#why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three

[themathomhouse]

this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.

can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.

but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!

it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.

it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

casual anon checkup how you doin

Let’s see, well we just breached 4am, and the sense of urgency to complete some school work has finally kicked in. I got my laptop propped up on the kitchen counter, and I just finished making some houseblend coffee that I loaded with milo powder for “health” purposes. Gotta finish up this AP Stat quiz while pretending I have some semblance of what the hell is going on in the class that I don’t pay attention to. I got my fancy bluetooth headphones that I connect with the wire anyway because I don’t like using up the battery, and I’ve had this acoustic cover of Solitary Warrior Revali looped for a few minutes now--I need those soft vibes to distract me from my thoughts about how the only reason I’ve been so sluggish with my work overall is probably due to years of ingrained perfectionism and inability to adapt my standards to the currently circumstances of the world along with my slightly declining mental health so you know--music’s nice. 

Oh! And my dad got me this electric coaster (as pretentious as that sounds, I know. Leave me and my not-cold drinks alone ok) for the holidays and it matches with my favourite mug that I’m drinking from right now so, it’s the little things :3 Plus, not to derail myself from my school life intentionally, I’ve been working on this sheet music for one of my songs for a few weeks now and it’s starting to actually sounds pretty decent so yaay!! Probably won’t share it for a long time though...I’ve really been only working on it on and off again when I have “free time” [which may or may not just be my online class gym period hey you can’t prove anything to the cops]

Uhhh what else can I shove in here...”How you doin” pfft, I don’t really know how to make this ask funny or entertaining. Well I’ve nearly finished up this zine piece about the Royal Tech Lab so that’s fun (shameless plug for the Memorabillia Zine) aaand, I’m picking my kalimba again to learn Mipha’s theme. About time, cause I have to record shit for the [REDACTED] project I’m working on >:) heh. Oh fucking SHIT now that I think about it I have like three different secret projects I’m working on huh...haven’t even finish the script for that damn au...OK what it, right, “how am I doing” well, I’m doing everything and nothing currently, if that makes any sense. Your possible regrets about sending this to me aside, it feels good to just lay everything on a plate, shit out a post, and then never talk or acknowledge it ever again. It’s like birds, you know how they just take a ten pound shit in the mourning and never look back? (That way they don’t need to go during the rest of the day) That’s what this is, just a giant load of bullshit that I’m gonna set out at 5am and then never look at again. 

You know as unhealthy as it sounds I really do dedicate a lot of time to this blog and this fandom. I mean sure not all of it (arguably any of it) is productive, but hey it’s something. The fuck else am I gonna do with my time...you wake up, you slam your keyboard awake to show up to online class, you take a nap, you spend a few hours keeping up the cishetallo gifted student appearance to your parents and then spend the rest of your time finding enough serotonin on the internet to make your brain work. Hell if I’ve talked to another human being in real life all year. Even my parents just kinda talk about the news and “how was class” during dinner which lasts like 10 minutes. My dad just kinda pisses off to work as soon as breakfast is made, and my mom just kinda stays in her office until everyone’s back and she makes dinner. Wait, that’s a lie, she does talk to me on Sunday mornings when she informs me of how I’ve ruined her day before church. So you know I do prefer it that way anyhow, why the hell would I want to talk with them when I got perfectly entertaining internet companions. What’s a “what scholarship programs are you doing?” to a *checks notifications*, “why are Rito fingers like that if they molt to they just lose the ability to--” god fucking dammit...

So! What were we saying--how am I doing? Welp. Guess it’s up for interpretation cause I sure as hell don’t know the answer to that. The hell would you do with the answer anyway. Pity points, praise points? I don’t particularly care for either. God I just realized you introduced yourself as “casual anon,” HA....apologies this is the opposite of casual isn’t it. Or, well maybe it isn’t. I’m the one just having a nice little chitchat with myself as I sip through my mug o’ caffeine. I might have to add a keep reading bar to this so I don’t blog up the dash, but also that would be ironically humorous to see for such a stupidly small question huh. Idk, contrary to popular belief I don’t have a spine so I’m probably not gonna unload all this shit on my followers like that out of the blue. Hell I’d be surprised if I actually posted this. Then again...5am and vibin with bad decision making.....plus the sentiment of putting something out to be seen is always nice.

You ever watch Bojack Horseman? Fantastic show, it’s just on a whole ‘nother level when it comes to writing. And yeah, I probably should have been watching it in the first place, BUT.............yeah ok there’s real excuse I probably shouldn’t be watching it/have watched it. But there’s this one episode in Season 4 I think? It’s where Bojack gives a eulogy for his mother’s funeral and the entire episode is just that, it’s just this giant monologue of him giving his eulogy. And that episode always facinated me because it is probably the most interesting episode in the entire show and one of my favourites, and like...how did they do that?? How did they make twenty minutes of talking so engaging and entertaining? I mean, yeah, I could probably analyze the pacing and structure to find the answer, and hell if I’ve watch my share of youtube video essays on the subject. But like, just the entire concept that someone had the idea to make 20 minutes of talking an entire episode....that’s just insane (forgive the language). 

It’s one thing to want to talk about yourself for a long time and be interesting, but to pour all kinds of energy to make some made-up fictional character talk about THEMselves for a long period of time...is that sad? Or maybe it’s respectable. /to make an audience care more about something that’s not real rather than you. Well, perhaps that’s selfish thinking. 

Oh! You know what, I just got this super nice message from someone the other day about a Raybands giveaway. Obviously, I’m not in the need for sunglasses during this day and age so I kindly declined and ignore the offer, but it got me thinking: how liked to you have to be in order to sway someone to clicking a random link. Like I’m talking about your friends or something, but like, if you opened your door oneday and Mr. Rogers was there selling clementines, would you buy them? Or if Lin Manuel Miranda offered you a vaccum, would you buy it? What’s the standard of known niceness that constitutes to you complying with what they’re asking? I sure would like to know....not for manipulation purposes but just for...idk, just having that tangibility of something. 

Ah well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw how am i doing. Well I’ll tell you what I’m doing, I’m procrastinating. Procrastinating on work and wips and conversations and dilemmas. You don’t fail all the shots you don’t take afterall *wink wink* aaand for legal reasons that was a joke. Idk, you tell me how I’m doing, fuck if I know. According to this empty mug, I’m doing well, but I also will be doing a piss in the bathroom probably.

[my-love-peterp]

Mistaken Chapter One

Word Count: 2103 THERE ARE NO ENDGAME SPOILERS, THIS IS A DELAYED UPLOAD FROM AO3

Fic Summary: Peter Parker has been given the responsibility of bringing in a new recruit. Now, as an adult, he realizes that none of the trashy YA novels he read in high school could have prepared him for this. There was a storm on the horizon, and all they could do from the Tower is watch.

Chapter Summary: A new recruit is brought into the fold and is more than a handful.

Warnings: language, mentions of injury, non-graphic violence (brief)

A/N:  You may have seen me over @fabtasticass which is my main blog. So this is my first fanfic and it's going to be a big one. It is a Soulmates AU but not in the traditional way. That won't show up until later chapters. I'm going to try to keep endgame a secret the best I can. I have some very angsty ups and downs planned but I'm trying to hold back. So I’ll tag each chapter with what pairing might be in that chapter in the official Tumblr tags but never at the beginning.

I ran, dodging rats, and clumps of unidentified garbage that lay literal feet from a plethora of garbage cans and dumpsters. God, I hated this city.

I especially hated this city in the rain, dashing through back alleys of Queens with all of my belongings in tow.

Rolling in and out of huge asphalt craters, my suitcases jostled my already pained arm. It had only been three or so hours since I’d reset the dislocated joint against my fire escape.

Blood dripped from a split along my hairline, mingling with sweat and city rainwater. At this point, I felt like a drowned cat and probably smelled like a wet dog. Super, awesomely attractive, right?

Bracing myself against the wall of the nearest building, I pulled a flask out of the interior pocket of my jacket and took a swig. The flask was light pink with the words “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” emblazoned on the side. It filled me with a dark sense of glee and irony every time I used it. I nicked it from one of those chain party supply stores a few months back, which I supposed could be my version of fun.

The whiskey burned as it went down but as it hit my stomach it helped to warm my rain-soaked bones.

I began moving again. As I wove in and out of the misshapen piles in the alleyway, I felt the hair prickle on the back of my neck. It felt like I had a curious pair of eyes, tracking my every move and staring me down. I ignored my most basic instinct to turn around and investigate and my training kicked in instead. My eyes swept the alleyway ahead of me, monitoring the shadows, ears open and head down. I checked every shiny surface to see the reflection behind me. Empty alleyways are all that I was shown. So I shoved aside my intrusive paranoia and started whistling tunelessly as I moved. I’d felt that prickle for days and nothing had come of it.

In front of me, business lights filtered through the rain, casting a glow over the stone walls. Wet, sputtering and a little drunk, it only made sense that I was the target of some less friendly men who had stationed themselves outside of a local dive bar. They jeered and reached out at me. “Piss off you assholes, I’m not in the mood.”

Their demented shouts ranged from demands that I take off my clothes, false coos asking me if I needed their help to warm up and jokes about them being so good in bed women were jumping at the chance and willing to move in with them immediately to lock it down.

The rain got harder as I clenched my fist, glaring daggers at them and trying to subtly move faster. Everything about my body language screamed 'don't fuck with me', but it's hard to be intimidating when you're a generous 5'3. They advanced anyways and with a woosh, they all got tossed back into the brick wall, hard. The crack of a few skulls echoed down the empty alley, interrupted only by their groans as a few immediately came to.

The tingling on the back of my neck got more intense, this time joined by a fuzzy feeling alarm in the back of my brain. I hustled along, eager to get the hell out of Queens. I hadn't taken more than three steps when I heard him. “Woah, what was that? I webbed up those guys back there, they won't be able to move for a few hours. What was that though, can you like manipulate energy or is this outside the realm of earthly physics? Are you an alien? Or a mutant maybe? Or..."

Without looking up I sent another blast towards the overly excited voice and immediately heard an oomph followed by the sound of a body rushing towards the pavement. Or, rather, a dumpster.

“Hey not cool,” said the guy, poking his head up and out of the dumpster.

I groaned, immediately recognizing the mask, despite it being covered in what looked a lot like smashed avocado on the left side of the heroes head. Spider-Man.

Pushing my bags together, around my feet, I bound them to myself and alighted on the nearest rooftop, gently floating upward. I figured the enhanced cat was already out of the bag with the current company, so to speak. I ran along the flat roofs of the decrepit, abandoned buildings with still no destination in mind but out.

“Wait up, where are you going, stop! We're friends now right? It's rude to ignore your friends, and I'm the friendliest of friends, you know. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and all...” he babbled on lamely, his voice fading in and out as he swung between buildings, keeping up as I hopped from roof to roof.

“Buzz off buggy”, I grumbled before sending another shot his way.

“You’re really bad at paying attention to where I am, aren’t you” Spidey suddenly whispered in my ear. I shrieked and came to a halt, dropping my luggage next to me as I sat to dangle my feet off the ledge of whatever shitty building I was on now. As expected, that lanky ass fool sat down right next to me.

“So, where are you going, miss uh… strange power lady?”

“I don’t kno-” I cut myself off and looked at him strangely. “Wait, why are you even here?”

“Well funny story," he huffed out, looking over at me. His masked eyes contracted as he continued to just look at me in silence for several minutes. I was seconds away from physically shoving him off of the building. For someone who apparently couldn't keep his mouth shut when I wanted him to, he was as silent and one of those monks now when I actually wanted to hear his whiny voice. Then, just as I was about to snap, he lifted his chin and squared his shoulders.

"Have you ever heard of the Avengers?”

Like any normal person on the planet, I obviously had. I may not have been in New York while it was being leveled by aliens over a decade ago, but a person would have to be seriously deprived of outside stimuli to not know who the Avengers were.

Instead of speaking to the impertinent, entirely too perky Avenger at my side, I just glared, sending a message loud enough that even the most inept individual would comprehend me.

“Woah, woah, don’t shoot! You could be like, a really weird and reclusive alien for all I know at this point. The boss didn’t exactly give me all the details when he sent me out to trail you. I don’t even know your name, which tells me that we actually don’t know a whole lot about you…,” he trailed off his rambling as he finally realized I was now staring at him expectantly, waiting to get a word in edgewise.

“My name is Kaida, and I’m not a good person. Also, thanks for the invitation to join your little cult, but I’m going to have to pass.” I stood to leave and find shelter for tonight when all of a sudden a schnick sounded and webbing surrounded my foot, holding me in place.

That sneaky little son of a bitch.

“No can do, we’re going to talk this one out. Either you agree to come in and meet the team or you get to sit here all night and listen to me ramble about them and what ridiculously stupid things we’ve all been up to in the past few months. Your call… Kaida.” He said my name as though it could take form, leap up and bite him.

“Okay Spider, I see you want to play hardball. You take that mask off and I’ll come with you to ‘meet the team’ or whatever touchy-feely bullshit y’all are into over there. But I’m not agreeing without some kind of skin in the game other than my own.” I lifted my chin, triumphantly, secure in the knowledge that he would never reveal his identity to a complete stranger, especially while various factions of the government and private entities were trying to round up enhanced individuals.

Spidey scoffed. “That’s it? It’s not like I was going to leave it on once we got to the tower anyways so, here you go I guess,” and he ripped away his mask as though it didn’t faze him in the slightest.

He was… younger than I had expected. Cute, in a safe, boring schoolboy kind of way.

“What are you, twelve??” I all but shouted at him. There’s no way this kid was the real deal, a bona fide Avenger that had helped save numerous lives, my own included if you count what happened just a few years back.

“I’m twenty-two, thanks though. If I’m twelve, I’ve gotta say you’re a toddler. Granted, a toddler with wicked skills but it’s not like you’re even really an adult at this point, are you? Why aren’t you with your pare-.”

“For one thing, they’re dead. Secondly, I’m twenty but I guarantee you I’ve seen shit that you can’t really even comprehend. Even outside of all the crazy whack alien bullshit you all seem to be attracting. It really ages a person, or so I’ve heard.”

“Oh look at you, pulling the big bad ‘I’m so tough because I’m an orphan and my life wasn’t sunshine and roses’ act. Literally, everyone has bad shit happen to them. From what I’ve just seen and from what we’ve caught on security monitors, you’re wickedly talented and could actually use your powers to help others. Unless you’re too much of a coward, I know we do deal with ‘crazy whack aliens’ and all, but it shouldn’t be hard for a big kid like yourself, huh?”

I had half a mind to blow him off the roof right then and there. Rage swirled in the pit of my gut so violently, I might have vomited had I eaten at all in the past day or so. The wind picked up and began buffeting around the Spider guy and myself, throwing debris from decrepit roof and buildings towards us. All of the shrapnel conveniently avoided my person, but Spidey was dancing back and forth like a puppet on a string.

Deep breaths Kaida, deep breaths. We wouldn’t want another Wizard of Oz-esque incident. Again. I often found myself talking to myself in different perspectives to calm down. Anger, improperly channeled was a very dangerous thing for me, and honestly, I was being a brat just like he was. No need to level an entire city block just for this one intrusive, presumptuous asshat who dressed up like a fucking spider. I wasn’t about to tell him that though.

The wind died down almost immediately. Until it didn’t.

Not a minute later, the biggest bolt of lightning I’d ever seen struck a building a block or so away, no doubt short-circuiting every device plugged in at that residence. Two seconds later there was a solid thunk and next to Spider-Man loomed perhaps the most handsome being in the known universe, Thor. King of Asgard.

“You hit your panic button Man of Spiders. Are you in need of assistance… carrying bags?” Thor looked at you, tied down, and your bags tossed askew, then back at Spidey. Quizzically, he opened his palm and sent a burst of lightning up into the sky, as if looking for something. “All seems to be in perfectly good spirits here, no strange magics… so.”

“Listen, man, two minutes ago she was literally shaking the building so hard I thought we were all going down. I just don’t know how… all I did was ask her some questions, maybe play hardball with her a little,” he just shrugged at the god apologetically.

“Hi, I exist too, and I can speak for myself,” I asserted, repositioning my body so I wasn’t standing quite so hunched over. “We,” I continued, looking at Spidey, “would love your assistance in getting my bags back to wherever this team inspection or meeting is supposed to happen.” Anything to get inside and secure, before I lost it completely.

“As you wish, Lady of the Winds,” Thor almost yelled, thrusting a cane into the sky.

“No, Thor wai-.”

Before the insect could finish whatever he was trying to say, we were engulfed in a kaleidoscope of bright colors and rushed away in the blink of an eye.

So much for having a normal, Wednesday evening.

If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters (I have 28 written) drop me a message or reblog this!! As always, reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[mrdanielbond]

Bond’s New Flatmate (Chpt. 8)

“Anything you need...”

Plot: As a way of helping cope with the troubles you’ve faced for the last two months, Jonathan decides to treat you to a holiday to Geneva and it is a well deserved break. A holiday with a hunk you like to drink with? What could possibly go wrong?

A/N: I guess Tumblr is letting me post my full chapters now so imma get to it and see what I can work from. Remember, Jonathan is an actor of your choice!

“Aww hello!” You called. A German Shepard puppy raced towards you and barked instantly, dropping a tennis ball before you. He nuzzled it once more by your foot, then leapt up onto your leg, playfully barking.

“Oi! Duke stop that!” Jonathan called as he quickly pulled the ball away from you and tried to lure the dog towards him. “I’m really sorry, he gets seriously playful whenever there’s a guest in the house. Duke, come on, be a good boy and leave the lovely lady alone.”

Duke continued puffing then dashed towards Jonathan, who raised Duke up in his arms, and held him close. The overhyped dog licked his face then remained still, panting with his tongue hanging out.

“I’m really sorry about that. Duke gets really overexcited. I should’ve warned you about the dog. Are you alright with them?”

“I love dogs!” You grinned happily, tempted to lean in and hug the happy pup.

How could this man get sweeter? He had a dog! “Got him from the rescue shelter, he wasn’t in a good way, very timid at first but now, he can’t seem to get enough of being playful. I have no idea how he manages to keep all this energy.” And he did get better. “I’ll show you to your room.”

You followed him around the beautifully designed home, there was something about it that was warming. Maybe it was the fireplace that had been glowing in the distance, or the couches that you made you keep a note on where you may find yourself most comfortable in this place, if you could even do that.

Then you noticed that beside the television there was a photograph of him with a woman when he was younger. His hair was tousled, he was completely clean shaven, bright eyes that were clear through the faded picture. He wore a teal blue shirt, that was slightly unbuttoned and he was pulling a face, leaning into the woman under his arm. She was slim, blonde hair with a smile on her face. She looked far more attractive and from how close they were, maybe you thought it was his girlfriend, resembling a model if you could even say that. The two were very close, you could tell with the way she pressed against him. He never mentioned being in a relationship nor did he mention being single either.

Before you could deal with the internal questioning he opened the door to your room, still with the pup in his arm and your backpack over his shoulder. “And this is your quarters, my lady.” He said with a small smirk. That smirk was going to be the death of you, but you weren’t going to say anything about him. Definitely do not give him the satisfaction for it at least.

Your room was fairly large and goodness, it looked comfortable. This was much different to the one you had in your shared flat with James. It had a large double bed and a slick, modern touch to it once again, with a view of the city.

“Is this alright?” He suddenly asked, and by the time you turned around you could see him wait with nervous anticipation.

“This is - it’s great. I feel like I’m seriously imposing now.” You sighed, scratching your head.

“Of course you are.” Jonathan retorted. “Me and Duke were gonna have a lads night in until you ruined it.” He winked and let out a small chuckle. You rolled your eyes and set your bags inside with Jonathan behind you. He set Duke back down and the excited pup wandered his way out of the room so Jonathan could help set your bags beside the wardrobe. You realised you had been silent for quite a while and Jonathan had clearly noticed but he hadn’t wanted to point it out. He helplessly smiled, realising how close the two of you stood to each other. “Um, so if you need anything my room is down the hall, sometimes I’m in the study, it depends. Don’t be afraid to give me a shout. Any questions, just ask. Sometimes you’ll hear something smash, that’s just the bloody poltergeist that used to live here. He did have a really violent death.”

“Excuse me the what? You are joking. You have to be.”

“No. He used to own the building, died after having his throat slit. Cheated on his wife for another woman who lived in this building like ten years ago. Yes it was quite nasty, that.” He said slowly, looking down with a serious face. “Oh well. He’s not gonna kill any of us, just make his presence known.” He shrugged casually.

“His name was Tom."

"That’s bullshit.” You said, squinting your eyes.

“You want to see what he looked like then?”

“Yes.” You folded your arms. He brought out his phone and showed a photograph of the name with the exact name, outside a building with his children twenty years ago.

“The fuck is this...?” Your eyes widened as you looked at the photograph then the attached article, everything he said was correct. There was a silence, then suddenly he burst into laughter.

“His name was Tom Foolery.” A smirk emerged from his lips, which caused him to be struck with a playful slap to the arm. “Ow!” He chuckled. “I didn’t think you would believe me!”

“I knew you were lying the moment you said poltergeist. Anyway, who the hell is that then?!”

“I don’t know. There’s no bloody poltergeist here. If you hear a crash it’s Duke probably dropping something. He does that sometimes in the middle of the night. When he does that and if I’m not around, try teaching him to stay away from the kitchen, he’s still learning. Anyway I’ll leave you to it, I imagine you’ve had enough of me for now. I’ve got a phone call to make.”

He left the room and you inside it. You dropped onto the bed for a moment and let out a long sigh. This bed is bloody comfortable, you thought. Though you couldn’t help smiling, maybe you were going to enjoy your time here after all.

After a couple of hours settling down, you made your way into the living room that was adjacent to the kitchen, to smell something deliciously pleasant behind you. As you turned around you heard playing in the background as you found Jonathan with a towel over his shoulder and see him frying food at the pan. It brought you memories of your time with James, that one time he cooked for you and when Q interfered. You couldn’t help but smirk at that thought, it was a painfully humorous evening. There were few of them like that with James as time grew on and the more Madeleine stayed. You silently scolded yourself for even thinking about him.

“Ah. Y/N, why don’t you come round here. I want to show you something.” As you made your way down, you couldn’t help eyeing the television once more, seeing that photograph and how happy he looked. Jonathan had aged really well if this was his very much younger years. Now he was well defined, with a beard that had been growing out and his hair well taken care of.

“Try this.” He said, dipping a small teaspoon into the pot of sauce and handed it to you.

“I’m not going to get food poisoning am I? Because I intend on living until I’m past thirty. I know - I know it’s a surprise but a pleasant one at least!”

“I thought you liked testing the waters?”

“And I would’ve thought you’d have more creative ways to kill someone. I’m a sucker for a cup of tea or some ice cream, why couldn’t you have poisoned that?”

“I’ll take notes for next time, darling.” He winked.

“Is this going to poison me?” You said, not moving the spoon an inch closer to your lips. “You know what? Fuck it.” You shrugged, slowly moving the spoon to your lips and leaving the spoon linger in between your lips longer, causing Jonathan to cock his head to the side slightly, observantly taking in your reaction. “You said you never cook at home, right?”

“I said I’m never around enough to cook and there’s no one I can cook for. Big difference.” He said casually, his eyes moved towards the spoon before he quickly looked up and shrugged.

“Why don’t we get drinks. How do you feel about Ben Nevis? I’m a sucker for some quality scotch.” He said, making his way towards the cupboard and pulled out the bottle.

Once you had eaten your delicious meal, specially prepared by Jonathan might you add, the two of you both cleared the table and got to washing up. He tried hard to keep you away from doing anything but your stubbornness is the reason you stuck around. The two of you shared a laugh with each other now and again, something you never thought would happen especially with Jonathan.

You made your way to the guest room once you had finished, leaving Jonathan to place back the rest of the plates. You took in the view of the beautiful scene at your disposal. Colourful lights below, all similarly to dots driving through the road, while a dark blanket covered the sky above.

It had been like that for the next week under your stay with Jonathan. He had been caring enough to look out for you. You both helped each other with breakfast and supper with him and watching late nights films together. Soon that had to end and you would have to go back to work after you spent the last three nights away from work. Currently, you found yourself staring at your chemistry set, wondering what to do with it. Back at the old flat, you were able to work in your own comfort zone as you knew you were paying to stay in the flat and in your space. But in this case you weren’t and everything here looked more expensive than your yearly salary alone. As much as he said it was your home just as much as his, you knew for a fact this was solely his home. He paid for it, no matter how much you tried to offer him your share and promised him that you would be out of his way, that was not the case with him. He strongly refused, telling you that his apartment was big enough for more than the two of you and this was barely any trouble for him.

The time was 2.00 am and you had to get back to work but the downpour outside kept you awake. Suddenly, your phone buzzed. On the screen appeared a name, one that caused your tossing and turning to stop immediately.

-

From: Unknown

Y/N, we need to talk.

James

-

The sight of the message caused you to roll your eyes immediately. There was no way you were going to talk to talk to him. You couldn’t, at least not yet. The anger that seeped from within towards him and the betrayal he caused couldn’t be stopped. There was only one way you could de-stress yourself and that was to take a shower. You took a shower and once you were comfortable in just a tank top and shorts, you made your way to the kitchen to make yourself a drink when on your way you stopped to find a light shining from a room beside you.

Tea first. That’s what you needed. Once you were successful, you made your way back down the hall, when you found the light still shining. The door was left slightly unhinged and you could see a figure, probably Jonathan, looking down at something. From what you could see, he was in a white t shirt and his hair was slightly tousled but it only made him look better.

“You know you don’t have to hide behind that door.” The velvet voice said behind the door, instantly catching you off guard.

You slowly opened the door raising an eyebrow. “Was I that loud?”

“Let’s just say there’s a reason why you would make an awful spy.” He gestured to the seat before him.

“What’s that?” You knew parts about Jonathan’s job. All you knew was he spent time in Afghanistan as a soldier, then worked with intelligence through a private branch. There were a lot of things you hadn’t known about this man and his job was the biggest one of them all. He travelled around the world and stated that when the real operatives failed, he had to step forward and get the job done, which essentially is what left him with all that he has today, as you may guess.

“It’s just something for work. They want me to go to Geneva this time. Turns out an agent from MI6 has failed to capture a potential threat and they want me to investigate the mess.” He scratched his head, “I’ll have to head off in a couple of days.”

The small nod surprised him. Not even a response left your lips. You fiddled with your fingers, suddenly alarmed by the fact that you felt his eyes bore into you. At this point in time, all you could think of was him. He didn’t have the right to just instantly message you like that. Why did he choose now? When you were just managing to forget about him and appreciate your time here, as much as your mind challenged the whole living situation.

“Y/N?”

“Oh right. Yes, Geneva sounds great. I hope you have a great time.” Your eyes lit up, if there was a time to escape before getting attached, it had to be now. “That’s great timing anyway. While you’re gone, I’ll be able to pack my bags-”

“Wait - pack? Where?” His eyes widened quickly and he reached his hand forward, immediately stopping you from moving any further. “Hold on. I need you to breathe, love.”

You stopped talking and did as he asked, noting the worry that shot into his eyes. He seemed like a deer in headlights. Though these terms of endearment were going to be the death of you.

“Talk to me. What’s up?”

“Look, I don’t want to be negative or anything but this? This isn’t right.” You huffed, “I shouldn’t be here, Jon. I should be out there finding myself somewhere else to live. The only reason I am here, and let’s be honest, it’s because you felt so much pity for me that you had to do something and I’m going to be honest, I don’t do sympathy. I can’t do sympathy. I don’t want it. As much as you want to call this my home just as much it is your home, that can’t happen because this can’t be my home I didn’t pay for anything here. I’m practically just a wet blanket around this place. You’re cool and all, I like you and I have never been this far with anyone but I feel like now’s the time the fun ends.”

He sat forward with his hand over his mouth, something that you knew only a man like him would do when he was annoyed or trying to figure something out. However, you couldn’t tell which one it was.

“Where’s this coming from? I thought you liked it here.” It took a second for him to piece the puzzle. “He’s contacted you - hasn’t he?”

“It’s nothing to do with that.”

The man rose from his seat and made his way towards you, leaning against the surface of his desk. The reading glasses he donned you could not lie, made him look more attractive than you expected him to be but you realised, not now. You couldn’t let those ideas come in now. He stepped casually towards the other side of the desk, right in front of you and at this moment in time you could finally take his figure in. There have been moments now and again where you found yourself coming close to him but it wasn’t like this. The tension in the air lingered between the two of you - unless you were the only one who could sense it.

“Do you like being here?” He asked, folding his arms with an observant look on his face.

“I - It’s not about whether I like being here or not.” You sighed helplessly.

“Well that’s a shame because I have enjoyed your company a lot here these past few days.” He leaned forward and reached for your hand, “And just so you know this goes beyond missing one lads night in with Duke. I enjoy it being a night in, just me and you, drinking and watching every single ridiculous film possible and criticising it while drunk. I don’t know about you but I’ve loved being around you - the sarcastic, stupidly stubborn woman before me.”

“Yes I’ve enjoyed being around her too.” You mumbled with a smirk.

“See!” He chuckled lightly. “Come on, tell me something. If you really didn’t want to be here, why did you stay so long? Because you’d feel bad for me? Or is it something else?” He slowly reached for your hand and pulled you to him. There was a silence between you two, before he pulled you close. Subconsciously, you interlocked your fingers with his, moving closer.

“Let’s go to somewhere.” He said.

“I’d like to say I like your thinking but where on earth are you planning to go?” You pulled your head back, confused.

“Anywhere, after this. A holiday. Somewhere away from work. Get so fucking drunk and have such a wild time that when we come back maybe you’ll feel differently about what home feels like. We can get to know each other. Nothing better than friends having fantastic bloody time abroad. What happens in Geneva, stays in Geneva sort of thing.”

“Isn’t that a bit spontaneous - even for you?”

“It depends on how you look at it. This is an opportunity to go anywhere and I know, Miss Independent, you want to pay for something on your own but that's not happening this time. I don’t want to stop you from being you but I also want you to move away from money troubles. Being honest, I just want you to have a break from all you've been through these past few weeks and if I could take you, it would be my absolute pleasure.”

[jvnex]

favorite family relationships/friendships you’ve played out?

Brace yourselves.

Empire is a very special place where I’ve been able to play s o m a n y amazing relationships out, let’s compile a list, shall we~

First and foremost— JJ & Harv Jarv the main man. Rip Marv Jarv the best uncle to ever exist unkno. I really do adore Autumn for playing my character’s father bc like who does that, no one. I appreciate that she can bring to life a father figure and make him so believable and accurate? Despite being in her twenties and... not.... a father... yeah. He truly is a lovable character and the fact that we can play off each other for inspiration/how our characters act and react to things is AMAZING. We’re like a guide for each other, ily and Harv mwah.

Liam & JJ have this incredible dynamic that I think is so fun to write out, he’s so human and you can clearly see that in everything he does. A true man. Accompanied with Millie the Jarvis fam is complete and we love all its members and everything they choose to do with their characters. I like that we’re able to headcanon things about their past without talking in depth about it with each other because we just know the family, we always figure a way for it to work out and fit in with their crazy shapeshifter hating asses. Liam making bets he can’t win and JJ taking advantage of that, Liam getting attacked by wildlife or spending all his money on Arizona tea— it just works.

Juju (JJ & Julian), JJ & Jonah— connections with the Rhodes are quite possibly the most important for her and Julian and Jonah are among those. I’m grouping them together bc I see them hanging out and doing random shit together don’t fight me. Junie B can be playful, sassy, serious or bitter with either of them and they always have the most entertaining (random?) threads. We still have SO MANY plots to explore with them and there is SO MUCH more potential, but we will get to that yes, yes we will. The shapeshifter hatred is strong in Juju, and burrito love is strong in JJonah.

CJ & JJ, the unholy,,, duo. They’re the best of both worlds, the brains and the brawn, the skill and the looks. Fight me. The hunting thread we had that lasted for literally 8 months will forever be engrained in my fucking memory, it has impacted JJ a lot and she’ll always bring up that evil sai blade, believe me. CJ pushes her where any other character couldn’t, it wouldn’t make sense, but with her it does. Among the most important characters for her to interact with for sure, period.

JJ & Hendrix are kinda like Liam & JJ in a way but also not because he’s, like, old. From inappropriate to childish jokes and jabs, they cover it all. It’s just rp crack like, we write mostly dialogue of random shit they bring up and I feel like I’m rping Wronah again. Again, we can headcanon shit and it makes sense right away. Let me picship my tvd universe fcs in peace, thanks.

Moving onto my witch bitch— Corrina & Lucian: two incredibly similar yet somehow different witchy woo siblings, very close in age and personality. They’re both so completely bitter and pretentious it kills me, it makes their interactions ridiculous and gives me drive to rp Corrina whenever I get the chance. I’m ready to explore future plots with them, there is so much we can do (Bordeauxs, vamp biz, Tallis family line bullshit) that I think will blow up the dash. Let’s do more six paragraph threads.

Hudson & Corrina make me wanna kms lbr. Her complex makes no sense but somehow Beca understands it and plays it out so beautifully in game. Hudson is a model older brother, even now as a serial killer black magic witch gone awry, he looks out for his siblings’ best interests at every waking moment which makes it difficult for me to be mean to him in replies like? I want to hug him, but I also want to jump him, climb him like a tree bc why are you using Justin Hartley the man, the myth, the legend. Planning out threads is like... a no, because somehow we figure out where they’re going through crude jokes and assumptions, and their relationship has evolved into the most extra thing on this planet.

Corrina & Kels are like, idk, I love Kels bc he’s normal in comparison to everyone else in the family idgi. He makes me happy, he makes Corrina happy. Nothing she holds against Hudson could ever be held against him, nothing she punishes Lucian for could ever be applied to Kelsey the main man because he is so good it hurts. Guardian angel plant brethren with a heart of gold, just living his life and helping others, being a good big brother (little brother, too) and mentor. With the recent addition of Laine there is more of this to come.

Elise & Corrina, Lola & Corrina— my very favorite friendship trio. I can say with the utmost certainty that my favorite species to play are witches. The power and the connection to the earth they have is really therapeutic?? w/e I really enjoy writing them, so to have three amazing witches to explore this with outside of immediate family connections is just astonishing. Coco and Lolo met and were friends before Eli and the gang were, but I feel such strong pulls from both of them. It was only when Elise came to the city that they became the best friends they are today. With the similarities between the Blossom and Buttercup, Bubbles is a breath of fresh air. A bright light shining on a field of flowers, keeping them strong, showing different perspectives and bringing some much needed niceness and humility to the table. Elise will always have two loving, supporting witch families to fall back on, the Carringtons and Tallises welcome her.

Corrina & the Vales. Close from a young age, exploring the frey and subways together, casting spells and shifting into bears—- these supernatural clusterfucks have it covered. Sheamus, the newest edition to the Vales (god bless an Autumn), is what I would call the perfect big brother, and I can see Corrina envying the Vales for their relationship with their eldest brother, wishing she could let go of her superstitions to go back to how she used to view things, *cough cough hudson*. Addison, fav vale of resident bratty Tallis, they have a very nice relationship. Maybe they can bond over Noah fucking them up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ or maybe just more over ice cream. She’s seen her in diapers, Addison was a mess after Halloween and Devon’s death and the bitch was there to see her then, too. We are a #teamAddison fanbase over here, or I’d like to say Corrina is, but family is important to her so I really need to explore that with her and figure out where she stands on that— #teamHudson can choke. Levi is like,, idk she had a crush on him when she was younger but she’s comfortable enough around him to this day that she can almost forget about that. Threatens to kill him on the daily when he brings it up, their dynamic has me over the moon. Where a stranger with his personality would undoubtedly annoy her, she finds him charming and happens to see him as good company. And last but not least, Rosalie. The youngest Vale has a special spot in Corrina’s heart, a spot reserved for the ‘you-annoy-me-but-i-would-also-kill-for-you’ type people in her life. One day she loves her, the next she can’t stay far enough away from her. But they’re the same age and are family friends, I’d like to think they’d do anything for each other given the right circumstances.

As for characters from past rps it’s literally all wren who am i kidding,, here I go. Once again, BRACE.

Wren & Savannah, let’s talk about wREN AND SAVANNAH. Cousins turned siblings when we moved rps, but I could argue the cousin dynamic was better, don’t hate me. I used Ansel why? Idk, but it was a good choice, and Savannah was his reason for doing everything idc. She cared for him like a cousin, sister, and mother all in one— from when he had not-so-great parents to when they were siblings and had the BEST parents in all the land. Savannah Fontaine was a fucking rock, she never let up, never let anyone see her at her worst, never said anything she didn’t want to and she was so amazing. I love this bitch I could talk for hours and I will. Their dynamic was like,, well, Wren as the youngest was very goofy, he had his own way of thinking and was basically in his own little world. But Sav somehow brought him out of that and made him look at the bigger picture, asked impossible things of him (take over the coven why don’t you) and didn’t treat him like a stupid kid whereas so many others did. The overwhelming pain and love we felt when we played them was special, because I’ve never rped siblings that impacted me or my character so much, as weird as that sounds. Much love, xoxo your favorite brother

Bonnie & Wren are the best brotp I’ve ever played out to this day. Kori and I have a knack for playing best friend duos (enter Junny), but Wronnie was a special one. People shipped them which was.. weird, but Bonnie was a fucking mess and idk why they were friends other than we just made them friends. It developed into something so fucking amazingly beautiful that it killed me. I still read their threads whenever I think about them and envision so many things we could do with them now. Having a past like her’s wasn’t something that always pushed them closer but separated them at times. A hunter and a witch, weird unlikely friends I’d say, but would have done anything for each other. They were there for each other through parental struggles, advice about ship shit, supernatural problems, and just about anything you can think of. I wanna thank this bitch for playing the best best friend I’ve ever had in or out of rp, my life is sad.

Jonah & Wren, Benji & Wren. banjo bonjo, bingo bong the best times of my fucking life. Here I am praising Autumn again, my fucking queen, #1 bitch back off. Ok. I’m gonna put Jonah in a trash can. Benji is a friend with stilts. National egg day. Rp crack at its finest, I can’t make this shit up. Ted Cruz is an icon— these are just inside jokes sorry.

Wrenny (Wren & Lenny) were uh............ they had issues like, she was bad juju magic he was light shit and he hated that she did it. A good brotp until he went searching through her mind and she sent him flying fifteen feet backwards, then they were a notp. Like severely, Wren could probably kill her bc he hates the bitch. What reason, you ask? idk. Can we talk about Wriana (Wren & Diana) in the same paragraph,, I’m gonna do it. They’re both played by Marty anyway what do I care. I literally never have ships and when you ship with marty it’s an experience. Like I said: rainbow ringlets, mind blown, I am nothing. Mozzarella fucking fiends, they’re in love, virgin prince and princess.

Vince & Ivan and I’m mentioning this bc when do I play siblings with Martha. Rat kings, kings of not bathing, kings of vampiric murder, kings of hating original vampires. Uh idk I really liked that they were from Bulgaria or some shit, google translate is my friend tbh, their whole predicament was a lot. Surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me, sike. Vince couldn’t control him, it was a lot, Ivan hated him, but also like his only living relative so whatever we’re brothers let’s go have some fun. U feel.

honorable mentions bc I’m too fucking dead to write anymore: tatum & wren, tatum & danny, shelby my bitch, ethan, TATE, caity cait, every sibling I’ve ever played to arianna. the delacroixs are thriving

[violetsystems]

#personal

The most momentous thing that happened this week was the payment for my health insurance depositing.  I guess you could also include the president catching covid-19 in there too.  In an era where staying safe is the new bling, I’m not too worried about the funding.  I spent the first day of October in a spreadsheet budgeting out everything cash forward for the first time in forever.  Most of the heavy lifting has been taken care of without much advice or counsel from anyone.  I spent the entire summer mostly alone in this struggle when it comes to real life, mental health and taxes.  On the eve of my health insurance benefit running out from my old employer, I ran into someone I used to work with outside of a church in Pilsen.  I was out doing laundry at the time and as I passed quickly they acknowledged me silently.  I nodded and kept walking.  I could only imagine what they wanted to say and the window for that kind of thing went out with the weather.  The next day an old employee finally responded to my message on LinkedIn from the 15th of September.  I had left my number there plain as day in that very same message.  They had said they tried contacting me on Facebook.  I don’t use it and had deleted it over a year ago along with Instagram and Twitter as of recently.  I had told people countless times in the office I had deleted most of my social media and my stance on privacy in IT.  The conversation ended abruptly from there much like my employment.  A fishing expedition gone wrong.  The reality of everything became clearer when I left the bank after rolling over a portion of a lump sum to an IRA.  There are opportunities in everything.  A great side effect of the Heroes act passed by Congress was that my pension benefit was easier to melt down with less penalties.  The simple fact that I even had a pension after working twenty years was a red line on somebody’s balance sheet somewhere.  You just wish it wouldn’t have been in the eyes of those who champion art and fairness.  This is where rich people always fall short.  Beyond the news of our president taking a sixteen year loss on his tax returns, I’ve read even more troubling things.  A billionaire criticizing a billionaire for implementing a fair tax law in Illinois.  I voted for that even after staring at the measly amount of retirement I’ve had to turn into my living expenses as taxable income for this year.  The other right leaning billionaire shuffled his prized Basquiat piece into the museum in a rush to open between donating for Rubio and Cruz’s political campaigns.  I often take breaks between researching tax law to wonder just how much of that is tax deductible.  That billionaire also got rich with the aid of family ties during the market crash of the nineties.  If all this money is tied up in politics and absolved from taxes where can you expect democracy to fit in?  Possibly somewhere nestled in my quiet little cottage overlooked by the public transit system.  Everyone morning I get emails.  Mostly from LinkedIn telling me about more jobs in China I’d be a good fit for.  

All the while getting bullied by recruiters, headhunters, venture capitalists and the fringe tribes in this city that work for them and not taxpayers like myself.  Not much time to enjoy video games or life at all with all this bullshit on my mind.  I do have conversations with people in passing that don’t suck.  I mostly stay in the neighborhood these days though I do shop downtown.  I passed a kid in a bootleg Chanel mask outside of a bodega I never explored.  I asked him where he got it somewhat stilted as he was caught off guard.  An older version of me would have never had the confidence to approach a situation like that.  It took a couple of tries but he mumbled that he got it inside.  I said I’d stop back later and did after a stop at the ATM.  The owner seemed guarded and suspicious.  He told me he was sold out but to come back in the next two days.  I came back on that Tuesday to discover he now only had Nike masks for sale.  I told him about my job search and we joked about loss prevention.  He said he might have more in the future and to stop back.  There was an honest connection that I made by pushing myself and being confident.  Something that was tied to the future and not my past that I cannot seemingly escape.  I’m not really all that comfortable with what’s happened in my past.  The real depressing realization lately has been exactly how hard it is to escape society’s plan for you.  The easiest way is to walk away from it.  That’s hard to do sometimes in America for any amount of reasons.  For myself, I was saddled with a lot of bad decisions that were made out of earnest.  I helped people financially.  I took jobs for passion and not for money.  I got paid less than what I was worth.  Now I look at the Chicago market and people are looking for Senior auditor positions at my old non-profit salary.  Soulless corporate work for the sake of galvanizing and restructuring purchases by capitalists in a crumbling utopia.  Meanwhile Vice Media is the top search for my profile on the job site.  All the while people still pretend that I don’t exist unless I play by their sociopathic rules that reward bullies.  And the game has gotten old and unfair.  The cards up the sleeve are starting to show.  And for myself, the only revolution has been staying alive, fed and happy in the face of absolute failure of leadership and vision.  The irony of bootleg masks and my attention to them is that the pandemic is not over.  There is no vaccine.  People are going back to the office to fill vast properties tied to investments that rich people are losing money rapidly on.  Old money isn’t agile.  It’s wrapped up in fairy tale land hustles that make pyramid schemes look like an endless tesseract of panama papers.  I was listening to a podcast that described the money laundering discovered in the FinCEN files as “old news.”  Old news is the new fake news.  The last twenty years of my life is old news to most people.  And yet three months later, people want to kick me around like a can for gossip and worse.  I don’t really trust anything other than the money in my bank account at this point.  I did vote by mail.  I trust that got counted because I received an email from the city.  I also trust that people trust me.  I hold myself accountable.  I have the taxes set aside for my pension with little or no deductions or losses to prove it.  Who is really fucked at the end of the day?  

Granted my Bohemian lifestyle has an expiration date.  It’s a year past October 1st when my COBRA runs out.  I don’t think anybody would hold it against you if you stayed out of the job market until a vaccine was out there.  The simple fact is could you afford it?  I can by burning my pension benefit to ash.  I didn’t buy a car or anything.  I bought a laptop.  I didn’t treat myself.  Most of that disposable income goes to paying health insurances premiums that cost as much as my rent per month.  I have that rent, utilities, and health insurance set aside liquid past that date.  And it seems like I have all the answers without having to claim I’m unemployed.  And yet everybody is still trying to game and hustle me into something I’m not quite aware of.  Everybody trusts rich old money that sits on a mountain of cash everybody is addicted to.  Nobody speaks to me other than here in my dash.  And it’s a telling sign the only people in life I really trust are phantoms and avatars that I’ve come to know over the years.  I don’t for the record think anything in America is normal right now.  Not after this entire situation with the virus and the president succumbing to it.  So I’ve simply taken to what I know is bankable.  That person is me.  I trust me.  I’ve kept myself alive and healthy.  I feel sexier.  Less bogged down by the opinions of people who never stop to remember what social media platforms I’ve dropped off and why.  I’ve listened to the community I’ve been a part of for years on this site particularly.  Been a responsible and transparent adult to people regardless of their age, orientation, religious or political beliefs.  And I’ve become a more tolerant and fulfilled person because of it.  I make choices that I feel people on here would respect.  I don’t have much to hide other than a voracious appetite for weed on occasion.  I am stressed and lost in all of this.  But strangely I’ve felt more connected to real people out there.  And I explore through that confidence and try to be the hero everyone here expects me to be.  And in that it’s pretty much the same old Tim.  Except I’m not stressed out about working for a goal and a vision that doesn’t respect what I want to be.  I spend a lot of time working on myself and my surroundings.  I ordered new curtains for the living room.  I cook dinner on the stove and make coffee in the sunlight of a cozy kitchen with forced heat and air.  I don’t have any debt anymore to speak of.  I’ve been breathing through that space to see myself independently of everything.  And yet I’m still attached to things I cannot explain even if I tried.  The good news is nobody who knows the truth behind me ever feels the need to ask.  They just show support.  And real support lately throughout this nightmare is out there for me.  It’s pretty hard not to see.  Bright pink as far as the eye can see.  At least I’m no longer in the red.  <3 Tim