#because SO much of it was about tex and her father and being the best and not losing and if her father was wrong and bad

[fischiee]

#i think there's something to be said about like #i think there's (or that there Was) this awful terrible messy part of her that wants to keep with the assumption that her father is right? #that all of the bullshit and danger and pain and paranoia and self loathing Meant something? that she was a part of some grand noble#purpose? like it isnt that she doesnt want york to be right so much as she doesnt want her father to be wrong? #(her however many years in hiding tho. how much of that was spent mulling over and accepting that her father used her. used all #of them? yeah it might have Started with trying to lend to the war effort and in a way avenge her mother and the life she never got to have #but eventually it all came back to allison. worst wifeguy in the entire universe #theres probably some part of her that wishes he'd Told her what was happening? trusted her and respected her enough to let her in on the #schemes? - lmao the resentment and bitterness ans sense of Betrayal when the director is Clearly more interested in tex #also that like???? york is siding with tex! gut punch betrayal: the sequel #did anyone fucking look for her after the got tossed off the cliff?? #or was it just. out of sight out of mind the moment it became clear eta and iota were already gone? #(theres also the whole. washington in s6 i think and his whole 'they need to pay for what they did to me. and to my friends' vs like #epsilon (and kinda by extension lina) and the whole 'we trusted him and he lied to us. and used us. and manipulated us. for What. this #shadow???' like!!! #this is so tangential lmao. but i really do think that york understood like. it was never about him and tex? their betrayal wasnt the one #that was making her stay? the 'i get why she did what she did. i just wish she hadnt' or whatever #ololo. anyways #rvb nonsense [via @favvnsongs]

FAVVN DON'T DO THIS TOO ME

something that really gets me is that we see so much of york being wholeheartedly dedicated to carolina

we see him staying up late to watch over her, following her orders to a tee, not leaving her side when she’s in a coma, coming back for her and rooting for her even when she loses

AND YET his choice ISNT to stay with her!! he’s such an interesting character bc from that choice alone - to not only turn against her but ask her to change her ways - we see how he truly believed in carolina and believes that she is good. we see so little of him outside of the context of carolina and yet we know so much about him from actions like this!! york wants to be good and to do right, and he will make sacrifices for that, even if the bridges he has to burn in order to do so haunt him forever

[archivedblog16]

Sorry for potentially causing a fight between anons, but... to the person defending Loona, some of the brought up points aren't really... accurate. (If it's the 'serious ask')

"Excuse me loona never beat up her dad up like where did you get that info at?" While I don't recall her actively *repeatedly* beating Blitzø up, she does strike him, such as in Seeing Stars when he's crying and running up to her, just for her to kick him in the balls... after she told Octavia to give HER own father 'a chance' because 'he's trying'. I may not have balls, but that's something that clearly fucking hurts, and it's not really something you should do unless you're defending yourself or something. (Though I will admit, whenever someone hurts their balls, I occasionally spit out a laugh, but the point stands- you don't fucking kick your father in the balls when he's crying and apologizing for what he said.)

"She's kind to everyone!" Uh, no, not really. For the most part, she's either on her phone, ignoring others, or she's insulting them (if she doesn't physically attack them), which is fine for a character... but she definitely WASN'T kind. If you think someone constantly belittling others is a kind person, that's not a good thing at all. Tex is probably the nicest she was during early S1 tbh.

"The fat jokes are the funniest." Oh yeah, it's so hilarious watching her (and other characters) repeatedly tell Moxxie, who isn't fat, that he's a fatass to the point there's implications he's dieting himself too much (early S2, or whenever he mentions he's proud of losing either 2 or 5 pounds in a week... that is not healthy, even if you're a supernatural creature). Yay, i love fat jokes :) /sarcasm

"Sure loona ate a lot but she still says in shape unlike moxxie who gets fat on ice cream." Literally irrelevant to proving Loona is a good character and person, and such a strange comment. Like okay...?

If I talk about the Stolas shit, it'd need its own yapping session or whatever. But Loona definitely WASN'T a good person, and that's okay! The main issue is her development wasn't fleshed out, and she didn't get the time she should've to go from an asshole to actively calling Blitzø her dad and being kind. It's fine to love this show, and it's great to love whatever (within limits ofc,) but it's really good to acknowledge media you love and enjoy aren't always good. There's flaws because we're human. I will kind of agree that 'writing a royalty is hard' when you don't know what it's like, but that's why you need to do proper research, understand what's best for the story and worse, and write the best story you can with the intended message.

Sorry for this long post, I just wanted to get something off my chest about the ask.

You good Anon, don’t worry. I’ll let this post speak for itself. Here’s the context for anyone confused:

Yes, the anonymous person who wrote this is serious. It’s not a copypasta or ragebait.

[riflemansfrequency]

I think a lot about the fact that all of the female freelancers, not just Tex were designed to fail in one way or another. For Connie, she was told she would never meet the skills of her colleagues, which put her in such a position where she was doomed to snap, and a position she was doomed to be hunted down loosing it. Carolina was taunted with the brink of failure, her whole life she believed what was perfect was being at the top of it, this was only really fueled by the Director. While not directly ever said we can assume this was the only way Carolina could see herself close to her father. Then it was just taken away from her where failures piled up on her and up on her causing her to become obsessed with someone she can literally never beat. South was the control variant of an experiment, South was forced to snap constantly and was punished for doing so. She was constantly taunted like a dog. Even Ohio, all she’s ever known was failure, she and the triplets tried and tried to make themselves known for being more then bottom of the barrel freelancers, but never succeeded until they were just left for dead

Project freelancer egged all of them on so much to the point where they can only be known as their worst qualities and the writers did an excellent job at this because most of the fandom thinks of them similarly. All of their worst qualities were just fueled and fueled to the point where during the freelancer arc, you can forget their good qualities. I think South’s the best example, because so many people can’t see her as more then a backstabbing short tempered bitch, rather than a highly skilled, well organized, timed and motivated killer, who can fucking hide amongst pipes and wipe out guards without a sound, while sometimes over her head can and will defend herself. Or Carolina, became selfish with obsession, to the point where she’d betray her partner and friends, in favor of pursuing her idea of success, because in the program, there wasn’t another way

I’m in no way a South apologist, but honestly, I feel like all the female freelancers, all had such strong themes of failure in their lives, some were able to overcome it and become so great and badass, some accepted it and became happy, and some were killed for it

[starrclown]

How'd you rank each HB episode from worst to best and why?

Ooooooo! Hi Mutal!! Here's my list!!:

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Pilot (No I don't care it's not canon): 7/10

Why: This episode is nice. It's a introduction to I.M.P, the kid is a asshole and it's funny. The only thing I don't like is that the baby in the stroller died. :(

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 1 Season 1: 10/10

Why: Genuinely this is my favorite episode. I can and will make a whole other rant about this episode. I love the dynamics everyone has. The joke make me laugh, I love the antagonist and the family. (I love the family so much.) The only thing I don't like is Stolas. I know he can hear Blitzø getting shot at because when Martha says she can hear Blitzø and Blitzø curses, Stolas says "Annnyyywayy." Go back and check. Genuinely love this episode. So much.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 2 Season 1: 5/10

Why: Stolas is a horrible father. Octavia is cool though. ALSO STOLAS MAKES BLITZØ UNCOMFORTABLE AND NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING. I hate that owl man. But that episode introduced me to Stella so it's fine.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 3 Season 1: 7/10

Why: Verosika was cool. Tex was cool. I liked this episode!

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 4 Season 1: 8/10

Why: Most people don't like this Episode but I like it! It has issues but it's what this show should have been. I.M.P fucking around in the human world.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 5 Season 1: 9/10

Why: This Episode proves that Striker and Blitzø are a better couple than Stolas and Blitzø. As a Southern Belle myself I liked them in the country. (I hate being from the south, it's complicated.) Only think I didn't like is that this is Moxxie Episode and not a Millie one. ALSO STRIKER WAS A BETTER VILLIAN IN THIS THAN ANY OTHER EPISODE!! Striker also makes some good points.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 6 Season 1: 4/10

Why: OH WOW! BLITZØ, WHO IS LITTERALY AT STOLAS'S MERCY IS AGAIN UNDER STOLAS'S MERCY!! IT IS SHOWN THROUGH THE CHAINS! WOW!! 🤯💥 (This episode isn't exactly bad but Blitzø is being abused, plain and simple.)

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 7 Season 1: 8/10

Why: Loved how they called out Stolitz and I liked how Ozzie ans Fizz are jerks. It was great. Miss that so much. House of Ausmoedus slaps.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 8 Season 1: 6/10

Why: Don't like Beelzabubs design but I like her personality. Loona and Blitzø had a soft moment. It was fine.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 1 Season 2: 0/10

Why: Hate this episode. Hate how they met as kids. Hate how we don't see little Barbie. Hate how they treated Stella. Hate how they mad Blitzø the abusive one. Hate how they wussified Stolas. Hate hate hate this episode.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 2 Season 2: 3/10

Why: Octavia got sidelined. The pacing was off. M&M didn't need to be there. Lonna's spech is awful. Blitzø's wasn't in the room.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 3 Season 2: 5/10

Why: It was fine. Crimson was fine I guess. Moxxie's mom I think is one of my favorite characters ever. Crimson should have died. Chaz was annoying as fuck. Hate how they sidelined Millie tho. Love Blitzø but he didn't need to be there.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 4 Season 2: 2/10

Why: This episode is messy and Striker is such a weakling in this. I also hate how Andrelphus and Stella are. It's icky.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 5 Season 2: 0/10

Why: Don't act surprised.

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 6 Season 2: 4/10

Why: I am not a BlitzFizz shipper. I actively hate the ship. Their brothers in my rewrite because I feel like it fits their dynamic more. This episode was average. Hate how the circus burned down because of a cake. Also hate how they pinned that on Blitzø. He knocked over a cake. Really?

☆★☆★

Helluva Boss Episode 7 Season 2: 5/10

Why: I was bored. FIZZAROLIE BECAME SUCH A LITTLE BITCH!! I HATE HOW THEY WUSSIFIED HIM!! Mammon was just boring. Wasn't my favorite.

Sorry if this seems scattered. I didn't wanna yap to much incase Tumblr had a word count.

Thanks for the question!!

(This is fun!!)

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[january-summers]

No one look at me right now. I started thinking about how the new season is going to undo one of the most defining qualities of Epsilon as an individual if that really was Tex in the trailer. Because of all the iterations of Leonard Church - Director, Alpha, Epsilon – Epsilon was the only one who managed to Let Go of Allison, to stop chasing her ghost, to be able to grow past that grief.

And then I started thinking about the fact that Epsilon is different from the two other Churches because of that, but why?

Because it was just the point in the narrative for him to get over her?

Or because as much of an impact as Epsilon left on Washington, Washington left his own impact on the AI. Washington, who was pretty social before Epsilon, who shows an emotional growth and maturity as the seasons progress, who encourages Carolina to find a balance between moving on and forgetting completely when it comes to her grief over her own lost love, York, left even the barest hint of a road map for Epsilon to have personal growth outside of his predefined Churchness.

Or because Epsilon was Alpha once, and he was reconstructed in Alpha's image, but not Alpha's image of himself. Epsilon is reconstructed in Caboose's image of Alpha. Caboose, who saw the best in Alpha and eventually learned himself how to let Church go, who, when faced with the option of saying goodbye or saving Church, chose to say goodbye even though it hurt him so much because he understood he couldn't erase what had happened even if he brought Church back.

And I feel like it matters that even though Epsilon didn't originally 'remember' Tucker, it was his mental image of Tucker who called him out on how shitty and stalkery the 'follow her down through the layers' thing was. And not just because 'Tucker's the snarky judgemental one.'

And I do enjoy the 'do we have to call them canon?' later seasons, because they continued this theme of closure and grief with (Caboose and) Carolina, except like Epsilon, she managed to confront her grief and move on. She might still love York, but she's not going to chase his ghost to the detriment of others, and she might feel like she's failed in her duty to Wash by letting him walk into that bullet, but they're going to get through it all together. She faced the thing her father did, and she did better.

I just.

Carolina said herself “Dad died when Mum did.” And yeah the Director lost himself to grief when Allison died.

Alpha was within the Meta, with Beta, when the EMP went off killing all the AIs in the Meta's head.

Epsilon managed to start healing from that bullshit.

Like, I'm pretty sure he reabsorbed the Epsi-Tex (Texsilon?) fragment he made when he did that, and that's where she went, but dude. Please. He was moving on, he had reached Acceptance.

Epsilon, who's entire identity is based on being someone else's memories, broke free from that in built script.

When Epsilon died, it wasn't chasing someone he had lost, or fixing the mistakes of his past, it was to save the people he had.

Don't get me wrong, I adore Tex, and I would love for Alpha|Church and Beta|Tex to have a happily ever after (they are way too dysfunctional for it to be considered healthy by normal standards but let them do them it's more entertaining that way) and I'm happy Epsilon's not dead anymore, but just let me lie here for a while having feels over the reasons why Epsilon|Church could do what Director and Alpha couldn't.

[somelosercritiques]

Helluva boss episode eight review‼️‼️

(I skipped seven because I decided I want to start with episodes I haven't watched yet)

The positive stuff

The voice acting was amazing if there's one that they'll get right it's everything that has to do with the voice work

There were actually some funny parts in the episode

Vortex is literally like one of four genuinely good characters in this entire franchise he just seems like a dude that would actually be cool to hang with

Finally, 40% of that song bee sung was good and the visuals were amazing

The negative stuff

Dear God where do I start with this one tbh 😭

Ok so I'll get one thing that confuses me about this entire world out of the way. This is less of a criticism or nitpick but more of a genuine question.

How the hell(lol) does time work in hell? Is there like a day night cycle? Are there hell timezones?? Is there a hell sun and moon??? How does time work in different rings???? Why do I keep increasing the question marks with each question I ask?????

But in all seriousness I just realized that there's time in hell so that's kinda weird to me

Ok now time for the actual critiques

I'll start with that God awful cotton candy song. Now to be honest I've never really liked Kesha. I don't hate her but she won't be on any of my playlists. I think she didn't technically sing the song but it's a Kesha song. Remember how I said I liked 40% of the song? Well that's because the chorus literally ruins the other 60%. It's so shitty and repetitive. Like saying two words over and over again is cocomelon levels of songwriting. Normally the chorus is the best part of a song but nope not here 💀

Bee as a character is very confusing in my opinion. Like when blitz was drinking himself to death why did she look sad?? She is the literal embodiment of gluttony. Like this part is genuinely annoying me the most why does she even care that he's getting black out drunk at a literal party? Is that not the point of those? And he has someone that could take him back home if needed so she should be even less worried. In my opinion it would've made more sense for tex to be the only one who cared about him.

Another thing that kind of annoys me is how much of an asshole loona is being for no reason. Bee showed her nothing but kindness and even was worried about her father but then she starts getting defensive for no reason?? Like girl you do realize you're lowkey picking a fight with a SIN.

Oh yeah and that girl that was bothering loona in the beginning of the episode was pretty much the average vivziepop female character. Bitchy and sassy for no reason and also did we mention she's skinny and white coded.

Luckily the last part of the episode was the funniest. When blitz starts breaking down on the couch I'm pretty sure everyone reading this had the exact same reaction as me LOL

Final thoughts

In all this episode was a waste of time and a strange diversion from the previous episode. The fact that this is a season finale is an insult to not only the fans but also all the episodes that came before it. This is more like an extra that should've been a short (like five minutes long). It would've worked much better. Or how about a better idea? Continue the plotline started last episode. This episode was a horrible way to introduce one of the most important figures in hell. 😭

Tbh I'm kinda dreading the next episode because I heard it was horrible and when the show started to decline but that's for tomorrows me to deal with

[weirdestbooks]

Secret States Chapter 3

Weird Siblings (Wattpad | Ao3)

Table of Contents | Prev | Next

District of Columbia was trying her best to keep her temper under control. She hated the Confederacy with a burning passion. 

She was doing her best to keep an eye on him as he chatted with the South, barring a few, such as Tennessee, who hadn’t liked spending time with him since she had gotten close to Scott; West Virginia and the border states, for obvious reasons; and, much to everyone’s surprise, Texas.

Georgia, who had been watching District of Columbia out of the corner of her eye for the better part of the morning, sighed and walked over, a small smile on her face. 

“He’s not going to hurt us,” Georgia said. District of Columbia scoffed. 

“He had replacements for Arizona, Missouri, and Kentucky, and neither of them like him,” she pointed out. Georgia sighed, placing a gentle hand on District of Columbia’s shoulder.

“He won’t hurt them either. I promise. No one would have invited him in if he was.” Georgia said, her voice gentle and calming. District of Columbia leaned into her sister’s side, trying to take comfort while the anxiety in her stomach bubbled to an overwhelming amount.

“You can’t be sure of that. Not everyone here is the best judge of character,” District of Columbia said.

“That don’t mean you are,” Georgia responded. District of Columbia sighed.

“I know. And I know it’s wrong to be so hostile when he’s saved Father’s life, and he’s Bama’s only son, and it does seem like he wants to make up for what happened, but…Georgie, you weren’t there to see what the war did to Father. So long as he’s around, we ain’t gonna heal from it,” District of Columbia said, her tone serious. Georgia sighed.

“You get like this every time he’s here, and every time it’s fine. I know you’re trying to look after us, but we can do that ourselves,” Georgia said. District of Columbia frowned, glancing back at the dead man walking before huffing and turning away. 

District of Columbia knew she wasn’t the only one with her beliefs, even if she, alongside West Virginia, were the most vocal about it.

Most of the states really didn’t know what to think about it all, and those who hadn’t been around for the war elected that it was best to stay out of it. 

However, before she could leave, her brother’s voice called out to her.

“Hey Dee!” Alabama asked, approaching District of Columbia, “Fed’sss looking for Tex. You ssseen him?”

“Last time I saw him, he was in the kitchen, but that was last week,” District of Columbia said. “He’s probably in his state. Try calling him.”

“We have! He ain’t answerin’. Fed thinksss Tex is about to do sssomethin’ dangerous. Or ssstupid. Or both.” Alabama said. District of Columbia groaned. Why couldn’t this house have a moment of peace?

And why did the Confederacy have to be involved?

Just then, District of Columbia’s phone went off, and she pulled it out of her pocket.

Nate: Liberia is up to something.

Nate: Any ideas what he would do?

District of Columbia's eyes widened. Texas was gone, which wasn’t exactly uncommon, but Texas always stuck around when the Confederacy was here, still clinging to some begone notion by being around the man.

And Texas always answered his phone because like anyone who was even slightly involved in politics, he was constantly on to ensure he knew what was happening.

And now NATO said Liberia was acting like he was up to something. Which made District of Columbia think Texas had something to do with it. Maybe that’s why Texas wasn’t answering his phone, wasn’t here at their house, was somewhere else getting up to God knows what.

That did little to explain what he was getting up to, but District of Columbia knew there was only one thing that Liberia could be up to that would involve Texas.

Revealing her and the rest of her siblings to the world.

Liberia had been asking Father, along with the states who had no intention of ever being anything but a secret, if he could tell the countries who didn’t know about the states for the past decade.

Which included Britain. 

And District of Columbia knew she and several other people wanted that man to live in his blind ignorance of their existence because she knew him. She knew he would try to get involved in their lives when most of them wanted nothing more than for him to be out of them.

Hopefully, Texas wasn’t doing what District of Columbia thought he was doing, but if he was, she was going to kick his ass.

“Alabama, Nate thinks our lovely brother Liberia is up to something,” District of Columbia said, her tone sickeningly sweet but still deadly, a skill she had picked up from their father. Alabama took a step back, fear flicking in his eyes at her tone.

“I don’t know what he’sss up to, promissse! He hasss nothing to do with me or Fed,” he said, the hiss in his voice getting stronger with his panic. 

“I know, Bama,” District of Columbia responded, causing her brother to relax some.

“Then what do you think Liberia isss up to?” Alabama asked.

“Well, Liberia has always wanted to inform any uninformed countries of our existence instead of letting them find out on their own, and Texas is normally so very prudent at answering his know, and yet now he does not?” District of Columbia said, watching Alabama’s eyes widen as he put it together before they flickered over to his son.

“Do we know for sssure?” he asked. District of Columbia shook her head. 

“Not yet, but I am sure we will find out soon. I know…I know you might think this is my vendetta speaking, but could you get the Confederacy out of here? I have a feeling this meeting will be ending early, and if I’m right, Father is going to be stressed beyond what’s good for him,” District of Columbia said. Alabama nodded.

“I’ll take care of him. Let me know what happened,” Alabama said before rushing to his son’s side.

District of Columbia watched him go, her unease growing.

She hoped she was wrong.

She really hoped she was.

[twicethetrouble]

Late night realization:

Didn’t Simmons work with Tex at MOI? He was clean up with her. Have they ever talked? There’s so much potential there!

Ref: Runaway freelancer Simmons AU

Also how much better does Simmons thinks Sarge is as a father figure? Leaps and Bounds better?

How vague was Carolina when she gave Grif the shovel talk?

Oh god, Wash stumbling across the helmet Simmons wore at MOI and yeeting it at his head and demanding where got it (fearfully).

Something like that. Omg Simmons, Wash, and Carolina teaming up or doing some secretive shady skulking around when they aren’t actually up to anything.

Or wash gets a random nightmare about the demolition expert one night after seeing Simmons face.

Him getting fatherly for some reason because of Epsilon’s memories. Like a pat on the shoulder and the urge to threaten Grif. That’d probably be too silly to be real though.

….Grif getting jealous Simmons is hanging out with Wash and Carolina and not telling him what they’re doing or talking about.

Well they are married so there’s no way it’s anything that’d take his husband a way from him. He’s not even into Simmons like that so it doesn’t matter either way. Why does Simmons laughing and smiling with other people make him angry? Nah, can’t be him. Can’t be….. He needs a cigarette.

“Where did you even get that? I thought you ran out of cigarettes?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me what you’re doing with those blues?”

“They’re not blues, Grif! They’re freelancers, empathize on free.”

“Just like I’m free not to tell you where I got these.”

“So there’s more than one?”

“What does that matter?”

“…”

“…”

Simmons and Grif then wrestled for the cigarette pack he’s hidden on his body. Carolina walks in. They stop.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“….Get…. THE FXCK OFF HIM!”

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“Protect me lamp!”

-Yeah! Simmons did work with Tex on occasion, mostly for, as you said, clean up/demolition work. I don't think they talked much while he was on the MOI, at least not outside the mission. I think they both recognized each other in Blood Gulch, but kinda pretended they didn't. Simmons b/c he didn't want to bring attention to himself, while Tex was like "oh, That's South Carolina. Is he trying to be covert?... I'll let him think he's being covert. I have bigger issues than a run away demolition tech."

-As for sarge, Simmons probably thinks he's like the best father figure ever lol. (then again, the only thing he has to compare to is the Director, who was very much a dick to him, so even a half-crazy old man obsessed with war is loads better than that.)

-Carolina probably wasn't very vague about her shovel talk lol. She's not exactly the subtlest when it comes to, well, anything. She probably gave him a very detailed list of what she'd do to him if he so much as thought of hurting her brother. One that would have Grif terrified of even looking the dude's way for the next week lol.

-That would be hilarious! Unfortunately Simmons blew up his old armor as a sort of 'resignation letter' when he left the MOI. So not entirely possible.

-But wash being vaguely reminded of Demolition Tech whenever he's around simmons would be funny. Like he's just sitting there half-panicking like ''Why does this guy remind me of the demoition tech. is it because he knows a lot about explosives and once mocked me for needing to use c4 to blow up a suit of armor? I know he somehow knows how to explode armor with just an alarm clock but that doesn't match Demolition Tech's skillset. Does it???" He finds out later that Simmons and Demolition Tech are the same and he's just like "That's why?! I wasn't going crazy!" lol : )

and lol!! : ) Poor Grif cannot catch a break with Carolina around. He just wants to hang out with his husband and it is not working out at all lol.

Thank you!

[akirathedramaqueen]

Wow, this is a comprehensive analysis. Lots of wonderful observations. I adore your ability to pick up so many things in this show.

For instance, I've never connected the starting scene in the IMP office in the 'Seeing Stars' episode with Blitzø promising to never replace Loona no matter what in the end. 🤔 And his breakdown in the TV studio a bit earlier makes so much more sense now, damn. It all ties to his little pushback he allowed himself after she acted horribly to his clients and hurt his business for literal months. And it still had such a big effect on him. It just . . . fuck, it all clicked to me.

Also, Blitzø not being able to comprehend what does unconditional truly mean. What he probably meant is unlimited, at least I suspect so—but indeed, the only type of relationship he can understand is some kind of exchange being behind that. To be useful. Not to tag along for one date. To give his body for one night. I mean, look at all his connections. He pays M&M's, his, as we found out, best friends. He cares for Loona, his own fucking daughter, and you think this is how it's supposed to be, but well . . . as stated earlier, he doesn't feel safe being stern in any way. He allowed to push himself around because he thinks that the moment he stops being useful to her, she leaves. And he'd rather be diminished and humiliated in front of Tex than stand his ground.

I do think though that 'self-forgiving journey' is a bit of a stretch when it comes to self-hatred issues. We see that Cash conditioned him to believe he's only worth as much as he can provide. We see him showing that quality throughout all his relationships.

And the problem is . . . this is an integral part of him now. You can only do so much to help it. I doubt there will be a day when Blitzø will wake up and, quote-unquote, forgive himself. It goes way back: before the fire, before the events of 'The Circus,' even before his conscious self started collecting memories. It goes all the way back to his father, who never valued him for what he was. And this is not something you can scorch out of yourself, however much you try. This is the background noise of your mind, infested, part of your self-image.

But what he truly needs is to not let this part of himself, ever-doubting, self-demeaning, self-sabotaging self rule his life. He should not build his decision-making process around his worst vision of himself. And I do believe he can grow past the point where he's just acting on his sheer fear of intimacy, of being hurt again. But it's not going to be a cure to his self-hatred. This is important to understand.

Also, he needs a stable support system—which he thankfully sort of has, as we were shown with Millie, but the issue is, Millie can't be there forever. She has her own life and even here, in this episode, we saw her being torn between two men in her life who crumbled and her already not being able to help both, being forced to choose.

I remember us talking with @lost-romantique about it, and what we found out was that Stolas is actually a perfect fucking candidate for that. With his ability to love truly unconditionally, with his capacity for sharing and repeating again and again and again that Blitzø is kind and beautiful and gorgeous and resourceful and so many more things Blitzø forgets about himself all the time. The owl loves words, words is his love language. And words—i-love-you's, reminders, real life examples—are exactly what Blitzø needs. That and someone staying by his side no matter what. No matter how shitty he feels or how many mistakes he made.

Blitz and self-hatred, plus his self-forgiveness journey.

Aka, watch me try to make sense of the massive lore drops in ghostfuckers. (Long post alert, my first meta post after ghostfuckers dropped)

Section 1: The roots of Blitz's self-hatred.

The circus fire. We know what Blitz's actions were that day, he saw Fizzarolli, and tried to call for help, but then he realized that Tilla was also caught up in the fire, and instantly rushed over to attempt to save her the moment Blitz realized that fact.

We know that Fizzarolli getting severely hurt in that fire affected Blitz very deeply, considering that it was one of the memories in that slideshow.

If you look at this frame by frame, you can see some sort of face in the fire when Blitz is rushing to save Tilla from the fire. The face in that fire looks like a mix of an angry face and a screaming face at the same time. Signaling that Tilla has been consumed by the flames. That she's dead.

There's an interesting detail within the hallucination sequence as well.

"This is your life." The fact that the fire in this sequence starts right at Blitz's hand is really telling. It tells us that Blitz still blames himself for accidentally causing the fire. Blitz blames himself for the fire that severely hurt Fizzarolli, and the fire that killed Tilla. Blitz feels like he hurt Fizzarolli and killed Tilla, his own mother.

Look at Blitz's hand during this memory, you can very clearly see that it's quite badly burned, including some that haven't even fully scarred properly yet, placing this memory very shortly after the fire happened. During this scene, Cash hits Blitz, and it's very clearly a memory that still deeply affects Blitz, a memory that most likely reinforced Blitz's own self hatred, because he's blaming himself for Tilla's death and Fizzarolli's injuries at this point, and his dad is just rubbing that in a lot by getting extremely pissed off with Blitz and hitting him because of the circus fire.

Plus, just look at Blitz's reaction to this memory, look at Blitz flinch, look at Blitz starting to struggle against the chains the moment this memory comes up. Blitz's reaction to this just proves how deeply it affects him to this day, and also proves that Cash hitting Blitz added to Blitz's self-hatred over the circus fire. Also, just how many times did Cash physically abuse Blitz like this over the course of his life so far?

Finally, we have the memory of Cash keeping Blitz from seeing Fizzarolli at the hospital. "But they told me you didn't want to see me.", Cash lied to Blitz and most likely the hospital staff as well considering the 'they' used, saying that Fizzarolli didn't want to see Blitz again, having strong implications to Blitz that Fizzarolli hated him. He also lied to Fizzarolli and said that Blitz never even visited him in the hospital. Further adding to Blitz's self hatred over the circus fire.

Section 2: Everything that has reinforced Blitz's self hatred, and is important on Blitz's self-forgiveness journey.

Let's start with Loona, we see her two times during the memories sequence.

The first having this exchange of dialogue.

Blitzo: Because, I adopted you! And that should mean something!

Loona: Oh, what does it matter?! You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!

Blitzo: It still counts!

Loona: Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't, now!

Notice the word 'need.', it's something that Blitz has internalized by now, Blitz thinks that if the people in his life don't 'need' him, they'll just leave him. Another thing that this shows is that Blitz is worried about if Loona hates him.

And it's very clear that Blitz is still effected by this exchange in s1 e3, even quite a while later. In s2 e2, we see Loona kick Blitz right in the balls, and just look at Loona's face in this scene, what Blitz sees here is his fear that Loona hates him, which is why it's in the memory sequence, and there's also these pieces of dialogue to consider.

Loona: If I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me?

Blitzo: Okay, well, maybe I- Maybe I might.

Blitzo: Oh, Loona, my sweet baby girl! I'm so sorry, I'll never replace you no matter what you--

Blitz is still concerned that Loona hasn't forgiven him/hates him for saying that he might replace her, hence why he instantly says he'll never replace her the moment Blitz sees her again, and that face and kick in the balls definitely fed into Blitz's fear that Loona hates Blitz.

And this fear that Blitz has about people who he cares about hating him seems to be something that applies to a lot of different people.

We see this fear in Fizzarolli, because this is one of the memories that comes up in that sequence. The malice-filled stare Fizzarolli gave Blitz during Ozzie's, and we all know Cash was the reason why Fizzarolli hated Blitz for so long, because he lied to Fizzarolli and said he started the fire on purpose, and said that he never visited him once. Alongside other things like Cash making Fizzarolli the golden child. So even all those years later, Cash is still contributing to Blitz's fear of the people he cares about hating him.

Don't be mistaken as well, just because they made up in s2 e6 doesn't make this fear of Blitz's go away, doesn't make the pain of the malice-filled stare go away, which this memory being brought up proves.

And, as I've said before, Blitz still blames himself for accidentally causing the fire that severely hurt him, also adding to the fear and self-hatred.

Barbie Wire, we can see this fear play out with her as well.

"I never wanna see you ever!"

Looking at both Blitz's face at the time and the fact that this scene made it into the memories sequence, it just shows us that Blitz has this fear for Barbie Wire as well, just like how he had it for Fizzarolli. The fact that Barbie Wire doesn't even want to see Blitz again just confirms that fear he has, that Barbie Wire hates him, and the memory of it also confirms just how deeply her saying that effected Blitz.

"Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?"

Truth Seekers, the fact that this is Blitz's subconscious telling him this is proof of the fact he has this fear that Moxxie will get tired of Blitz's behavior, that Moxxie will hate him and just, leave.

And the sequence with all the dead Millies and her appearance in the memories sequence also confirms that Blitz has this fear when it comes to Millie as well. Plus, the sequence with the dead Millies also tells us quite a few things, but I think the main ones are the insecurities Blitz has that he 'keeps fucking people's lives up' and 'leaving them worse and more broken than he found them', which both add to the fear that the people in Blitz's life who he cares for hates him.

The last person, Stolas.

There's three memories in ghostfuckers of him I'd like to bring up here.

The first being the All 2 U song memory, just look at how angry Stolas looks to Blitz in this specific memory, while singing lines like "'Cause I don't think it meant a thing at all!"

This one, Stolas was literally just crying a moment ago with all the makeup streaming down his face, but Blitz doesn't seem to remember that fact, instead, he's more focused on what Stolas said, more specifically, "You! Why are you here? I don't want you here, go home, please! Let me not feel so sad!"

And the final one, Stolas and the BTB guy. It's not jealousy, it's god damn heartbreak, especially considering the 'I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?' Which shows us that Blitz thinks Stolas deserves a better partner, and then a guy literally with a shirt named 'Better than Blitzo' came in, with them dancing and enjoying each other, something that Blitz most likely wished he could do.

Plus, it had been around 24 hours since Stolas' confession to Blitz, and to Blitz, Stolas is already with someone else, someone 'better' than him. With the moment of the BTB guy kissing Stolas being all the confirmation Blitz needed, that he'll never be enough for Stolas, that Stolas has found someone better than him. That he's unlovable.

With all these three memories just massively contributing to Blitz's fear that Stolas hates him, and his self-hatred in general.

(Obviously Stolas doesn't hate Blitz, and that the BTB dude is a one night stand at most, but I'm speaking like how Blitz sees things rn)

Something else that's also relevant is this memory of Verosika, and the reason why this is specifically in the reel is because this was the moment that Verosika said "A reckless, heartbreaking freak!", all while Stolas was watching, which is something Blitz very clearly noted in his memories of the event, showing how much this effected him as well.

And to show that even more, this is the exact point that gets Blitz's tears flowing.

Another thing I want to quickly mention is that Blitz struggles to understand concepts and such of love, outside of a transactional context. Like, correct me if I'm overthinking this, but the 'unconditional support' card is yet another example of Blitz doing this kind of stuff. Everytime they give Blitz 'unconditional support', Blitz punches a hole in the card, with the one at the end being that Blitz has to leave M&M alone for one date, like, my babygirl, that isn't unconditional.

I also suspect that this has roots with Cash as well, considering that Cash was 100% the type of person to only see their value as 'how much money they can make him', and that the less they make for him, the less that Cash will 'love' them, something that is extremely clear in the difference that Cash treated Blitz and Fizzarolli on multiple occurrences. Like, here for example. Plus, there's also the fact that Blitz was bought by Paimon to be friends with Stolas as a kid.

And well, I think we all know what the biggest example of this kind of relationship has been throughout the show, it being something that only ended a few episodes ago.

Of course, I have to mention "I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but… also crave it as well.", which is something that is extremely intertwined with this subject, and the best example of this is probably s2 e8.

Something else in the memories sequence that this line from truth seekers also heavily applies to are these memories.

It shows us very clearly that Blitz is rather envious of the relationship that Moxxie and Millie have, because Blitz craves proper intimacy, so what Blitz sees is something he wants, but something he feels like he can't obtain.

Finally, the last subject I'd like to talk about is the fact that Blitz, hasn't really been able to see much of the good things he's done for the people he cares about or that he straight up doesn't know, by just being himself.

Blitz saved Moxxie from a life with Crimson and also busted him out of prison, Blitz gave Millie a life, a husband, and a purpose, Blitz gave Loona a home and a loving father, right before she was about to get kicked out the system, and Blitz gave Stolas the courage to stand up to his abuser, to allow him to choose for himself and get that divorce.

But, the sad part is that Blitz doesn't really see much of that.

Section 3: The progress Blitz has made on self-forgiveness journey so far.

S2 E6, the fact that Blitz and Fizzarolli was able to make up after so long removed a huge roadblock in the way of Blitz's self-forgiveness journey. The fact that Fizzarolli no longer hates Blitz. While there are still memories about Fizzarolli that still haunt Blitz, as I've shown in this post, this is still a huge step forward for Blitz being able to repair his relationships.

tbh, thinking about it, the memories sequence, and the other bits worked quite similarly to how exposure therapy works, which I believe has proven benefits for mental health. I know it wasn't therapy in the slightest, but I still believe that in the long-run, that memory sequence was important for Blitz to witness, as it tells us a lot about Blitz's self-hatred, something that is extremely important.

The first real heart-to-heart Blitz and Millie conversation, a lot gets brought up here, just exactly how Blitz has improved Millie's life for the better, confirmation to Blitz that Millie never hated Blitz and the fact that they're best friends. Of course, there's also Millie's apology to Blitz, with this conversation being something that Blitz desperately needed to hear, and I really hope everyone else eventually tells Blitz just how much he's changed their lives for the better.

And the second conversation between the two, the first thing that Blitz mentions is Millie's best friend comment, and that is huge for Blitz, because it signals the start of Blitz learning that people in his life can care for Blitz unconditionally. That Blitz can just have friends in his life, as the line "I- I've never had a real friend that I didn't want to fuck."

(hit the image limit, so time for timestamps!) Timestamp 24:31

(Timestamp, 24:45) "The bird got to you that bad, huh?", it just means so much to me that Blitz has finally admitted the fact that Blitz has feelings for Stolas, because it shows that Blitz is slowly, but surely starting to open up, and this is gonna be a huge thing for Blitz's relationships, including when Stolitz finally gets back together.

[tvckerwash]

I'm not sure about all the Freelancers, but I have a few ideas on a couple of them (utc bc this got kind of long lol)

I believe that Project Freelancer was originally created to cater to Carolina, and the environment was meant to push her to be the "magic bullet to win the war". I think this because we know that deep down, The Director does genuinely love and care for Carolina—She is his greatest creation, after all—And pfl being meant for her kills two birds with one stone: He keeps Carolina (relatively) safe far, far away from the front lines (so that she can't meet the same fate as Allison), and she gets the competitive, challenging outlet she desires that she wouldn't be given in the conventional branches of the military.

Carolina is her father's daughter, and I'm very fond of the idea that she takes after The Director a lot more than she does Allison—She's smart, passionate, driven, arrogant, and she wants to be the best—That's all Leonard Church. I think this adds a very interesting perspective to Tex; As it's not that The Director is just forcing Carolina to compete with the shadow of the memory of her mother, but that he's asking her as his daughter if she will make the same mistakes he did? Or will she continue to defy his expectations and show him that she is not him, and prove to him that there was indeed another path he could've taken?

And in the end, Carolina does both. She proves to him that she is his daughter, but she proves to him that she is also Allison's daughter. Where he failed, Carolina did as well, but unlike him, she had the strength to push forward and let go of the past, just like her mother would have. It may have taken years, and a helping hand from an AI fragment, a group of colorful idiots, and Agent Washington—But she did it. She took a different path, and he couldn't be more proud of her for it.

Going off of that, I think it'd be hilarious if York was pulled into pfl because he's Carolina's maybe boyfriend, and the reason The Director has no patience for him is because he does not like him. The Director might not be able to pull the "overprotective father with a shotgun" card, but he can let a version of Carolina's mother beat the crap out of him, let him take a grenade to the face, and blast a hole through the hull of a space station that he just so happens to be in with a MAC canon lmao.

Ct is another character that I find very interesting to look at, and as much as I talk about Wash I absolutely adore her and am forever going to be disappointed with how her character was handled in s10.

But anyway, I firmly believe that Ct is meant to be the youngest Freelancer, as her behavior in s9 comes off in a way that to me implies she hasn’t been in the military long enough to have had the type of behavior that is expected of a soldier really hammered into her, or at the very least her attitude and refusal to respect those in authority positions is what got her sent towards Project Freelancer in the first place. 

The only other Freelancers who openly question The Director besides Ct in s9 are South and Wash, and the way that they both do so still showcases a respect for the chain of command.

When The Director explains the reasoning for why South’s position on the board dropped despite the mission being a success, she simply accepts it. She’s not happy about it, but that’s the point: Her feelings are irrelevant, whether she agrees with his decision or not doesn’t matter—The Director is her commanding officer, and her job as a soldier is to shut up and take it.

Same thing with Wash, it’s not his job to question The Director’s authority, and his defense of The Director is undoubtedly influenced by what happened the last time he decided he wasn’t going to respect the chain of command. Wash paid the price, and he learned his lesson, so when Ct starts going down the same path he once did, he steps in.

They both know that Wash is trying to protect her, and that he can’t do so forever, so when she tells him that “They’re drawing a line between us, Wash! And it’s getting pretty god-damn clear what side I’m on.”, Wash knows that she’s made her choice, and that he can’t stop her—But he can try and mitigate the damage for as long as possible, and pray to god that she understands what she’s getting herself into. 

So, what role did Agent Connecticut play? Why was she recruited for Project Freelancer? I believe that Ct’s experiment is asking what would happen when you take an inexperienced, rebellious young soldier and put them into a group with a bunch of other soldiers who already have years of military experience under their belts, and have been conditioned to not question anything? What kind of impact would the group have on her rebellious behavior? Would she eventually concede and force herself to fall in line? Or would her attitude infect the others?

Alright I want to expand more on this reply and this reply I wrote because I was cooking and these thoughts are so good they deserve a whole post dedicated to them (this post will make more sense if you read those two posts I linked first btw, but it’s not 100% necessary lol).

I believe Wash’s role in Project Freelancer was to see what kind of impact a hyper-competitive, heavily individualistic focused environment would have on an individual who has previously been deeply embedded into the forced collectivist assimilation seen in the military, and vice versa; What kind of impact an individual of Wash’s inherently outgoing and collaborative temperament would have among a group of hyper-competitive, introverted loners.

Wash really stands out to me because he seems to outright refuse to compete with the other Freelancers. I mean, admittedly, all the guys in pfl come off as significantly less competitive than the women (which is its own can of worms), but Wash is the only Freelancer who shows no competitiveness period.

North for example, was not happy about Carolina showing up at the oil platform and voices as much to South. I think North’s displeasure is directly related to pfl’s competitive nature, because normally when you’re outnumbered and outgunned—As he and South were—You’d be very glad for reinforcements. So logically, North being upset about Carolina showing up must be because it will reflect on them poorly. 

Maine and Wyoming are characterized as sore losers—They were so pissed about Tex handing their asses to them that they were willing to seriously injury, if not outright kill her, by using live ammo and live grenades in a training exercise.

York’s competitiveness is portrayed in a similar vein to North’s, as in it’s very subtle. York was just as frustrated as Maine and Wyoming were, and I don’t see another reason for why he’d force himself to leave medical early after having a grenade blow up in his face beyond the longer he’s off the roster, the further down the board he gets.

We don’t see any type of competitive behavior like the examples above from Wash throughout the entirety of the flashbacks, but we do see a different type of behavior from him.

Project Freelancer creates an environment that is trifled with animosity, exclusion, and favoritism, and while The Director is able to fool the other Freelancers into perpetrating this behavior among their ranks, he isn’t able to fool Wash into it—In fact, Wash refuses to tolerate it, and he actively fights against it everywhere that he can.

When Ct is beating herself up over a failed mission, Wash is the one that goes to comfort her, and what kind of language does he use to do so? Language that avoids pinning the blame on Ct alone and instead puts it on the whole team. “It wasn’t your fault, Connie.”, “So the ball got dropped, we were all there.”, “Everyone make mistakes.” 

When Maine and Wyoming bring out the live ammo, and York gets injured because of it, everyone else is mad at Tex. But Wash? He’s pissed at Maine and Wyoming, it was their choice to use live ammo that lead to York’s injury, so he expects them to get punished for it—And he’s rightfully baffled at The Director’s refusal to do so.

When York shows up for the heist, Wash makes a point to approach Carolina about it. He understands that she doesn’t want to appear weak and unsure of herself in front of The Director, and that she doesn’t want to give her teammates any more reasons to dislike her than they already do. By approaching her first, he’s able to give her an out if she chooses to do so—And if she had agreed York wasn’t ready, then it’s Wash who York can blame for it.

Wash recognized almost immediately that Tex was going to get the brunt of the team's anger and outrage over York’s injury, and he makes sure to let everyone know that she likely kept him from getting killed. He also recognized that she was being set up to be excluded from the rest of the team, so the very first thing he did when he got a moment alone with her was reach out by making friendly small talk, trying to establish a connection so that Tex could use him as an entry into the team's inner dynamic. 

Now going back to the blurb I opened this post with, I ask these questions:

What would Wash—As someone who sees himself as one part of a bigger whole—Be willing to do in order to appease the people around him? What actions would he take to try and lower the mental burden that such a competitive and inherently hostile environment would put upon his teammates?

The answer? I think Ct puts it very well with this line:

“Some of us very specifically make mistakes, and some of us don’t seem to make any mistakes at all.” 

This line is meant to be seen as half Ct calling Wash out on his bullshit, and half her being genuinely upset over Carolina’s status as ‘Ms. Perfect’, because in Ct’s mind, Wash and Carolina are very much two sides of the same coin; Intentionally making mistakes that don’t get you or your teammates killed requires the same level of skill and attention to detail that it would take to avoid making any mistakes in the first place. This is why Wash’s talk about them being a team makes her so angry, and why she sees it as him trying to make excuses for her: There are no excuses for fucking up when you work with people who have to intentionally choose to make the same mistakes that you unintentionally do. 

uuuhhhhh idk how to end this post but I really love looking at Wash through this lens because it speaks volumes about him, and it adds so much more complexity and nuance to his already incredibly layered character.