#also yes gem is coming with joel

[whiteboardartstudios]

I SAID I WAS GOING TO DRAW THAT CAR SO HERE WE ARE (I hope you enjoy this is the stupidest thing I've drawn in months /affectionate)

(I put the image descriptions in the Alt text this time because there's so many images. If it doesn't work please tell me and I'll yeet them in the actual post!!)

happy finale of Wild Life everybody! :D

[ivys-garden]

Life Series Session Recap and Alliance Analysis

Pearl opens her episode clarifying she and Impulse did nothing wrong. Finally I don't have to write “get over double life, tumblr” every week.

Yes, another Saturday means another instalment of the Life Series. This session was far more chill and slow paced than last weeks, ironic considering that this week's Wild Card was a perpetual speed increase! Going from a complete time freeze to full hyperspeed. Naturally, this led to about a 7.5 on the madness scale, so let's see what those teams were up to.

The Final Girls - (Scott, Cleo, Pearl, Impulse & Bigb (not anymore ;3 ))

On the topic of Pearl and Impulse, Cleo decides that they will fully enable all of they're future actions. Yes, she might sigh when they talk about all the evil stuff they're going to do, but she's fully on board.

Right about now Scott is probably regretting being team mum for three chaos gremlins as he's already had to instruct them not to give Gem any more reasons to kill them & had to break up the fight that was issued once they all went Matrix mode.

Speaking of Gem & Joel, a new development in the great drama sees Impulse explain himself and apologise to Gem. She doesn't buy it but it's the thought that counts. During this apology Pearl, the attack dog, is ordered by Gem and Impulse to slaughter grian. So while Cleo and Scott go off to make friends, Impulse and Pearl pop over to Rens for some very serious murder discussion, with an eventual “let's murder Grian” party forming consisting of Pearl, Impulse, Ren, Martyn, Bigb, Scar & Jimmy. If even a fraction of these people stick to this next session Grian is pretty firmly doomed.

In other news Scott manages to make allies with the Bamboozelers through several means, including staring at Jimmy's ass. Cleo & Impulse have a little caving adventure and Impy manages to make a working Creeper farm that they may or may not be sharing with Renwood. This leaves Pearl once again building the tower, which is good since she has arguably to much experience in that

While building the tower we get more Drama! Grian and Mumbo managed to get a quick kill on Scott early on the session by digging a big pit under the tower and spleefing him in. Mumbo and Skizz later come back to this trap only to be discovered by Pearl. The Suits try to get her to lure Scott over, but Pearl is far to loyal for that…. But not loyal enough to kick them out, reasoning that it would be really funny if it happened twice. On top of this she negotiated the ability to kill grian without them stepping in, very useful given her current plans & the second spleefing doesn't work anyways, so no harm no foul.

No one would actually agree to luring their team to their Death intentionally… right Bigb?

I'd say I'm surprised, but I'm not. He's worked again every team he's been in except Nosey Neighbours. I guess the “B” must stand for “Betrayal”

Bigb pulls the same thing Pearl did only not under the pretence of a joke, when Grian is around to actually make sure his team gets the kill, actually agreeing to lure Scott and doing it INFRONT OF CLEO. This being the second time this has helped to them, Cleo immediately goes off to find Scott to warn him about the traitor…Scott still falls into the trap anyway but that was a skill issue on his part. Bigb actually tries later to gaslight Scott into thinking that he didn't mean to betray the team, which almost worked until he started saying Cleo was the traitor, which obviously Scott would never buy. Oh he also did this in earshot of Cleo so she set her attack dog (Pearl) on him.

Bigb also later betrays the “Let's Kill Grian Gang” and warns Grian about the plan to murderficate him. I guess someone hasn't gotten over Double Life after all.

The Fast And The Furious - (Joel & Gem)

Actually, the fast and the paranoid might be more accurate as while Joel is just off having a grand old time prattling speed bridging, Gem is terrified that everyone is out to get her and doesn't seem to understand that putting your base on the main path means more people will come visit.

Aside from sending everyone they can to kill Grian and disregarding Impulses genuine apology, the team due doesn't really do much themselves

Gem was officially the last person to lose a life though, with no less than 4 people, including 2 greens, having to help kill her.

Also Joel added racing stripes to the car and… it actually made it a lot less hideous, well done Joel.

The Bamboozelers - (Jimmy, Scar & Lizzie)

Jimmy has regained the title as most confident member of this team…scarily confident in fact, just this session he was able to steal a potential kill from Skizz & kill his teammates, get another good kill on Joel using Lizzie as bait, managing to turn his relationship with Joel around to become allies and reaffirming his alliance with Renwood. Honesty 100 IQ plays from Tim all around.

He did die once this session, but that wasn't his fault and was also incredibly funny to watch Martyn bimbo his way through traps made for Bigb and accidentally kill Timmy. Great job everyone.

Speaking of failed traps… oh Scar… he started of strong, absolutely annihilating Etho in slow motion and living up to the villain he shares a name with by tossing him off a cliff, but after that every single attempt to trap someone fails miserably and he's forced into a cheap kill on Grian that results in him calling for vengeance… wouldn't be to worried about that tho considering Skizz and Mumbo's track record.

The Spanners - (Mumbo, Skizz & Grian)

How are these idiots not dead yet.

They get one (1) successful kill this session, spleefin’ Scott. A trap Mumbo tries his luck with several times after this despite knowing the Final Girls already knew about it.

Skizz gets no kills despite Grians efforts. An attempt to build a super TNT minecart launcher is made… on Scars mountain… and Grian spends several.minutes explaining to his worst enemies how the trap works… and then he and Mumbo stand directly under where they know the TNT will land. Yeah obviously Jimmy sneaks in and pulls the lever to kill them.

A second attempt to launch TNT is made, but this launcher is pathetic and ends up being turned into a party game. oh, and then Grian gets hotguyed by Scar. Grian immediately screams vengeance and blows up the reputation board, ranting about how little it meant since he was in good favour… which only proved he never read the damn thing but it's the thought that counts.

In their last hoorah for this session the team goes on a proper hunt The Bamboozelers as they hide in Joel's car. Mumbo sneaks up to pure lava on them… and burns himself to death. He then tries to hypersonic pvp Gem and you can guess how that went. He then joins in trapping Gwm in a big hole and burning her, only for the kill to go to Ren anyway.

These guys are Doomed. Especially because Final Girls & The Family are allied with Scar & The fact that Renwood actively wants to murder them.

Predictions: Grian goes Yellow next session, Mumbo goes out-out and Skizz is somehow still Red.

Renwood - (Ren & Martyn)

We actually covered everything these guys did already, The Grian Murder Crew, Martyn being a trap bimbo, Ren allying with Impulse to make up for beheading him, really the only thing we haven't discussed is Martyns strange choice to make the first 5 minutes of his episode unlistenable

The Tuff Guys - (Etho, Tango & Bdubs

Etho finally admits they're the comic relief. Like any good comic relief, these three stooges spend the entire session failing at everything. Tango fails on the same trap 3 times. Bdubs almost kills himself in said trap. There's more fights and bickerings than you could count on 15 hands and a toe

Oh also Tango also perma-died to Pearl after going invis and being pumped full of arrows.

Honestly it's not a question of if someone dies next session, it's a question of who.

[bugsinapocket]

Hello there! I’d like to introduce you to my newest project:

My Little Hermit!

Two of my hyper-fixations decided to merge and create this cute little AU! Mostly based off of season 10 and the hermits personalities- I wanted to give a shot at creating pony designs for them.

More information and singular reference sheets below the cut!

First up we have Joel!

Joel is a Changeling; I’ve always seen him as a bug and I like to change his Shrek ears into antenna! Changelings are the bugs of the MLP universe, so I thought it it. I decided to make him reformed because of the colour palette. I’ve always seen Joel as somebody with a very vibrant and bright personality; and he tends to use eye-catching colours in many of his builds. Vibrant, bright, and eye-catching are all words I would associate with the reformed changeling colour palette! They use very vibrant colors, and I think it suits Joel quite a lot.

Next we have Skizz!

Skizz is a Pegasus pony for a few reasons! I’m trying to base the pony designs off of the content creators’ personalities and building /gaming styles- but I’m also taking the more popular fanon designs for these characters into account as well. Many people draw him as an angel. I also see Skizz as somebody who is incredibly sweet and is constantly trying to lift others up, and with a pair of wings, he could do that literally! So why not!

Then of course the lovely Gem!

Gem was a little harder to pinpoint, since I’ve only recently started watching her videos, but since I’m also trying to base these designs off of their season 10 aesthetics- I decided to make her a hippogriff! In the MLP universe, hippogriffs are creatures that can transform into sea ponies using a magical necklace (this is shown explicitly in the movie). Since her base for this season is based on dredge and fisher/pirate aesthetics, I decided to make her a hippogriff to give her that advantage when it comes to terraforming her underwater section of the base. I also think that her little fishing rivalry with Grian could be funny if she could literally transform into a fish.

And last but certainly not least; Impulse!

Impulse is a unicorn, partially to be parallel with Skizz- but also for his ability to create magic with Redstone. I considered making him an earth pony for his feeling of stability and competence, but it didn’t feel quite right. So unicorn he is! His cutie mark is his signature "i" symbol that's lit up like a redstone torch.

AND YES I MADE A LOGO. I HAD TO. I COULDNT NOT DO THIS.

I hope you enjoy!

[cas-edspace]

why the hell not:

Random Hermit Headcanons

———

Everyone is completely comfortable with being in hybrid form with Tango.

Anyone who normally hides it, just lets out the ears, wings, etc with Tango. He isn’t aware that not everyone has seen Etho’s face, ears, or that no one realizes that there are two vampires on the server. He also makes sure they eat, (dad) (acts of service) (and the vamps do not feed on Tango, because that gotta taste like lava or an equivalent)

—

…Just realized that I planned on adding someone to this random hc hc listing and he’s not even in Hermitcraft but who cares: Here’s one for Scott;

He’s a shapeshifter, and no one seemed to caught onto that yet. Not the floating crystals in Last Life or the fact he was suddenly half fish in Limited Life.

—

Doc and Martyn are jokingly “fighting” over Ren, but the guy somehow doesn’t realize? The pup is just rping as pirates, pirate rats, and his ears apparently doesn’t pick up “He’s mine” comments.

Zero braincells <3

—

Etho keeps thinking about the family dynamic from Limited Life, because Scar randomly calls Cleo Mom still and… gave himself a step parent? And reassigned Etho’s role?

(This is based off of the Hungry Hermit conversation:

Scar: I wanna see mom and dad play!

Tango: Yeah, sure, I’ll play

.

.

Etho: Who’s mom?

Tango: Does the answer change if you’ll play or not?

Etho: I’ll play (don’t remember exact line)

(^This actually happened, so did this v)

Scar lost his permits

Tango: *sighs* I’m going to sound like a total dad here, but where did you last have them? Retrace your steps.

Scar: (something something, doing this from memory is great, it is 2am) Alright, dads come over here

Etho and Tango follow

. . .

Etho is asking himself about the complexity of the dynamics, does Bdubs know about the new step parent? Did Scar tell him or is he supposed to- Is he overthinking the bit? Absolutely, and should he just forget it? Yes, but it creeps back up

—

Impulse is a dragon hybrid (not demon), which means he can talk to Jean, the Ender Dragon. And he does!

Doesn’t stop her from trying to kill him, though

Rest of ZITS make fun of him for this.

—

Speaking of Z, Zedaph wasn’t always a pink sheep hybrid

Cue stereotypical (cliche but I do like em) Lab experiment trauma- jk, no, he did that to himself. With science! …and not with using dyes, like he most definitely should’ve done. No one knows what other side effects that the experiments had may have caused him, but Zed is happy because he’s pink.

—

All older hermits have killed Watchers

Grian doesn’t know this.

Hermitcraft has proved itself again and again to not be easy pickings. There are reasons that the server is lasting.

—

Joel misses his wife- wait that’s just normal Joel-

—

Gem is Ares in God Games, in EPIC the Musical

Change my mind

—

Boogeyman kills leave permanently deep scars on the slain.

Bdubs once saw Tango without his shirt and… Seeing those long, jagged, deep as the day he got them scars that goes from his right shoulder to just above his left hip…

Bdubs now struggle sleeping through the night, seeing the marks he left…? The Boogeyman curse is not forgiving and makes it impossible to hold back. And Tango’s back proves it.

—

Doc can cheer…leading? He is a cheerleader. But not for the Dallas Cowboy ifykyk

—

Cub somehow cannot be trolled. we don’t know how he does it

—

When Pearl zones out, she’ll float upwards. Her dogs are trained to go get someone to help Pearl before she zones back in and falls to her (not) death. Being a ghost on a server is hard

—

Wild Life powers doesn’t fully go away. I’ll elaborate on a different post

Because this is too long, and it is 2:30 am now and I should sleep

[uispeccoll]

From the John Martin Rare Book Room

De nivis usu medico observationes variae by Thomas Bartholin, and printed in Hafniae [Copenhagen] by Matthias Godiche for Peter Haubold [bookseller], 1661.

Happy December, friends. With winter comes snow and frigid temps, of course. As you walk around, breathing in the crisp air and having your face go numb from the wind and snow, you may think to yourself, "Hmm, I wonder if anyone ever considered using snow as anesthesia?" The answer is a stone–cold "yes."

We're highlighting the work from the prodigious 17th–century Danish physician Thomas Bartholin (1616–1680). Beyond looking like Billy Joel in his heavy metal days (yes, that was a thing), Bartholin rocked a strong scientific mind and was a prolific writer. He corresponded with many of the greatest thinkers of his day, wrote over 20 books (including one on unicorns!), and conducted many experiments.

One area he dabbled in was refrigeration anesthesia (the application of cold to deaden sensation, known today as cryoanesthesia). The application of something cold has long been known to help reduce pain. Medieval physicians, such as Ibn Sina, were the first to write about it.

In De nivis usu medico observationes variae [Various observations on the medical use of snow], Bartholin picks up where those medieval writers left off, thoroughly examining all the medical applications of snow, including as a topical anesthetic.

Chapter XXII makes the first known mention of the use of mixtures of ice and snow for freezing to produce surgical anesthesia, crediting the Italian physician Marco Aurelio Severino for the technique. To avoid killing the tissues and causing gangrene, the ice–snow mixture was to be applied in narrow parallel lines to the area designated to be cut. After a quarter of an hour, feeling would be deadened and the part could be cut without pain.

Along with about 200 pages detailing all the medical properties of snow (who knew there were so many!), there is also a treatise on snow crystals by Bartholin's younger brother, Erasmus. This is the earliest publication on crystallography and preceded Boyle's Essay about the origine & virtues of gems (1672) by eleven years.

It should be noted that we do not suggest trying Bartholin's methods out for yourself this winter.

--Curator Damien Ihrig

[mochiwrites]

For the ask game/prompt, mayhaps #1 with Scarian? Could be in canon, one of your AUs, or any other AU you think of lol, no preference ☺️

01. Touch starved/cuddle curse (put that guy in a situation!)

reblogs do more than likes!

"How in the world have you managed this, Scar?!" Grian's indignant voice exclaims, echoing in the small space of Scar's train car. The avian looks down at the man currently pouting at him, a sheepish expression on his face.

"I-I don't know! Joel just gave me this potion thingy and -- and said it would be good for bonding with cOW!" As he speaks, he makes a grabbing motion for Grian, his pout morphing into a pleading look.

Grian pointedly takes a step back from Scar's outreaching arms, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Trusting Joel was your first mistake," he mumbles, sucking in a breath.

"He's a trustworthy fellow!" Scar retorts, "Besides, I don't see what's so bad about this arrangement... all I want to do is cuddle with you."

"That's exactly the problem, Scar!" The feathers of Grian's wings fluff up as he stares at his husband with a firm look. "I have building I have to do! Shops to set up, permits to not do! I also promised Gem I'd help her out with something in a few hours. I can't just stay here with you all day."

Scar's pleading expression only becomes stronger, his green eyes looking shiny as he stares up at Grian from where he sits on his head. "Please, lovebird? Just for a little bit?" He makes another grabbing motion for Grian, who finds his resolve rapidly crumbling the longer he looks at Scar.

"Nuh uh mister, I know exactly how this sort of thing goes. We both know it won't just be 'for a little bit,'" he answers. Grian's making any desperate attempts at keeping his denial firm.

But... he could just tell Gem he'd be around tomorrow. And it's not like the Permit Office is really ever open. They're only sometimes there to help anyway. And he still hasn't come up with any ideas for his mushroom stem shop.

"I promise this time I'll stick to it! Only a few hours, I swear on my hat!" Scar exclaims, eagerly nodding.

"Where have I heard that one before," Grian mumbles under his breath, fondness written into each and every word. He lets out a little sigh, "Alright, alright, fine. But only for a few hours! Let's hope this... cuddle affliction has run its course by then."

He takes a step toward Scar, and the moment he's close enough, a hand jumps out to grab hold of his wrist. Grian yelps as he's pulled right into Scar's lap, arms slinging around his waist. He steadies himself by gripping Scar's shoulders, finding the love of his life grinning at him.

"You should know I always want to cuddle with you." Scar shoots him a cheeky little wink, making Grian roll his eyes, a small smile upon his lips. "You just fit in my arms so perfectly!"

"Maybe that's just because you're a giant," Grian huffs, getting settled in Scar's hold. He moves to lay his head on Scar's shoulder, tucking it within the crook of his neck. "You're like one big teddy bear."

Scar squeezes him lightly, one of his hands moving to rest against the small of his back, right in between his feathers. The contact leaves Grian melting right into him with a content noise. "Am I a cute teddy bear?"

Grian snorts at him.

"It's the most important question I've ever asked you next to proposing, Grian!" Scar gasps in return, a serious look in his eyes. His green eyes sparkle with mirth, and pressed against him like this, Grian can feel the way his chest rumbles with hidden laughter. "I have to know if I'm a cute teddy bear!"

"Yes Scar," Grian sighs fondly, pulling back to hold the man's face in his hands, "you're a very cute teddy bear." He accentuates his response with a kiss to Scar's nose, "Although Jellie is cuter."

Scar makes some kind of ecstatic noise, pulling Grian down into bed as he rolls onto his side. Grian squawks at the sudden action, just narrowly avoiding his wings getting squished. "But of course! No one is cuter than Jellie. You come in a close second place though."

If it were anyone but Jellie, Grian would have complained.

Instead, he snuggles in close to Scar, wrapping a wing around him as they fall into a comfortable silence. Scar's arms are secure around him, and Grian thinks he'd be fine with laying here all day, wrapped in his husband's arms.

"Remember Scar, only for a few hours."

"Right, right! Only a few hours. Or until this cuddle curse goes away!"

(They go well over 'a few hours' together. Grian's communicator pings a few times, but it sounds almost silent over the pair's easy breaths as they sleep.)

[ahllohehn]

What are the names of everyone's weapons?

Idk I don't put much thought into their weapons aside from the fact that they just have it. Most of it would just be named after what the mcyters already name their tools for fun.

So, no, I'm not gonna be naming literally everyone's weapons, but here's some of them. (Below)

about au au tag discord

Etho has a Serrated Stygian Iron Schimtar named Worldeater, but he barely says the name 'cause he got teased for being so cheesy about it (Yes, he has a flower string charm attached to its handle because he refused Gem's offer of having pins and instead gets string charms)

Bdubs was gifted Kronos' scythe after the Hephaestus kids stole it from under the gods' noses for Etho initially. He named it Timeteller since he relates to Etho for being cheesy with naming.

Ren, from his first portrait, has a bident/two-pronged spear decorated to look like a dog. When Ren is in use of Ares' blessing, the bident would react and also turn red. Although Ren rarely gets Ares' blessing at all, he decided to name it Red Winter due to it.

Grian and Joel have the most concerning weapon names as they don't stick to one, the same way they don't stick to the same weapons everytime. It's like if you ask your friend what their wifi password is and they tell you the most concerning password like: 12345678timmysucks.

But Grian, at one point, just had a dagger he called I Miss Mumbo and Mumbo would have to literally sit through an entire conversation of Grian trying to talk about upgrades on his weapons with "I Miss Mumbo" coming up every 10 words. Mumbo confiscated it for his sanity, not that it stopped Grian from going "give me back I Miss Mumbo!"

Iskall barely fights but his weird chosen weapon is a pickaxe called Diorite Destroyer.

Pearl has a silver bow inherited from the Hunters named Crescent, in reference to how she got the bow but also because of how the bow was shaped.

Stress has a crystal shield she named Spotlight that she uses to reflect light and blind enemies.

Skizz uses an enchanted curved double sided sword that could be used as a bow. He named it the Silencer since his favorite activity with his weapon is shooting at people and going "Quiet you!"

[squaredbean]

My fake life series teams that no one wants to hear about but I’m posting about anyway

BigDoubleBs: (Bdubs, BigB)

They theme themselves entirely around the letter B. Their logo is a backwards B next to a regular B. They go around spreading lies and rumours and cause general confusion amongst all their peers. The B stands for Bullshit but they can’t explicitly say it and it gets censored multiple times. Bdubs is mostly just matching BigB’s casual chaotic energy but he’s not-so-secretly super stressed out all the time. BigB is oblivious to this and continues to unknowingly make Bdubs’ life hell. Bdubs is consistently loyal but every time he is left alone with someone who isn’t BigB he breaks down. People keep pointing out that he could just leave BigB but Bdubs is vehemently against this. BigB could not care less whether he stays or goes but is glad for the company.

GUESS AKA GESS: (Gem, Etho, Skizz, Scar)

A desperate attempt to make the team name an acronym (at Skizz’s request) themes them all around quiz masters. Everyone changes their skin to have a mask (except Etho) with a different comedy/tragedy-esque face on it. Several names are tried before they land on GESS (Gem immediately shot-down SEGS and EGSS). They run out of questions to ask very fast and Gem is the only competent member of their team because Etho makes it his personal mission to antagonise Skizz and Scar for no reason at all. Etho convinces Scar to kill Skizz and break his heart, Gem kills Etho for being annoying. (fun fact I wrote this one before the trivia bot episode lmaooo)

Team LIT: (Lizzie, Impulse, Tango)

They go all-out on the party theme, throw several parties (most of which end horrifically (“why do we keep coming back to these?! they never go well!” -Grian, probably)) and Lizzie claims to have trauma from her failed secret life party. Joel attends every party and doesn’t die at any of them. Impulse and Tango try to redstone their way into murdering people during the parties - they do, but they also murder themselves and Lizzie several times. They are consistently pathetic for most of the season, except Tango and Lizzie get eliminated very early on and Impulse snaps, kills so many people as a red and wins the season.

The Gentlemen: (Scott, Mumbo, Joel, Jimmy)

These four find themselves hanging out on the first session and make a bit of themselves doing posh English accents, which turns into a season-long ordeal. They all change into suits (except Mumbo who is already wearing a suit) and hate team LIT with a burning passion because they are “uncouth savages”. At some point it turns into Scott, Joel, and Mumbo all fighting over Jimmy’s attention. Mumbo doesn’t exactly know why they’re fighting over Jimmy but he’s too deep in the “yes, and” to back out now. Joel and Scott very amicably hate each other and keep making passive-aggressive jibes at each other. Jimmy quite honestly just enjoys the attention.

Nightstalkers: (Pearl, Martyn, Grian)

They keep to the shadows. They become one with the night. All three of them are shockingly good at sneaking and become thieves/ninjas. Martyn does a Batman voice until he can’t stand to do it anymore. Pearl just likes to giggle behind people. Grian mostly just likes to mess with Jimmy and Scar. The three of them start to do black market trading. They try to be allies with everyone but by the end of the season everyone kind of hates them. Grian is once again the last of his teammates standing.

God Help Us: (Cleo, Ren)

Cleo defends Ren from a horde of zombies night one and naturally Ren declares them bonded for life (“or at least until the season ends, I guess”). Ren feels he is indebted to Cleo and spends the whole season throwing himself in front of them as a meat shield. He dies first. Cleo joins up with the Nightstalkers. Everyone offers condolences to Cleo even before Ren dies because they spend the season just Going Through It. Murphy’s Law slaps Cleo in the face so hard. She, Tango, and Impulse spend almost an entire episode crying to each other about the fact that things are just Not Good.

[nicecrumbart]

I'm pretty sure this question pops up every week on trafficblr but which teams do people want to see next series??

My personal wish, which I don't see many people seeing at all, is Grian and Scott because they are as similar as they are equally different (ones impulsive and the other calculating but both very lonely), and it's also someone who made the rules Vs someone who always tries to get around them SO I think it would be very funny. AND v likely narratively interesting tehe.

(Also first time Scotts teaming with someone who has already won so i'm interested if his martyring would stay the same (probably lbr))

Honourable mentions I just want to see bc it would be fun:

Lizzie and scar

Jimmy and gem /+ pearl

Martyn and gem

Lizzie and mumbo (this seems like a disaster... Yes pls)

Cleo and Jimmy

Cleo and Joel (...fire everywhere probably a bad idea)

Joel and Gem

Jimmy and ethos (literally a mystery of a duo I have no idea what would happen)

Any of these could be combined together or added to but it's easier to come up with duo ideas!

Also disclaimer just included people I see/watch the most so I've got the best idea in the dynamics, need to know more abt the others for more lists 💔

[tubbytarchia]

Honestly, the whole idea that "if you criticize scott you're homophobic" is so terribly problematic. Basically giving him blanket clearance to do anything or say anything and if you criticize it, well, you're just homophobic. I can't imagine that's a good mindset to have as a person, let alone to see someone having as an impressionable young person.

I'm sure scott is a lovely guy in person but seeing how he acts online, frequently as a holier-than-thou type character, and looking down at others, like saying he interrupted a canon event by preventing scar and jimmy from pairing, is just upsetting. I find myself as the same as character joel in the life series, rooting for his death.

Something else that has really irritated me in the life series is how often he gifts deaths to other people. He did it so much in limited life. He literally gave every one of his deaths in secret life to someone else. And he acted so smarmy about it, too, like "oh I am taking this precious life and graciously giving it to you because otherwise I might never die to anything".

I was really happy when most of scott's deaths in wild life happened out of his control, like yes you are exactly the same as everyone else. Stop trying to act otherwise. Anywise thanks for being open about criticism. I don't know if I ever thought about toxic positivity until I saw you talking about it!

Oh I have so many thoughts on Scott's self-sacrificial nature. The toxic positivity is much more prominent on twitter but does still rear its ugly head on tumblr too. Especially concerning Scott's character, which I agree with you on. Him giving up his lives is doubly interesting and in the same vein frustrating to me because half the time it doesn't necessarily even leave the recipient better off

Gem did not want to kill him in SL, but because he has a martyr complex, he made it happen anyway, disregarding Gem's hesitancy. I'm sorry but to me, in that moment he was thinking about himself first and Gem second, which is how I think he regards every single one of his sacrifices. Especially when you contrast that with the Mounders, where Pearl rooted for Bdubs (and Joel but mostly Bdubs) and suggested herself being killed for Bdubs once things got dicey, but it never coming to it. Pearl so deeply wanted for Bdubs to win, and Bdubs, although not very confident, wanted to as well for Pearl. There was never any pressure involved in that unlike Scott's last minute and frankly kind of random sacrifice. He wasn't that low on hearts and Gem would have stood a much better chance against Pearl and Scar with him by his side

In Wild Life, Pearl didn't feel good about taking Scott's life, and Scott basically said he was doing it to quell Pearl. Something also about the fact that Pearl wanted to decide how to do it, just as some remnant of control when she really didn't have any for almost the entirity of Wild Life

In Limited Life, Scott was ready to give up that life he'd promised Jimmy, but then used it to try and coax Jimmy into telling him he loved him. And Jimmy has had a few other people give up their lives for him, Bdubs out of selflessness and Ren out of a promise for an allyship. And yet the only sacrifice Jimmy has even referenced after the fact, is the one Joel had planned but didn't even succeed with. That holds more importance to Jimmy than Scott's sacrifice, which I think says something

And of course, Scott blowing himself up in Double Life. Because Pearl deserved the win more than he did, he says without giving Pearl much opportunity to speak, taking control of the ending that was supposed to belong to Pearl

It's all very interesting to analyse, his character is super intricate and unique in this sense, but it does unfortunately become more frustrating paired with his unchanging selective framing of events and putting down of other characters through no wrongdoing of their own etc

[justathingfromthebrainvoid]

Okay so Gem throughout Secret Life (and also the one episode in Limited Life) has been so fascinating for several reasons. (hello i'm back, yes this is the brain rotates the gem post, welcome.)

so first off everyone is fairly Aware of her pvp prowess, GeminiSlay is a name they know. So for the most part, no one tries to fight her. She's brought down by fighting blazes & an enderman, the red horde going after everyone (them fighting back) and eventually Scar's bow, and then by and large Grian's tnt minecarts before Pearl and Scar together kill her in a 2 v 1 fight (that for the 1st part mostly-ish bows, something she isn't quite as good at). People talk about how they don't want to fight Gem. Not unless they have to.

This affords her a level of safety. If they're scared of fighting you, they don't go after you.

And then she's the New person. She's the only New Person. She's cheery and happy even as she goes on her murdering sprees. Even Lizzie and Mumbo, not back since Last Life, have a different edge to them and then they're out so quickly they don't reach the line where the server goes into murder and betrayal. Cleo says it in the last session: Gem doesn't know what is about to happen.

And she doesn't. Not in the way everyone else does. It is a murder game, and Gem treats it as such, but she doesn't get the weight of what happens in those last sessions.

She loses her first life and is mildly bloodthirsty, she opens the end, sends in greens in hopes of getting more yellows, she gets a task that says kill every non red at least once and does so without hesitance, she turns red, succeeds 5 red tasks in her next episode and gets her two teammates to sacrifice themselves to her along with killing Pearl, and she smiles throughout the entire thing.

When the last session starts she's happy, ready to go out and murder some more people, and sure it's a bit "erie" and "quiet", but she's having a great time on the murder camel, looking for Skizz, figuring out how they can kill Etho/Cleo/Grian.

The other players Know what's about to happen, and she doesn't. Scott stays with her almost the entire episode. He knows what's going to happen. He already decided how he's going to die.

And then they come back from the Nether and Gem loses about 30 of her hearts, she panics slightly and a bit more when she finds Grian behind a wall (alone and down a bunch of hearts her first thought is run), but she goes back to the fight, kills Grian herself, and, oh, it's only them and the mounders left, time for the last battle apparently. She tries getting her murder buddy on their side again but Pearl refuses and it's not like she's leaving the Scotts, so they shoot arrows and run around the server a bit before retreating up the stairs back to their base. Pearl shoots her, Impulse dies, and Gem is starting to think they are going to as well (it's fine, that's what the game's about), but Bdubs and Joel are killed pretty easily and then she and Scott are running again (run, shoot, run again, why'd it have to be a bow fight?), there's a close call with Scar (it's fine, she gets away, where's Scott though?).

But I don't think she really gets it yet. Not until she joins back up with Scott and the first thing he says is "I need you to kill me. I've got 2.5 hearts, you need to kill me." And Scott throws items at her, food and an end crystal, and takes off his armour and Pearl and Scar aren't far behind...

Gem doesn't even get time to process. Pearl and Scar weren't far behind. She runs and fights and holds her own even in a 2v1, but it doesn't matter.

Gem is the new person. And she makes it all the way to 3rd, she's proud of that, should be proud of that. But she only thought of it as a fun murder game right up until Scott died. Sacrificed himself for her.

[ivys-garden]

Life Series Session Recap and Alliance Report: Session 5.

I can't believe they added mettaton to the life series.

Another week means more chaos in the block. This session has the wild card of… morally dubious trivia robots falling for the sky? OK?

It did mean we got more Life Series Oli and we got to find out how little our idiots actually know about their own series. So that's something

But hey lots of stuff that will affect the future of the season happens here, so let's stop dilly dallying and get to it.

The Final Girls (Cleo, Scott, Pearl, Impulse… Bigb!?)

Apparently Scott's desire to keep the team together is stronger than we thought, as despite having no good reason to, he allows Bigb to come back into the crew. Bigb does later try and fail to abandon them for Renwood, but it's the thought that counts.

Also established in the opening to this session, Scott is fully enabling whatever Pearl wants to do… provided what she wants to do is not hide a death pit from him.

No, what Pearl wants to do is murder people, and she has plenty of options since everyone wants to antagonise the girls this session. First Mumbo shows up to mace Cleo in the face, then Gem lures Cleo into a death trap & then Martyn explodes everyone but Pearl.

Naturally Cleo wants to get even with these pesky killers, and when Cleo wants to get even the flames are soon to come. Gem's Barn and Martyn's home are burnt by Cleo & Scott, and yet somehow everyone ends up chilling in the end, with everyone actually agreeing that they're even and that they should stop trying to kill each other. So yeah, no harm, no foul….

Except Ren, he got his house burnt down for no reason.

On the topic of revenge on martyn, Pearl tries to avenge her team by putting Martyns crystal trap back on him… only to blow herself up in the process. What follows might be Pearl's most pathetic showing in the life series as she repeatedly fails to trap Gem or kill Lizzie, still ending the session in red. Scott and his martyr complex come through in the end though and Scott gives one of his life's back to Pearl in a way that mirrors the powdered snow torture or yesteryear, only much wetter.

Oh yeah Impulse was here too. He was trap building’, he was bot nappin’, he was beepin’ N’ boopin’, and he gave up a Trident to acquire a new member… we'll talk about that washout later

Also congrats on Bigb finally getting diamonds, took you long enough.

Also also congrats on Cleo for getting the most difficult question in Trivia correct!... it was 50% a guess and they had help but shhh

The Family. (Gem & Joel)

Yeah I'm calling them the family now. Not because that's a good name, but because while Joel continues to be fast, Gem is no longer furious.

Yes, in this episode the Gals-Fam drama begins to sorta maybe kinda possibly come to a close. It starts with Gem admitting the drama was made up for the sake of having drama and being funny, something most of us guessed since if you think about the drama for more than five seconds you realise how silly and ultimately inconsequential it actually is.

The real amend making starts where all amends are made, in the smouldering remains of your home after the prison you lured into a trap burns it to the ground. Yes if they had not been interrupted by exploding, Gem and the Gals would have called each other even right here. Luckily Gem gets another chance to do this later as Pearl failing a task and having her mouth removed stops her from trying to eat Gem alive for long enough for the two of them to have a chat. In this chat that Pearl has literally no say in, it is agreed that once the two of them go red, they'll “have some fun”. Sp yeah, in the future we are looking at meminiun at a temporary alliance between Pearl & Gem.

(Also Gem and Joel try to get Pearl to betray Scott, which marks the second time this has happen this season)

In other stuff Gem builds possibly the worst tower I've ever seen. So I'm happy Cleo burnt that down. Of more consequence she also builds their very own Creeper spawner. Very dangerous in the hands of Joel.

Speaking of Joel he has a rollercoaster this session. He has many notable successes such as creating two hidden cow spawners, a chicken farm and braving the never to get Potion ingredients. But he also got his ugly car exploded by Skizz and got smashed and banged by Tango.

He did manage a three block jump over Etho's head though so I'd say this was his best session of the entire life series.

Renwood (Martyn & Ren)

Rambert last session when I said Scott probably regrets being teamed with 3 little chaos goblins? Yeah translate that to Ren this session. Martyn is an absolute menace and there is no way Ren will achieve his goal of “extinguishing the evil within this man”. Martyn is tricking folks into messing up Trivia, he's killing Gem with creepers despite being allied, he's killing The Gals right after seeing Cleo burn down Gems entire base, he might be the most chaotic one here.

That isn't to say Martyn doesn't get his narrative comeuppance, he gets ravaged off his own base and exploded by Pearl, but Ren still gets a lot of bad vibes his way due to Martyns actions. At least he can still rely on Jimmy to be his friend and not burn his house down on accident.

Speaking of burning, good luck doing that now. The mound has officially been flattened, no longer teh Ren Mound it is now In-The-Little-Lake and has been flooded with water in a rare showcase of a Ren plan working and being a big brain move overall.

However, while creating the lake, the most important discovery was made

THEY FOUND THAT STUPID HORSE! WOOOOOOOOO

anyway.

The Tuff Guys (Tango, Bdubs & …Etho?)

Bdubs starts the episode being objectively wrong about a game he's played for decades.

Due to his bad leadership last session, Etho takes over and immediately starts try harding, requiring everyone to get stacks of food, iron, the souls of the damned and probably other stiff to tbh I wasn't listening. Luckily neither were Bdubs or Tango so we're good

Speaking of Tango, despite getting of to a rock start of sucking and being pathetic, he does manage to get two pretty impressive kills on Joel, once with a mace and another with creepers. He also manages to stick a snail on Skizz by botnapping him while he was distracted by his, Impy and Pearls robot voice. He failed every other single trap he tried but it's something.

Now, more important horse news, Bdubs got his!... Etho immediately killed it since it was better than his. But bdubs got a new one! He needed 3 people to help him on it since he acquired the big curse at the time but he got the horse!

While he wasn't being a try hard, horse killer, or stunt ramp, Etho was off performing a very important task, Betrayal! But is it betrayal if they openly admit they won't help you or share their stuff? Yep Etho has made moves to leave the Tuff Guys, being the second member to do so, only with more success than bdubs. So, did he go off to his family? Nope. He went off to become one of the Final Girls. Etho officially joins that team and all it cost them was a Trident. How will this go over with the Family and the Tuff Guys? Who knows. That's the growth thing about the life series: everything is stupid and nothing is predictable, so don't worry!

The Bamboozelers (Jimmy, Scar, Lizzie)

Everyone says these 3 are doomed… including me I said that. But we all are wrong, these 3 are being extremely big brained and brave.

Let's start with Lizzie, she helps the team come up with a safety code word to bring people back up the mountain. She braves the Nether. She builds an ender porter to bring people to Bam Mountain safely & she survives several attempts on her life, including one from Pearl. She only falls into two traps, being killed by Skizz and having her Bot hidden resulting in the return of her snail. She also had one failed plan, a Drowned spawner plan to get Trident Drowned to kill people for Jimmy, but not a bad showing.

It's a toss up between Gem, Joel and Impulse for who will win, but I'm gonna go all in and sat Lizzie wins, just because I want her too.

Then there's Scar who makes some great diplomacy plays. Despite a rocky start to their relationship that might have actually caused the desertduo side of tumblr to explode, Scar and Grian are able to work out a peace deal between them, Scar gets a mace and in exchange they don't kill each other. Scar gets a lot more than just a mace though, he gets what he's always wanted: Friendship.

He also manages to get the Enchanter back and finds a great hiding spot for it. On top of this Scar also strengthens pre existing alliances with Gem, Martyn and Skizz, even helping Skizz in a Fast Na Furious style boat race to reclaim his out bot.

OK, Jimmy… yeah tbh Jimmy kinda underperformed compared to last session. He got toured by trivia bot, died to the ravager instead of checking his hotbar for his pearls, failed repeatedly to kill Scott and also killed himself in Impulse's lava trap. He got no kills this session and all his traps failed. He did blow a massive hole in the side of the Final Girl's tower for no reason tho.

Gem, seeing this utter failure tried to help Jimmy kill Scott, only for him to sacrifice himself to Pearl. Now Jimmy is in the hard possession of killing his family or his teammate. But hey, as long as he isn't first out, he's won

And on that note…

The Spanners (Grian & Skizz.)

…Let's start with skizz. He was really good! He got a good kill on Lizzie and one on Bigb too. Bigb wasn't Dark green but he's certainly got the spirit. He should also be kept away from the Bam Lands from now on, he gets spotted there way too easily. Scar isn't even that observant, it's kinda embarrassing.

Skizz does also do some alliance work, vowing never to kill Lizzie again due to how much he hates doing it. Lizzie repays him by literally babying him and dumping him on Ren.

Then there's Grian, he and Mumbo were able to collaborate revenge on Scar, even though he was too big and Mumbo couldn't speak. They buried Scars Bot Super low and neither he now Ren could find it.

And than, somehow, eSCARgot returned.

Feeling bad for an incredibly cheap kill, Grian did work with Scar to set aside there differences and create an alliance. Now with revenge off the agenda, all that was left was getting Mumbo a life.

Grian built a great tower, and within it built two super speedy tnt launchers. These were incredible basketballs for destroying the tower bdubs spent all session building, but in terms of netting kills for Mumbo… not very good.

Mumbo fell off that tower trying to get a kill.

Mumbo, desperate for a kill, begged Gem to die.

And when Gem was walking down the stairs with Jimmy, Mumbo got too desperate.

Mumbo died in a machine made to save him. Mumbo died in front of grian. Mumbo died and everybody just watched. Hell, Jimmy celebrated. He laughed. Because now there was no denying the curse was broken.

Skizz will mourn all of the next session. Grian will not. He will be consumed by the Dark rage within him. Jimmy should watch his back…

Kinda like Mumbo should have watched his back for that minecart, Amiright?

[imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer]

Respawn Denied Species Worldbuilding (Species Building? idk)

Since a lot of these guys have some headcanons of mine, I figured I'd make it all into a post so yall could see what I'm talking about when I mention the species :)

Blaze-Borns (Tango Tek)

Pretty standard by fandom standards. Fire hair and fire resistance. Only lore that's specific to my au is that their magic fire is very resistent to outside magic, and it'll literally just burn it out of a blaze's body.

Syrens (Jimmy and Lizzie)

They have legs okay. Essentially humans with some scales and fins (depends on the syren. Jimmy had fins around his ears, Lizzie has them on her ears and her arms. And of course Jimmy's are cod scales and Lizzie's are blue.) Syrens in this world have deadly singing that, unlike irl myths, kill just by hearing, instead of by luring. Unfortunately, they also kill the syrens who sing it. This has led to some natural selection which means Respawners are more common in syrens.

Tanukis (Joel)

(yes I got inspiration from melloz heist shut up /lh). These guys are raccoon dogs like in the Japanese myths, however I have ascribed many of my own headcanons to this world's tanukis. First of all, theyre shapeshifters. Technically their true form is a raccoon, but these guys often have a most comfortable form they spend most their time in. For instance, Joel's is his human form which has a raccoon tail and ears. Tanukis are known for being cheeky buggers. In my au, they can only turn into things of the animal kingdom, and only have one form per species. This is why Joel is short, despite wishing he was tall.

Shapeshifters (Mumbo Jumbo)

You'd think this is similar to Tanukis, wouldn't you? (this is an actual dilemma I had which forced me to come up with differences lol) So, unlike tanukis, Shapeshifters can turn into inanimate objects as well. They also have the ability to change their form within a species. So if Mumbo wanted to be taller, he could be. He could also be a teapot, or a bridge, or a tree, or a clock, or you get the idea.

Guardian-Borns (Scott and Martyn)

These guys are quite similar to syrens, but also not. For one, no deadly singing. They are also more accoustemed to deeper, colder waters, while syrens prefer shallower, warmer waters. They are very protective and driven, and are excellent fighters, on land and in water. They also have to be in water more often, while syrens can go a long time.

Shades (Etho and Cub)

This is what yall voted for, a headcanon that I am not even kidding when I say I made it up in 20 minutes. Essentially, a Shade is a person decended from Phantoms. They're usually nocturnal, but don't have to be. They have white hair like the underside of a phantom, and green blood (Why does Cub not have white hair, I hear you ask? Well, he's being dramatic. He died it). The longer it's been since you've slept, the more it hurts to get punched by one of these guys (this means if you havent slept in ages, Etho can oneshot you into next week).

Centaurs (Gem)

Pretty standard as centaur headcanons go. Expert fighters, very robust and hard to kill. Can have different animal legs, Gem's is a deer, but it's not really explored in my au. Also she has a *wicked* kick.

Whatever the fuck is going on with Cleo

Cleo's technically a human, but she has this weird thing where each time they die a part of themself dies, essentially slowly turning them into a zombie. She can detach those parts of herself, and it makes Mumbo throw up lol.

Non-notable species/people

these guys have basic headcanons/ don't show up in this particular story, but may in future.

Grian: avian (surely I don't need to explain it to you, its the most basic headcanon there is)

Scar: Vex

Bdubs: plant guy. I honestly don't even know whats happened there, he's just plants.

Ren: Dog man (?) (also not relevant in this part of the au, along with martyn)

Skizz: angel

Impulse: demon

BigB: creaking, not relevant in this part of the au

and of course, the fic itself.

[t4t4tclethian]

The moment Joel realizes he has a crush on xB is, objectively, quite a funny one. He’d almost certainly be laughing about it if it had been anyone else. As it is, though, he’s hopping mad, extremely indignant, and deeply embarrassed about the whole thing. Who ever heard of a hitman falling for their mark? (Well, a lot of people have- it’s a whole romance cliche for a reason. But it wasn’t supposed to actually happen!)

(ao3 link)

————————————————

It had all started a few days earlier, when Joel had been hanging out with the other Magical Mountaineers in the breakroom. Gem and Impulse were poring over some papers together, Skizz was on a phone call in the corner, Mumbo was politely watching as Scar fumbled through some magic tricks, and Grian was sitting on the couch with Joel, listening to him rant about his failures at killing xB (he’d drawn the short straw). Everything was normal.

And then, when Joel paused his tirade to take a breath, Grian said those fatal words. “From the way you talk about this guy, Joel, it’s almost like you’ve got a crush on the mark!”

Which was ridiculous, of course! He does blummin’ not, thank you! His relationship with xB was a perfectly platonic contract killing, and Joel is a professional! He knows better than to fall for his target, and he indignantly tells Grian as much.

But, of course, Grian is Grian, and the second he senses he’s touched a nerve he doubles down. And so he did.

“Contract killing? Give me a break, Joel! Your contract on this guy expired ages ago, and you’re not the type to work for free.” Grian’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued to needle at Joel. “Admit it, there’s something else going on here, isn’t there?”

Joel spluttered, and took a deep breath as he glanced around the room. Fuck. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen in on him and Grian now. He had to say something to throw them off or he would never be able to live this conversation down.

“My contract might be done, but unlike some people I finish the things I start, thank you very much!”

Grian squawked in indignation, and as he did so the others chuckled and turned back to their own conversations, unfounded accusations of romance forgotten. Grian’s tendency to leave things unfinished was well-known, and something that every assassin at Magic Mountain had teased him over many times.

But that thought refused to leave his brain. It had wiggled its way in like a worm. Did he have a crush on xB? Is that why he kept coming back when any sane person would’ve just given it up already? And the answer, of course, is no. All of Joel’s actions here have perfectly reasonable and professional explanations.

————————————————————

Joel waits patiently on the rooftop across from Horse Head Farmer’s Market (which, despite the name, is actually a grocery store/money laundering scheme, not a farmer’s market), rifle at the ready, just as he has been for the past three and a half hours. You can’t rush a good sniping, after all, and xB’s schedule varies enough that Joel’s never quite sure when he’ll head out for lunch. (He’s pretty sure xB has done this specifically to spite Joel- the guy’s obsessed with him.)

Yes! Finally! xB steps out of the store, starts walking down the street, and- turns to look at Joel’s rooftop, makes direct eye contact with him, and gives him a friendly little wave, the infuriatingly sincere kind that makes Joel want to kill him even more. Dammit. He’s been caught. Also, wow, even from here Joel is a little wowed by how blue xB’s eyes are. Or maybe he’s just remembering how they look, because there’s no way Joel can actually see his eyes from here. They are definitely a very nice blue, though, and oh, huh, Joel realizes that Lizzie has blue eyes, too. Maybe he’s got a thing for blue-eyed people, and- OH SHIT RIGHT HE’S KILLING THIS GUY.

Joel fires, because even if he’s been discovered a vantage point is still a vantage point. Of course, xB somehow manages to not be in the bullet’s path, just like he always does, and then he gives Joel a disapproving look, like he’s actually disappointed Joel didn’t do a better job at trying to kill him.

God, he’s so cute, Joel’s brain has the audacity to think, like it’s trying to add insult to insult to injury. To Joel’s horror, he realizes in this moment that he’s had dozens, maybe even hundreds of thoughts like this, that just slipped through the cracks and went unnoticed.

Then, xB smiles at him again before heading on his way, and Joel falls off of the rooftop. He has time to think, Oh, I’m gonna kill Grian, as he plummets towards the ground. And then, everything goes dark, and he dies.

[watarfallar]

Who's everyone's favourite team-up this season? Anyways, have more incorrect quotes in preparation for the chaos in session 3 tomorrow!

Cleo, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice Scott, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

Lizzie: Yeah I'm LGBT. Lizzie: cuLt leader. Lizzie: God hates me personally. Lizzie: cowBoy hat. Lizzie: *sniffles* Trying my best.

Etho: Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?” Bdubs: I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

Ren: What's worse than a heartbreak? Joel: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Skizz: Waking up in the morning. BigB: Waking up.

Joel: That's not funny. Lizzie: I thought it was funny. Joel: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

Gem: Play to your strengths. Impulse: I haven’t got any!

Scott: You know, Pearl, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. Pearl: ... Pearl: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

Mumbo: You're not my friend anymore. BigB: I was your friend?

Pearl: I haven't seen Gem and Tango for fifteen minutes now. *Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Gem and Tango running after it in a panic. Pearl doesn't look outside at all.* Pearl: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

Cleo: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? Ren: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know. Cleo: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Cleo: I want a bf. Scott: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

Mumbo: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. Skizz: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? Mumbo: NO-

Jimmy: It is 6:09 . Jimmy: I am wondering why I’m still alive. Jimmy: Send Wendy’s. Scott: The whole restaurant?!

Grian: What is this!? Etho: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend. Grian: Ow! Make it stop! Etho: Surrender to your kindness, Grian. It’s nice to be nice. Grian: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

Cleo, to Joel: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Scar: If I didn't know better, Grian, I'd say you were scared. Grian: Heh, scared? *absolute silence* Grian: DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

Grian: What are you up to today? Mumbo: Nothing. Grian: But you did that yesterday! Mumbo:I wasn’t finished.

Scott: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like- Scott, to Pearl: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual. Ren, to Impulse: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire. Scar: There are two types of people.

BigB: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED! BigB: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY! Cleo: BigB just threw a tantrum about a chair. Cleo: I just won BigB Tantrum Bingo.

Jimmy, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Ren: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Ren: Here you go. Jimmy: Ren: Joel: Why am I here?

Jimmy: What are the hardest things to say? Grian: I was wrong. Martyn: I need help. Skizz: Worcestershire sauce.

Scar: Last night I found out Bdubs is a sleep talker. Cleo: Oh, really? Scar: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

Things i would find hilarious for the next life series:

Scott and lizzie team up in the most hetero-coded alliance

Joel manage to kill Scott on his red life, but gets eliminated by doing so

Jimmy somehow get top 5

Bdubs just keeps coming back to cleo insisting she's "mom" he will never let the bit die

Cub and false are here, they immediatly become worse enemies

Ren doesn't intercat at all with martyn because he manage to be out by episode 3

Ethoslab, cub and Tango team, they just do crazy redstone trap that never works, and also a minigame way too advanced for a life series

There's a pale garden in the map, scar decides it would be the best place to build his base, yes the creakings stays

Grian and Gem team up but they hate each-other

The boogyeman is back, somehow bigB gets it almost everytime

The enchanter is in a trial chamber, Scar gets it after 12 minutes of screen time

Ren and Scott have an extremly long interaction where they just makes innuendo

BigB's POV is the first posted, the first 5 minutes of his video is just him gaslighting his audience into thinking he got on hermitcraft

.