#why bring it to my post
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man i hate when i make a positive post or even just a happy personal post and someone comes in being negative on it like. if youre gonna be deprecatory do it on your own post damn
#txt#it wasnt EASY working towards a more positive mindset its something that took (and still takes) active work#and i dont want to see your ass like 'oh lol couldnt be me' 'i hate myself/my art/my work' etc#SHUT UP ! go into the world lay in the sun find beauty and happiness in yourself then come back to me#it takes active effort and im not lookin to see someone i barely know rejecting it. i dont care ! go fix yourself !#sorry for vagueing its not about anyone here. im just annoyed cuz like.#things are so much better if you make an active effort to stop self deprecating#its not easy and everyone has bad things happen its okay to be in a bad mood sometimes but like damn#why bring it to my post#vent#i guess ??
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Flower Empowered.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan wunian#The absolute chaos that ensued when Lan Wangji showed up...those girls went wild.#We have to give kudos to narration that takes the form of a bunch of suitor seeking ladies.#They were so loud about being here for the hotties and whispering gossip. You go girls.#Wei Wuxian most likely just picked up a already tossed flower to throw. Second hand flowers...are still flowers I suppose.#Can you imagine if LWJ had allergies? Poor lad.#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:#So...from where we are in the timeline...what the hell is WWX supposed to be wearing?#I'm serious. Put all the fanart out of your brain for a moment.#We are post burial grounds and sunshot campaign so he's had his little goth moment reveal.#*BUT* he is still with the Jiang sect. And by proxy of this flashback talking about his disrespect - they never bring up his attire.#meaning he is likely in some kind of Jiang Purple.#Continuity wise it really feels like this scene should have been *before* the burial mounds.#I understand why it's post - we need to build up on the mystery of how he became the YLLZ.#But also his personality feels way more 'pre-burial mounds WWX'. I think this was probably a 'I don't want to kill my darling' scene.#(The Phoenix mountain flashback is a lot of people's 'darling'. I am knowingly putting myself in the line of fire here).#I'm willingly putting him in Wen Qing's borrowed cloak and assuming people take him wearing it as like...a war trophy.#Historians will revise this moment later on but for now he *is* a hero of that war.
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accumulated enough abandoned wips to dump them in a post again
#deltarune#kris#noelle#my art#i actually really like that first one but once ive left a piece for too long i cannot bring myself to work on it again i dont know why.#maybe if im rly motivated and have the time.. which i have neither of right now#im sorry im always complaining abt how busy i am but its upsetting how much its been affecting how much i can draw..#whcih is why i thought now would be a good time for a post like this at least
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i adore Maruki as a character because he's simultaneously the most relatable depressing character that will make you cry with empathy, and the goofiest wettest cat loser in the game like what do you mean youre a licensed therapist and your first response to trauma is to brainwash a girl, project ur relationship issues onto a 17 yr old boy, and then rule the world in a golden leotard? bro went from 0 to 100 so fast??? anyway he's like 30% of the reason why p5r works as well as it does
#maruki is so essential to why p5r works and im so serious about that#i should do a post one day just deep diving into what makes him the best antagonist. like narratively and thematically#maruki 10000% projected his life story onto joker#he called joker the light guiding his research and then his treasure is a torch?#he discussed his trauma at not being able to save rumi right before tempting joker to save akechi?#guys i think the therapist needs therapy#also he's so funny#remember when he sprinkled salt trying to act cool and then it blew in everyone's faces and stung a bunch of students#i love reading fics w him because its a toss-up#some of them call him out for being an insane world-dominating manipulator (valid)#and in some of them hes like the phantom thieves' weird neighbor that they invite sometimes bc he brings nice snacks (also valid)#i love it guys maruki the gift that keeps giving#persona 5#my post#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#maruki takuto#takuto maruki#shuake#phantom thieves#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#p5r maruki
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#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#i feel like i see people bring up this line all tje time to criticize theon and call him awful but its like.#the most blatant obvious line where he looks in the camera and says Haha My Dad Would Beat Me and Call Me Names. Fathers Do That!#and its like. oh my fucking god i knowww . I KNOW people think hes annoying or a piece of shit and he is atrocious dont get me wrong but#hes literally the most blatant metaphor of how abuse can affect a person into who they are#like no shit sherlock he desperately wants the starks to accept him. his actual dad would fucking beat him and he got taken outta that home#and placed in a new one where like one guy liked him as a friend but everyone else was kinda cold#<- WOAH! a metaphor about the foster care system and the way it affects a person.#like fucking obviously he bends over backward to try to get the approval of his peers or have fatherly approval#What else did you expect. Why do you think he makes all those choices ramsay suggests to him about trying to#get the respect of all of his men. he doesnt want to lose the respect. like.#Okay. Done now thank you#grace post
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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merlin’s secret being a visual thing. when he is around arthur or gwen or leon or morgana or [insert whatever character here] merlin seems pale and thin, almost like a ghost or an apparition. when the sun lands on him he reflects it like a corpse, he eyes seem dark and dull. he has this ethereal beauty to him, this otherworldly visage that leads many to believe he is of fae blood. he just doesn’t seem to be 100% human. but when he is ONLY with lancelot or gaius (cough or gwaine bc gwaine DEFINITELY knew) merlin is heartachingly human. merlin shines in the sunlight, colors are brighter and more vibrant around him, and his smiles are wide and his laughs are boisterous. he takes on color and leaves everyone wanting to know him. but when other join in or interact with the two, merlin shifts before their eyes so quickly and suddenly that they aren’t sure whether or not what they saw was a trick of the light. the idea still leaves them wanting more and wanting to see the merlin who is just so full of life but that merlin only appears for a small select group of people. merlin who has a guard so high that it has an effect of other’s perception of him.
#arthur is absolutely steaming about this btw#he so desparately wants to be in the golden bubble around merlin in those moments#but his mere presence seems to pop it#hes fuming#its not until after the magic ban is repealed that everyone gets to see the glowing golden merlin#and they finally realize what the trick of the light was#merlin who is magic incarnate who (no matter how hard he tries) cannot fully repress what makes him him#arthur who finally gets to be in the golden bubble and its so much better than he ever couldve imagined#merlins magic is finally able to roam free the way it only could with a few people#merlins magic who absolutely adores arthur and is constantly reaching out for him even if him and merlin arent in the same vicinity#lmao arthur bringing up how merlins magic likes to card thru his hair and ease any sore muscles he may have#and lancelot and gwaine going ‘wtf? what about my muscles and hair?? merlin hates me?? merlin is playing favorites???? jail.’#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#subtle magic my beloved#visibly Strange merlin my dear#idk i was thinking about pre-magic reveal!arthur watching merlin and lancelot talking and then pouting and going#‘why doesnt he smile and look at me like that? :(‘#and then post-magic reveal!arthur having a moment of realization and going#like ‘oh hes hiding a huge part of what makes him him. i only know half of my best friend.’#and then setting out to know ALL of him bc arthur and merlin are soulmates and in love and two sides of the same coin and best friends and-#im going thru my drafts and finding so many banger posts#idk why i never posted them LMAOO
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Iblis is so back guys
Inspired by one of the memes on this post!
#how the fuck does Elise's dress work#knuckles spoilers#btw!!!!#knuckles the echidna#knuckles series#knuckles show#princess elise#kinda#iblis sonic#my art#so the knuckles series sure was something#I truly never thought Iblis would be brought back via low budget rock opera puppet#or that it would be sealed in Knuckles this time around???#like that is what happened right#this implies Mephiles exists in the movie universe too though right?#because he and Iblis are two halves of Solaris#iirc#why would they bring back Iblis and not mention Silver btw this is so unfair /lhj#if they bring Silver in to beat the hell out of Knuckles for having Iblis trapped in him that would be funny I think#a pipe dream perhaps#also sorry about not posting as much I keep forgetting Tumblr exists#okay thats it
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this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.
can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.
but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!
it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.
it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.
#disability#disability pride month#chronic fatigue#fibromyalgia#cfs/me#post exertional malaise#like fucking hell people we should really be long past this by now#why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three#i did a short walk to a cafe yesterday because I thought I was up to it#and my right leg has seized up#my ankle can barely take my weight and my hip won't move properly#also lol I almost certainly have hEDS but cannot persuade a doctor to give me a referral#in summary#stop being fucking dense#i would rather people who don't need mobility aids use them than have people struggle because they don't want to be seen as a faker#or have people think that you have to reach a certain level of severity before you need it#also if I had a wheelchair I would bring my cat with me more places but that's by the by
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writing fics is so funny. writing ongoing ones is even more so
while no one owes me any comments, they're obviously nice to get. every single one, even if it's just hearts or something
i'm mostly amused by this, but i can't stop thinking about how often people write "can't wait to see what comes next" and then i post what comes next and they just... disappear. never come back. delete their bookmark and i see i've lost a subscriber who i assume was that person.
it just gets me wondering what was the thing that made them go "yeah nope actually i'm not finishing this"
#arden rambles#when i updated artho and killed sirius#(spoilers)#i fully expected people to nope out#but this fandom is full of masochists and i just got more people reading#although i think the promise of bringing him back was the thing that kept people reading#however this time i didn't even post anything controversial#for the record i definitely don't want to know why someone wouldn't want to read my fic
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I was going through my art folder again and I saw one of the oldest wof stuff I've ever drawn (the fourth one ever I think?) and I redrew it! I love Turtle and I just took this excuse to draw him again
#What's this? two cinnamon posts in a week?#I got so tired of reading about molluscs man#so many snail shells and clam shell hinge types#I finished my notes and run to look for something to draw#I feel like I'm redrawing my stuff recently#but honestly it brings me joy so why not#I have this one drawing I'm constantly thinking about redrawing#the oldest wof drawing I've ever done#it's actually on tumblr it's the one with blue and orange rainwing#but I don't know if I'm ready for it yet#anyway Turtle#I love turtle and my design for this dude#also I took my old anemone design and gave it more jellyfish-ness#I feel it suits her vibe and also anemones are cnidarians too so it makes sense to me#wings of fire#wof#dragons#wof turtle#wof anemone#seawing#cinnamon's doodles#wof fanart
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heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible
#mumbling#goD#thinking about that one cringing = pearl clutching post i saw a while ago#legitimately good points and the only time i’ve ever seen someone point out the linguistic shift#of ‘cringe’ going from verb to adjective and how that takes the blame off of the people DOING the cringing#like yeah! that’s it that’s the thing i’ve been trying to figure out how to say!!#the insidious shift from cringe as an action of the beholder to a property of the beheld is not only worth examining#but demonstrates a seriously important way our brains can be affected over time by language#that was something i didn’t even notice! sure it bothered me but i didn’t know how to express WHY#and i think it’s so cool to see someone finally manage to articulate smth that’s been pissing me off for years#HOWEVER#my god was op’s phrasing annoying the hell out of me for some reason#just written in such a grating writing style i couldn’t bring myself to reblog it even though i really wanted to
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kinda old fern n finn n jake art i've never posted for some reason? :P get robloxed idiot
#i actually know the reason lol. i wanted to draw a buncha these and post them all at once#BUT I GIVE UP. these r so old especially the top one and if i make more the difference will be much more noticeable me thinks#not like i've improved. i barelyyy draw anymore even tho I WANNA DRAW. I LIKE IT. WHY CANT I JUST. DRAW.#i wanna practice more and draw more and get better but i cant bring myself to do ittttt im so mad#adventure time#fern the human#finn the human#jake the dog#fern mertens#finn mertens#roblox screenshots#my silly art#shitpost
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I argued with some random asshole on the internet a while ago and I noticed I made them feel really bad with my anger, I decided to at least get them some groceries as a apology gift because I know they struggling too, few days ago I went over to talk about the situation while calm and to properly apologize, made sure to let the person know that they don't gotta talk to me that it's ok if they don't want anything to do with me, they agreed and added me to a group chat with their girlfriend and then proceeded to berate me for the next 4 hours straight taking turns to call me names 😭 and I'll tell you what. To be called creepy and obsessed for sending the money and get berated for that too??? Like I know $50 isn't like a huge amount nowadays but it was half of all the money in my bank account at the time. And it was a tough decision to make because I am already struggling to pay rent and because I'm too disabled to work. I snapped out of it immediately, like wow no wonder I got mad at them in the first place.
The moral of the story is, don't try to fix things with the worst people you have ever met, your gut feeling was right, there's a reason why you got angry. It will only harm you and make you harm them, too, when you eventually get emotional and pissed off over how they treated you and then use it against you. Whatever you do won't be enough and taken as the worst possible thing to do. Simply fuck off. That's the best outcome for everyone that will hurt the least amount of people.
#also like#this is completely unrelated to the point but i have called them a stalker multiple times#and while talking to me they started bringing up that i have been feeling bad lately and if im still dating my boyfriend and are we happy#like what is that about?#how do you see my posts why are you asking me this its kind of freaking me out#or telling me that me and my bf are trying to be them like????????#we dont even think about you and when we do we just laugh at your dumbass in call we do not care LOL#either way this is so insane and i need to vent it out and share my experience to people because what on earth#for context i have blocked them on all social platforms so they have to be following me on burners just to keep up with me#which is definitely normal behavior#my little oniisionling incel stalker saga
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by far the funniest thing to find while reading a canonverse atla fic. what is blorbo from religion doing there get him out immediately
#yk that post abt noping out of fics after a single word. this is it for me#JESUS?????#why would u bring christianity into the atla world haven’t they suffered enough#the concept of atla jesus is so cursed my brain breaks even just Thinking abt it#send post
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REFERENCING THIS POST
#mel art#mp100#(spongebob about to get crushed image) i can say faggot ican say it iCAN SAY IT I CAN RECLAIM IT I CA#but also genuinely if anyone is confused. like if ur a friend of mine n see this and get worried like oh no why is he saying slurs#just ask i can explain cause i know there are some folks who are like. under the impression of 2021 slur discourse#& it has become such a firm idea in their heads that it can be a little difficult to understand#especially if some of the intake or outward appearance can seem. quote en quote aggressive#sorry i cant beleive im fuckng talking about slur discourse in a post about fagot teru#but like idk this is something ive been worrying about for a little while. ive been wanting to be more open about this stuff on my blog for#like a long ass while and i think a shitpost is a good way 2 bring it up LOLOLOL#but yeah if ur uncomfy pls jus tell me
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