#why couldnt it have been from mom
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nightvale359 · 5 hours ago
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Hate to admit it but I fear i did get the autism and adhd from my father
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bellamyblakru · 6 months ago
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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.
its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.
have passion in spite of those who hate.
#its absolutely mind boggling to me#and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset#i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b#its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without#hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats#something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like#‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent#opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like#this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i#was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without#prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u#happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk#ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole#:)))) im not crying bye#ashley rambles#to delete later#my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids#have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them#idk man
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iowafashionweekbegins · 4 months ago
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the way people talk about alzheimers and dementia on here as if it's some magical angsty whump trope is disgusting. unless you have watched it murder some of your closest loved ones and ravage your entire family then you have no right to be romanticizing it like that. you all make me SICK. I HATE YOU! I HATE ALZHEIMERS! IT IS TAKING MY GREAT AUNT JAN AWAY FROM ME, IT IS MURDERING HER, AND I JUST HAVE TO SIT BACK AND WATCH FANDOM BLOGGERS POST ABOUT HOW IT'S SO ANGSTY FOR THEIR STUPID SHIP TROPES. KEEP YOUR FILTH OUT OF THE TAGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR AWARENESS. i pray you never have to suffer through the slow death of your family and friends. you are lucky to have the privilege to be talking about it like it's just a plot device. i wish i could be as naive as you are. i wish my family was still whole. i wish i could have aunt jan back. i wish i could take her place. it's just not fair. it has never, ever, EVER been fair.
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skeletons-in-ur-closet · 9 months ago
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not to sound like a petulant child but my entire fuckin week is ruined and i wanna kms
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vampyrluver · 1 year ago
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I love my brothers so much i want to protect them all wasaaa
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mintedaisies · 1 year ago
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been desperately craving to go back to my bookworm days and, this time, delve into the world of monster romance novels
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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on a semi related note there r like 2 specific times i remember expecting one of my safe foods and getting something entirely different and being SO insanely upset abt it even though the thing i got still tasted good
#the first my uncle asked me what i wanted 4 dinner while he was staying with us#and i said cheesy chicken and rice my fav food and he Made cheesy chicken and rice but it was like. a completely different dish than what i#refer to as cheesy chicken and rice and it was good food but i was rly rly rly upset. and i feel bad bc again it was good and my uncles a#great cook but i was expecting my comfort food and got something different#the other big one was i always get the wisconsin six cheese from dominos. and if i dont get the wisconsin six cheese i get the beautiful an#delicious pizza me and my mom named greg . rly funny story actually. but greg is basically. hes got ranch instead of tomato sauce and then#chicken bacon (always at least these 2) and mushrooms if possible for toppings. and hes great#and one time my mom was ordering dominos and asked me what i wanted and i said the wisconsin 6 cheese yk. and it came and it had ranch sauc#and my mom was like oph yeah i thought itd be fun to try the ranch sauce since we like it on greg so i thought id surprise you. and i#literally couldnt eat the pizza and i started crying over it bc i had been rly excited for the 6 cheese#but yes. greg is my goto pizza everywhere except dominos on occasion if they dont let u do rnch as a sauce we do alfredo instead#hes very trustworthy and i love him... we got him umm. the first time we ordered him was when we were doing my sleep study#so we were like waiting outside the hospital and we were like oh we should order something 2 eat since we havent had dinner yet#and we went to order and 4 somereason we couldnt get the 6cheese idk if like one of th cheeses was out of stock or something ???#but we were like ok lets just make a new pizza lol. and we made him and then dominos was like Ok what do you want to name the pizza#and idk why i think it was late but that question was like. HYSTERICAL to us KJADBJWABD bc we were like what is it a baby#of course now i realize its so you can like. have that pizza saved to easily order it again yk. but we were like idk.. greg??? so yes. and#im ngl to you guys idk if it was just bc it had been a good day and i was happy and like kind of silly since i was at a hospital#but that was literally theeee best pizza ive ever had in my literal entire life. istg they put crack in that pizza it was soo good#sooo yes anyways sry 4 rambling.
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autism-corner · 28 days ago
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hm
#ok time to bitch and whine bc i wanna :3c#first off i want to say that i know all the nuances and i dont have it the worst and i think my mom is fine but. im also allowed to be upse#and i dont want to backpedal on that so i will try my best to not excuse behaviours with 'but also's. if i do fucking hit me with hammers#sillyposting#ok. early-mid 2021's. starting to get into the bad stuff for me.#im just getting aware of the autism and. other circumstances.#fine sure yesyesyes. i want to sit with my knee above the table bc its more comfy and i dont see a problem. my parents apparently do#i persist bc. there isnt a fucking problem and their points are stupid. i still think so and luckily theyve gotten over it now but.#anyway. alongside the rebelious action offf: wanting to sit comfortably!! i also sometimes have issues with sensory overload. SHOCKER.#especially then as i was getting worse in every aspect and. having actual physical symptoms because of it. my ticcing was bad during it#anyway. apparently having headphones on during dinner is also bad. most of the times i didnt want to cause more trouble so took them off.#akaaaa i was just forced to dissociate during almost every dinner instead of. having the 'privilege' to be normal.#the worst day with this was during fall break when my grandparent were also there.#i think it was just before the dam broke for me or maybe it was during but....#during dinner in an unknown vacationhouse with more people than i was used to and chairs that scraped the floors: i wanted to keep my headp#i didnt have music on. i was actively participating in conversation! i just needed a little less noise.#but it was for some reason too much to handle. and my parents werent grown up enough to let this slide.#taking care of myself was less important than upholding their useless ideals. ok.#i was denied dinner. because i needed something different than what they personally wanted.#so i went to my room and cried. 17 y/o. aside from everything else that was already happening inside me this still hits me the hardest#its the fact that. they didnt consider me at all. i still dont know why they were so upset over me doing something slightly different#the fact that they couldnt even properly explain why (because there wasnt a real reason) didnt help my view of them during that time.#anyway. im doing better now. i dont think theyre abusive anymore or have ever really been. *gets hit with hammers* ow okayyy#but. it has stuck with me. very much so.#so now when my mother keeps her headphones on during dinner bc of overstimulation. it hurts. it hurts so much.#you couldnt give me this during the beginning of the worst part of my life. but youll take it for your own now?#i wont say things bc ill get hit by hammers so. i get to be upset about this.#i do. i should be.#i want things to have gone differently. i want them to have understood it earlier. if not that; i want her to not take what i was denied.#I... *get hit with hammers*.... =3=
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cheswirls · 4 months ago
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ah i could not help myself. checked onk for a detail on the movie arc and ended up rereading the entire movie arc, then bit the bullet and read up to current. not as many chapters as i thought considering how long ago i was "caught up" and that onk is a weekly?? i guess there were breaks. almsot made me think it was a monthly series. with how little there was
tbh if i had waited til the end of the year that would have been perfect. it rly seems like there are not many chapters left. even where i left off tho, it was enough where again i wasn't dying to know what happened next, so i can wait for it to finish if it finishes this year :) maybe spoiler-y rant in tags for past 5-6 chapters
#idk if i have a read tag but will add later if so#i was rly checking for the kana/akane convo at the beach#that both fulfilled me and sucked my soul out of my body for the second time now#i am happy for kana but my poor yuri heart wanted akane to say smth in light to kana essentially saying 'you are my ideal type'#even if kana didn't reciprocate i think it would be amazing for akane's character#if she could acknowledge she may have feelings for kana or could reciprocate if kana actually felt that way#what i rly wanna say tho is the akane fake-out was so good#i already cant recall bc time blurs but when she shwoed up to the miyazaki concert i knew smth was up#bc the past few times shes been at a place has been bc of ulterior motives#but i cant place the timeline now and i dont wanna go at it again#akane said she couldnt make the tokyo concert but that she survived seeing kana perform#so i wonder if the attempted murder happens on the 2nd concert day?#but it made the b komachi performance seem like the gradn finale#like kamiki was watching live and the stabbing took place at the same time#but if ruby already left to rehearse and akane was there then it was miyazaki concert no??????#but then akane saw them oerform so....... day 2??????#also i rly loved the line about 'being born a twin' for a reason that was so gold#i skimmed a lot of the latter half that didnt half to do w the movie directly#but i do remember from the first time how aqua embraced being himself and not gorou and saw ruby as his sister#and was rly truly letting go of his past self to live life (prior to kana date chapter i think???)#and now this/// the current few chapters#really poetic also why i think theyre in miyazaki bc ti aqua#it would be poetic justice for him to die and be reborn and die again in the same (general) place#idk how hes gonna get outta this one but i'll wait and see in ful#also aaaaaa along w the twins line... him wanting to call miyako mom!!!#and ruby's face in that panel was cute#cant decide if it was surprise or joy or both?? but she's in the bg to show some reaction#i hope the end of the year is enough time to finish#if i get bored i might... take a shot at the kana/akane convo of my dreams
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fischiee · 6 months ago
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#i think there's something to be said about like #i think there's (or that there Was) this awful terrible messy part of her that wants to keep with the assumption that her father is right? #that all of the bullshit and danger and pain and paranoia and self loathing Meant something? that she was a part of some grand noble#purpose? like it isnt that she doesnt want york to be right so much as she doesnt want her father to be wrong? #(her however many years in hiding tho. how much of that was spent mulling over and accepting that her father used her. used all #of them? yeah it might have Started with trying to lend to the war effort and in a way avenge her mother and the life she never got to have #but eventually it all came back to allison. worst wifeguy in the entire universe #theres probably some part of her that wishes he'd Told her what was happening? trusted her and respected her enough to let her in on the #schemes? - lmao the resentment and bitterness ans sense of Betrayal when the director is Clearly more interested in tex #also that like???? york is siding with tex! gut punch betrayal: the sequel #did anyone fucking look for her after the got tossed off the cliff?? #or was it just. out of sight out of mind the moment it became clear eta and iota were already gone? #(theres also the whole. washington in s6 i think and his whole 'they need to pay for what they did to me. and to my friends' vs like #epsilon (and kinda by extension lina) and the whole 'we trusted him and he lied to us. and used us. and manipulated us. for What. this #shadow???' like!!! #this is so tangential lmao. but i really do think that york understood like. it was never about him and tex? their betrayal wasnt the one #that was making her stay? the 'i get why she did what she did. i just wish she hadnt' or whatever #ololo. anyways #rvb nonsense [via @favvnsongs]
FAVVN DON'T DO THIS TOO ME
something that really gets me is that we see so much of york being wholeheartedly dedicated to carolina
we see him staying up late to watch over her, following her orders to a tee, not leaving her side when she’s in a coma, coming back for her and rooting for her even when she loses
AND YET his choice ISNT to stay with her!! he’s such an interesting character bc from that choice alone - to not only turn against her but ask her to change her ways - we see how he truly believed in carolina and believes that she is good. we see so little of him outside of the context of carolina and yet we know so much about him from actions like this!! york wants to be good and to do right, and he will make sacrifices for that, even if the bridges he has to burn in order to do so haunt him forever
#you.. you get me this is too much#bc im of the side that she does trust york so much that she probably even knew that he was right to a degree#but she just couldnt let go of the mission she was raised for and the belief that her father still had the potential for good#but seeing tex get all the preference she always wanted (both from york and the director) just ruined her chances#of being able to make the correct responsible decision#because SO much of it was about tex and her father and being the best and not losing and if her father was wrong and bad#and if tex was on the right side then it meant that she spent her whole life in the wrong#rallying behind people who were only leading her astray#the realization that every moment in her life that she thought was leading up to her ending the war like her mother never could#was actually her just fulfilling a fucked up intention of bringing her mom back in the worst way possible (which she never even wanted)#and OH GOD dont get me started on no one looking for her!!!#like the fact that the only evidence we have of ANYONE looking for her EVER after being thrown off a cliff was york makes me want to scream#him scouring through hacked pfl documents just on the hope that she might have survived#thinking that even of she didn't go back for him she might go back to/for the director#(and he was right!!!!!)#and absolutely to york this was never even about tex OR carolina it was about doing the right thing#which is why hes so sad that carolina never joined him it's because he knew she had such potential to be good is she hadn't been so stubbor#“i just wish she hadn't” and “you can trust me” “maybe. but you can't trust me” have me in AGONY they-#im in painnnnnnn#rvb
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parme-san · 1 year ago
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my back hurts so much fr good god
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allforlovessake · 1 year ago
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fuck . i miss my dad
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xo8ball · 1 year ago
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hey tumblr quick question what are the consequences long term to depression at a young (pre pubescent) age. like how does the teen/adult act or show certain symptoms.
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starlightkun · 2 years ago
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🎶🛌
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deanscherrypie69 · 4 months ago
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Girl dad Logan🩷
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Pairings; Logan Howlett x F!malereader Warnings; fluff, just logan and his girls!
A/n, I’m gonna try to turn this into a series. So lmk if yall enjoy this ! Cause I loved writing it!!!
🩷🩷🩷
You don’t t know what time you’d woken up, but you reach out to feel the side of the bed where your husband had laid. But it was cold.
Opening your eyes, you see that the covers had been thrown back. Huffing you throw the blankets off your body. You sit at the side of the bed and run a hand down your face. To wake yourself up.
“Logan?” You say with a raspy voice.
When he doesn’t answer back you manage to get up from the bed.
“Okay come on girl.” You say rubbing your swollen belly. You’d been pregnant for almost seven months. It was your second baby. A girl.
Logan was over the moon. He couldn’t wait to have another girl.
Your first daughter ivy was attached to Logan’s hip since the day she was born.
They did everything together.
It was adorable. It was Logan who insisted on having another baby. You couldnt say no. You were right there with him. You wanted to expand the family.
“Lo?” You hum as you reach the living room. There was no one in there.
Your head whips over to the sound of a shrieking laugh.
Furrowing your eyebrows you make your way over to ivy’s room.
The door had been open a crack. Through the crack you see Logan sitting as ivy’s tea table. With a tiara on.
“Here you go daddy.” Ivy says giving Logan a plastic tea cup.
“Thanks bub.” Logan took the plastic cup. You watched as he bought it up to his mouth and took a sip.
You couldn’t help but awe at the moment that was unfolding right in front of you.
Without saying a word you fully open the door.
Logan lifted his head up and smiled when he saw you.
His smile was big. He was glad to see you.
“Mommy!” Ivy shrieks and grabs your leg.
“Good morning!” You say ruffling her long brown hair.
Logan clears his throat. Causing your gaze to be on him.
“It’s actually the afternoon.”
You gasp and look at ivy’s clock that had been sitting. On her dresser. “Why didn’t you wake me? Did she eat did you give her a bat-“
“She’s fine-“ Logan cuts you off with a chuckle. “I figured I just let me two girls sleep. How is she doing today anyways.”
Ivy gives your leg one more squeeze, then goes back to her tea set.
“Come here.” Logan reaches out his hands of you to take.
You stand in front of him. He’d still been sitting down. He puts his hands into your belly.
“How’s my beautiful girl.” He kisses your belly. It’d been covered by his t-shirt. You’d used them as nightgowns.
Logan looks up at you.
“How are you?” He hums rubbing a hand over your belly.
“M’kay just tired.” You say with a big yawn.
“That’s why I let you sleep, I figured you needed it. And plus she woke me up at 9:30 this morning wanting to play princess tea party.”
He motions to ivy, who was feeling her stuffed bear a cookie.
You chuckle. You bring your hand down tj his hair and run your fingers through it. “You’re a great dad Logan.”
You hum. You feel tears begin to spill from your eyes.
When Logan notices he quickly gets up. “Hey, hey don’t cry.” He hums flicking the tears away.
“She’s lucky to have you.”
Logan pulls you into a hug, his chin resting on your head. "And she's lucky to have you, you're a great mom." Logan places a kiss onto your forehead.
He wipes the tears off your face. "I love you."
"I love you more." You hum.
"Mommy!" Ivy squeaks, "Play princess tea party with me and daddy!" She was jumping up and down with excitement.
"Okay okay." You giggle pulling away from logan.
Logan couldn't help but take in the sight that unfolded in front of him, he was happy. And he wanted it to stay like this forever.
Just Logan and his girls.
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ew-selfish-art · 2 years ago
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Dp x dc AU where Dick adopts teenage Danny into his family with Kor’i and Mar’i
Mar’i had always wanted a sibling, all seven years of her life in fact!! Toys and play times with friends couldnt possibly compare to having a brother or a sister, and she knew this as a fact from some of her school mates.
So when her dad brings home a kid that was all cut up and bruised, and her mom patches him up because something about his “biology” was weird- Mar’i sees this as an opportunity in the making!
Danny is healing up slowly but surely in Nightwings house, and he feels like a total intrusion. He’s now seen their faces and it feels like so much trust has been placed in him with no way for him to repay it. So he’s moping a bit, hanging in his room reading a book based on his video game series when a small child walks in, her arms filled with board games and toys.
“Hello, will you be my big brother?” Is all she asks him with a straight face, her eyes incredibly serious for someone so small.
“Er, im just here until-“
“Want to play a game?” Mar’i changes the subject favoring a specific board game in her hands. Rule number one of negotiation is to never let them say no- her uncle Damian taught her that.
“…yeah, sure.” Danny accepts because honestly? He could at least repay Nightwing and Starfire by babysitting right? They play a few games and then dinner gets brought in and for once, Danny feels like he’s having a normal family meal.
Next time she comes into his room, he’s focused on healing one of his larger wounds from the power in his core- he’s floating and his eyes are green. Mar’i is ECSTATIC. He fits in PERFECTLY.
“WILL YOU PLEASE BE MY BIG BROTHER?!?” Mar’i persistently asks every single day. Danny laughs and smiles and pats her head.
Once he’s feeling better, he starts patrolling with Nightwing, just to pay him back. Not that he’s having fun bashing goons and getting solid hero advice for the first time in his life.
Then he goes to Tameran with Kor’i for a diplomatic mission (his royal ambdassadorship/ king titles tbd) to discuss the Infinite Realms and why they absolutely need to abandon their attempts to use ghost artifacts. Kor’i explains how proud she is of him as they fly home.
He gets invited to all their family outings now, and he is overwhelmed by how accepted he is. How much the Bats all seem to leave him space for boundaries but invite him to do things very much to his interests (they are detectives after all). Once its safe, Jazz comes every now and then from her Ivy League college to hang out with them all and spend time with Danny. She gives him the advice he needed to hear about accepting good things into his life and deserving happiness.
One day Mar’i has a bad day at school, and when Danny gets home from his own community college classes- he brings her into a big hug, makes her a cup of tea from her mom’s home planet and once she’s comforted and happy again he says “hey, what are big brothers for?”
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