#‘why do you only like children’s stuff’ eh. cuz i like when stuff can be messed up and real

[goldensunset]

in my experience i didn’t get interested in kingdom hearts by watching or playing anything first. i got interested by watching people post about cute anime children murdering each other and i was like ‘fascinating. i wonder how this got past the disney censors. let’s find out’

[screwzara]

What if after the Reunion at M.A.T.A bbb and Ali's friends exchange numbers and make a gc where they rant/rave about all the stupid thing bbb and Ali do.

Like imagine:

Bbb friends or yaya: bbb just did 'insert stupid self sacrificing act that will absolutely give tok aba high blood pressure and make his friends go grey before 20' and I kind of want to hug him and punch him at the same time.

Young Agents will be sympathetic and talk about all the crazy things Ali did that gave them high blood pressure.

Like imagine Fang and Rudy bonding over being kinda rivals/very very civil enemies with Ali and bbb but would still 100 PERCENT fight/kill anyone who dares hurt him.

And yaya and ying would bond with Alicia and Iman about being the only ones in the group with any self-preservation. ATTEMPTING to stop ali and bbb from doing stupid things.

Gopal and Viktor (maybe Kai too) talking about video games together and their best friends kinda worrying mental health slash COMPLICATED home life. Ghazali doesn't know his son is a literal child soldier/unpaid intern. Amato knows his son is a superhero but never showed up for all the traumatic events. (Where his son could've DIED)

Maybe Papa Zila and Uncle Bakar talk about being totally unprepared to take care of a bunch of demon chaos children.

The possibility are endless

Sorry for the ramble

OH this is the good stuff

Their friends be in solidarity, hehe

--------------------------------------------

Group chat:

Ying: God damn it, is bbb with you guys?

Yaya: We've been trying to find him for the past 20 minutes

Fang: he better be close by, he's on bed rest from a recent mission

Rudy: Oh, i saw bbb with Ali earlier. Don't know what they're up to so I've been following them

Iman: Wait what, rudy

Moon: Eeeee why didn't you ask us to join????

Rudy: because

Alicia: just tell us where they are

Yaya: Oh btw how r the others doing?

Moon: they're fine, just a little beat up is all

Gopal: eh u guys were talking without me

Ying: says the one who disappeared from our sight

Alicia: was this group worth it

The others are offline and resting rn

Meanwhile... (boboiboy showing him pictures of power spheres and talking about them):

Ali: Omg omg omg-

Boboiboy: hehe, calm down ali

Ali: how can I calm down that is awesome i

(XD this is the best)

Papa Zola and Uncle Bakar:

Papa Zola: Looks like BBB knows your kid

Bakar: he does, they've been friends for a while

....

Papa Zola(whispering into Bakar's ear): how do u deal these kids

Bakar(whispering back): i have nooooo idea

--------------------------------------------

Their friends will probably notice that bbb and ali act like brothers at some point and try to tease them about it and Ali would get really flustered

Bbb on the other hand would be a little confused at the conclusion(though he should have seen that coming since they literally call each other Abang and Adik sometimes)

--------------------------------------------

Bonus ->

Amato and Dr. Ghazali's friendship is... An odd one.

With added troubles that have been plaguing Amato's life, he hasn't been able to find much time to contact him though.

Ghazali has... kept a few memoirs of Amato, Mechabot, his wife and Aliya. Ali's presence helps with the loneliness(he liked it when bbb visited cuz neither he nor his son had to be alone those days)

[my-white-canvas]

Something New ft. Demon slayer breathing

Jumping with joy that you finally got you stuff back, no reception but still TECHNOLOGY IN YOUR GRASP hahahahahahaahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

After months with no entertainment other than Mother stuck in your head, you can listen to your saved songs, watch your saved Tiktoks, "wait can Mother and Selena even catch the humor in these Tiktoks, Violet probably gets these but-"

"Oooooo what are Tiktoks?"

"Uuuuuuummmmm- how do I say this, lets just say their for entertainment purposes"

"Ah interesting"

"Y/n, my lady pardon my intrusion but may I ask what do these things do?"

"Oh my, these are some of the many things that Y/n's world has made, their world has made many things that what they call a scientific breakthrough, very commendable"

"You sound like you just found that out"

"Hey! I just made it sound like that so they'd understand"

"Violet I require a puppet vessel immediately, I will take vengeance upon that foolish yaksha that has forsaken my child" mother said in a somewhat eerily friendly tone

"Eh! Already but-"

"How can I protect my sweet beloved child from those hypocrites from their head!!"

"Isn't that a little too sudden, surely you could wait a little more"

"NO MY SWEET PEA CANNOT BE TOUCHED BY THOSE SO-CALLED ACOLYTES HANDS!!!"

"My lady may I ask maybe if there were a faster way to help Y/n's condition"

"Uhh-"

"See Vi even your envoy agrees with me"

"I don't think that's what she meant"

"But some deformations could happen if the puppets body isn't strong enough-"

"I DON'T CARE, IM MAKING HIM SUFFER 10x WORSE THAN THAT KARMA HE ALREADY HAS"

"Fine but may take at least a month to help get used to it even with the deformity"

"The sooner the better"

"Wow Mother's acting out of character with this tantrum and I'm supposed to be the child"

"Well there's no stopping her now cuz the last time she was mad... well she... Uhhh... You don't wanna know"

"Now I'm curious about what happened"

"Ah and before I wanted to give you guys a lil something, lemme just take Teyvat out first"

"HEY!!"

Violet handed you and Selena one sword each, Selena's sword looked very similar to Shinobu's sword, stinger-like and a thick sheath. Yours looked much like Mitsuri's, a flexible and whip-like blade.

"I'll be leaving 2 puppets to train you two individually so you can learn how to fight and not die from of the 7 nations attempt to pursue you two"

Violet left and you were transported to a remote area at the foot of a mountain with what looked like an abandoned mansion but it was still in good condition.

However when Xiao arrived at the abandoned shrine you and the others were gone, he failed his mission to glorify the Divine Creator's name, a sin that can never be forgiven.

"Welcome Y/n- sama, Lady Violet has instructed us to train you both in your reserved breathing techniques"

(I put sama cuz I dunno how to make it gn)

"Lady Selena will be trained in the Insect Breathing technique and Y/n will be trained in the Love Breathing technique."

You were shocked on the two children behind jumpscaring you like that and Selena was poker faced the whole time but her body jolted from the surprising orders of Violet's puppets.

"Hold on a second, breathing styles exist?"

The two puppets nodded in agreement.

"Do we start now?"

"Yes"

1 year later

Selena has mastered the insect breathing and he speed, agility and mobility increased drastically and your natural strength (that came with the puppet body) had heighten to the brim.

It was unnatural for an entire year without Mother even if you've only been talking to her for a few months

After watching Demon Slayer with Selena on your break you were interrupted by a young boy with a tall woman and she was very tall you could compare her to Slenderman, she also had long curly green hair with an intimidating gaze.

"Hey it's been a while"

"That child sounded like-"

"Good Afternoon Master"

"You have trained them well, thank you"

"V- Violet?! Is dat you? And why are you a child"

"Stealth my dear, Stealth"

"Yeah with Lady Dimitrescu the second here"

Before Violet could say anything the tall woman picked you up and hugged the shit out of you which felt like something Mother would do-

The it hit you Lady D the second was Mother and the freakishly tall height was the deformity, that made sense and was probably what Violet was about to say.

Mother was on her knees to get down to your level of height as she was about to say something age saw you in the brink of tears trying not to cry and Selena at the corner looked like she was about to ball her eyes out, Mother just hugged you gently as you cry like there's no tomorrow but still trying to hold back tears because you didn't want your first memory of holding your otherworld mother to be a crying mess. Violet was letting Selena cry her eyes out on her.

-----------------------

Cliffhanger the best way to leave it off and why did I train them to be demon slayers because season 2 baby SEASON 2!!!!!

Anyway should I continue on the more angsty ending at the fluffy ending, yes I planed two endings

[propshophannah]

Am I the only one who thought the book had a lot of sexist undertones? Like preemptively modifying your body to MAYBE one day give birth to your man's (male's) babies? I feel like the IC never tried to let Nesta heal in her own way, they just forced her to do things they thought would be good for her, while demeaning her along the way. And the shield thing around Feyre is very reminiscent of how Tamlin treated her in ACOTAR... I don't know, a lot of the book just made me uncomfortable :/

Hi Nonnie!

First, I want to say that I’m sorry parts of this book made you uncomfortable. That’s never fun. Second…

I think we can reasonably say that no matter what we’re looking at, we can find sexism if we want to. Now that doesn’t mean that some things are not just blatantly sexist. I think with this book there is a conversation to be had about what some of us read as sexist and what some of us read as not sexist or even pro different-forms-of-feminism.

It’s sort of in the eye of the beholder.

It’s also a fantasy world that has developed under a patriarchy. So some things are just as sexist as they “should be” because that’s the world building, right? 

So, like, territorial Fae males is fully explained in the world building and is therefore fully acceptable for the books, and is also, frankly, a kink. SJM caters to that kink. So we know we’re going to get that in these books. Most if their shit is NOT okay for planet Earth. (That’s why some of us actively seek it and enjoy reading it in books.)

So let’s get in it!

Nesta modifying her body

Now as far as Nesta modifying her own body to have children one day, I don’t see that as sexist at all. Because the alternative to her altering her own anatomy is her pausing for a moment and asking Cassian if she can strip him of his faerie race and make him something else that doesn’t have wings. If that happened, we’d be getting into race and identity and all kinds of other shit that is hella problematic. 

So, no. Nesta wanting to one day birth her own children is not sexist. Nesta deciding to alter her own anatomy so that she can safely birth her own children with Cassian, is not sexist. (Now if Cassian did it without permission, then we’d have a problem!)

The IC making Nesta heal their way

Now THIS is a conversation on choice. Not sexism. Rhys has long touted that his court is a court of choices and all that. So forcing Nesta to either go to the human lands (where she’ll very likely die) or go to the House of Wind (where she can’t readily leave) and train and work everyday, is a problem. If you want to make an argument that this is the equivalent of Tamlin locking Feyre in the house, I won’t stop you. I would only ask that you consider the nuance. 

And the nuance here takes us back to world building. They don’t have psychiatric wards or mental health services or rehab centers like we do on planet Earth. Nesta needed help. AND LET ME BE REAL CLEAR: I’m not here to debate what kind of help she needed. (We could run in circles all day long debating that.) What I am saying is that they recognized that: 

Nesta’s behavior was not good, 

that THEY WERE ENABLING HER, 

that they actually had the power to do something about her situation

They do not live in a democracy. They live in a monarchy. They have and hold absolute power and rule. And while that whole intervention—or whatever the fuck that was—was absolutely TERRRRIBLE, they had every right to do what they did. Why? Because it fit the world building.

They acted like rich parents fed up with a wild teenager so they cut her off and gave her a choice between getting kicked out of the house or going to work on grandpa’s farm in the middle of BFE. Essentially that’s what they did.

Do I agree with it? Eh... they didn’t have a lot of options and SOMETHING needed to happen (I’d have been VERY ANGRY had they left her to die like that). Do I like it? FUCK NO. They went about it all wrong and it was shitty.

Abandoning her in the human lands would have been fucking murder. But do you HONESTLY, HONESTLY think Feyre would have done that??? ALSO, LET’S BE REAL: Nesta would not have stayed there long because EVERY HIGH LORD knows about her power and would want her in their court. That whole shit about the human lands likely was NOT real and was a scare tactic. It was a shitty scare tactic. But again, it fit the world building. AND Nesta’s character (cuz it worked, she didn’t ask to go to the human lands). 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

This isn’t directed at you Nonnie, but what did people think would happen? There would suddenly be psych wards and rehab centers and Feyre and Rhys would start acting with compassion and kindness and like they themselves had gone to therapy for decades and suddenly be able to convince Nesta to sign herself into one of those facilities? 

I get it’s annoying. And it’s infuriating. And some of their bullshit talking out their ass moments made me want to throw the book across the damn room. Because that’s not how you act to people in the middle of a downward spiral/crisis like Nesta was. 

But here’s the thing: they have no basis for knowing better. They don’t have mental health services. Gwyn mentioned a priestess who counsels them, but that’s NOT the same thing as a therapist or psychologist or psychiatric NP or psychiatrist.

So what did people expect?

Also. Do you think for one second, Nesta would have responded well to compassionate attempts to get her help? She hadn’t hit rock bottom yet (where compassion would have worked wonderfully *depending* on the type of rock bottom she hit). She would have seen any attempt like that as pity and she would have rebelled.

Here’s how I get over being annoyed with Feysand and Amren for that dumb af “intervention” moment: I remind myself that

They recognized she couldn’t keep going down the path she was going.

They recognized that they loved her too much to let that happen (Feyre at least). 

They recognized that they held ABSOLUTE POWER over her in their realm

They recognized that they needed to put her in a place where she had a purpose, a routine, where she couldn’t fall back on old habits, and where she had the option to talk to other trauma survivors (if she chose to) 

That’s what they knew. Putting her in the House was their only choice. So they did. And guess what? It worked. 

Now, the forcing her to train thing was BULLSHIT. You can’t force other people to change, they have to want that for themselves. But guess what? Turns out Nesta wanted to change. Because she wasn’t against training. She was only against doing it in a place where she could be judged. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Also, exercising is FUCKING FANTASTIC for mental health. (Maas knows that.)

Now did they demean her along the way? Yes. 

Was it shitty? HELL, YES! 

Did Rhys finally learn his lesson that night with the nightmare? He sure af did! 

Did some people in the fandom expect too much from Amren? Yep. Lady was never going to show affection or be nice to Nesta. Amren shows respect. When you respect Amren, she respects you. That’s her ENTIRE character. We’re three books in with Amren. Idk why people are still butthurt about her personality. Like. You can’t get mad at Amren for not being a table when she’s always been a chair. (Doesn’t mean we have to like her behavior or anyone else’s. But it does mean that we only have ourselves to blame when she acts the way she always has.) This same logic applied to Mor and Feyre and Elain etc.

Also. Did them acting like assholes drive the plot forward? IT SURE AF DID! If they had acted differently the book wouldn’t be as good as it is.

The shield around Feyre

If you want to make the argument about how this is a Tamlin thing to do, I won’t stop you. But again, I’ll ask you to consider the nuance and the world building. 

In a world where anyone can scent a pregnancy, would you not try to hide your ruler’s pregnant scent and body from enemies and potential attacks? I would! 

Is it a little territorial? Yes. 

Does that make sense for the world building and what we know about Fae males? Yep! 

Could Feyre have told Rhys to cut the shit? Yes. 

Is it possible Feyre *maybe* use the lie of Rhys and Helion(?) having fun with shield as an excuse to have it around herself? Yeah. I’d probably do it. 

Look, if Feyre hadn’t wanted the shield, it would have been gone. They said it was a compromise, but you can’t tell me Rhys would force a shield around her against her own will (or that she, The Cursebreaker, wouldn’t bust through it in a heartbeat).

Sorry if this comes off as salty, Nonnie! I don’t mean to be. I just don’t really understand why people get mad at stuff in books *that’s perfectly reasonable* for the world building when the alternative that they would prefer would be out of character, out the world building, or create plot holes etc. 

Hope this helps!

[knight-queen]

Lunatic Parade Subaru Sakamaki–⁠ (Chapter 2)

[Chapter 1]

Place: ??? (BG black)

Yui: (nng…)

(Huh, what time is it…?)

(Last night, I was having difficulties in sleeping so I couldn’t sleep well…)

(...? Oh no...I can’t move my body…! Bu- but why…!?)

???: ….Zzz

Yui: (Someone...is here...!?)

Place: ホテル•モーントシュタイン  客室 / Hotel • Mortstein,Guest room

Yui: 一Su- Subaru kun!?

(Lemme think? Why’s he sleeping on my bed…!?)

(Could it be I accidentally fell asleep here…? ...Nope, it’s no way…)

Subaru: nnh…

Yui: (Wa- What should I do! He is about to wake up…!?)

*Subaru gets up*

Subaru: ….ah?

Yui: Err...that’s...Good morn- ning?

Subaru: ...Yeah….hm?

That’s, Yo- you!? Uwaa! Why are you here!? *blushing*

Didn’t I warn ye’ not to enter on the other side!?

*Subaru backs off*

Yui: You misunderstood! This is my portion…!

Subaru: Haah!? That’s not一

Yui: Then look! My Rosary is on this bed-side…

Subaru: ……

Yui: (What can I do, he isn’t saying anything…)

*Subaru stops blushing*

Subaru: Oh...I see now...yesterday…

Haah…

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...How’s your health today?

Yui: Eh…? Health? I haven’t felt anything recently though…

Subaru: ...Then, it’s good.

Yui: (Why does that mean…?)

Saying that...why were you sleeping on my bed-part…?

Subaru: ...kh...that’s ‘cuz…*blushing*

...Shuddup! That doesn’t even matter!

Yui: Eeh...but I’m curious…

(Because...he strictly prohibited not to enter on the other side…)

Subaru: ……

Yui: ……

Subaru: ...Tch! Aaah, damn it!

Got it, if you’ll be satisfied if I say it, then I’ll!!

...You’re...having a nightmare last night.

Yui: Eh…?

Subaru: When I was sleeping on my side, I heard you making painful noises and...

That’s why...I go there to check out your state.

...Was it my bad?

Yui: Oh…

(Last night, it wasn’t a dream that I felt my chest hurt…)

(Because of that, Subaru kun has...slept…)

You were worried for me, right?

Subaru: Wha...I didn’t really worry or something like…*blushing*

Yui: Fufu…

Subaru: Shit, don’t laugh!

*Screen shakes + Subaru gets closer*

Yui: Kyaa…!?

Don’t pull off my arm so suddenly…!

Subaru: Shuddup! I’m gonna sleep twice.

Yui: Eeeh…!?

Subaru: Just be quiet and embrace me…!

*Hugs her tighter*

Yui: (Oh come on. We must have to get up by right now...but…)

(Last night, I am sure he had been concerned for my health all the time…)

(Just a little bit...should be fine, no?)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グ��ンマーストリート 表通り

Yui: The antique art dealer that you’ve mentioned yesterday...do you know where he is?

Subaru: Yeah...but saying the truth, I don’t wanna drag myself near him…

Yui: Is he such a weird person…?

Subaru: Weird you say...He’s a narrow-minded guy who always comes up with a disagreement for some reasons.

Even for the father, he is a damn crap old-uncle who always shows-off around. 

Yui: You didn’t have to explain it in such a cruel manner…

Subaru: Hmph…

Subaru: However...this old uncle is the only guy who can resist my father. 

By putting it that way, that guy is incredible, I think.

Yui: Oh...I see now…

(The one who can resist Karl-Heinz san...then he should be a pretty amazing right…)

(I wonder what kind of person he is…)

Subaru: I am sure he lives around this area…

Oh, here it is...let’s enter.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/ アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一 Oi, Ye’ here?

Antique Art Dealer: Hmm…?

Ooh! You’re the youngest kid of the Sakamaki.

Yui: (This person is the artist of the antique…)

Antique Art Dealer: You were so small in the past…

Now you’ve grown up so much, like walking in the future carrying a woman huh.

...I think she looks like a young girl having a plugged-nose though.

Yui: Pu- pugged nose…!?

(How awful…)

Subaru: Tch…

...Don’t care about him that much. I told that he's narrow-minded and has a disagreement with everything, right?

Yui: Y- yes…

Antique Art Dealer: So, what’s up today? For you coming in this place is rather rare.

Did Karl-Heinz assign you any mission or something? Heheh…

Subaru: Ye’ aren’t even close, that old man has no connection with it.

...Do you know that guy called Earl Walter?

Antique Art Dealer: Hm….

Subaru: I had smashed several furnishings of his castle yesterday.

Antique Art Dealer: ...You did?

Subaru: Yeah.

Antique Art Dealer: Ho...you see...the furnishings of the Walter are…

Pfft….Hahahah! Oh my, I see! You breaked them huh!

That was the masterpiece thing you did!

Yaay, you did well, youngest kid of Sakamaki!

Yui: Eh…

(He seems to be laughing so much…!?)

Subaru: O- oi…?

Antique Art Dealer: What are you trying to hide? I strongly hate that guy.

Yui: Is that so…?

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, absolutely. For telling the truth, he has stolen my treasures in the past.

Since then, I just continued hating and hating him…

For this, I become overjoyed hearing this, you know!

Yui: (I get it...so that was the reason…)

Antique Art Deal: I think I can repair the implements in his castle other than the goods in his treasure house.

Subaru: You mean it!?

Yui: That’s a relief….!

Antique Art Deal: Since you had blown up the hell out of that guy then...I shall help you.

Which stuff do you wanna repair?

Yui: A jar, sculpture and a painting…

Antique Art Dealer: I get the point. If that's the case then I can manage somehow I think. Hold on a sec.

*Walks away*

Yui: Looks like at the end we can come up with something, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: Yeah, I believe so…

*Pulling something big*

Antique Art Dealer: I appreciate your waiting. What about this thing?

These things are quite similar with those types of implements, right?

Subaru: Yeah, almost like that.

Yui: Then...if we give these to Earl Walter, he may pardon us…!

Subaru: Yup, we appreciate it. Then We’re takin’ out leav一

Antique Art Dealer: Hold ittt!

*Slaps Subaru*

Subaru: Ouch…! What the hell are ye’ doin’!?

Antique Art Dealer: Who said I’ll do these for free!

Subaru: Haah!? Did you say you’re gonn’ help us out!?

Antique Art Dealer: If you sound like having complaints then I won't hand these over to you.

Subaru: Ghh…

...Oh! Then I am gonna go to the human world and get some money from that old father.

That’s why...let us make an exchange with these.

Antique Art Dealer: Hmph, I don’t even slightly agree that Karl-Heinz will take out money for such things.

Subaru: ….kkh….

Yui: Then...what can we do for the charge…?

Antique Art Dealer: Let’s see…

If you can hand me three things that I’ll order, then I am gonna exchange these things.

Well, if I put in other others, those things should be close to my hand-maid things.

Yui: Hand-maid…

Subaru: Tch….annoying but...that’s the only way.

一一Understood. We’ll get them for you.

Antique Art Dealer: ...Told you, right? Then, let’s tie up our discussions here.

Yui: What should we search to begin with?

Antique Art Dealer: ...The head-mask of a clown. That should be an antique item.

Subaru: HAAH!? Why the heck you need such a thing!?

Antique Art Dealer: That’s because I want that, so you can’t blame it.

If you don’t want to then you don’t have to, ya’ know? Since I am not allowing exchange if so. 

Subaru: ...Told ye’ that I am gonna do it! I’m gonna search for that right away so wait!...What a shit!

Place: サントノレパーク通り /  Saint Honoré Park Street

Yui: It’s much crowded that I’ve thought…

Subaru: Ahh...ear sore…

Yui: (It's a parade after all so we have to endure these…)

一Ah! There is a clown right ahead! I think there’s gonna be a performance onward.

(It was a great decision for visiting the amusement park. Because, after it if we ask about the head-mask to the clown, then一)

Vampire Child A: Oh! It’s a clown! Hurry up and come 一!

Vampire Child B: Hold on一!

Clown A: There, there. Don’t push each other, okay~!

Yui: (Wah, it’s a huge crowd...I can’t get near him at all…)

Subaru: Oi, what are ye’ gonna do? There’re so many kids so we can’t get to him.

Yui: Umm...at this rate, the performance is gonna begin soon…

(What shall we do…)

Clown B: ...What shall we do?

Clown C: I can’t answer even if you ask...it’s a weekend after all…

Yui: (Hm? Over there are…)

Look, the clowns are getting prepared over there. Let’s talk with them.

I think they are having some kind of trouble…

*Walks over there*

Yui: Excuse us…

Clown B: Yes?

Yui: Did something happen? You look somehow troubled…

Clown C: Oh...that’s...the clown who was supposed to play main role in this performance,

Cannot show up for getting an injury…

Vampire Child A: So we can’t start!

Vampire Child B: I am getting sick of waiting!

Yui: (Ah...there children are…)

Clown A: ...Kh, We can’t buy ourselves time anymore! What should we do!?

Yui: Tell us! Is there anything we can do to help you?

Clown B: Eeeh!? But…

Subaru: Ha? Oi, what are ya’ sayi…

Clown C: No...maybe you can. If you lend us a hand in the fountain-show then…

...Certainly...if you do that much then...At this moment, that’s the only way.

Subaru: What’re ye’ thinking? It’s now way...we can help ‘em!

Yui: Sorry for deciding all of these even if you’re refusing to….

But, if we help, then we can have a talk with them as early as possible…

Subaru: ………

Clown A: Can you please do it for us?

Subaru: ...Certainly...we won’t have a delay talking with ‘em if we do so…

...Understood, we’ll do it.

Clown C: That’ll be a great help! But...we’re lacking time so, please get ready right away.

Yui: Yeah…!

*After a moment*

Clown A: Alright, dear people! Thank you so much for your long wait!

Clown B: After a moment, we’re going to show everyone in a fantasy world.

Yui: (Aight...let’s do my best…!)

→Game 

Words Subaru said in the game 一

What're you doing? Get started.

Looks like we’re done.

If you win 一

*Audiences’ claps *

Yui: (Have we done it...perfectly…?)

Vampire Child A: Ohh! Wonderful!

Vampire Child B: The fountain-show was so incredible, right…!

Clown A: Thank you very much! You succeed so well!

Yui: Really….!? We did it, Subaru kun!

*Yui hugs Subaru*

Subaru: Uwaah…!?

*Fades to CG*

Yui: (What a relief...we get that right…!)

Subaru: O- oi! Lemme go!

Yui: Eh?

Vampire Child A: Look! It’s a couple, a couple!!

Vampire Child B: Right~! A lovely-dovely one~!

Yui: ...kh…!

(I was so happy that I….!)

Yui: Ah, Subaru kun, that’s...err, I didn’t mean to do it…!

Vampire Child B: Couple~! Couple~!

Subaru: Tch…! Ya’ll are being damn noisy!

Vampire Child A: Uwaa! We got him mad! Let’s escape!!

*Run*

Subaru: Fuck…!

Yui: (Uuh...and also, what was I doing….so embarrassing….!)

*CG Fades*

Yui: S- sorry, I did something weird so suddenly…!

Subaru: Geez…

Clown C: Phew, thanks to you two, the show has ended up smoothly.

Furthermore, you absolutely deserve larger congrats than I’d expected!

Clown B: Honestly, thank you a lot!

Yui: (I’m glad that we’ve come out handy to them.)

Clown A: 一Once again, we’re expressing our gratefulness for supporting us.

Clown B: As a thank you, please recommend to us what can we give you as a present.

Yui: Err...Actually, if you could manage us a thing that we have been searching…

Subaru: 一 This one. Can you recall seeing something like this?

Clown C: This is…

Yui: (Ah...that photo was…)

Subaru: It’s a head-mask used by a clown. If you have it, then please give it to us.

Clown A: Oh...it looks like an old-modeled head-mask. I hope it is left out in the warehouse...

However, you have helped us so much after all, so we’ll search up the warehouse for you.

Yui: You mean it!? Thank you…!

Clown A: Then, we’re gonna go there to search….can we request you to wait here for a while?

Yui: We’re counting on you!

*Goes away*

Yui: That’s good right, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: If they find it, then yes…

Yui: (...Looks like we’re having a freetime. What can we do…)

Oh...tell me Subaru kun. We’re having some time so let’s play something cool?

Subaru: Huh?

Yui: It’s boring if we just wait here plus…

Subaru: ...What do you wanna ride?

Yui: Err...let’s see….Oh, what about Merry-Go-Round?

Subaru: HAAAH!? Which fool is gonna ride such a childish thing!?

Yui: Ah…

(So we can’t huh...I really wanted to ride something together…)

Subaru: ……..

Tch…

*Walks away*

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...What’re ye’ standing like a statue for? Hurry up.

Yui: Eh...hurry up but why…

Subaru: Huh...you wanna ride, no? Come along before I change my mood to ride.

Yui: ...Mhm!

*After a while*

Yui: Haa, it was fun…!

Subaru: Which side was fun….such stuff was just embarrassing! *blushing*

For starters...You ended up choosing that horse-drawn vehicle…

For making me ride on like a clerk...of that horse…!

If ye’ make me do so next time, then I’ll blow ye’ up…!

Yui: (Certainly it was embarrassing of two of us riding together but…)

I enjoyed riding with you, thank you for that.

Subaru: …ngh…*blushed*

Well...if you’d enjoyed it then it’s okay but….I won’t gonn’ face such a ride next time!

Clown A: 一Sorry for making you wait!

Yui: Oh, you are…

Subaru: You’ve found that?

Clown A: It was...expectedly way much old, so it wasn’t left in our warehouse.

Subaru: Haah!?

Yui: S- such…!

Clown A: However, if I take the correct conjecture then you may find it in the dress shop of this town.

Yui: Dress shop…

(Then we should go there I think.)

Thanks a lot for giving us valuable information. We’re going to that shop then.

Clown A: Yup. Take care…!

Place: Glimmer Street, Aizen back street

Subaru: 一Where can we find that dress shop?

Yui: Umm...according to the map we received earlier, that should be around here.

Right ahead of that crowd, I guess…?

Subaru: Crowd….I’m sick of that.

Yui: Ahaha, you’re right…

(By the way, I wonder if it’s just my imagination to have a bad feeling about it…)

Place: Dress Shop /ドレスショップ

Yui: ………

Subaru: ………

Why is it crowded here too…!

Yui: Y- yes…

(The bad-feeling that I was having was true after all…!)

Umm...excuse me. Anything going on here?

Vampire Woman A: Yeah, there’s going to be a fashion show.

Yui: Fashion show!?

If the fashion is gonna start then I bet the workers in this shop are busy…

Subaru: Ahh...crowds are annoying too. So, let’s wait until it’s over.

Yui: Right...let’s wait then…

(Fashion show of the Demon World huh, I am bit interested一)

???: 一Ah! Hey you there!

Subaru: Aah?

Yui: (Hm…?)

???: I want you to follow me!

*She pulls Subaru*

Subaru: Aaah? What’s so sudden!?

Dress shop owner: I am the owner of this shop. I’ll explain everything inside that room. Anyway, come!

Subaru: Oi, hold it!

Yui: Ah, wait….!

(What on this earth going on…? I should just follow them…)

Place: Dressing Room / 試着室

Yui: (She has brought us very inside this shop…)

Dress shop owner: My apologies for bringing you here so suddenly but please get changed into this costume.

Subaru: Haah!? You’re doing these so abruptly! Why the heck is going on!

Dress shop owner: ...Right, I was forcing you way much…

For here on, we’re going to perform a fashion show here, however…

It was frustrating that there wasn’t a single model out there to wear my masterpiece costume.

I was able to find substitutes from the time being but none of them were perfectly suitable.

However, in the meantime you show up! You’re an ideal model for this.

Yui: (Subaru kun….a model…)

Subaru: Stop fussing around! Who’s gonna do such a shit!

Dress shop owner: No refusal! I’ll make you to be the model by any means!

I bet you’re gonna be pleased with the costume that I created.

Subaru: Hmph, what an absurd one. Oi, we’re going back.

Yui: Ah, but….

(We must have to ask them about that head-mask…)

(Above that…)

*BGM stops*

(I am very interested in seeing Subaru kun participating in the fashion show…!)

Tell me, Subaru kun...it’s a great offer so please participate in it?

Subaru: AAAAH!? You’re also saying these!?

Yui: ….Please do!

Plus...please lend me your ear a bit?

*Subaru gets closer + Yui whispers*

Yui: You see, it may be the right chance for us to ask them about the head-mask…!

Subaru: ...gh…

Dress shop owner: I have no clue what you’re mumbling for…

But I am begging you too. Because you can be the supreme model for sure.

Subaru: ………

….Lend that thing. I’m gonna wear it.

*Starts putting on*

Yui: Subaru kun…!

Dress shop owner: Woo! Thanks a lot! Then come here please!

Yui: (I am looking forward to the upcoming…!)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

*Shutter sounds of taking photos*

Yui: (Every single model has so cool styles. I can’t help but to admire them…)

(Subaru kun’s turn hasn’t come yet…)

Dress shop owner: Alright, so our last display will be this costume of our pride!

Yui: (Ah, he shows up…!)

*Louder Applause + Shutters* 

Monologue一

The appearance of Subaru who modelled was looking so cool that anyone’d get caught in his enchantment.

...It was rather a displeasing mood for me though.

He was in an unusual appearance or for something else, I was feeling like he was refreshed.

The shop-owner who stood by this Subaru kun 一一

She is so beautiful too.

I was just curious that...two of them who were getting captured in photos taken by others, what conversations they were having while having short distance in between them.

End of Monologue

*Shutters*

Dress shop owner: The visitors are congrating us so much…!

Come on, you also shake your hand with these audiences.

*Swats her hand*

Subaru: 一Don’t you freely touch my hand.

||気安い means actually friendly or familliarly. However, I thought ‘freely’ would go smoothly with the sentence. However, the more literal concept would be “Don’t touch my hand treating so friendly / familiar with me.

Yui: (Ah…! Subaru kun just shook off the shop-owner’s hand.)

Subaru: I’m engaged. Hand-shake with someone else.

||Spoilers! 予約済み means engage / reservation. I am pretty much sure he meant engaged. Because it reflects a clue about ‘engaging’ to the dress-shop owner. :p But some translators may also translate like “I am reserved here. Touch other else” x’D However it would sound weird or logicless since ‘reservation’ has nothing to do with ‘touching hand’. The next sentence, it makes it more obvious :’)

Dress shop owner: Oh my…

...Fufu, it’s that girl over there huh.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: (I hope he won’t fight over this time…)

*After a moment*

Yui: 一Subaru kun!

Subaru: ...Oh, you come huh.

Yui: Oh...you have got back to normal appearance huh.

Subaru: Absolutely! Who’d wear that damn cloth for a long time.

Yui: (I want to...tell him about my impressions of that show...How should I describe that?)

→Selection

面白かった / You looked interesting

かっこよかった / You looked cool (+correct)

Yui: Subaru kun, you looked so cool!

Subaru: I- is that so? I haven’t really done anything. *flushed*

Yui: It’s not like that. That costume also suited you pretty well and…!

Subaru: ...Thanks.

Dress shop owner: Thanks for the earlier. For you, we really hit a huge profit.

Subaru: I’d acted just as you said. This time, listen to our request.

Dress shop owner: What is it? It will be a pleasure to help you with anything I can.

Subaru: ...Have you seen something similar to this photo? We’re searching for that.

Dress shop owner: ...Oh, it’s inside our warehouse. I’m going to bring that so wait please.

*After a while*

Dress shop owner: 一I think it’s this one.

Yui: Yeah, it is!

Dress shop owner: No one has been using it since it was just left there...You can have it if you need it.

Yui: Thank you so much! We did it, Subaru kun!

Subaru: Hm...I have no clue what he's planning to do with this worn-out thing…

That’s fine. Let’s get back to that old uncle anyways!

Yui: Right. Ah, really thanks a lot!

Dress shop owner: Whether it’s useful to you or not comes first. If it’s possible then stop by here again.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一Here, ye’ haven’t gotten any complaints right!?

Antique Art Dealer: Oooh! This one indeed! I haven’t imagined you’d really give it to me.

Subaru: Geez, my head hasn’t just got that why do ya’ need such a thing.

But...with this we’re done with one of the assignments I hope.

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, you sure did. I’ll count on you tomorrow as well.

Place: Diamante Fountain / ディアマンテ泉

Subaru: Haah...I’m tired…

Yui: The first day was tough…

Ah, I got churro from the Wagon. Wanna eat?

Subaru: Yeah….mmn…

...The saying that “Sweet things taste more tasty the time you’re tired”, not a lie after all…

Yui: Fufu…

(But, today we really had to face many things.)

(I hope we’ll be able to hold out tomorrow as well…)

Subaru: Don’t make such a depressed face…I’ll be with you.

Yui: Right…!

(That’s true, if Subaru kun’s with me then we’ll be fine…!)

(Alright, let’s do our best tomorrow!)

一The END of Chapter O2

[gilded-green]

@persononplanet​ replied to your post @persononplanet replied to your post Okay but if...

Oh definitely, being a Dai Li agent that tortures definitely does not help the entire ‘I like walking over people and feeling superior to them’ part XD.

And one of my assessments was quite right! Yay! He likes the power and control he has over others (because of vague handwave yong doesnt know and will not just stop a sec for self reflection)

And yup, i’m very certain yong is overall disliked by the entirety of re-education because of that little stunt he pulled, woop.

And yes, actually, if due to some reason Tuan, Yong, and Shirong were stuck together, then Shirong would out of plain annoyance of them and pure boredom just continue thinking and analyzing the situation and then just sigh and try to solve a bit of the issue. 

Cuz your work may be torture and dark stuff, it’s no excuse to be an overall dick. (Which Shirong, coincidentally, is a perfect example of. That man is a psychological torturer. In a way, it’s worse.

He drives people to insanity, watches, pushes his victims some more, and then manipulates them into trusting him so that he can do whatever the feels like. It’s dark, terrifying, and its really underplayed in the overall atla fandom how fucking terrifying and terrible brainwashing is.)

And despite that all, Shirong isn’t an asshole. He can make friends (sure he got like...one...but thats more than actual friends Yong has) and he can treat people with more respect and care than yong. 

Plus, shirong is a wholesome godfather. Cuz eventho he overall dislikes to be surrounded by people (like banquets etc etc) he likes that little family so he’ll put up with them and try to be nice to his friend’s little kiddo. 

Yong has a family, we see them briefly in that winter solstice party fic, but I doubt Yong would be a good and loving husband and father. He has literally never shown any semblance of caring about anyone or treating anyone with respect, 

So i kinda feel bad for her, living with the Head of Investigation, a man who doesnt care about anyone but himself and has a big time hunger for power and, more importantly, a feel of having power, musn’t be a happy home situation.

Then again we’ve never really seen yong’s home situation, who knows, maybe his wife is literally the only person he actually cares about but personally I doubt it. If many, many years of being dai li partners can’t make him care even a tad bit about tuan,

Then why would yong care for the wife that was higher in status than him and - probably - has some wealth and power as well? He probably doesnt. And while thats alright in a society where arranged marriages and political marriages take place, you *are* supposed to treat her with some respect. Which i doubt he does.

But the most sad part would be the daughter. His poor daughter.

Her father is basically the biggest jerk in the kingdom and only the jade emperor knows what she has seen happen between her mother and father...

If yong is how yong always is, even at home, then i feel so damn bad for that child. I know exactly what its like to feel unloved, alone, and forgotten and I wouldn’t wish that to this innocent little kiddo. 

At least tuan’s her godfather and her mother -probably- tries her best

*coughs* Actually you don’t have to worry about Yong’s wife and kid at all.

Like you really don’t.

Not like that, anyway. I mean maybe worry about them a little? But not like that.

See I have this thing where I’m not super fond of villains having to be awful in literally all aspects. I don’t like it when creators decide “Well that’s the bad guy so we can use them as a dumping ground for every awful character trait possible.” It’s annoying and uninspired and lazy and pretty much my only exception is Ozai because Ozai is just Bad At Everything, except also I do still headcanon he and Ursa did actually have a romantic relationship and The Search never changed that so never mind Ozai isn’t as much of an exception as I thought.

Anyway, Yong is neither a terrible husband nor a terrible father.

He’s not exactly a great father, either, but like. He’s a dad. It’s part of his identity, which he has carefully built for himself. And sure, in some ways, he sees his wife and daughter as tools and stepping stones to get where he wants, but uhhhhhh....that’s how it works in his society. That’s pretty normal.

Normal to the point that he uses his wife as much as she uses him. They met, had a whirlwind romance, he realized this upper-middle class young woman and her family could definitely help him in his career, she realized this up-and-coming regular-middle class young man was going places and it’d be beneficial to hitch a wagon to his shining star, and they formalized the whole arrangement with a marriage. And welp, that sure did turn out to be a good investment for the both of them! He became one of the highest officials in the government, she gets to be the wife of someone super important, and they both get to live in the Upper Ring and chill with nobility despite being Middle Ring commoners. Also her family gets all sorts of business deals thanks to their brilliant son-in-law’s connections. So everyone’s gotten what they want, and Yong’s wife probably doesn’t know the details of what he does at work, and she probably doesn’t care to, and if she did know about the torture, she’d probably shrug like “Well sometimes that’s just how it goes, isn’t it? How else is my husband supposed to keep the city safe?”

She’s not affected by it, and more importantly she doesn’t want to be affected by it. If you try to bring her attention to the torture, she is not going to be shocked or aghast or even teary over how you’ve opened her eyes to her husband’s horrible practices. She’s going to be very annoyed at you for attempting to throw a wrench into the gears of the privilege machine that is her life. And then she’s going to complain to Yong about you, because she knows her powerful husband will fix it.

She probably knows about his extra-marital activities, too, and she also probably doesn’t care so long as everyone knows she’s his wife and no other partners matter. It’s a small price to pay for the life she’s leading. Plenty of powerful people in Ba Sing Se have lovers on the side! Heck she might too, who knows?

As for their daughter, well, having a kid was part and parcel of the whole enterprise. That’s what you do, isn’t it? Get married, have a kid, pass on the family lineage? Also they just kinda liked the idea of it. So they had a kid, and Thi is growing up to be another privileged little lady. Her father is very powerful and her life is very nice and she wants for nothing and she doesn’t know what her dad does all day but she does know he’s a hero who protects the city.

Yong may not be winning Father of the Year anytime soon, but he’s not a bad dad. If anything he’s kinda like the stereotypical Victorian father who provides for his family and is loved and respected but maybe not necessarily close to his kid, and then proceeds to go to the office where he continues to subjugate the empire’s colonies using the power of coal mined by impoverished children. The main difference is that Yong is a bit more hands-on, but eh. *handwave* Storytelling. Whatever.

There are lots of people out there who got raised by loving parents who were also just...not great people. There are lots of people out there who were raised by their loving parents to be just as not-great. And they don’t even realize it, because to them their privilege is normal, and they aren’t going to be very bothered with changing things. Or they won’t want to because it’ll mean they’ll have to confront the fact that they might not be great people. Or their parents weren’t great people, and the way they were raised was wrong. That can be a scary and hard and upsetting process to go through.

And Yong’s family really has no reason to want to go through it. Why would they? Their husband/father is an important man who protects the city and provides for his family. What else could they possibly want?

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Dino Albani Character story - part 2

Translation of the second part of Dino’s character story from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.  

Junior: FFFFUUUUUUCK!!!

Faith: You’re loud, Ochibi-chan

Junior: HAH!? Making me shut up now or what!

Junior: That shitty mentor….. He’s fucking lazing around during patrol AGAIN!

Junior: Saying it’s all ‘cuz of a hangover, hasn’t he changed at all!?

Faith: People don’t change that easily now.

Junior: I don’t give a shit!

Junior: Here I was thinking he’d quit gulping down alcohol…. Like, if we look at the reason why he started binge drinking----

Dino: Oooooi. Junior-kun, Faith-kun

Junior: Dino!?

Faith: What’s wrong? I thought you went back with Keith to the Tower

Dino: Keith went on ahead. He couldn’t fight off the sleepiness….

Dino: Thanks to this “something” I came across during patrol, I got a flash of inspiration….. Which is why I came searching for you two~

Faith: Something? Inspiration?

Dino: Tadaaaah~~♪

Junior: ? A glove and a ball….

Dino: You two got some time now, right? So let’s go play catch for a bit!

Faith & Junior: …...Catch?

----

Dino: Alrighty! I’ll throw at Junior, Junior to Faith, and Faith back at me…. that’ll be the order!

Junior: Just hold on for a sec! Why the hell are we playing catch!?

Faith: I’d like to know too. You kept saying that “it’s fine” and forcibly dragged us into it but… just, why catch?

Dino: It’s simple, I got in the mood to play with you two

Junior: Hah? What the hell

Faith: That reminds me, I had noticed there’s a glove and ball lying around somewhere in your room…. Are you a fan of it?

Dino: Yup♪ It’s simple to play which makes it fun… and you can easily move around, doesn’t that make it awesome?

Faith: “Awesome”... I wouldn’t get that excited about it, like, totally not

Faith: Playing catch during the broad daylight in a park… isn’t this more of a thing for noisy pipsqueaks?

Junior: Ngh!? The fuck, shitty DJ! This ain’t me making happy in the slightest!

Faith: Sorry but, I was referring to children. It’s not about you, no need to get this mad about it 

Junior: !? Bastard, that’s absolutely NOT it! I know you’re goddamn making fun of me!

Dino: C’mon you two. Let’s play instead of fighting

Dino: Leisurely throwing a ball around in this nice weather, kicking back and taking in the calmness, and making you forget about to things to fight about

Dino: All of it makes catch about love and peace☆ …..Juuust kidding♪ 

Faith & Junior: ………

----

Faith: Ah, sorry. Kind of threw it in a weird direction without meaning to…..

Dino: It’s all good! And… got it♪

Dino: I feel like you two haven’t really played that much catch before?

Junior: I sometimes played with my older brother. But not since we started the band

Faith: Totally not. Don’t like playing outside and getting sweaty…..

Faith: Honestly when I entered HELIOS and Keith told us to go play it, it was the first time for me

Dino: Eh, Keith told you to do that?

Junior: Yeah. And not just catch, but video games and billiards, even trampoline, all that kinda stuff….

Junior: He always made me do whatever he half-mindedly came up with on the spot, just for his own enjoyment!

Faith: I comparatively enjoyed it though, it let us have some fun

Faith: But somewhere in the midst of all that Ochibi-chan was going on about thiiis and thaaat, and Keith was forced to come up with a training menu against his will

Dino: I see, that’s what it was….

Dino: Ahahah. The fact that Keith made you guys play catch is putting a smile on my face

Junior: Huh? For… what?

Dino: When Keith and I were rookies, we were made to play catch just like you two right now. By our mentor at the time, Jay

Dino: This kind of training that at first only looks as if you’re playing with others, is probably a similar way of acting out Jay’s methods

Junior: Eeeeh!?

Dino: Keith would act the same as Junior right now, complaining about how we’re only made to mess around

Dino: But, Jay had properly sat down to think it through….. Like for example, catch brings communication out

Junior: ? Communication?

Faith: Like how we’re conversing while we're busy playing, it has to be that, right

Dino: Oh, correct♪ Nice one, Faith-kun

Dino: You know, back when we were rookies, Brad was the one that quickly understood what Jay thought about too

Faith: ………….

Dino: And well, I’ve been going on about it so much it’s probably obvious but, I’m copying Jay’s methods just as Keith is doing

Dino: I’ve just come back and I want to communicate with you guys more, which is why I wanted to invite you two to play with me

Junior: What the, was that really it. We’re living together, this communication thing is always possible for us 

Dino: You do have a point there…. Maybe it does just come down to how I wanted to play catch

Dino: Though, I’d be happy if you two will keep on accompaying me like this. Maybe next time I’ll even invite Keith♪

----

Junior: Tch, damned Keith… He drank and fell asleep in the living again

Faith: Aha, same as ever. I told you change doesn’t happen that easily. Consider thinking long-term?

Junior: You’re right

Faith: …...Mh? Did you just agree?

Junior: You heard me. Dino’s back, and whether you’ll like it or not there’ll be change one way or another

Junior: That’s why, maybe I’ll overlook it just a bit now…...

Faith: ……….

Faith: Puh….. What kind of point of view is that?

Junior: Wha-!? The hell you laughing for, Shitty DJ! S-stop it!

Faith: Yes, yes- Anyway it’s already late in the evening and you’re being a nuisance to our neighbours, if you wanna be a good boy then go to bed or else… Pffft

Junior: GHHHH----------------------!!!!!!!!

[reddogcollar]

thinking more if my funny little rewrite thoughts so like. here's an entire run down of what I'd do with season 1 of my pride

under the cut cuz its long and like. warning for like. everything that already happens in the series anyway

starting first! with the naming conventions. so the whole naming scheme is appropriation of indigenous culture. and I'm white so take this one with a grain of salt but replacing that mess with instead the mother naming the cub after a trait after getting to know em would. probably fix it? Like naming a cub Power or Tenacious and. stuff

the names could not only be personality based but just general descriptors. Quick for someone fast, Golden for someone blonde, Cherished for someone especially loved by their mother. Names could also be based off something they want the child to be, like Fearless or Perceptive. naming a child after something they don't start as, but turn out to be instead would make everyone to regard the mother as an especially good one for knowing her child so well. Being wrong would have the opposite effect. Waiting too long would bring scorn, implying you don't spend enough time with your child to think of any name at all.

Prideless lions wouldn't be named by their parents at all, instead given the right to name themselves based on what they think. This leaves room for them to rename themselves as grow and change, something pride lions cant do. Until the cub names themselves, the mother will refer to them with affectionate nickname.

and I think that. fixes that issue. onto plot

I think episode 1 is fine left alone, though all three children would be left unnamed. though I think its weird how quick managed to rip off the skin all around nothing's eye but didn't actually damage it. Like at all. so she's half blind now too.

So they go on lion trial, power saying quick is unfit because he was bested by a cub, so there's no way he could've beat star fairly. sharp calls forth the currently unnamed fire to ask his opinion as a supposed witness. even though I'm pretty sure he ran away before star died? eh <3

despite having the chance to get rid of quick, he says it was fair and quick has earned the pride. whether or not that's true, fire is a devout believer in pride law and a pride without a mane would be worse than a pride lead by a cheating mane.

because nothing and quick each half blinded each other, they go with the law of equivalent exchange. one each gets something from the other. nothing asks for her and her brother's lives to spared, and quick asks that she always takes as little resources as possible

instead of like. skipping 2 years. it would instead actually like. show the childhood. how nothing is ignored by her on mother, and doted on by fire. specifically because he think she's weak. despite doting on her, he also generally ignores her opinions.

even as a little wounded baby she gets the least food and water, enforced by quick and even fire sometimes, rules are rules. some of the unnamed adults will try to cheat this tho and get her more food and water cuz Holy Shit? Dude?

when she's a little older and not. covered in open wounds. the adults more or less stop trying to protect her. she's on her own now, and they have cubs of their own to worry about anyways.

since time is also a resource she gets the least of that too, most notably the least time being trained in anything. hunting, fighting, tracking, she's taught the absolute least.

despite that, she always tries.to do the absolute most. first to volunteer for anything she could theoretically do, last to get picked for any minorly important task. getting ridiculed for doing things slower due to her limp, to the point where she starts trying to just power through the pain to walk normally. it only slows her down and she gets mocked more. fire generally doesn't stand up for her, just makes her lay down

eventually she starts getting out a bit. The younger cubs mock her, their parents don't stop them, her mom never speaks to her unless its to antagonize her, and quick is downright terrifying. despite being healed up, fire never leaves her alone and disregards her when she wants to be alone.

this is how she meets hover, who is now named insightful. bc I just inexplicably cant stand the name Hover for a lion. she thinks she's insightful, but she's kind of just snarky and a little mean without saying anything w real depth, probably bc they're all prepubescent

despite being snarky and a little mean, she's a breath of fresh air to nothing cuz she's yk. not ableist and calls fire out when he starts acting ableist. its a short interaction, and when they're home fire immediately goes to tell his mom there's not only a prideless lion in their territory, but a cub, implying her mother and possibly siblings are around. cuz he's a little bitch

nothing gets into an argument with him over it, she could've been their friend after all, and both fire and her mom yell at her for even thinking about disobeying pride law

not sure what else to do here, so skip to when they're 2 and fires about to be kicked out. they're both still nameless, bringing a lot of bad opinions power's way. she's also required to name at least fire before he leaves. so she sits down, rolls her eyes, and half asses the name fire. quick is about to push him out but nothing interrupts, saying she still needs a name.

power gets annoyed and demands what she could even be named after, her injury? her disregard for the law? her ability to butt in at the most annoying times? nothing sputters, shocked and unable to come up with a response for a moment. before she can, she's named nothing

she protests, and even fire thinks that's a lot. they're both shut down, by power and quick respectively. most of the present adults are shocked, some of the older ones even appalled. none step in though. fire has to go, and nothing leaves toward the watering holes so she doesn't cry in front of her mom. all that stupid shit is internalized though so she starts trying again to support her full weight on her leg no matter how much it hurts. thinking maybe it broke and healed so wrong that it can barely support her now. idk I'm no doctor

she ends up laying down by the water, feeling all bad and in pain. then she notices the crocodile and some other lion and yada yada saves her life. insightful immediately recognizes her and that stops nothing from chasing her off. they catch up a little until they hear someone coming. insightful runs off and farleap, now called jumper comes out of the grass.

she questions nothing, she heard something and she can definitely smell a stranger. nothing lies and said she just chased off a prideless. jumper doesn't seem convinced, but doesn't push it because the stranger is gone, at least. so she just gets her drink and nothing goes home. and that's the day.

next day we can be introduced to feather, now named light. he's the runt of his litter, the lightest color of his siblings, and the light of my life. his name has nothing to do with the reincarnation stuff, which ill get into later. he gets teased for being smaller than his sisters, but keeps up an over energetic, happy mood that children have. he prefers hanging out with nothing though, seeing as she's not gonna be mean to him for being short.

he refuses to leave her alone to the point of finding out when nothing starts sneaking out to see insightful. their little dates go all nice and cute until light jumps out of the bushes scaring the life out of them. nothing freaks out a little because holy fuck? quick's son just found her out? oh god oh fuck! insightful is just amused though, because children are funny.

they make light swear to keep it a secret, and he promises. as long as nothing lets him go with her whenever he wants, because its fun breaking the rules and being out at night. it's a little less fun third wheeling on your cousin's date when you're like 7 but its fine cuz insightful plays with him

everyone thinks its pretty weird how both nothing and light are getting exhausted in the middle of the day, and jumper is still on that "I don't believe that you chased that prideless off" stuff, and eventually convinces power of increasing like patrol or whatever, and everyone keeps their guard up, making it harder for nothing and insightful to meet

this spurs nothing to ask insightful to join, to which insightful asks her to leave the prides and go with her. nothing says she doesn't want insightful to just have to take care of her and it goes back and forth and its a whole thing. it turns into an argument and they part ways for the night before it can escalate further.

the next morning, insightful has shown up and is asking to join. mostly so she can spend more time trying to convince nothing to leave the prides with her.

they get convinced and she is stripped of her name immediately. either quick or power will rename her when they come with something suitable. of course she is. upset as all hell. she swallows it though, since she's never seen nothing so happy. light is ecstatic, also, cuz he thinks she is cool.

go through some time showing insightful being worn down by pride life, nothing still continuing to practically destroy her body to make herself palatable, and light being downright bullied because he's still smaller than his everyone his age. quick even starts looking down on his son cuz Why Is He Still So Small? light begins to resent his father, and pride life a little.

jumper is rude as hell, naturally. except this time insightful actually stands up for nothing by cuz holy shit? that's your girlfriend why wouldn't you help her?

we can also implement the homophobia rule here. because of course power is a homophobe. would you expect anything less??

and yeah that's the vibe until nothing is left with some unnamed lion to look after the children while everyone else is off doing things that are important. she goes off for a drink and light follows her because of course he does. yadda yadda fire is back for a visit cuz he thinks nothing is like. useless and can't survive without him. their little visit goes down light thinks its so cool to meet a bunch of prideless men yk yk

on their way back they run into quick, who is followed by power and insightful. that unnamed lion with the other children said nothing and light had been gone for a long time and quick is pissed off cuz that's his only son n she just took him off for a jaunt.

he's yelling at her and insightful is about to interject before she's stopped by power, and light interrupts his dad to tell him about fire's group. cuz hey it'll make him leave them alone so like? go off??

nothing gets pissed off at him though because he just sent his murderous father off to kill her brother. rude or not he's still important to her. she and power have their interaction, power whining about how much she "loves" her children, you know. except nothing disowns her. power gets called out and yk yk. its a whole thing and gives nothing some of the agency she lost over the years

then she goes off to find quick, insightful follows her to help, and light follows them because he feels bad.

quick is dead, proud is a dick, light is hidden away in this scene. it goes much the same except light is seeing his father's corpse for himself and insightful is there negotiating their lives alongside nothing. also threatening proud

they yet away with their lives and run as far away as possible just in case he comes after light. nothing may be annoyed but letting your small cousin be murdered isn't cool

so they go off to find fire. its important to nothing cuz ykkk he's her last living sibling and as far as she's concerned, her remaining immediate family. he treats her how he does cuz he loves her, right? right. right?

nothing lives on the stretch how she lived in the prides, taking as little as possible of everything. insightful starts trying to get her to eat more before she like. drops dead. but its hard bc yk internalized self hatred is a vibe. they stay hot on fire's trail, until they come across some bones, a lot of blood, and the eaten remains of tangle. I'm making that plot point more fucked up.

everyone is of course freaked out, and insightful immediately takes it on herself to make sure nothing and light have some skill in fighting cuz Oh My God! they each play to their strengths, and it's like typical training montage. I like to think that with nothing's bad leg opponents would naturally try to take advantage of her balance, and which point she could rear up on her hind legs and then unexpectedly just crash down onto her opponent with her full weight. idk I've never seen a lion fight.

so yeah they eventually find fire and light and insightful are like. not trusting him at all, they suspect him. nothing isn't so hasty with the blame, cannibalism is a lot to accuse your brother of. fire says that if he takes over the nearest pride, he can change her name due to her time as a prideless lion.

as discussed, light objects. he thinks she should be able to choose her own name. pride or not. fire the devout follower of pride law didn't like that

they kill that old man, fire demands the pride, moonstrike (now striker) denies him and he's like. "You cant do that. That's illegal" and striker claims he couldn't have beaten her mate in fair combat after getting his ass kicked the first time. plus he's got some random child that isn't his

he takes that as "kill the kid" and yk. goes after light. nothing's reaction time is normal now though and barrels into him before he can rip lights throat out. he's still gravely wounded though, so much so that insightful is fully occupied trying to keep him alive.

nothing and fire square off, fire is ableist, nothing challenges him. You know. except this time she kills him. she gets him on his back and cuts him open, guts everywhere. no Ghost scene.

Injured and horrified, she lays down. she's like. going to have a breakdown. she just killed her brother, light may be dead, these strangers won't quit staring at her, its not good. episode end.

cut to like next morning and nothing's injuries are being taken care of at the same time as light's. insightful is in there with em talking with striker. noticing she's up, striker asks her name. I'm still not sure what I'd want her to change it to but she does change it. perhaps Enough?

idk idk either way, she doesn't get the pride. she beat fire but it wasn't his to give. however, striker offers them all a place there, including light. boom season 1 end

[mac-3-impact]

Does anyone know who this woman is? Find out & let me know please, it connects to my life somehow. Reminds me of Liz Smuck, a Santa Rosa girl I knew when I was on Triton swim team Red Bluff California. She was nice to me & so beautiful. Flies are clustered today. My 365th entry across web today. Whatever, eh? Everybody has left. Pinterest has my record epoch “Miracle of the amERiCAN Dream” my effort with God to heal humanity. Do you care? Everything is donated so it won’t be taken away before the needy can use it to make money cuz that’s the unfortunate world we live in now: WE the PEOPLE do not count, only money does to our government & it only adds more ways to take from us all. Taxes continue to grow as WE the PEOPLE feed all immigrants, middle class carrying the burden. Think the government is looking to see how far they can go before WE the PEOPLE break? That’s the game they are playing against me right now: lies & cheap little tactics to trick me into volunteering to leave the Promised Land which God led me to, here in ᏩᏯ[Ꭶ] ᏟᎾᏌΠᎢᎡᎩ. ᏆᎻᎬᎩ ᏴᎬᏝᏐᎬᏤᎬ Ꮀ’ᏝᏐᎬᎦ ᎳᏐᏝᏝ ᎠᎡᏐᏤᎬ ᏌᎦ ᎾᏌᏆ - ᏆᎻᎪᎢ[Ꭶ] ᎳᎻᎩ ᏆᎻᎬᎩ ᎦᏆᎾᎮ ᎳᎪᎦᏆᎬ ᎠᏐᎦᎮᎾᎦᎪᏝ & ᎪᏝᏝ ᏆᎻᎬ ᎻᎬᏝᎮᏐΠᏩ ᎻᎪΠᎠᎦ Ꮀ’ᎡᎾᎷ ᏟᎾᎷᏐΠᏩ ᎢᎾ ᎻᎬᏝᎮ. What they don’t know is my past…I was the primary grademan on the Chico Sewer Plant renovation years ago…You wanna know what it’s like? Flies, constant flies. You fight when outside to eat your lunch. I can deal with it. What’s sad is that it does not need to be this way at all. People don’t sort their trash right.♻️ Flies only come for food because they thrive on the garbage, even the💩poop. They are God’s answer for elimination of food wastes. You see it all connects, pests have purpose; each and every single one. Scientists know this, children know this, just ask any grammar school kid cuz they observe life. When you don’t know about all the stuff around you, you watch. But adults in their pursuit for money only learn what they need to know to make money, then stress out over it, seeking escape and spending more money on the things most heavily taxed: pot…now, alcohol, exercise equipment, fuel to visit friends & family so they can complain together. It’s all a vicious circle. That’s why that law bill (HR 1043 §1078) made such a difference to all of the world. Americans were never subjected to propaganda before and we all fell for it, hook line and sinker…I began to notice when I started searching for answers on how to heal humanity. I asked one simple question and found a highly complicated answer. “What can I do to change all the stress in the world to heal humanity while leaving my mark in history to better life for my family?” Then I asked who I was and examined myself for a while seeking an answer. Problem was, there was no good answer. I can’t change the world, only myself. And I only know my history, not truly who I am as a person. I am made up of parts, connected yet disconnected. One part talks to people, one part is a voice in my head, one part thinks and another is my physical body. Yet there is also a spiritual side and that is the greatest mystery, one which I can only partially understand. God comes at the last moment because people finally ask for God to come in their most desperate moments.

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 6

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 6

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes: So, I have finished the Silmarillion, and may I just say, wow. I have a whole new understanding of Middle-Earth. It's amazing and inspiring. I do miss Maedhros and Maglor already though... Now, I've finished Beren and Luthien and started The Children of Hurin next in my quest to read every book on Middle-Earth that there is, written, of course, by the Tolkiens.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, au to where some of the Feanorians lived, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Maedhros x Fingon, Maglor x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

Instead of Blue-Eyes meeting you by Starlight, it was Erestor, instead. Aside from the one time you'd spoken to him with Haldir, asking him about other continents (Which, it turned out, you'd misunderstood. Beleriand had sunk, and so had Numenor and Tol Eressea, and no one but the Eldar could reach Aman anymore.), you hadn't spoken to him.

He was an older Elf, kind of intimidating, with a bird-like demeanor and an expression that said Don't fuck with me.

So yeah, you were kinda surprised.

Still, you bowed in the Elvish fashion. "Len Suilon, Erestor. Ci maer?"

"Suilad. Ni maer, [Y/N]," He assured nonchalantly. "A gin?"

"Ni maer eithro." You looked around nervously, hoping Blue-Eyes would pop out of nowhere and save you from a further conversation in what would probably be your poor Sindarin with an age-old Elf. "So, her majesty chose me for this scouting mission, eh?"

"Indeed," Erestor inclined his head. "Your Elvish improves, if slowly. You do not hesitate in your greetings anymore."

"Thank you, sir."

"Come, and lead Starlight along," Said Erestor unfairly regally, and sailed majestically away. "Have you been practicing your swordplay diligently? You may need it."

You nodded as you followed him. "Yes sir. Legolas, Elros, and Lindir have made sure that they split my day into learning Sindarin, weaponry, and even the general Elvish way of being Elvish." You tried not to sound irritated about that. They literally never gave you any free time. Not that you'd brought any books to read, and not that you could read any Elvish, but that wasn't the point.

"Good," Erestor nodded. "What are your strong suits?"

Ah, shit. "Uhm... I can throw a dagger pretty hard? I can probably shoot somebody dead if I'm point blank, but other than that, my aim sucks. I'm somewhat okay with a sword, though, and I prefer two. Why?"

"Curious," Erestor replied all mysteriously, and that was all he said on the matter.

The Elves chosen for the scouting mission-- the Elvenqueen herself, with Blue-Eyes, Haldir, and Elros-- were gathered and speaking amongst themselves, while Thorin and Dwalin next to their very dignified ponies glowered at them. Balin was feeding his own pony an apple, muttering to it kindly. Compared to the Elves, who were naturally tall and lithe, the short and stocky dwarves looked outrageously tiny.

"Ah," The Elvenqueen's attention was on you faster than a supersonic jet's. "You have arrived."

You bowed deeply. "Your majesty." To Haldir, and even to Legolas just to be safe from potential Elvenqueen-wrath-2.0, you added, "My Lords." You turned to Erestor. "I'm sorry I didn't greet you with the title, I forgot what ‘my lord’ is in Elvish."

To your surprise, the Elves chuckled. Except for the Elvenqueen, of course. "You need not worry yourself, mellonenin," Elros assured you. "You are still learning."

The Elvenqueen inclined her head. "We leave at once, if all are ready."

There were positive responses throughout, and everyone present mounted up. You caught sight of Lindir coming out of his tent for the morning, and waved; he looked confused, but awkwardly repeated your gesture. "What on Arda are you doing?" Blue-Eyes asked under his breath, like you were embarrassing him.

You snickered. "It's like a 'hi' and 'bye' gesture for when you're out of earshot of someone you know. It's called ‘waving’. Everyone does it where I come from."

"This is not your world, [Y/N]," The Elvenqueen reprimanded firmly. You fought the urge to shrink in on yourself. "If you are going to be a part of it and learn our ways, then you must do so faithfully, leaving everything you know of your world behind you. Your land is nothing but a poison, and I do not want it infecting Middle-Earth. Am I understood?"

"Y-yes ma'am-- your majesty, yes your majesty."

"Good," Said the Elvenqueen, and then she continued giving orders in Elvish, while Thorin purposefully repeated them in dwarvish for Balin and Dwalin, though everyone present spoke fluent English-- Common. For you, Blue-Eyes translated what he could before he was called up to ride beside his mother, so then Elros and Haldir took turns explaining. The whole event left you feeling like a fish out of water.

***

It was around noon when the company halted, which Thorin and Dwalin had been leading on foot, while Balin kept their ponies tied to his own. At first, you assumed, lunch, finally, I'm starving, but instead, you'd stopped because Thorin had found a trail. "Orcs," He said.

Duh, you felt like saying, what else would it be? Bigfoot?

But after the Elvenqueen's earlier lecture, you kept that to yourself.

"Which way do they lead, master dwarf?" The Elvenqueen demanded.

Thorin huffed as he stood. "They go north, but they are heavy from travel. Wherever they came from, it is not from anywhere near the northern borders of Mirkwood or Erebor."

"Where else would they come from?" You blurted out before you could stop yourself. "Are there like orcish towns in the north or something? Maybe we could--”

"There is no such thing," The Elvenqueen snapped.

"The wargs that I had tracked were from Gundabad," Blue-Eyes said calmly, as if that hadn't ever been important information before. "The ones that attacked us on the river, however, were from Mordor."

You leaned over to Haldir as Blue-Eyes continued to speculate. "I'm confused. What's the difference?"

"Gundabad wargs are darker, lithe, and more agile," Haldir told you quietly. "They are more viscous, as well. A Mordor warg is more... Stout, I suppose you could say, and slightly lighter in color."

There was a flash of color before your eyes. Suddenly, you felt as if you were in a clearing of trees, surrounded by people in dark colors, while the sound of howls filled the air, unlike the ones you'd heard before.

These are Gundabad wargs! They will outrun you!

These are Rusteveld rabbits! I'd like to see them try.

You shook your head as you resituated yourself in the saddle. Well, that was sudden... It had been quite a few days since any of the strangely-familiar visions had come to you. You came back to your senses as Dwalin laughed uproarously. "Well, that settles it, then! To Gundabad!"

"Wait just a moment," The Elvenqueen said. "We are not all brash, Master Dwalin. We will go back and retrieve more forces before even thinking of going near Gundabad." With that, she turned her silver mare around and began trotting back, Haldir and Erestor on either side of her. Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin hung back, taking their time getting on their ponies and following after.

"Where's Gundabad?" You asked Legolas quietly; not that it did any good. Elves could hear grass growing on the other side of the continent if they wanted to. "And what is it?"

"It is northwest of here, in a cleft between the mountains," He answered. "It is an old fortress, from the time when the Dunedain first came to Middle-Earth from Numenor, if you remember." You nodded; he'd told you the entire story of the Silmarils and anything that went with it or after. "It was the gate that lead to the Witch-Kingdom of Angmar."

"Lead by the Witch-King..." You finished for him automatically. An eerie echo of a voice filled your mind: No man can kill me. At his impressed look, you scrunched up your face. "And what are you, French? How'd you make that 'h' sound in the middle of the damn word?!" You realized what you said only after you'd said it, and quickly looked to the Elvenqueen to see if she'd heard. If she had, she made no sign of it. "Sorry."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "It is fine, Sairen, you can speak to me of your world, don't worry." With a cocky smile, he looked down at you smugly. "As for the pronunciation... You will learn to do it soon."

Back at camp, a group of Elves was already up and waiting to move out, and at the Elvenqueen's ringing voice, they followed after, and you all retraced your steps back to where Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin had found the orc tracks. You considered it pointless-- they could've just taken the host of a couple dozen Elves with them that way they didn't have to retrace their steps.

Partway there, you decided that goddamn song that'd been going through your head needed a damn good explanation. Unfortunately, Blue-Eyes was now up by his mother, leaving you between two totally random Elves. You'd never been good at starting up a conversation, but you decided to give it a try anyway. "...Hey, do either of you speak Common?"

Both Elves busted out laughing as if you'd made a hilarious joke about dwarves.

"Most Eldar can speak Common," The one on the right said, removing his helmet to look at you more clearly. Whoa. You practically fell off Starlight. He was beautiful. He had long, purely golden hair that fell down his back in unfairly glorious waves. He had soft blue eyes (Not as gorgeous as Blue-Eyes', but still.) and a fair face. "It would be considered quite odd, in our long lives, if one did not learn the tongues of others."

You just stared at him. "Dude. Are you like, made of gold?"

He laughed, which sounded a lot like something naturelike and unfairly beautiful. You'd never heard any of the Elves outright laugh, so this was a weird, new experience for you. "I have been asked many things, but that is new. No, I am just as flesh and bone as you are."

"Yeah, but yours are like, plated in gold, so, you're... Wow."

He laughed again. "What is your name, mellon?"

"[Y/N.]," You replied, in a daze, then leaned over quick to the Elf on your left, who tensed and tried to lead his horse away. "Do you even see this guy?!"

You turned back to Goldie. "A gin?"

As best as he could in the saddle, the Elf placed his right arm over his chest and bowed at the waist. "I am called Glorfindel. Gellon len covad!"

"Mae l'ovannen!" You said in response.

Glorfindel smiled at you. "What was your question, mellonenin?"

"Well thanks to you and your blinding gold-ness, I forgot. Give me a minute." You thought for a second, trying to ignore the literally glowing Elf beside you. "Ah! That's it. I asked if you could speak Common so you'd understand my question. You guys have songs, right?"

Glorfindel gave you a look like you'd just told him his hair looked like an orc's. "Of course we have songs! Many, many songs! They are as timeless as we are, and we, all of us, are taught these songs from a very young age. Did you wish to learn them?"

You shook your head. "Nah. I've never been good at singing." If I sang all you Elves would shatter like a glass in an opera-room. "When I got puffed here, a song started going through my head. I can never remember all of it. Just bits and pieces here and there. But it's really bugging me. So if I told you all I could remember, think you could remember one from your Elvish past?"

Glorfindel inclined his head. "I shall answer to the best of my ability."

"Okay," You wracked your brain for the lyrics. "Okay, uh... Something about leaving home, and fading... Lots of fading. The one sentence I can always clearly remember is 'all shall fade.'" You looked at him curiously. "That ringin’ any bells?"

Glorfindel thought hard. "If by that you mean if I can remember anything similar, I cannot. If it is a song of Arda, it is not one I know, and I can remember most Eldar songs."

That caused a lightbulb to appear above your head. You gasped, wide-eyed.

"Wait! You're Glorfindel?! As in, the Glorfindel?! The guy in Gondolin who tried to protect Turgon by fighting the Balrog?!"

"Ah, Turgon... He was a good friend."

"And when it fell it grabbed your hair?!"

Glorfindel flinched. "Can we not mention that...?"

"And then you came back to life to fight Sauron?!"

"Yes--"

"The guy who was in love with Ecthelion of the Fountain?!"

Glorfindel flushed, his face going a deep shade of un-Elvish red-- on him, though, it was more of a rose-gold... "Yes, I am that Glorfindel, and I would advise you hush before you draw the attention of the Elvenqueen."

Nervously, you glanced ahead, to where the Elvenqueen sat regally upon her horse. If she or Leggy had heard you, neither of them made any indication of it. With a giddy smile, you looked back to Glory. "This is so cool. Where I'm from, you rarely ever meet anybody so important. Now I've met some of the most important people of Middle-Earth! Ooh, am I also gonna get to meet the king of Gondor?!"

Glorfindel looked confused, but amused. "Gondor has no king, and has not for many, many years. Not since the death of Isildur. Now, the stewards of Gondor keep watch over the city and uphold its laws, and await for the heir to the Gondorian royalty to show himself."

"Or herself," You specified, fighting a wince as you heard a voice echo, Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.

Glorfindel raised an eyebrow. "Hardly ever is a mortal woman given any sort of royal duties alone. She would have to marry someone of high standing to be considered queen."

You scoffed. "Great. So the humans of Middle-Earth are assholes, too. Figured I'd escape from that."

"The race of Man is a fickle one," Glorfindel agreed. "More often than not, they are the cause of most grief in the world." He smiled. "But worry not! You are of the Eldar now, and are not subject to their torments."

You shrugged. "Good point..." You beamed excitedly at him. "Tell me about your adventures!"

He did, until the Elvenqueen gave the signal to dismount and to keep silent. You'd been so into Glorfindel's stories that you hadn't noticed that the trees had thinned out, giving way to loose, rusty-brown soil and rocky slopes. All of the Elves sailed silently over the rocks, while the dwarves trampled noisily.

For days (Which passed like extremely-long hours, and you weren't even hungry or thirsty or tired.), the procession trekked through the hills without any audible communication, until the huge hills rose up to your left and in the north into jagged mountains. You kept going, and going, and really wondered how any of the Elves that'd been left could possibly reach any of you for backup if needed in time.

On what was about noon of the week and a half mark, you came to an overlook that spread down beneath you into a huge, rocky valley, dry and desolate. There was no sign of life, and further still, about a couple days away by foot, was another tall, jagged outcropping overlooking a massive structure of bronze. Small black dots which you were going to assume were birds flitted about the top of it, and it stretched what looked like hundreds of feet into the air. You were astonished.

"We came all this way for rocky dirt and an old tower. I don't see any signs of life there." You kept your voice at a whisper, like some of the other Elves who'd began talking amongst themselves.

Blue-Eyes eyed the tower warily. "You're not supposed to."

You turned to watch him walk away. "Then what?" Blue-Eyes gave the Elves some order in Elvish, and you continued. "So we came all this way to see that it really doesn't look like there's orcs there but really, there are, so, what do we do? They've obviously got a shit ton of more orcs behind there. We're probably way outnumbered. So what do we do?"

"We," He replied, "Are going to do just what we came here to do. We're going to scout, by getting as close as we can and seeing what we can. Then we leave. It's as simple as that. If, however, we're ambushed, the rest of the procession has been following us slowly. They're only a couple of hours behind."

You frowned. You must not've gotten that memo because everybody felt the need to speak highly advanced Elvish when you only knew a couple ways to say "hi." "So what do we do if we see something we don't like? Attack?"

"If we can," Blue-Eyes told you, "But it most likely will not come to that. We simply came to see if they have larger numbers than those few who attacked us at the river."

You gave him an incredulous look with an eyebrow raised nearly to your hairline. "...Few?"

He scoffed, and walked off, giving orders in Sindarin that you only caught a word or two of. You were watching him with a glower, when you noticed Lindir sidling up on your right smugly. "...Do you not wish that you know what he is saying?"

You playfully rolled your eyes. "Ugh, Lindy, geez, can you read my goddamn mind?" You turned to mock-glare at him; he was preening. "Well? What was he saying?"

Lindir laughed and wagged a finger at you-- so Elvish. "No no no no no, mellon, I will not make it that easy for you. If you wish to know exactly what he said, then you will have to continue learning from your current point."

Your shoulders slumped. "Really? Damn. Fine, I guess, since it looks like we're camping here." And it did. Practically everyone was going around setting up bedrolls, but you seen no sign of a fire. "Glad it's warm-ish. What, we just supposed to freeze?"

Lindir gestured to Gundabad. "If we light a fire, they will see us, and our stealth will be for naught."

You gave him an odd look. "...What?"

Lindir blinked. "If they see us, our stealth will be for naught."

You stared at him blankly. "...Naught?"

Lindir suddenly looked panicked. "Do they not have that word on your world? It means the same as nothing, in this context."

You scoffed with a cocky smirk. "I know what it means. You Elves are just so damn fancy." You reached over and ruffled his strangely-perfect brown hair, to which he yelped and yanked away from you as if you'd tried to stab him. You left your hand in the air where his head had been, wide-eyed, as Lindir stared at you in shock. "Uhh... Got a sensitive spot on your head there?"

Lindir narrowed his eyes at you. "I should teach you Eldar custom as well. No Elf touches another's hair, for whatever reason, unless it is necessary, which is more than likely never to happen. Braiding and touching another's hair is considered something only for the wedded to do."

You yanked your hand away from where his head had been. "Sorry. I didn't know. Where I come from, that whole hair-ruffle thing is used between siblings or friends."

Lindir smiled softly, straightening his hair. "It is fine, [Y/N.]. You had no way of knowing. But, now I realize I must teach you language and customs-- or perhaps Elros can do that..."

You snickered to yourself, earning an odd look from the Elf. You shrugged. "Nothin', just, I've got specific Elvish teachers now. You're my language teacher, Elros is now customs, Legolas is history, and Glorfindel is music. I'm gonna be a true Elf before I know it."

"Maybe never a true Elf," Lindir laughed, "But close enough!"

You laughed with him, but on the inside, winced. You doubted if he meant it as an insult, but it hit you like one. No, you'd never been considered good enough to be a true anything, especially an Elf of all creatures, who were naturally shiny and glowy and perfect and shit. But still, for someone to confirm it, even in a joking manner, that you'd never be good enough to be a true Elf...

It really hurt.

You acted all casual on the outside throughout the rest of the evening, laughing and joking when needed, but internally, you were fighting a dull ache in your chest. You'd gotten it a few times before-- rarely, but still-- and you knew exactly what it was. The desire to fit in. You'd never had a chance on Earth. But here, you'd hoped to at least be considered a part of their realm.

Dammit, why am I so sensitive?! He didn't mean anything by it!

But what were you really doing here? Struggling to prove yourself to a race that would never accept you. To all Elves, you'd be considered an imposter, like Thorin had said. You knew for a fact you'd never be good around "the race of Man," as they put it, and even in this world, you knew you'd never fit in with them, either. At best, the Men would see you only as a rebel Elf trying to fit into the society of Man. Dwarves? Hell no. What about the Hobbit-folk? Maybe you'd at least be considered a friend to them? No, you were an Elf here. They'd be wary of you, maybe even fearful.

Maybe you should just settle for traveling like a vagabond, like Gandalf does. When everyone else was resting, you stayed by Starlight. You scratched underneath of his chin, and he rested his snout on your inner elbow, allowing you to rest your head on his, staring into his eyes and putting off a feeling of calm. "You accept me for who I am, right?"

Starlight's ears were pricked toward you, so at least he was listening. His only response was a blink. You sighed, closing your eyes. You didn't even have the security of him. One day, he'd grow old and pass away, while you lived on for eons. Carefully, so as not to spook him, you reached up and scratched behind his ears.

"Mellonenin?" Said a voice behind you. You turned to see Legolas, looking concerned. He glanced back over his shoulder, to where the rest of the Elves talked amongst themselves, even conversating a little with the dwarves. "What are you doing out here?"

You gave him a smug look. "What's this I hear, Blue-Eyes? Showing concern for me?"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Hardly. Just curious."

You shrugged, going back to loving on Starlight. "Everybody seemed to be doing good without me. Lindir and Elros said my lessons on custom and language were done for the day, so I figured I'd spend some time with Star."

Blue-Eyes shook his head in exasperation. "I will never understand your shortening of names..." He fixed you with an expression that you couldn't quite read. "...Are you nervous about a potential battle, Sairen?"

You shrugged. "Hack'n'slash. Can't be that hard. I have played video games, y'know, and I did get here through a LARP event." You shot him a cocky grin. "I think I can handle myself. Always have."

Blue-Eyes smiled softly. "Well... I am certain you will surpass my father's standards. I have no doubt of it."

A warm feeling blossomed in your chest. Your cheeks flushed. "Thanks. That really... That really means a lot, for you to be sure of me."

Blue-Eyes hummed thoughtfully, smoothing down Starlight's pitch mane. "Your world did not appreciate you as it should have. You are a kind person, Sairen, and while at times you are eccentric, that only adds to your persona. I know that I can put my full trust in you anytime, and not be disappointed." He smiled at you. "I am glad to know you, mellon. I feel as if you were meant to be here."

For a minute, you both just stared at each other with smiles on your faces, while you felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Any upset feelings from earlier completely burned away. His pale gold hair looked white in the moonlight. Fuck, I will not cry. I will not. Not at all. Definitely not even having to try... You finally blushed and looked away, busying yourself with straightening Starlight's forelock, though the smile remained on your face.

"Damn, Blue-Eyes. You're making me blush." He laughed, and you added, "But... I'm really glad I know you too, Leggy. You've been nice to me, and actually believe in me..." You smirked at him. "That's rare for me. Thank you."

He looked almost appalled. "You do not need to thank me for taking a liking to you, Sairen. It is not as if it is a chore." Suddenly making up his mind about something, he drew his shoulders back. "Would you like to go for a ride together?"

You beamed at him. "Duh! It's a horse, of course I wanna go for a ride!"

Blue-Eyes laughed. "Come on, then, let's go. Stay close to me; we will be going in the opposite direction of Gundabad, but orcs could still roam these wilds."

You nodded as you mounted Starlight, grinning stupidly down at the stupidly perfect Elf who smiled at you. "Got it. Let's go!"

Your heart was pounding dangerously as the two of you trotted off away from camp, talking about the history of Middle-Earth, as you tried to keep from staring outright at Legolas. As your heart faltered, looking at him smiling at you as the moonlight hit his hair, you realized something...

Shit.

Tag List:

@hauntedsiriel​ @tesserphantom​ @taurlel​ @liviaolivia​ @brushwood-souls​​ @dumbladores​​ @littlefrenchfryesblog​​ @hibernatingmadhatter​​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​​ @naryamirie​​ @legolasdeserveslove​​ @escapingthoughtsandsecrets​​ @sagabriar​​

If anyone wants to be added or if I missed anyone, please let me know!

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Dennis

Welllllll this one got a bit away from me. I blame cabin fever (two days snowed in) and my angst addiction. Story 4 for @drawlight‘s advent challenge.

Couple of notes: Dennis, MA is a real place, and chosen for the setting because (a) it is the site of the first recorded commercial cranberry bog in America, and (b) it has a very silly name. It’s actually quite nice, if you manage to visit between the overcrowded tourist season and the completely dead off season, Crowley just has no patience.

Cranberry wine is not as common as the story might imply, especially in 1982. Crowley is drinking Truro Vineyard’s Cranberry Red from their Lighthouse Wine Series, which my parents are big fans of (it’s good, if you like red wines), even though that wasn’t available until the late 2000s. Bad historian, no cookie for you.

Thanks to @angel-and-serpent for reminding me about the wolf spiders.

04 - Cranberry (2,600 words)

Crowley sat on the four-poster bed, staring at the phone. The clock beside it clicked from 1:59 PM to 2:00. He tensed…but nothing happened.

Don’t panic. It’s not always exactly the same time. He tried to occupy himself by listing things he disliked about the hotel room.

The lighting room was atrocious, casting everything in a sickly yellow color. Even sitting alone, he wore his glasses to dull the glow a little. The bed was…passably comfortable, the quilt too stiff, the pillows far too flat. The carpet was worn, though only a little. The color scheme was too…green. He’d seen three ants, which might just be a coincidence, or the start of an infestation.

The phone rang, a sharp jangle cutting right across his nerves. 2:03 PM.

He scooped up the handset and said as casually as possible, “Yeah?”

And relaxed, smile drifting across his face that he’d never allow in a face-to-face conversation.

“No, I’m not too busy, Angel. How was your week?”

Slowly, he leaned back on the bed, stretching the coiled cord as far as it would go.

“Really? No. The audacity, coming in and trying to buy a book. What do they think it is, some kind of shop?” He listened another moment. “Aziraphale, I am taking this exactly as seriously as it deserves.”

He listened for a while longer, with an occasional, “Yeah. Yeah.”

“How are my plants?” He frowned. “Perfectly fine? They’re dropping leaves all over the shop, aren’t they?” Rolled his eyes and sat up. “No, I don’t care if it’s November, they know what’s expected of them. I’ve only been gone…” he sighed. “Twenty months.” He was really going to have to re-establish dominance when he got back.

“Nah, I mean, New York was great. Plenty going on there. We should – you should – yeah, I think you’d like it there.” He winced. He sounded pathetic. “Then two days ago, hey, congratulations, now on to the next location. But…I really think someone cocked this one up. No way this is where I’m supposed to be.”

“Dennis.”

He jumped to his feet. “No, not Dennis who, Dennis. It’s a town.” Pacing was difficult in a room this small. He almost immediately became tangled in the phone cord. “I have no idea who names a town ‘Dennis.’” He struggled to free himself without moving the earpiece. “Some bloody tourist place, beaches and sea food, only it’s the off-season.”

He kicked the last bit of cord off his leg – how had that even gotten there? – and flung himself dramatically into the armchair. It wasn’t as good without an audience.

“Now I’m stuck here, nothing to do, until Hell admits they made a mistake. Who knows how long that’s going to be.”

Furious scowl. “No, I’m not being… who even uses the word histrionic? There’s really nothing here. Even the hotel – you’ll never guess. Three stars.” He frowned. “You try it.”

“There is a cranberry bog.” He admitted sullenly. “Lots of spiders. I’m sure there’s something I can do with that.” Pause. “No, I will not behave myself, I’m a demon. And I was told to make trouble, not that there’s any trouble to get into here.”

He sighed. “Haven’t the first idea, they just congratulated me for something to do with politics or the economy.” Crowley pulled off his glasses rubbing at his eyes. “Come on, Aziraphale, you know that’s not how I work. I don’t even understand the economy. Supply-side whatsname, what’s that even mean? But Hell was really happy.” He shuddered. “Ah, I hope I don’t get a commendation. Then I’ll know it’s bad. It’ll be like the Spanish Inquisition all over again. Or the French Revolution.”

He smiled, twisting the cord around his finger. “No, I – you don’t have to. If you want crepes, I’m sure there’s someplace closer.” He laughed. “Yeah, now you mention it, they do still have the death penalty here, but I think you need something more than a bad outfit.”

He was running out of things to say. He tried desperately to think of something, anything. “Uh, any dinner plans?” Nodded. “No, that’s – that sounds good. I wish – I hope you enjoy it.” He knocked his head against the back of his chair. “Got some wine at the airport. ’S alright, I guess.” Nodded again. “Yeah. No, definitely. Talk to you next week.”

Crowley walked back to the bed and dropped the phone into the cradle with another sigh.

--

It was 2:07 PM and Crowley had the phone to his ear before the first ring even finished. “Yeah?”

“Not good, Angel. I spent days getting those wolf spiders to listen to me, and before I could enact my plan, they closed the bog for the season!”

He covered the mouth of the phone and scowled at the half-dozen spiders on his curtain. “Oi, you lot. Back in the planter or you can winter outside with the rest.” He glared until they had settled back among the spiny shrubs with small red blossoms. He would not be telling Aziraphale about his new roommates, or that the best option at the undersized plant shop had been a succulent called crown of thorns.

“No, it was going to be a great plan. All my plans are great.” He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Well, that worked, didn’t it?”

He groaned and flung himself back onto the green quilt. “Of course I’m still in Dennis, where else would I be? I told them it was probably supposed to be Denver, but does anyone listen to me?” He pulled off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. “The worst is, they keep congratulating me on all the good work I’m doing.”

“No, Aziraphale, I don’t think they meant the spiders, either.” He picked up a newspaper – an actual, local paper, not one of the ones put out by Hell. “I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on, but they don’t exactly get the New York Times here.” He flipped through the titles – Cape Cod Chronicle, Provincetown Advocate, The Register. He’d tried to get a few older issues, but everything was from the current month: November, 1982.

“Why would I go to a library?” Pause. “Ohhhhh. Mm, I suppose I can try that if I get desperate.”

Aziraphale asked a question. “Nh, ah, ok. So. Someone wrote this book about this huge secret satanic organization that, I don’t know, controls the world or something. Accused my side of…some stuff.”

He sighed. “If you must know. Torturing and murdering children.” Crowley sat bolt upright. “No, Aziraphale, obviously not. You’d know if it was true.” He picked at the seams of his black jeans. “I suppose you had to ask.”

“Well that’s the thing. We didn’t know anything about it either. So they sent me here to figure out what was going on.”

He flipped through the pages of the newspapers. “Not much, really. All in their heads, right? Didn’t even need to bother stirring it up, these things really take care of themselves. I’ve just been doing my usual, traveling to different cities, causing a little trouble.”

Giving up on the tiny newsprint, Crowley reached for one of the bottles of cranberry wine that the liquor store had had in abundance. “Well, that’s the thing. I can’t find anything in the papers, so that can’t be it.” He poured himself a glass. “Just…you know. Economic stuff. Banks. Taxes. I don’t know.”

He took a drink. “Mh. There was something, can’t find it now. Some men getting sick out in California. Hope it’s not another plague.” He laughed a little. “Hooray penicillin. Honestly, I’m glad to see the end of plagues. Lousy way to do things.”

Aziraphale turned the conversation to lighter things, and for a while Crowley sipped his wine and listened, learning everything going on back in London, what the customers had tried to buy now, and the angel’s dinner plans.

“Oh, you’ll like this. You know what next week is? Thanksgiving.” He poured the last of the bottle into his glass. “It’s like Christmas, only instead of presents, more food. Very American. The hotel’s serving it in the main dining room.” He drained his glass. “Eh, turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce. The usual. I probably won’t have any, you know, you’re supposed to celebrate with friends, but – yeah I thought you’d like that.” He smiled at the phone. “I’ll…uh, I’ll talk to you then, right?”

After he hung up, he noticed one of the spiders sitting on the floor next to him. “I thought I told you to stay in the planter.” At least they’d cleared up the ant infestation. He’d have to get some crickets in the morning.

The wolf spider waved hairy legs at him. “Oh, alright.” He let her scramble up his arm and settle on his shoulder. “But no wine for you. That’s all I need, bunch of drunk spiders.”

--

The phone rang at 2:01 PM. Crowley didn’t pick up.

Or at 2:10. Or 2:13.

It was 2:29 PM – long after Aziraphale had lost track of the number of times he’d called and hung up – when Crowley finally knocked the handset out of the cradle. “Wha’?” he demanded, slouched on the floor amid empty bottles of cranberry wine.

“’M celebrating, tha’s what.” The spider on his shoulder scurried down to settle on his knee instead. She was always nearby these days. “Cuz I know what Hell c’gratulated me for.”

He dug around for a bottle that was still half-full, drank straight from its mouth. “Not the economy. Well. Starts with that. Whole time I’m here, people been…losing jobs, banks closing. Did I notice?” He leaned his head against the bed. “No, s’pose not. But people…you know people.”

He nodded, watching the spider jump from one knee to the other. “Satanic Cult story just…keeps growing. Accusations. People in prison. Kids always in the middle. ’S not even real. Just. Panic. And then the other thing.”

He held out his hand, let the spider crawl across his fingers. “Said I was done caring, after the Black Death. You can’t… can’t care, you know? Plague’s gotta run its course.” He hadn’t ever really believed that anyway. “But this is… something new.”

He raised his hand and the spider clambered onto his head. It felt nice, little fuzzy legs combing through his hair. “Dunno. Something with… ’mune system? ’S bad. And…and no one cares. Aren’t studying it. Aren’t talking about it. Cuz of who’s sick.”

He picked up the bottle again, draining it, sweet-tart wine running down his throat. “’S what ’m s’posed to’ve done, y’know. Make ’em turn on each other. Cut off th’ ones who need help. ’S like I did in Spain…and France…”

He leaned his head against his knees, curling up beside the bed in his nest of bottles. “Nnhhh, ’f its nothing to do with me, why do I keep getting credit?”

Crowley couldn’t listen any longer. He let the phone tumble out of his fingers, onto the floor. Aziraphale’s voice grew louder, more insistent, then abruptly cut off.

Of course he’d hang up. Why would anyone want to talk to a demon who –

With a strange hum, something burst out of the phone, materializing in the hotel room very close to where Crowley sat. The pale figure stumbled on the wine bottles, then straightened his tartan bow tie and glared.

“Don’t you dare ignore me, Crowley.”

“I…how’d you…”

“Traveling through the telephone lines. You told me you’d tried it once before.”

“It was awful.”

“Not nearly as awful as your driving.” Aziraphale looked him up and down. “Look at yourself. You’re dressed like some sort of…teenaged ruffian. Why is there a spider in your hair?”

“’S fashion,” Crowley answered vaguely.

The angel leaned down and lifted the wolf spider, being careful not to hurt her legs. He watched the spider run across his palm. “And how long has he been like this?”

“Look, Angel, she just –”

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Aziraphale walked away, whispering to the spider. “Really? And you didn’t try to tell him – No, I suppose not. No, you’ve done your best. I’ll take it from here.” He set the spider down among the crown of thorns.

The angel still looked absolutely furious. “You could at least stand up instead of skulking on the floor like that.”

Crowley stumbled and tottered getting to his feet, and it wasn’t only because of the all the empty bottles.  Well, in a way it was.

“Angel, you shouldn’ be here –”

“I should absolutely be here. You’ve been on your own far too long.” He eyed the bottles. “How many of those are from today?”

“Nn. All of ’em. Housekeeping clears them out every morning.”

He tried not to notice the look Aziraphale gave him as the angel snapped his fingers, miracling the bottles into a neat row across the bedside table. “Now sober up.”

“C’mon, Angel, ’m fine.”

“Sober up. I’m not talking to you like this.”

The cranberry wine was a lot less pleasant coming out than it had been going in. And sobriety only made all the emotions he’d been feeling more clear.

Aziraphale watched the liquid pour back into the bottles, and when he was satisfied, jabbed a finger into Crowley’s chest.

“I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense. You are not responsible for what the humans do, or believe, or ignore. That is their choice.”

“I know.” He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. “I just…how can they be so cruel to each other?”

“Free will.” Aziraphale sat beside him, so close their shoulders just barely brushed. “One day an act of kindness that surprises even me, the next…”

“The next, they leave hundreds of people to die horribly, just because they’re different.” This wasn’t any easier to process sober. “Are you going to tell me this is all part of the Ineffable Plan?”

“Would that make you feel better?”

“Has it ever?”

“Then, no. I think I’ll leave it at that.”

They sat together in silence for a long time.

There really weren’t any words to make it better. Free will or not, Plan or not, sometimes, humans were the absolute worst. He didn’t know why, after six thousand years, it still hurt to learn that.

But it helped to know, from the pressure of one shoulder leaning on another, that at least someone else had never learned to stop caring.

“So, are you going to head back to London?”

“After coming all this way?” Aziraphale had run out of severe looks; he just smiled sadly. “I have a few healings left in my allowance for the year. I think I might…see what I can do out in California.”

Crowley nodded, and for once he was the one on the verge of a forbidden thank you.

“Before you go. I think the Thanksgiving dinner is about to start. I don’t suppose…”

“My dear, I would never turn down a feast.”

The demon quickly stood up, re-settling his glasses, manifesting something a little more sophisticated than the punk-inspired look he’d been wearing.

Aziraphale dug under the bed and found an unopened bottle of cranberry wine. “I’m looking forward to seeing how this tastes. Oh, it looks like a little lighthouse! Lovely.”

Crowley paused at the door. “You’re not going to be all weird and pretend we don’t know each other, are you?”

“I suppose not. Since this is supposed to be a celebration with friends.” He eyed Crowley suspiciously. “Don’t go being overly familiar just because I said that.”

“Me? I would never!”

[ginger--binger]

firstly, thank you to @henrydangerismymiddlename for tagging me. idk why you did but thank you i luv you ;u; secondly, i’m gonna put the majority of this stuff under the cut cuz i don’t wanna clog anyone’s dash~ thirdly i would like everyone to know that i’m shoving rice in my mouth while i write this so i don’t start crying again. anyways.

Who was your overall favourite member of Team Danger and why?    i don’t think you guys wanna hear me Go Off about how much i love ray manchester, so i’m gonna choose out of the four kiddos. annnd i’m gonna have to go with piper! i just love how she’s super smart but also is just as chaotic as her brother?? it honestly relates with me so much. 

Who was your favourite non-team danger character and why?             honestly how could you not pick siren? or whatever the heck they changed her name too? like we love a mom who’s really out her being an icon and looking AMAZING while doing it. let’s just ignore the fact that she was highkey cheating on her husband um

Who was your favourite villain and why? okay so dr. minyak is in one of my favorite eps BUT imma go with jeff. i mean i think we can all relate to him. 

What were your top five favourite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why? BALLOONS OF DOOM FUVKING MACKES ME SCREAM EVERYTIME WITH THE JEWISH PUNS ASOUFHVAUFH - and know i’m just gonna go with first four that come to mind because obviously those are my favorites: man of the house, fate of danger part 2, rumblr annnndddd oh god i can’t pick i love theem alllll license to fly ;u;

What were your top five least favourite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why? do not get me STARTED on jam session that was character assassination at it’s finest 😠 toddler invasion bcuz what the heck even was that ep, rubber duck was just eh, story tank was eh and captain mom i guess?? i mean i don’t really hate any of the episodes except jam session

What was your favourite running gag and why?  obvi piper’s established license

What was your favourite one-off throw away gag and why?                   it was in a few episodes but didn’t carry through nearly as consistently as piper’s license, so i’m gonna go with it: whenever one character didn’t hear something correctly or was pretending they didn’t and was like ‘what?’ and then the person who said the original thing would repeat it in the exact same way..does that make sense?? i can’t be the only person who remembers this lmao

What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most? balloons of doom literally makes me CRY LAUGH, honestly jasper always made me belly laugh the most, and how could you not pick henry and ray for favorite comedic duo?

What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional? fate of danger part 2 was easily the most emotional episode for me, not to be Extra but ray always made me emotional (like that man’s got some TRAUMA goin on 😢), and i’m gonna have to go with henry and ray again. i mean there was just a lot going on with them that we finally got to see in full in the finale.

How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst? 54312...and one is only in front of two because they were sooo small in one and i love it ;u;

Who was your favourite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)? okay so i didn’t have any hardcore ships in this show? so OBVIOUSLY PLATONICALLY i always thought piper and ray were HILARIOUS~

What was your favourite Henry and Ray moment/episode? honestly fate of danger part 2 bcuz we finally got the family fluff and angst we deserved and that’s the tea

What was your favourite Chenry moment/episode? okay okay when char eats the bad seafood or steak or whatever and has food poisoning and henry comes back from a mission and is like ‘char are you okay??’ i mean guys i- 👌 but also opposite world and i dream of danger

What was your favourite Hensper moment/episode? WHEN JASPER ND HENRY FALL DOWN THE ELEVATOR AND THE DOOR OPENS AND JASPERS KOALA HUGGING HENRY AND HE’S LIKE ‘YOU SAID WE’D GROW OLD TOGETHER’ OR SOMETHING

What was your favourite Chensper moment/episode?                           how could you not go with dystopia i mean honestly people

If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be? i swear to god ray needs something stable in his life and i just wanted him to have that in the WORST way 😭 so i would’ve added in some sort of plot and character for that. 

If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be?i would tell every male in town to listen to charlotte bolton bcuz she always right, and i’d tell the females to just keep on keepin’ on cuz they’re already perfect. 

If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be? i’m still too busy crying at kid danger’s funeral to say anything tbh

Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favourite and what part was your least favourite? yeah i actually was satisfied with it. we finally got the family content we wanted. my favorite part was how everyone was literally saying i love you too everyone ;u; and my least favorite wassss how we never got to see henry with his mom and dad at the end. idk. i just felt like it was missing a teeny bit. 

What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like?                         i’m honestly excited for danger force plz don’t kill me

Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy? char is president of the world and everyone’s living their best lives because of it, piper is successfully running a mob and working the black market, jasper got his clownin degree at harberd and works at children’s birthday parties and loves it, henry is just chillin and grillin with his homies living life, ray falls in love with someone and leaves behind superheroeing forever and schwoz is the weird uncle that lives in their basement. 

What was your favourite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in? i’m literally a sucker for adult characters somehow finding themselves adopting a child?? and this show de👏li👏vered👏 with four while children a schwoz AND top class humor.

What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in? honestly everyone is just so kind and genuinely funny and talented and i was dying for a place to get more hd content when i first got into the show.

Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show: i know @henrydangerismymiddlename did this one, but ‘i love you, buddy’ is too perfect not to use. although i was thinking ‘i’m not okay’ also.

If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add? i wanted to get closure with henry, piper and their parents at the end. so that. 

----

copy and paste the following questions and answer with as much detail as you want and when you’re done tag at least 2 other blogs to do the same, let’s go!

Who was your overall favourite member of Team Danger and why?

Who was your favourite non-team danger character and why?

Who was your favourite villain and why?

What were your top five favourite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

What were your top five least favourite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

What was your favourite running gag and why?

What was your favourite one-off throw away gag and why?

What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most?

What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional?

How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst?

Who was your favourite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)?

What was your favourite Henry and Ray moment/episode?

What was your favourite Chenry moment/episode?

What was your favourite Hensper moment/episode?

What was your favourite Chensper moment/episode?

If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be?

If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be?

If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be?

Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favourite and what part was your least favourite?

What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like?

Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy?

What was your favourite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in?

What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in?

Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show

If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add?

What are your feelings on Danger Force?

@henry-way annnd @kiddangers just cuz <3 

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Forty-Nine: He Walked Past ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

Every day, without fail, Uchiha Sasuke walks to the training grounds on the outskirts of Konoha to practice the shinobi arts. He’s done so since his release from the hospital, and even before the massacre, his habitual training was intense for one his age. But as the years have passed, and his graduation date grows ever nearer, his hours at the dusty, well-worn swathes of ground have been growing.

...but he’s not the only one.

Since the loss of her title, Hinata has also called the training fields home more often than not. Her clan, of course, has several of the nicest dojos in the village, thanks entirely to their rather hefty coffers. The Hyūga want for very little, and their pride means investing in having the grandest of any comparable object.

But there’s a few reasons why Hinata prefers the training grounds of the village itself. Mostly is the privacy. No risk of being walked in on, and no feeling of being constantly watched: hard to avoid within the Hyūga compound...especially given that judgemental gazes have only increased upon her over the years since her defeat by Hanabi.

Partially, however, it’s a feeling of being...unremarkable. She’s hardly actually here alone, after all - plenty of shinobi come and go through the multitudes of training spaces day by day. But here, she isn’t just the disgraced Hyūga ex-heiress. No...she’s just another Academy student here to practice her taijutsu, maybe some bukijutsu if she feels up to it. No one’s eyes linger on her, judging and sneering. Here, she’s unnoticed. Just how she wants it.

Sasuke, on the other hand...doesn’t have that respite. Instead, it’s here, among the rest of the village’s population, that he’s the most recognized.

The last of the Uchiha.

Even Hinata can’t help timid glances when he walks by, pausing in her routine to subtly follow him with her eyes. Unlike most of the girls in their class, she isn’t as charmed by his appearance or cold exterior. She’s never really understood why they seem to romanticise it. After all, she can still remember when they first met, when the Academy began that April several years ago. He’d been a bright, if not slightly shy boy eager to learn, and full of hope for a future as a shinobi like his brother and father.

...but now, his only drive is vengeance born of a loss so monumental, Hinata doesn’t even dare pretend to comprehend it.

...why the other girls suddenly found him so alluring once he’d suffered so much...she just can’t understand.

Of course, she has her own fallacies in logic: like trailing after a boy who wants nothing to do with her. But she can’t help but find Naruto’s resistance inspiring. While she only knows bits and pieces of why he’s so alone...she also knows that - in spite of it all - he keeps his head up. And with her own challenges to face, and her own insecurities to overcome...she can’t help but idolize him.

Him. Not his losses. It’s about his perseverance, his tenacity, his refusal to let what ails him drag him down into their depths...as she’s so often felt tempted to do.

But that’s not how the girls see Sasuke. They don’t offer sympathy, or empathy. They all want something from him. Attention, affection...neither of which he seems in any way wanting to give. Their shallow vying for his time grates on her...but she’s never had the courage to say anything. Sakura, Ino...they’re popular. Loud. Assured. If they were to turn on her...well, it wouldn’t be pretty. And Hinata already has the weight of her clan’s disappointment resting on her shoulders. She’s not sure she can bear much more.

All of this goes through her head as he goes by, her stance losing its rigidity and instead just...wilting loosely, somberly. It’s all so unfair, isn’t it…?

...but what can she do? What can any of them do? Children with burdens beyond their means tied to their ankles as they try to stay afloat. Those like Ino...those like Sakura...they don’t know that weight. And though Hinata finds herself frustrated with them...she could never wish that knowing upon them.

It would be cruel.

“Oi.”

Startled from her thoughts, Hinata actually staggers back half a step, heart leaping up her throat with a gasp. Wide, pearly eyes stare openly at her addresser.

It’s...Sasuke?

“S...Sasuke-kun…?”

“You have the Byakugan, right?”

“Um...y-yes…?” Why does her reply sound more like a question? He’s never really spoken to her directly before.

“I need your help.”

Blinking, she watches him turn around and start walking, not even giving her a chance to acquiesce. Not...that she has any reason not to, but he seems to just assume she’ll help.

After a brief pause...she follows.

He leads her to a training ground several over from her own. Like her typical spot, it’s partially nestled in the treeline, hidden from most angles (and other training nin). It’s a spot with several targets set into the trees for kunai and shuriken training. “I was trying a new technique that got out of hand. Several of my knives went off-course, and I’m having trouble finding them in the underbrush. Can you see them?”

There’s a moment to take in his words. They’re so...blunt and to the point. It reminds her of her father’s speech, wasting no time and inflected with little to no emotion. “...um...I-I should be able to…” Taking a steadying breath, she lets chakra build, rushing to the pathways leading to her eyes, which swell with energy as her dōjutsu activates.

Immediately, the world is shifted into an inverted black and white, images and energies outlined and layered. Without moving her eyes in her sockets, Hinata scans the area.

There’s...actually a lot of random gear out here. Kunai, shuriken, senbon...even a sai blade lost and abandoned in the overgrowth. Hinata can’t help but blink in surprise.

“...well?”

“Um...there’s q-quite a few. I...I’m not sure which are yours? There’s...weapons everywhere…”

That gets him to frown. “...really?”

“Yes, a-all sorts. Um...I guess I’ll just...s-show you the kunai…”

“Wait.”

She pauses.

“...we can pick it all up. Someone might get hurt.”

Shock holds her in place for a long moment. He...he wants to…? But it’ll take much longer than just finding what he’s lost.

Understanding then gets her to soften.

...maybe parts of him are still the same.

“...all right.”

With Hinata’s eyes and both of their hands, they scavenge up every piece of equipment in the area, ending up with a rather impressive pile. Some has been here so long, it’s all rusted over. The pair bend over their hoard curiously before glancing to each other.

“...w-what should we do with all of this…?”

Sasuke seems to mull it over. “...dunno.” He reaches in, taking up a few senbon, having already claimed the kunai he recognized. “Is there someone we can tell about all this? People might be looking for their gear...or at least someone might be able to use most of this if no one claims it.”

“T-that’s true. Um…” Reaching into her leg pouch, Hinata withdraws a scroll gifted by one of Neji’s teammates. “We could seal it in here, and t-take it to the administration building.”

“You know about seals?”

“Just...just a little bit.” Tenten hasn’t exactly given her private lessons, given the strained relationship between the cousins. “It’ll be easier than carrying it all by hand.”

After a short while sealing up all the blades, needles, and stars, Hinata stands awkwardly for a moment. Is she...supposed to take it by herself? Or is he going to invite himself along? There isn’t much left to do but turn it in, and...surely he wants to get back to training.

“I don’t know what department to take it to…”

“M-me neither. Is there...a lost and found?”

“No idea...guess we can ask.”

‘We’. Not ‘you’, implying she won’t be going alone. Well...all right then. Scroll in hand, Hinata just...makes her way back toward the village and into the administration building. An obliging chūnin listens to their story, and he points them to a desk for missing items.

“So, this is all unsorted weaponry?”

“Y-yes. We, um...we found it all in the training grounds. Some might not be...worth anything. But we didn’t want it to injure anyone unaware.”

The attendant tucks it away after giving the scroll a label. “Good thinking, you two. We try to do sweeps for lost or forgotten supplies, but things always get missed. Guess we might have to start relying on some Hyūga to help!”

At that, Hinata goes a bit pink, bowing sheepishly as they retreat, deed done.

“Thanks for the help.”

“Y...you’re welcome. I’m glad we found them, and...all that other stuff.”

“Least the lady seemed happy about it. And no students will fall and hurt themselves on a dropped blade.”

“That, um…” Hinata pauses, seeing him glance to her. “...that was a g-good idea.”

“Just trying to think ahead.”

...an awkward silence blooms.

“W...well, you probably want to get back to training, so…”

“Not heading back?”

“It, um...it’s getting a little late. I don’t want to get in trouble.” She avoids directly mentioning her father, conscious of how it might make Sasuke feel. “I can always go back tomorrow.”

“Mm…” He hums in response before adding, “...I’ll probably see you there.”

“Y...yeah.”

“Maybe one of these days we could spar.”

“...eh?”

“Never gone up against someone who can use Jūken,” he replies, a hint of a grin on his face. “Might be...interesting.”

At that, Hinata can’t help but go a little pink. “I...I’m not the b-best at it…”

“Then consider it practice. If you want.”

She hesitates...but then nods. “...a-all right.”

“Cool. See you then, Hyūga.”

“Y...you can call me Hinata!” she calls after him, earning nothing but a wave over his shoulder.

...well, that wasn’t how she expected today to go.

                                                     .oOo.

     I keep telling myself to make these a little shorter to make it a little easier...and yet I keep overshooting my word count goal xD      Anyway, some canon verse stuff! Genin era (or...right before it) cuz I love writing them as kiddos. This'd probably be in my team seven!Hinata AU. I just...I'm thirsty for Sasuke and Hinata interacting in canon. Like at all. YOU LEFT ME HANGING, KISHI.      ...*sighs*      Anywho, I gotta get to bed, so...that's all for now - thanks for reading!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: Yuugi Gets a Tomagachi Pt 1

Hey you know what? Lets look at Zero again.

For those new here, I’m also going through Yugioh Season Zero, which is not the anime we got in the States, but the anime that came before it. It’s got all sorts of issues that 90′s anime tend to have, so, consider yourself warned.

You can read my recaps of just Season Zero by clicking on this link right here.

Anyway, it’s been kind of a while since I did one of these, and part of the reason is because I need to use a fandub in order to not have subs across the bottom. And that’s normally not a problem, but as you see in the corner of this next cap here, of the villain introduced this episode, this 3-Stooges-all-stuffed-into-one-body-suit-lookin guy, who has a realllllly weird tradition he does after beating people up,

We have an uhhhhh watermark situation in the bottom right hand corner. As an artist I have a hard time releasing anything with someone else’s watermark on it, but I have literally no other options, so forgive me, Team Millennium, you will probably never see this post because we’re a very smalltime blog. You can find their dubs on Youtube.

Anyway we’re here for pocket toys.

TAMAGACHIS. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve thought about Tamagachis.

(read more under the cap)

Mine are all gone now, I think I tossed them a year after I got them, the fad was pretty strong but short. Since most people got their Tomagachis second hand, (they were just impossible to buy because they were sold out everywhere), none of us had any freakin instructions so I had no idea at all how to use them and it died like 30 times. Usually several times a day.

Honestly Tamagachi’s are both the best and absolute worst child’s toy ever made.

And so Jounouchi’s going to go off about what a Tamagachi is (Tamagatchi? Eh doesn’t matter) but first lets just address the fact that...they’re in History class.

I mean....

...It had to happen eventually.

I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.

I’m just...

...

I’m fine.

Anyway, lets dive into Tamagachi (tomagachi?) physics. I think I spelled Tamagachi incorrectly in all of these caps and hell will freeze over before I fix them all.

These kids are WAY to old to be playing with a freakin Tamagachi, but I dunno, maybe it was different in Japan? My older brothers were playing with like Gameboys and the odd hacky sack during this time period. And then my one brother who refused to play video games that weren’t Basketball related got super into rapping into a mixer table (he is half deaf, he was v bad). That was it, that was their portable digital hobbies.

They saw my Tamagachis and were like...no thanks.

Anyway, the Yugioh Tamagachis have a little twist to them that no Tamagachi on earth has ever had the power to do. Like maybe this seems like pretty low tech to the babies out there who don��t remember these things, but listen--Tomagachis barely functioned. I don’t think they were capable of basic math. That is the only explanation to me at least of how they died so freakin often.

WOW Yugioh. I mean guaranteed, I would have been suuuuper into this when I was 10-11 but also...kind of WEIRD right?

And I mean, no worries, this is Yugioh, so not even Yuugi’s Tamagachi is going to score, but it’s not like they won’t try. TBH, Yuugi’s Tamagachi dates more than Yugi. Yuugi’s Tamagachi goes on more dates than Yugi has in 3 seasons.

Anyway, Jounouchi get’s rightfully scolded out.

And Honda is still a freakin weirdo, something I tend to forget every time I tune into Season Zero, much like this girl, who I also completely forget is a main character on this cast. Hi, Miho.

Of course, Anzu does bring up a good point...

...maybe Spanish is NEXT period?

Headcanon restored.

Miho seems entirely inept at life, to the point that she cannot both attend school and occasionally sweep up the feces of her pocket pet. She was kept up apparently all hours of the night, gazing at a little one inch screen and pressing one of three buttons.

(Anzu’s face trying to understand Miho)

Like I joke that I think Miho could easily be the super villain of this show but this episode she just pumps up the bastard like 200%.

(this is how I ended up with 2 Tamagachi’s, before I burned out and got rid of the little assholes)

So Honda, so horny he can barely think, decides to take care of this pocket pet because he’s pretty sure he can hightail it out of the country with Miho on a romantic trip to Sydney. It sort of makes me kinda miss when Yugioh was vague.

Sensing awkward romantic stuff, Yuugi gets the hell out of there, because weird stuff is happening in this bathroom with his friend, Haiyama, and while most people would leave the bathroom stuff alone, Yuugi has never been able to leave anything alone. Especially if it’s gross and riddled with collusion.

He finds out that Haiyama is giving money to the giant 3 Stooges guy who’s name is Kujiwara (Kujirada) or something like that. I’m hella bad at names and I had to look it up like four times. I’ll get the names spelled wrong like so, so many times.

All in all, the small little Haiyama is divying up money to the current class bully and Yuugi feels a very strong affinity with Haiyama because of it.

Sorry I just had to imagine for a hot minute what the Kaibas would bring to a bake sale.

Anyway, like, this is off topic but also on topic, bear with me, so you know how in Evangelion, they show up to class, and they’re like “weird that we’re in the same class with all the kids who man the robots, weird.” and it’s like “why do they all go to this class if they’re living in completely different parts of the city? Like this one kid is covered head to toe in bandages and then this other kid is the son of the head of the robot illuminati and this other kid lives in like a tent a lot of the time? Like wtf is this weird ass class?” and then, basically near the end of Evangelion you get this reveal (spoilers for a 20 year old anime, look away) that everyone in the class has been hand selected to be put inside of giant robots and that is why so many of them are just screwball beyond reason.

I feel like Yuugi might have a little bit of an Evangelion problem, because we’ve got this class of like maybe...20 students, and they all come from completely different walks of life in this city, and they’re all just a bucket of disturbing psychosis’. Like it is just so crazy that Anzu got completely possessed by Shadi, but this class is filled with so many assholes that no one noticed until she started choking Yuugi to death in the medical ward.

I’m just saying, I think Yuugi’s class was hand selected by the government for scary ulterior robot illuminati motives, and if I were to write a Yugioh spinoff, it would still be Marik’s Boat Time, but in the background of Marik’s Boat Time, these dumb asshole children would be finally forced by the government to use their inner asshole powers to mitigate WWIII against the space aliens (or WW IV, since I figured by that point Kaiba’s already pulled a III just by accident)

Anyway back to little Haiyama, who’s name I cannot spell right to save my life.

This part was real funny to me because when Yuugi went through this similar problem at the beginning of the series, he turned to a toy (or what he thought was a toy) in the Millennium Puzzle. Maybe in his mind, he’s giving Haiyama a gift to help him make friends like the Puzzle did with Yuugi. Thing is, uh.....this Tamagachi isn’t cursed with darkness or anything, so nice try Yuuge, this is a sort of pointless offering. It is nice, though.

Anyway, cute little Haiyama patiently takes the Tomagachi and walks the other way, as far as he can possibly get away, from Yuugi Muto.

DAMN, HONDA. THE BALLS ON THIS MAN.

This note is a note Honda wrote on like a permission slip, and then handed to a dude in class, to hand directly to Honda’s Spanish teacher.

How many jokes have I made that Tristan is the Mom Friend? Wow.

Anyway, this version of Tristan is about as bad at life as Miho is, so he’s going to just peace out in his bedroom playing a pretttttty boring Tomagachi game.

It really takes like just nothing at all for these kids to skip school, wow.

Anyways, they come across a rival game shop storefront, so Yuugi can’t help himself but admire the competition. Surprise, it’s just a different color of Tamagachi.

Before I can contemplate on why this one podunk shop in Domino is selling the only digital pet that is the best in the whole wide world, this happens.

So...that happens. That just happens.

And then we get this weird, very spooky sort of stalker footage of Kujirada, being developed on this amazing set of old timey software, check this out. Please admire how much 1999 is in these next frames.

This episode is particularly weird, but the whole thing with the photo taking is just...it is SO weird.

And like sorry to do this to you, but we’ll go over the rest of it in the next update, cuz this episode had a lot of stuff and so I made just so many caps but...holy hell this episode went completely off the rails. Like this first half is a whole lot of weird stuff but then the next half is just...there’s absolutely no way to predict the next half from the first half of events. It just goes completely wild.

Like this episode further proves my theory that everyone in this class has no choice but to destroy all life with giant mechs. There’s no other way. All of Yuugi’s classmates are here to end the world. Him included. This mess of a class.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 26: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

S: It's a Megaman rock opera and a Megaman rock opera prequel.

[ Intro Music]

O: Hello! And welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs! 

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 26: Attack of the Autobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.

O: Today we open at the Ark, with the Autobots preparing something when the Decepticons attack. Prowl has a confrontation with Laserbeak.

S: Buy Prowl now, kids! He comes with a rad grappling hook accessory. You know you want it. 

O: Tubular! [Laughter] Thundercracker and Skywarp shoot at Optimus and he tries to save Ratchet bridal style but the explosion throws them both face-first onto the ground.

S: No one’s having a good day here.

O: No one is having a good day here. 

S: Rumble then, like, does his thing and sends Optimus and Ratchet into a crevice.

O: Elsewhere, Megatron and Starscream prepare to storm the Ark by spraying each other with invisibility spray.

S: Alright! Stuff that they'll never do anything with ever again. Does no one ever think of using these things, like, seriously? Do they ever think this stuff through? 

O: We both know they don't. Soundwave is the only one capable of planning ahead and no one listens to him enough, obviously. 

S: I guess, and then these two. They just walk smack-dab into the Ark. 

O: The Autobots don't have any sort of scanning crap for their front door based on weight, heat signatures, something?

S: I mean, I thought they had a camera when Nightbird turns up or something. They had a camera at some point, but it looks like they just got rid of their anti-ninja floor which would have maybe helped here?

O: Possibly, but then Megatron and Starscream enter the main Teletraan-1 room and press a button, revealing two beds or recharging chambers, rather. 

S: Oh, what does this tell us about the Autobots? Rather too much, I think.

O: [Laughter] 

S: Megs tells Starscream to hand him the personality disrupter-

O: Oh god.

S: And then he just, like, plops the thing into the machine.

O: We’re in the Teletraan-1 room, right? Like this- this is really the plan we're going with instead of blowing it up or something?

S: Or sabotage? 

O: Sabotage, yeah! I mean, I guess this is sabotage of a kind, but- but, boy in a roundabout way. 

S: Everyone just wants to fuck with each other's heads, we already know that. 

O: I guess. We were talking about Megatron and Starscream. It's like their MMO or their IMO- modus operandi.

S: Yes. And then these two just, you know, trot off outside and then take off. Megatron is laughing maniacally about the Autobots experiencing a “transformation” they won't expect the next time they go to sleep.

O: What is he, Freddy Krueger, now?

S: I guess?

O: [Laughter] The crossover no one asked for.

S: Well, someone might have asked for it.

O: Eh…

S: I don’t know. Back with Rumble, he's kneeling at the edge of the crevasse he created earlier wondering why he didn't hear Ratchet and Optimus hit the bottom.

O: Optimus and Ratchet come out magically flying and say, “Because we'd rather hit you!”

S: Okay.

O: It's so dumb, I can't I hate it. 

S: Unfortunately, the mental image that I have of this because I don't actually remember what happens is that they’re doing side hugs as they fly out-

O: [Laughter] No, I think they both come out punching or something but I don’t remember.

S: Yes but what I’m seeing is like a side hug with punching.

O: Oh my god. [muffled laughter]  

S: I’m sorry, it’s been so long.

O: It really has been awhile since we watched this.

S: And so, um, Megatron orders a retreat and the Decepticons follow suit. 

O: I love that Laserbeak gets away from Prowl in like five seconds flat despite being caught by Prowl’s grapple hook thing. It really makes it seem like he was just toying with Prowl the whole time. He probably was, cuz Laserbeak is actually intelligent. 

S: Yeah and distracting Prowl, or the guy who might wonder why the hell they did this seems like a smart thing to do.

O: Well, or the person who's going, “Golly, where’s Starscream and Megatron?” 

S: Yeah.

O: So, yeah, go- pretty good planning, there.

S: For someone, which was probably Soundwave.

O: Or Laserbeak. I would, I think either one would be capable of this.

S: Yeah. Brawn yells that, “Soundwave didn't finish his nickel-plated knuckle sandwich,” as Soundwave flies off. 

O: Say it with me kids, “Fuck Brawn.” [Laughter] Ratchet tries to chase Rumble but Rumble turns into a tape to escape his grasp. So he falls to the ground and then he turns back into a robot when Ratchet tries to pick him up off the ground and then he flies off, turning back into a tape and hopping into Soundwave’s chest. 

S: And the good chunk of this is happening while Ratchet is knelt on the ground trying to pick him up in tape mode.

O: Which is just a wonderfully ridiculous sentence. Anyway, the Autobots watch the Cons fly away as the moon chills in the background.

S: And this, it honestly just looks like a magical girl anime shot for some reason. 

O: Okay, I'm just like, how do you turn, like, the Transformers theme into a magical girl theme and and, uh, has that been done?

S: At this point, all that's coming to mind is, like, crossing the Transformers theme and the Sailor Moon theme.

O: I feel like Sailor Moon’s not a good fit. There's got to be a better- a better magical girl theme that's a little bit more action oriented, because you've heard- you've heard Sailor Moon, it's a love song.

S: Yeah, but the thing is I don't really watch a lot of magical girl anime, so I have a limited amount of experience.

O: Touche. I feel like Utena- crossing it with Utena would actually work better. Utena’s weird as balls, guys.

S: Yes, but I haven’t seen that yet.

O: I need to lend it to you, because it’s weird. It's, like, my kind of weird. [Laughter] Anyway, Ratchet comments that, “It's kind of weird that Megatron ran off so quickly,” but Prowl thinks that perhaps they were so quick to respond they were able to make their goal impossible to achieve.

S: Unfortunately, Prowl, you are extremely wrong here. You're so very very wrong, you're on a different continent. 

O: [Laughter]

S: You're on a different planet. You're ice cold, buddy. 

O: [Laughter] You can go south, you're, like, in the North Pole. 

S: But Optimus just looks very squintily into the camera and says that, “Megatron always has a method to his madness.” 

O: HE DOES!?!

S: Yes! 

O: I think it depends on the day and the writer. Is he a moron or a genius?  The world may never know!

S: How much crack is involved.

O: Also true. The next day we see the Autobots using the recharge chambers.

S: Oh, and our first victims are Ratchet and Optimus. And this honestly makes me think of- okay so the positioning of- [groans] 

O: Okay, with how the beds are positioned, it looks very, very similar to- to the 50 sitcoms like, you know, the ones. Like, uh,I Love Lucy, uh, Flintstones is not a good example because they did sleep in the same bed. Just, 50’s sitcoms, yes?

S: Yeah, I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, probably. Um. So basically because of, you know, morality codes or something they couldn't show couples sharing beds because- sex. You couldn't imply sex.

O: Basically, despite if they have children. I just can't get over that these are the ONLY two beds on the entire Ark. 

S: It’s share and share alike here, I guess. All the minibots pile in. I don't know. 

O: “Ah, nothing like a good recharge to give the old bolts some volts.” 

S: Some pep in your step!

O: I really hope that's what they meant.

S: I don't want to debate the robot physiology HERE, okay.

O: Not here, not now, uh-huh. The stars! The stars are not aligned! 

S: [Sighs] Optimus tells everybody to recharge after he hops out because they got some shit to do, man.

O: Teletraan-1 informs the Autobots of a rocket launch and Optimus orders everyone to the air force base because the Decepticons will obviously be trying to steal it.

S: [Sighs] It’s the only air force base in the continental United States, obviously. It's the only thing the Decepticons can pay any attention to.

O: Apparently, but this is not before his eyes turn red and he starts to sound real evil, though.

S: Yeah, everyone else appears to be bitten by the evil bug, too, as their eyes also start glowing.

O: We have confirmation that Optimus, Skyfire, Prowl, Bluestreak, Brawn, and Hound have been affected. Teletraan can apparently sense evil now as it blasts out about an evil presence being di-tected- di-tected? Detected!

S: Honestly, why couldn't Teletraan-1 tell there were evil presences there earlier with Megatron and Starscream, or any of the other damn times the base has been infiltrated because-

O: [Whispering] Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck knows? [Normally] Megatron appears to be talking to Teletraan-1 directly now and he kind of begins to monologue to it-

S: How the hell is he aware of any of this?

O: The personality thing had a camera/communication device on it or something?

S: Well, I mean, I guess Laserbeak could have planted cameras.

O: He's a good birb.

S: Yeah, either that or maybe he's there, considering that in the movie we see him, like, filming stuff.

O: That's also true, but we don't see him in there at least as far as the cartoon was concerned. 

S: That's true, I mean, the Decepticons didn't even see what he was filming until after he turned up, went into Soundwave, and Soundwave showed them or... 

O: True. However, for that matter, why the hell didn't they just send Ravage for all this? He- he can turn invisible! 

S: He was off doing something else? 

O: Getting a college degree? In what?

S: He's taking a course in oil painting.

O: I hate you, and I hate that this the obvious answer here (is because of you): he's getting a degree in Russian!

S: Because he's always a-rushing.

O: [Groans loudly] It's the only excuse I have for Beast Wars. It’s definitely your fault, though!

S: [Laughter] The camera pans out as Megatron blabs some more. Additional bot’s that are infected are: Ratchet, Sideswipe, and Trailbreaker. So we did cover it. 

O: We did cover it. Megatron orders the Autobots to silence Teletraan and Optimus just punches the fuck out of it. 

S: I guess that's one way to handle that, you can't turn it off. But, I mean, well maybe you can turn it off. But I mean, someone's gonna be real unhappy about that, later. 

O: Possibly. Whoever the poor sod is that's gonna have to fix it. 

S: Also, Optimus is probably gonna feel like a bit of a heel.

O: I imagine. Outside we see Bumblebee and Jazz returning back to base with Spike and Sparkplug. 

S: Sparkplug was feeling very, very posh today so they took the Porsche. 

O: Apparently, they've been updating Jazz's sound system.

S: I find it really funny that the humans have a better quality sound system than the giant robots.

O: Well, I mean, if high quality sound wasn't something they needed or wanted during war than it may make kind of a certain amount of sense.

S: That is a good point about, like, resource management. 

O: I mean like, it wouldn't be highly on the list of priorities. Can we hear what they're saying? Yes? It's good enough.

S:  Yeah, granted I don't know- Decepticons are the only ones who seem to use bugs or anything.

O: Also true. Otherwise it’s Bumblebee overheard it. [Laughter]

S: Yeah. Bumblebee overheard it or, possibly, Hound getting weird radio transmissions ‘cause I think that happened too.

O: Oh right, right when, uh, he jacked into Megatron's head.

S: Yeah. 

O: He didn’t, but that’s really what it looks like. 

S: It really is. He had a stupid little radar dish.

O: Pretty much.

S: Yeah, so Jazz stops and they proceed to test out those new speakers but Bumblebee’s just like, “I’m- I'm done, I'm going back to base.”

O: I love that Sparkplug complains about the volume as Bee’s driving off, too. Like, Sparkplug, like, you could have gone with Bee. [Laughter]

S: Yeah. 

O: Uh, but Bee arrives back to base and somehow initially misses the giant hole punched into Teletraan-1.

S: He rolled a one on this passive perception.

O: And that’s a whiff! [Laughter]

S: He got distracted by something else.

O: [Laughter] Bluestreak?

S: Maybe. Because Bluestreak’s being all creepy here and trying to drag Bee back to bed.

O: I love that Bee’s reaction to this uh, because Bluestreak picks him up. He's like, “No, wait-” But he doesn't sound afraid, he just sounds confused.

S: Now’s not the time Bluestreak and I mean, this just makes me wonder whether, like, the other Autobots just like, occasionally pick up the minibots?

O: Yeah. Like, do they- do they carry them? Are they like, “We need a nightcap and someone to hug.” Bumblebee is very huggable, obviously! 

S: I don't think Brawn would be especially-

O: No-

S: Brawn- or Huffer or Gears.

O: No,no, Brawn is going to sit in the robot playpen, for being mean to Perceptor. 

S: Yeah, I don't think Brawn, Huffer, or Gears would be especially, uh, popular with that but who knows?

O: Huffer would just whine all night. He would not be fun. But Bee is very popular as a cuddle buddy. A cuddle bug if you will.

S: Yeeeeeaaaaaaah!

O: Yeeeeeaaaaaaah! [Laughter]

S: [Sighs] Jazz manages to get some rock and roll with real rocks with his new speakers.

O: Which Sparkplug calls an avalanche but wouldn't this be a rock slide?

S: I don't know, maybe he's got different parlance, but I think it would just be a rock slide. Who knows. Jazz and the two humans head back to base, arriving just as Bluestreak shoves Bee into one of the infected recharge chambers. 

O: Bluestreak fires on Jazz but Jazz beans him in the crotch by throwing something. 

S: What did he throw? Who knows. Do they need it later? Also, who knows. Bee seems fine, I guess? I guess the chamber didn't turn on or wasn't on that long enough but-

O: He's fine, he's not evil. Eh.

S: And Sparkplug is able to fix Teletraan-1, so I guess he's the one who regrets everything.

O: [Laughter] I hope he gives Optimus a good talking to later.

S: Yeah, and Teletraan-1 then displays a video of Megatron shoving the thing in the thing, so I guess Teletraan-1 knew? 

O You couldn’t have said something sooner? You had all night, Teletraan. Really?

S: Teletraan-1 has just the shittiest priority's, I guess.

O: Apparently, Sparkplug asks how many other Autobots are infected and Teletraan-1 just says, “All of them.” 

S: Those beds got an awful lot of use and Teletraan-1 has no excuses-

O: No-

S: For not telling anyone. 

O: No, none excuses. 

S: The Autobots crash through into- through into the air base.

O: Welcome to this 30 second interlude. Now back to Spike and Co. 

S: Teletraan-1 warns them about the attack on the base and Bee and Spike drive off. 

O: Ratchet and Hound are in the front of some building, under orders to retrieve the plans for the solar satellite. Inside we see a female scientist chatting on the phone. 

S: She's literally the best human in this episode, and I have a question. Is this the first we’ve ever heard of the solar satellite or it's-

O: I think they might- I can't remember. I think they said it earlier in the episode when um, when teletraan one was like, “A solar satellite is going to be launched-” 

S Oh, yeah, it’s to do with a launch or whatever. 

O: Yeah because that's what they're launching.

S: Alright.

O: So I think Teletraan-1 might have mentioned it earlier when the Autobots were like, “Oh, we have to go there and protect it from Decepticons!” and then, “Oh no, we're actually evil right now.”

S: Okay, okay.

O: But she is definitely the best human in this episode.

S: She's alerted to the two Autobots attacking and then grabs the blueprints for satellite and books it. Meanwhile we cut to, um, evil Ratchet and Hound stooped over, stalking through the halls.

O: I love that, even, evil they aren’t just destroying everything, right now. 

S: Even evil, Ratchet’s got a delicate touch.

O: Not too delicate, and he does smash through the wall slash door to get to the scientist. 

S: I guess you do what you’ve got to do when you're-

O: Evil?

S: Evil or mind controlled or whatever. So the lady scientist, who’s name is Dr. Harding, breaks a window and then jumps out, cushioning her fall with a convenient table umbrella and then hoofing it off into the distance.

O: Cue scenes of destruction, as the Autobots are just breaking all of the shit back at the Air Force Base. 

S: They have Optimus smashing things and shouting, “Destroy, destroy, destroy!” 

O: Bee and Spike arrive on scene with Bumblebee trying to talk some sense into Prime but he gets punched in the face. He says, “Prime, it’s Bumblebee, I'm one of you're-”

S: I’m one of your whats?

O: What am I, anyway? Am I your son? Is that how this works?

S: Eh, who knows? Megs busts uh, into Mission Control like he's the freaking Kool-Aid man, you know, again, threatening a scientist who tries to stop the launch.

O: Then he destroys a bunch of computers and tells Soundwave to hack the main computer which looks suspiciously like the bank of computers he just had destroyed.

S: They wanted to- they wanted to save some money. Got to reuse that stuff. Soundwave’s just got this itty-bitty little Jack in his finger that lets him jack into the computer immediately and, honestly, I'm kind of entertained that somehow... the robots are compatible with human computer systems. 

O: I mean, I wouldn't put it beyond Soundwave to have like purposely thought that far ahead-

S: Yeah-

O: Either but- but, yeah.

S: Going backwards compatible for something as primitive as a human computer-

O: In the 80’s.

S: -in the 80s.

O: Yeah.

S: Verses, they're giant robots from outer space.

O: I mean, when we could make the argument about their tech isn't super as advanced as you'd think considering maybe they've been stopped since the start of war but ehh?

S: Maybe, it's just they're like 4 million years old, at least. Who knows what tech they had and also they're obviously a hell of a lot more-

O: Tech savvy than- than humans, yes.

S: They should be. Umm, and then afterwards he espouses about how “The launch can't be stopped now and in two Earth hours they'll be on the rocket, on their way to Cybertron.” 

O: So let me get this straight. You went into Mission Control, blasted a bunch of stuff that apparently didn't matter, then had Soundwave reprogram the thing so it'll go to Cybertron. Do they even have enough fuel for that? Do they know?

S: That's really what I was wondering too, or is there even going to be enough room for all of them on that considering that, you know, that sort of thing. It's like a rocket but most of that is just to convey this satellite into the upper atmosphere and then it just stays there.

O: I don’t even know if this is supposed to be manned. Like, if they were just launching a satellite I don't even know if there should have been room for people, period. 

S: There shouldn't have been any sort of room there. Whatever room there might be is supposed to be, like, fuel tanks or rocket engines.

O: But, but yeah! A lot the rocket gets dropped off in pieces during liftoff. Do they know that?

S: I think they just don't give a shit. I don't know, they don't give a frag, cuz they're robots. I mean, I assume that they scope this stuff out but I don't know.

O:  If Soundwave or the cassettes did recon they're gonna be fine. Seeker’s did it, they’re all going to die.

S: Yeah.

O: That- that's my take on it. 

S: Back at the Ark, Sparkplug says a bunch of gobbledygook about a thing he made to revert the Autobots back to normal.

O: I call bullshit, sir. But we all know it's gonna work because that's how this show works, so carry on. Uh, Jazz simplifies this as a “goodness transfusion.” 

S: Oh, Jazz, we love you, we do.

O: We do, you're great. Bluestreak gets back up and Jazz seems to think they've found their volunteer test subject.

S: How did they not tie this dude up while he was unconscious?

O: Good question, it's not like Jazz didn't have time while Sparkplug was fixing Teletraan-1 and making his goodness transfusor thing. What was he doing? 

S: For that matter, why the hell didn’t Jazz just- just, like, sit on him or something, so they didn't have to- didn't have to tie him up. Or have anything to tie him up. 

O: An even better question. [Laughter]

S: I don't know, they probably could have locked him in one of the recharge chambers or-

O: Something.

S: Jazz distracts Bluestreak while Sparkplug runs up and sticks the device on Bluestreak’s leg.

O: This works as Bluestreak’s optics change from red back to blue.

S: And he informs Jazz that- and Sparkplug about Megatron's orders to take the airbase and steal the plans for the satellite.

O: The three of them set forth to make more attitude adjusters. Apparently, they're not multi-use.

S: I have a number of questions, including why they're stealing the satellite plan but they're literally going to be stealing the satellite?

O: Megatron wants to cover all of his bases.

S: I guess? Maybe they wanted to like review if they're going to adjust the satellite or something-

O: I suppose.

S: I don’t know, or just make copies of it but if they have it they could just- I don’t know.

O: I don't know. 

S: Meanwhile, Dr. Harding continues to be a fuckin badass, climbing into a dumpster to hide from Hound.

O: In heels. I’m pretty sure she’s in heels. 

S: Yeah. 

O: Seriously, I’m in love with this woman. Why isn’t she in the series more? 

S: She and Carly would have gotten along well. 

O: I would have loved to see that.

S: She, Carly, and Chip.

O: Yeah! Yeah! Science buddies! 

S: Mm-hmm. So Dr. Harding’s, um, hiding attempt almost doesn't work as Hound begins picking up dumpsters and crushing them, but Jazz shows up just in the nick of time. 

O: Sparkplug and Jazz are able to return Hound to normal but the doctor runs off and right into the still-evil Ratchet. 

S: Jazz is a very on point today as he stops Ratchet just in time, as well.

O: Back at the Air Force base, the Autobots are continuing their rampage continuing to blow up all of the shit. 

S: Yep, tired of watching this Bee jumps on a plane and tells Prime he'll have to destroy him, too. 

O: And commercial break! Buy the toys, kids, Bumblebee’s gonna die! 

S: And back to the show, Skyfire is in the air, blowing shit up.

O: I just feel really bad for him, he's gonna feel super bad if he remembers any of this when he wakes up.

S: Um-hm. Sparkplug, Dr. Harding, Jazz, Bluestreak, Hound, and Ratchet arrived on the scene. They're just collecting people-

O: Yeah, this is like the superhero movies where you have to go collect each superhero. I also kind of love that Dr. Harding was riding in Ratchet, who was tried to kill her a few minutes ago.  Respect, madam, respect. 

S: Yup, they see Skyfire and then Scarf- eaugh- 

O: [Snorts] And then Scarfplug-

S: Sees Skyfire and Sparkplug wonders how they're going to get one of the devices way up on him. Hound offers to shoot it with his vertical beam gun.

O: Patent-pending.

S: They're able to shoot him once they get him to come a bit closer and then Skyfire returns to normal and then, now that he’s there, they load up and roll out.

O: Still the taxi service, buddy.

S: The scale is incredibly off here because Skyfire just looks like he's bigger than the Ark. 

O: Big boy! Bee is still holding the ground against Optimus but gets lifted up in the air, just as the others arrive in Skyfire.

S: They show up just in time to interrupt the evil Autobots’ arts and crafts lesson.

O: With aircraft! 

S: There's so much you can do with aircraft.

O: Obviously. Look! I can make pretty flowers. 

S: Yeah. You can give yourself wings.

O: [Laughter] Look Optimus! I’m a Seeker! 

S: Hound is able to shoot Prowl and Brawn with the personality things but misses Optimus. Who proceeds to chuck Bumblebee across the tarmac. 

O: Prime splits into three, by way of his trailer, Roller, and himself. So, the Father, Son, and Holy Trailer? [Laughter] 

S: Yeah.

O: Hound nails the trailer and Roller in short order.

S: They missed their chance to hit the three for one deal and now they have to get them all separately and, oh no! They're down to their last attitude exchanger.

O: They apparently only had time to make one extra.

S: I'm kind of amused by the fact that they acted- so the thing is, technically, I think they made three extras.

O: I guess you're right, because they missed with one, and then they had to hit two or- for the trailer.

S: that- four.

O: Yeah, they had- so they had to hit his trailer and Roller and then him. So you’re right. Technically, they made four. 

S: Which, that is actually a pretty good margin of error, I think.

O: Yeah, I’ll give you that one. You're right, they were like, “Okay, we know this many are infected, presumably,” and then they made four extra and probably ran out of time, which, fair. Okay, fair. 

S: So they- they made an attempt. 

O: They did. I got to give Jazz and Sparkplug more credit here. And Bluestreak, I guess, he was helping, too. 

S: Yeah. Bee yoinks the uh, remaining attitude adjuster out of Ratchet’s hands and books it on over to Optimus.

O: Optimus is able to fight the control for just long enough for Bee to get the attitude exchanger on him.

S: The Autobots realize they must stop the rocket launch to stop Megatron's plan and Dr. Harding says that it must go into orbit and that earth needs the energy that it'll supply. 

O: Why didn’t the Cons just steal it from orbit?

S: Because they're dumbasses and we've got to have something so, you know, have drama here.

O: Do they not have object permanence? Like, “Oh, we can't see it anymore, it's not there anymore.” 

S: I guess, I don't know they've made so many fucking spaceships at this point that they just have-

O: This shouldn't be a problem! [Wheezes] Hell, Starscream is apparently space worthy! They could have just- I don't know, waited a couple weeks and chucked Starscream into the atmosphere? 

S: I imagine all the Seekers are space worthy. I mean, have we gotten to the episode where Shockwave just rides Starscream in-

O: No, not yet.

S: -in space.

O: No, no, not yet. But- but yeah like we have proof that, at least, Starscream is space worthy and presumably both the other Seekers are, too. 

S: I don't think, shoot. What's-his-face? Astrotrain has come in yet but he's definitely space worthy.

O: Like, yeah, yeah! Fair, fair.

S: And we know Megatron’s space worthy.

O: Oh well, yeah, right! He can fly, why am I arguing with this? 

S: Yes, he can fly and, I mean, we already saw him survive a planet explosion or whatever happened with that.

O: I would still- don't know how that worked but, uh, they all load up into Skyfire again, and head over to the rocket launch.

S: Megatron rips a door off the rocket and the Cons pile in and-

O: That's not gonna cause problems at all here, huh?

S: Oh, it should. I mean, it doesn't mean that it will. 

O: This ship doesn't operate on reality... right.

S: It- Yeah, it ignores so many things.

O: It does. The rocket blasts off and Ratchet and Optimus bail out of Skyfire to land on it.

S: They, um, they're go- they're the go-team, apparently. Where's Wheeljack in this? I feel like Ratchet’s missing his buddy.

O: Wheeljack hasn't been in this entire episode so I have to assume he's taking the Dinobots somewhere, otherwise I'd assume they would have all been smashing stuff up, like with everybody else.

S: At this point, I just think Wheeljack, Perceptor, and Beachcomber took the Dinobots out for some enrichment and missed the whole thing.

O: I mean, probably just so they didn't have to fight the Dinobots uh, is why they're not in here but, uh, yeah, no, I agree with that. That's much nicer. 

S: Yeah, they're all out doing swamp science or something.

O: See, I'm just imagining - they took the Dinobots to the beach.

S: [indistinct]

O: Beachcomber’s with them, right?

S: Yeah.

O: So, they're all on the beach. Uh, Wheeljack is there with whatever a robo pina colada is, uh, Perceptor’s taking sand samples, Beachcomber is corralling the Autobots- er, the- the Dinobots close to shore. It's a very, very heartwarming family vacation. So Ratchet could get a bit of a break, you know, not having to babysit the dinosaurs and then they come back and it's- it's like that gif where the guy walks into the room and everything's on fire. That- that is what Wheeljack came home to- and he's, like, “Probably a good thing I left although, boy, do I hate coming home.” [Laughter] 

S: Yeah, yeah. Meg- Ratchet and Optimus have been trying to separate the rocket and the satellite so Optimus can take it into orbit and Megatron doesn’t like this plan.

O: Nevermind how this rocket is fucking GINORMOUS for some reason because the Cons are so! Tiny! [Laughter] Specs just keeps, like, shrugging in more exaggerated motions, I’m sorry you can’t see it.

S: Yeah. The other Autobots want to help but aren't sure how- with how to do it without hurting Optimus and Ratchet, until Jazz gets an idea, and I wonder what that idea’s gonna be.

O: He gets on the outside of Skyfire and I love Skyfire so much here, he's like, “Watch the first step, it's a doozy,” and, of course, all I can think of is, “Watch the first step, it's a dooooozy!”

S: And then Jazz transforms into car mode, so we have a car... riding a jet. Specifically, a Porsche riding a space jet.

O: I'm pretty sure that Skyfire’s, ah, model or whatever was not big enough to do that in Macross but alright. [Laughter]

S: Who knows? And about that Chekhov's gun or, in this case, Chekov’s speakers.

O: Jazz uses his new sound system to create a musical sonic boom.

S: Jazz weaponized music to take out a rocket.

O: Of course he did. Megatron orders the Cons to, “Abandon rocket!” 

S: Ratchet and Optimus land safely on Skyfire who takes them high enough for Optimus to yeet the satellite into orbit.

O: [Laughter] 

S: Honestly, why don't they just get Brawn to do this? 

O: I- do we even see Brawn? Is Brawn here? I don't remember.

S: I don't know, it's just no- I mean, why don't they just hire out Brawn’s services to toss things into orbit? 

O: [Laughter] Well, or, like, Perceptor. I know he's not in this episode but he's in the next episode as like- I could see Perceptor shooting something into space with an amazing degree of accuracy.

S: That’s true.

O: Probably would take less fuel, too. 

S: Yeah. So, yeah, Optimus yeets the stupid satellite into orbit and it's just goofy as hell. Back at the Ark, Ratchet’s yanked out the personality displacer from the recharge stations.

O: This would not have fucking happened if you had more than two beds! In the entire Ark! 

S: And if they weren't controlled by the same damn thing, like, if you had separate control systems.

O: Right, so you couldn't just shove the thing in Teletraan-1. But! Everyone decides to fight for credit for saving the day.

S: Ratchet has a fit of temper, as he does not want to share and begins to argue with Sparkplug, 

O: “You wouldn’t know a microchip from a potato chip!” The Autobots know what potato chips are.

S: Well, Ratchet does, and presumably Spike has eaten potato chips in Bumblebee so he might have had to deal with-

O: -Crumbs.

S: [Laughter, indistinct] -crumbs!

O: “Hey, Ratchet, I need a good vacuum.” “You need a what!?!” 

S: And we have a total on the number of Air Force jets destroyed by the Autobots. 

O: Jazz says it's 47. 

S: How much is that gonna cost the Autobots, anyway?

O: Nothing! Optimus says Ratchet, Sparkplug are gonna fix them!

S: Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Uhhh, I’m not sure they're gonna pass muster for safety tests and Spike says that they're gonna be doing it for weeks.

O: Weeks? Just weeks!?

S: Well, I guess when you have giant alien robots doing all the heavy lifting it's not that bad but rather they shouldn’t be putting those back together, anyway. They should really just make new ones at this point because planes have a lot of safety requirements-

O: Yeeeaaaah.

S: -and stuff. Uh, I don't think anyone's gonna want to be in those planes.

O: I wouldn't blame them and join us next time for episode 27: Microbots! Get ready for a fantastic journey, into Megatron???

S: Oh, it's into a world of imagination.

O: Like nothing you’ve ever seen. Also Perceptor! It is a Perceptor episode and I am delighted.

S: Yessss. 

O: Also fuck Brawn. 

S: And we have some fanfic for today but I think Owls’ gets to be the one to give the recommendations.

O: So, I've mentioned this before, but I have a whole uh, sheet of fics, just in case Specs forgets to do the fics. And Specs forgot to do the fics, so I get to do it today. 

S: A lot- A lot of stuff happened recently.

O: It's been a busy month, guys, it has been so busy. I am so tired. The first recommendation is “Quiet” by LittleMissSweetgrass. Continuity is IDW, the rating is G. It is slash, because it is Cosmos/Soundwave. Our characters are Soundwave and Cosmos, and “Soundwave gets a virus and suddenly it is very loud.” It's a one shot. It is part of a series. It is very short but cute and uh, Coswave is one of my favourite ships ever,  which is why they got added to this because it doesn't exist in G1 and I’m well aware it doesn't exist in G1 so I was, like, look I gotta put ‘em somewhere. 

O: And then our other one is “Here Be Monsters” by Lush_Specimen. Continuity is IDW, it's G, its slash, it has Hoist/Trailcutter, Rodimus/Thunderclash, and uh, Minimus Ambus/Megatron- Our characters are Megatron, Hoist, Rodimus, Thunderclash, Riptide, and Minimus Ambus. In summary, “A late-night visit from Hoist forces Megatron to confront the overwhelming personal tragedies created by his legacy of violence. As he contemplates the long reaching consequences of his words he begins to wonder if he truly deserves a second chance.” This is multi-chapter but it has been completed. Um, it's just kind of nice. I'm always- I'm always here for ah, Lost Light Megatron actually having to think about things and being forced to consider, basically, his actions. So I really like this one.

S: Nice, thank you. And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for, “Afterspark Podcast,” such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few.  Until next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I'm Owls.

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...