#wife rights for binghe!!!

[diushek]

Shen Yuan is a young demon prince from a rather unimportant kingdom; actually, his kingdom and his race of humanoid demon-snakes are actually so unimportant and unimpressive that not even Emperor Luo Binghe had been interested in getting the lands, or control of the kingdom... Or any of the princes! Of course they are loyal to the Emperor and serve under him, but... Luo Binghe hadn't tried anything!! Not even once!!!

Not that Shen Yuan is offended, though, the Emperor's HUGE harem is a crazy thing... He doesn't really want to be there nor anything like that. But it can't be a little hurt in his pride that the kingdom he grew up in and adores is so uninteresting to someone like the Emperor.

However, the final straw comes when Luo Binghe marries an Eastern Bird Demon Princess. Yes, she may be pretty as a painted doll, but the Eastern Bird Demons have shitty behavior! They are less interesting than Demon Snakes, much more flattering and fragile, conflictive and above all hypocritical! They don't even have their own venom or are capable of hunting their own prey!! They were just tasteless birds with huge tits and wings that shouldn't allow them to fly because of their anatomical inaccuracy!

"If you're so upset with Junshang's marriage decisions, why don't you marry him?" his younger sister says one day, fed up with Shen Yuan's ramblings. And Shen Yuan thinks, well, it's not a bad idea. Even if his sister didn't mean it at all...

But Shen Yuan KNOWS that he really needs to get the Emperor's attention before he just walks up and says "we have to get married, Junshang, because I find it disrespectful for you to marry with all the boring demons in the realms except my type. Which just happens to be me and not my older brothers or younger sister. I'm the only one willing to fix this."

... No, he would be dead before he even said Junshang correctly. So Shen Yuan must... Conquer the Emperor's heart!

Well, considering the huge harem, it's not a difficult task apparently. He will only have to pay for some rumors and stories of how some wives got to that place, prepare lots of court gifts and organize a big engagement party. After all Shen Yuan is very persistent and, above all, patient. He will obtain the Emperor's hand in marriage, and prove that his kingdom is not some insignificant little thing that can't even get the Emperor's attention!!

...

And one day, Luo Binghe starts to be attacked with stranges gifts.

They arrive at his office by confused royal assistants. And those gifts are the rarest and most expensive ones: swords made of crystal bone of an abyssal creature of the rarest kind, flowers with letters which explain all the effects on the cultivation of mixed-blood creatures, venom from a mythical beast thought to be extinct that can be consumed and used as a spice in recipes (which was accompanied by long letters containing strange cooking recipes that Luo Binghe had never heard of, and a more personal letter claiming that it would keep the Emperor entertained, since his mysterious penpal had heard that he enjoyed cooking).

The gifts keep coming, but they get stranger and stranger each time.

Crowns and hair jewelry of reverse reef corals, hairbrushes of mythical blue jade? Handmade perfume floral and exquisite that gave him peace just by smelling it? The essence of a flower that a single drop mixed with dry powder would work as the longest lasting eye paint?

Even silver scales of some demon presented with rubies and diamonds in the embroidery of a... wedding robe??? Exactly being the emperor's measurements????

Someone is... courting Luo Binghe? With useful and exquisite gifts, letters full of excessive details of someone erudite and chaotic, all with that strange air of mystery and power behind it? The servants who leave the gifts are mysterious, pale-featured and somewhat serpentine; Luo Binghe finds it strange to think that this kingdom is behind all this. Why would they do this if after of all, is the kingdom from which his cousin comes? Why would a kingdom that Luo Binghe is already a blood ally with want to deepen an alliance?

But that doesn't take away the absolute surprise that Luo Binghe feels with every gift, the way that every day he wait for something, even if it is a detail, a flower, a letter, anything. Luo Binghe, the Emperor of the Three Realms... is being courted for the first time.

He had courted all of his wives effortlessly some and with ease others. They had, of course, exchanged gifts with him in addition to the pleasures of their company… but none had even attempted to return the courtship. Luo Binghe had never considered it an offense, of course; before being an Emperor, he was a nobody. Now that he was an Emperor, he was just taking from the world what was his.

Being courted was not something Luo Binghe had given much thought to. Now, however, he is being courted by some anonymous person seeking his attention, and Luo Binghe doesn't understand why or how the hell he no longer has his future spouse at his desk, probably leaning on it, so Luo Binghe can lavish his attentions to thanks for every detail.

If it was his turn to be the sweet maiden who is courted and pays with his body and attentions, at that moment, even if he doesn't know who the hell his courter is, Luo Binghe is definitely very interested.

[shizunitis]

Explain "homewrecker"?

all i’m saying is if i were in bing-ge’s position i would not have fumbled shizun

[maomia0]

...is Good Wife by Mika a bingqui song? I feel like it's a bingqui song...

[allpiesforourown]

shen yuan and bingge deserve be adventuring buddies . I need binghe bumping into shen yuan on his way to get wife plot cure #734 and allowing shen yuan to join him because he's bored. binghe finding a treasure trove and readying xin mo to kill the man accompanying him because shen yuan is no doubt coveting the gold and planning to betray binghe. binghe pointing his sword at shen yuan's back and finding him looking at historic murals and copying them down in his notebook. shen yuan says this is exactly what he was looking for and binghe quickly sheathes his sword before shen yuan closes his journal and turns around.

shen yuan: travelling with the protagonist shouldnt be too dangerous as long as I don't piss him off, right? besides there are so many mechanisms in pidw that only open for Binghe... i could spend years looking for artifacts that Binghe can stumble across in a day!

binghe is constantly seeking out some rare plant or trying to complete a quest. shen yuan is trying to explore pidw as much as possible because the world building is actually really good. they find themselves on the same trail so often, one day shen yuan just wakes up in his inn room to binghe standing over him saying "wake up, I'm going to the northern territories today." while Shen Yuan is screaming because why are you in my room!?

Usually Binghe prefers to do things solo but Shen Yuan isn't an unwelcome change of pace... for one thing he's not always slowing him down and can defend himself. for another he's... weirdly loyal to binghe. a bandit group ambushes them one day and shen yuan almost dies defending binghe. (binghe makes sure the entire organization is wiped out)

Binghe's wife: if the two of us don't find [wife plot artifact] I'll die! we must set out immediately!

Binghe: you stay here. I'll go

Her: But the legend says it needs two people or it wont reveal itself

Binghe: yeah I've got someone to go with

Her: ... hello????? this is supposed to be my romantic adventure ??????

[l33n1s]

Disciple Shen Yuan AU but he joins QJ Peak right after Lou Binghe gets pushed into the Abyss. He does NOT know where in the plot he is until it's too late. He's already joined and he can't Just Leave. So he sits himself down and is like "ok new plan, learn as much as possible in the next 5 years and dip before Lou Binghe destroys the sect, got it? Got it."

So he cultivates as hard as he can, turns out he's like a cultivation prodigy. Super cool. He does cultivation things. He gets his spiritual sword. He gets ready to leave and the system won't let him.

The system gives him a mission called "Save Cang Qiong ‼️‼️". So he's freaking out, he thinks he's gonna have to fight Lou Binghe. He's planning his funeral (internally). He's hyping himself up to at least try his best.

Anyway Binghe shows up, gets wife-beamed with the strength of a nuclear missile. Doesn't destroy the sect.

Shen Yuan is very confused when the system pops up with a "Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times! Congratulations on completing mission 'Save Cang Qiong ‼️‼️'!".

Liu Mingyan writes some bs probably entitled something like "Stuck Between My Shizun and My Demon Shixiong 🥺🥺"

[sunderwight]

Thinking about how lucky it is that Shen Qingqiu (SY version) never gave Luo Binghe the wrong impression that he wanted a harem.

Like imagine they've having a conversation and Shen Qingqiu makes some offhanded comment about a harem is all well and good, but he thinks it should definitely be of a manageable size, hint hint, with individuals who get along harmoniously and support their primary spouse, hint hint, and marrying almost everyone you hook up with is just bad form because it's inevitably going to cause friction and it'd be nearly impossible to properly look after that many extra spouses, hint hint.

Luo Binghe picks up on the hints but draws the entirely incorrect conclusions. Combined with his previous inquiries into what kinds of women his shizun likes (SQQ, not wanting to ever be seen as LBH's potential romantic rival and eager to free himself of the original's lecherous reputation: I have no interest in any women whatsoever!) and some subtle inquiries about when a person should settle down (SQQ, with unexamined anxiety at the prospect of his dear disciple heading out into the world: not too soon! a man should establish himself well and figure out what he likes first, and take his time!), Luo Binghe concludes that his master has been biding his time and is building up to constructing a reasonably-sized harem of malewives.

Because apparently, Shizun believes that a man in a position of significant power should inevitably want such things. And disciple Binghe isn't thinking of "a position of significant power" as "effective god-emperor of the whole world", his current ideas of such things are more along the lines of "peak lord" really. Also why should Shen Qingqiu make so many comments about how Luo Binghe must surely be anxious to start taking lovers or daydreaming about having a billion wives unless he just thinks that's the standard for everyone? Because that's what he wants?

It was chaotic enough when just one of these guys was bracing himself for the inevitable harem-building, but if Binghe also expected he was going to have to supply Shen Qingqiu with a stable of other men, hoo boy. Binghe telling himself that he's fine with it. As long as he's first wife, Shizun can have others. Getting particularly vicious towards new guys Shen Qingqiu meets, like okay he's resigned himself to Liu Qingge, and probably maybe also Yue Qingyuan, and in those cases definitely having to fight them tooth and nail for primary spouse position (his plan is to become the undisputed master of the domestic sphere and thereby outrank them on that front, even if he can't beat their peak lord credentials), but anyone else is someone he can potentially chase off and Shizun will still have his reasonably-sized harem. If Gongyi Xiao wants into the harem he's going to have to earn it, and he's getting bottom of the pecking order!

Binghe, after they finally get together, trying to have frank discussions about the inevitable harem. Shen Qingqiu putting on a brave face because he, of course, thinks Binghe's talking about his own harem. Getting confused as to why Liu Qingge is suddenly factoring into the conversation. Then reaching entirely the wrong conclusion because oh right, Binghe is gay now and Liu Qingge is extremely pretty. Makes sense! Definitely not what Binghe means but it makes sense!

Actually this would be a hilarious way for bingliushen OT3 to happen. Just a complete comedy of errors where bingqiu are both trying to secure Liu Qingge for each other without ever concretely establishing that either of them wants him, even though they think they have.

[bloodyfries]

Sqq definitely has the most vile insults to man. He's been an avid internet hater, of course he is.

Though you have to understand that he is an internet hater in a xianxia world, with knowledge about a lot of people, information that he shouldn't know (but does because of reading pidw)

It would be absolute chaos l

Ransom heckler that just so happens to have been important in a wife plot: You're disguising, marrying a demon of all things!

Sqq: Listen here you mouth breathing, paste eating, pointless cannon fodder. Your existence would be more useful as a stain on bed sheets. You are so pathetic that you shouldn't have the right to speak, let alone talk about my marriage. This nonsensical spew that comes from your mouth is why you can't hold a meaningful relationship with you daughter. You dare even speak about my marriage when you can't even keep one for more then a year.

Binghe who was just going to murder the guy:

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SVSSS BRAINWAVE JUST HIT! I HAD A THOUGHT ™

An average modern person transmitigates into SVSSS. Mind you, I specifically mean SVSSS and not PIDW. That’s right, our protagonist awakens to find themselves as a NPC in the world of Scum Villain Self Saving System. And they think to themselves upon waking up, “Oh, I’m an NPC in a xianxia novel with a happy ending! Cool!!” and goes about their life being a background nerd geeking out about plants, and monsters, and cultivation in general, and neat flying swords.

But this is a world of sex pollen and wife plots and unfortunately the cure for a lot of diseases is duel cultivation with a heavenly demon, and we all know who that demon is going to end up marrying, so it’s best to mess around with meta cultivation knowledge and prep for the worst case scenario, and honestly, they may as well solve some of the minor issues in the plot while their at it, so they invent some new cultivation techniques from some of those nifty svsss fanfictions they read while alive (I’m specifically thinking of this fic’s explanation of duel cultivation and cauldrons, but other weird cultivation methods could be used from other fanfics and xianxia books), so they can tidy up some things.

For instance, is it really necessary for Zhuzhi-lang to be stuck as a weird snake creature for nearly twenty years? Is it really needed for Yue Qingyuan to have crippled cultivation due to his sword?? Does Tianlang Jun have to be stuck under a mountain and then escape only to slowly die in a decomposing body??

They know they can’t change everything without the system interfering, but small nudges should help right? After all, they’re just a background NPC and Shen Yuan will show up eventually and everyone will fall in love with him and no one will even notice the NPC’s existence even if they had noticed something was up during their miraculous healing and salvation spree.

So they go about fixing those things. They catch Zhuzhi-lang unawares and feed him a sun and dew mushroom seed while he’s confused and do some funky cultivation shenanigans and pat him on the head cause he’s really such a cute weird snake creature and give him some vague warning about not trusting in laws and then fucks off to somewhere else.

I’m still caught up on Metagaming’s concept of duel cultivation transactions where you give and take—like taking something from someone’s cultivation, not just power, and returning something else—and keep getting stuck in a brainrot loop of the NPC taking some bloodmite powers from Zhuzhi-lang when they gave him a fully humanoid form that’s not reliant on Tianlang Jun. So my main idea for how the NPC plots to hold Yue Qingyuan in place is feeding him lesser bloodmites (not full ones because they only took a minor ability and can only hold someone for a few minutes before the bloodmites die), while they hold Yue Qingyuan still long enough to draw some ritual to heal his soul and separate it from Xuan Su. But honestly, I’m sure other ideas could apply here too. My Metagaming brainrot is just too strong right now to think of any.

And Tianlang Jun? Simple. Zhuzhi-lang’s got a humanoid form and can easily get the sun and dew mountain flowers for himself. They can’t stop the man from being imprisoned entirely. The system says no since Luo Binghe needs a dramatic entrance. So while they can’t stop the tragedy, they can put some pieces into play for an early escape, maybe a new plan to get him a better body once’s he’s back, and be a ferry for Su Xiyan’s body to revive her at some point as well.

It’s nice being an unnoticeable NPC, isn’t it? You can do whatever you want and no one’s going to know!!

Except. Someone does notice (as we all could have seen coming). And Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as fuck of this obnoxious Shidi because he notices everyone due to paranoid, and he’s even MORE suspicious of the mysterious character that healed Yue Qingyuan’s soul (and wasn’t that a doozy of a realization to have when Yue Qingyuan burst into his bamboo house one day freaking out because some disguised, powerful cultivator somehow did the impossible after ambushing him and holding him down as they healed his soul, and Shen Qingqiu is still reeling from learning that Yue Qingyuan’s SOUL was damaged trying to save Xiao Jiu and the stubborn asshole never told him because he apparently assumed Xiao Jiu knew there wasn’t a single universe where Qi ge didn’t try to come for him). And so yea, Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as all hell and starts snooping and plotting to catch the mysterious cultivator by combing through Cang Qiong because whoever it is has to have an in at the sect somewhere to know about Yue Qingyuan’s soul.

And that’s not even mentioning how suspicious Zhuzhi-lang and Tianlang Jun are now. They might not have realized what that strange cultivator did when they did it, or understood the cryptic in law mention, but they certainly have some suspicions now that Tianlang Jun was as imprisoned by in law like people, and Zhuzhi-lang kept his humanoid form just fine without Tianlang Jun, and now the hunt is ON for the mysterious benefactor, so they can repay the kindness and find out what the fuck is going on.

The NPC is, of course, oblivious to all of this going on and goes about their merry way thinking they’re being the Best ™ at being lowkey. They are SO good at being inconspicuous!! They deserve an award really!!

And then. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t qi deviate.

Shen Yuan doesn’t show up.

Oh shit, the NPC thinks to themselves as they begin to panic. They even check Shen Qingqiu out themselves to see if it’s Shen Yuan just being really good at acting. Maybe he was a better actor in the book than he gave himself credit for or something?? But no. That’s Shen Qingqiu all right. Shen Yuan is missing in action, and someone has to fix the plot of Cang Qiong is doomed.

Thus begins the NPC’s journey to try and unobtrusively fix PIDW’s child abuse problems (that they’re unaware are already fixed), save Liu Qingge from his qi deviation in Ling Xi Caves, make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t raze the sect to the ground someday and hopefully find him some sort of husband replacement to keep him under control when he does return, possibly dispose of the Huan Hua Palace Master at some point because he’s vile trash, and did I mention there are multiple man hunts for this poor oblivious dude currently on going??

And the most important question for them to solve? Where the fuck did Shen Yuan go??

Hmm I wonder where that man could have gone.

[yoyowrites]

binghe, after seeing how much sy adores sqh, decides to seduce shang qinghua. he figures it'd make his husband happy (his number one priority always) plus sqh is pretty on the eyes. ofc, first he talks to his right hand man, mbj.

mbj is okay with it. sqh is constantly on edge and sy is the only one (aside from himself) that allows him to relax.

with his permission, lbh starts with his wife acquiring tendencies. he starts slow, making extra portions for sqh to try. he starts asking for sqh's help in managing the affairs of the demon world and in general is much softer towards him. he's sure that before long sqh will fall for him

please note how neither of them spoke to sy or sqh so these two are very lost when lbh starts showing slight interest in sqh. sqh is convinced that lbh is trying to kill him. sy is sure that isn't it but he doesn't know exactly what his husband's deal is.

[silentheiss]

AU, where Luo Binghe meets Shen Yuan under different circumstances. Precisely, when one of his wives comes to him to ask for divorce.

Because she’s kind of in love with Shen Yuan, as it happens.

It goes like this:

Shen Yuan is having a great time being a transmigrator. He had quite a safe landing with being an NPC who’s never been mentioned in the book, so he’s not about to be killed by Luo Binghe anytime soon, and he’s doing great avoiding him.

Until he meets Ban Li. She’s so pretty and feisty she bound to become Luo Binghe’s wife one day, and Shen Yuan doesn’t want to be seen next to her when it happens. He’s not a suicidal idiot, despite what Ban Li says the first time they meet.

“-an utter degenerate! To face a Venomous Flying Spider in your own! What the hell were you thinking?” She yells, after cutting two back legs of the spider in one sharp swing of her sword, rendering beast to a withering, scaly pile. “At least you had a presence of mind to cut the wings first! Idiot!”

Who gives compliments like that? Shen Yuan sighs and positions himself more comfortably on the ground.

“As this one already said, everything was under control.”

“Ha!” Ban Li barks out, her eyes glowing green. Ah, must be a demoness, then. “Under what control? Be thankful for this one’s grace or your legs will be cut off!”

Shen Yuan laughs and offers Ban Li some sweets he always carries in his pouch. Things go smoothly after that — Ban Li accompanies him for next week, claiming she has a task of exterminating beasts in the area.

“Husband will want a report soon, but this one has time to spare.” Ban Li mentions one day.

“Ban Li is married?” Shen Yuan freezes. “Isn’t it inappropriate to- I mean for us, to. Uh.”

“This one was unaware Shen Yuan was courting.” Ban Li giggles, twirling a lock of her hair around her thin finger.

“I’m not!”

Ban Li laughs and leans closer to Shen Yuan, eyes glimmering.

“If you were,” She says, low and intimate. “I would agree. I would leave my absent husband and runaway with you.”

Ah. Now Shen Yuan sees how it is. Ban Li is not infatuated with him. She’s just-

“Ban Li, are you unhappy in your marriage?” He asks, heart breaking for this feisty, sweet demoness.

“Will Shen Yuan make it better?” Ban Li asks pitifully. Shen Yuan nods.

He will talk to that good-for-nothing husband of her and make him let Ban Li go. She’s promised to Luo Binghe, anyway, for plot purposes. He’ll just help smooth the process.

Several days later Ban Li takes Shen Yuan to a camp. It’s big, obviously expensive, and Ban Li looks almost shaky as they near the biggest, most impressive tent.

“Ban Li’s husband is… powerful.” Shen Yuan notes.

“He is.” Ban Li nods. “But this one doesn’t need his power.”

“Of course you don’t.” Shen Yuan nods. “We’ll make him see sense.”

Ban Li smiles at him, teeth sharp and eyes sharper.

“Shen Yuan is confident even in the face of the Emperor.”

Shen Yuan freezes.

“Ban Li.” He says, very quietly and very slowly. “Are you married to Luo Binghe?”

“Not for long!” Ban Li answers brightly.

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

“Ban Li.” Shen Yuan groans. “What the hell? Why on earth would you want to divorce Luo Binghe?”

“To stay at Shen Yuan’s side.” Ban Li says.

“Have you gone mad?” Shen Yuan demands. “Are you completely, utterly crazy? Who in their right mind would want to leave Luo Binghe to stay with me?!”

“Shen Yuan!” Ban Li whines. “You promised!”

“I didn’t know you were going to divorce the best person in the whole universe!”

Ban Li gasps at him.

“Do you want to marry Lord Luo?”

“No!” Shen Yuan says. “I’m a man, Ban Li.”

“So what?”

Shen Yuan feels like he’s going grey from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

“Ban Li, we’re losing a thread of the conversations here.” He says. “You cannot divorce Luo Binghe.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s stupid! Have you seen him? He’s the smartest, strongest, bravest man ever. He’s extremely good looking. He’s lived through hell and persisted. He’s amazing, Ban Li! You can’t leave him to stay with me, are you kidding? I thought you were smart!”

Ban Li pouts at him, folding her arms like a petulant child.

“If Shen Yuan is in love with Lord Husband-”

“I’m not!”

“No? Then why are you praising him so?”

“Because I have common sense?”

“I don’t want to get back to harem while Shen Yuan is risking his life fighting dangerous beasts!”

“Ban Li, I’m begging you.” Shen Yuan says. “You will regret your decision.”

“I will regret not seeing Shen Yuan anymore.”

“Nonsense!”

“I will run away.”

“Ban Li.”

“Try me. I will.”

Shen Yuan sighs, hiding his face in his hands. He’s so going to die today.

“Do you suppose your Lord Husband might need a librarian?”

Ban Li squeals and drags Shen Yuan into the tent.

Luo Binghe, who’s been silently listening to the whole conversation, hires him immediately. He doesn’t claim to know Ban Li well, but they definitely agree on one thing: Shen Yuan mustn’t ever leave.

[azu1as]

bingqiu au where sy is thrown into the unexpectedly female body of sqq. so when sy finds out, he gets carried away with the bright idea that the best way to avoid the terrible fate of the original goods is to take on the role of a mother-figure for luo binghe.

after all, in pidw there were only two roles for good-looking women like him (and really he didn't expect the original goods to look this good actually. no wonder airplane never posted official art for this man—woman?—the dudebros would definitely clamor to make sqq part of binghe's harem despite all the abuse and torment he—she??—put the man through) that won't end in getting his entire body ripped apart: a) fall in love with luo binghe and join his harem or b) be a mother-figure for binghe and tragically die.

his prospects were, at face value, not very promising. he wasn't female so he couldn't possibly fall in love with binghe so sy has no choice but to follow through with the latter.

the system is surprisingly silent when his mind races through the idea and doesn't raise any complaints about sy messing with the plot this way.

sy believes that, with all his stock knowledge of murim and fantasy worlds, he can avoid the fates that often befell these types of characters—often sacrificial deaths that lead to the protagonist's next power-up. he could gather all the artifacts for level-ups and give them to binghe at the right time!

another good way to lock in on the surviving mother-figure role is by promising to be present during the protagonist's wedding. so he does just that (not understanding the dazed look that enters his bun's face) and, to really make sure, also promises the same for all of binghe's wives (to ning yingying, luo mingyan, wife #124 a defected qiong ding disciple, etc.).

suddenly, everyone in cang qiong is abuzz over rumors of sqq wanting a wedding/looking for a husband/getting wedding fever/etc. the rumors have all jumbled up at this point into a massive mess at this point.

lqg and yqy are trying to figure out if sqq is trying to subtly shoot them a sign by approaching their sister/disciple.

meanwhile, sy thinks that he's totally got this and how on track he is with his plan when binghe accidentally slips and calls him, "mom" one time. unfortunately, all he did was stir up the hidden pseudo-oedipus complex in his poor bun.

[gaywarcriminals]

Rating Scum Villian characters based on how milfy they are:

Shen (Yuan) Qingqiu: an easy 10/10. You can’t tell your disciplesonwife that you wouldn’t abort him without becoming a milf.

Luo Binghe: and on the opposite end of the spectrum, 0/10! He’s just a little baby. He is 1,000 years younger than shizun and he likes it that way! He’s a wife, but an 18 y/o, husband’s-third-remarriage wife— he’s the same age as his husbands kids from the first wife. no milf vibes to be seen.

Liu Qingge: 1/10. Deep down he might have some parental traits, but as-is he is somewhere between weird (autistic) uncle and half-feral farm cat.

Liu Mingyan: 5/10. She’s still in her larva state of milfdom but someday she will be an excellent Mommy.

Ning Yingying: 3/10. Right now she’s baby and she likes it that way, but she has the bite of authority to her, and maybe in the far flung further she’ll spec into the Dommy Mommy skill tree.

Sha Hualing: 0/10. She’s baby, she’s a brat, she’s going to bite you and have a temper tantrum.

Shang Qinghua: 2/10. I have to give him a few points for being Binghe’s daddy, but we all know he’s a deadbeat dad who ran off with his new wife and left his kids alone with their step mom. The closest he gets to being nurturing is homoerotically saving his sexy OC, which is a Whole Different Thing.

Mobei-Jun: 5/10 for them tiddies.

Yue Qingyuan: 10/10. No I will not be explaining.

Shen Jiu: 9/10 because he’s abusive as only a mother can be 💖

Luo Bingge: -10/10. This man canonically has a fuck ton of kids and I don’t believe he knows any of their names. He is simply too Babygirl to parent 😔. SY come pick him up.

Qi Qingqi: 8/10 step on me mommy

Mu Qingfan: 6/10 I believe he can to unspeakable things to you while shushing you with a gentle smile

Tianlang-Jun: 7/10 for breedability, tits, and nephew raising, small point deduction for fumbling his actual son.

Su Xiyan: 0/10. She’s a Daddy, there’s a difference.

Zhuzhi-lang: -3/10 he is so tiny so small he is just a little guy just a snek

Madam Meiyin: 9/10 I fully believe all those succubi are her daughter-wives who she raises and teaches to hunt and comforts them when their prey gets away—

Six Balls: 6/6 six balls.

[coolshadowtwins]

Shen Yuan gets hit with a truth serum plot fic round up!

These are from the comments and reblogs of my previous post

Absolution by airplanelanding

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51587557#main

Summary: Luo Binghe stared back at him. There was something distant in his eyes, something Shen Qingqiu was too tired, too drained, to decipher. Then, Luo Binghe’s lips opened in a non-apology, a soft, murmured sentence—a quiet, “I need to know the truth.”

Shen Qingqiu frowned. He opened his mouth to question the damn-near imploring words, but he never got the chance.

He failed to notice something was in Luo Binghe’s hands until it was too late.

Or

Luo Binghe is determined to get answers this time, now that Shen Qingqiu can't run away. Even if he has to use a truth serum to do it.

aka A Water Prison Re-Write.

"open my lungs to let you in" by ghostybreads https://archiveofourown.org/works/37276570

Summary: Shen Qingqiu had a secret. So, naturally, it was only a matter of time before he was hit by a truth serum wife plot.

//

“How are you?”

“Horny. Kind of want Binghe to rail me, I guess. But it’s manageable.”

Liu Qingge’s hand on his forehead froze, and he was close enough that Shen Qingqiu could hear his breathing stop. He stared back expressionlessly, the mortification distantly crawling up the back of his neck. Honest One-Horned–

The frustrated scream that he usually vented in his head, came out straight from mouth.

“aaAAAAAHHHH GODDAMNIT AIRPLANE–”

no regret (i've been sorry all these years) by krmilia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39006066

Summary: There is no actual way the System hated him so much, right? Right?

Recently a lot of shitty things happened to Shen Qingqiu. By that he meant sowers in Jinlan city, return of his wayward disciple – who, uhm, prepared him surprise by leaving the Abyss two years early – and now… Well, now he was poisoned with a truth serum.

(Or, Bingqiu finally talk.)

speak your mind (not that much!) by nyoomerr https://archiveofourown.org/works/38953875

Summary: Before the investigation in Jinlan City, Shen Qingqiu is hit by a curse that forces him to speak his mind. Unfortunately, this means that the first thing he does when he sees Luo Binghe for the first time in three years is to tell Luo Binghe that he's grown up to be really quite pretty.

Luo Binghe, not sure what's going on but absolutely enjoying the ride, abandons all his plans immediately. He has new priorities now, including but not limited to:

- get his Shizun to call him 'pretty' again

- steal his Shizun away from his (probably in existence) harem

- ???

funny how you just break down (waiting on some sign) https://archiveofourown.org/works/36742384/chapters/91657246

Summary: Luo Binghe’s hand is half-raised, and Shen Qingqiu is going to die and this is the hand that will—

“[Notice: In appreciation of your continued use of our services, System 2.0 is offering {Valued Customer} a complimentary Bonus Plotline! Do you accept?]”

aka, What if Luo Binghe could read Shen Qingqiu’s mind during the Jinlan City arc?

What is Seen by CavetteDracones

Summary: …is not [always] the real truth.

Truth-compelling artifacts in the hands of an enemy to one side, SYSTEM-mandated silence on the other, and Shen Qingqiu caught between the two. Is it too late to go back to the Water Prison?

BONAS:

Moshang

If It can be destroyed by Tossawary https://archiveofourown.org/works/53124079

I’ll probably add more as they are either found by me or suggested!

[allpiesforourown]

every time you drop a jiuyuan post i get so excited because you get it.

i need shen jiu to be strange and obsessive about shen yuan at all times. bro can’t have a normal bone in his body when it comes to the only man in the world who is gonna coddle him but also hold him responsible in the most respectful loving way. and there’s just so many good flavors for jiuyuan… shizun! sj + disciple! sy or vice versa, both disciples, both shizuns, etc. all very scrumptious.

all this to say i really liked how you wrote them in the binghe self insert fic even if it wasn’t fully jiuyuan. your horny posting and aus and writing fill me with joy.

god bless.... thats exactly why i love jiuyuan because tbh shen yuan is one of the only people who doesnt have an extreme love or hate relationship with shen jiu and actually treats him like he'd treat any other person

Some people let sj do whatever he wanted with no consequences, which enabled him to be worse. whereas on the other end of the spectrum, those who didn't hesitate to curse him out/hurt him also pushed him into being more spiteful and angry. either way he only ended up more miserable. shen yuan is basically one of the only characters who goes "I understand shen jiu's actions, but they are still unforgivable" and i think it would drive sj insane. can you imagine

shen yuan: that was wrong of you to do

shen jiu: either kill me or shut up!!

shen yuan: ??? Why would I hurt you?? look, I understand why you did it, but that doesn't make it okay. I expect you to apologize, but i still care about you

shen jiu being treated like an actual person for the first time ever: h..huh..? I don't get it. how can you feel any way about me other than grovelling for my approval or wanting to abuse me

He would get hit with the "i'm disappointed, but I still believe in you and when you make it right, I will be here to tell you I'm proud of you." Shen Jiu would have no idea how to act. the mommy wife beam would ruin him.

also I like to believe shen jiu would act like he hates shen yuan but still be extremely defensive about him like

shen jiu: how dare he tell me what to do. apologize? me? who does he think he is, my mother?

someone: yeah he sucks-

shen jiu grabbing xiu ya: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.

[theimpurelily]

@grubus taadaa? lol

Sooo ya know that little gif I posted? This whole thing stemmed from me letting things get too out of hand while drawing up the dream scene that was only going to be that tiny little image....I have no regrets.

Just in case here's the rant

WHAT THE FUCK! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KISS MY HUSBAND? WHAT A SHITTY DREAM! MENG MO COULD DO BETTER. WAIT, THE ORIGINAL NING YINGYING DIDN'T DREAM OF-OF THAT RIGHT? I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. I THINK I WOULD REMEMBER? FUCK. IT'S BEEN SO MANY YEARS. DID SHE? AM I GASLIGHTING MYSELF? DOES THIS COUNT AS GASLIGHTING? REGARDLESS, WHY THE FUCK WOULD MENG MO SHOW ME THAT? WAS IT BECAUSE I WAS PUT IN A WIFE PLOT? SO HE JUST...JUST AUTOMATICALLY DID THAT? LIKE A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM OR SOMETHING? OMG! WAIT! DID BINGHE SEE THE WEDDING? FUCK! WAS THAT HIM THERE AND NOT JUST SOME FAKE? FUCK! WAIT! NO. HE WOULD STILL BE TALKING TO MENG MO... RIGHT? BESIDES, I’M A GUY! SO BINGHE WOULD NEVER WANT TO-TO...SYSTEM! DID BINGHE SEE THAT? WAS THAT HIM? SYSTEM! WHAT THE FUCK! WILL I BE PUT IN FUTURE WIFE PLOTS JUST BECAUSE I'M BINGHE'S BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD...

[megapocalypse]

AU where Shen Yuan transmigrated into emperor Shen Qingqiu/SJ and has to take over his male harem.

In the original story: Binghe's adopted mother and him were just servants of the palace and he was set to marry Shen Qingqiu so that his mother would be able to live in the palace and receive care for her illness, although Shen Qingqiu was a cruel emperor who seemed to punish Binghe for no good reason. Unfortunately after their marriage, Luo Binghe's mother passed away and Binghe had harbored a hatred towards Shen Jiu ever since.

It turns out Tianlang Jun was his father so technically Luo Binghe is the rightful heir to the throne, but Shen Jiu wanted to hide this fact. He suspected that Luo Binghe was Tianlang Jun's son because of his striking resemblance to Su Xiyan who died after giving birth.

Luo Binghe is able to kill Shen Jiu and inherit the throne, killing Shen Jiu's harem and his subordinates as well as creating new alliances and starting his own harem of comphet.

Anyway Shen Yuan figures that he's BIG FUCKED, so he plans to escape but the system gets to him first. Shen Jiu was really picky about his harem members at first only having Yue Qingyuan as a concubine and Binghe after the said arranged marriage, only acquiring more later on. So Shen Yuan transmigrated at that point in time and awakes to Yue Qingyuan by his bedside.

He thinks "there's no way I'm going to get a harem!!". And then the system tells him that user 002 MUST acquire a harem otherwise his account will get terminated. So Shen Yuan is like, okay!! So he won't marry Binghe, hug the protagonist's thighs, and he'll only STRICTLY have a male harem so the protagonist doesn't castrate him for getting with his future brides.

So Shen Qingqiu transmigrated after the death of Luo Binghe's mother and he immediately called off the marriage, unlike the original goods who only seemed to marry Binghe for sadistic reasons (seeing LBH suffer).

Shen Qingqiu makes sure that he instead makes Luo Binghe his personal servant and helps him work his way up to advisor, because Shen Qingqiu is not allowed to reveal Luo Binghe's true heritage he'll just help Binghe climb the ranks instead!

(Of course, Luo Binghe ends up falling for Shen Yuan anyway.)

One by one Shen Qingqiu starts acquiring a male harem, being choosey about his picks and making sure he has useful subordinates for the future. The only reason he's able to have a male-only harem is because he finds a magic plant that helps him conceive (not like it'd be of use though!)

He is able to arrange a marriage with Liu Qingge, because he is the brother of Luo Binghe's future wife Liu Mingyan! At first Liu Qingge was extremely reluctant because him and the original goods hated each other's guts.

Shen Yuan tries to, ahem, court him... but he's only doing it to get on good terms with Liu Qingge! He comes by Liu Manor every week to have tea with Liu Qingge, and is able to nurse him back to health after finding him marred by a beast. He tells Liu Qingge about his ideas of alliance and proposes a marriage they should marry for convenience. (Unbeknownst to him is that Liu Qingge's got it down bad for SY.)

He then tries to court Gongyi Xiao for an alliance with Huan Hua Palace, and their marriage takes place in the fall. He also marries Mu Qingfan to strengthen his political allies.

At some point he finds a beaten up poor man in the streets, he helps him to his palace and offers him a place to stay. This man says he has amnesia but he remembers being called Zhushi-lang, Shen Qingqiu realizes this is the nephew of the deceased Tianlang-Jun, and offers Zhushi-lang to marry him so that he could be on better terms with the family, and so that he doesn't get castrated later on!

Of course with every new husband Shen Qingqiu acquires, Luo Binghe is filled with burning jealousy. After Shen Qingqiu married Zhushi-lang (a nobody!) Luo Binghe cracks.

Binghe finds out that he's the biological child of Su Xiyan, and tries to enter into Huan Hua to gain a better reputation and better social standing so he can marry Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu realizes this is the part where the original goods Binghe found out his true heritage as Tianlang-Jun's son! And that this is when he plans to reveal all of this to Shen Qingqiu, essentially usurping him from the throne and having him castrated!!! Before this could happen though, Shen Qingqiu created an escape plan to fake his death.

Luo Binghe comes back to the "death" of Shen Qingqiu, and realizes that he is the next inheritance of the throne. Luo Binghe is devastated, and does everything in his power to bring Shen Qingqiu back.

That's all I got for now, other things to note:

- SQH is a transmigrator too and is Shen Qingqiu's subordinate

- This is a cultivation AU, but no demons

- I haven't quite figured out what Shen Jiu's relation is to Tianlang-Jun or how he's emperor, I'll think of that laaater