shoulders sagging as he fiddles with something in his hands. It’s as if someone put a filter over him, the pinks and yellows of his outfit and hair no longer seeming as vibrant. “Wilford…?” He perks up at the sound of your voice, and you see the tears still in his eyes. Confused, you move to comfort him. “Wilford, you didn’t hurt anyone. Certainly didn’t hurt me, it wasn’t your fault.” “Oh dearheart, you’ll never understand, it will forever be my fault. But you won’t understand. Not for a while, it’s better this way…” He looks back down at his hands, fiddling with a pair of glasses, bifocals on one side. “I don’t need these anymore to see the monster I’ve turned into…”

[drebur123]

Holiday Traditions | Wilford Warfstache X Reader

Holiday Traditions | Wilford Warfstache X Reader

Prompt: Traditions

Day: 5/25

~~~~~

"Hey Wil, what are you up to?" You ask walking into the kitchen. Wilford was never one to bake considering that he was always doing something else. "Hm? Oh, yes. I am making bread," Wilford replies. 

"Why are you doing that?" You ask. "I'm doing this for Christmas. Back when I was a kid my mother made this for our family," Wilford replies, mixing in the flour, "It was always my favorite and ever since I moved out, I haven't had it. It was kind of like a..." 

"Tradition?" You try, leaning on the island a bit. "Yes, yes. It was kind of like a tradition."

"Mind if I help out?" You question, starting towards the sink. "Please do," Wilford says, "I've tried twice to get the dough to rise. It doesn't want to cooperate." After giving your hands a quick wash, you give the recipe card a quick scan. 

"Did you add the eggs?" You inquire. "Eggs?" Wilford repeats, moving to look at the card from behind you. "You see? The writing's a little squished in here." You point at the little bit of the ink in the corner of the card. 

Wilford hums an "oh". "How many eggs do we need per batch?" He asks, opening the refrigerator. "Two," you answer. "Ok. We need four."

After getting the eggs out Wilford adds them to his mixture of stuff. "What's next?" he requests. 

Wilford and you have finished making the dough in about thirty minutes. "Now what?" He asks.

"We have to wait for it rise," you reply, placing some plastic wrap over the bowl and putting it in the refrigerator next to the egg carton. "How long is that going to take?" Wilford questions. "A few hours." 

"Oh. So now what do we do?" You shrug. "Whatever you want to."

Wilford thinks for a moment. "Do you want to watch a movie?" He inquires, rubbing the little bit of flour off his mustache which is now back to it's bright pink color.

"Sure. Which one were you thinking?"

"How about 'Home Alone'? My mother made a point to watch that one every year," he suggests. You agree and you both make your way to the living room.

While watching the movie you were joined by Dark and The Host, whom have just came back from their shopping trip.

After the movie ended Wilford and you return to your spot in the kitchen. "Could you spray the pan, y/n?"

You quickly get out the spray, doing as Wilford asked. Once the pan was sprayed, Wilford plopped the dough in and stuck it in the oven.

"Now that we've completed my bread we can do one of your traditions," Wilford states, waiting for you to give him one.

"I... I don't think my family really had any traditi-" "Nonsense," Wilford interjects, "Surly there is at least one."

You shake your head no. "Not that I can remember." Wilford pauses as he thinks. "Recipes? Movies? Decorations? There has to be something that you remember."

"I guess we made sugar cookies-" "Marvelous!" Wilford exclaims, pulling you along into the kitchen.

That's how you ended up baking the rest of the day away with Wilford.

[jacksepticeye-simp]

Since you say requests are open and you want some 🤭

I haven’t seen a Wilford one from you in your masterlist, so! (If you were comfortable with it!) something where Wilford confesses to a gn reader. Where Wilford asked them out, but the reader thinks it’s a friendly outing but when Wilford asks them to date him, they fully realize the situation and get flustered!

Keep putting out stories, you’ve got this and I’m proud of you Andrew! ☺️

Confession (Wilford Warfstache x GN! Reader)

OOOO I'VE BEEN DYING TO WRITE FOR WILFORD!! ALSO TYSM FOR YOUR KIND WORDS LJ THEY MEANS LOTS TO ME!! <333

The clock on the wall of your office was ticking away as you typed on the computer. You still had a long way to go before your shift ended, But it wasn't like you had much outside of work in the first place considering you lived by yourself. You started typing again, but you were interrupted by a hand being put on your shoulder, which startled you and caused you to fall off your chair. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry my dear. Are you alright?" a familiar voice asked, reaching a hand out towards you. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you met Wilfords gaze. He smiled charmingly as he helped you up. "I'm fine, thank you, Wil." You said, quickly looking to the ground. "Good! I can't have my future lover- I mean.. very good friend being injured!" He stated, brushing some floor dirt of your shoulders. "Did you need anything?" You asked him, sitting back down on your chair. "Oh yes! Would you meet me in my office in about..30 minutes? I have something of utmost importance to discuss with you." He responded, straightening his bowtie. Before you could agree, he was gone and there was a sucker on your desk of your favourite flavour. You pondered on why Wilford might want to meet you in his office, He was very unpredictable so really it could be anything from a trap to kill you or wanting your help with something.

30 minutes had passed and you walked into Wilfords office, taking in the scenery. It was like walking into a parallel dimension where everything was vomited on by pastels and a rainbow. The only thing that really stuck out in the room was the blob of void which was Wilfords cat. The cat perked up and ran over to you, rubbing herself up against your legs happily. You felt oddly compelled to pet this cat, so you did. The cat purred and meowed in response, continuing to rub her fur all over your clothes. "Thank you, I appreciate the gesture." You told the cat, your tone dripping with sarcasm. Wilford appeared and picked up the cat, smiling at your presence. "Oh you came! I'm very glad." He spoke eagerly as he set the cat atop the cat tree in the room. "Now, we have much to discuss. Have a seat!" He said, ushering you towards the empty chair on the opposite side of his desk. "So, why did you want me here?" You asked, a hint of fear in your tone. "I wanted to know if you'd perhaps be interested in dinner with me tonight? My treat of course." He said, smiling like the gentleman he was. "Oh sure! I'd love to. I always enjoy it when my friends ask to hang out!" You said, smiling. Wilfords smile faltered for a moment. "..Right, yes..̷f̷̷r̷̷i̷̷e̷̷n̷̷d̷̷s̷...." You could've sworn his eye twitched. "Well then my dear, you should be finishing up your work. I wouldn't want to keep you from it." He said, waving his hand at you dismissively. You exited the office, closing the door behind you.

Wil turned around in his chair as he twirled his mustache. "I must wow them with something grand. Something that'll surely sweep them off their feet." He thought long and hard, but his legs started cramping. He went to get up but he felt a fluffy mass in his lap. He looked down and found his cat sitting there. "Hm. Well, that's a problem." He stated while petting the cat.

A few hours later, you entered the restaurant and gaped at how marvelous it was. You felt incredibly out of place as a hostess guided you to where Wilford sat. He looked absolutely gorgeous, wearing a wonderful crisp suit and pink tie, he held something behind his back but you couldn't make out what it was exactly. He smiled brightly as he saw you. "You made it! Have a seat!" You did as told, sitting in front of him. "I've been meaning to tell you something, very very important..But it may damage our friendship.." He hesitated for a moment. "Whatever you tell me, I'm sure it won't damage anything about our friendship. You're my best friend Wiford and you always will be, no matter what." Wilford sighed. "I am going to cut straight to the point. I am madly in love with you and I'd very much like it if you'd become my lover." He quickly said, placing a bouquet pink roses between the 2 of you. Your cheeks flushed a shade of red you never thought existed. "Y-You like me? W-Wil..I..I feel the same.." You sputtered out, your face only getting hotter. Oh god, you felt like you were about to pass out from excitement. Wilford smiled. "I love you, so very much sugarplum."

"I love you too, Wil.."

[mildly-intrusivethoughts]

Trying to Get You to Bed

A/N: I’ve been sleeping bad, so I decided to make some little fics on it. Made it GN for the besties. Enjoy <3 Word Count: 635

Wilford: “Oh dear!” Wilford was rambling on about who knows what when he finally notices how late into the night it had gotten. He turns to look at you, asking if you were ready for bed but sees that you clearly were. You had arranged yourself on the armchair with your legs propped up on one end of the armrest and your head on the other. You tucked your arms into your body so they wouldn’t dangle. He debated taking a quick picture but instead locked it away in his memory, deciding that it indeed was time for bed. He walked over to you and rubbed your shoulders, gently kissing the top of your head attempting to wake you up to go to bed. You turned away from him, mumbling “Okay, let’s go” but made no actual effort to get off the chair, instead turning in more to try to get comfortable. Eventually, he carefully picks you up and takes you to bed, kissing your face softly saying how silly you were, the words barely making it past your ears.

Actor!Mark: It was only 08:30 pm. You both were lounging in the living room, it was a quiet night. He was on one end of the couch looking over scripts while you were on the other side, browsing through your phone trying not to disturb him. Then with one long exaggerated sigh, he gets off the couch and stretches loudly, letting out a pleased hum as his joints crack. You look up from your phone with an eyebrow arched, “Where you going?” You can tell he heard you but he didn’t respond, instead he sauntered over to the few lamps that were on in the living room, twisting the knobs to ‘OFF’ one by one, till the only light from the living room came from your phone. His barely visible figure moved towards the doorway of the room. Realizing you hadn’t moved from your spot on the couch he finally responded back, “Well? Are you coming to bed?” and left the room. You quickly hopped off the couch after him.

Dark: It was late into the night and you were still typing away on your laptop. The emails seemed never ending and you couldn’t stop yourself from replying. Dark simply watched you from the other side of your office space. ‘Better to finish replying now than to open up to a full inbox’ you had told him, by this point it seemed like it was hours ago. There was something that frustrated him as he watched you hunched over your laptop, screen practically inches from your face. Your eyes were clearly strained, now that he remembered, weren’t you supposed to be wearing glasses? Glancing up at the old clock in the room, he decided that you’ve had enough. You barely glanced up at him over your screen. Before you had a chance to tell him you were almost done, Dark’s fingers slid up behind the laptop’s screen and began pushing forward, slowly closing it down until they barely touched down on your hands, “I think you’re done for tonight” he said. “I was almost done” you said, laughing a little as you were caught off by his actions. Dark stood unwavering, his aura growing slightly more intimidating as he pressed a little more lightly on the laptop. Your eyes met with his, hoping you could puppy eye your way for more time but there was no room to convince him you still had time for a few more emails. With a defeated sigh, you pulled your hands off the keys and slumped back into your chair as Dark rounded the table to your side. “Let’s go,” he said a little softer this time, pulling your hand to get you out of your chair.