#I love putting Shen Yuan in Situations ™

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SVSSS BRAINWAVE JUST HIT! I HAD A THOUGHT ™

An average modern person transmitigates into SVSSS. Mind you, I specifically mean SVSSS and not PIDW. That’s right, our protagonist awakens to find themselves as a NPC in the world of Scum Villain Self Saving System. And they think to themselves upon waking up, “Oh, I’m an NPC in a xianxia novel with a happy ending! Cool!!” and goes about their life being a background nerd geeking out about plants, and monsters, and cultivation in general, and neat flying swords.

But this is a world of sex pollen and wife plots and unfortunately the cure for a lot of diseases is duel cultivation with a heavenly demon, and we all know who that demon is going to end up marrying, so it’s best to mess around with meta cultivation knowledge and prep for the worst case scenario, and honestly, they may as well solve some of the minor issues in the plot while their at it, so they invent some new cultivation techniques from some of those nifty svsss fanfictions they read while alive (I’m specifically thinking of this fic’s explanation of duel cultivation and cauldrons, but other weird cultivation methods could be used from other fanfics and xianxia books), so they can tidy up some things.

For instance, is it really necessary for Zhuzhi-lang to be stuck as a weird snake creature for nearly twenty years? Is it really needed for Yue Qingyuan to have crippled cultivation due to his sword?? Does Tianlang Jun have to be stuck under a mountain and then escape only to slowly die in a decomposing body??

They know they can’t change everything without the system interfering, but small nudges should help right? After all, they’re just a background NPC and Shen Yuan will show up eventually and everyone will fall in love with him and no one will even notice the NPC’s existence even if they had noticed something was up during their miraculous healing and salvation spree.

So they go about fixing those things. They catch Zhuzhi-lang unawares and feed him a sun and dew mushroom seed while he’s confused and do some funky cultivation shenanigans and pat him on the head cause he’s really such a cute weird snake creature and give him some vague warning about not trusting in laws and then fucks off to somewhere else.

I’m still caught up on Metagaming’s concept of duel cultivation transactions where you give and take—like taking something from someone’s cultivation, not just power, and returning something else—and keep getting stuck in a brainrot loop of the NPC taking some bloodmite powers from Zhuzhi-lang when they gave him a fully humanoid form that’s not reliant on Tianlang Jun. So my main idea for how the NPC plots to hold Yue Qingyuan in place is feeding him lesser bloodmites (not full ones because they only took a minor ability and can only hold someone for a few minutes before the bloodmites die), while they hold Yue Qingyuan still long enough to draw some ritual to heal his soul and separate it from Xuan Su. But honestly, I’m sure other ideas could apply here too. My Metagaming brainrot is just too strong right now to think of any.

And Tianlang Jun? Simple. Zhuzhi-lang’s got a humanoid form and can easily get the sun and dew mountain flowers for himself. They can’t stop the man from being imprisoned entirely. The system says no since Luo Binghe needs a dramatic entrance. So while they can’t stop the tragedy, they can put some pieces into play for an early escape, maybe a new plan to get him a better body once’s he’s back, and be a ferry for Su Xiyan’s body to revive her at some point as well.

It’s nice being an unnoticeable NPC, isn’t it? You can do whatever you want and no one’s going to know!!

Except. Someone does notice (as we all could have seen coming). And Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as fuck of this obnoxious Shidi because he notices everyone due to paranoid, and he’s even MORE suspicious of the mysterious character that healed Yue Qingyuan’s soul (and wasn’t that a doozy of a realization to have when Yue Qingyuan burst into his bamboo house one day freaking out because some disguised, powerful cultivator somehow did the impossible after ambushing him and holding him down as they healed his soul, and Shen Qingqiu is still reeling from learning that Yue Qingyuan’s SOUL was damaged trying to save Xiao Jiu and the stubborn asshole never told him because he apparently assumed Xiao Jiu knew there wasn’t a single universe where Qi ge didn’t try to come for him). And so yea, Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as all hell and starts snooping and plotting to catch the mysterious cultivator by combing through Cang Qiong because whoever it is has to have an in at the sect somewhere to know about Yue Qingyuan’s soul.

And that’s not even mentioning how suspicious Zhuzhi-lang and Tianlang Jun are now. They might not have realized what that strange cultivator did when they did it, or understood the cryptic in law mention, but they certainly have some suspicions now that Tianlang Jun was as imprisoned by in law like people, and Zhuzhi-lang kept his humanoid form just fine without Tianlang Jun, and now the hunt is ON for the mysterious benefactor, so they can repay the kindness and find out what the fuck is going on.

The NPC is, of course, oblivious to all of this going on and goes about their merry way thinking they’re being the Best ™ at being lowkey. They are SO good at being inconspicuous!! They deserve an award really!!

And then. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t qi deviate.

Shen Yuan doesn’t show up.

Oh shit, the NPC thinks to themselves as they begin to panic. They even check Shen Qingqiu out themselves to see if it’s Shen Yuan just being really good at acting. Maybe he was a better actor in the book than he gave himself credit for or something?? But no. That’s Shen Qingqiu all right. Shen Yuan is missing in action, and someone has to fix the plot of Cang Qiong is doomed.

Thus begins the NPC’s journey to try and unobtrusively fix PIDW’s child abuse problems (that they’re unaware are already fixed), save Liu Qingge from his qi deviation in Ling Xi Caves, make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t raze the sect to the ground someday and hopefully find him some sort of husband replacement to keep him under control when he does return, possibly dispose of the Huan Hua Palace Master at some point because he’s vile trash, and did I mention there are multiple man hunts for this poor oblivious dude currently on going??

And the most important question for them to solve? Where the fuck did Shen Yuan go??

Hmm I wonder where that man could have gone.

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

prowling the house like a unstimulated tiger in captivity thinking about bingge, how we doing

i can’t stop thinking about how he would react to finding out sy was in heat and suffering through it alone. it’s in my head rattling around and it wont stop lmao

like. one side of him is offended. what, his new omega would rather suffer than allow lbh to do his duty? i imagine atp sy has been officially folded into the harem, tho he hasn’t been moved to the wives’ wing yet. (sy assumes that lbh has just been so busy that he forgot this detail. whenever he mentions it to lbh, he gets a noncommittal nod in response or a ‘this lord will see to shen yuan’s comfort’ or whatever, but it must slip lbh’s mind rather quickly because sy is never moved)

so sy is officially a concubine™, tho whether they’ve consummated is up in the air rn, and he’s in heat. and he’d rather suffer his heat alone than allow his husband to perform his duty. and binghe’s p offended by that, okay. what’s so off putting about him that his newest wife would be so opposed to receiving the care he clearly needs? is he still pissed about the shen qingqiu incident?? lbh acknowledged the offense; he thought they’d moved past that.

another side of him is angry. it’s his right as husband to see his omega through his heat. whether they consummated or not, sy definitely hasn’t let lbh touch him like that since they wed. and lbh has wanted…he isn’t used to wanting anymore. no one denies him anything. but this new omega has denied him his body and his attention, and lbh is kind of starved for it. how dare this no-name omega kindle such yearning in his alpha, his emperor? bingge is entitled to his omegas’ bodies, all of them. sy isn’t special. (sy is so special, binghe wants him so badddddddd but sy keeps saying no and it’s not fair it’s not fair!!!)

the final side is just worried. his newest omega is so kindhearted, so bright and exuberant and lovely, and binghe knows he’s suffering. is he in pain? is he lonely? is he afraid? he must be. he’s an omega in heat alone; he must be.

all of this rolls into an agitated emperor luo who manages to hold out for one (1) day before going to his newest omega’s chambers to tend to him.

and usually, bingge is the dictionary definition of ‘aggressive knot-headed alpha.’ he’s the type to give into impulse when there’s a willing omega within half a mile of him. if one of his wives is in need, he’s quick to provide. but he’s never been faced with a wife in need but without desire. yes, shen yuan is in heat and suffering. yes, getting knotted would soothe him. but he has made it clear he doesn’t want lbh that way. he’s those attentions from his alpha time and time again.

lbh is kind of flummoxed by the situation. he knows how he’s supposed to care for an omega in heat, he knows sy doesn’t want to be cared for that way, but everything in him aches to take care of him somehow. the thought of leaving him entirely unattended sets his teeth on edge, makes his hands itch.

he’s caught dithering in the doorway to sy’s rooms making uncomfortable, confused alpha noises. but when sy acknowledges him and invites him into the nest, lbh is quick to comply.

surprisingly, they don’t have sex. sy grinds on him a little bit, gets himself off a couple of times while his face is buried in the crook of lbh’s neck. and lbh touches him plenty. strokes his hair, rubs his back, holds him close. he helps sy bathe, feeds him, reads to him from the books closest to his nest. he’s definitely not uninvolved while sy gets himself off, but his hands never wander anywhere they shouldn’t.

when it’s all over, sy feels a little humiliated. being in heat is so embarrassing. he said so many shameless things, made so many noises, touched lbh so much!!! he feels humiliated, but not once does he feel that lbh humiliated him. he might have been in pain for a lot of it, but it was also some of the best sleep he’s gotten in years, including his first life. he can’t deny that he felt kind of special, getting so much attention from the big bad saintly ruler of the realms, emperor luo binghe himself. he might be one flower in lbh’s vast garden, but he can’t deny that it felt good to be tended to so carefully.

he shies away from lbh a little less after that, and lbh is…pleased. gratified. fucking ecstatic. incredible how, to woo this wife of his, he didn’t need to open his pants once. it’s truly novel. he finds he doesn’t mind it.