#why did my life not matter
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strathspey · 6 months ago
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i hate that in your cowardice, your selfishness, your inability to let me go, you subsumed all the joy in my life and then left me to rot alone.
and
as always
it's my fault
my flaws
my future...
but you won this time
are you happy?
i hope you feel one tenth the pain you inflicted on me with your friendship.
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claitea · 3 months ago
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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sammygender · 5 months ago
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i’ve never been as angry on behalf of a character as i am for sam winchester
#currently thinking about season four and five. absolutely fuckibg mental#the world literally reshapes itself around him to prove him wrong#its all framed as God. Sam was so stupid and selfish and reckless for drinking demon blood. He just liked the power of it and he chose a#DEMON over DEAN.#but. that’s not the story they tell in s4.#like even aside from every single other complexity. Sam is literally right. he has ZERO WAY of knowing that killing lilith is the final seal#AND DEAN DOESNT KNOW TJAT EITHER. like sam is literally right he can kill lilith and he does kill lilith. dean wants lilith dead just as#much. sam’s cardinal sin is disobeying dean and then the world flips around on him and plot twist sam and dean were both wrong all along and#killing lilith is what will bring back lucifer :)#but. it’s not framed like that either. it’s framed like SAM BROUGHT BACK LUCIFER BY KILLING LILITH WHILE HIGH ON DEMON BLOOD#dean you wanted to kill lilith too?????????#but. doesn’t matter dean despite being mostly motivated by jealous anger is retroactively proven to be Right#and sam is retroactively proven to be Wrong. he is bad#i just. jesus. sam’s not evil ever. he’s hardly even that fucking morally grey#and he still thinks there’s something wrong with him that he’s a freak that he’s inherently evil and needs to be purified#why?? cause of something fucked up that happened to him when he was a baby#and because he’s disobeyed his father and his brother and been angry at awful things that have happened to him#makes me feel fucking insane actually#no wonder narrative frames sam as evil no wonder he’s inherently marked as Bad by the forces in supernatural like even on a meta level#in supernatural gods just another shitty father. embodiment of the familial patriarch. and from sam’s very first moment on the show he’s in#opposition to that he’s ran away from john and he argues with dean. therefore he is evil#i don’t think my words r really making sense right now but. fucking hell#and sam is so swamped in guilt all of season five and he just fucking accepts that everything bad is his fault#and he gets tortured in the cage to save the fucking world and it’s STILL not enough. not to appease his own guilt and not to appease deans#anger at him. dean is still throwing his perceived violations back at him in like season nine!!#and whenever he tries to get out it’s treated as yet another Sin. narrative acts like sam thinking dean was dead and having a life outside#of hunting is The Worst Thing He Ever Did#worst sin sam ever commits in the eyes of the show is disobedience. Absolutely awful actually#spn#sam winchester
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buckyscap · 28 days ago
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you know when you experienced something so traumatizing or grieved too hard your brain sort of temporarily locked that memory to protect you from the pain? i think that's what's been happening to me after deadpool 2 bc tell me why every time i rewatch that movie, i always forget how painful these scenes are?
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they always leave me sobbing and totally wrecked but with each rewatch i'd just... forget they would eventually happen and i'd eventually get hurt??
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seiwas · 29 days ago
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hello sel!!! hru doing??
The ask game is super fun! How about Gojo + vindictive.
I hope u hv had a lovely day 🫶
zuro anon
zuro anon hello!! thanks for sending in a prompt!! i'm doing good 🥺 spending this lil vacay at home, mostly 🥺 and happy to be back writing 🥺 i hope you have the loveliest weekend 💗
contains: non-canon, childhood enemies to lovers (ish), (modern) arranged marriage, reader wears a braid and dresses
gojo + vindictive
you hate gojo satoru. you have ever since you were 5.
he's a bully―a real cocky one at that, with no regard or remorse for how his actions affect those around him.
on the day before your 6th birthday, right as your parents gathered together for the annual countdown, he gobbled up the entire plate of your favorite milk cakes before you could even take a bite. this marked the start, the beginning of a vengeance stewing inside of you.
at the age of 8, when you first learned how to do your own braids, he would tug at them, pull them free and unravel all your hard work for the past hour. you used to chase him for it, yell "satoru!" with all the strength your little lungs could muster and he would merely laugh and run faster.
the name "satoru," you've learned, must be synonymous with "sabotage," because it's all he's ever done. he threw the flower geto suguru handpicked for you straight to the ground, and purposely splashed gutter water all over the white dress you intended to wear on your first date.
not to mention, he's always rubbed in the fact that he's better than you, at everything―dangled all his accomplishments in front of you as if he knew they were just centimeters out of reach.
gojo satoru is solely responsible for tainting your childhood memories a miserable cerulean blue.
so, when your parents sit you down one day and tell you that you'll have to marry him, you feel transported in that moment, to each and every instance gojo has ever wronged you. it flips through your mind like a montage of flashbacks in a movie.
it's both surprising and not. your families have always been partners, in everything―business, education, and now you guess, life as well. you hate gojo's guts but this creates an opportunity you don't think can result from anything else.
so, sure, you'll agree to the marriage―only to make his life a living hell.
"hello, fiancée," he greets you, for the first time since the agreement.
you don't do anything to hide your disgust, face scrunching up as you spit out, "shut up, satoru."
the wedding planning is horrendous―at least, you hope it is for him. you pick out every single cake flavor you know he hates and choose the brightest venue possible for the event. the lights you pick for the afterparty are strobe lights, and you make sure to do multiple test runs just to play with his eyes. it doesn't occur to you that the solution to his light sensitivity is simple: just a plain pair of shades.
you wear plumping lip gloss on your wedding day, just so his lips burn when you have to kiss him. but gojo is either extremely numb or just good at faking it, because all he does is grin as he whispers quietly before parting, "spicy."
in preparation for your married life, you create a ledger of some sort―a book of accounts housing every single thing gojo has done wrong. you write down your plans to get him back for each of them, a list of pranks and inconveniences to make him regret ever messing with you all those years ago.
at half a year of marriage and 25 years of knowing each other, he casually tells you the big "i love you," but you're sure he doesn't mean it. you tell yourself your heart is racing from how infuriating his existence is; at how stupid his face looked when he'd said it. not anything else and most especially not the little dimple on his cheek that shows itself every now and then.
(you didn't know it yet then, but he'd found the ledger you kept and read through it all. the one-year plan, the three-year plan, the five, and so on. and it does nothing but strengthen how he feels about you, since he was 6, 14, and a few years ago at 24.
it's at your third year of marriage that you find out―how gojo's known all this time, but more importantly, how there were reasons behind every single instance you thought he was out to ruin your life.
with intelligence far beyond his age, gojo has always preferred the company of adults more than children. at age 6, he would listen in on conversations his mother had with her friends, roughly comprehending complex worlds with the simple ones he understood. someone had mentioned something about their daughter being allergic to milk. and so, when your birthday came up and all he saw were milk treats, he gobbled them all up in an effort to make sure you wouldn't be subjected to an adverse reaction―even though you were far off from any dairy allergy.
what he was sure of, however, was that you were severely allergic to bees. and when he spotted one perched right on the buttercup stem geto handed you, he had no choice but to smack it right out of your hand and down to the ground, stepping on it too, for good measure.
and, okay, maybe he was a little naughty for tugging at your braids when you'd just spent all that time doing them, but he always liked how they flowed into waves when they unravelled; how you'd chase him afterwards, angry but so, so pretty.
if there's one moment gojo will consider real sabotage, though, it's that date he stopped you from going to. like there was any way he was going to let another man see you dressed like that. he isn't nice that way. when gojo wants something, he's not sharing, and the sight of you in white―that was meant to be his and only his.)
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tacagen · 5 months ago
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
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((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
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but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
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(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
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#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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sualne · 7 months ago
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was checking my emails before going to bed only to find out my endocrinologist casually scheduled an appointment at long fucking last
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augerer · 2 years ago
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I think there’s a remarkable way in which the isekai doomed villain aspects of my next life as a villainess and the bisexual harem aspects gel together to create a metaphor for queer childhood. to me the most interesting way to view katerina is as a girl who is convinced from a young age that people around her are eventually going to subject her to a fate beyond her control and she’s going to be cast out, and this colors her entire perception of the world around her.
it feels very gay experience (though ofc not universal) to be like i have to overcorrect for the fact that one day everyone is going to hate me and exile me for something i can't help through being so kind and helpful to them.  i have to heal everyone around me.  or i will DIE.  they will KILL ME. i need to make myself essential to the people around me because something is inherently wrong with me that only i know about.  and then of course she self-conceives what is in large part her earnest desire to help the people around her as like "i am masterminding a dastardly plan to change my fate"  (read: feelings of duplicity and monstrousness as a gay child).
i also think there’s a way in which her revelation of her past life’s memories could have given her an uncomfortable or even predatory power over the people around her but it does not.  instead she reads very much as a child but like a child with an adult's sense of responsibility for the other children around her (in a world with horrible real adults)?  + mildly related point on the game mechanics aspect, i also like how neatly katerina’s backstory solves for some of her oblivious and quirky tendencies.  like of course she doesn’t think her friends are in love with her, she’s worried about them killing her.
anyway, on katarina/maria: it’s also soooo interesting that everyone is in love with her by the time she meets maria and the possibility she is going to be the "villain" who "dies" is 0 but she just doesn't know it.  but she meets her and is like she is so beautiful and charming and cool, that's why i'm so sure to meet an evil fate. . it’s so on the nose for like, the evil anvil that is going to fall on me which is proof that i’m doomed. . . is how wonderful and captivating this other girl is!  because of course it is, the crux of the issue is gay childhood.  [astronaut meme] “wait it was all about gay feelings?” “always has been”
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primus-why · 9 days ago
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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bonefall · 8 months ago
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tall shadows line of "she was only a kittypet" kinda reminds me of the line "they were only slaves" from the prince of egypt.
What kills me about it is that like, at that point in the movie, the Pharoah Is Bad. Him saying that a billion babies where fed to crocodiles is A Bad Thing. It's the point where Moses realizes he can't be part of the royal family without being complicit.
But Tall Shadow says "calm down, Bumble was less than human anyway" and Gray Wing nods along (complete with the jiggly clicking noise that comes with shaking a can of spraypaint) and this is an example of them being reasonable. Level-headed, even, not getting swept away by the passion of the angry mob.
There are so many levels to how fucked up the Bumble Debacle is that you can't explore every floor all at once. It is an onion. It has layers.
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karokawwo · 17 days ago
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"it's not the immigrants he wants to get rid of, it's the illegals!" I hope you realize all immigrants are illegal to a xenophobe's eyes
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mummer · 1 month ago
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okay folks i need to get real with myself. how do i regain the nerve to start writing original fiction again and start tackling an extremely ambitious project that for now only exists as clouds in my head. Genuine opinions welcome
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wonder-worker · 8 months ago
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Here’s the thing I need people to understand:
Even if we believe that the (entirely unproven and far too politically convenient) pre-contract story between Edward IV and Eleanor Talbot was true, it doesn’t actually matter. Even if it was hypothetically true, there was still no reason why Edward V – who was already King at that point and was referred to as such – couldn’t have been able to succeed his father regardless.
David Horspool (Richard's own historian) summarizes it better than I could, so I’m just quoting him here:
"[Richard also made] no allowance for any potential solution to the problem that might have re-legitimized Edward V and his siblings. These included securing a retrospective canonical or papal judgement of the invalidity of the pre-contract; an Act of Parliament legitimizing the children of Edward and Elizabeth Woodville’s marriage, as happened to Henry VIII’s variously tainted offspring; or even ignoring the issue and proceeding to the coronation of Edward V, which would legitimize him by making him the Lord’s anointed, and render allegations of his bastardy as newer versions of the old tittle-tattle about his father."
In short, even if Edward IV truly had a pre-contract with Eleanor Talbot, and even if all of his children with Elizabeth Woodville were supposedly illegitimate, it should by no means prevent Edward V from succeeding his father to the throne. If Richard truly wanted to support his nephew, he had a variety of useful and entirely workeable options to choose from. Instead, he officially declared his nieces and nephews (including a literal 3-year-old) illegitimate, kept Edward V and his even younger brother confined in the Tower of London, and declared himself King.
Why didn't Richard take these actions, all of which he would have been well aware of? As Horspool says simply: "that Richard took none of these courses was because he had no interest in doing so."
The ONLY conclusion we can come to based on Richard's actions is summarized most succinctly by A.J Pollard:
"The truth of the matter is that Richard III did not want Edward V to be legitimate because he did not want him to be king."
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yellowocaballero · 4 months ago
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the way kakashi snuck up on Itachi and Obito makes me wonder if he was really gone before when Naruto and Sasuke reunited w Sakura... Lol
Who knows :eyeemoji:.
It felt important while writing Kakashi to underscore how terrifyingly competent he is. Obito's overpowered (not by, like, late stage Naruto standards, but by early Naruto standards he definitely is), but he demonstrates that by navigating the world like he's a video game player with cheat codes. He does whatever he wants with no consideration of if it's dangerous or not (save, obviously, if Tsunade's in front of him - and even then he notably wasn't actually afraid for his life). That's how we feel his strength as a reader. Kakashi very nonchalantly flips that by putting Obito off-balance and casually one-upping him in The Ninja Arts. Hoodwinking Obito a little makes Kakashi feel like a truly powerful character in a completely different way than Obito does.
It's fun! Writing Kakashi as a very powerful person first, I think, provides important context for all of his other character traits - lazy, easy-going, humorous, disconnected, passive, passively suicidal, fragile. I want the reader to be constantly questioning him and wondering what he's avoiding or diverting - so I'm glad that you were even wondering about that! Thanks for reading!
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astralhope · 12 days ago
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- I understand how you feel, Yuma... and I don't want you to accept it. -
Rank 55: Yuma Jets!!
#Did you hear that? That's the sound of my soul shattering because of them#Astral's sorrowful gaze and Yuma's hopeless reaction#It doesn't matter if Yuma won the duel#there's no way for Astral to avoid his fate#and Astral has already accepted that dreadful future that was reserved to him#because it is the only way he could protect Yuma's world and his world as well#He wants to protect their worlds even at the cost of his existence#The fact that Astral sees himself as something small to sacrifice destroys me#for him his life is nothing compared to the safety of their worlds#and Yuma understands why he has to do that but how can he accept it?#how can he accept that there is nothing he can do to save Astral? How can he stand and watch Astral sacrifice himself?#it's unfair it's awful but there's nothing that they can do#that end was decided from the beginning#and it is made more painful because Astral has learned how to live thanks to Yuma and Yuma has got more attached to Astral day after day#and now Yuma has to watch Astral meet his terrible fate and Astral has to accept it because there is no way to fight it#the only thing Astral can do is ask Yuma to not lose his spirit his Kattobingu#to not accept that hopeless feelings to not let that sadness take over his heart#I want to hug Astral I want to hug both of them and never let them go#Every sentence in this scene is carved in my mind#especially Astral's ones because he accepts what will happen to him but there is also so much sadness in his words#he deserves to be happy I want him to be happy#yugioh zexal#yuma tsukumo#astral zexal#astral yugioh#zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal manga#zexal manga spoiler
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago
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In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.
"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"
"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"
"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"
I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.
If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#sanism#sanism tw#ableism#ableism tw#since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE'#i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate#and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden#simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance#like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline#TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG#when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER#because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others?#do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that?#sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that.#but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people#those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic#videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate#she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences#i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time#i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites#heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit
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