#why do i have so much anxiety about just talking to someone???

[fbfh]

Could I request a drabble with Dave Lizewski and his best friend who has a major crush on Kick Ass and tells Dave all the dirty details?

OOOOOH SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS. aged up to 18+ obvs, give me a hoot or holler in the notes or my ask box if you want a fluffier version lol

Dave always wondered why girls never noticed him. he figured it was cause he's a quiet geeky nerd who likes comic books and superheroes. nope. it's because of you. when you first met Dave - however old you were, freshman, middle schoolers, kindergarteners - you latched the fuck onto this boy so fast. you've always been protective over him, always had that vibe that says you fuck with him, I'll fuck you up. besides, having a best friend as hot as you immediately made everyone assume he's totally off the market. like, it should be obvious. being "best friends" with someone as hot as you, spending all your time together - you have sleepovers for god's sake. EVERYONE at school fully believes you're fucking. the only ones unaware of this are Dave and Todd and Marty and possibly yourself.

it's at one of these infamous sleepovers that you finally spilled the beans. you've been obsessing over kickass for weeks, constantly talking about him and his exploits to Dave. you just got your hands on another grainy, horribly low quality picture of kickass stopping a purse snatching from someone's video doorbell. you're sitting at Dave's desk while he's flopped on his bed, finishing some homework.

"fuck I want him in my mouth so fucking bad..."

it just slips out, but Dave is instantly hard. he startles, sputtering and desperate to know who his best friend is practically moaning for.

"y-you want who?!" he demands in confusion at your sudden outburst, causing both of you to laugh. you turn the monitor towards him, and Dave sees himself looking back. his stomach does the thing, that flippy jerky oh shit thing from both anxiety and horniness. he is really, really hard now.

"k-kickass?" he asks, his voice getting all whiny and cracking in that way you've always found so cute.

"yes!" you exclaim with a laugh, looking at him incredulously. "come on Dave, you told me about a sex dream you had about our math teacher two days ago. he groans half heartedly at you bringing up.

"I already regret telling you about that." he protests playfully, his voice muffled into his duvet.

"just look at him," you sigh, already looking at the pictures of kickass. "look at his arms... I'd probably cum just from him putting me in a headlock."

Dave nearly chokes on his spit. He's really glad he's laying on his stomach so you can't see the way he's kind of rubbing against his mattress. it's not on purpose or anything, it's not like he's trying to get off to his best friend (even though he has before. like a lot. like he has to clear his porn search history because it's all descriptors of people who look like you) but when you're going on and on about how wet you'd get from being choked by a guy without realizing he's actually inches away from you... well, what is he supposed to do??

"christ, you can see his whole bulge in this one," you murmur, biting you lip. "I have never wanted to suck someone off so bad."

Dave lets out a choked noise, which you interpret as more playful disgust over your thirsting.

"I'm serious!" you exclaim. "I swear to god, he could keep me barefoot and pregnant and I'd thank him."

Dave's hips have started moving faster on their own as he grinds against his mattress. he knows he shouldn't prod for more details of what you'd do to kickass - to him - he knows you're his best friend and that you'd probably think he was some sick freak if you knew the truth, that he's kickass and he's getting off to you listening to you talk about him like that. Dave loves you, he respects you and admires you and cherishes your friendship so much, so why is feeling guilty and conflicted about about listening to you unintentionally dirty talk like this making it feel so good??

"literally, I would make sure his balls were always empty. like, always." you state.

each word that tumbles out of your mouth makes his blood burn with lust.

"U-uh huh," he chokes out, fighting for his LIFE not to moan in front of you right now.

"just one chance," you sigh, "I just know he's majorly packing. Bet he cums a lot too." you murmur.

you're pouting now. pouting over not being able to taste his cock. the same cock Dave is trying to discreetly jerk off just a few feet away from you. he whines softly, praying you won't notice as you continue to look through photos of him as kickass.

"I don't think I've ever been so down for someone," you whine, throwing your head back and sighing. "okay, you can't tell anyone about this-"

you start seriously.

"but I literally got off thinking about him last night, and I came so hard-"

and if that's not the straw that breaks the camel's back. Dave lets out a strangled, stifled whining moan as his hips rut and stutter against his mattress. his head swims as he cums in his pants, blinded by a raw, pure pleasure.

"O-oh god!" he pants, head spinning as he comes down from his high. his cheeks are flushed, and he can't fucking believe he just did that in front of you. he swallows thickly, terrified - and for some reason, a little thrilled by how you'll react.

you look over at him, eyes locked on him for a moment. it only takes you a second to realize what just happened - your horndog best friend got so turned on from listening to you thirst over kickass that he actually creamed his pants.

"You're so gross," you laugh playfully, throwing a pen at him. "I hope you know how lucky you are that I'm great at keeping secrets." you finish, an unspoken promise that tonight will stay between the two of you.

you turn back to what you're doing, unperturbed by the fact that your best friend just came in his pants from hearing you talk like that, chalking it up to Dave being Dave. this isn't the first time he's gotten hard at an awkward time, but usually he just sneaks off to the bathroom or something to take care of it himself. you had a hunch he might resort to something like this eventually, so you're not too surprised.

"Anyway, what do you think his type is?" you ask, swiveling around Dave's desk chair to look at him. your arms are crossed on the back of the chair, and you lean down on them as you look at him.

"Like, from an objective, guy perspective?"

"U-uh," Dave starts with a soft, nervous laugh, still unable to believe that just happened. "I- I don't know..." he shrugs.

he thinks that's the first time he's lied to you. he knows exactly what kickass's type is, because he's looking right at you.

[writingtraumaforever]

Hey, I was wondering what your take on shadow and sonics sexuality is? I personally see Shadow as a gay aroacesep and sonic as bisexual but I was wondering what your take on them would be! I've seen other people headconnon sonic as Trans. I love your work and writing! Keep it up! I always get so excited when i see a new work or chapter! I'm sorry about what happened with the recent news on why you don't post art. People can be cruel without meaning, too. They should have asked for your age before doing that. Just so you know, we all support you and love you! Lots of love and kudos from one of your fans!

HELLO!! First of all, thank you so much for supporting my writing! <3 and thank you for the sentiment.. it feels like a lifetime ago, but I still get my anxiety. I’m trying to slowly integrate some art here and there to fight this anxiety, though! ^^ <3

I’m much better now and safe and feel very loved. <3

As for Sonic and Shadow’s sexuality ahhh—

Okay.

For Shadow, I find it to be more of a deeply rooted sort of attraction than physical. For this reason, I see him as a bit on the asexual side. He’s not a very sexual person to begin with, but is attracted to one’s mind and thoughts and abilities and what one chooses to do with them. Once connected in that sort of way, THEN he may be more open to physical interactions. Like with Sonic, they’re connected. They understand one another. He also sees him as this inevitable good which takes him back to Maria. Sonic pushes Shadow to be better as a person and as a fighter, and so Shadow respects him deeply even if he doesn’t always admit it. All this to say— I think he’s more on the demisexual realm of things. Because even when he and Sonic start talking more and go on dates, he doesn’t inherently become attracted to him in that sort of way until they’ve been dating for some time. And then it’s like BOOM. Oh, I like him, and he likes me. We should do something about that. Shadow doesn’t let people in, so when he does it’s pretty magical.

As for Sonic??? Dude is bi. I’d even say he’s pansexual to be fair. With how many different species he’s dated/flirted with, he’s just there to connect with whomever his heart is currently leading him to and that’s FINE. I’ve seen people headcanon him as trans and I always think that’s so cute to see!!! Representation is lovely, and people being able to express themselves through their favorite fictional character is a great form of comfort. As for me? He’s not trans in my writing. Not because I don’t like it, but because I, myself, am not trans, so to write the mindset of someone who has walked that path feels hypocritical and disingenuous to me. I feel like I’m a fraud when I try to put myself in the mindset of people (especially minorities) that I’ll never truly be able to understand or experience. I wouldn’t do that journey and all the complications and mental battles that come with it justice. So I simply stay away from that sort of thing out of respect. I feel someone who can relate to it more would do a far better job of writing Sonic being trans than I ever could. <3

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[sk3l3t0n444]

ok nope too much of a pussy to do it

ok here we go im gonna be so brave

[goldensunset]

in my experience i didn’t get interested in kingdom hearts by watching or playing anything first. i got interested by watching people post about cute anime children murdering each other and i was like ‘fascinating. i wonder how this got past the disney censors. let’s find out’

[jalboyhenthusiast]

-

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[clawsextended]

on a note to all: my plotting style is something i like to call i have adhd and if i see you on the dash and have an idea chances are i’ll im you about it. i’m an anxious little dude who isn’t always active in a broad scope, and it’s always been my nature to reach out to people. that doesn’t make me even remotely anxious. not even remotely expected to answer me — i totally get it, sometimes you don’t feel the vibe — but a general psa about how i work. i come from the dinosaur era where the only way to communicate with one another on any level was to directly talk to them and frankly i don’t even know how else you’re ever supposed to plot with a person otherwise. like… how do you write if you never talk????

[natugood]

What I am learning from existing around people who date is that apparently if you want to date someone you just… tell people you think they’re attractive and then ask them to go on a date? And if they say yes then you hang out and essentially conduct an extended vibe check to see if you’d both be down to clown in whatever way you both desire? And then you keep doing that until you decide the vibes are bad or you die, and throughout this process you’ll likely get to know them very deeply in some personal and intimaste way?? Essentially, dating is basically deciding to make a deep connection with someone based on an aesthetic vibe check???

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[fappellmoan]

i mean it’s just kinda crazy cause. and forgive me if i sound somewhat spoiled here but. this trip im doing to take more credits and get experience and make connections etc is obviously expensive and i talked abt it with my parents. a lot before trying to do it. and somehow my dad didn’t understand that yk we would have to pay for it. ??? and is putting me in this spot of ‘figuring out what we’re gonna do about it’ and it’s like dude. i mean i’m going i paid for my fucking flights you know i’m. regardless i’ll be there. and i make $10/hr i have not been able to work consistently and when you don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting there accumulating more interest it doesn’t fucking last. like what exactly do you want me to say? i’ll drain all my accounts and give what little i have to you? tldr my main point here is the only way this man truly shows any kind of affection is through money and since he fucked me up im glad to take advantage of that lol like why wouldn’t i. so to have it thrown back in my face is just um an awful feeling. like im not even worth this to you. this is just too much. it truly does feel like someone put a number on love and im just not up there

[memequeen92]

sometimes i look at my fics and think 'man thats some fucked up shit i hope the people subbed to me on ao3 arent like... traumatized by it'

but then i remember that literally the first fic i uploaded on there ended with death and torture and... y'know. That thing. that fic. the one with the springlocks.

...I don't think anyone who knows what they signed up for by subbing to my ao3 is any more traumatized than they were when they woke up this morning.

[strwbrymlkshake]

I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀

[leftoversludge]

DEVASTATING: teen discovers their problems are shared by millions, yet the horrors persist

[ghastbutlikegay]

Do you ever like psychologically analyze yourself at 8 in the morning