#why would you do this to urself

[willowwtrees]

Hi to the 2 people that will see this

weird q but do you sometimes eat cold bland supermarket chicken fridge leftovers as a snack. is this a white person thing. is my dad a secretly a white person or is he just weird

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[moyazaika]

people don’t write it often, probably bc it’s a bit intense and can be triggering

but my favorite type of darling are the ones who are 100% seriously willing and able to kill themselves to escape their yan

i don’t care about the having the will to survive and escape i want to have the pettiness and spite to take away the only thing they truly love (me)

ooooh ur right nonniee!!!! ☝🏽☝🏽

iii i agree it can be quite triggering. think for a lot of people it also breaks the immersion; if ur reading yandere to feel like you matter to the extent where someone is so enamoured with you they’d condemn the law and their own morals, it defeats the purpose if darling just ,,, like,,,, kills themselves,,,,,,

but there’s also a sort of power in that!!

the sheer devastation it would entail for them, to lose the object of their affection by their own fucking hand. they promised to keep you safe, tucked away from the rest of the world and all its dangers; and yet, in a tragically ironic way—

you were the one thing they couldn’t protect you from.

wonder who gets the last laugh, then.

[dykedvonte]

I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?

What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.

[istherewifiinhell]

my computer is so mad at me.

[ID: Digital art work of a landscape framed from just behind a lens from someone's glasses, light glaring from the sun. The person raises a pale arm, with a rolled up dark sleeve, to block the light. The lens flair obscures much, but the sun is peaking from behind some mountains, and cupped under the meat of the persons palm. There's a grassy field with a distant building. Closer, a fence, and young trees. There text in magenta and cyan, the other colour as drop shadow. Do you Hear ME NOW? with "Me now" in cyan, and all caps. END]

thing about me is that i do love to look into the sun.

without text under cut, incase you didnt want your mental illness walk emotional moment immortalized in art to reference the killing kind by marianastrench. for some reason.

[ID: Textless version, you can see more foliage top left, and the black hoodie, bottom right. END]

[mushed-kid]

.

[blushft]

i spent too long on this

[toxooz]

How do u get so good at anatomy and faces??? 😭😭😭 I adore ur art style and I just wanted to know if you had like a certain method or anything or if u guys practise :0

i just draw a fuckload and observe the human body and how it moves at all times and use references and draw and draw and draw summore 👍 u may not now how tf muscles link together but with plenty of drawing and research it will eventually click into place and you'll Get It lmfao

[doctorwhoisadhd]

wait can someone make a manic pixie dream girl story where it turns out that she genuinely IS the post-transition future version of the main guy because that would be SUCH an insanely good lens to talk about self love through

[aropride]

this is literally one of my worst fears if i told a close friend deeply personal information abt my trauma and they started jacking off to it and i found out i would never open up to anyone again . and even not knowing the possibility would haunt me (and already does tee bee aych i wouldn't be upset abt this if it didn't). like sorry but sometimes i do think sometimes thoughts are bad and you should jack off about something else, probably

[mizumuu]

>Laughs Out Loud

I thought that piece was just about people focusing too hard on labelling Mizuki instead of letting them be themselves like they ask, not that it was transphobia ._ .

its ok to have ur own interpretation of that piece but its very clear to me that that wasnt ame's intention

[tsukasalover]

(credits to ssruis)

This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did

(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)

[2024skin]

Thinking about the gay Mormon kid I met in middle school and how all the other Mormons were convinced he was gay-faking and actually straight

[cidnangarlond]

I hope every cod fanfic ends with characters divorcing because that's where so many of those marriages end up

[bunkernine]

society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

[wandaxpietro]

Do you think Pietro prefers bush or no bush?

Cuz I know 616 Wanda wouldn't shave but Ultimates Wanda is full waxing twice a week. Does what he likes depend on what she normally does or on something else?

bush