#why does my gay cat play fetch

[eraserheadbabydriver]

the creatureeeee

[henswilsons]

to love you, for god’s sake

buck/eddie | 4k+ | ao3

Mr LAFD Updates Man meets a popstar. aka bad s6 spec. aka im so sorry.

“Wait, the Palladium?” is the first thing Buck says when Bobby gets off the radio. “As in, the Hollywood Palladium?”

“I can imagine so,” Bobby says, as he starts the firetruck engine. They hadn’t even gotten back to the station before they’d been radioed for an extraction in the local area; next to Eddie, Chimney is frantically guzzling the coffee Ravi had fetched for them only seconds before. “Why, are you familiar with it?”

“I wonder,” Buck starts, and then nothing else, ears flaming red. Eddie touches their knees together. It’s mostly grounding, the way he always does whenever Buck gets cagey, but also—he knows that look.

That’s the I think we’re about to bump into an ex type look.

Eddie normally tries to pretend that Mr LAFD Updates Man is one extensive bad dream, but when he’s dating the most good-looking man in America, who has also probably hooked up with half of millennial Los Angeles, sometimes the fact he’s a semi-famous public figure comes in handy. Namely in that he watched a TED Talk about powerposing and is not necessarily above evoking the Wonderwoman stance at Buck’s shoulder if someone ever gets a little too familiar.

(Besides. He did not suffer through multiple shirtless of pictures of himself being memorialised on what Ravi has explained to him is gay Twitter for people to think his boyfriend is on the market.)

“You wonder?” he prompts mildly.

He’s expecting Buck to maybe shyly duck his head, admit that he once dated a concession girl who worked at the Hollywood Palladium, or maybe even that he hooked up with a roadie in one of the bathrooms there—but then fucking Ravi looks up sharply, too. “Did you say Hollywood Palladium?” he says.

Bobby frowns in the rearview. “Is there something I’m missing here?”

“No,” Buck and Ravi say, at the same time. Then they both wildly hold each other’s gazes like they’re daring the other to say anything.

“Wait,” Lucy says. “Isn’t that country guy doing a show there tonight?”

“Country guy?” Chimney says.

“Yeah, you know him. What’s his name—Gary something? He’s the one with the…” She does an ambiguous gesture, snapping her fingers to remember. “Glitter. And cowboy hat. Right?”

The image vaguely rings a bell in Eddie’s head. To Buck, he says, “Don’t you listen to a singer who wears glitter and cowboy hats?”

Buck’s face has steadily gone redder and redder and he’s stoutly avoiding eye contact, and oh, yeah, he so does, and yeah, this is so him. “…No.”

Eddie is delighted. “Yeah, you do. He sings that one song about moonlight, right, that you always play when you’re cooking dinner?” Cowboys Don’t Dance, is what it is. Eddie will never forget it—it’s the song they had their first kiss to, over a half-greased muffin tin and an attempt at bran cupcakes. “What’s it called again… Dancing Cowboys?”

“Oh, fuck you,” Buck says, cheeks scarlet. “You know what it’s called.”

“You’re right,” Eddie says, to be an asshole, snapping his fingers. “Cowboys Do Dance.”

“Cowboys Don’t Dance,” Ravi blurts, and then claps his hands over his mouth. Lucy looks like the cat who just got the cream. Chimney is glancing between everyone like he’s watching a ping-pong match and grinning maniacally. “It’s called Cowboys Don’t Dance and it’s by Gerald Rhinestone and he’s literally my favourite singer of all time and he’s got a show at the Palladium tonight.”

Everyone stares at him. Buck points a shaking finger at him. “You’re a Rhinestone?”

“Of course I’m a Rhinestone,” Ravi snaps. “I have a Twitter account.”

“His name is Gerald Rhinestone?” Chimney says. He looks like he’s trying not to burst into laughter. “Is that a stage name?”

“Yes,” Buck says, “obviously. His real name is Dom Simmons.”

Eddie is so, so fucking charmed. “Obviously.”

“Don’t even start with me,” Buck says to him. “I know you know what that song was called.”

“Now, I’m not insinuating anything,” Chimney says, “but all I am saying is that that name sounds like it belongs to a gay pornstar.”

“Are we about to meet Gerald Rhinestone?” Ravi says, panicked. “Cap, did they say anything?”

Bobby’s voice is bubbling with laughter when he says, “No, dispatch did not let me know if there was a popstar there as well.”

“He’s not a popstar,” Buck says, “he’s a country star.”

“There’s a difference,” Ravi says.

“Man,” Lucy says. “I did not think the inside of his firetruck could possibly get any gayer after Buck and Eddie got together. And yet here are.”

Ravi maturely sticks his tongue out at her, and she sticks hers out in return. Hen says, “Oh, Karen loves Gerald Rhinestone. She always plays his music around the house when she’s cleaning.”

“What does she listen to?” Buck says.

“Her favourite is that one about horses. What’s it called—Ride?”

“Ride Until We Die,” Buck says. To Ravi, he mouths, basic, and Ravi nods gravely. Hen catches him and kicks him. “Sorry, but it is!”

Before they can start squabbling, the truck comes to a stop. “Okay, we’re here,” Bobby says, and then, before any of them can get out, he turns around in his seat, hooking an arm over the back of it, and looks at Buck and Ravi. “If—and I mean if—your Gary Rhinestone—”

“Gerald,” Ravi mumbles.

“—is in there, I want you to remember that we’re professionals and we have a job to do. I understand being starstruck—goodness knows when I met Scott Hamilton I blacked out—but we’re going into an active medical scene here, and I need you to keep your heads on. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Cap,” Buck and Ravi say. Eddie squeezes Buck’s knee.

“Who’s Scott Hamilton?” Chimney says.

Bobby frowns at him. “You don’t know Scott Hamilton?” Chimney shrugs. Bobby looks at everyone in the truck, and is greeted by blank faces. “Scott Hamilton? He won the Olympic gold in the 1984 Winter Olympics?”

There is a pause. “Oh, that Scott Hamilton,” Chimney says, feebly. Bobby just huffs a laugh and climbs out the truck.

Everyone follows suit, Hen and Ravi still hotly debating at how many songs and which ones they are can someone claim themselves a fan, but Eddie lingers to the back, with Buck, whose feet slow on the sidewalk outside the truck as he gapes at the big neon GERALD RHINESTONE sign across the front of the venue. He looks completely awestruck, and even though they’re at work, Eddie can’t help but nudge their hips together, just a little, coming to a stop beside him: Bobby’s at the front, anyway.

“You doing okay?” he teases, softly.

“I think I’m about to die,” Buck says. “God, Eddie, what if he’s there? What if I meet Gerald Rhinestone?”

“It’s two in the afternoon, sweetheart,” Eddie says. “You really think he’ll be there this early?”

“I don’t know! Maybe!” Buck presses a grieved hand to his forehead. It’s kinda hysterical how nervous he looks. If Eddie were any less secure in their relationship, he might have started getting jealous. “How’s my hair?”

“It looks good,” Eddie says; means it, because of course it does, because it’s Buck, who’s beautiful even when it’s curling and hanging over his forehead, but who also takes care to gel and comb it into place every morning. Buck smiles, a little surprised, anyway.

“Yeah?” he says.

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Of course. You always look good.”

Buck’s smile comes a little softer. “You knew the name of the song, didn’t you? In the truck?”

“I’m not going to forget something like that.” He means that, too, because it’s not every day you kiss the love of your goddamn life for the first time, yanking open the front door, still in his dispatch uniform, Buck having beat him home by twenty minutes and stress-baking muffins for Christopher’s bake sale that Friday, barely getting a “hey” out before Eddie had strode across the kitchen, taken his face in his hands, and kissed him fucking silly—but also because the song is called Cowboys Can’t Dance. That’s the name of the song they had their first kiss to. Cowboys Can’t Dance.

It could have been worse, is how he comforts himself. He knows Buck unironically has Wonderwall on that playlist.

“Buckley! Diaz!” Bobby calls, halfway up the steps to the entrance. “You coming?”

“You’re a romantic piece of shit sometimes, Diaz,” Buck says, but he gets in an ass-pinch before he’s dancing up the steps, laughing delightedly as Eddie chases him up. “Hey, this is workplace harassment!”

It appears he’s mostly forgotten about Gerald Rhinestone, but it doesn’t last long. Someone harried greets them in the foyer, leading them into the mostly-empty auditorium, which is predominantly populated by venue and tour staff carting around wires and roadcases. “He must have completely misjudged the end of the stage,” the woman is explaining as she hurries down the aisle, the 118 close at her heels. “They were just rehearsing for the set tonight and then he fell into the orchestra pit. He’s okay, I think, he’s talking and awake and lucid, but I think he’s done something to his ankle.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Bobby says. “We’ll take it from here.”

She nods gratefully, clasping her hands into a worried knot beneath her chin, and steps back, allowing them to all peer over the edge of the orchestra pit.

To Eddie, it just looks like a regular guy on the floor, surrounded by people all still carrying instruments, but from beside him Buck lets out a squeak and Ravi mumbles something that sounds like a prayer for help. Eddie glances at them, but then Bobby is calling down, “LAFD, sir, just hold on for us a little longer,” and is herding them all down staircase on the side of the pit to enter in.

“How are you boys doing?” Hen teases as they descend.

“I think I’m about to die,” Ravi says faintly.

“I heard you praying,” Chimney says. “I didn’t know you were religious.”

“I was blaspheming and hoping God would just kill me.”

Eddie hides a smile. “There’s something kinda wrong with both of you.”

“Okay, funny, Mr Breakdown,” Ravi snits, and Eddie says, mostly on instinct, “LAFD Updates Man, actually.”

Ravi glowers. “I liked you better when you were straight.”

Buck lets out a hysterical giggle.

Eddie’s eyes adjust when they get to the bottom of the stairs. He’s never been one for live theatre—why see people from far away onstage when you could just watch a movie?—but he had definitely misjudged how big orchestra pits are. In his head, they’d always been huge, but this one is small, and crowded—both enough so that there’s really nowhere for Buck to escape to, though Eddie can tell he wants to as they all shoulder their way through what presumably is the band, still holding their instruments and looking worried.

And then—

“I told y’all,” says the man, still on the ground. He looks relatively okay, aside from his ankle, which is twisted at a nasty angle and beginning to go purple. Someone’s elevated it on a chair, and there’s a person behind him helping him sit upright. “You didn’t need to call 911.”

“Were you expecting to play the set with a snapped ankle, Dom?” a lady holding a banjo says to him.

“Well, no, but we could have just driven me. I’m so sorry about the inconvenience,” the man adds to Bobby, at the front of the group, and though he’s not talking to him directly Buck goes a pretty pink all over. “Thank y’all for coming all this way.”

“Not a problem,” Bobby says. “We were in the area.” He nods behind him. “Hen, Chim, can you check his ankle? Eddie, check for any head injuries.

“Cap, yes, Cap,” Chimney says, because he likes to think he’s funny, and then they’re swanning over, Hen and Chimney settling beside his elevated ankle and Eddie crouching next to him, pulling out his penlight.

“How’s your head, sir?” he says. The man turns to look at him, and—yeah, okay, Eddie gets the hype now. He’s more into the stocky guys himself, hence Buck, who is built like a barn, but he can’t deny that this is a beautiful man in front of him, all green eyes and dark hair. He can imagine this dude probably makes a killing on dating apps, especially if he looks at people the way he’s looking at Eddie. Damn, Eddie can’t imagine what he’d be like if he actually turned it on.

“Oh, all good,” the man says. He does a once-over of Eddie, probably verifying that he’s LAFD. “I didn’t hit it when I fell.”

His banjo player sighs somewhere above them. “Yeah, because you landed feet-first like an idiot and crumpled like a Coke can.”

“I’m just going to check your pupils, to be safe,” Eddie says, and flashes the penlight at the man’s eyes. (Or—he’s not really the man, considering Eddie knows who he is, but what does he call him? Gerald Rhinestone? Dom? Just Gerald? He feels as though Gerald Rhinestone must be in all capitals whenever he says it in his head.) The man’s eyes look more than fine, though his pupils are a little dilated. Eddie frowns, putting the penlight down. Maybe it’s just a little dark in here. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Gerald,” the man says, which at least saves Eddie the panic of deciding what to call him in his head. He holds out his hand, even though Eddie hadn’t been introducing himself. “And yours?”

“Uh,” Eddie says. “I’m Eddie.”

He shakes his hand. Gerald holds on for a little long. There is a choking noise behind them.

“Say,” Gerald says, finally. “You look kinda familiar.”

“Just one of those faces, I guess,” Eddie says. “Can you tell me the date?”

Gerald ignores him, squinting. It’s not until his friend holding him up sucks in a breath and says, “Holy shit, are you that Twitter guy?” that he seems to land on where he recognises him from.

And of course, it’s Twitter. It’s always fucking Twitter.

“Yes,” Eddie says, a little resigned. Whichever influencer slid into his DMs to reassure him that the internet’s memory was fleeting and he’d be back to his normal life in a manner of weeks was talking from their ass, because it’s been nearly a year and he’s still getting this sort of shit. (He supposes it doesn’t help that Josh is apparently still milking his likeness all over Twitter for dispatch interaction. Not that he knows this, because he deleted Twitter.) “Can you tell me the date, Gerald?”

“November twelfth,” Gerald says, and his eyes do another deliberate drag down Eddie’s body. It’s not until what definitely sounds like Buck from behind him makes a wheezing sound that Eddie realises, with a sudden start, that he thinks he might be getting hit on. “You’re impressive up close, Mr LAFD Updates.”

Eddie cannot be getting hit on by the man who wrote the song he had his first kiss with Buck with. This can’t really be happening.

“You should see him from far away,” Chimney jokes, from still beside his ankle. “Gets so much more handsome when you can’t see his face properly.”

Eddie is a professional, so he doesn’t flip him off, but then Gerald says, “Mm, I don’t know about that,” and he nearly chokes.

“Uh,” he says.

Thankfully, Bobby, his guardian angel, unknowingly descends on them, placing a hand on his shoulder. “How’s our friend, Eddie?” he says.

Eddie bluescreens for a second longer, Gerald still smirking at him, before he remembers, oh, yeah, technically in a workplace, and snaps back into action. “Doesn’t look like he obtained any head injuries—I think it may just be the ankle that got injured.”

“Good,” Bobby says. To Gerald, he says, “Our paramedics are just splinting your ankle so we can lift you onto a stretcher—you’ll be out of here in no time, sir.”

“Thank you,” Gerald says, though this is more of a leer to Eddie than anything.

To Eddie’s surprise, Bobby doesn’t move away at this; he stays, hand still on Eddie’s shoulder, as if deliberating something. Then finally, he leans forward a little furtively. “I have two firefighters behind me who are big fans,” he says, lowly. “Do you mind terribly if they come say hello? I think they’re both jumping out of their skin.”

Gerald laughs. “Of course. I love meeting fans.” He winks at Eddie, who feels himself traitorously blush a little. (Look, he can’t help it, okay? Gerald Rhinestone is a handsome dude.)

Bobby hasn’t even properly straightened before Buck and Ravi are making beelines, Lucy swaggering behind them, snapping at her gum with her arms folded. Eddie feels Buck’s hand dust across his shoulder, and he reaches up to smooth a hand over it before it then basically pushes him out the way and Buck settles in next to him, eyes huge and wide. “Hi, Mr Rhinestone,” he squeaks. “I’m a huge fan.”

He holds out his hand. Gerald laughs warmly and shakes it. “Nice to meet you,” he says. “What’s your name?”

Buck evidently did not anticipate getting this far, because he just kind of gapes. Eddie magnanimously steps in.

“This is Buck,” he says, and Gerald’s smile gets a little smirkier. “And that’s Ravi.”

“Hi,” Ravi manages, still stood. “I really like your vest.”

Gerald looks down at himself like he’d forgotten what he was wearing. For the first time, Eddie properly registers the pink sparkly waistcoat, unbuttoned to show off a lot of his tanned hairless chest. “Oh, thank you,” he says. “I like your… gear.”

Ravi giggles. (Fucking giggles!) Buck just keeps kinda gaping.

“I was just getting acquainted with your coworker here,” Gerald continues, and oh no. “He was just telling me about his stint as Mr LAFD Updates Man.”

“Oh, I wasn’t,” Eddie says, but it falls on deaf ears.

“I have to say, I’m a big fan,” Gerald says. “I turned on post notifications and everything.”

“Wow,” Ravi says, dreamily.

“That’s nice,” says Eddie.

“And when I saw him today,” Gerald continues, “I almost couldn’t believe it. It’s not every day you meet a celebrity.”

Buck and Ravi are nodding so intently Eddie’s a little afraid for their necks. “Sure isn’t,” Buck agrees, as Ravi says solemnly, “So true.”

Eddie laughs nervously. “Ah, well. I wouldn’t call myself a celebrity.”

“Mm,” Gerald says, still smirking. “Say, Mr LAFD Updates Man, I don’t suppose I could get a photo?”

Eddie—blinks. “Of me?”

“Well, sure,” Gerald agrees easily, “but I was hoping with you.”

Eddie glances at Buck. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, but it’s certainly not for Buck to be looking at him like he’s stupid. “It’s rude to keep someone waiting, Eddie,” he says.

And—okay. Well, then. “Uh, sure,” Eddie says, thrown. He’s had to get good at selfies, unfortunately, considering after the first one was posted online he has been exponentially accosted with more people asking for them, and due to the nature of his job this wouldn’t be the first that’s been taken on a medical scene—his personal favourite was with the girl who had accidentally been shot in the leg with a crossbow—but it is the first that he can see, in his peripheral, Buck and Ravi desperately trying to get in the frame of in the background. Gerald leans a little too close as he takes the picture—Buck’s eyebrow and birthmark makes it in, as does the flick of Ravi’s hair—and then, to Eddie’s surprise, passes the phone to him.

“To put your number in,” he says.

Eddie gapes at him, and then turns to frown at Buck. Buck prods, “Eddie, give the man your number.”

“Oh my God,” Eddie says, but does as he’s told. He doesn’t put a name, which maybe was a bad idea, because Gerald does so himself when he passes it back, as Mr LAFD Updates Man and a—Christ alive—eggplant emoji—yeah, after dating Buck for a year Eddie now knows what that means.

“I’ll text you, cowboy,” Gerald says, with a wink.

“…Okay,” Eddie says. This is bizarre. This whole day is bizarre. Buck vibrating next to him is absolutely bizarre.

“Can we get pictures too?” Ravi pipes.

And so Gerald fucking Rhinestone takes photos with both Ravi and Buck, and then also Hen for Karen, and records a video for Ravi’s Twitter followers, and then his manager asks if they want to take a group picture for his social media and Eddie somehow ends up between Buck and Gerald—who is still on the floor with a broken ankle, may he add—and feels like he’s stepped into an alternate dimension.

This is the weirdest fucking day of his life.

Finally, Hen and Chimney help him onto a backboard, and Buck and Chimney carry him out the auditorium and into the ambulance. By now, they’ve garnered company, and Bobby as well as the venue staff are standing shoulder to shoulder trying to keep the fans back. Gerald doesn’t help, waving to them from his backboard like a king on a dais, and then someone shrieks, “That’s Mr LAFD Updates Man!” and Eddie pretty much makes a run for the firetruck.

“Holy shit,” Ravi says, once they’ve all climbed in. “What just happened. I think I blacked out.”

“I cannot believe you got his fucking number,” Lucy says, with a laugh.

“Yeah, neither can I,” Eddie says, and knocks his knee pointedly into Buck’s. Buck is still vibrating a little—it’s kinda adorable, how fucking psyched he is, like a kid with an ice cream, but also Eddie needs some clarity here. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Uh, because Gerald Rhinestone was hitting on you?” Buck says. “Baby, I wouldn’t even be upset if you left me for him.”

Eddie gapes. Fucking gapes. Ravi says, “Word,” from behind his phone, probably live-Tweeting this whole conversation. Eddie wonders if it’s worth it to fall out the truck into moving traffic.

“What?” he says. “Why would I do that?”

He’s dismayed, actually, that Buck would say that, and Buck must notice, because he quickly takes his hand. “Hey, I’m kidding,” he says. “If you left me for him I’d be fucking devastated. Like, the kind of devastation I don’t think I could ever recover from.” The rest of the truck are politely pretending not to hear this. “It’s just… you know. He’s Gerald Rhinestone. I’d let you.”

Eddie is so, so confused. “Let me what?”

“You know. Have sex with him.”

Chimney barks with laughter and Hen elbows him. She is looking so pointedly out the window that her neck is almost at a full one-eighty turn. Eddie repeats, “Have sex with Gerald Rhinestone.”

“I’d be ashamed of you if you didn’t.”

“What the fuck,” Eddie says. “Why would I want to have sex with Gerald Rhinestone?”

Buck owlishly blinks at him. “Did you not see him?”

“I mean—yeah, I was there.”

“He’s hot like burning.”

“I mean, I guess,” Eddie says. “But why would I want to have sex with anyone who wasn’t you?”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Lucy mutters, and Chimney starts rolling down the window, probably to make his escape, but all Eddie can focus on is Buck, the way his face softens, eyes growing soppy—but also so in love Eddie aches a little.

“You sweet-talker, you,” Buck says, softly.

“I’m serious.”

“I know, and I’m mad, because if our positions were swapped I probably would have sex with Gerald Rhinestone.” Eddie elbows him. “I’m joking!”

“You’re so not,” Eddie says, and Buck grins at him, kinda guilelessly. Big burly overcoats and seatbelts be damned, Eddie throws an arm around his shoulders, and Buck obligingly tips, head on his shoulder. “It’s okay. I’d probably have sex with Ryan Reynolds if he asked.”

Buck bites a little at his shoulder. “Asshole,” he says, but his fingers find Eddie’s anyway, link together even when he sits up. They don’t hold hands much at work, at most just a quick squeeze, but here, neither of them let go.

Bobby says, from the front of the truck, “That was information I didn’t need to know about either of you.”

“This whole thing is going on Twitter, by the way,” Ravi says. “So you know.”

Buck squeezes his hand and smiles at him, bright-eyed and pink-cheeked. For the first time, Eddie can’t say he cares.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 51

Bedtime Stories/Fear Her

"Bedtime Stories"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: omg stoppp, they’re doing a three little pigs thing for the opening??? And the one hiding behind cinderblocks gets to live?? Maybe?? No. Turns out I would also just die. Anyway, think we’re getting more hellhounds stuff

Fun fact: thought this was the one I was watching last night for about half the episode and couldn’t figure out how the episode title fit…it makes sense NOW

I mean…he’s NOT gonna let it go, Dean, but sure.

Oh!! He DID live! As he should have because…that’s how the story goes, but it really didn’t look like it. Also it’s not…it’s not hellhounds

Love it when the victims give the brothers an excuse to actually say what they feel without saying (or yelling) it to each other

Oooo, now Hansel and Gretel (you can see why I originally loved OUAT when it came out)

Omg omg omg this is such a fucking fun yet…gory episode. Watching this sweet as pie looking old lady ruthlessly stab a guy is admittedly funny. I can’t wait to see what’s causing it

Fellas, is it gay to have a working knowledge of extremely popular mainstream fairytales?? I’m sorry you didn’t get to have a childhood, Dean, but this in no way determines Sam’s sexuality

Making…a weird half prediction now. Since we’ve spent a decent amount of time in this episode at the city’s hospital, maybe the little girl is in a coma there? Being read to? Making her a sleeping beauty or Snow White figure. Still don’t know what’s actually CAUSING the fairytales to come to life, but I’d be willing to put a little money on this

Snow White it is.

Are…are they gonna somehow convince this doctor to…let…his daughter…die? because of their (completely right) theory of what’s happening in this town? It just seems a little far fetched.

BITCH ARE YOU FOR REAL??? This fucking doctor. I cannot. He KNOWS his daughter is some kind of spirit and just played it off like he didn’t????

Omg of COURSE. The huntsman(/hunter/DEAN) is going into Little Red Ridinghood’s grandma’s home to go take out the big bad wolf…this shows so dumb. I love it.

HELLO??? Sammy? Where are you going?? Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. No…come on. NO.

Well, at least we know everything they did to modify the colt was a bust and useless. Well…not completely useless. I guess Sam did find out that killing the crossroads demon doesn’t release Dean from his contract. So that’s something, I guess

"Been On My Mind...": Nope...

"Fear Her"

This is one I remember as being properly scary the first time I watched it. Like not "quaking in fear" scary but just...there was an unease. This isn't "Blink" we're talking about.

Ah yes, the 2012 Olympics. Another fun fact: I went to a convention in the summer of 2012 and Hank Green, dressed as the Doctor, ran in during the opening ceremony with a (probably fake, right? like we were in a hotel in Chicago) torch as one of the big moments. (Unless he did that at the 2011 one, but the 2012 one makes so much more sense). That was very fun.

I can't remember why this girl is always indoors.

This goof with landing the TARDIS with the door facing the wrong way is fun.

Man, why can't my side ponytails ever look as cool and effortless as Rose's here??

I'm glad the super old lady is the one with sense. Does she know HOW this is happening? NO. But fucking hell if she's gonna just let everyone turn on each other and point fingers at the innocent road construction crew. She wants the REAL answers.

WHY IS THIS LITTLE GIRL ALL ALOOOOOONE??? I can't tell if she's being COMPELLED to draw or if it's at all of her own free will.

Ah yes, a box is an easy place to disappear a cat without having to use any CGI

Because they blew the whole CGI budget on the scribble come to life

Ohhhhh, she thinks the drawing in her closet is her dad...and I know there's some sort of alien ship in the spot where cars keep stalling, but I can't remember any of the motivations.

Seeing this little girl cry from the loneliness of HER life and the alien's life is...heartbreaking

OMG I forgot that she starts drawing the stadium and temporarily empties it. Amazing...

Genuinely love how seriously this guy takes his job. He truly loves laying tarmac and is proud of the work he does, and good for him.

SHE'S GONNA DRAW THE WORLD. OMG.

Also, I'm so sad that this guy's hard work went to waste and the moment they're filming the torch on this street is when that pothole is wide open. Poor thing.

"They keep trying to split us up, but they never ever will" I am DISTRAUGHT. Doomsday is so close...

[useyernamesteven]

(Needed some goofy fluff to distract myself from the angst im writing so buckle up, its long. Based on that one post I cannot find so if anyone can help a homie out, much appreciated)

Raya/Namaari Accidental Marriage Proposal

Its not a far stretch to assume that the different tribes have different practices and rituals. And given the 500 year gap in communication its also easy enough to assume that the tribes don't know about each others differing customs.

For example: marriage proposals. In Tail its as cut-and-dry as asking. Talon people propose with rings and jade coin. When you propose in Spine you chop down a tree to show your commitment and strength.

The Fang propose with blades. Fang people love their knives, daggers, spears, and other pointy weapons, so if you want to ask someone to marry you, you do it with a blade.

I like to imagine it'd be because offering a blade to someone- who isn't family -is the equivalent of trusting your life to that person. I like to think the Fang value not only a person's strength and honour, but their ability to care and protect their people. So giving a blade to your chosen love is like saying, "I'm giving you this weapon because I trust you with my heart, literally and metaphorically".

But again, 500 year old divide means others have no clue what giving a knife to someone from Fang entails...

So maybe its been a few months or so after the Druun have been vanquished. Raya is still re-learning how to be a 'princess' while playing liaison between the tribes, with Sisu as her partner in crime. She likes it because she still gets to travel and she gets to see her new friends from the other tribes: Boun's business is booming, Noi has started talking, and Tong has become the new Chief of Spine.

Then there's Namaari.

Six years of playing cat-and-mouse together (or rather angry kitten and homeless puppy) can be hard to overcome. At first it was a struggle. And incredibly awkward. Namaari, too guilt ridden over what she'd done, and Raya, still angry and socially stunted, could barely hold a conversation together.

Eventually Raya, fed up with the weird awkward talk, dragged Namaari to Fang's training grounds and challenged her to a sparring match. And only when it was over, the both of them exhausted and laying on the ground, did they start talking, actually talking. About what happened with the gem, with Sisu, what they can't let go of, not yet, but what they hope they can move past one day.

It made things after easier because it was familiar ground for them, but it also opened up new paths too. Now in the months since they saved the world and having spent that time working together, Raya would like to consider Namaari a close friend.

Which is probably why she's so surprised when Namaari off-handedly mentions her birthday is next week. Namaari, who's less than thrilled about her mother's plans for a big celebration, doesn't even notice how much Raya's caught off guard. Namaari doesn't really care for her birthday, much less when her mother makes a big deal about it, but she still brushes her hair behind her ear when she asks Raya if she's going to attend.

Raya recovers, nudging Namaari saying that she's obviously going, and boasting about the amazing gift she's going to bring.

Which then leads to her dragging Sisu to Talon in search of the perfect gift (Sisu being the only 'person' she knows who can help being that she's a master gift giver... Sisu's words, not Raya's, but still). They run around Talon for ages, with Sisu practically buying everything in sight (with the Heart Palace Credit of course) but Raya can't find a single thing she thinks Namaari would actually like.

And then she spots a Fang vendor selling blades.

The woman is nice and she asks Raya if she's looking for something in particular. Raya says she wants to get a dagger for 'someone special' from Fang (not wanting to rack up the price if the woman knew who it was for, but also completely unaware to what she's just implied).

The vendor seems a little surprised but she easily walks Raya through picking out the perfect dagger for her 'someone special'. Raya ends up buying a pretty, yet functional dagger with a dragon engraved in the blade and an ornate box to keep it in. As Raya's leaving the woman gives her a pat on the shoulder and says, "All the best for the both of you and I'm sure she'll say yes," which Raya can't really make sense of so she shrugs and leaves to go find Sisu and her mountain of trinkets.

So now its the party, and when Namaari said Virana was making a big deal about it, she really meant it. People from all the tribes are attending and Sisu's brought her brothers and sisters and there's music and food and fireworks...

And Namaari stands beside her mother in a beautiful dress that makes Raya's heart thud erratically (it's totally platonic). Her and her Ba walk up to them and start making small talk before her Ba and Virana break off to chat with other dignitaries, leaving Raya and Namaari together.

Raya likes how Namaari relaxes around her when its just them, despite the room full of people. They talk and banter and tease and laugh, but more than anything Raya just likes being with Namaari. And when Namaari mentions how much she hates formal wear, how dresses don't suit her, Raya makes it a game to see how many times she can mention how beautiful Namaari looks while they're talking, just because it makes Namaari flush and do the hair thing she does when she's shy. No other heart-related reason.

Its not until much later when Raya suddenly remembers the gift she brought and she runs off to fetch it. When she returns she hands Namaari the sleek box with a smile and a sheepish "Happy Birthday dep'la".

And Namaari's blushing and smiling as she takes the box, telling Raya she didn't have to as she opens the box-

And immediately slams it shut. Her face turns bright red and she whorls on Raya with wide eyes and a panicked, hissed "whatareyoudoing?!" And poor Raya's totally thrown, so sure she'd picked out the perfect gift. "You don't like it?" But Namaari shoves the box back into her hands, with another frenzied whisper "thatsnotit!"

Well now Raya's a little miffed because "You didn't even look at it" and before Namaari can stop her she's pulling the dagger from the box and offering it back to Namaari.

Meanwhile the room goes incredibly quiet as everyone from Fang suddenly notices what's happening between the princesses. Virana nearly spits out her drink. Everyone else carries on like normal, but a few people watch their new Fang friends with curious looks, completely out of the loop.

So now Raya's essentially down on one knee without realizing it, Namaari's about to have a heart attack, everyone from Fang is on the edge of their seat, and the dragons are having a rousing drinking contest with people from Spine.

So the party is going great.

Raya (oblivious to the world save for Namaari) is giving Namaari her strongest puppy dog eyes because she'd spent so long looking for the perfect gift dep'la, and "You're pretty special Namaari, special to me, and you deserve it."

Namaari, as red faced as she is, softens at Raya's admission, smiling a little to herself before she takes the dagger from Raya with a soft "it's lovely dep'la".

And suddenly the room's loud again as people from Fang start clapping and whistling. Everyone else is lost but soon they join in as well, despite having no clue as to what they're cheering for. Namaari's back to being flustered and she grabs Raya's hand and hauls her toward Virana and Benja. Raya, finally taking in the room around them, is confused as to why people are congratulating her and Namaari.

Virana has recovered by the time the two approach and if no one knew better it might've also appeared she was trying hard not to smile. Namaari hisses something to her mother Raya doesn't hear, and she shoots her Ba a questioning look. Benja looks a little pensive but he's got a quirk in his lips that Raya knows means mischief.

Virana gently pats her daughter's shoulder before turning to address the room, excusing the four of them. They turn to leave but not before Virana calls out to the crowd, "And it goes without saying you're all invited to the wedding as well," and then ushers her horrified daughter, her baffled betrothed, and Benja out the door.

Instantly Namaari's in hysterics, asking her mother why she'd say that when Raya obviously didn't know what she was doing. Virana, quite obviously playing ignorance, asks why Namaari accepted the blade if she knew what she was doing. And poor Namaari can only gape, red faced and no come back.

Raya has finally caught on to what she's done and yeah, okay now it all makes sense. The vendor, Namaari's (gay) panic, the congratulations... she just proposed to Namaari. She just proposed to Namaari. In front of most of Kumandra. Oh toi!

Benja, still smirking to himself, ruffles Raya's hair before turning to Namaari and Virana and saying, "To be fair... Namaari did propose first."

Marriage proposals in Heart are an exchange of necklaces. So when Namaari had given Raya the Sisu pendant back when they were kids, they'd essentially gotten engaged and since Raya kept it, they've technically been engaged for the past six years.

(Too) Long story short, Raya and Namaari get engaged, get married, fall in love, and live sapphically ever after.

End.

(Okay, I'm done. Back to angst.)

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Misto’s Mating Dance Partners

Because the White Cat Lift AKA Mating Dance scene of the Jellicle Ball focuses mainly on Victoria and whoever she’s dancing with, what’s going on in the background is often ignored. But, there’s a clear pattern. The other cats pair off, go to the edges of the stage, forming a circle around Victoria and Her Man. They then do...whatever. There don’t seem to be official rules for what the pairs do, so some of them nap, some of the stare out into space, some of them cuddle...

And some of them blatantly fuck.

This scene is often called the Cat Orgy because of the blatant fucking that often occurs. So, you can watch the characters, see who pairs up with who and whether or not they fuck. Because Misto is my favorite character and one of the easiest to identify in even low-quality bootlegs, I went and watched him during this scene in every production in my bootleg collection.

Part One: Failure

In several of the older productions, I couldn’t see anything. Bootleggers and professionals alike tended to zoom in on Victoria and Her Man and stay there for most of the scene. Mexico 1991 mainly did this. Also, Vienna, with its Dark Voids and Weird Editing Choices was impossible to decipher.

Among the newer productions, Madrid was lost to Weird Editing Choices. Most of the dance wasn’t even visible! There were long close ups on Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella doing nothing when they should have been filming Victoria and Plato doing Something. It wasn’t even like they were distracted by an interesting background event. They just held the camera on characters who weren’t doing anything other than Reacting Slightly.

Part Two: Mistoria

Paris and Zurich paired Misto with Victoria for the Mating Dance. There was a slightly different dynamic with Misto and Victoria than there is when Plato or Tumblebrutus is Victoria’s Man. When Plato or Tumble, the most common choices for this part, approach Victoria, they’re awkward, but they still sort of take the lead. Victoria comes across as a bit shy at first, but she quickly gets into it. In the Mistoria versions, Misto is far more nervous approaching and often jumps back startled after touching Victoria. It feels like Victoria takes the lead in these versions, turning her back and basically being like “lift me”. Zurich Misto in particular is practically freaking out and the lift is kind of bizarre to watch because he looks so tiny!

Part Three: You’d Think Misto/Cassandra Would Be a Bigger Ship

Broadway-based productions, which paired Alonzo with Demeter, seemed to love pairing Misto with Cassandra for the Mating Dance. Troika and Buenos Aires did this and they did it in the same way. Misto and Cassandra practically have a dance of their own, performing the same motions when paired together. Usually, these pairs tend to seem like they’re improvising a little, but this specific couple has its own choreography.

The idea to pair Misto and Cassandra most likely comes from Misto later choosing Cassandra as his “lovely assistant” when he brings back Old Deuteronomy. In most productions, they don’t have much interaction outside of that. In Troika, Cassandra is also one of the cats who sometimes stands in for Coricopat and Tantomile, who were cut. Coricopat and Tantomile’s twin stuff was given to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, while a lot of their psychic moments were given to either Demeter or Cassandra. So, in Troika, Misto and Cassandra are both mystical cats of some sort, which brings them together, because it’s something other cats don’t get.

I’m not super into this ship, because I generally don’t ship Misto with women, but the implications of the pairing in the Troika version are interesting.

Part Four: Lonely Misto

Hamburg, The German Tent Tour, and probably Moscow didn’t pair Misto with anyone. He just sat by himself. In Hamburg, there was a reason for this. Just like how Buenos Aires and Troika gave Misto’s role of fetching Old Deuteronomy to Skimble, Hamburg has a Mistotable instead of a Skimbletable.

I probably should’ve listed Moscow as a failure, but I’m still not sure what happened there.

The German Tent Tour just has Misto sitting by himself. He crawls to the Cuddle Pile, does a handstand, and no one cares.

But, the German Tent Tour shows signs of being part of a trend. While earlier, Broadway-based shows liked pairing Misto and Cassandra, newer productions never seem sure who to pair him with, so you have this scene of a lonely Misto surrounded by happy, horny straight couples and looking a bit out of place. This was probably unintentional, but it gives Misto an extra layer of gay coding.

Part Five: More Recent Stuff That Doesn’t Fit in the Other Categories

The 2013 UK Tour does something a bit interesting. Misto just sort of naps during the Mating Dance, but Carbucketty, who’s been following him around and imitating his dance moves for the past few minutes, lies down to nap at his feet. They don’t really interact and they’re barely touching, but it still counts as a pair. This is the closest I’ve gotten to finding a version where Misto’s paired with a tom. Of course, compared to most of the straight couples in any version of this scene, there is no horniness to be found. So, they’re two bros napping next to each other, but not quite cuddling ‘cause they’re not gay :(

Also I think Carbucketty might’ve ditched Misto for Rumpleteazer at the last second. We can never have nice things.

The Broadway Revival, having different choreography and staging for most of the Jellicle Ball is interesting in the way the Broadway Revival is usually interesting (kind of frustrating tbh). In the new choreography, everything from Bomba’s solo through the Mating Dance is basically one scene. Some queens dance, even more queens join them, a bunch of toms show up and pair up with them, the Boys Ballet and Whirlygigs are replaced with a romantic dance, everyone takes a hit of moonlight and things start to resemble other productions a bit more from there.

Because the pairs pair up quickly and stay together for a long time, it’s easy to see all of them. Only most of the cast is paired up, but I can identify, Tugger/Bomba, Munk/Demeter, Alonzo/Cassandra, Skimble/Jenny, Plato/Victoria, Coricopat/Tantomile (why do the siblings always stay together for the horny scenes?), Mungojerrie/Rumpleteazer (they’re probably not siblings in this version, so they get a pass), Pouncival/Electra, and Carbucketty/Sillabub.

Jellylorum, Tumblebrutus, and Mistoffelees are absent. They’re offstage until the Mating Dance properly starts. I have no idea where Tumblebrutus went, but this isn’t about him. Tugger crawls past Misto and they almost interact before Tugger leaves with Bomba. Jellylorum pairs up with Misto, presumably because neither one could find an actually date.

Now, the actress who played Jellylorum in this production has said in interviews that she played Jellylorum as the same age as Tugger. (The actors are besties irl so they made their characters besties too). So, this isn’t quite as weird as if feels when you first read it. Everyone’s the same age in this show, except for the kittens. Electra, Sillabub, and Pouncival were played as literal children in every scene but this one, because no one can escape the cat orgy (except Tumblebrutus, for some reason). But, unlike in 1998, which featured a lot of crack pairings during this scene (Tugger/Jenny, anyone?), pretty much every pairing in the 2016 orgy is the most obvious pairing possible. Anyone who didn’t have an obvious opposite gender counterpart was given one, except for Misto, Jelly, and Tumble. They could’ve brought back Peter (renamed Asparagus) from the opening to be Jelly’s obvious pairing, and then just had Tumble nap on Misto’s feet like 2013 Carbucketty, but they didn’t.

The result is that they created a bunch of comphet pairings but simply couldn’t do so for Misto. All his usual comphet pairing were taken. Cassandra’s with Alonzo and Victoria’s with Plato. Knowing that Tyler Hanes and Ricky Ubeda both shipped Tuggoffelees, they probably didn’t want to do the comphet thing either. Up until this point, this production had actually downplayed Tugger/Bomba, compared to other versions and added Tugger/Misto moments. I think, if it’d been allowed, Tugger and Misto would’ve been paired up there. Bomba can be like 1998, not having her usual partner and just going with whoever’s not paired up, which would be Tumblebrutus this time. Peter could be there for Jelly. Everyone’s happy!

But seriously, Gay Misto Mating Dance Scene when? Somebody get on that. People already find the horniness in Cats to be weird and adding gay horniness won’t make much of a difference.

[m34gs]

'Tis I, the one who puts her shirt on wrong most of the time😊😊

And I bring you this humble idea

Kisuke takes everyone to the beach. Would Grimmjow like it? Would he know how to swim? What swimwear would he wear? What kind of shenanigans would he and Ichigo get up to? Who is included in "everyone"? 🧡🧡💙💙

I hope you are having a lovely day!!!

Hello there, my lovely friend with her shirt on backward! I had a wonderful day, spent some time with a friend! I hope your day was good as well!!!

I very much enjoy this idea, and I have several thoughts, which I will put under the cut as this will be quite a long post, lol!

So, Kisuke wants to take them all to the beach...why? Because, he's Kisuke. He's probably running from some responsibility or other, or maybe he needs some special item and the beach is where it happens to be, but it's hot and he doesn't want to look for it, he wants to goof off. So he brings the others in the hopes one of them will 'stumble across it' and he can swoop in and get it. Is it a cursed object? Perhaps. Will they need to fight off some hollows to get to it? Oh definitely. Does he tell them any of this before hand? No. Why? Because, he's Kisuke.

Who is this 'everyone' he invites to the beach? Well, we have the usual victims I mean friends: Ichigo, Grimmjow, Jinta, Ururu, and Yoruichi comes along to laugh at everyone. Tessai is there too, with a lovely picnic laid out, all hand made foods. I think the invitation would be extended (by Jinta) to Ichigo's sister, Yuzu, and Karin because Karin will not be one to stand by and let her siblings have a fun day while she's stuck at home with Puck I mean, Isshin. Maybe Ichigo is totally suspicious of this whole set up. Why? Because, it's started by Kisuke. So he confides to Orihime about it, which was the wrong decision because now her and Chad and Uryu are all coming along instead of helping him get out of the situation. Rukia and Renji come too, after finding out about the trip from Kisuke and Rukia basically telling him to make sure there's enough food for the two of them as well.

Grimmjow is unsure what to think at first. He's curious, but not so much about the beach as he is about why it is such a big event. He doesn't get why all the humans and soul reapers wanna hang around in the sand and then get soaked in the water, like, don't they get cold? And what do they do when they have to get undressed? Isn't that taboo for humans to see each other naked blatantly in the open like that. Kisuke laughs at him at first, and then explains the concept of swimsuits. And now Grimmjow is more confused, because why would they want special clothes just to get wet?

But he has to join in and be just like the rest of them, because he wouldn't want them thinking he's scared or weak or anything like that. So he demand Kisuke help him find a swimsuit. Which is part of the plan. See, I fully believe that whatever original plan Kisuke has for this trip, he also wouldn't pass up a chance to have Ichigo and Grimmjow around each other in swimwear. Two birds, one stone, and all that jazz. So he finds Grimm a swimsuit. It's tight. Skin tight. The kind professionals use. I used to be in a swimclub, for about seven years. Trust me, the racing suits? They hide NOTHING. And Grimmjow doesn't know enough to be able to say he doesn't like it. He assumes everyone will have one like that. He is wrong.

Ichigo chokes when he sees Grimmjow walk out in that suit. Legit. Chokes on the air. Because it very finely accentuates the Arrancar's butt and thighs. But also, because Grimmjow didn't wear a shirt, not a sweater, nothing on top. He is showing off his fine upper body and Ichigo can't cope. He's dying. Chad, help him, man down, Ichigo is a puddle now. A puddle of Ichigo, on the pavement because Kisuke is an ass :D (Ichigo knows it's Kisuke's doing because he knows there is no way Grimmjow would choose something like that).

Chad and Orihime may have to shake him a bit, but Ichigo recovers. Grimmjow is concerned (he read about the dangers of humans getting heat stroke at the beach, on the internet, and he'll be damned if he lets Ichigo die on him in less than ten minutes, without even challenging him to the dangerous life-threatening game of beach volleyball) so he yanks Ichigo over to the shade and tells him to 'stay there if you don't want to die, shithead'. Ichigo is now very confused; on the one hand Grimmjow being bossy is kind of...hot, but on the other he came to the beach so he is not going to sit in the shade and watch everyone else have fun. He ends up going into the water to Grimmjow's dismay, and much like an overbearing parent cat, Grimmjow is constantly fetching him out and dropping him in the shade. And Ichigo fights him the entire way and then goes right. back. in. the water. Grimmjow is getting hella frustrated because why the heck can't Ichigo see he is trying to protect him from the dangers of the sun and also the danger of the sea monsters (which he heard about from Kisuke and Jinta). Each time, Ichigo goes out further, and each time Grimmjow fetches him and brings him back (He knows how to swim, he's just not used to doing it when not naked in a pool of water in the training ground Kisuke has).

This goes on for several hours. Everyone else is idly watching them and placing bets on who caves in to who first, while still having their own fun. Finally, Ichigo is the one that goes 'fine. you know what? fine. I'm going to get some ice cream.' He turns on his heel and leaves to go get some from a nearby ice cream stand. And Grimmjow is NOT HAPPY BECAUSE THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING SHADE KUROSAKI YOU SHITHEAD GET BACK HERE. So he follows him.

It's unsurprising, but Ichigo now has a grumpy Grimmjow standing with him in the ice cream line. However, they are standing a few feet apart (due to them both being hot and annoyed at the other). So, Ichigo definitely gets hit on. I mean, he's a total catch. And all the other gay men definitely notice. So he's given this dude's number, and before he can even stammer out an excuse, Grimmjow takes the number from him, stares at it for a moment, then looks at the dude that gave it to him and says, because he is Grimmjow and fighting is all he ever thinks about and he has no clue yet that he is actually in love with Ichigo, "You wouldn't be able to satisfy him." He says that. To the man who gave Ichigo his number. And Grimmjow is talking about sparring, and Ichigo suspects this but that doesn't stop him from turning red and smacking the arrancar on the back of his head while the other man apologizes and says he 'didn't know Ichigo was taken already'. And Ichigo is too annoyed with Grimmjow to bother correcting the man, in fact he's so busy snapping at the arrancar he forgot the other man was there.

And then they get back to the beach, and both of them are as irritable as ever. Renji does that thing, where you get yourself soaked and then run over to hug your friend as a prank to make them cold and damp. And Ichigo has ice cream, which Grimmjow knows is cold. And the water is cold. So he grabs Renji's face and shoves him backward because dammit Abarai don't you know hypothermia is a THING. Except how dare he touch Rukia's friend, so she comes up, grabs his wrist, and tosses him over her shoulder in a self-defense throw (don't remember what it's called lol). And Ichigo is just sitting there like :/ with his ice cream.

Uryuu has not come out from under the umbrella they set up. He's reading a book. Ichigo goes to sit by him for a bit because it's calmer. Grimmjow leaves him be because at least that is SHADE. Yuzu and Karin are playing in the water with Jinta and Ururu, though Jinta is more focused on Yuzu and Karin is very protective of her twin so she is doing her best to sabotage all his efforts of winning Yuzu over. Ururu helps her because why not. Kisuke is sitting on the beach under an umbrella, eating delicious food and laughing as Karin once again pushes Jinta underwater. Orihime is trying to get them to stop picking on him, very concerned about someone getting hurt. Chad is floating in the water on his back, completely relaxed and ignoring everyone around him.

So, there are my thoughts, lol. Basically, everyone else is having normal fun at the beach and Grimmjow goes into overprotective mode for Ichigo because he is not used to beaches and he is nervous. Feel free to let me know your thoughts! Any other activities you think should happen? How long do they stay there? Does anyone else show up to join them? Do you think Ichigo and Grimmjow get some alone time at some point? What was Kisuke's true motive??? :D

[olynix]

Guess who tried their had at writing again! I like to think I’ve gotten better (if anyone’s wondering it’s cross posted on Wattpad and Ao3 too)

Sleepover Aftermaths And Gay Panic

‘This is a problem’ Nico thought as he looked at Will. He was still sleeping, sunlight softly covering his frame from the window. Mumbling something about cats and cheese. ‘A big, big, problem.’

It was just supposed to be a sleepover, a completely platonic bros-being-bros, pals-being-pals sleepover. Alas it seemed the fates had other plans.

After watching every Disney movie in existence (as per Will’s demand), since the Hephaestus cabin wanted them to test out their newest monster-proof tech, they had decided to settle down on Nico’s bed for a game of UNO, somewhere along the way falling asleep.

Great right? Wrong.

The entire time Nico’s brain had other plans, screaming senselessly whenever their hands so much as brushed, forcing his heart to flutter at every smile, making his face do it’s best imitation of vermilion, it was ridiculous.

And don’t even get him started on his reaction to Will winning their ridiculously lengthy game of UNO, cheering and wearing that brighter than life smile that made Nico’s heart become a drum and his face give a tomato a run for its money.

He was getting off topic.

After they’d fallen asleep in his bed, they’d somehow found each other in the middle of the night; wrapping their arms around each other like koalas to trees and never letting go.

Nico (thank gods) had woken up first, and found himself in a bed with his crush, his crush who he doubted was even into him, his crush who was snuggling him with no apparent intention of letting go anytime in the near future, his crush who looked like he could outshine even his Dad’s godly form if he wished it, and promptly panicked.

What does Nico do when he panics?

Address the situation like a normal, competent human being? No.

Make a plan? No.

Freeze up? Apparently not.

No, what Nico does when he panics is shadow travel to the Underwood and sprint up to his stepmother screaming “What am I supposed to do?!”

You’d think sprinting up to a goddess in skull pajamas at 4am would get you cursed so badly you’d wish you had landed up in the fields of punishment. Instead, what it landed Nico was an exasperated look and an even more exasperated “What did I tell you about playing fetch with Cerberus?”

“It wasn’t Cerberus!” Persephone looked him up and down. “Really! It wasn’t Cerberus”

“Well then who was it?” Her question was met with a flustered silence, she let out a sigh “I’ll get the Furies”

“Wait no-“ she was already halfway on her way to call them. “It was Will! It was Will”

She stopped mid motion

And her jaw dropped.

“Your crush Will? Apollo’s kid? That Will?” She looked at him in disbelief, not that he could blame her; she was always looking for more info on his crush. Info he usually steadfastly refused with a flustered subject change that wasn’t subtle in the slightest.

“...yes” She looked at him, looked at his appearance, looked at the clock on her nightstand, looked back and him, and promptly demanded answers.

“What happened?!” It was then Nico realized that 1) Persephone was staring at him like he’d grown a second head and 2) all of those things listed above didn’t exactly paint a PG picture.

“It wasn’t that!” She looked at him disbelievingly “really!”

“Well then what was it?” She crossed her legs and sat back, clearly getting comfortable for the inevitable hour-long discussion at least.

“Well...”

\\~*•*~//

Will was confused.

Scratch that, Will wasn’t really confused, more like worried.

Because he woke up alone in a bed.

Normally that wouldn’t be concerning, normally he would’ve stretched and begrudgingly got up to start the day, soaking up the first few rays of sun. Normally he wasn’t waking up in his crushes bed after a sleepover with said crush nowhere to be found.

Will could’ve rationalized this: maybe he slept in, maybe Nico was training, maybe Nico was using the bathroom or getting ready.

Except he can’t sleep in, and he seriously doubted I-sleep-till-noon-on-a-good-day Nico had woken up at 6:30 and decided ‘hey, wanna know what’ll be so much better than sleeping in for 5 more hours like I usually do? Leaving bed and stabbing bags of hay with my swords’

So yeah, Will was worried.

That was, until he got a face full of tired, emo, Italian. And an earful of colorful Italian curses to boot.

“Hi” Nico looked at him wide eyed, as if he’d forgotten Will was there, which quickly turned into a squak after Will realized that he had just shadow travelled and yanked his ear.

“What did I say about shadow traveling?!” He was sure that if Kayla were here she’d tease him about acting like a disgruntled dad, especially to Nico of all people. What he got in place of that was a mumbled “don’t do it”

“Until?” His grip on Nico’s ear still hadn’t let up, Nico gave a big sigh.

“Until your sure I won’t spontaneously turn into a ghost as soon as I use my powers”

“Exactly! You’re supposed to be recovering, not taking a spontaneous trip to Peru” Nico gave him a weird look.

“Why would I go to Peru?” Will noticed Nico was still in his pajamas. Bad brain, focus.

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?” Nico looked at him and sighed

“I went to the underworld” Will tilted his head in confusion, Nico’s cheeks reddened for some reason. “I was visiting Persephone.”

’Oh, that explained it.’ He and Persephone had gotten really close over the years, and it wasn’t surprising for Nico to disappear from camp randomly to visit her, ‘But still...’

Will sighed, and looked at the Italian boy “Next time you visit her can you please wait until your healthier, at least? You scared me half to death.” Nico looked at him and let out a begrudging “fine”

‘well’ Will thought ‘it’s something, for now at least’ he looked at the time “I should probably get going”

Nico looked startled for a second “Yeah, see you at the pavilion?” Will smiled

“You bet it.”

[pattonsperfectfamily-asks]

Chapter 18- What’s in a Name

TW: forcing someone to throw up, lying, yelling, manipulation, 

Masterpost

1st day of vacation

“C'mon Virgil, hurry up!” Damien says anxiously, hurriedly pulling the fourteen-year-old behind him as he tried to run through the woods.

“Where are we going?” Virgil says worriedly, looking down at Sela, who kept pace at his side, occasionally snapping at the flowing fabric of the white sundress he was wearing. “Dad said the berry bushes we on the other fork in the trail.”

“We’re not going berry picking Virgil, now come on!” Damien rolls his eyes, beginning to sprint when he saw the unattended beach on the other side of the island. “Here, help me get some sticks!”

“What are you doing?” Virgil asks, tilting his head and stopping at the treeline as Damien began to rush around picking up sticks. Sela sat down next to him, licking his palm and letting out a small yap.

“We’re gonna spell Roman’s last name out with sticks. He’s famous.” Damien explains tiredly, grabbing another stick.

“Why are you gonna do that?”

“So that someone in a plane might see it and think ‘hey, that missing author’s last name is spelled on that beach down there’!”

“So?”

“So then they’d rescue us, Virgil!” The nineteen year old snaps, “Now help me!”

“Why would they want to rescue us? Nothing’s wrong. And since when is Uncle Roman famous?”

“God damn it, Virgil!” Damien groans, hiding his head in his hands.

Virgil pouts, moving to the sea and pulling off his shoes.

“What are you doing?” Damien asks tiredly.

“I’m going swimming!” Virgil says excitedly, seemingly forgetting the argument as he wades into the water. Sela follows him happily.

“I’m supposed to be watching you, get back over here!” Damien orders.

“You’re not that good of a babysitter. I wanna swim, not make some dumb sign.” Virgil whines, crossing his arms and staring back at his brother.

Damien throws up his arms, looking at the sky. “God? Anybody, for crying out loud!”

“Come swim with me!” Virgil whines. Damien sighs.

“First Patton takes my yarmulke, and now he takes everyone else’s sanity. Fine!” Yanking off his shoes, Damien angrily throws them down on the sand and runs into the water.

Virgil smiles at him, diving under the water and swimming a few feet away before surfacing. “There’s shells!”

“Just don’t get bit by a shark.” Damien sighs, before his eyes light up with an idea. “Do you want to do something fun?”

“What?” Virgil asks, giggling when Sela began to swim out towards him, her head bobbing in the water.

“Let’s make a raft!” Damien suggests. “We could paddle it around.”

Virgil pauses, looking unsure. “I don’t know. We’re supposed to be picking berries.”

Damien bites back a snarky reply and smiles as brightly as he can. “Dad and Papa are spending time together. They won’t even notice we’re gone. And with the way you eat, they won’t question any missing berries either.”

Virgil laughs, diving underwater again and disappearing.

Damien waits until Virgil resurfaces, beginning to play fetch in the water with Sela before he goes back to shore.

Without Virgil’s help, it takes Damien a lot longer to make the sign, but he eventually makes a sizeable Sanders in the sand with sticks and rocks.

“Come on Virgil, it’s getting late!” Damien calls. The younger boy looks over at him, then begins to swim for shore.

Virgil shivers once he catches up to Damien, obediently following him on the trail back to the summer house.

“Look at you two, you’re soaked to the bone and freezing!” Patton comes out when he sees the two approaching, holding two fluffy towels.

Virgil giggles as Patton aggressively begins to dry his hair off. “Dad, my purple is fading out again, can we dye my hair soon?”

“Ohh, but honey, you look so pretty with your dark hair.” Patton pouts, ruffling the still-wet hair. “Plus, we’re on an island right now. We can’t go to the store until vacation is over. Can we leave your hair black for a bit kiddo?”

Virgil’s bright smile falters slightly, before turning into an all out pout. “Okay…”

Patton smiles, kissing his son on the nose before looking down at the empty basket. “Did you eat all the berries already jelly bean?”

“We went swimming instead.” Damien cuts in truthfully, not giving Virgil any time to speak about the sign.

“That sounds fun!” Patton smiles, grabbing Virgil’s hand and straightening. “Let’s get you out of that dress and into a nice, dry nightgown. It’s getting late.”

2nd day of vacation

“Damien!”

A hard shove.

Damien grunts, rolling over and trying to pull the covers back over his head, only to be stopped by some force.

“Damien wake up!” That voice again!

“Remy stop it.” Damien mumbles.

“Dami stop it!” The voice whines. “Who’s Remy?”

Damien’s eyes shoot open.

Virgil.

Groaning he rolls over and stares at the god awful ocean-themed room.

“Damien dad’s yelling…” Virgil whimpers. “Please get up, I don’t want him to be more mad…”

Damien sits up, looking at Virgil wearily. “Why’s he mad? What did you do?”

“Nothing! He was mad at Uncle Remus, and then he and Uncle Roman started arguing…” Virgil crawls into the bed next to Damien, wrapping his arms around Damien’s waist and hiding his face in their chest. “I don’t like when they yell…”

Damien rolls his eyes, reluctantly wrapping his arms around Virgil and picking the smaller boy up, carrying him downstairs.

“-to have made it, it’s his name!”

“Look at him Patton, he can’t do anything because of you!”

“So you did it then?”

“No! I was here all day!”

Damien’s eyes widen, setting Virgil down as the two adults look over at them.

“Morning kiddos!” Patton greets peppily, forcing a smile onto his face. “Uncle Roman and I are just having a little disagreement, why don’t you go play outside?”

“Why are you fighting?” Damien asks, grabbing Virgil’s hand and squeezing it.

“Patton think I made a sign on the beach.” Roman glares. “Which I didn’t. I’m not an idiot.”

“Or Remus did it.” Patton retorts.

“He just sits around all day! How the hell could he make a sign?” Roman yells.

“How do you know it wasn’t Logan?” Damien asks, a wash of anger and guilt settling in his stomach.

“Because he was here with me. Are you saying that you did it?” Patton asks, grabbing Damien’s chin and forcing the teen to look him in the eyes.

“No.” Damien says, his voice steady. “I was with Virgil all day.”

“So it’s settled then?” Patton smiles sickly sweet. “It was either Roman or Remus, and if Remus can’t walk without someone telling him to…”

Patton cuts off, turning and moving to storm back over to Roman.

“I did it!”

Patton stops and turns, Roman looking at Virgil in shock.

“What?” Damien looks down at Virgil, trying to hide his panic.

“I…” Virgil sniffles, his eyes watering as Patton kneels down next to him. “I jus-just made it be-because I thought it would cheer Uncle Remus up…I didn’t know you’d be mad…”

“Really honey?” Patton asks, his voice scarily calm.

“Mhm…” Virgil nods, staring at the ground and shrinking into himself, trying to look meek.

“There!” Damien announces. “It was an accident.”

“Dami, my little baker, if a chef accidentally puts peanuts into an order of someone that was allergic to peanuts, would they still get sued for physical endangerment?”

“Uhm…” Damien shifts. “Yeah, but what does that have to do with-?”

“If the chef has to suffer the consequences of their mistake, and learn to be more careful when preparing food, then Virgil should too.” Patton harshly grabs Virgil’s arm and starts to pull them into the room he shared with Logan.

“Pl-Please, I’m sorry dad!” Virgil wailed as Patton’s nails dug into his skin.

“Patton stop!” Roman tries futilely.

“I did it!" 

Patton stops just outside the door to the bedroom, looks back at Damien and then grins. "Nice try, Spartacus.”

“Patton-!” Damien rushes forward, pounding his fists on the closed door. “Patton please, it really was me, don’t hurt him!”

There’s silence from inside the room, then a loud cry from Virgil. Damien hardly noticed his knuckles getting bloody until Roman grabbed him by the waist and pulled him away from the door.

Virgil sobbed as Patton leaned him forward again and he emptied his stomach into the toilet in front of him.

“There we go baby…” Patton gently cards his fingers through Virgil’s hair and dabs at the sweat on his face as he heaved. “You won’t be making that mistake again, will you?”

“N-No!” Virgil manages to get out before puking again, the gross taste embedding itself in his throat, and even his nose.

“It’ll only last a few more seconds Virgey.” Patton gently kisses the side of Virgil’s head. “Then I’ll make you a nice big breakfast. You’re staying inside with me and Papa all day today, m'kay? Maybe I’ll trust you on the beach in the morning.”

Virgil sniffled, his eyes watering, as his stomach finally settled. Sitting still, he allows Patton to clean off his face and help him rinse out his mouth, before collapsing into his arms with one last sob.

“It’s okay sweetie, I’ve got you.” Patton murmurs, gently rocking the boy.

Virgil let’s his eyes drift shut.

Words: 1,515

Taglist

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[keepingupwiththeboltons]

Game of Thrones characters as Mean Girls quotes

Joffrey: “Stop trying to make ‘Fetch’ happen! It’s not going to happen!”

Cersei: “So you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins... “

jojen: “Its like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when its going to rain... well they can tell when it’s raining.”

Roose bolton: “On Wednesday we wear pink”

Ramsay: “I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!”

pre-reek theon: “Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple”

Sansa: “ Is that your natural hair color?”

Renly: “He’s almost too gay to function”

Bobby B. : “You could try sears.”

Stannis: “Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it, promise? OK, everybody take some rubbers.”

Tommen: “Mom can you pick me up. I’m scared.”

Tyrion: “I don’t think my father, the inventer of toaster strudel, would be happy to hear about this.”

Jon snow: “Thats why his hair is so big, its full of secrets.”

Dany: “if your’e from Africa why are you white?” “OH my god you can’t just ask people why they’re white!”

Cersei: “ She’s fabulous, buts she’s evil”

Margaery (With loras in the passanger seat and sansa in the back) : “Get in loser, were going shopping.”

Loras: “Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit?”

Olenna tyrell:  “Nana takes her wig off when she's drunk”

Robb: “Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by Walder Frey.”

Bran, while warging: “I’m a wolf, duh”

Theon: “ Boo, you whore!”

theon: “this girl is the nastiest skank bitch i have ever M E T. DO NOT TRUST HER. She is a fugly slut!!” *he writes under a picture of himself*

Cat: “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners. And that I couldn’t be happier the school year is ending.”

Randal Tarly:  “I don’t hate you cuz yo’ fat… yo’ fat cuz I hate you!

Sansa: “Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.”

Rickan: “What are marijuana Tablets?”

Dany:  “Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that’s not good.”

Yara: “Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy”

Jojen, with bran backing him up: “ Yo, yo, yo All you sucker Mcs Ain't got nothing on me From my grades to my lines You can't touch Jojen reed I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred but forget what you heard I'm like James bond the Third Shaken not stirred I'm Jojen Reed The E is silent When I sneak in your door And make love to your woman On the bathroom floor I don't play it like Shaggy You'll know it was me because the next time you see her She'll be like Oh, Jojen Reed!” 

Olenna: “Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know. Oh, God love you.”

Fat Walda: “ Watch where you're going, fat-ass! “

Robb: “ Was I the new queen bee? “

Sam: “Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10!”

Mance raider: “Hell, no! I did not leave the Southside for this!“

Dany: “look, I am a queen!”

Jon, holding up broken piece of crown: “As am I”

Tywin: “I will keep you here all night.” “actually we can’t keep them past four” “I will keep you here till four.”

Arya: “ And that's how Arya Stark died. No, I'm totally kidding. “

Walder Frey: “OK, yeah, I've got an apology. So I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced his that it would be fun to mess up Robb Stark's life. So I had him pretend to be friends with Robb, and then he would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Robb said. And we gave him these candy bar things that would make him gain weight, and we turned his best friends against him. And then... Oh, yeah, Roose… You know my friend Roose. He tortured Robb's boyfriend and then convinced him to break up with him. Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash. God! I am so sorry, Robb. Really, I don't know why I did it. I guess it's probably because I've got a big GAY crush on you. Suck on that!

[in-tua-deep]

I would love to see Delores punch the Handler! Your ideas for the pride and prejudice AU are inspired! What role would the rest of the family play in this story? I just love your blog so much!

oh i am very down to detail out this au and make it one big post

SO you have Eudora Patch playing the role of our lovely Elizabeth Bennet, and Diego playing the role of Mr. Darcy, protective idiot who puts his foot in his mouth frequently. Eudora’s parents died when she was little and she was raised by her godparents alongside Dave and Dolores, who she considers her siblings - but Dave is her best friend in the world

Dave is kind of ridiculous and more than a little gay and he’s a soldier home on leave, and when Netherfield is occupied and he goes to the ball he falls head over heels for the biggest dumbass in the known universe, Klaus. So Dave is Jane Bennet and Klaus gets to be Mr. Bingley!!

Then Mr. Bingley has two sister and a brother-in-law in the book so that’s just going to be Allison, Vanya, and Luther hanging around. Allison takes Diego’s side after the absolute disaster that was Vanya falling for Leonard (ew) and agrees to help convince Klaus to leave Netherfield with Diego, so she’s taking the role of Caroline Bingley except less bitchy

So the reason the kids have all returned to Netherfield is because their father just died and they’re dividing up the estate etc. etc. and the reason Ben isn’t there is because he’s up in London dealing with the financial stuff because let’s be real there are two (2) people in the family who have the head for finances and one of them is thirteen (and also I needed a reason for Ben to not be there for the falling in love part because he would yeet Diego and Allison’s attitudes out the window)

and then there’s Five who still lives at Netherfield and is best friends with Dolores but they’re secret friends, or at least they were because now the old man is dead he can associate with whoever the fuck he wants wheyy BUT some of the debate over inheritance is also about who gets custody of Five

which is a long way of saying that Five has a vested interest in trying to get at least one of his siblings to stay in Netherfield so he can continue being bros with Dolores and doing whatever he wants because he doesn’t want to have to move

Dolores?? Sort of gets the younger Bennet sisters roles? Sort of Lydia Bennet because she does run away briefly but YEAH she’s Dave’s little sister and is mute and Five is her best friend and she taught him sign language but honestly half the time it’s like they’re reading one another’s minds anyway?? 

They met when they were younger and Five ran away and Dolores found him and was like ?? well okay and proceeded to smuggle him food and hide him in the shed for a day and a half before he ended up going back because he did miss his siblings but the two decided they had bonded and Five frequently secretly exited the manor to meet up with her and play

Dave knows that Five exists abstractly but just knows him as some kid in town that Dolores plays with so he does not put two and two together until later shenanigans when he realizes his little sister’s best friend is the love of his life’s little brother who can pull some strings

anyway

so Wickham’s role goes to the Handler who ?? tried to kidnap Five or something when he was younger? Or rather, she convinced Five that he wanted to go with her because she pretended to be his friend and Five ended up escaping, which was actually the whole ‘running away’ thing where he met Dolores (except he never told Dolores because that Handler highkey scares him and he’s actually kind of ashamed the Handler tricked him to begin with)

so yes obviously someone the whole family despises but is very manipulative and probably weaves some tragedy for Patch to sympathize with and when Diego sees them associating he’s even ruder to her and there’s that whole misunderstanding going on

So Patch is happy for Dave, who is in love, and then Klaus ends up being convinced to go to London to chill with Ben who is his favourite brother because Diego Doesn’t Trust Like That and Patch gets super pissed off about it because Dave is heartbroken and mooning around sadly and being depressed and how DARE Diego do this to her best friend/brother?? absolute fucker

meanwhile Diego is wrestling with his attraction to Patch and making every single wrong step in the book

Five and Dolores plot in the background and are up to shenanigans which involve trying to set their idiot siblings up in situations where they are forced to interact (Dolores is actually invested while Five is sort of just throwing Dave and Patch at his siblings to see what sticks because he really doesn’t want to have to leave Netherfield and Dolores) while Dolores ALSO tries to figure out The Mystery of The Handler because Five goes super pale when he sees her in town but won’t tell her why and no Patch she doesn’t care that you think the Handler is actually good there’s something weird going on here and she’s going to find it out

I’m not usually one for human Dolores aus but I’m delighted by the idea of this child who loves her pretty dresses and things that glitter but who also learned how to sew just so she could add pockets to all of her pretty dresses so she could put things like frogs in them for when she wants to Do Crime with her bestie. Dolores is 80% of the brains behind the operation while Five is 70% the ‘sneaky little shit who can get into just about anywhere’ part. He was probably the one who taught her how to pick a lock. And no, Dave does not know that Five is teaching his baby sister Crime Skills.

but yes Allison is probably still married to Patrick in this au and is kind of angry/irritated because they fight quite a bit which is probably why she was willing to project some of those bad feelings on Klaus and Dave as well

what even other character are there in Pride and Prejudice idk

Grace exists but she’s the kids stepmother or something and for whatever reason she isn’t actually a part of the inheritance?? She’s just sort of in the background waltzing around fussing over her kids and also reminding Diego to be nicer and is probably the catalyst of Diego realizing what an utter shit he’s been after Patch’s big old “Fuck you I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on the face of the planet and also fuck you again for good measure” speech

Vanya just really wants to be able to play cards in peace and stop being dragged into whatever the fuck is going on now but she 100% takes Klaus’s side when everything is dragged up and is like “C’mon guys for real just let Klaus go back to Netherfield and see what happens, Dave seems really nice. And also fuck you for comparing every person we want to date to my shitty ex, like, we GET it, I made some questionable choices.”

Luther is doing his level best to ignore the family drama going on and actually try and do what they came for which is, you know, dividing up the estate and figuring out custody and etc. etc. but every time he brings things up his siblings blow him off because they’re all too focused on their personal lives and drama and the love stories unfolding and Luther is suffering because it’s like herding cats but somehow worse

Dolores finds out about the Handler and decides she’s ready to throw down and runs off to pick a goddamn fight because how fucking DARE and Patch doesn’t know where she IS and her and Dave are STRESSED and Diego hears about it and ends up going and fetching this child and bringing her back which makes Patch respect him or something idk

but at the end, Dave and Klaus get together and they’re cute as FUCK. Patch and Diego get together and their terrible childish rivalry evolves into a terrible childish romance which evolves into what is sure to become a terrible childish marriage. Allison and Patrick actually speak to each other and sort out some of their issues. Ben comes back into this clusterfuck of a situation like that one pizza fire gif and ends up sorting everyone out while nursing a migraine. Vanya gets some god damn peace and quiet. Luther finally manages to sort out the estates. Dolores and Five get matching best friend necklaces or something because they’re kids and high five the fuck out of one another at the wedding because hell yeah all their plans worked (even though like 90% of their plans backfired, accomplished nothing, or were just hilarious but not actually successful)

and yeah that’s the pride and prejudice au

[benmitchellee]

Family of Five, One Child.

Lexi would love Callum, Ben was sure of it. She already kind of knew him anyway. Ben was just nervous to introduce his little girl to the man who’d changed his feelings on love as his boyfriend. She knew daddy had friends who were guys and understood he wasn’t into women but he’d never fully involved a guy into her life. She was the most important thing in his life and he didn’t want to upset her.

He’d planned out how he’d do it. He’d made them food with the help of Bobby, whilst Lexi was at swimming with Lola, and invited Callum around to meet her properly.

‘She knows me Ben, she saw me the other day when I left for work’ was Callum’s retaliation. And Ben got it. She had done. But she’d also seen other men leave early hours in the morning , why would she think Callum was any different.

“I know babe, but just humour me. I wanna tell her about us” Ben said, glad the phone call hid his blush. “That’s if that’s okay with you...I’ve cooked pasta and I thought it’d be a good time for her to get to know you as Daddy’s boyfriend rather than just a friend”

“Umm, yeah, alright then, I’d love to. Honoured you’d even want her to see me like that. I’ll be over in five, time for a cuddle and a chat that way” Callum said, his adoration for Ben clear in his voice as he slipped on his shoes, phone wedged between his ear and his neck.

“That’s what you are, soft lad” Ben said softly, laugh bordering on a childlike giggle, although if you mentioned it he’d straight up deny it. “Okay Cal, see ya” he said, no need for pleasantries, he had to make sure he was presentable for his man.

Not even 2 minutes later there was a knock at the back door. Ben jumped from his seat at the table, straightening out his shirt. He opened the door only to be lunged at by Callum, engulfed in his arms as his boyfriend passionately kissed him. It felt like an eternity before Callum pulled away, breathless and smiling like a Cheshire Cat.

“Mmm, nice, what’s that for then?” Ben said, his usual lustful gaze pinned on Callum. He found him utterly intoxicating, even a month into dating. He left his arms where they’d naturally ended up when Callum grabbed him, draped over his shoulders, hands at the nape of his neck in his hair.

“Just like being able to do it. Best feeling in the world besides you know what” Callum said, feigning confidence. Ben made him feel as though he could act however he wanted. “Plus, I’m just happy you like me enough to introduce me to Lex”

“Don’t be soft, y’know I like you. Lexi will love ya, gonna be a proper mad family” Ben giggled, kissing Callum again.

“I hope she does” Callum muttered to himself as Ben pulled away to take the plates into the living room and put them on the table. Callum panicked as he heard the front door open.

Daddy!!! I got a medal for fastest swimmer” he heard her scream as she ran into the living room to show Ben.

“Wow baby, that’s amazing! Thanks for bringing her back Lo, and I’ll see ya later. Have fun with Jay” he said, giving Lola a peck on the cheek as he picked Lexi up.

“Don’t be daft, thanks for having her whilst I go out, two birds, one stone and all that. Good luck” Lola smirked, seeing Callum lurking in the kitchen, going unnoticed by Lexi. “Be good Lexi, I’ll be home later but I want you in bed by then”

“Okay mummy, love you” Lexi shouted as Lola left. “Daddy, why’s he standing in the kitchen” she said pointedly as she turned and saw Callum standing there awkwardly.

“Hi Lexi, I’ve just come to see your dad” Callum said, smiling. He wanted to make her feel comfortable.

“He’s come to eat dinner with us, is that alright?” He said nervously, coaxing Callum to stand with him.

“Yep, is he your new boyfriend daddy?” She asked, nonchalantly.

“Umm, yeah babe, is that okay with you. That’s why he’s here, I wanted you to meet him and check him out” he said nervously, half joking. He knew his little girl was protective of him.

“Okay, he’s nice daddy, better than the guys in Liverpool” she murmured, gripping on to her dad.

“Oh yeah? Tell me about it later?” Callum said, poking Ben in the arm.

“Fine” Ben smirked, popping Lexi down. Right, go wash your hands young lady, dinners ready” he said, patting her wet head “and get some bobbles, I’ll put your hair up”.

She ran upstairs in a flurry of song and glitter. As soon as she was gone Ben pulled Callum into a hug, leaning up to kiss him.

“That went well, better than I thought” He giggled, pulling away to fetch the food in.

“Yeah, so far, so good” Callum smiled. It wasn’t as bad as he’d expected but then again it would be stupid to fear the wrath of a child. Nevertheless he was glad she was so sweet about it. Not all children would understand their daddy having a boyfriend, let alone new ones all the time.

She bounded back down the stairs, bobbles in her little hands. Ben had played up the food and was waiting to quickly sort her hair before they ate.

“Come here then Lex, let me do you a ponytail” he said, smiling as he leant on the arm of the armchair.

“But daddy, I want plaits, mummy always does plaits” she pouted, unhappy with her dads choice.

“I can’t do plaits babe, so just have a pony for now” he sighed

“But dad, I don’t want it like that!” She said grumpily.

“I-I can do plaits Ben, if that’s okay with you Lexi”

“Yay, thank you Cal” she giggled, running over to where he was perched awkwardly on the sofa.

He sat her down and did to slim braids, his long fingers making it easy. She giggled and told him animal facts as he worked and he answered her enthusiastically every time she asked him if he knew something. Ben watched on, smiling in awe as his daughter and his boyfriend got on like a house on fire.

“Thank you Cally, they’re the best. You’re the best boyfriend daddy’s ever had” she beamed, hugging him excitedly.

“Yeah, thanks Cal, didn’t know you could do hair. Gonna get you a job in the salon” Ben smirked, watching Callum blush as Lexi zoomed off to sit at her seat, tucking into the pasta that had been waiting far too long.

They both got up, joining her at the table where she’d already made a mess as she ate hurriedly.

“Used to do Whits hair so it’s just stuck I guess” he blushed “anyway I didn’t know you could cook either. this looks nice babe, thank you”

“Yeah thank you daddy”

“No problem you two. Bobby cooked most of it, I’m no Gordon Ramsey” he smirked his usual cocky smile, yet it was somehow softened by the loving look in his eyes as he looked at the two most important people in his life.

They ate their food, laughter and conversation making the room come alive with the warmest atmosphere it’d known since Lucy had died.

They stayed up and chatted, watched tv and all cuddled up until well past Lexi’s bedtime. This was just the start of their own little family and already Callum settled in perfectly.

“Daddy I’m tired, can Callum read me a story?” She yawned, standing up, rubbing her eyes.

“If he wants to baby I don’t see why not” he said, picking her up. “You don’t have to babe, I’ll take her up and you can wait here if you want” he said. He didn’t want to pressure Callum to feel like he had to do the whole family thing yet. He didn’t sign up to be an extra dad to Lexi.

“Course I can, lead the way darlings” he chuckled.

They got upstairs and Ben got her ready for bed whilst Callum found a story to read. She kissed her daddy goodnight and told him to leave. Who was he to argue with his princess. He went to his room, changing into pyjamas and glasses before getting Callum the pyjamas he’d left behind out, washed and folded to be worn again.

When he came back his heart melted as he stood outside the door, the gap allowing him to see Callum reading to her as she lay there, looking up with a soft smile. He finished the book and placed it on the floor.

“I’ve really enjoyed tonight Lexi, thank you for letting me stay with you and your dad”

“Thank you for making daddy happy. He needs someone to make him smile. It’s very tiring doing it on my own” she said matter-of-factly, rubbing her eyes.

Ben has tears as he listened. She was just so sweet. And his boyfriend was the best. He was sure he’d struck gold with him.

“Well I’m sure it is Lexi, I’m gonna go now and let you sleep, night darling” Callum chuckled, kissing her head.

“Night Cal, give daddy another kiss from me” she giggled.

“I will” he replied. Ben rushes downstairs, hoping not to be seen.

Callum shut the door, blowing her a kiss. He stood there for a second composing himself. This was his life now. An amazing boyfriend who made him feel like he was someone special, friends who treated him just as they had before, a best friend in Whitney, the woman he loved just not enough, and Lexi. His whole heart was full and he tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall. He had a family. Something he’d never had. He meant something to so many people. And something that had always scared him about being gay suddenly didn’t matter. He was scared he’d never have children and yet now he did. She wasn’t his, he knew that, but Lexi filled that hole in his heart where his child should be. She already felt like a daughter to him. He had his family now, and it was amazing.

He fixed his shirt and wiped his eyes, heading down the stairs to see Ben on the sofa, pyjamas and glasses on with fluffy hair. “Hello sexy” Callum said, giggling as he walked over. This was his favourite Ben, all soft and gentle.

“Hey, is she asleep?” He said as Callum sat down next to him.

“Yeah, you’d know that though, nosy” he chuckled, leaning in to hug him.

“Sorry, couldn’t help but watch you, it was lovely. She loves you baby and you’re so good with her” he blushed, kissing Callum’s head.

“Yeah, she’s a good girl, a credit to you and Lola”

“Mainly Lo to be honest babe but thank you. I love her so much. She’s one of the best things to happen to me”

“I can see why. I already love her and I hardly know her”

“Give it a few months and she’ll be calling you dad” Ben giggled but then suddenly stopped. “Sorry. That’s a bit forward. Ignore me”

“No, don’t be daft. I’d be honoured. She can call me whatever she wants, I’m just glad to have you both. I’m in this for the long run so yeah, I’d love nothing more than to be her dad. Thank you babe. Thank you for not only being the best thing in my life but for also giving me Lexi, I’ve never felt more at home” he said honestly, snuggling into his boyfriend.

“You are at home Callum. Me and Lexi are the lucky ones. Guys like you don’t end up with guys like me” he smiled “we’re both so lucky.”

“You’re a good guy Ben and I’m glad I am with you” he said, kissing him.

“Suppose I’m alright” he remarked, murmuring against his lips.

“Shut up” Callum said back, smirking and nibbling his boyfriends lip as they kissed.

This was bliss. He never wanted it to end.

——

And it didn’t 6 months later and they’d move into Callum’s flat together, Stuart and Rainie having moved into Bens old room at Ians. Jay and Lola also lived with Billy, making sharing Lexi between them really easy. Lexi had her own room at both of the places and absolutely loved it.

Ben had reluctantly let her have Paul’s old room, the memories making it hard, but he knew Paul would be happy for them.

Callum loves their little family; him, Ben, Lexi, Jay, Lola, Stuart and Bens parents. Kathy was the most supportive mother in the world and Callum adored her just as she adored him. He finally had a mother to look up to.

As for Phil, he was most likely their biggest supporter. After finding out about his wife’s betrayal, he relied heavily on his son and in turn Callum. As a thanks he’d sold some old bits of Sharon’s that he’d bought her, earrings, shoes, bags, the lot, and gave the money to the boys as a housewarming gift alongside a bottle of champagne and the keys to the vintage car Ben had been eyeing up since he was twelve.

Everything was going well. And then she said it.

Callum was helping out on their nightly routine. Lexi was staying over and had gotten herself ready for bed whilst her dad got her milk and cookies and Callum found a book to read. He positioned himself on the bed and read the book. The same enthusiasm he had had the first 10 times he had read it.

As he finished the story he noticed Ben had been lurking in the door way ever since he’d gave Lexi her supper.

“You know you don’t have to spy babe, I know you like the stories. Just a shame you got relegated as storyteller” Callum said, teasing as Ben came in the room, sitting beside him.

“Yeah yeah, I was just admiring your voices. Goldilocks is a bit off” he laughed.

“Well I like how you read them, thank you daddy” Lexi said, tiredly.

“I didn’t do anything darling” Ben said confused.

“I was talking to daddy Callum, daddy” she said, looking sheepish after her confession. “I’m sorry daddy, I didn’t mean to upset you” she said noticing Ben had tears.

“I’m not upset baby, I’m happy. I’m so happy that you love Callum, we both wanted to let you decide when or even if you called him daddy”

“Well I love him daddy, he may not be my real daddy but neither is daddy Jay. Mummy says I’m really lucky cos I have three daddy’s and a really cool mum”

“Well she’s not wrong Lex, you have an amazing mum and an amazing dad, I’m honoured to be one of your extra dads, and I love you too” Callum said crying, reaching out to hug her. “Now get some sleep, we’re going to the fair tomorrow”

“Okay, night daddies” she said, arms reaching out for her dads.

“Night Lex” they said in unison, hugging her before leaving quietly as she settled down. They silently got a beer and sat down on the sofa, the weight of what just happened playing heavily on both their minds as the smiled to themselves.

“I love you, you big softy” Callum blushed, looking down at his beer. “Wait till I tell Phil about your little soft lad routine. Your hard man reputation will be out the window” he giggled, leaning over to kiss him.

“I don’t care” Ben said, pulling away momentarily “I’d rather be a soft lad for you than a hard man on my own any day”

“Stupid” Callum giggled, blushing harder “love you though”

“Love you too” Ben murmured. And he did. For the first time since Paul he was in love. He didn’t believe in happy endings, but if he did this would be it.

Fin.

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

Hi, why did Jim not like Strickler dating Barbara? With Trollhunter!Claire how would things play out in Unbecoming? If the show had kept AAARRRGGHH female, how would this affect it, both in the show and meta? And finally, you mentioned the gay subtext with Blinky and AAARRRGGHH, why didn't they make them a couple? I mean, ever since Korra and Steven Universe, LBGT representation has skyrocketed, I don't want to come across as a SJW, but I just wish that the show took more chances with itself.

Okay, well, I should preface my analysis of Jim’s reaction to Stricklake by saying my biological parents are happily married to each other, so I have never personally been in the position of ‘child whose single parent has started dating again’; and I only knew two kids in high school whose parents I knew were divorced, and they didn’t talk to me about their parents’ love lives; so I can only infer based primarily on media stereotypes.

There are a few reasons portrayed in media as to why the child of a single parent reacts negatively to that parent getting a new love interest.

We can rule out Jim hoping his biological parents will get back together, because James Senior is a complete nonentity in their lives. Jim only mentions him four times, all in the first season - twice to Barbara (“You remember when I was old enough to ask about Dad? Remember what you told me? You said, we just have to take care of each other. And that’s all I’m doing, Mom.”) (“Shrimp cakes? Gosh, I haven’t had those since … since …” “Dad made them for us?” “I didn’t think you were old enough to remember.” ”Oh, I remember enough. I remember how his beard used to scratch my face when he hugged me. How he used to make you laugh. But most of all how much he hurt you when he left.”), once to Bular (“You wanna see Dad. I get it, trust me. But we don’t always get what we want.”), and once to Blinky (“You know I don’t care about my father!”)

There is, popularly shown in media and I’m sure it comes up in real life too, a dissonance in a kid’s mind between their school and home lives, which makes it uncomfortable to have their parents and teachers interacting, exacerbated if the student is having some kind of difficulty at school. Jim reacts negatively to Barbara’s interest in Strickler before he even knows Strickler is a Changeling. (“So. Mr Strickler. He seems very nice. Is he single?” “What?! I don’t know!”) (“Did you seriously just ask my teacher out on a date?!”)

Jim assumes something like a caregiver role at home, taking care of food prep and household maintenance. The introduction of a new person into their lives could set off a reflexive response of, “No, we don’t need you, we’ve been managing just fine on our own.”

Jim’s also very protective. The precedent of Barbara having a relationship that ended badly means Jim might be worrying from the start that a new relationship will also end in her getting hurt.

Any change, positive or negative, creates a stress response while a person readjusts. Having his mother start dating again would be a big change for Jim. (We see no indication she’s done so in the past ten years, although it’s possible she did and the relationships just never got serious enough for her to introduce the person to her son, and it’s also possible that it just never came up because Barbara’s past relationships weren’t relevant in a show focusing primarily on Jim being the Trollhunter.)

And then, of course, Jim finds out Strickler is a Changeling, and thereafter views all of Strickler’s interactions with Barbara through the lens of “he’s trying to get to me and using my mom as both a weapon and a shield”, which is accurate for quite some time, and of course is going to make Jim angry and scared, and not going to warm him to the idea of them being together. 

An Unbecoming with Trollhunter!Claire raises the question of whether Not Enrique would still take Enrique’s place.

In canon, Enrique getting swapped was indirectly Jim and Toby’s fault. Because they followed the goblins to the museum, they saw Nomura in troll form, and she revealed the Fetch and suggested bringing in a new Changeling to convince Bular not to kill her after her identity was compromised.

Therefore, a solid argument can be made that in the show’s version of Unbecoming, Enrique was never kidnapped. We never do find out for sure.

If the swap happens because of something Claire did as Trollhunter, Enrique would probably never get switched in the Unbecoming episode, which would be one of the reasons Claire thought at first that it was a better world. (Though she might eventually realize she misses Not Enrique.)

On the other hand, if the initial Trollhunter!Claire timeline was one in which Not Enrique were already planted in the Nuñez house before Claire became the Trollhunter, then Claire’s dynamic with Not Enrique just got a lot more complicated. She has memories of growing to see Not Enrique as an adopted sibling, which he no longer shares, and she has memories of saving Original Enrique from the Darklands, which she is no longer in a position to be able to do.

I figure the ‘failed attempt to thwart the reopening of Killahead Bridge’ thing would happen, because I interpret Unbecoming as a worst-case-scenario vision crafted by Merlin to make the Trollhunter off-kilter and desperate enough to do what the wizard wants without question, but I see this backfiring when he reveals himself because Claire would be furious.

Either way, time reverts itself to how it was before at the end of the episode.

Honestly I don’t see it affecting the overall plot of the show much if AAARRRGGHH had remained Johanna, especially if the writers still went with the show backstory of “raised by Gumm-Gumms and then deserted” rather than the book backstory of “one of the leaders of the armies against Gunmar”.

She would probably have stayed a pacifist for the first half of Season One, to force Jim to have to learn how to fight instead of just hiding behind his big scary troll friend.

We might’ve actually seen cats in the Domzalski house, if the gag was kept that they are drawn to Johanna and love sleeping on her fur, to their peril; but all the cats-being-eaten scenes were just barely off-camera in the show, so maybe not.

I personally would’ve had a less negative reaction to Jlaire, because Claire wouldn’t be the only girl in the core cast, although I might still feel like it was an “Obligatory Het Romance So The Main Character Looks Straight (Or If He’s Bi It Never Comes Up In The Show)”.

BlinkAAARRRGGHH would probably be just as popular as it is now, but if the ship still wasn’t canon (or even if it was), there would also be a number of people defending keeping Blinky and Johanna ‘just friends’ because of the under-representation of close male-female friendships in popular media.

The fandom would probably also create the sapphic ship of Johanna/Nomura, based on how they’re both kickass fighter ladies who used to serve Gunmar and then deserted. (Johannomura? Nomuranna, despite the different number of ‘N’s, sounds like it refers to Nomura/Morgana, though I think that would called Nomurgana, and Jomura could be misinterpreted as the ‘J’ being for Jim, which … no. Johannomura is clearest. Maybe Johmura if that’s too long.)

I don’t know why BlinkAAARRRGGHH was never made official, but I can make some guesses.

Option 1: they didn’t know how popular the show would be and didn’t want to lose potential popularity due to censors not allowing it to air in certain countries or conservative parents not letting their kids watch it.

Option 2: because Blinky and Johanna genuinely did seem to be Not Romantically Involved in the novel, the writers didn’t realize that the adjustments and expansions made to the characters and their interactions made them look like they were together, and so the romantic subtext was unintentional.

Option 3: it was presumed that it went without saying, like how no one in the show goes out of their way to point out Claire’s parents are married to each other. (Okay, except Jim does address Claire’s parents as “Mr and Mrs Nuñez” twice, so that comparison doesn’t quite work.) This is probably the interpretation that will ‘age best’ as LGBT+ rep in children’s-marketed media becomes more prevalent and accepted.

Option 4: the writers have a different love interest planned for one or both of the characters, to be introduced in Wizards, and the romantic subtext between AAARRRGGHH and Blinky was either unintentional or meant to be one-sided.

Option 5: they aren’t together yet, and the script is building up to them becoming an official couple in Wizards.

[otome-reviews]

Love Brings You Home: Arata Yuki Review [SPOILERS]

The free route promo that Love 365 ran a while back on Arata was my first exposure to Love Brings You Home, and let me tell you, the premise is absolutely bonkers. I am impressed with Voltage’s ability to come up with romance in the craziest of situations. 😂

Let’s set the scene: MC is an overworked toy designer, living alone in her deceased grandma’s home. One day she randomly encounters Arata, who’s on single-minded quest for a piano. MC’s piano, it turns out: a second-hand instrument that Arata owned when he was a child. When MC sensibly refuses to sell the piano to some random stranger, the guy decides he’s going to live with the piano (and MC) instead (!!). But alas, by the time MC gets the balls to call the cops on this weirdo, he conveniently saves MC from a prowler who’s been targeting single women, and that’s how MC ends up allowing Arata to stay, rent-free, in her house in exchange for becoming her “bodyguard.”

Arata is definitely a 10 on the tsun scale, lol. He’s grumpy, and antisocial. And his nickname for MC is Medusa (due to bad hair)! Oh, and this is one of the first things he says to MC: “I wouldn’t touch you even if somebody paid me to.” That turns out well 😂 Anyways, rudeness and presumption aside, Arata also happens to be the perfect roommate, and something of a dream house husband. He makes three home-made meals a day for a MC who’s used to surviving on instant food. He allows himself to get (grumpily) dragged on weird “fetch quests” that MC’s terrible, incompetent boss sends her on. And he plays piano every night that MC is able to enjoy, with professional-level quality!

...Which is funny, because, surprise surprise, Arata is a super famous professional pianist, one who’s been blackballed by the industry after justifiably punching a producer in defense of his ex (an ex who -spoilers- drops him in favor of sleeping her way to the top after basically cradle robbing him, mind you!). Poor guy’s been unable to play the piano properly ever since. It’s a really shitty situation, and under those circumstances it’s easy to see why he became so obsessed over a childhood piano. I do find it hilarious that MC never bothered to Google this stranger who decided to live in her home. If she had, 90% of this backstory could’ve been explained instantly, instead of being revealed to her in pieces, lmao.

Anyway, the bulk of the plot in this story does revolve around MC and Arata’s careers. MC has literally the worst boss in the world, and Arata’s assistance (and food) helps her navigate that annoying road block. Meanwhile, MC is the one who unintentionally gives Arata the inspiration and motivation to pursue a comeback. Which brings me to the one thing that really frustrated me about this route: the romantic conflict. MC’s jealousy and insecurity keep her from supporting Arata’s comeback aspirations, and she ends up pushing him away, repeatedly. And Arata more or less torpedoes his comeback opportunity in favor of catering to MC’s insecurities, and it’s just...asdfalksjfl! I get it, now there’s room for a sequel, but as someone who could never be with a partner who is unsupportive of my career ambitions, it was super painful to read, on behalf of Arata.

At the end of the day, I have to admit this route did a fantastic job of selling Arata as a love interest. Like I said earlier, he’s a dream house-husband! His grumpiness is hilarious and not insulting, and he is caring and protective. Also pianists are sexy. When MC isn’t being stupidly jealous, she’s delightfully sassy, and I really enjoyed reading this couple’s relationship development. That said, the final quarter of the route was seriously frustrating imho. In any case, if you like your tsuns, and if you’re looking for something more low-key (but hilarious), I do still recommend this guy. As a character, Arata will not disappoint!

Choice quotes:

“Ooh, look at those cold eyes. Don’t worry honey, that’s just the way I like it!” ​- Megumi, the gay bartender and best side character ever

“Plants...pets...hot guys... they’re all the same.” - also Megumi

MC: “Why don’t you just look at the fish and enjoy yourself?” A: “I’ll stick to eating them.” 😂

Personality: 9/10. I don’t even usually like tsuns all that much generally, but Arata is unusually fantastic! His warm side is absolutely amazing, and his tsun side is hysterical and doesn’t cross any lines. As MC notes, Arata is basically a grumpy cat :) Bonus points for being the complete opposite of wishy washy once he decides MC is the one. (ALSO HE COOKS!)

Appearance: 8/10. Somehow Arata manages to look like a cat and still look hot. 😂Also he def. looks sexy with his hair pushed back, just like that guy from Mean Girls. ^_^

MC: 5/10. I really REALLY loved how funny and sassy MC was - she serves as the perfect foil for Arata in that regard! But I hated her insecurities and attempts to push Arata away (especially after the poor guy already confessed!).

Plot/Payoff: 5/10. It’s not exactly a heart-pounding exciting adventure, which is fine, but I really wasn’t a fan of the romantic conflict.

Personal enjoyment: 6.5/10. Absolutely amazing, relatable love interest whose awesomeness is hampered by MC’s annoying actions. This route could’ve been utterly fantastic if the conflict were external as opposed to the unneeded relationship angst we were given!

[argyle-s]

The Shape of Things to Come Chapter 3/?

Rating:  Mature

Read at Ao3

Start at the Beginning

After a year in the past, Kara makes her public debut as Supergirl.

Chapter 3 - Rebirth

Notes:

In this story, Kara will occasionally lapse into Kryptonian. The first instance of this happens in this chapter. The Kryptonian in this story is taken from Doyle Kryptonian which is where most of the Kryptonian used on the show is taken from. Translation was done using the resources at Kryptonian.info, and I suspect the quality of the translation will vary widely.

In the earlier drafts of this story, I either didn’t use Kryptonian, or I wrote the sections in English and set it off using special formatting, but I was unhappy with that, so I went back and rewrote them in Kryptonian. The problem with that is, the Kryptonian sections were written out of order and my skill with the language (such as it is) has improved considerably over time.

I’ve tried to go back and fix any errors, but:

1). The dictionary is fragmentary and I’ve had to work around holes in the language, or when I couldn’t, construct new words with guesswork.

2). I am absolute shit at learning languages that are whole and functional, so one that only exists in fragmentary form is even worse.

Any errors are mine. Any weirdness with the language and phrasing is either me being an idiot, or an artifact of my take on how Kryptonian culture and religious beliefs would influence speech patterns. My Krypton sticks as close as possible to the show, but I have made huge changes from comic canon to make Krypton fit more closely with our current understanding of what the reality of life would be on a planet in order around a red sun.

Most translations are fairly literal translations, though the order of the words is different, because English uses a Subject Verb Object sentence structure, whole Kryptonian uses Verb Subject Object sentence structure (example: The sentence "Kara punched Maxwell Lord" would be "Punched Kara Maxwell Lord" in a Verb Subject Object language like Kryptonian). In some cases however, the meaning in English can vary from the literal translation. In those cases, I will give the literal translation first, followed by the Semantic Translation.

Two final notes.

1). I take it as a given that Alex speaks Kryptonian, because she grew up with Kara, and she spent two years fiddling with Kara's pod and the hologram, and anything in canon that says she doesn't will be cheerfully ignored because it's bullshit.

2). Kara *does* know how to swear, but she’s only good at it in Kryptonian.

Update: This story has now been betaed by @ifourmindbeso.  Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

Kara Danvers’ Apartment. National City. Earth 38, October 8th, 2015

(One Year Later)

Kara opened the door to find a very annoyed J’onn standing there, glaring at her.

“Good morning,” she said brightly, waving him in.  She walked over to the kitchen and pulled down a package of Chocos and a glass, which she filled with milk.

“You do realize the DEO is not eHarmony for aliens, right?”

“Compatible Partners,” Kara said as she took a bite out of her pre-breakfast bagel.

“What?” J’onn asked as he picked up a cookie and dunked it in the milk.

“eHarmony only does listings for straight people.  Compatible Partners is the one for Gays and Lesbians.  Besides, I use Chemistry.com.”

“I don’t care if you used gayalienbootycall.com.  This arrangement is not so you can vet your dates.”

Kara sighed.  “J’onn, I am not *dating* Maggie Sawyer.  We’re just friends.”

“Oh, so you aren’t meeting her tonight at some place called Girlbar?”

“Well, yes, I am.  But I don’t date women who are still heartbroken over their ex-girlfriends.  Think of it as recruitment.”

J’onn held up his finger and started to say something, then stopped.  He started to speak again, but stopped, before finally just shaking his head.  “First you wanted me to do a full security clearance on that little computer nerd.  Now this.  How does any of this help us with your friends from Fort Rozz?”

“Winn helps because Winn is one of only six or seven hackers on the planet that can go toe to toe with a Coluan and come out on top, and unless you’ve suddenly managed to convince Victor Stone, Felicity Smoak or Rabiah Zinoman to sign up, we don’t have a lot of other options, because Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon are serious no-fly zones and the other two people who could potentially pull this off are definitely not on our side.  Maggie Sawyer, on the other hand, will give us an in with NCPD, which is going to be incredibly useful when it comes time to lay the smack down on Maxwell Lord.”

“You know, you keep talking like you’re in this fight, but so far, all you’ve done is sit on the sidelines and feed us a few names.”

“You’re mad about the armored car last night,” Kara said.

“You’re damn right I am.  Two agents in the hospital.  One of them may never walk again.  You could have stopped it, but instead, you’re fetching coffee for some-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, J’onn,” Kara said.  “You know nothing about Cat Grant and much as I like you, if you insult her in front of me, I will put your green ass through a wall.”

J’onn sighed and held up his hands in surrender.  “Fine.”

“Besides, you’re every bit as capable as I am, and you didn’t do anything to stop it either.  We both have our reasons for keeping secrets.”

“Yeah, but your case is a little different.”

“It is,” Kara said.  “But it would expose me while the leader of the escapees was away.  If that happened, there would have been open war in the streets.”

J’onn sat down on one of her stools and picked up another Choco, dunking it in his milk.  “You keep talking about this leader like you know him.”

“Her,” Kara said.

J’onn froze, with the cookie half way to his mouth.  His eyes narrowed.  “You do know her.”

“I do.  General Astra In-Ze, War Leader of the House of Ze, Daughter of In-Ze and Myara Bar-Ul, and twin sister of Alura Zor-El.”

“She’s your aunt?” J’onn said.

“Yes,” Kara said.

J’onn popped the cookie in his mouth and started chewing, and Kara watched the emotions playing over his face.

“I didn’t tell you until now, because I thought you might decide I was a security risk.”

“Then why tell me now?”

“Because this is the last thing I need from you before I openly declare myself.  Once Alex is safely out of the way in Geneva, little Kara Danvers is going to take the first of Astra’s heavy hitters off the board.”

“You have a plan?” J’onn asked.

“I do.  You’re probably not going to like it, but I do.”

He reached up and started rubbing his temples.  “What else is new?”

***

She smiled at Winn as he approached her with his tablet, walking beside her on her way to her desk.

“Did you see this?  There was an armored car robbery last night.  Now, there were no witnesses except this homeless guy who swears the perp had horns.”

“Thanks,” Kara said as she excepted a shipping tube from Brad with the proof of the new bus stop poster Cat needed to approve.

“Like, on his head,” Winn said as she turned back to him.

“Well, that’s usually where horns go,” she said.  “But you’re sure it wasn’t just a prominent brow ridge?

“Come on Kara, it’s an alien.”

“I don’t know, Winn.  I mean, Superman’s an alien, right?  He seems to look pretty normal.”

“Well, how do we know?  He could be hiding anything under that suit.”

Kara shrugged.  “Isn’t James Olsen taking over the art department today?  Maybe we could ask him.  They seem close.”

“Now you’re just making fun me.”

Kara shook her head as she sat down.  “Never.  Well, except for when you lose at Small World.”

“Hey, your sister cheats.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Fine,” Winn said, as he went over to his desk and sat down, pointedly turning his back to her, which gave her just enough privacy to zap Cat’s Latte with her heat vision.  “I won’t invite you to go see ‘The Martian’ with me then.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah,” he said, turning back to her.

“I can’t,” Kara said.  “Maggie and I are going to Girlbar.”

“Really?” Winn said, a grin on his face.  “When are you gonna introduce me to your hot cop girlfriend?”

“Winn,” Kara sighed.  “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Winn shook his head.  “I never should have started you on Rizzoli & Isles.  Now I’m destined to lose my gaming buddy to some tall, dark Italian Detective with a smoky voice.”

Kara laughed.  “I told you I’m into blondes, but the medical examiner thing is just icky.  Besides, Maggie is Latina and shorter than you are, which is saying something since I’m pretty sure you get carded going into PG-13 movies”

“That hurts,” Winn said, putting his hand over his heart.  “That really hurts, Kara.”

“You were asking for it, standing there, being so short.”  She paused for a moment, then looked up.  “She’s here,” she said as she stood up, picking up her tablet and Cat’s Latte.

The elevator door opened, and Kara’s heart gave the same small little flutter that it always did when she saw Cat.

“Good morning, Ms. Grant,” she said, letting every bit of the happiness she felt come through.  She’d been in the past for a year, and seeing Cat walk off that elevator never got old.

She saw the small tug of a smile that pulled at Cat’s lips before she started on her tirade.  “The only reason I bought this building is because it has a private elevator.  That way, I don’t have to get soaked in cheap cologne every morning getting to my office.  Find out who used it, and have them reprimanded, or bathed.  I don’t care which.”

Kara just nodded as she followed Cat into her office.  “Here’s your Latte, Ms. Grant.  Hot.”

Cat took it from her.  “As always,” she said.  “I have a meeting with the board today at lunch, so cancel sushi with my Mother.”

“Got it.  Should I also cancel your therapist, since you aren’t seeing your Mother?”

“Good idea, Keira,” she said, then took a sip of the Latte. “Hmmm…  This tastes different.”

“Noonan’s was out of hazelnut so I got you almond instead.  I hope that’s okay.”

“I don’t hate it, but do have a talk with the management down there.  If they’re going to take up space in CatCo plaza, they should at the very least be able to keep their supplies stocked.  Also, I’ve emailed you a list.  Prepare termination letters for the Tribune as noted.”

“Oh.  Ms. Grant, I’ve been thinking about that and I’d like to make a recommendation.”

“You’ve been thinking about a decision you knew nothing about until ten seconds ago?” Cat asked.

“I’ve been thinking about it since the financials came in back in January.  The Daily Planet’s the only print newspaper that isn’t taking a beating, and that’s pretty much entirely Superman’s doing.  They put him on the cover something like fifty-three percent of the time.”

“Are you going to tell me something I don’t know, Keira?”

Kara nodded her head.  “Well, we already do a lot of content sharing with digital, but I was thinking, why not merge the Tribune with digital entirely and try doing an interactive newspaper.”

“And how, exactly would that work?”

“A smartphone app.  We could put QR codes at the end of each story, which link up to a digital expansion of the story.  It’s sort of a hybrid monetization model.  Digital gets the basic story for free, but people who buy the tribune get free access to the expanded story content, but digital-only users have to subscribe to get the expanded content.”

“Hmmm…  That’s actually an interesting idea, but it doesn’t solve the immediate issues with circulation and it will increase the editorial load.”

“Not if we’re sharing the content across digital and print.  We can even tie in to broadcast by including video segments as part of the expanded articles behind the pay wall.  And the best part is, we can do a hybrid subscription model as well.  Customers can choose to watch an ad before the video segment and have inline ads embedded in the expanded article, or they can pay for the content to get it ad free.  We’d have to eat the losses on the Tribune while we restructured and built out the new workflow, but it would save a lot of jobs and we’d be ahead of the curve on digital and print integration.”

Cat stared at her for a minute, then nodded.  “Hold off on the letters for now.  Type this up as a proposal and go get me the layouts from the new art director.”

Kara grinned. “The proposal is already in your drop box.  I added it last night.  I’ll go get you the layouts now, Ms. Grant.”

***

She stepped into James’ office with no small amount of trepidation.  Her relationship with James was one of the biggest regrets of her previous life.  It wasn’t that she hadn’t been attracted to him.  She liked guys well enough, from a purely physical stand point.  She mainly told people she was a lesbian because homoromantic bisexual was confusing to a lot of them and that was before she even got into questions of species.  The problem with James was, she’d been more in love with the idea of him than she had been with him and James had been more in love with his idea of her than with her.  Things might have gone differently if they’d gotten together before Myriad and her death ride with Fort Rozz, but that day had changed something inside Kara.  It had burned away so much of what Eliza and Jeremiah and society in general had saddled her with in terms of expectations of who and what she wanted to be and left a truer, purer version of herself behind.  Her feelings for James had been part of that, but it had resulted in a lot of awkwardness and hurt feelings on James’s part.

It didn’t matter, because Kara was determined not to not make the same mistakes again.  No dating James and no Battle of CatCo plaza, either.

“Mr. Olsen, are you here?” Kara asked.

“I’ll be just a minute,” came a muffled voice.

Kara stepped a bit further into the office, and spotted James digging through a pile of boxes.

“I’m just here for the layouts,” she said.  “If you tell me where they are, I’ll get out of your way.”

“No trouble.  Just let me finish here and I’ll get them for you.”  He looked up from the box of trophies and plaques he was going through and stopped for a moment.  “Hey,” he said as he stood up.  “I’m the new guy.”

Kara nodded.  “James Olsen, I know.  Clark speaks very highly of you,” she said.

“You know Clark?” he asked.

“Of course.  Oh,” she stuck out her hand.  “Sorry, I’m Kara Danvers.  Clark’s my cousin.”  She saw a bit of surprise in his face, probably at the idea that Kara would be so open about their relationship.  “Don’t tell anybody though.  Cat would probably think I’m spying for the Planet if she knew.”

James laughed and took her hand, shaking it.  “Now that does sound like the Cat Grant I know.”

Kara looked over, and let herself smile as she caught sight of the print of James’ photo of Kal.  “And there’s the photo,” she said, letting go of James’s hand, and stepping around him.  “You do good work.  This almost looks like he posed for it.”

“He did,” James said.  “Don’t tell anyone though.  They might take away my Pulitzer.”

“Couldn’t have that,” Kara said as she lifted the print.  “I’ve got to ask.  What what’s he really like?”

This time James smiled, and Kara wanted to kick herself for not seeing the way he felt written on his face the first time they’d had this conversation.  “He’s everything you want him to be and more.  I mean…” He chuckled.  “I was scared to move out here, but, uh, he told me the biggest risk was never taking any, so…”

  Kara nodded and looked down at the print again, running her fingers over the image of her baby cousin in all his heroic glory.  It was easy to let the longing shine through.  She hadn’t seen Clark since she came back, and before that, he’d been dead for years in her personal timeline.

“Take it.”

“Hmmm?” she said, looking up at James.

“Take it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Kara smiled.  “Thank you.”  She looked down at the print for another moment, then back up at James.  “Layouts?”

“Oh,” he said.  “Yeah.”  He picked them up off the light table and handed them to her.  “Nice to meet you, Kara Danvers.”

“And you, James Olsen,” she replied, taking the layouts.  “I’d better get these back before Ms. Grant fires someone.”

***

In the year since Kara’s trip back from the future, she’d mostly avoided dating.  She hadn’t done it at all in the first month or so, but Eliza had kept hounding her.  Finally, during Thanksgiving Dinner, she’d just told Eliza she didn’t want to be set up on a blind date with her old college roommate’s son because she didn’t want to date men at all.  That had gotten Eliza to back off for exactly two weeks.

It wasn’t terrible, but Kara always felt a little guilty since the dates weren’t going anywhere.  She wasn’t really over Sara and the Supergirl thing was coming.  She knew what that would do to any potential relationship.  She dated mostly to humor Eliza, and to help Alex keep Eliza off her back.  She’d actually made a  handful of casual friends she hung out with now and then and she’d managed to talk Cat into adding an LGBT-focused section to the CatCo website and to the magazine, which had done so well Cat was considering launching three topic-focused print magazines, and five topic-focused websites.

Maggie, though, had been one of the few good things that had come out of the dating thing.  She knew the woman from the previous timeline of course and never would have agreed to a date with her, because dating your sister’s future wife was surely against some rule somewhere.  But she’d been sitting in a bar, nursing her third virgin strawberry daiquiri after one of her Eliza-arranged blind dates had failed to show, when Maggie had sat down next to her and ordered a whiskey.

Kara couldn’t believe her luck.  She’d struck up a conversation and for the last four months, she’d spent almost as much time with Maggie as she did with Winn.  There wasn’t anything romantic about it, mostly because of the future Kara had lived through, but also because Maggie had been going through a long and nasty break-up with a girl named Darla, so Kara had spent a lot of time being a shoulder to cry on.

It hadn’t even really been much of a decision to bring Maggie into the fold earlier than before, because Maggie was amazing.

Tonight though, was something Kara had arranged carefully.  She’d checked to make sure the bar had TVs that ran local stations so she’d get the news.  She’d also set up news alerts for flight 237 Geneva and National City Airlines and directed them to her burner phone.  The driver’s license in her purse was a duplicate, and the glasses she was wearing were a pair of cheap reading glasses she’d picked up at a Walgreens.  The purse had a few other odds and ends in it.  A spare lipstick, and a tube of lip gloss, a half empty tin of breath mints, a couple of tampons, an expired can of pepper spray left over from her college days.  A couple of Noonan’s receipts, a bit of loose change, 62 dollars in cash, and a prepaid debit card.  Nothing she couldn’t afford to lose, on the off-chance Maggie reacted poorly to finding out she was an alien without almost a year of history as Supergirl under her belt, but enough that it looked like it was Kara’s actual purse.

The whole thing would look careless to Maggie, like she was in a blind panic.  Maggie, being Maggie, would try to return the purse and that would give Kara a way to induct her into team Supergirl.

She spotted the woman sitting at a table, checking her watch.  When she looked up, her eyes fell on Kara, and Kara waved as she walked over.

“Hey, Maggie,” she said as she dropped into the seat across from her.

“Hey,” she said.  “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Kara replied.  “Not too bad yourself.”

“How’s Cat treating you?”

“Oh, you know.  Same old, same old.  It’s a good week though.  She’s only fired me twice.”

Maggie laughed.  “Only you would consider that a good week.”

Kara shrugged.  “It’s not like it ever sticks.”

“What’s the count up to?” Maggie asked.

“One hundred and ninety-eight.  Looks like Kelly from fashion is going to win the pool.”

“I bet Winn will be disappointed.”

“Probably,” Kara said.  “How’s the X-Files treating you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old.  Men in black apparently abducted a birdman in Chinatown last night, and a Klingon with a glowing axe jumped the fence at the airport.”

“Sounds like a fun week,” Kara said, but she felt a small moment of worry.  The Klingon with the glowing axe sounded a little too close to Vartox for comfort.

“Yeah.  One more day and it’s over,” she said.

“Any plans for the weekend?”

“Not really,” Maggie said.

Kara rolled her eyes.  “You are not going to sit at home and mope over she who will not be named.”

“I’m not moping,” Maggie said.

“No, you’re not.  We’ll do something.”

“Like what?”

“There’s a women’s volley ball tournament down at National City Beach this weekend.  We could go watch.”

“More like go so you can drool over the players.”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of me being your wing woman.”

“Kara, you would make the worst wing woman in history.”

“I would not!”

“Oh, do not give me those puppy dog eyes.  No one is going to take a second look at me if you’re there.”

“That wouldn’t be an issue if you’d let me introduce you to my sister.”

“Your sister is straight,” Maggie shot back.

Kara snorted.  “My sister is in denial,” she replied.  “Trust me, she’d take one look at you and there would be an Alex-shaped hole in the closet door.”

“I’ll pass on the sister and the volleyball.  Seriously, I-”

Kara held up her hand as she turned around.

“If you’re just joining us, shortly after take-off, National City Airlines, Flight 237 bound for Geneva is experiencing some loss of altitude.  The pilot seems to be circling the city after apparent engine failure.”

Kara turned back to Maggie as she pulled open her purse, and took out two twenties.  “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” she said as she threw the money on the table.

“What?  Why?”

“That’s my sister’s flight,” Kara said as she started towards the door.  She didn’t wait to see if Maggie followed her.  She didn’t need to.  She heard the scrape of the feet of the bar stool as Maggie stood up.  Heard the sound of the soles of her shoes hitting the ground.  Felt the disturbance in the air as Maggie chased after her.

Kara moved more slowly than she could have.  She knew she had time to spare.  She’d picked the bar because it was along the flight path, and this time, she was neither out of practice flying, nor was she unfamiliar with the aircraft in question.  She was already pulling her jacket off as she ducked into the alley, and she could sense Maggie coming around the corner as she tossed it aside.  She ripped off the cheap drug store glasses and threw them in the same direction as the jacket as she ran, then she bent her knees and kicked off.

She nearly laughed when she heard Maggie scream, “Holy shit.”

Then she put everything out of her head but the task at hand.

She approached faster this time, her flight skills fresh and practiced from her regular runs out to Sanctuary, which is what she’d named her own not so little Fortress of Solitude.  When the engine broke free, instead of plowing through it and showing the city with flaming debris, she caught it, and with a deft spin and shove, sent it splashing down gently into the bay.  She wasted no time trying to push against the wing.  Instead, she flew up under the plane and punched through the skin, grabbing the frame member tightly, and pushing up.  There was no desperate turn to keep the wings from getting clipped.  The plane cleared Otto Bender Bridge easily, and then Kara started a slow, gentle turn.  The plane cleared the bridge a second time, before Kara guided it down gently into the water.

Once it had settled into the water, she kept pushing, sliding it along the surface, using her x-ray vision to make sure she didn’t hit anything until she ran it aground near the I-210 off ramp for National City Bay Beach.  Once the nose of the plane was pushed up on dry land, Kara let go of the plane, and swam out, climbing up on the right wing.  She stood, watching through the skin of the plane as people took movies and snap shots, before she gave Alex a nod through the window, and shot into the sky.

***

Kara had gone back to the alley, not at all surprised to find her purse, jacket and glasses gone.  She’d known Maggie wouldn’t leave them.  She’d been a bit worried she’d find the detective at her door, but as luck would have it, she was alone.  She’d showered, eaten an order of fifty buffalo wings, and was most of the way through her large supreme pizza, while watching the news coverage.

“The passengers of Flight 237 appear to have a guardian angel.  When, what many report to be a female flying form rescued them from certain death.”

“Leyna Nguyen is live at the scene.”

“Thank you, Rick.  Guardian Angel would appear to be right.  Not only did she rescue the passengers from a tragic end, but reports also indicate that she caught one of the plane’s engines as it broke free and kept it from falling on the city, and prevented the plane from hitting Otto Bender Bridge not once, but twice.  Then, after setting the plane down in National City Bay, she pushed the plane up on shore, making rescue efforts and clean-up easier and much safer.”

“Oh, my god,” Alex said.

Kara hopped up from her spot on the couch and hugged her sister, careful not to bruise her this time.  She stepped back, holding Alex by her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She watched as Alex rubbed her forehead, and did her best not to sigh.  She knew what was coming, and she’d been dreading this part of the night.

“Let me get you a drink,” she said.  She walked over to her small kitchen and poured Alex a glass of the Johnny Walker Blue Label Alex kept at her apartment.  She put the glass in Alex’s hand, and waited for her to drink it.

“So, let’s hear it,” Kara said.

“Hear what?” Alex asked.

“The part where you yell at me for exposing myself to the world, and tell me I can never use my powers again.”

“It sounds like you already know what I’m going to say,” Alex said.

Kara nodded.  “You know, given how much you complain about Eliza, you sound just like her.” It was a low blow, and Kara knew it, but the flinch from Alex still made her wish it hadn’t been necessary.

“Because she’s right about this, Kara,” Alex said.  “It’s not safe.  What if people figure out who you are?  What you are?”

“Then they figure it out.  I didn’t travel two thousand light years to be an assistant my whole life.  I had a mission, and maybe, yeah, it was already over when I got here, but that doesn’t change who I am.  /.nahn khuhp w ,kahrah,zor,ehl  .nahn khuhp w tiv inah ewuhshehd im ,kryptahnium,  .nahn khuhp w aonah wukhaiiu zrhythrev ,ehl,/  My mother was Alura In-Ze, the chief Adjudicator of Argo, my Aunt was Astra In-Ze, a General and the War Leader of the House of Ze.  I am the granddaughter of In-Ze, Myara Bar-Ul, Seg-El and Nimda An-Dor and descended in direct line from Erok-El and from the War Queens of the House of Ze.”

“Do you know what that means?  My people, my culture, my entire world may be dead, but I am still a child of Rao.  /.nahn ,rao, i chahvehd shokhpahs w pahdh tiv aorghahs ni waila/  I have not forgotten, and I will not bring shame to my house by hiding who I am like some coward.  There are people out there who need me.  People who I can help.  If that means I have to take a few risks, then I will take those risks.”

“Kara-“

Kara held up her hand.  “No.  No, you should go.  Go home, get some rest.  Get used to the idea that this is happening.”

Alex huffed, in that special way all big sisters have when they want to let their little sister know they’re being annoying and unreasonable.  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Alex said.

Translated from the Kryptonian:

.nahn khuhp w ,kahrah,zor,ehl I am Kara Zor-El

.nahn khuhp w tiv inah ewuhshehd im ,kryptahnium, I am the last daughter of Krypton

.nahn khuhp w aonah wukhaiiu zrhythrev ,ehl, I am the eldest child of the house of EL

nahn ,rao, i chahvehd shokhpahs w pahdh tiv aorghahs ni waila Rao’s first law is to make the universe whole.

[les-bi-katamari]

SESSION 13 (4/1/18)

Brianne checks in on Ghorza to ask about her hunger, which Ghorza deflects, looking conflicted. Ghorza carries the spy down to the dungeons, along with Megs; the rest of the party goes after Ivandra to check on her and Silenne.

[The others arrive at Silenne’s chambers, where Ivandra is cradling her in her arms. Silenne is clearly very battered, with horrible rope marks. Brianne comes forward to heal her, and uses Goodberry, since it also provides nourishment. Silenne wakes fitfully, and Ivandra comforts her, lifting her onto the bed with the questionable assistance of 6-Str Brianne. Cadence also provides healing, and Apphia gives her the Cloak of Comforting. Apphia leads Ivandra out for a talk, and Cadence and Brianne bond, with Brianne overcoming her furryphobia.]

[Imp: “OHHHH! Was that why you asked Ghorza about hunger?” Gwen: “Maaaaybe? Yeah, I picked out that spell because of Ghorza’s hunger.” Imp: “Awwwwwwwww! That’s so gay!”]

[In the Solarium, Apphia confronts Ivandra - about wanting to kill the spy, about her ‘playing for the other side.’ Ivandra finally confesses, “I-I made a terrible mistake, when I was younger.” “What mistake?” Ivandra breaks down crying. “There are no words for the unspeakable. I… made a deal, with a devil. She and I have been acquainted for some time - I met Glasya some time after mother died. I didn’t know what she was, then, but she had kind words when no one else had kindness to spare. I was enamored with the kindness and care she showed me. For years, she encouraged my studies, and filled my mind with possibilities I never could have entertained without her. At first, all I had to do was listen. And she was my closest friend. I grew to resent that no-one else recognized what she recognized in me, and she encouraged this. She offered to help me reclaim my birthright, fulfill my ambition - at a price. At the time, she was the only one to put any value to my soul.” “Y-you SOLD yourself? To Glasya?” “Yes. At cost. Because I placed very little faith in that. There is no way of softening this. Of cleaning it. This is a flaw that cannot be polished away. I’m so sorry for holding so fast to you for as long as I have. You have always deserved better than a devil’s whore.”]

[“I asked her to turn it back, after the accidents, the mysterious illnesses, as I put the pattern together. But she told me she was bound to the deal as I was, and that my disliking it could not change that. I know this does not absolve me.” “Did you know more about this? THIS? Did you lie to me about this?” “N-no! No, Apphia, I swear! Last time I spoke to you, I told you my intentions were good. They have not always been - but I was not lying to you that day. Glasya may have bought me, but I am still my own woman, I can- she asks for more every day. When I deny her, it is not enough to wrest my soul back, but- My path is not predestined in life. Only after it. After meeting you-” “Don’t.” “I’m sorry. Of course.” “What does she want?” “What all of her kind want. Power. She wants to usurp her father. She wants divinity.” “I thought I had already seen the worst thing I would see today… I don’t know what to say to you.” “I don’t know if anything can be said. This is all I am. I don’t know if you can even still call me friend. But… I am sworn to see this through. I will do everything I can to aid you, to help put this right.” “That’s a true devil’s choice, then.” “Whatever you need. I am at your service.” Apphia leaves her, nothing more to say.]

Meanwhile, Ghorza has asked Megs to go fetch Nemeth, so she can be there for the interrogation. [Megs run into Apphia as they’re both heading back to the Forge and tries to comfort her, only to be met with stony silence. Apphia arrives at the Forge, nodding hello to Ghorza’s moms - who share a look of concern - and heads straight to Ghorza’s room. The Isvaniran soldiers are still there playing cards - Nemeth has taken alllll their money. She’s the cat who got the cream; they look like they’re regretting not being got by the demon. Megs leads Nemeth back to the castle.]

Back at the castle, Ghorza has decided to wash the prisoner’s face rather than throw a bucket of water at her, because it’s MORE unnerving. After some failed attempts at intimidation, Ghorza suddenly sees the spy recoil in terror of her, seeming to look through her - above her? The others in the room are eyeing her strangely as well, but the spy begins to talk.

“We’ve got people out at Tarjanir, getting things set up, a ritual site. I don’t know what’s out there, I wasn’t a part of that. He’s bringing up everyone from down south to get this locked down.”

“Cyric is hated by all other gods. He has no allies; there’s no god he hasn’t betrayed in some way. But the lower powers, fiends, some demon princes. Devils were starting to get their claws where they shouldn’t. Cyric figures he’ll throw in with the side of the Blood War that he stands to gain from, keep the devils back.”

Silenne was replaced because she’s a big player. Ivandra was seen as threat because of ties to Hell - a devil has her ‘wrapped around her finger’.

Ghorza starts ranting about how Galaias will turn on Cyric and try to devour him, dooming the whole mortal plane. The spy tries to protest that Cyric is powerful.

“I was in the gutters when Oswin found me, nothing but pain and sorrow to my name. But he is powerful, Cyric is powerful.” Nemeth is outraged, and pushes in front to say “You think he’s your friend?! You think he sees anything in you? He found a PAWN in that gutter. You know what he told me?” She recounts how Reaver killed her parents, and took her, telling her she could be a good person and die with her parents, or come with him and become a terrible thing.

Nemeth runs off; we finish the interrogation (no new info on Ardazhan). Ghorza advises the shell-shocked spy to throw herself on the mercy of the court, and pointedly ignores Galaias’s voice in her head telling her “MERCY IS FOR THE WEAK! FINISH HER NOW!”

Megs heads off to try to find Nemeth. Ghorza steels herself to go report to Ivandra. There she lays out the good news from Aldessein, and the other results of the interrogation, before addressing the elephant in the room. She tells Ivandra that she remains her loyal servant, and trusts her with the work against Galaias and Cyric. They have a heart-to-heart about being chosen by fiends; Ivandra professes her faith that Ghorza will not fall, and Ghorza says she firmly believes that Ivandra can be free as well.

Everyone eventually meets back up at the Forge, and debriefs a bit about the news on Cyric and the ritual and Tarjanir and Ardazhan. Ghorza pulls Brianne aside to tell her that the hunger is not overwhelming, but is still there - and she offers her a Goodberry, which very much helps to soothe Ghorza; she lifts up Brianne in a tight hug. Meanwhile, Apphia sits up slowly from the bedroll she’s been wrapped in.

A: “...Reaver wants the lens.” G: “Yeah… I still don’t see how the plane of dreams fits in to his Blood War deal.” A: “The lens is attuned to the Plane of Dreams. What if it could be attuned to a different plane?” G, paling: “The Abyss? You think he’s gonna open a portal to the Abyss?” A: “He certainly might be able to.”

We talk a bit more about plans going forward.

KNOWN THREATS -Reaver and the cult of Cyric --ritual at Tarjanir -Galaias's hordes --Ardazhan --the whole fucking forest -Isvaniran cultists of Galaias? -Isvanir in general -memory-stealing monsters -the devils [ooc: UNKNOWN THREATS -Vengeful spirit of Brandt -Penguins -Evil trees -Flying boats -Feudalism and class society]

Eventually we decide: since everyone is SUPER stressed, we’re taking the next day (day 6 of the campaign) off for downtime. Then, we send the raven to Reaper to tell him to meet us in Vassarein in 24 hours if he wants an ass-kicking. Then, we’ll go to Rothanvar to check out the library and hopefully get more info. After that, maybe Ardazhan?

End of session.

[naszczescie]

★ fill in the questions as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse.

TAGGED BY: @marching-man

TAGGING: ANYONE! EVERYONE! @viltismanedar​ @kwiecista​ @ofeire​ have you done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?   full name? Feliks Aleksander Krzysztof Łukasiewicz.

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? Rzeczpospolita Polska, the Republic of Poland.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? ......uh, because i’m Poland? no offense but that’s a really dumb question.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? eh... I’m in a pretty lowkey relationship right now. and even if i were single i wouldn’t go out with you.

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES? other than being immortal, you mean? hmm.... well, specific to me I’m pretty fast and super resilient. also for some reason when i work with mechanical stuff it... does weird things. like, “i think i just broke physics” things. stuff like Stepping and fast healing and picking up languages quickly, those are just regular Nation things so i don’t usually think about them.

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green. (bats eyelashes) aren’t they pretty?

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?  I had green-and-pink highlights during my punk phase. don’t look at me like that. everyone’s gotta have a punk phase.

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? Nation-wise, a shit-ton of cousins and a sister. i consider my citizens family too, but other than that it’s me and my cat.

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? szczesiek! he’s white and fluffy and i love him.

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. Prussia. snakes. being cold. Prussia. people who take up a ton of space on the train. people who bring their dogs on the train. Prussia. games with too many fetch quests. did I mention Prussia yet?

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? mostly sewing or computer games. i play piano. in summer i go horseback riding a lot. also i like baths! i don’t know if that counts as a hobby but i love it. it’s really relaxing.

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? (cheerfully) ‘course.

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE? (still cheerfully) yep!

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? like, what would i be? sometimes i think ‘cat’ and sometimes i think ‘bird’. depends on like, the alignment of the stars or something. mmm... tonight i’ll say cat.

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. i’ve been told i’m annoying but who pays attention to that shit? (laughs) no really though. i know i’m bad at reading people so i can be... pretty thoughtless. i say dumb things.  ‘cause i don’t really think about how it’ll affect anyone else? normally it doesn’t bother me that much. it... makes some relationships harder than they should be though....

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE? Ealga is like the mom i never had. we don’t talk very much anymore-- we’re both busy with our own stuff-- but i still admire her more than i think she knows. and my sister Magda is pretty awe-inspiring. i would cheerfully kill for her and might even consider dying for her.

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? ACE ACE BABY. my current romantic partner’s male, if you care about that stuff.

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? i’d love to go back and get a second degree....maybe a teacher’s license actually, that would be awesome...... but no, i’m not.

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY? mm. marriage for Nations is-- complicated. if i were human i might. as it stands, though, i can barely handle the responsibilities i do have, never mind a political union.

also for the record, i would be a terrible parent.

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS? uh....... my neighbour seems pretty fond of me? i guess? what does this even mean who writes these questions

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?  i’ll admit to being scared of snakes, ‘cause everyone knows that. you must be a level 800 friend to unlock anything else.

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? i adore crop tops. my go-to street outfit is a nice soft one with jeans and boots and loads of jewelry. i have a bunch of cute sundresses too but it depends on my mood and who i’m with. some of my friends, ah-- subscribe more to human views of gender than others.

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? (blushes and fidgets while muttering something about “too soon to talk about it”)

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? i live a generally middle-class lifestyle these days. comfortable but not super fancy.

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? .....are you asking for exact numbers? because i’d have to be pretty damn pathetic to know that off the top of my head.

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? pi is an outdated construct that you can’t actually work with half the time. use tau instead.

27. FAVORITE DRINK? (cups hands around mouth and shouts) WHO WON BEST VODKA AT THE INTERNATIONAL WINE AND SPIRITS COMPETITION FIVE YEARS RUNNING, HUH IRINA? --anyway, you can’t get drunk on beer, everyone knows that.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE? Kraków, probably. it’s still really special to me.

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? (side-eyes) would i be in a relationship if i wasn’t?

31. WHAT’S YOUR BRA SIZE? 32AA.

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? i love swimming in the ocean. salt water waves are a very specific experience you just can’t replicate inland.

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’? apparently snake-kissing pagan assholes. ....uh, don’t tell toris i said that, he doesn’t think the pagan thing is funny anymore

34. ANY FETISHES? no comment.

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? NO COMMENT

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS? (shudders) indoors indoors indoors

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER? why, is it over now? are you leaving? do you need help finding the door--?