#just in case it’s the last straw yknow Tumblr posts

[ghastbutlikegay]

Do you ever like psychologically analyze yourself at 8 in the morning

[phagodyke]

uwgrhrhfbf feeling very pathetic + missing my ex rn..... not so much the dating part but we were best friends for soooo long :^(((

[jewishbarbies]

yknow i was rereading and it sounds like -if i'm not mistaken- the last straw was me saying i was mentally preparing myself to leave the house in case i was going to have to defend myself or my family, following up from when i said before that that my ultra conservative mom sat me and my sister down and urged us to take off our magen davids so we didn't "identify ourselves", and it really shows how ignorant these pieces of shit are. i, personally, live in an incredibly conservative area, because my parents are conservative and they moved us here when i had no other options. my whole county is insanely fucking red. you think i'm only scared because of what's happening right now? jews have been scared in this country for a long time now, this isn't new, it's just being more televised and we're now being targeted by both political parties for different reasons. if you want to live in ignorance, you're more then free to do so. but my words are right there in my own fucking posts and if you can't use any amount of reading comprehension, i'm not responsible for your hissy fit of stupidity.

edit to add: i have chronic anxiety. everything scares me.

[rainydaze-rhys]

Do all 25 for borderlands. Yknow. For funsies.

There will be a readmore line here somehow because on god I’m about to say so much. let me preface: all my hot takes on the matter are a solid 4 years old at minimum, I do not keep up to date on the blands fandom, my enjoyment of the series exists exclusively in isolation these days, etc., etc., if things have changed then I simply do not know about it

1. the character everyone gets wrong

Handsome Jack. He is not a good dad. He is also not in his 30s. That man has an adult daughter and has been married twice. I refuse to believe he was anything under 50 during BL2.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

DHKDGDJSHDJDJ I sure did forget this was one of the questions. Um. My faves are all verse and no one would refuse to do one thing or another.

3. description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

I saved this for last and then still couldn’t bring myself to remember anything so this doesn’t get an answer because I simply do not want to remind myself of those takes

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Back in my borderlands days I was afraid of blocking people so I simply did not do it. Took me until only a couple years ago to finally realize “Oh this rules and significantly improves my online experience” and now I block all the time, but this is an entirely separate blog from my borderlands one so it doesn’t have any crossover

5. worst discord server and why?

This one I can’t answer. Discord wasn’t a thing for my original dive into borderlands. We all were just on tumblr constantly and then me and a few friends also talked on Skype

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Handsome jack/Rhys. I mean I was there. I was in the thick of it. I could see it. But oh my god the braindead takes on it and the aggressive insistence that it was basically canon! The number of people who actively harassed people who liked the actual in-game love interests! The amount of times I saw people say “I don’t personally like this so I’d rather people not discuss it around me” only to be bombarded with dozens of responses discussing it in detail! Wretched! One of the all-time worst collective cases of people insisting the biggest and most popular ship was effectively canon and getting mad at anyone saying otherwise

7. what character did you begin to hate because not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

Handsome Jack. lol. lmao.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Handsome Jack is a dogshit father and every single fluff piece or “Happy father’s day lol” post or headcanon about him being a good dad to Angel is dead wrong to an astounding degree. He put her in a cage and used her as a computer for her entire life and frankly she should have gotten to kill him

9. worst part of canon

Borderlands 3.

I was going to say “I kid” but I don’t. It has its moments, but god, it sucks so bad. Killing Maya, replacing Angel with Tannis, writing off Lilith, doing what they did with Aurelia (she would NOT fuck that man), flanderizing the characters from TftBL (Vaughn’s… whole situation…), and— god I just remembered mid-sentence that New Tales exists. That one was actually worse than BL3 somehow.

10. worst part of fanon

Handsome Jack. I’m just gonna keep saying this for basically every question that asks about the bad parts of fandom because literally… him and the people rabidly defending him. (<- he is my favorite character and also I think he deserved worse than he got. these are not mutually exclusive)

11, number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered

See above re: blocking people, I didn’t filter things at the time and on this blog I follow almost no one who posts borderlands content

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Fiona is weirdly unpopular given that she’s literally a protagonist. The same with Lilith, actually, now that I think about it; people seem to either be “meh” about her or frothing-at-the-mouth enraged about her. And they’re wrong! Fiona is a great character who deserved to actually fucking exist in bl3, and Lilith is really well written as understandably arrogant and capable! Also, Nakayama and Vasquez. I can’t take credit for being into those two because other people with extremely good taste did it first and influenced me, but it remains true. And ELLIE. I know “unpopular” isn’t strictly true of her because I think most people would say they like her, but Ellie is a gold star across every game she’s in and I wish there was even more of her and I wish people appreciated her more. Love Ellie.

13. worst blorbofication

. handsome jack.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

So many borderlands fics are a/b/o. Mpreg is like the DEFAULT. It boggles the mind. “Rhys Borderlands is Handsome Jack’s PA and then he goes into heat in his boss’s office and Jack is such a ruggedly masculine alpha he takes suuuuch good care of him!” Gives me the ick. One thing they don’t tell you about naming yourself after a video game character is the rammys when you try to read a fic and see Your Own Name in those situations.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I actually don’t really remember the fanart well enough to say about this. I vaguely remember a lot of art of Rhys Borderlands strung up like a puppet controlled by Jack, but beyond that, I’unno

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing

Can I be very fully and entirely honest. I don’t love Tim. I don’t hate Tim! And I’ve turned around on him a lot, his appearance in the Handsome Jackpot DLC in bl3 is phenomenal and he’s a great character! And it’s a super interesting concept! I just still don’t love him.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I want more fics where Angel survives and gets out from under Jack’s influence. Let the Crimson Raiders be her new parents. I want her to be Maya’s best friend and I want her to date Gaige and I want her to be there in person to kick Jack in the dick when he loses badly and then dies.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. YES the gameplay can be tedious at times. However. I love the Pre-Sequel so much. Love the writing. Adore the plot. Cherish the individual Vault Hunters. The Claptastic DLC remains one of my favorite DLCs. Love Elpis. Fucking love Janey Springs. Hate the way they left so many loose ends to be tied up plot-wise and then just kinda went “lol nvm all that” in the next game.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

IYKYK ;)

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

A lot of the Pre-Sequel is going back and forth across very large open areas using Stingrays which are a vehicle I do not love. A lot of BL3 is also going back and forth across very large open areas using vehicles which control like the Stingrays. There are so many quests that are just “drive around and kill 30 guys and pick up 8 items then drive here and kill 30 animals and pick up 8 more items then drive back and kill 30 guys and give me the items.”

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

I don’t really think there are overhyped things unless BL3 entirely counts as overhyped, which… not anymore. Honestly most of the stuff that’s hyped is fairly understandable. The most popular DLCs are inevitably the ones which are the most well-written with interesting mechanics.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I already said the Pre-Sequel. Uh, if “everyone else” includes the writers, then TftBL, because they absolutely just threw all of that except Rhys and Vaughn in the trash and then ran those two through a meat grinder.

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to

No “unwilling” about ‘em, I’m usually pretty much open to whatever, but I also don’t even poke my head into the tags these days so I haven’t experienWAIT no I just remembered Zer0/Rhys is a thing. I used to not like it. I do now. Silly goofy.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

“Is it okay to like Handsome Jack?” I will not be elaborating because thinking too much about the endless debates gives me hives

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

Once again I am too disconnected from the greater fandom these days to actually know and be annoyed by what people are complaining about.

[neoncaptor]

putting under read more for irrelevant lifeposting lmao

i feel i should give myself more credit for the amount of healing i've done over the past (almost) 4 years...

granted i don't know how much is dissociation and how much is genuine healing but i at least feel like i'm on more stable ground yknow.

seeing/hearing certain words doesn't make me panic anymore. i don't give people the benefit of the doubt so much if i notice red flags. i put myself out there more but i'm also more at peace with letting people drift away if they don't seem interested in maintaining a friendship with me. i'm more prepared for people to betray me and less likely to romanticise friendships with thoughts like "they'd never do that to me" because boy... even if they wouldn't at one time, people change and then they will 100% do that to you. maybe you could call that trust issues but i feel like it's also not healthy to trust others Completely. there needs to be a happy medium between "things ok to trust someone with" and acknowledging that other things are a risk and that you should be reasonably prepared for betrayal without letting it consume you.

i had a last straw moment actually that kinda solidified everything i've been through with different people over the last 10 years lmao. i happened to see a good friend from primary school in a café and she was SO happy to see me, we hugged twice and she said to me: "I'll message you later and we can get lunch or something." in fact, I'm pretty sure she said she'd message me later twice. i was in such a good mood the rest of that day because it felt like i'd genuinely rekindled a friendship.

anyway, a week or so later she still hasn't messaged me so i decide to message her first in case she forgot. i bring up lunch plans and she says she's on holiday but we can do it once she's back - yeah that's fine sounds great. she never messages me again

it was a trivial thing but it just really made it sink in for me that no matter how genuine someone seems, no matter how genuine they think they're being, people don't often really mean what they say. (i do because i'm autistic LMAO but hey.) but the thing is - other people DO mean what they say. i made a good friend shortly after that event because we were both genuinely interested in knowing each other. it's fine to let people drift and not be sad about it because there will be other people who respond to you with just as much enthusiasm. i don't know, maybe one day she'll betray me, but that's not my problem yet and hopefully i'll feel okay about it or see it coming before it happens now.

basically this is all a very long way to say... when people show you who they are, believe them 🫡

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

honestly the given explanation for why the miss fortunes are out doing what they do is so thin, that i’m kind of inclined to believe the writers didn’t actually. make one. they just wrote in that the clans were “close-minded” and just expected us to take that at face value bc idk, they’re old?

however if we are attempting to stretch a fan-canon explanation out of the raw dough that is canon, the one area i can think of that is strikingly close-minded of the clans, and also shared between them, is their mutual distrust of each other. and since clover and coin come from two different clans, i actually feel like the most likely thing is that they left because they weren’t allowed to associate, and/or were getting suspicious looks for doing so.

however, coin also names irida’s “goody-two-shoes attitude” as part of the reason she left. so i’m back to not being sure again. is that a front, to look tough for the other two?

yknow, depending on how timelines shake out—and this is a hundred percent influenced by the other thoughts i’ve been having re: the pearl clan lately—if the sisters left for the galaxy team really soon after it settled in, and if that itself happened not long after ingo arrived, it’s possible that the “goody-two-shoes” thing coin’s mad at irida about is irida choosing to let ingo stay.

especially because irida then reflects that “the coin [she] knew would never have hesitated to help a stranger in need.” maybe coin perceives some sort of double standard in the way irida handled ingo’s sudden appearance vs. coin’s relations with clover/the diamond clan, and was pissed enough about it to just leave entirely. since she was directly fighting with irida, that would also explain why irida seems less surprised to see coin than adaman does clover.

this doesn’t account for charm, and whatever happened between the three of them and the galaxy team, at all. i know. i’m still thinking about that part.

[cacy11]

sorry for talking about tiktok again so soon but im literally going insane theres discourse about a british slang term for cigarettes like. Minorities are literally having what little rights they had stripped can we sort that one out first before you get mad at my parents for saying theyre gonna go have a fag

[trflgr-law]

After reading the latest manga chapter (996), I realized that Law will have more screen time.

Law was having a flashback in this scene where he and Robin were talking about the Will of D.

Here, Law asks if the only way to know about the will is to follow the Poneglyphs. Robin answers: to do that the Yonkō must be beaten.

Since Law wants to know about the Will of D (by finding the Poneglyphs which the Yonkō prolly have), and Luffy wants to be the Pirate King (that means beating all the Yonkōs) they both now have similar goals.

The Captain Trio needs to defeat the two Yonkōs: Kaido and Big Mom who are in Wano. And since both of those Yonkōs have also decided to have an alliance, the fight is gonna last longer and it will be harder than the fights they have fought before. But of course, like any other fights, it will come to an end plus knowing Luffy, he will win those fights and victory will be much much sweeter than they have ever tasted or experienced.

Also, Luffy has the copies of the first two red Road Poneglyphs all they need now are two more. Their first red Road Poneglyph was from Zou inside the Whale Tree, the second was from Big Mom’s Road Poneglyph which Brook copied. The third one is in Kaido’s territory which Law is trying to find in the basement but the biggest mystery is the fourth Poneglyph. No clue about it yet, just that it was once in Fishman Island but was relocated (I think?).

Wano Arc will set One Piece’s future. It will be the turning point of OP. Oda will reveal so many things here in Wano Arc. I think I read somewhere that a clue about the One Piece will be given in this Arc.

Thus why Luffy and Law’s alliance will stay longer and why Law will have more screen time. All this also hints that Law is unlikely to betray Luffy. Back in Punk Hazard, Luffy asked if Law will betray him and Law said no, then Luffy said that in case Law does betray them, he has his nàkámá with him who also trained for two years.

And since Luffy beat Doffy (Doffy wasn’t in their original plan, what they wanted was for Kaido to beat up Doffy), all of those things also worked out in Law’s favor in the end. In addition to that, they have a Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai alliance and they all share the same goal as of the moment. It just won’t do Law any good if he betrays them (cause yknow, betrayals are known throughout the Pirates). Anyway, here’s to hoping their alliance and friendship will set sail smoothly!!

A somehow related topic:

*sorta shipping LawBin back then but now I’m shipping them more. Oda said there would be no romance within the Straw Hat Pirates so LawBin is a possibility (ﾉ≧ڡ≦) Teehee~!

Law carries Robin bridal style. It’s just unexpected. I guess this is what you call fanservice.

After the Dressrosa Arc, on the way to Zou, riding Bartolomeo’s ship, Robin went to talk to the lone Law about what he plans to do next since his goal of defeating Doffy is done (or something along the lines). This is how he responsed: He smiled, left and told her not to worry about him.

Robin protecting Law from Doffy. Robin covering Law with her own bod. Robin and Law spending more time in the Dressrosa Arc.

Of course I’m not imposing or anything, I’m just saying there’s a tad possibility of them getting together. Who knows, right?

[mysticm3ss]

Could u pls write headcanons/a fanfic about RFA+(V & Saeran if u want to) getting MC pregnant but MC tries to hide her pregnancy (for any reason) and around 3 months later when her stomach starts to grow RFA find her pregnancy test hidden away somewhere and confront her about it. I know u already wrote a headcanon about their kids but I just love any sort of headcanon/fanfic about baby’s and pregnancy’s yknow. Btw I love your requests broski. Your a good writer. Sorry if my English not good lol

sure thing, thank you for requesting and thank you for the compliments! don’t worry your english is perfect! 

so i wrote this literally months ago and forgot it was in my drafts, i’m sorry it’s taken so long to get up!! i rly enjoyed proofreading this bc i’m studying developmental psyc at uni right now and it’s lowkey giving me mad baby fever lmao

(leaving out jaehee for this one bc she ain’t out here getting anyone pregnant, like even if she had a penis she’d be too responsible for that to happen unless it was planned anyway let’s b real. also i varied the way the boys found out a bit as well just so things don’t get too repetitive, hope that’s okay!) 

Yoosung:

The thing you have to know about Yoosung is that he is very small and has no money, so you can only imagine the stress he’s under~

Jokes aside, when you realise you’re pregnant, your first reaction is panic.

You and your boyfriend are both so young–you’re not even old enough to have graduated college yet, how are you going to take care of a child?

It takes you a solid month or two just to come to terms with the pregnancy yourself.

When you finally think you’re feeling brave enough to bring it up to him, the thought of what his family might think acts as another hindrance–he seemed to have a perfect family, and Yoosung himself had admitted they were somewhat conservative… how would they react to your situation?

While you’re busy still coming to terms with it, however, Yoosung accidentally stumbles upon the pregnancy test you had so cleverly hidden in the bathroom cabinet.

You’d slipped it into a box of toiletries, snugly hidden between the myriad of tampons and pads that it held. When Yoosung accidentally knocked it from the cabinet, he scrambled to tidy up, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tucked away the sanitary products.

He froze when he saw the test, mind whirring as he struggled to explain away the white stick in his hand.

There was no explaining away those two pink lines, however, and so that night, he dared to broach the subject with you.

He fiddled nervously with his hands as he sat on your shared bed, eyes looking everywhere except your face when you entered the room.

“Yoosung… is everything okay?”

A shaky breath. “MC… are you… you’d tell me if something big happened, right? Like… like if you got pregnant or something?”

The guilt-ridden look on your face was all the answer he needed.

Your eyes welled up, and Yoosung’s arms were instantly around you, pulling you against him as he squeezed you tight despite his own shock.

“MC, why wouldn’t you tell me? How long?” His words were soft; gentle whispers into your ear as his fingers combed through your hair.

When you explained your worries, Yoosung’s heart instantly melted, and he felt guilty that he’d never realised what you’d been going through the past few months.

“Don’t worry about my family, MC– don’t worry about anything at all. I love you, and I love this baby, and we’re going to be so happy, okay? I’m right here, cutie, I’m right here…”

And though your face was buried in his shirt, Yoosung could still feel your smile.

Zen:

We all know that Zen is super-focussed on his career, and in turn, works long hours with early starts and late finishes.

His busy schedule and blooming career is the first thing to cross your mind as you stare at the two glaring pink lines on your pregnancy test.

How were you going to tell him? How would he react? His career was just beginning to take off… what if he didn’t want children so soon?

How were you supposed to deal with that..?

And so, spiralling into uncertainty, you decide to put off telling him for as long as possible; to enjoy your relationship for what it was now, in case it all fell apart.

As a result of Zen’s schedule, it’s not too gruelling to hide your pregnancy from your boyfriend.

You usually wake up to brutal morning sickness hours after he’s already left for work, and your fluctuating hormones generally only make their presence known while you’re on your own.

Regardless, Zen is extremely observant, especially when it comes to his jagiya.

He idly notices that you’ve gained weight, but he’d never bring it up; he honestly doesn’t care, so long as you’re healthy, which you certainly seem to be with how radiant you’ve been the past couple of months.

He does, however, notice that you’re keeping something from him. As to what, he’s not sure.

Zen trusts you wholly and completely, so it doesn’t even cross his mind that you could be hiding anything too big from him (at least, at first).

He figures that maybe you’re just planning a surprise for him, as he’s done a number of times for you in the past few years that the two of you have been dating.

When he comes back early one evening to see that you’re not at home, he sets about making dinner for the two of you and decides to get a head start on the chores.

He knows that he’s slacked off on his household duties lately, and the least he can do is pick up a few now that he has some time at home so that you don’t have to worry about them later.

While your favourite meal is warming on the stove, Zen strips the bed of sheets and gathers your dirty laundry into the hamper. 

When he returns with a load of freshly dried clothes, he begins to pack them away. As he folds your underwear and tucks them into the drawer, he notices what seems to be a piece of paper peeking out from beneath the neatly folded fabric.

Confused, he pulls it out, his breath catching as he sees the ultrasound.

He reads your name and the date over and over, unable to even comprehend that you could keep something like this from him.

He’s crushed that you hadn’t told him, and immediately falls into denial.

This has to be a prank, right? MC would never keep something like this from me…

He’s still frozen, sonogram clutched in hand, when you arrive home.

Zen looks up at you, eyes pleading and face soft with vulnerability as he wordlessly begs an explanation.

“…MC?”

His voice is so quiet and broken that it kills you.

You gently explain that it’s real; that this isn’t a tasteless prank but, in fact, reality. Zen takes a deep breath to steel himself.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Don’t you think I’d want to be there, especially for this?” he demands, voice ringing with pain and rising in anger as he holds up the sonogram still crinkled in his fist. 

It takes a bit of explaining on your part, but Zen’s hot temper gets the best of him as he shakes his head and turns away from you. Tears prick your eyes.

“Don’t you see, Zen? This is what I was afraid of!” Your voice cracks, and Zen spares a glance back at you, immediately softening as he sees your glistening eyes and the tears beginning to stain your cheeks.

“MC… I love you. I love this baby. I’d never leave, you know that, don’t you, jagi?” His voice is hushed, his heart breaking as he leans in to brush a tear from your face with his thumb.

“You can’t keep things like this from me, princess… not something this big. If you’re worried, talk to me, okay? I’m in this with you. Forever, remember?”

His arms fall around your shoulders as he crushes you to his chest, before pulling away in panic.

“Crap! Was that too tight? Did I hurt the baby?!”

You laugh, and the sound is music to Zen’s ears as you drag him in for another hug.

Jumin:

When you wake up to a sudden wave of nausea, Jumin’s first reaction is concern.

“O-oh, it’s nothing, it must just be something I ate…”

“I see. I must speak with the chef who cooked for us last night, this is a disgusting oversight on his par-”

No Jumin don’t fire the chef ohmygod

You barely manage to calm Jumin down before you’re huddled over the toilet once more, and he lets all remaining traces of fury evaporate as he focusses on holding back your hair and rubbing your back soothingly.

All the while, your mind can’t help but dart back to the pregnancy test that you’d hidden at the bottom of the wastebasket.

You knew you couldn’t keep this a secret from your husband forever; and in your head, you knew that everything would work out just fine. It wasn’t like you couldn’t afford a child, you had more than enough money to provide for them, it was just…

The two of you hadn’t been together for that long; not really. And although that didn’t diminish your love for one another, it didn’t change the fact that Jumin was still just getting used to being emotionally vulnerable and opening himself up to other people.

Would children be too much, too quickly?

He’d never even expressed interest in having children before; he was far too occupied with you and your relationship, enjoying the joys of the present and letting the future bring what it may.

And although you manage to hide your continual morning sickness from him for a little while, you know that as soon as you start to show, you won’t be able to put it off any longer.

When you wake up feeling nauseous yet again, Jumin declares it the final straw.

“MC, you’re clearly ill. I’m phoning a doctor,” he says, voice stern and leaving no room for disagreement. “I should let Assistant Kang know that I won’t be in for work today…”

Your weak protests fall on deaf ears, and barely half an hour later, Jumin is opening the door…

You didn’t realise that “phoning a doctor” entailed bringing in a whole team of specialists in various medical fields.

They check your vitals, and when you hear them begin to murmur about blood tests, you break.

“Jumin, this isn’t necessary!”

“What? Of course it is–they can help, MC. There’s clearly something wrong-”

“Jumin, I’m pregnant!” you snap, the words falling from your lips before you can register their utterance. Jumin’s eyes widen, and he clears his throat as deafening silence falls over the room.

“Excuse us,” he manages, and the team of specialists quickly and awkwardly take their leave.

Honestly, he’s lowkey offended that you kept it from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is stiff and cold, and your heart sinks as you feebly attempt to explain.

“Do you honestly think so low of me? Do you truly not trust me, after everything that we’ve been through?” he asks, voice hard.

That’s when you start to cry.

Damn hormones!

Jumin immediately softens, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… you’re right. I do trust you, I swear, I was just… I was scared,” you finally managed, voice thick with tears.

And though it takes a little while, Jumin understands. And once the shock has faded, the small smile that tugs up the corner of his lips betrays the excitement that your news has brought him.

“We’ll have to start thinking of names, hmm?”

Seven:

You could hardly call the life that Seven led “safe.”

The risks that come with his job hardly provide an environment fit to raise a child, a thought that instantly flashed through your mind the instant you saw the two lines on the pregnancy test.

You swallow hard, hands shaking as you move to rest a hand over your stomach. If you had to guess, you’d wager that you were at least eight weeks along…

God, had Seven ever mentioned even wanting kids before?

But despite your worries, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of delight at the idea of raising children with the man you loved so dearly.

Still, that didn’t mean you knew how to tell him.

Luckily, you had time. Seven had been sent on a mission for the agency only that morning, and he wouldn’t be back for at least a month.

Although the news had been initially devastating, you were half-beginning to consider it somewhat of a blessing in disguise… at least you could figure out how to break it to him now, right? It wasn’t like you could break news like that over the phone, after all.

When Seven does finally arrive home, he wastes no time in sweeping you into his arms and planting tiny kisses all across your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, drinking in your warmth and softness and desperately attempting to atone for all the time with you that he had missed.

After finally pulling away, Seven easily notices that you’ve gained weight–of course, he’d never mention it; you were always beautiful to him.

Regardless, he can’t help but observe that you really do seem to be glowing. 

Saeyoung knows you well enough to easily realise that you’re keeping something from him. He sees the nervous twitch of your fingers, the tightness of your smile…

And so, when the two of you cuddle up on the couch later that evening, Seven pressing kisses to your hair and clinging to you like a baby koala, he finally brings it up.

“Sooo… what aren’t you telling me, MC?” he asks, playfully poking your side despite the worry that claws at his chest.

What if they want to break up? Oh god, what if-

He finds himself so lost in his own concerns that when the words finally fall from your lips, it takes him a moment to process them.

“W-what?”

“I’m… I’m pregnant, Sae.”

You hold your breath, and only release it when you see the huge smile stretch over his face, brighter than the sun and just as warm.

And just like that, you know that everything is going to be just fine.

“If it’s a girl, can we name her Elizabeth?” “Seven nO-”

hope you enjoyed, please reblog/comment if you did! ^^

[sukirichi]

I'm sorry about the hate you've been getting for the wonderful series that is reckless. I respect you setting boundaries for yourself and protecting your mental health. Um. I did want to suggest something in case there was a part of you that still wanted to finish the story. Why not take away the anonymous feature? People get really bold when they know they're name won't be involved. It would probably completely fix that problem. Or perhaps finishing the series on ao3? Your comments there are always pretty lovely (and the anon thing applies there aswell). I only say this because your series is one of the best things on Tumblr and I'm sorry I didn't praise it enough to outshine the hate.

ooooh 🧐 the reason i don’t take off my anon feature is bcos the anons are meant for people who are shy yet wanna say something nice or share something to me, its not a place for haters at all but yknow, they would still do that. but yeah i kept the anons for the anons i DO want to interact with! and i plan on finishing reckless someday but definitely not soon enough, and the rest of the chapters (the entire story basically) would be shared exclusively to my server where my friends are. altho idk hahaha rn it just makes me have a bad taste for the series so i dont wanna do anything with it atm

i consider ao3 too, i could keep posting there but anything to do with updating reckless is just not anywhere on my priority list atm 😔 i really did love the story and enjoyed it, i was so excited for it but it also brought me sm negativity long before ch8 (i think the amount of crap people gave me for it started in chapter four. the next updates were still enjoyable, but i had my last straw yesterday.) and thank you sm baby, i’m happy to know you enjoyed it 💕

[teetlesandnimjas]

What if in the explosion the brothers got separated?

This is a villain turtle au- if you don’t want to read it you can scroll past! I know it’s a cliche concept but it was fun! And I like doing my own spin on things.

(Note in this au when they’re mutated they are a little older, young kids, as this idea wouldn’t work if they weren’t SEMI competent. They’re still 13, 14, and 15 in modern times, but when they’re first mutated Mikey is 3, Leo and Donnie are 4, and Raph is 5)

Donnie: got scooped up by Draxum in the end, and works as his assistant first, son second. He has a similar position to Foot Recruit; despite being fully capable of actually being useful, he is treated with little respect and does mundane tasks like running errands and fixing random, broken objects. He is trained constantly but is told over and over again that he is “not good enough” yet. Despite this he puts his heart into everything he does. Broken clock? Sure he’ll fix it and it’s got LAZERS now! This causes him to accidentally make problems, and Draxum thinks that Donnie is “a complete and udder fool” which is further from the truth. Villain Donnie is a lot like canon Donnie personality wise but a bit more serious. He does not approve of Draxum’s use of mystic powers, and resents using them himself. He refuses the axe Draxum tries to give him. Draxum has little regard for what Donnie thinks and does, and therefore has an awful relationship with him. And yknow Donnie’s abandonment and self-worth issues? Yeah crank that up to 11. Basically Donnie hates Draxum and the Mystic City, and the Shredder going rouge is the last straw. “WATCH ME! ILL WIPE OUT THE HUMAN THREAT WITHOUT YOUR STUPID MAGIC! YOU HEAR ME BARON DRAXUM- I DEFY YOU!”

Leo: made his way to New York via Senior Hueso. Originally I was going to have him raised by Hueso but then realized it wouldn’t make a lot of sense- so Senior Hueso picks baby Leo up off the streets but ever the wanderer Leo walks right through the GIANT PORTAL IN THE WALL. From there Foot Brute, attempting and failing to find members for the clan, picks up this tiny, promising turtle off the street. “What is that thing?” “I dunno but he’s cute- and we’re in need of members” “That is an actual child” “so?” And then Leo is raised by his two dad- I mean sensei. I put raised lightly. He was treated better than Donnie but he was never given a lot of attention, and therefore turned to causing trouble to get attention. And not just from his dads, from anyone he can. Causing mischief in the city actually helped him in his training, as he became very skilled at sneaking, fighting, and stealing. He butts heads with Foot Recruit a lot because of his constant need for approval and attention. She finds him genuinely annoying while he just views it as “playful teasing.” That comes back to bite him the butt upon meeting Donnie, who comes along to help make form the Shredder armor, but he does not want to be there. Forced to work together, Donnie gets sick of Leo’s crap real fast but they don’t really hate each other, but in the moment they needed to play it off like they did and therefore gave the impression to the other that they DID hate them. Confusing, I know. Draxum tries and fails on multiple occasions to nab Leo but if he does he realizes it’ll put a major dent in his plans. So he forbids Donnie to speak to Leo. But no one stops Leo from talking to him. But Donnie’s coldness and Leo’s cruel banter really doesn’t help them get along. The moment Shredder goes rogue and the Foot Clan collapses, Leo flees in fear. “What if” this and “what if” that but mostly because he tried to take out Shredder and ruined his clan name. But even on the street, Leo remains the same annoying, much more cruel and dark humored mutant.

Mikey: Got scooped up by the Mud Dogs and taken to Big Mama, dragging only Lou’s glasses with him since even as a toddler he picked up anything shiny he saw. I plan to draw the interaction between tiny Mikey and the Dogs (and how Mikey got his name in this au) but that’s a surprise. Anyways pretty quickly he got entered in the Battle Nexus. Think about the appeal that fight would have! Just a couple years of training and then bam! “Introducing Hakka-gu! Our youngest fighter ever- only 8 years old!” And having natural talent and capabilities he was an instant hit. And he wasn’t treated horribly, after all Big Mama couldn’t risk one of her most profitable champions running away. But he is still treated as nothing but that- a profit, a marketable product. No one calls him his real name anymore, no one cares about him, just his capabilities. When he gets injured it isnt “are you okay?” It’s “is your body okay?” And sometimes he’s treated like an idiot- especially by Big Mama. He was never taught language and has very botched speaking patterns because “intelligence isnt important for a champion.” Well eventually he has enough of that, and through a bloodbath, he is able to escape to New York. Now he’ll get respect- he’ll make them respect him. But he gets quickly spotted by the Foot Clan and Draxum, as he’s in the way. Upon finding out about the plans to wipe out humans, he knows he has to stop them. Who can respect him if THESE GUYS wanna take over the world? He’s not getting mistreated again. But when the Shredder goes rogue he panics- he cant stop it but... he knows who can. He goes crawling back to Big Mama and strikes a deal. A better champion. Better than him. And she takes it, although in the end she makes some... alterations to the deal. But this doesn’t stop his quest for respect, and he ultimately heads back to New York.

Raph: Savage! He’s alone, a young child who doesn’t know where to go. He panics, and rampages all the way to New York. After a good, long, temper-tantrum, he finds himself in an alleyway, climbing into a sewer. And there he eats rats, he sets up a not-so-homely-home for himself. He flashes in and out of his anger, but he is almost always emotional and looking for some sort of control in his life. He gets that through rampages, causing destruction in any way he can. Usually he doesn’t make TOO much of a mess but he’s brought down a few buildings in his time. Eventually, upon seeing a rampaging demon-armor in the streets and seeing 2 figures trying to stop it (at this point Mikey is getting Big Mama) he realizes there are others out there like him. And then begins a struggle for control not over the world, but over himself too. There are times he gains control and although lonely, he knows he must learn. He learns English in flickers, and it isn’t perfect, but he can communicate. He can talk to them. Now he just needs to stop hurting them.

Extra notes:

In this au the only one with their weapon is Donnie. Mikey and Leo are skilled with the weapons they have in canon (the Ōdachi and Kusari-fundo) but they do not have mystic powers. Raph is... well... Raph. He can’t fight with weapons well but he can pack a punch.

Mikey is still a chef and artist, taking a liking to the ability to create, but just like with everything else he “needs to focus on his fights” so he can’t have interests. A kid like Mikey HATES this and any time he can he sneaks away to bake and draw. Usually this is at 2 am.

Leo has anxiety. The minute something not in the plan happens, or a loud noise, or having to talk to someone without a script, he goes into fight-or-flight mode. He often finds that the answer is to fight.

Raph is not necessarily evil- he is an antagonist but he is not evil. He simply has no control and lashes out at everything. That’s why he stays in the sewers. Nothing down there’s moves other than rats, bugs, and the water. But he has to get violent urges out some how.

April is a reporter-in-training in the au, as she never met the turtles until after the Shredder incident. She’s immediately interested in it, as she is everything “supernatural” and she gets dangerously close to some of their fights. I don’t know how they meet yet or if she becomes friends with any of them.

After the Shredder incident, the only thing stopping each turtle from destroying New York is each other. Seriously. They keep getting in each other’s ways because “I want to take over the world, not THEM!”

They all have certain villain stereotypes. Donnie is sort of a mad scientist, Leo is a teasing, monologging villain, Mikey acts like a nut case but has a certain intelligence to him, and Raph appears as a total destroyer.

In the end they get redeemed and find out they’re family, but it takes a while. Mikey is the one to hunt down Draxum, while Leo stalks him. Upon finding this out, having 3 out of 4 looking for each other, they find each other pretty fast. And there’s a big dramatic apology scene with all 3 of them, and at first Donnie thinks they’re conspiring against him and ambushes them but is only met with three harmless turtles who refuse to fight him. They tell him what the deal is and Donnie is shocked. And then he’s pissed. “WHY DIDNT DRAXUM TELL ME!? YOURE LYING! LIARS! NO!” In the end he realizes the truth, but it takes a little “talk” with Draxum. And then Donnie nearly commits murder. Don’t worry they stop him. But there’s no Draxum redemption arc because Donnie would continuously try to commit a felony. April is also somewhere in there and like gives the brothers goodness lessons but idk where that fits in I’m still working this out shajajajajaj

[kangaracharacha]

Imogen and all the OC asks

What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about? ‘sparrow’, because she turned up with hawkeye and a sparrow is a little shitty hawk and tony stark thinks he’s funny

What is the color of your OC’s eyes/hair/skin? blue, blonde, white.

How tall is your OC? not very tall. very short. probably like 5′-ish.

What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC? there’s a long, ugly scar on the inside of her collarbone. otherwise, the general bad attitude mixed with the height is. amusing.

What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night? comfortable, practical clothing. dull colours, generic brands, doesn’t mind much what she looks like. for a special occasion, she’d dress down, but appropriate to the occasion.

What is one word you would use to describe your OC’s appearances? angry

Does your OC have any markings, such as a birthmark or a scar? scar on her collarbone.

How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like? I’m honestly struggling here. It’s just normal. Just a normal voice. Good at shouting. Very loud. Usually angry.

What does your OC’s bedroom look like?  His/her living area? kind of messy but like, organised chaos. she’s not really a chore-doer, yknow, she’s busy doing other stuff and she mostly lives alone so it doesn’t bother her or anyone else. it’s not really out of control or anything. apart from her clothes and stuff, she doesn’t really have her own space; in new york, she lives in clint’s apartment, an old, small space in an outdated building with second-hand furniture and a bunch of clint’s crap still sitting around, and if she has a place in sokovia it’s temporary housing and doubles as an office, so in the grand scheme of things she doesn’t really have a huge impact on the spaces she occupies while she’s there.

What does your OC keep in a special drawer? as sad as it is, nothing, she doesn’t really have a lot of possessions, definitely not special ones; the only things she brought with her from SHIELD were a bag of clothes, a knife, a gun, and a toothbrush, and since then she hasn’t quite settled enough to start collecting things - and living most of her life so far without a lot of stuff is just a hard habit to break.

What is your OC’s relationship with his/her mother? the evil scientist? she’s not a huge fan. kind of resents her like, a lot. imogen doesn’t remember anything about her except what other people have told her and the things she’s found out about herself, so she’s kind of just a stranger that set her up for a lifetime of frustrations.

What is your OC’s relationship with his/her father? nevr knew him, has like one vague memory of him being kind of nice, but in the end he was evil so she’s not really searching for any way to keep his memory alive.

How many siblings does your OC and what is his/her relationship with them? hah. she has one brother. having cut herself loose of that tie, she’s recently realised that that relationship was some kinda toxic and also he wasn’t afraid to kill her when ordered to so. you could say she’s not really interested in seeing him again either.

Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life? she’s a bit over parental figures and a bit too old for that kind of bond at this point in her life, but she does have a couple of ‘mentors’, people that she can rely on to point her in the right direction. clint barton is one, of course, you always have to have a good friend who can knock you out and tell you ‘hey maybe being on team hydra isn’t like, the most morally sound decision you could make’. pepper potts is a professional rolemodel she’s found she can look up to. she lowkey thinks she could be like pepper someday but she’ll never admit that ‘CEO’ sounds like a good job to her.  and shoutout to Agent Donoghue, whose name i had to look up because he’s in sparrow for a whole five seconds but. she feels really bad about this one. Donoghue was her last chance at SHIELD, he gave her every chance to be successful in that line of work and he really was a good mentor, she just wasn’t ready to change when they knew each other. she looks back on a lot of the things he said these days and regrets not listening sooner, just like she regrets how it ended...but things had to happen the way they did for her to want to grow and become a better person.

What was your OC’s childhood like? crap, mostly. well, it was fine in a way, but. her parents died when she was five and she almost died too but that wiped most of the memory out of her head at least. she was adopted by a neighbour who was actually just a hydra agent on a longcon mission to keep an eye on her, more because she was possibly useful for information on her parents than out of any concern. this didn’t really lead to a loving household to grow up in, and her brother, who is five (or maybe seven?) years older than her didn’t spend much time around the place, and got himself admitted to the SHIELD academy as soon as he could. she didn’t really deal with this whole situation very well, so she grew up struggling in school, getting into fights, constantly grounded and yet impossible to control. eventually, her brother managed to get her an admission into the academy as well, where she found some structure at least but wasn’t particularly well liked and was typically bottom of the class, problem student, one step away from being thrown out.

What is your OC’s strongest childhood memory? Why and how as that impacted him/her? she sort of remembers the murder of her parents, sort of, but it doesn’t really hit her the way she thinks it probably should? it’s just there in the back of her brain, blurry and disjointed and she’s not sure how much of it she’s made up and how much she’s actually remembering, and it doesn’t really impact her all that much although it probably did as a young child.  otherwise, the day that her brother, will, left for the academy. she has a whole lifetime of memories of people failing her, but that was the first time that he failed her, and though she didn’t realise it at the time, it was the final straw for her as a kid; she only closed off after that, gave up on people and on school and whatever else she was dreaming about. looking back now, she realises that she should have held on to that betrayal instead of eventually forgiving him, because that was her first red flag that he wasn’t as focused on her wellbeing as she thought he was.

What is your OC’s imagination like? not very good, she’s a very impulsive and in-the-moment kind of person, and a pragmatic and logical thinker who doesn’t leave much room for fanciful dreaming or thinking very far outside the box.

How many times did your OC move as a child?  Which area was his/her favorite? she spent most of her childhood in new york, shifting house a couple of times but otherwise in the same area, attending the same school, etc. they all sucked, honestly; her favourite place was her parent’s house. or it would be if she could remember it.

What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them? she used to have no tolerance for kids but she’s warming up to them slowly, the further she gets from being a loudmouthed, hotheaded teenager. she would have kids one day, but not for a while yet, but more because she’s just too busy and not settled in one place at all than because she doesn’t like them.

What kind of mother/father would your OC be? she’d be dedicated to being a good mother, and to settling down and living a life that is right for her kids. she wouldn’t be the perfect parent, she knows nothing about parenting and has never had one of her own in her life, but she would try her best. she might even learn patience.

Who are your OC’s closest relatives? none of her relatives are close. she doesn’t know any of her distant family, most of them are dead anyway, and her brother is the worst person ever, so she’d just like them all to stay very far away, thankyou.

Who is/are your OC’s closest friend(s)? she has a couple of good friends in sokovia, katja and sofia and vinn (but they are all ocs and so you’ll have to send me another ask to know more about them). clint and the maximoffs are her closest friends in the avengers circle of people, and i guess ruby (radford, hacker extraordinaire and Legally Dead) also counts as a close friend, if grudgingly.

Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with? people that challenge her, and people that have earned her respect, which she doesn’t give away freely. she likes to be pushed, whether in her skills or her wit or just as a person, and she has an acute sense of when people don’t really like her company - which is fine, she knows she has a personality that is grating to some people, but she would prefer that they just didn’t come near her if that’s the case. 

Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates? people that she feels are working against what she thinks is right. usually, this is groups of people - hydra, intel, certain rebel groups and militias in sokovia. otherwise, there are plenty of people that rub her the wrong way day to day, but she doesn’t really spend time actively hating them, she’ll just either get into a fight with them or avoid them as much as she can.

If your OC has a soulmate, who is it? (pietro, but don’t tell her)

Why does your OC and his/her soulmate work so well together? they’re both people that grew up lost and overlooked and angry at the world, and they were both manipulated by hydra and used and tossed aside by them, so they find common ground in that, even if it was on very different scales. they also tend to run in the same sort of circles as well - they find friends in the same people, their goals often align - but their personalities are different enough that they don’t just piss each other off. they share the same humour and the same brutal honesty and strong sense of right and wrong - they’re not afraid to call each other out, or argue, and they’re learning to apologise and forgive together. most importantly, they make the choice to be there for each other and to live new lives, and they stick to it. they both have an idea of who they want to be in the future, and both have the other in that vision.

What are some things your OC admires about his/her soulmate? she admires his commitment to his cause, how much he cares about his country and his friends and family and the responsibility he puts on himself to fix it. also, that he could put up with her for so long, without complaint; she’s always been used to people getting tired of her or taking off (or trying to kill her but we’re not going to talk about that), and she wasn’t really sure anyone could stand to be around her and still care about her for so long.

How did your OC and his/her soulmate meet? auntie stark playing matchmaker at a party because he was bored and he’s a meddler and they both annoy him in the same way.

What is your OC’s level of education? high school dropout and SHIELD academy dropout with no formal education, but she’s competent enough to get by in basic skills like maths and SHIELD related things like fighting and espionage.

Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they? is detention considered an extracurricular activity

What is your OC’s opinion of school?  What kind of student was s/he? school was a very negative experience. she hated every minute of it. she was that really annoying, disruptive kid that would physically square up to anyone who even looked at her funny and regularly punched people and things, yknow? bad grades, bad attitude, no friends, given up on a long time ago.

What subjects did your OC excel at? sports weren’t terrible, as long as they weren’t team sports. once she got to the academy, hand to hand combat was her best subject, except that she was used to fighting dirty and already too set against the system to sit down and learn proper technique.

What subjects interested your OC? nothing at school really interested her; all of her interests have really come to her in her 20s, when she’s free to discover them on her own.

What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession? throughout the three fics about her, she’s a shield/hydra agent, a security officer at Stark Industries, and the director of the SRF camp in Nova Grad, Sokovia. she’s still figuring out where this is leading her, but the last two jobs have been perfect for her at that stage in her life.

How is your OC working towards his/her dream job and/or achieved his/her current profession? she’s been lucky enough to fall into each of her professions so far, which she is all too aware of and works hard to prove that she deserves it. her brother got her a place in SHIELD training, Clint helped organise the job at Stark Industries and called in a few favours so that she would get it, and she took over the SRF camp temporarily after an incident with the former director. she’s most proud of her work at the latter, and she’ll try to continue in that role until something else pulls her away.

What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession? she enjoyed working at SI well enough, the job was within her skill level, the people were okay, she was comfortable. she could have easily stayed there for a lot longer if other opportunities hadn’t presented themselves. she loves running the SRF camp, it’s just the right amount of challenging and a little bit dangerous but not too dangerous, and even if it’s a lot of paperwork there’s also something new and crazy happening every day to keep it fresh.

What is your OC’s biggest dream? to find a place to fit into and live a life where she’s making her own decisions, outside of the control of other people.

How does your OC react to and handle stress? she gets short and snappy with people, doesn’t have time for stupid or time wasting, can get pretty heated but doesn’t often get overwhelmed, she’s still got a handle on the situation.

How does your OC handle anger? loudly. she will physically fight people, if she’s riled up enough, but she’s trying to curb that habit.

How does your OC handle grief? processes inwardly, and puts on a brave face outwardly. very few people would see her express grief, and it would take a few weeks for it to really hit her like that.

What is your OC’s greatest fear? losing everything she’s worked hard to get in the last few years.

What makes your OC happy? uninterrupted downtime, when she can just do what she wants. it’s a simple life. oh, and people getting what they deserve. it’s satisfying.

What kind of sense of humor does your OC have? sarcastic, dry remarks, and finding humour in other people’s misfortune.

What are some things that greatly upset your OC? being disregarded as stupid or useless or annoying, situations in which she’s helpless or too far out of her depth to catch up

What are some things that annoy your OC? people that can’t keep up with her or say dumb shit, people in general, irritating noises 

If your OC has them, what are some regrets s/he has? she regrets not trying harder in school or the academy, she feels like those years were mostly wasted and wishes they hadn’t been even though she knows it’s not something to blame herself for. she regrets killing donoghue too; in the moment, it was all she could do, and what she had to do to survive, but it goes so against her morals that she’ll always feel guilty about it.

How easily does your OC forgive? not very. she’s been let down a lot in the past, and she’s cutthroat about removing people from her life when she thinks that they’re dragging her down. 

What are some of your OC’s vices? pride, wrath, anger, impatience, unkindness, spite

If your OC experienced trauma, what was it? the death of her parents. during flicker, she struggles with the knowledge that she has killed and seriously injured people before, and with knowing that she’s done these things while trying to learn how to live a normal life. in swift, sokovia offers her a very immediate and major seachange; she has to live through bombings, violent riots, shootings, etc. I think the most rattling out of these for her is having to play dead on a street filled with the dead, not knowing if her friends are alive or if she is going to live through this. up until swift, she doesn’t really see the worst that groups like hydra can do; she sees the blood and the death and the injustice of soldiers running blindly in to die, but this incident really hits home for her that she’s putting herself in the way of bad, terrifying people, and the things they are capable of are scary.

What secrets does your OC have? she used to be a hydra agent. she’s open about it if she has to be, if someone finds this information out themselves she’s very upfront and will tell them the whole story and let them make their own decision, but she’ll keep it secret until that time, she’ll never be the one they hear it from.

What are some of your OC’s morals? usually her choices come down to just basic human decency, sadly; she believes people should be free to make their own choices and to live their own lives, safe and in peace. in the scope of swift, she wants the people of sokovia to be able to retain their country under their own control, she doesn’t believe that the invaders and the rising militia should be involved, and that they should be free to choose their own government, but she doesn’t really think that riots and bombs are the way to go about it.

What are some of your OC’s motivations? her own drive to be better than she has been in the past, to make up for the time she’d spent with hydra (even if the things she’d actively done for them were minimal), to find her way in the world and the place she’s meant to occupy.

What is the health of your OC? it’s good. lots of scars, the regular kind of aches and pains from living a very active lifestyle. as of swift, she has restricted movement in her shoulder from a bullet wound - not enough to really bother her day-to-day, but she’s given up archery since recovering.

Does your OC think with his/her head or heart? with her head

What are your OC’s thoughts on death? she hasn’t really come to terms with death yet - it’s a scary concept, and she’s young. mostly, she just tries not to think about it at all, even when it’s staring her right in the face. she could probably find peace with it when it happens, if it’s for the right cause.

What are some of your OC’s strengths? she’s willful, determined, brave, she can speak her mind when she needs to and she’s not afraid to tell people what she thinks or to fight for a change. she’s open to change herself, and she’s willing to learn, where she wasn’t in the past.

What are some of your OC’s weaknesses? she’s quick to anger and slow to forgive, she often picks a fight that she should refrain from and can easily hurt the ones she loves. she’s closed off and that turns away many people and loses her many opportunities. she has a negative mindset and low self-worth; she makes life harder for herself often.

How does your OC take criticism? not well. she’ll get angry and start an argument or storm off, and take a few hours or days to process. it depends who is offering her criticism as to whether she’ll come crawling back to apologise or if her pride will be too much to allow her to do that.

What does your OC think of him/herself? she doesn’t think very highly of herself. she’s acutely aware of her faults - that she’s too angry and hardheaded, that she doesn’t listen enough and isn’t particularly talented at anything. 

If your OC could change one thing about him/herself, what would it be? some days, she would say that she would change her whole personality, take out the anger or whatever it is that makes it so hard for her to sit down and listen, or forget her whole past. other days, she wouldn’t want to change anything at all, even though she’s a whole mess. she really wants the latter to be her answer, but she’s still learning to be okay with herself.

What is the general impression your OC gives other people? standoffish, strong personality bordering on rude, takes no shit, short-tempered, unfriendly.

How emotionally/mentally vulnerable is your OC with other people? on a scale of zero to ten, i’d give her a solid one. she’s closed off, pragmatic, and thinks she has to do everything alone. close friends might get more out of her, and she’s learning to be softer and more open, and to work with other people, but for the most part she isn’t giving anything away.

How does your OC display love? sarcasm, mostly. she doesn’t outwardly express it, really, especially in public, but she’s always there as support or to listen or offer advice, if she can. and she’s always trying to do better and to commit herself to the relationship, even if she doesn’t make a big show of it.

What are some habits your OC has picked up? clint’s coffee addiction has rubbed off on her. 

What is your OC’s favorite drink? it’s quickly becoming coffee

What is your OC’s favorite food? doritos

What is your OC’s favorite sweet? chocolate

What is your OC’s favorite season? autumn

What is your OC’s favorite kind of weather? sunny, but not too sunny

What is your OC’s favorite book? she doesn’t really read

What is your OC’s favorite movie and/or TV show? dog cops, she used to hate it but now she’s too invested to quit, shrek is her like, go-to movie when there’s nothing else which is weird and she’ll never admit it. but true.

What is your OC’s favorite kind of music (and song if there is one)? she listens to a whole bunch of different music, but her main genres would be pop, rock, rnb

What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment? TV/movies

What is your OC’s favorite color? blue

What is your OC’s favorite scent? salty sea air on a strong breeze. it’s just so crisp.

What is your OC’s favorite animal? she wasn’t a dog person until she met clint’s dogs. now she’s totally a dog person.

What is your OC’s favorite sound? s i l e n c e on a sunday morning.

What is your OC’s favorite time of day? morning, once she’s awake.

What is your OC’s favorite kind of ice cream? chocolate

What is your OC’s favorite dinosaur? pterodactyl

[bearballing]

so on thursday in the last 5 mins of work Something happened and i just fucking broke (NOT VISIBLY TO MY COWORKERS my Breakdowns don’t involve noise. the incident wasn’t even that bad but yknow the straw that breaks the camel’s back) and like i “found” the “perfect spot” to drive my car off for in case of need to die immediately emergencies and that whole evening i was just completely non-functional and it was bad. so i took friday off (i “““““faked”““““““ being sick) and holy shit did i get so much stuff done the past 3 days. stuff i WANTED to do. even stuff like cleaning bits of the house that needed it.

and now i’m like actually scared of going to work. because SOMETHING will always happen and i can’t fucking do it anymore. but what’s the point in quitting? it will be like this everyfuckingwhere i ever go. the NHS in the uk was literally the exception. i don’t care that i got paid far less, i would go back to it without hesitating if i could. absolutely nowhere and no one else would have been nice to me and appreciated me and been patient with me for that long.

i hate existing under capitalism, i hate having to give 50 hours every week to wanting to die and being physically and mentally exhausted WHILE ACTIVELY PRETENDING TO TOTAL STRANGERS THAT I AM FUCKING GREAT HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY.

what if my new medication doesn’t work??? what if it makes it worse? then what? i do not have the luxury of just quitting. we need this money. i can’t just live off the job centre for a while because there are no such things as benefits in the us not that the job centre was a “benefit” it was utter shit but it was £114 every 2 weeks.

nobody fucking deserves this life

[xkarkat-vantasx]

Kankri TL 1

Canonmates: none

Who i want to find: everyone to apologize lmao

Tw: major death that is the reust of the dreambubbles, suicide brief mentions

Shortt enough meenah told me to shut up and while we were alive i was very outspoken and was less ranty and just wanted to be helpful.

Being told to shut up was common and i was getting more and more angry and so the last straw was that. I snapped and idk how because i blacked out but i killed everyone. When i came to my senses i had noticed the jade blood was fressh and that i was kneeling. It was Cronus was in my lap, barely alive but not for long. I was so shocked and scared.

Cronus wasn't the best guy but literally none of us were.

He cared about me and i secretly loved him.

He would flirt with me on and off and i would just blush and pretend like it wasnt getting to me.

Seeing him look at me he laughed. He laughed and said "i dont blame you and im sorry. Wish i could have been a better friend" in the yknow. Cronus voice. And i started crying. He died and i kissed him lightly and then i killed myself.

Welp here are the dream bubbles where we just fuckin exist. It took me plenty of sweeps before i let myself try and talk to people

Meenah was still salty and yknow i dont really care but porrim, Cronus, latula, rufio, damara, and mituna were all worried because they hadn't seen me.

Well i apologized and meenah told me to grow a pair and to just move on with my life and so i did.

After being alone for so long it gave me time to study and evaluate myself. That the celibacy was an awful idea. Cut that shit out. It didnt matter. I was a romantic troll and i wanted some of that.

So i dated. Singularly and no quadrants. I liked doing things more in a human manor when it came to dating. Cronus enjoyed that.

I was a lanky troll here. Lanky but i was strong. Think slim muscle. I was average height and i had a case of big red eyed and long lashes.

Cronus was angular but soft? and scrappy man. He had a sweet face. His skin on his arms and face were rougher notnsuper rough though but his hands were soft except some places he grew callus. He wasnt mich taller than me but a little taller

Porrim was this tall curvy woman. Her tattoes gradually collected and i think it was damara who did them. She was firm and basically punk aunt that takes you out either for a cool night or to kick your ass when you did something awful.

I cant remember the rest too well but id love yo talk to anyone who remembers more.

[crowshira]

1-47? Or whatever questions you like?

Y’know, I got time.

I’m good with doing all of them, so bet. >:)

leggo!!

1) Do you want a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?

I have a datemate already, lol (i wuvva them so much uwu).

2) When did your last hug take place?

Uh. Probably today lol. Then again, the last hug I did was when I hugged a cat this morning, so,,, yep lol

3) Are you a jealous person?

When it comes to physical possessions, no. When it comes to my significant other…. Yea…

4) Are you tired right now?

Am I ever not tired lmao

5) Do you chew on your straws?

Oh >.> Yeah actually lol. Better than grinding my teeth because I’m bored tho

6) Have you ever been called a tease?

...no :v

nods

moving on

7) Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Yep! My record for longest time w/o sleep is almost 4 days!!

8) Do you cry easily?

No, and sometimes I wish that wasn’t the case :P

9) What should you be doing right now?

I have no clue lol

10) Are you a heavy sleeper?

Yea… I have like- 9 alarms and have managed to sleep through them all some days

11) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

It depends on who I’m with and how they are. My current relationship has been going almost 9 months and counting tho ^^

12) Are you mad at someone right now?

Not mad exactly, but there are a few people I dislike pfft

Otherwise, im oki

13) Do you believe in love?

Yep .3.

14) What makes you laugh no matter what?

The dumb talks I have with my friends sometimes pff

15) Who was the last person you talked to?

Mi father :vv

16) Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Actually << no :v when im with them, thats tbh when i feel very very comfortable

17) Will you get married?

tbh i rly hope to wif mi s/o >>

18) When was the last time you smiled?

and i noticed? maybe last night uwu

19) Does anyone like you?

you can say that .3. err well, i hope so LOL

20) Do you secretly like someone?

i dun needa secretly like someone cuz i already have someone to publicly like :v

21) Who was the first person you talked to today?

mi s/o uwu we woke up on a facetime

22) Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

whaaaaaaaale, mi s/o, mi friends, yknow

23) What are you NOT looking forward to?

...college, but not because of the work or difficulty

24) What ARE you looking forward to?

Transferring from my community college to my college of choice in two years :vv

25) Has someone ever told you they loved you and meant it?

yep lol

26) Suppose you see your ex kissing another person. What would you do?

welllll, if it were mi current s/o, probably cry and die on the inside but accept that thats how it is sometimes x.x

27) Do you plan on moving out in the next year?

i have no clue lol. its kinda useless to dorm at my community college since i live p close

28) Are you a forgiving person?

for the most part, yea lol ive given people hella chances before

29) How many TRUE friends do you have?

im gonna say,,, 5?? 6??? i’unno

30) Do you fall for people easily?

Not easily, maybe,,, moderately??

31) Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

wh- ._. no wth

32) What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

MY DI- i mean, m&ms

33) Who was the last person you drove with?

mi father :v

34) How late did you stay up last night and why?

Slept at 2:45am-ish because was watching movies and facetiming wif mi s/o uwu

35) If you could move somewhere else, would you?

oh- thats- thats tough. maybe??

36) Who was the last person you took a picture of?

...me

lol

37) Can you live a day without TV?

dude i barely watch TV anymore lol

38) When was the last time you were really disappointed?

A few days ago LOL

39) Three names you go by?

Tristan, Tris, Trist

40) Are you currently in a relationship?

yep ^^ 9 months and counting yo

41) What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

...five feet apart was good

but ah-

idk thats the only romance film i can remember

42) Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?

I actually believe people can have multiple soulmates

for one, theres poly relationships

and two, just- people have soulmates that help them grow and change as a person permanently imo

43) What’s your current problem?

uhm. anxiety mostly.

44) Have you ever had your heart broken?

y e s. that shit hurt LOL

45) Your thoughts on long distance relationships?

I may be in one for the next two years. All I can say is : they can work out if all parties are willing to dedicate themselves and be true to each other.

46) Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

dude heck yea

the only serious relationship ive ever been in (this one), my s/o was the one that confessed first LOL so- yea

im too shy .///.

and thats all of it!! pff

[icharchivist]

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/