#why is dating so fucking hard
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being single is starting to cause me like actual physical pain i hate this shit
#kye speaks#why is dating so fucking hard#and why is everyone im even remotely attracted to emotionally unavailable#and why is my type so goddamn specific#every new day that goes by i am more convinced that the issue is me and im just not that attractive or smthn#im going to start eating the drywall
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wip wednesday
tagged by @tizniz @daffi-990 💖
just a tiny lil snippet of the bucktommy fic before I post it probably later tonight (it's basically almost done, and then I just need a title) ngl this whole fic turned out hornier than I expected but buck is just a baby bi who has his first boyfriend, and I am not immune to how hot tommy is okay 🙈 (buck and I have literally the exact same taste in men and women istg 🤣) i kinda wanted to turn it into smut but I want it posted before the episode and it turned out too long already haha
prev snippet
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“When you’re ready.” Tommy says, his thumb tenderly brushing against where Buck’s birthmark is.
“Yeah.” Buck nods. “And when I am, I- Well, I bet you can teach me more stuff than just flying or Muay Thai.” he says half-jokingly, referencing the conversation right before their first kiss, when Buck didn’t even realize he was flirting until he thought back on it – which freaked him out, too, because how often did this happen before? Tommy just grins, all confident and charming, and leans in to press a soft but hungry kiss to Buck’s lips. Buck’s insides swirl and dance and make him feel all giddy and floaty.
“Oh, I can teach you. I’m gonna.” he whispers, lightly pulling at Buck’s lip. Buck almost asks him to stay. Almost tries to bring Tommy closer, and thrust his hips up to make their clothed dicks collide again, wanting to feel that pressure again. He doesn’t, though. Which requires an impressive amount of self-control, if he says so himself.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @your-catfish-friend @hippolotamus @bidisasterbuckdiaz
#wip wednesday#lowkey wanna write bucktommy smut ngl#maybe i will eventually haha#honestly the way im trying so hard not to make this one into smut but buck is fighting me lmao he really wants to fuck that man 🤣#also had an idea for eddie pov fic where he's pining and jealous and has no idea why he feels weird about bucktommy 🤔#(i wanted this fic to go there but it'd be too fucking long haha)#fic snippet#wikiangela writes#my writing#my wips#911 fic#911 abc#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy post-date fic#buck x tommy#bucktommy fic
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help someone ive never even talked to but have been following on twitter for a while made some posts about how they have a partner now and my first thought was 'i should kill myself' gfdlkjnfgdlj
what is fucking., WRONG with me
#jirai#jirai kei#jiraiblr#jiraiblogging#landmine#landmine kei#landmineblr#landmine type#landmineblogging#地雷#地雷系#pien#pien kei#pien type#pienblr#ぴえん#ぴえん系#parasocial attachment goes crazy hard#im in no state to date anyway since i broke up with my ex really recently and im not over that so idk even know why im reacting so strongly#im just fucked up ig but thats not new#me @ myself: bitch you couldnt even pull them anyway wtf are you on?#aauauaua#sickness.php#noa.txt
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once again, i think it is so very fucking strange to include a route/path in an INTERACTIVE book and the maximum exploration of it is '????? welp i don't know! ???' in a scooby doo voice.
there is no reason why a resistant detective not be allowed options as to WHY they're resistant to start a relationship with N or F (and I say this as a huge F-fan who agrees when the narrative is like 'why am I doing this?' yes why are you resisting the hot adorable one??). If this journey is given, then I - as the player - should be allowed to explore it as fully as the game/writer's skills allow.
And I know this isn't as far the game/writer's skills allow, because we are granted variations on how to treat a past with Bobby and a future with Douglas, we can decide on our relationship with the Captain and the Mayor - side characters to varying degrees - but we CAN'T choose why the detective might be hesitant to start something as important as a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP with MAIN CHARACTERS???
make it make sense to me.
please. i beg.
#twc critical#n sewell#nate x detective#twc#twc book 4#twc spoilers#grapecase plays book 4 demo#like we get different options over dead ad but get hrm why why dont i know my own feelings re: starting on a relationship BUT i certainly#understand my feelings in how nice they make me feel/how great they are#why include this option if it is gonna be so half-assed?#and if youre gonna half ass it at least half ass it WELL#like something vague like 'my past makes it hard' or 'i just dont want to'#there are so many ig reasons why the detective might not want to start a relationship#they still have hesitence re: supernatural either via fear or the immortality question#2. rook died and they dont wanna do that to f/n 3. they dated bobby and that fucked them up#3. they dont think wayhaven is their future and the team seems attached to the town#like???#it feels so weird for characters who are logical or stubborn or people focused to be this clueless too#or heck even emotiional detectives -- what about self awareness?#and i have no problem for the detective being obtuse to feelings - it is mishka's favroite method - but it should be an option#actually no. the thing isnt that theyre obtuse to feelings it's that theyre obtuse to their own ... reasoning ... the own rational behind t#eir actions. and its like BITCH know why YOU DO THINGS!#again not everyone is. but its still weird it isnt a CHOICE
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and if i said they’re my ot3 then what
#them in that damn story talking like they’re both dating her and in the end its suddenly competitive like#why can’t this be like a 3 way thing???#alter would fucking hate it though 💀💀💀#he tolerates keith because thats his homie licht is a whole other guy 💀#keith howell#licht klien#ikepri emma#ikepri#but they are so cute lciht is like a new man- Him and yves shocked me in kther routes after doing keiths route like 5 times straight#as you can tell ive been thinking hard about this. I have lots to say
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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the pics of morgan and joel are from travis sanheim's wedding this weekend!
^^^me experiencing the one-two knockout punch of “oh they WERE each other’s wedding date” followed by the realization that sanny finally got married 🥹😭 cheers indeed!!!
#have i ever told you all how i have the best anons in the world because i do. you’re all so nice to me and whenever i just. yell things#you come here and answer my questions and i love you for that thank you anon. i love you. 💕💕💕#also yes i KNOW i said finally and sanny’s like what twenty five however that is a) an old bachelor by most hockey standards b) he and alex#are high school sweethearts/been together forever and are disgustingly in love thank you they’ve been married in spirit if not reality#for years now. this has no bearing on my actual personal opinions on when you should or if you should be married or how long it should take#anyway. truly deeply madly obsessed with the joel/morgan of it all now because did they have to conform to a blue suit theme and if so#joelle why were u not wearing a belt. were all the flyers in blue suit uniform because that’s what our beautiful sensible sanny could trust#them to do &if so which ones were at the wedding i WILL be investigating post-haste. i have to update my tags 1st bc i’m the future me rn#who is currently dealing with them potentially being matching wedding dates & dunking my head in tinfoil to say morgan broke up with his gf#and ohhhhh if i don’t have a five weddings fic floating around SOMEWHERE for them. god knows i have the comment marriage fic AND fantastic!#liv in the replies#travis sanheim#<- in spirit i guess because it’s about his wedding so i felt like he should be included#philadelphia flyers#joel farabee#morgan frost#<- for my own sorting purposes#ANYWAY CONGRATS SANNY HAPPY MARRIAGE WE <3 U (do have to mention that i laugh so hard every time about that post calling him a rpf void i-)#also also bc i keep adding p.s. to this i was very pleased with myself to have flat fuck tk in the reply so that the travii were present 🫶
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another classic case of i can remember the episode premise but cannot for the life of me place what show its from how long before i work it out this time
#ww2 vet hit with deaging(?) beam accidently#spends the day as a young man on a date with pink#why is this so hard what fucking show was it
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date outfit kitakata save me......... save me....
#kuwana jin#jin kuwana#lost judgment#judgment#jichanart#fic extras#fic:senseific#was itching to work on something related to kitakata on his date with yagami so. here#have actually drawn this outfit before but i don't like that art much anymore so. lol. new one!#the wrist cast is a new addition though cause i think it would be funny#it's not locked in yet BUT fingers crossed i can include it (something something plot)#anyhow other notes about this:#clean shaven bc it's kitakata as opposed to kuwana#jewellry bc you can tell he's really trying here#necklace to draw the eye to the chest#and earrings just cause i think he likes em. plus it's a fun extra detail for yagami to notice#kitakata doesn't get to wear em at his job so it's fun to have that little extra edge you know#i like to think his shirt would be fitted to better show off his arms and chest. he's been working hard on em after all#he can wear his canon boots cause they're practical. i also think he's wearing some cologne#if not for the cast he'd be wearing a decent looking watch too. again. kitakata is REALLY TRYING#and is generally a little more put together than kuwana is#anyway (chews my own arm) i can't write their date until i work more on the actual fucking PLOT#but i reaaaaaaally wanna make this happen so 💔#anyway. yagami shows up to their date wearing what he always wears. can we all make fun of him#because he thinks it's practical and he looks good (which is why he wears it all the time). kitakata is not impressed#ANYWAY#live laugh love senseific
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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Damn.... Legolas' family tree is so complex, you know.... I LOVE how Tolkien truly took his time writing more about Mirkwood's royal family.... So much depth in this....
Like... Just look at all the names... It is so easy to get lost in it, you see.... You truly cannot look at it for long or then the amount of names here might as well give you a headache....
#istfg tolkien#he wrote so so much about the noldors#why couldnt he give legolas and his lineage a single thought#like... it wouldn't kill him you know#it wouldn't fucking kill him to tell us. idk. Who Legolas Mother Is. you know....b#I don't think I'd be that hard... or then to just... give us his birth date or some shit#like come on man...#please.....#legolas#thranduil#oropher
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#absolutely do not want to argue because i get where the post is coming from with but im gonna give some thots#re: dennis autism!!!! ok!!!!!#ive talked about it before but there is WAY more to him being autistic than just the buzzer noises. when i first watched that i was like#is THIS really why people hc him as autistic. :/ and i get it! i do! i think he has misophonia inherited from glenn personally#its actually why i captioned the noise sensitive den gifsets as that rather than just. autism.#but personally i see his scripted social interactions and i go. yeah. me. me fuckin too.#and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me#i have uh. basically the same triggers? very similar triggers at least#i think dennis' neurodivergency presents itself differently because of his upbringing and thats why a lot of ppl go ???? when you say.#'yea i think den's autistic actually'#and like i said i was absolutely like. what the hell are people talking about. he's not autistic#but uh. on rewatches? hm.#dennis quite literally masks almost 24/7#charlie has no qualms about being perceived as like. weird. but dennis masks SO hard. SSSSSSOOOOO hard#i once saw a post like. charlie has boy autism and dennis has girl autism which honestly fucking hate that but its... kiiiind of true#ASD presents itself differently in adults depending on early social conditioning#mac fights gay marriage. group dates. new wheels. dee day. celebrity booze. all the big ones. all the hits.#look how he acts when he goes off script and is forced to speak off the cuff#the way glenn describes him as being very emotional but unable to adequately express his emotions too like. yeah. same.#theres so much more than the noise sensitivity#i could go on and on about how many fucking boxes he ticks but i honestly hate that shit. i know how autism works and that bitch is autisti#im going to refrain from commenting on the reasons why i feel charlie is more acceptably hced as autistic vs dennis because mmmmm but#dennis being 'hypersexual' (not about the sex. at all) and socially adept (has scripts/systems. charlie is more emotionally intelligent)#smells a lil stinky. smells a little bit like infantilization on charlie's part.#ada speaks#ok ill spare you guys. someday ill write a proper meta on this. ive talked about it before but.
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I wish I knew how to draw and do cool animatic and stuff like that. I would desperately want to do an animatic series with the Our Town ponies to bring some more attention to them
#I desperately need content of them they are so underrated and do nothing in the show#I could go on a whole rant on why they should've gotten more focus instead of starlight fucking glimmer#but I simply shall not#well actually i remember sugar belle does stuff#as big mac's gf#i like big mac though he's probably one of my faves of the whole show#and i remember we see night glider and party favor on a date i'm pretty sure#good for them#but there's one thing#where the fuck is double diamond#he was my favorite out of them :(#we saw him at big mac and sugar belle's wedding but that's it#where did he go?????#did he even get a cameo in hard to say anything#mlp#mlp friendship is magic#mlp g4#mlp fim#my little pony generation 4#my little pony gen 4#my little pony fim#my little pony friendship is magic#my little pony#my little pony g4
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larry's tag about kurokara looking back on going around the summer festival together and realizing it was basically a date is making me chuckle bc it wouldn't be the only instance of kuroba inviting karamatsu out on what's essentially a date before they're a couple ( not even during that summer. )
#after the yokohama beach trip shenanigans they're casually like#'' hey actually i'm going to this english rose garden before heading back to tokyo tomorrow do you wanna come? ->#you can stay the night at my parent's i'm sure they wouldn't mind & i'm sure ochoujii would love to see you. :) ''#and then they wonder why the rest of their family repeatedly questions if they're dating that night#LIKE. BUD. COME ON.#they get a partial free pass bc the autism + demi combo makes realizing romantic feelings hard to notice in the moment#<- speaking from experience#but also. god damn.#later on when they tell erika about how they have feelings for kara she goes '' eXCUSE ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY??? ''#the matsuno side of this is very funny too bc they all immediately recognize it as a date and tell kara to fuck off when he accepts to go#like yeah whatever go frolic through the gardens together TRAITOR we hope you poke your finger on a thorn & sleep for a thousand years#kara realizes it could be a date too but he's kinda accepted that kuro doesn't mean anything romantic by it#he loves hanging out with them and he does love roses too so why would he refuse?#his ass would 100% be running through 500 different romantic daydreams between them the entire time tho#kurokara makes me sick i can't sTAND THEM 😭 /pos#hopefully this makes sense bc i'm about to pass out#ship : kurokara#mj rambles
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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oh nooooo i stopped by v*romons to see my other friends: books. And as i was browsing this young dad and his two toddlers were walking down an aisle, and the dad tripped over an ankle high sign because he was distracted staring at me 🤣 and the kids started laughing so dang hard. i felt a little bad. The guy almost did a faceplant, barely caught himself on the low display in time.
#Jrnlsht#This is my demographic now this is why dating over 35 is so hard#Everybody already has their family#Instead i get 29 year old fuck boys
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