#why am i so scared of pen ink?

[witchofinterest]

anxiety has taken some of my favorite activities from me but i think the one im saddest about is being able to draw on myself

[b4kuch1n]

OOOUGGHAAAAAAA I DID IT I MANAGED TO DO INK WITH A DIP PEN

NEXT COMICS MEDIUM IS FUCKING SETTLED. YUUTO YOU WILL BE FED

[letoasai]

Will work for food ~ part 2

Part 1 - Master list

Tim was anxious which wasn’t an emotion he often put into use. Even on a bad day he was calculating, overly prepared, and usually ran on caffeine. He was a young genius and a hell of a detective, but nerves probably didn’t care about his resume or personality quirks. 

He rubbed his thumb against the folded piece of paper kept hidden in his pocket. He’d examined it in the batcave but it held no clues of note. It was just a normal sheet of paper, and the ink could have been a pen from any local corner store. No DNA. No fingerprints. All the same, he kept it out of sight in public. 

Tim had been antsy about summoning Phantom, mostly because he felt like he was disrespectfully late. When he’d first laid eyes on the living form of the Ghost King, he’d felt a familiar ache. Neglect. He didn’t know if the king had neglected himself, or if the blame lay at someone else's feet, but he just couldn’t stand it. 

He’d offered food and company in an instant, the words popping out of his mouth before he could think them through. Despite that, he didn’t regret the offer. He could have done without the teasing from his siblings and teammates, but he didn’t regret the offer once. 

His only remorse was with the clean up efforts. The Infinite creature, Vortex, had left quite the destruction in his wake. Even with many extended members of the League assisting with clean up, it took ages. Search and rescues were active and humanitarian groups had arrived to offer aid but some things couldn’t be done in a weekend. 

The bats returning to Gotham didn’t offer much in the way of a break either. A Scarecrow outbreak with his fear toxin. Three different gangs in the middle of a turf war. A weapons smuggling ring being uncovered… It was one thing after another for a minute. 

When all was said and done it had been nearly two months before Tim had the opportunity to keep his promise. He was in his civvies, standing at the mouth of an alleyway across from a little italian place that looked cheap but was actually the best tasting, most authentic italian place in all of Gotham. Little hole in the wall places often were the best. 

The problem now was his ability to overthink things. Would he summon the king in a glow of green that would light up the street like a beacon? Would he arrive in his ghostly form, crown hovering above his hooded head? 

Phantom looked human enough but was he? Did he come from Earth originally? There were plenty of aliens that looked human. It would be rude to assume… 

What name did he use? Did he need to go full title? Why didn’t he ask more questions when he had the chance?

“King Phantom.” Tim muttered, deciding to just go for it. He still clutched the paper sigil out of sight. “Uh, Ghost King Phantom. King of the Infinite Realm. Um… Or was it High King…” 

“Just Phantom is fine.” 

Tim tensed, all of his hair standing on end at the voice directly behind him in the alley. He hadn’t made a sound but he needed to actively work to exhale and turn around to face his guest. There had been zero indication of his arrival, and he was thankfully, in his living form. 

He was in jeans and an over sized hoodie. Tim could just barely make out a faded NASA written in the front. That was a point in the direction of him possibly being a human from Earth. He wore shoes this time, beat up looking kicks that had seen better days. His hood was also drawn over his head, likely to hide his bony appearance. Tim did spy the tail of his braid over his shoulder though, his hair black to further prove he was in his living form. 

“You…scared the hell out of me.” Tim said, smiling after another hard exhale. “I am sorry it took so long, your Highness.” 

“Phantom.” He corrected, looking around the street and taking it all in. Tim could clock him making note of the turns down the street and the buildings with fire escapes even with his hood up. People just had certain body language when casing an area. “I figured it would be a while, if you summoned me at all. I was not going to hold you to a whim, Red Robin.” 

“I said i would…” Tim muttered. “Uh, it’s Tim, out of uniform. If you don’t mind.” 

“Tim.” He repeated. That softness to his voice remained, and honestly, Tim liked the cadence of it. He liked it as much as he was sure he never wanted to hear Phantom raise his voice. “I understand.” He hesitated only a beat. “You can call me Danny. Phantom is probably a silly thing to call someone in a city like this.” 

“Not if it’s your name.” 

“Danny is okay.” He said, and for whatever reason, Tim noticed now how he kept his hands in his pockets, likely to hide them too. Frail, skeletal looking hands would just frighten some people. “Food? For a favor?” 

“No favor involved. I invited you out.” Tim said. “I mean, maybe we can chat about stuff but you aren’t obligated to answer or anything.” 

Phantom…Danny nodded, shuffling for a moment and looking around again. The height of the buildings seemed to be a mild interest of his. “Where are we eating?” 

“Well, if you like Italian, we’re walking across the street.” He thought pasta and breads would be both filling and flavorful. It would also be something easily packed up for Danny to take with him. 

“I’ll eat anything.” Danny informed him. “I have no preferences after all this time.” He hesitated. “Or maybe i need to rediscover them, but anything will be fine.” 

“Let’s… let’s go then.” Tim said, walking with Danny at his side. He’d made a reservation which wasn’t strictly necessary at such a small place but it gave him the option of reserving a corner table to offer them a little more privacy. 

They walked in, the hostess greeting them with a smile before leading them to their table and leaving them with bread, water, and menus. There were a few other full tables but it wasn’t packed the way it would be in the evening. 

Danny kept his hood up, but it was Gotham and no one questioned the decision. They just left him in peace to not start a conflict with someone who wasn’t causing any trouble. He also kept his hands out of sight until the hostess had left. He sipped the water once and broke off only a little piece of the bread. He buttered it and ate on it while flipping open the menu. 

Tim didn’t know if he was reading the English or Italian parts of the menu but it didn’t matter. Being fluent in reading an Earth language was another check mark for this being his place of origin. 

“Can i…” Tim hummed, keeping in mind that he was speaking with royalty and act a little less like Bruce interrogating a suspect. “Can i ask a couple questions?” 

Danny looked up at him, Tim only barely able to make out some of his features passed the unnatural shadows his hood provided. “Sure.” 

Tim smiled, not even bothering with the menu since he knew what he was getting. “You’re the King of a realm, but was Earth your place of origin?” 

“Yes, but not this Earth.” 

Dimensions! Tim filed that away for later. “You can travel to any of them?” 

“Within reason. Yes. I’m old, but not that old yet. Only eight or nine decades.” He tore another small piece of bread to eat. Tim assumed he was pacing himself. “They call me a baby Ancient still.” 

“That’s cool…” Tim muttered. “Are there many other Earths?” 

“The answer to that would never satisfy you.” Danny said softly. “Trust me. I am the Ancient of Space and i’m hardly satisfied with it.” 

There was a new fact for Tim to latch on. “What’s the-” He stopped when the waitress appeared. Both of them ordered, and Tim was certain he’d end up ordering more halfway through the meal so Danny could take more home with him.  

When the menus were taken and the waitress left again, Tim continued. “What’s the difference between being an Ancient of Space and being the Ghost King.” 

“When i died, or half died, it was my fate to one day become the Ancient of Space. I am that regardless. I won the title of Ghost King.” 

Tim dragged a hand down his face. “That’s…. Endlessly fascinating. I have so many questions.” He didn’t even know how to touch ‘half died’ yet. 

Danny hummed once and fiddled with the end of his braid. “Do i get to ask questions too?” 

“Of course.” 

Danny leaned forward, sipping at his water again. “This Earth has super heroes. That’s interesting. Mine didn’t. How long have you been a hero?” 

Tim nodded, figuring that would be the direction the questions would have wandered towards. They were far enough away from everyone in the restaurant that he didn’t worry about being heard. The music playing in the background also helped a great deal. 

“Hero might be a debate depending on who you ask. In Gotham we’re considered vigilanties. I first suited up at thirteen but it was really more like fourteen after a great deal of training.” 

Danny was quiet for a moment. “And how old are you now? I have trouble telling ages these days…” 

“Eighteen.” Tim said. 

“Young.” Danny muttered. “I was young too. Fourteen when i became the bridge. Sixteen before i really understood what it meant.” 

“The bridge?” 

“Balance. The living and the dead.” 

Tim huffed softly. “You wear a lot of hats, don’t you?”  

Danny made a quiet noise, and it took Tim a beat longer than normal to realize he was laughing. “I do, i wish i didn’t most of the time. It’s fine though.” 

“Just fine?” Tim asked after a beat. He knew a little about expectations and high standards that could weigh you down–both his own standards and other peoples. 

Danny nodded, one of his hands resting on the other. “I’ve seen things. Good things. Bad things. Things that will never happen. Things that have. It’s better i have certain powers because i have no desire to use them.” 

Aah. Tim understood that. “People who want too much power are dangerous.” 

“Exactly.” 

“The power of ruling an entire realm…” 

“Exactly.” 

Tim heaved a sigh. “Damn.” Maybe he should ask something less intense. “Did you enjoy the food we gave you last time? It was just some fast food but there was some worry it wasn’t good enough.” 

“It was great.” Danny said and he sounded sincere. “Nostalgic. It took me a few days to eat all of it. I know the Infinite Realm’s reputation, and it is a warranted reputation, but i’m… hard to offend. Little things are just little things.” 

“I’ll put them at ease then.” 

Danny was quiet for a moment, the silence not an oppressive one. “What is the difference between a hero and a vigilante?” 

“How people perceive us, i guess. Superman will always be seen as a hero. Wholesome and valiant and all that. Things in Gotham are altogether… shadier. Being a vigilante isn’t exactly legal and while we have our boundaries, we break the law all the time.” Tim said. They covered their own tracks well but it was fortunate that no one looked too closely at their activities. 

It didn’t bother Tim when he knew his reasons were still good. 

Danny made a thoughtful kind of noise. “I’m willing to bet Superman’s business isn’t purely legal either. This seems like a nice Earth though, despite whatever troubles you have.” 

“Some hero work is sanctioned by the government so it’s a fine line. Any of it could be argued.” Tim explained, and that was something Danny seemed to find fascinating. 

They paused their conversation again when the waitress appeared with their food, and Tim put in a second order for them to take when they left. The eyes Tim could feel on him told him that Danny already knew what they were for. 

He could hear Danny softly inhale and exhale as he looked at the plate in front of him that came accompanied with salad. He likely wouldn’t be able to eat even a fraction of it but the way he looked at it…. made Tim realize that he could see Danny’s face more clearly. The shadows that obscured his face from his hood had receded. He was still gaunt, but he eyed the food with so much joy. 

The first bite of –non fast food– food nearly seemed to overwhelm him in a good way. 

“You know,” Tim swung hard to change subjects. “We can do a bit of a food tour every time i summon you for lunch. Pizza. Chinese. Barbeque. There’s a great taco truck. We could get something homemade.” 

“You cook?” 

“Haa. No.” Tim said seriously. “But Al… my grandpa is an amazing cook and he seemed to think trading food for world saving services was very sensible but he was appalled that we offered you cheap fries and burgers. He’d honestly love to cook for you.” 

Danny smiled, this shy little look that shouldn’t have fit someone with the title of Ghost King but it sure fit Danny. “That could be nice. Decent home cooked meals are kind of mythological to me.” 

Tim nodded once, and knew better than to ask directly. “I didn’t have a very cuddly upbringing either. There was a lot of take-out involved.” 

“Your food ever come back to life and try to eat you instead?” Danny asked and Tim just stared. 

“I can’t…tell if that’s a real question or if you’re messing with me.” 

Danny smiled and was that a hint of fangs? “Dead serious.” 

Time groaned. “No, no you are a king. You are not making puns.” 

“Thinking i’m too mature for puns is a grave mistake.” Danny said without hesitation. 

“Noo.” Tim groaned, lips upturned into a smile. His brothers could never know about this. Dick would start a pun off and Jason’s morbid sense of humor about his own death…. Ugh, it would be bad. 

It did bring up the interesting question of Danny’s age. He said he’d been alive for decades but how did he mature. Was he still a teenager? Did he age slowly? Asking not only sounded like a bad idea, but Raven and Zatanna had both made sure he knew it was a question to not ask. 

They chatted, they ate, or well, Tim ate. Danny ate a bite every few minutes and looked thrilled about it but he was slowing down. Tim was looking forward to Danny being able to eat more with every visit. 

He flagged down the waitress, gesturing for a box and got a thumbs up in return. 

“You can take it with you.” Tim said when Danny was giving him a look. “It might be a couple days before i can call you again and this way you’ll have enough to eat every day.” 

“I can’t deny that.” Danny said. “You don’t have to keep summoning me.”

“I promised you lunches.” Tim said firmly. “And you said it yourself, you should eat more and spend more time in a living realm. You may as well take advantage of being summoned for food.” 

“Hm…” Danny played with the end of his braid again. “You do make a compelling argument. It’s nice to talk to someone without it being preceded by a brawl.” 

Tim stared, “What?” 

Danny just looked amused. “I’ll explain to you etiquette in the Infinite Realm sometime.” 

“Yeah?” 

The waitress returned with boxes for Danny to pack up his meal and the empty dishes were whisked away to make more room on the table while they waited for their to-go orders. 

They were almost startled when a second waitress reappeared with a few little dishes before they could begin speaking again. Everything was set in the middle of the table, presumably for them to share. There was a piece of white peach tart, a bowl of strawberry gelato, and a slice of frozen chocolate chip meringata. 

“Um…” Tim blinked. “We didn’t-”

The waitress chuckled. “It was ordered for you by another patron. Please enjoy.” She set down another set of utensils for them and walked away. 

Danny made a small sound in his throat. “Well i was full but how could i say no to a couple more bites…” 

“Wait.” Tim said, gaze subtly shifting around the room. Maybe he was trained to be paranoid, but it usually served him well. What he found almost instantly had his eye twitching. 

Not even halfway across the room sat a poorly disgusted Dick wearing large sunglasses, a fedora, and the world's least convincing mustache. When he saw Tim looking and grinned and raised his own wine glass. 

“I gotta kill my brother…” 

Danny sputtered out a laugh, so genuinely amused that Tim could definitely see his fangs as he laughed.

“That would make him my problem.” Danny pointed out, reaching for a spoon to try the gelato first. 

“I’m not seeing your point.” Tim said, delighted by Danny’s teasing. It was a rookie mistake to think one of his siblings wouldn’t find out about this. An absolute blunder that he hadn’t noticed Dick walking in after them at all. He’d never live it down. 

“Guess i’ll have to be more careful next time.” He added. 

Danny hummed again and seemed to have a fondness for the cold dessert. “I could always invite you to my realm sometime.” 

“Cool.” Tim said instantly. Ha, let them try to follow him then…

[antennaed-shidou]

How r u? This is my attempt at a request!

Barou Shouei x GN (preferably)! Poet! Gentle/Sweet! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack, Reader is a sweetheart, Highschool/No Blue Lock! AU

- Reader doesn't know how to talk to Barou, so instead they secretly put love poems in Barou's locker. Reader thinks Barou doesn't know who his secret admirer is, until he corners poor Reader after class to confront them.

Small Letters

✰ Baro Shoei x GN! reader

✰ Genre: fluff, crack, reader is a sweety high school au

✰ Misc: Word Count: 1.7k I am having a wonderful day, sorry it took forever. Thanks for the request hope it meets what you wanted.

✰ you leave letters in his locker cause you're scared to say what you mean to him, that is until he confronts you

"You're joking? Love letters?" Your best friend shouts, way too loud for the whole world to hear.

You cover her mouth with your hand so she doesn't say anything else she isn't supposed to. "Will you keep your mouth shut!" You look around to see a few people giving you two weird stares as they walk past down the street. "People are looking at us weird."

The two of you continue to walk to school. Your friend made it their life mission to make fun of you about putting letters in someone's locker. You did your best to ignore her, but everything she was saying was right.

You don't like confrontation. Check You stutter when you try to talk to people you don't know. Check You forget things when you try to talk to new people. Check You are too shy to say what's on your mind. Check Lastly, you ignore your feelings and yourself. Check

So what are letters in someone's locker going to prove? The courage? No. The skills to talk? No point in learning who someone is? Partially. Then what's the real reason why you are writing these love letters?

"To get the thoughts out of my brain. Even if he doesn't know. I know he's at least seeing them." You respond to your friend while jotting down the notes from today's lecture.

She sighs wondering what is going on in your head. She knows you don't really speak your mind. So what are love letters going to do?

You made it home and opened your notebook to a clear page. You looked at your pens to find a nice one that had smooth ink on the paper. Everything had to be perfect, he had to know that someone cared for him.

After what felt like an eternity of thinking you finally thought of some cute little sentences for the first love note.

"You barely know me, but I feel like I know so much about you. Your cleaning habits, how you think you are the best. Well, you are the best. At least in my eyes. My eyes can't look away from you when you talk in class."

You put the pen done and looked back at your writing. You didn't like it too well but for the first letter, you don't want to be complicated and long like you have been stalking him for years. You fold up the letter put cute stickers on it and put it in your backpack.

The next day you wait for your friend to stop by our house so you guys can walk together.

"Have you written the letter?" She asked looking in your direction with a grin on her face.

You took away from her down on the ground with a little smile on your face. "Yes, it's short. Nothing too sweet."

"I can't believe you." Your friend teased you the whole walk to school about the letters.

When you finally arrived at school someone took away your best friend. They were from her club so you let it slide, thought it took you both by surprise when someone grabbed her and walked away.

Now it was your chance to slide the letter into his locker. You went to his locker and slid the note in the slit. You then ran away into the bathroom so you could hide away.

You look in the mirror while washing your hands. Your cheeks were like a fireplace, this was your first time doing anything like this. After regaining yourself you walk out of the bathroom and to your next class.

"Did you slide the letter in his locker?" She asked leaning on your desk.

You couldn't face your friend otherwise she would make fun of you more. "Yes, I did." Though your voice also spoke more than need be.

Your friend chuckled at you, "It was just a letter. Calm down. Who says he's even read it yet?" She sat in her seat in front of you, her body still facing you. "Don't be shy, {Y/n}. You just wrote a love letter to a guy that has more steam than a boat."

"Hey," You lifted your head to look at your friend. She had a big smirk on her face when she saw you. You hide your face when you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. "Shut up."

She laughs before turning around to face the class. The teacher walks in and class goes as normal. Besides that fact, you couldn't stop thinking about the note you slit in his locker.

When class was finished Baro Shoei opened his locker to be greeted with a letter that fell to the ground. He bent down to pick it up. There were a bunch of cute flower stickers around it, which were won from a prize machine for some sort of award.

He put the letter in his pocket for later. He went to his next class forgetting about the letter until he got home. As he was cleaning his school jacket he found the letter from earlier.

He opened the letter to be surprised by a love letter. Love letters were common in the school, but for him to receive one. It was like a blue moon, hell there is more of a chance for a blue moon than Baro getting a love letter. He opened the letter and read it through.

He pinned another love poem to the wall, and the collection kept getting bigger with each passing day. They all started the same, "I know you don't know me." Then the rest of the poems were her pouring her heart out.

They all had the same handwriting, the same pen, the same signature. It all leads to one particular person themselves, {L/n} {Y/n}.

The next day at school {Y/n} had put another letter in his locker. There he was waiting from afar to go grab the letter. They have gotten used to dropping off the letters, and they no longer rush to the bathroom to wash off their face.

You drop off Baro's love letter for the day and catch up with your friends. You have gotten more comfortable with life and yourself. However old habits don't die hard.

"What did the letter say today?" Your friend teased getting real close to your face.

Your face rushed on heat when you thought back to the letter. "I know you don't know me, but I know you. I know you so much more now through these letters..."

Baro took the note from his locker and put it in his pocket so he could hand it on the wall when he gets home. It has been about two months since this all started and Baro figured out who the person was about a week in when he saw a paper of yours. The same handwriting and the same pen.

After School Baro was waiting at the spot you usually wait for your friends.

As you were walking to your normal waiting stop you saw someone there. 'Baro' You stop walking when you realize who it was. You were shocked and wanted to back away, that was until he saw.

Baro looked at the time and then back at his surroundings. Then he saw you walking toward him. He called you over, loud and clear. Pretty much for the whole school to hear.

You stop in your tracks wanting to cower away in embarrassment. Since he already called, you had no choice but to walk over to him. You took a deep breath in and out. Your whole body was shaking, and your knees felt weak like they could give out at any moment.

You were unable to move anywhere, partially due to the fact that you couldn't move away. Your body wouldn't let you, and Baro had you in a corner. With a piece of paper in his hand.

You know what this was about, and so did he. This was his plan after all.

"Need anything, Baro-kun?" You ask not sure what to say.

He stayed silent for a while making the tension grow stronger and your body heating up like a furnace. He finally spoke and you realized everything you did was so, you.

"You're really bad at hiding things. Every letter was the same, the pen the handwriting. Your morals never changed along with handwriting. For the first 3 days, you were easy to figure out, but you kept going." Baro held the letter and gave it to you. "And maybe you shouldn't have used the same stickers you use on your folders."

You were too stunned to speak and too shocked to react. He caught you, the one thing you wished not to happen has happened and you didn't know what to do. You could only sheepishly laugh at his remark.

You look behind Baro to see your friends looking at you, yet here you are being confronted by who you think is the man for you and for your future.

He may not look like a good husband on the outside. He may not even look like a person to talk to. But on the inside.

On the inside On the inside, he is a perfect man.

He can cook for you He can clean for you. He'll take care of you.

Baro Shoei is the man for me. He may know me. He may look at me.

I'll care for him and he'll take care of me till the end of time.

That was the last letter you left in his locker. Along with it was the last letter of the school year. It certainly wasn't the last letter you left for him though. Every morning Baro would have a letter by the side of his bed, and he would have one waiting for him when he got home.

The both of you made a bigger wall dedicated to all your letters. All of them still had the same pen, the same handwriting, the same signature, and the same stickers throughout all the years.

For the long 3 years, everything was the same in the letters. You poured your heart out to him even if you two were together. You still wrote all your thoughts down on the notes and Baro loved every single one of them. You knew he loved them from the way he kept them in order all the wall easy to read from afar.

a/n: thanks for your request. I loved writing this and I hope it reached your expectations :).

[urlocaldesertdweller]

Reader X Mafia! Venture pt2

ah yes the wanted and requested pt 2

(PLEASE READ PT 1 BEFORE READING THIS, or don't idc)

https://www.tumblr.com/urlocaldesertdweller/757756682688495616/reader-x-mafia-venture?source=share

srry yall i took the more wholesome route cuz im a wuss. :,)I made Venture a hopless romantic cheesy kind of possessive person.?? help me (I also confirmed them listening to love songs during all of this thinking about u<3)

That one night you encountered the Sloan Cameron, you thought it was the only time you were going to see them, you thought that was that. You really thought you were going to have a normal life after that.

It's only been so many eventless days after that night that you noticed these "gifts" appear on your front door. First was a bouquet of thornless yellow roses. Considering you always doubted your own beauty and looks, you thought it was a mistake until you picked it up to find a pale brown envelope with "To (Y/n)" written in a yellow glitter gel pen.

In this city, you would've had the right mind to not pick anything suspicious with your name on it, the number of horrible things people can plan to lure people out of their protective homes to sweep them away. But considering you almost seem to be known for making bad choices you pick it up and rush into your safe home quickly locking it and shutting your blinds.

You felt like a little detective when you set the flowers and letters on the table under the light looking for anything you can find. A sign, a signal, a message something can bring a thought or an idea to your head but nothing came up until you finally opened the letter. Everything was written in what seemed to be an attempt at cursive and many smudges and cross-outs with more ink can be seen it makes you chuckle. This love letter you see looks like a messy 5th-grade paragraph.

"Well, you finally got the courage to pick up this letter mi amor! If you manage to figure out who sent this, well you got me! But anyway I just wanted to send you this so you wouldn't be too scared when more gifts come your way. I'll keep things simple for your pretty head gorgeous. You caught the eye of a dangerous but sweet person you have already met, everything you do and say makes my heart skip a beat more than any heist I can pull off. I want to give you every rose in the world and make you mine for the rest of my life. You truly catch my eyes more than any other relic or artifact from the past."

You have to admit that whoever wrote this was clearly in some cheesy romantic mood, but being honest the words made your stomach stir with clear interest despite the red flags appearing in your head. But looking further into the letter to find much smaller text, it seem that they completely had given up on the cursive and went back to normal handwriting.

"-P.S. If you know who I am (did I make it too obvious?) Please find me during the night, but you won't find me but I'll certainly find you! ;)"

You feel your hand twitch wanting to slap yourself in the face feeling the second-hand embarrassment radiating off of this goofy letter. You didn't have to think too hard about wondering who could've sent such a letter. You turn to the bouquet, picking it up. You inhale the sweet subtle scent, these would certainly brighten up the place along with its beautiful fragrance.

The realization finally hits you as you fill up your best vase with water. Someone likes you. Not only that but they like you enough to send you roses with a cheesy letter full of effort. Until your heart stops to remember who likes you, you know easily it's Sloan Cameron. But why? What could have possibly caught their interest about you.? Not only were you going to confront Sloan but you were going to question them.

It's night once more, you have mentally prepared yourself for this moment as you pull your jacket on. A normal life they said, a normal life that feels so out of reach now with a gang member having a crush on you. These past few days have certainly been full of mixed feelings, to say the least.

You step to your door, and you hesitate to reach for the knob a million thoughts rush to your mind. One was thinking about Sloan waiting for you and they will be waiting with a weapon in their hand, another says that they'll kidnap you and keep you as a love toy or something weird like that... It's really telling how you were feeling with most of the thoughts ending in a negative and dreadful outcome.

No, you can do this! If you can watch them bury a body, and outrun them, you can certainly face them when they supposedly confess to you about like like you. Yeah, you can do this!

You throw your palm onto the knob, completely ignoring the fact you just drenched it in your own sweat, but you swing the door open and step out with confidence! You were almost full of too much confidence as you nearly left the house with the door wide open, you scramble to lock it as you huff returning to your nightly stroll.

Of course, you always felt like something was watching you even before your encounter with Sloan. You stuff your hands into your pockets, and you keep on glancing all over the streets even taking a look from the rooftops as if Sloan would be there watching you from above like Batman.

It would be some time until you thought of walking towards where you first found Sloan, at the rotting graveyard where you caught them slacking during their work. You huff watching the environment change in minutes until you finally stop at the edge of the dry grass looking upon the tombstones.

You realize that where the fresh hole was now filled up with a pile of dirt with a wooden cross. You figured that this was the grave that Sloan Cameron just finished days ago. Despite Sloan killing numbers of people you can't even imagine, you felt that it was somewhat bittersweet for them to have some sort of respect to give the people proper graves.

You hummed and whistled shuffling around waiting. You almost thought about moving somewhere else until you heard boots echo through the small alley from your side you saw a figure in the shadows which made you jump a little. You seemed to always act innocent and dumb during situations like these.

"Hello.?"

You say loud enough to echo towards the walls of the alley. The figure starts to walk toward you, and the long silence makes you more nervous thinking there's a good chance that this isn't Sloan. Your legs feel the blood rush and you feel like running all of a sudden.

You panic as the figure starts to run towards you, they are too close for you to even try to run. You yelp to see the shadow enter the light. Even though you see Sloan stop right in front of you, you are still scared as you pull your hands up defensively with a yelp.

"Please dont hurt m-!"

"(Y/n) calm down it's just me!"

You hear them giggle which frustrates you with how cheery they can act after almost giving you a heart attack.

"...Sloan! Dont ever scare me like that again! I thought you were some crook wanting to kill me.."

You lightly shove them in the shoulder with a pout. They only keep on chuckling which makes you almost want to break your sternness for a moment.

"Alright alright I won't do it again I promise mi joya!"

They say with a wink which reminds you of why you came out here in the first place. You keep a stern look which seems to get the message towards Sloan and they almost seem to look like a kicked puppy. Besides the butthurt look, they can tell that you want to say something. You take this moment to finally take a peek at their clothing, it seems that they were still wearing the same work outfit but lost the thick jacket allowing you to glance at their well-built arms, the loss of their jacket gives you the possible idea that they were off duty.

"...What is it.? What happened.? Did you not like my gift.?!"

They seem to say everything out in a heartbeat clearly worried about what you are going to say. You only sigh and push a finger towards their lips hushing them before they can assume what's wrong. You tighten your eyes to which theirs widen but they quickly pipe down.

"You think too much. Just let me talk okay!?"

They dont bother with moving away from your placed finger and they nod with a mhm! Again you ask yourself how someone like them got such a dangerous and dark job.

"First of all. The flowers were nice and so I thank you."

You watch them smile a little clearly feeling proud of themselves that you liked at least half of their gift but they are quite down to hear you out once more.

"But! The letter dear god the letter..."

They cough and you watch their faces upturn into a nervous smile as they shuffle uncomfortably tugging on the collar of their tucked button-up.

"I dont know what to think honestly. And I was hoping that tonight could be where we can talk about this...thing you have on me. That's all, don't get all sweaty and scared yet!"

They look like they have been holding their breath for a while you guess suspecting a complete rejection. They exhale and they bend over their bends catching their breath before quickly shooting back up bright as ever.

"...Yeah we can talk! Yep, talking is my...number one thing heh..."

Never mind they still seem tense around you. You only sigh as you shift on your feet wanting to move around instead of staying at this gloomy graveyard.

"You dont have to keep up an act with me, I just want a simple walk and talk with you, set some ground rules know.?"

They perk up and step aside letting you leave the graveyard first with a bow. You can't help but chuckle at their charm with you, you can't deny that it warms your heart a little at the thought. You step out from the rotting wood fences and Sloan follows behind you eventually walking up beside you, you notice that ever since they have been keeping almost a look on you not the creepy kind but the more admiration kind which makes you chuckle.

"So... Was it all too much.? Yknow in the letter.?"

You look at Sloan with a small grin.

"Being honest, yeah if I hadn't met you before I would definitely think that I'd have a stalker."

They feel their cheeks redden up and they look down at the sidewalk stuffing their hands in their pants pockets.

"But whatever is going on, between you and me right now. I'm just going to need some time to think right now okay.? That's all I need, you can send all of the gifts to your heart's content but if you want you and me to know be a thing much more talking and discussions will be in order.!"

They lift their head and look up at you with a small grin, they look at you like a fallen angel for you gifting them a chance. You bump your shoulder into theirs jokingly to lighten the mood to which they find themselves giggling and bumping back.

"Me? Oh yeah! I'm surprised you haven't called the cops on me for finding me during my job! It's a gift alone that you are even talking to me with my kind of reputation! But yeah you can take all the time you need."

The two of you share a comfortable moment of silence seems that both of you are content with how this meeting is going. As you walk further up the street you pass the bar you left that one late night that led the two of you first meeting. You thought that you were going to pass and eventually do a turnaround until you felt Sloan's hands grip on your wrist stopping you right in front of the large entrance.

"Hey, my gang owns this building and bar yknow.? There is a really nice view from the high levels I promise you!"

Before you can even turn to look at them to speak they whip out their best puppy eyes shining straight into yours, they tug on your sleeve hoping that you play along...walking into the same building the gang that your supposed stalker also works for.? Yeah, you are dead before you know it. You only sigh which sends the signal to them and they smile the biggest you've seen them smile and before you know it they pull you towards the entrance ignoring the long line that stretches along the street then cuts around the corner.

You remember waiting in this long line just to get a good drink, you feel the pairs of eyes burn holes into your back as Sloan stops in front of a tall bodyguard who only glances at you and then at Sloan.

"Heya Tuilp! ...Dont worry about them, they are my guest!"

Tulip grunts and nods and Sloan drags you into the bar where the music blasts and the whole mood seems to shift in the main bar. The bar already made you feel out of your element until you had some drinks to relax your nerves.

But Sloan glances at you and giggles then continues to guide you through and past the main Bar to where the overall vibe and aesthetic of the building changes to one of more professionalism. From the high ceiling to the complete sets of marble walls and flooring. The glass elevator further amazes you and you are tuck in with Sloan. Your gaping mouth at everything tells Sloan everything about you during this.

"So I can tell you haven't been in this part of the building before!"

"This place is...certainly gorgeous..."

If the bar alone made you feel the odd one out, this much cleaner rich lobby-looking room made you feel like a wanted target. Sloan pushes one of the highest buttons and before you know it the elevator shoots up faster than you could think, which makes your heart race, the feeling alone of quickly gaining height makes your legs shake...it also didn't help that you had a bit of a fear with heights.

Sloan leans forward noticing your yelp then quick silence, soon watching your shaky legs they know. They can't help themselves so they grab onto your hand and hold it tight. You look at them and only grin and soon enough your mind starts to focus on the warm skin-to-skin contact between your hands instead of the continuing elevator.

Soon enough you hear a ding and the doors open behind you. And you smell the fresh air and feel the cool wind hit you, Sloan still holding on your hand interlocks your fingers into theirs and they lead you out into the warm night. You eventually let go of their hand and you walk towards the railing.

"Pretty nice huh.? I like to come out here from time to time when times get too rough for me..."

They join you by your side on the railing looking at you with a smirk seeing your stare into the sky. Sloan wasn't kidding, although you could easily see the stars back down from the streets. All the way up on the building Sloan's gang owned, you couldn't help but feel closer to the night sky and further away from the chaotic city. You feel yourself leaning on the railing feeling your eyes never cease to pull away from the tinkling and blinking stars.

"This is beyond beautiful..."

The two of you continue to look upon the shiny sky, the moon is bright enough to place a light on the two of you. Your eyes finally break away to look around on the surrounding floor. You quickly realize now that this was the sky roof and a part of the roof garden. Now you know how Sloan got the roses for you, you can't help but think that this was slightly planned by Sloan and you eye them up with a smirk before nodding towards the large garden. Surprisingly everything looks happy and thriving for living in a city like this.

"Did you plan on taking me up here to the garden as well, ya charmer..."

"Well, you could say that I did have some sort of plan to show you one of the prettiest places I know! I'd just thought it could be nice to share it with someone who isn't from the gang yknow.?"

You walk further into the garden, and you hear Sloan's boots thump against the floor which makes your heart beat just a little faster, you never thought that you could have such a fun time with a gang member on a rooftop. You turn all around to look at the variations of plants ranging from vegetables, and fruits, to flowers.

"Oh? Would you say that all of this gang stuff weighs down on you from time to time.?"

They stay quiet and you turn to look at them with a look of concern.

"..."

"I'll take that as a yes then..."

You'd figure on changing the subject with taking their hand in yours and taking them towards the thorny rose bushes. A wave of the scent reaches you sense and you hum hopping to talk about roses instead of prodding with personal business with Sloan. They already seem to set their mind on the flowers, they take in a white rose in their hand cupping it, and bring it close to their nose. They slowly inhale and exhale seeming much more happier now which makes you relieved.

"Good to know where the roses came from then.!"

You chuckle as you glance at the bright moon finally noticing how bright it is with being able to see your...at this point, you'd forget with names and call them your date considering how intimate this is looking. They chuckle finally pulling away from the roses to look at you with the sweetest smile, maybe it was your unnecessary jacket for tonight but you felt a little warmer with their smile towards you.

"Yeah, I always looked for the best for you!"

The two of you share a laugh comfortably together once more until you hear a click... This makes the both of you widen and awake, but it seems that Sloan looks more nervous than you, which makes your heart race.

"Um, Sloan what was-!"

They grab onto your hand running which makes you yelp, you hear one more click then you realize what it was. Timed sprinklers, water shoots out all over the place. At that moment it almost felt like the sprinklers were getting more water on you and Sloan than the actual plants...

You both scream as you feel your clothes get soaked with water giving the extremely uncomfortable feeling of the clothes sticking to your skin. You walk too far into the rather large garden, and you watch Sloan just stop in the middle still getting hit with water they turn towards you their hair no longer fluffy and messy. You both look into each other's eyes feeling a message being sent through eye contact.

You can't bear your awful jacket anymore and you finally shuck it off feeling completely relieved and feeling 10 pounds lighter. Honestly the water eventually just felt like a nice outdoor shower...with your date.

"..."

"..."

You share a moment of silence before breaking out into a fit cheering and jumping. You had to admit the city would have its heatwaves even during the night somehow so this felt heavenly. It takes you a moment to realize that Sloan wrapped their arms around your waist and your jumps match in rhythm. Honestly, you didn't care what they did to you because, in your equally messed up head, you felt yourself catching feelings for the Mole.

"Whoo! This is amazing!!!"

"...I LOVE LIFE!!!!!!"

Eventually, the sprinklers stop leaving the two of you soaked, you stop jumping and you have nothing else to do but look at each other. Maybe it was the soaked feeling kicking in. Maybe it was Sloan holding you by the waist. But you felt yourself leaning in forward...

Honestly, when you closed your eyes you didn't know what to expect but you felt something soft against your lips. You open your eyes to see that Sloan is holding a freshly plucked rose between your lips and theirs. You felt a little embarrassed not only with how Sloan juked you but also realizing how much you fell for this person. Nevertheless, you pull away to watch them grow a smirk and they chuckle. You playfully beat against their shoulder which only makes them laugh harder to the point they start to wheeze.

They drop you on the ground as they hold their chest and whip a tear away.

"Oh my! I'm sorry I couldn't help it I'm sorry!"

You quickly find a way to get back at them by taking advantage of them being busy with laughing. You cup their cheek which stops them completely and you lean in to peck their wet cheek with your lips. They go from a laughing mess to a flushed stuttering mess, they bring their hands to their face trying hard to cover it.

"I wasn't ready... How dare you surprise me! Mind you I loved it but...yknow.!"

You only grab on their arm now you are the one dragging them away out of the gardens to find some method to dry each other off...

i did it :,) im rlly hoping yall like it even if I went the more cliche cringy route, maybe soon I can write a different more dark route if you want!

[shhh-secret-time]

HIII could you do Kyle x reader where it's a soulmate au?? plsss and thank uuu

Anon you were so patient with me! Thank you! And thank you for requesting my favorite boy! I'm so down bad for the sweet red head.

Warning: Strong Language, Tooth-Rotting Fluff

Pairings: Kyle x GN!Reader

'Oh my god! I'm going to fucking kill him.'

The tips of your fingers traced the golden ink like sentence on your palm, watching as the cursive font danced across your skin. It happened every morning at eight on the dot, a new sentence would sketch itself into your skin. When it first happened, you thought maybe someone drew on you when you weren't paying attention, especially since the next day the words changed. But the font was beautiful and shimmered in the light, what pen could do something like that?

Later as the years went by you learned that apparently you had a soulmate, and these were their thoughts. Whoever they were scared you sometimes with the things they thought about, usually very violent thoughts. It made you wonder what type of person they were. I mean you were sure they wouldn't act on it; you've thought tons of things but that didn't mean you were a bad person. It almost made you wonder what your soulmate thought of your inner voice.

South Park was a small town, not many people chose to actually live in a town that was riddled with a backwater run down mentality. It was famous for all the wrong reasons, but that meant everyone kind of knew each other, or at the very least of each other. The kids you went to elementary with followed you to middle and you followed them to high school. Now here you were in community college sitting in the library with the few people you could call friends.

Bebe Steven's was the first person to call you a friend, so her friends became yours, adopting you into their little group. A close-knit group of people who cared about you, what more could you ask for?

"I can't do it anymore Wendy, please!" Speaking of the blonde, the poor girl was slumped over the table with her cheek pressed into the math textbook. Her bottom lip was poking out and if you didn't know her so well you would swear those crocodile tears were real.

"Bebe you barley passed the last test, and that's because you were copying off of Nicole!" Wendy sighed as she gave into the pitiful whine of her friend, reaching over to pat the top of her curls.

"I knoooow but can't we just have a little break? Pleaaaase! I need to spill some tea!" Bebe sprung up and you knew what was coming. Bebe had a secret weapon, the most powerful puppy eyes in South Park. Before Wendy could avert her eyes, she delivered the killing blow. "Please Wendy? Just ten minutes~ it's super hooooot tea~."

You smiled softly at the both of them, shooting Wendy a look of pity as you watched in real time her lose the internal battle. Wendy's shoulders slumped forward, and she finally smiled.

"Fine...ten minutes and then we're going back to work."

"Yes!" Bebe cheered as she threw her arms around Wendy, pulling her into a tight hug. "SO, guess who found their soulmate!"

You tensed up at the subject maybe without even realizing it, you pulled your sleeve over your palm and held it up to your mouth. You had a horrible habit of chewing on your bottom lip to keep yourself from protesting the conversation.

"Who?"

"Mercedes!"

"Like...waitress Mercedes?"

"Yeaaah! Ugh she's so lucky! I wanna find mine already! At least you're in the same boat I am." Pulling herself from Wendy, Bebe turned to look at you with a smile.

"Y... yeah. Wait Wendy is too, isn't she?" You muttered past your sleeve.

"No! Wendy already knows hers! She's just not doing anything about it!" Bebe sneered and crossed her arms under her chest, her lips pursed into a pout.

"But...why?"

"I just want to focus on me right now. School is important and I don't know, I've got time." Wendy replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

You stared at her in awe, there were times when you couldn't help but admire her. Wendy seemed like she had it all figured out, like she knew what she wanted from life and wasn't afraid to grab ahold of it.

Maybe you should take a page from her book, start doing things for you. The fear of your soulmate being some terrifying violent person shouldn't stop you from at least trying to find them.

It was as if the conversation was breathing life back into Bebe, she perked up and grinned at you. But when your eyes met hers all you could see was the mischief in them, if you didn't know better you'd swear it was excitement.

"Apparently the closer you get to your soulmate the words on your palm with change! You'll be able to tell what they're thinking in real time! Haaaave yours changed yet?" Bebe sung out, her hands reaching across the table to gentle take yours.

She flipped your hand over, so your palms were facing up, her beautiful done red nails seemed to contrast yours. She traced them across the font on your palm with a hum. "Or are you like Wendy and you're waiting? You've gotta know right?"

"N...no I don't. I've been-", you stopped and bit your bottom lip again, "... kind of afraid to find out who it is."

"What? Why?" Bebe took your hand and gave it a squeeze like she was trying to reassure you to keep going.

That's when you pulled your sleeve up the whole way so she could see the rest of the sentence. Their eyes widened and silence fell over the three of you. You kept your eyes on your lap as you let them read it so you missed Wendy's little head tilt. The words ringing in her ears like she could hear it. No, it couldn't be...could it?

"Well, they're just thoughts, right? It's not like whoever it is will actually do it! Come on hun you can't let that stop you! Just, like, pay extra close to your palm today! There might be something sweet on there if they're nearby!"

You furrowed your brows at that if they were nearby? Maybe it was a little harder to tell when everyone in the school wore gloves because of how cold it was, you included. After a few moments of debating between everything you nodded at her and decided you'd keep your gloves off today. With that Wendy's phone chimed letting your little group know that your ten minutes were up, and it was time to get back to studying, but now you were out of it. You couldn't focus on learning anything else but your palm, watching the font like if you blinked you'd miss it.

But nothing changed, the threat on your palm stayed for the rest of the study session. With a sigh you packed your things and got ready to leave the library, the girls hugging you tightly as they went their own way. Leaving into the halls of the school, passing past other students whose voices seemed to fade into the background. But despite your attempts to smother everyone else out, no one could really tune out South Park's famous boys. Stan and Kyle were standing by their lockers talking and for once it was Stan that seemed to be getting under Kyle's skin.

"Dude, this is the fourth time you've blown me off! Come on, we made these plans last week!"

"I know man, but the band needs me! We've got a gig coming up and we have to get more practice in! I'm sorry Kyle, I'll make it up to you!" Stan shot him an apologetic look.

Kyle sighed and simply rolled his eyes, "Sure dude, one of these days I'm going to cash in all of the times you said you'll make it up to me."

Stan let out a laugh and wrapped his arm around the taller man's neck bringing him down to his level. You smiled at the both of them, you didn't know Stan very well, but Kyle was always nice to you. You admired the fact that he always spoke his mind, whoever his soulmate was had to be the luckiest person on earth. Not only because of how sweet he was, but again he always spoke his mind, there was no guessing at what he was thinking. You peered down at your palm again and blinked in surprise, it had changed.

'He's lucky he's my best friend.'

Oh. Oh.

'Are they looking at me? Do I have something on my face?'

You could feel your heart rate pick up, eyes bouncing between your palm and Kyle. Your head was now on a swivel looking around as if the answers would emerge out of the many groups walking around. When Stan broke away from Kyle with his guitar on his back, the red head began putting his books away. There you stood, glued to this spot watching him with intense eyes. So, when he turned and saw your passionate gaze he couldn't help but flinch on the spot, but he couldn't tear his eyes from you.

Your palm changed again. You couldn't believe it. Just a minute ago you were telling your two best friends about how you were afraid to meet your soulmate and now here he was. This felt almost too cliche, like the universe was tired of you trying to run from it. And now here you were standing in the hall, a few steps away from someone who was supposed to be yours. Did he know? Probably not from how quiet you were and how you liked to keep to yourself. So now here you were with all that knowledge and nowhere to run.

'Their eyes are so pretty; I don't know why I've never noticed before.'

Was he trying to kill you? You felt the compliment go straight to your heart, making it speed up. Your face was turning red at his words, even if he didn't say them, you could almost hear them. You felt something in your chest tug you towards him, like your heart was leaping in his direction and demanding that you listen to it. Kyle watched as you made your way to where he was standing, moving through the halls like nothing else matters.

"Um...hey, is everything okay?" Kyle nervously looked down at you, he couldn't help wondering why his heart was racing so hard.

Sure, you were attractive, but that wasn't all you were. Sure, he really liked your laugh when he heard you talking with Bebe and Wendy, and he secretly wished he made you laugh like that. Sure, you had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, but he would never tell you that. How could he? What if you thought he was a freak and oh my god you're saying something and he's not paying attention.

"- so yeah, can you take your gloves off for me?"

"H-huh my gloves? Uh sure." Kyle shook himself out of his trance, he didn't know why you needed his gloves off but that was his fault for not paying attention.

As he removed his gloves you got a glance at his palm looking for any signs of words on his palm.

'I never realized how tall he is.' Those were your thoughts. Your thoughts were on his palm, and he doesn't even realize it yet.

"Did you need to borrow them? Are you cold?" He's asking you with such a soft voice, care laced in his tone.

"No no I just um okay this is going to sound really strange... b-but can you think of an animal for me?"

"An... animal? Like my favorite animal?"

"Sure. That works." You chuckled at the confusion on his face, brows furrowed together in deep thought which was exactly what you wanted.

'Fox.' That's cute.

"Your favorite animal is a fox?" You asked looking up from your palm with a smile.

"Huh but I... how did-" He stopped. The whole situation came crashing down onto him, his mouth opened to say something, but nothing would come out. So now he just looked like a fish gasping for air.

"Yeah I- wow this is it. I think you're my soul-mate Kyle." As you showed him your palm you almost had to laugh about how many times you've flashed it at people today.

Those deep forest green eyes of his watched the golden light on your palm swirl and change as his thoughts did. The tips of his ears turn red as he desperately tries to keep his thoughts under control, soulmate or not he didn't want to scare you off with stupid shit his brain comes up with.

"Is um...is your favorite animal on my palm too?" No. It wasn't.

'His eyes are like emeralds.'

"You think my eyes are like emeralds?"

"You think my smile is cute?" You shot back with a small smirk making him look away, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

Kyle and you stood in silence for a few moments, hearts racing and nervous shifting from foot to foot. "So, um...my weekend is free do you wanna grab a coffee?"

"I'd love to get coffee with you Kyle~" You let out a laugh, your hand coming up to cover your smile, but it was stopped by his.

The warmth of his hand beating back the chill of yours, they were softer than you thought they'd be. His thumb nervously rubs against your knuckles enjoying the way your hand felt in his, so much smaller but it fit so perfectly. Kyle smiled brightly at your response, a wave of relief washing over him and a breath he didn't know he was holding. He took the first step towards the door with you in tow, a soft glow between the both of you. Something deep inside of you felt complete, like pieces of a puzzle or links of a chain.

[bloomingdarkgarden]

answering this in a separate post so I could keep your email to myself. But wow. I'm totally floored by this one @lunaatthezoo These are very affecting words and I can't say what it means to hear them. There is a level of vulnerability in wbitd that I can't entirely name, but my readers seem to feel it. This story has been born from the softest and truest place within me and it is terrifying to share that part of one's self with the world/ open internet. Particularly in a notoriously unkind community. I am very moved that anyone is affected by my prose. I'm laying myself bare with this thing. My readers can feel that, seemingly, and it is you all are making a garden of whatever is within me. The real MVPS are those of you supporting this while its still in progress, honestly. You are the ones I will remember long after its done, who took the time to send things like this, who inspired the journey to be flushed to completion, who encouraged the words to be pried free when I was scared to share them, who believed this story was worth telling. Who read it and didn't just close the browser, but reached out. On the hardest days, you all keep a pen in my hand. So thank you for being here, and making the effort to share the details of why it struck home for you. I may be the one writing, but without you all, I would have no ink. 1. I would die to hear those songs. 2. The drunken archeron dinner scene is arguably my favorite in the story, thank god someone enjoyed it lol. 3. I absolutely will take you as my editor, first pick. I've been planning to get to that a wee bit closer to the finish line. Who writes a full-length fanfic novel with no betas? ehoney. Every spare hour I have is spent writing the damn thing, and I'm still sort of randomly adding bits to earlier chapters here and there. But soon, I'd love to enlist your services. 4. Pregnant and boring had me loling- you are creating life, which is the least boring thing ever. All my love.

[cristaq]

How about Soap's stream of consciousness?

I need to complete these reports, it’s already afternoon? Need more free time for training… More training remember that you are weak, useless, the pen is out of fucking ink. Need a new one. More time for PT, it’s never enough. It will be a pain to run in this heat. Especially with the equipment. Tired, useless, Price? Any news about Price? Price, Price is dead. Maybe not? Is he? Kiss him, hold him, he was warm. We used to sneak out during smoke breaks. I always forget the lighter. Just so I can light mine from his. Why is it so hot in here?! More PT, God you are fucking useless be better! Price, where are you? What would you think of me? I think I did good with Roach and Ghost. Did Roach file that draft? I could use a smoke… Where can I find a damn pen? Price! Price is dead maybe not maybe yes shut up 

“Captain?”

“What?!” Soap snaps without really realising. He is sitting at his usual desk going through reports about their last deployment. The room is drowned in the soft light of the afternoon. Roach remains behind the door’s frame, not daring to move an inch. He doesn’t look scared though.

“Jesus, I am sorry…” He rubs his face with his palm, trying to regain his composure. “Didn’t really get enough sleep last night…”

“Do you ever, Captain?” Roach finally approaches the desk with a smirk. He is well attuned by now to his Captain’s outbursts. He holds out a folder. “More reports related to the Petropavlovsk gulag.” Soap opens it and scans the papers.

Petropasvlosk… no, petropavlosk… petro something. High value prisoners. Price? No, Price is dead. Printer must be broken, there are ink stains here. Makarov is eyeing a prisoner. We could be there first. An assault on Russian soil? Almost like the time we saved Nikolai. We shutted down the power. How’s Kamarov doing? Been a while. He outlived Gaz and Price. Price is alive though. Maybe. Shut up. Elevation 100 metres. Fuck it’s cold there.

“Maybe we will find him there…”

“Hmm?” Soap lifts his head from the files. He knows what Roach means. He asks nevertheless. “Who’s there?”

“Price.”

Soap folds the paper folder and throws it on the desk and resumes his previous task. Finding a working pen.

“That would be all, Roach. Dismissed.”

“Did I say something wrong?” He just wishes to be there for him.

Soap is finally victorious in his search and lifts the new pen. “Out of my office, sergeant! Now!” He doesn’t look Roach in the eyes.

“Yes sir.” Roach takes his leave but stops on his way to the door. “We will find him, Captain. If you ever need to talk to someone, we are here. I am here.”

Soap doesn’t answer. When the door closes, the cigar smoke starts rising and a teardrop falls on the papers, spreading the ink around.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

[selesera]

I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me

hello! I go by Sel here and I am sharing my first piece of writing with you, tumblr. I want to dedicate this to @the-lonelybarricade because she is the kindest person online and she immediately saw my other post saying I was proud of myself for writing this and said she -sobs- wanted to read it 🥹

This is a short drabble that came out a little sad and angsty but I am a diehard elucien so have hope dear reader! This was inspired by You're losing me by my queen and saviour tswizzie. I'm so sorry in advance for any typos!

__________________________

Lady Elain, 

I write this in the hopes that you will agree to speak with me upon my next visit to Velaris.

It is important and urgent.

Cordially,

Lucien

Elain smoothed out the folded lines of his letter again. Her fingers lightly brushed the letters of his elegant penmanship, terrified of blurring the ink and erasing the way he had written her name. She knew what his “important and urgent” topic was. He was tired of being shackled to her. She could feel his exhaustion, his self hatred, his desperation. Not through the bond, no. She kept her side of that golden string firmly closed. No…she could see his dreams. 

She saw night after night how he confronted her, told her she had to choose. Begging her to choose him. To love him. Or to free him.

Some nights, he would dream that she accepted him and the dream would devolve into a flurry of kisses, wandering fingers, moans and sighs of pleasure. 

Other nights, he would dream she rejected the bond. In those dreams she would stare at her own face, hardened by indifference and disdain. Watch herself coldly stand by as he wept at her feet. Scream at herself to comfort the man - male - that loved her.

She wished she could say those were the worst dreams but she had had the misfortune of seeing his other dreams too. His nightmares. Beron beheading a beautiful fae named Jesminda, wearing an expression on his cruel face much too similar to her own. Hot spikes descending on him. Standing firm against the whips against his back. Screaming as blood red nails dragged down his face. 

The truth was that Elain didn’t know how she felt about being able to see his dreams. On one hand, she felt lucky that she could see the pieces of his history that influenced who he was but that he did not let define him, even as her heart broke at the horrors that he had endured. On the other hand… if she was being honest with herself… it made her angry. 

How dare he make her care about his future? How dare he make her want to soothe and heal every jagged wound to his heart? She was independent. She was not his keeper. She was not the plaything of the cauldron. She would make her own life or die trying! 

At least that’s what she kept telling herself she would do. 

Truthfully, she was scared. How could she be independent in her baby sister’s house? Enjoying all the luxuries that her money bought? She loved Feyre. So much. Had finally created a true relationship with her sister but she still felt stifled. Bored. She couldn’t help thinking that a little distance might do them some good...

One of these days she was going to be able to control her traitorous thoughts… one of these days in her interminably long life.

This is why she hated thinking about him. He always made her question everything about herself, about her life.

Elain looked down again at the letter in her hands. The time had come to respond.

Two pathways emerged in front of her. The first, a path where she chose to stay in her quiet life and let her fear win. The second where fear was still present but sunshine and wildflowers lined the path and a love like no other awaited her.

She put her pen to her paper.

Lucien, 

Please accept my regrets. I will be unavailable during your next trip to Velaris. 

I will endeavour to make myself available on your next visit.

Elain Archeron

[izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin]

Hello I have some fellers for y'all to meet

MEET SMG 8 AND SMG 2, cus cuz why not let's add on to this little bandwagon of eights we got :]

This is SMG 8 ⤴️

And this is SMG 2 ⤴️

Rants about them under cut!

Let's do 8 first!

She is extremely short, like 3 ft and a half kinda short

She is extremely energetic and kind of chaotic

She is the meme guardian of animation memes! And yes I'm talking about the kind that we all went through a phase constantly watching when we were seven

Using the ink pen that she has across her back she can draw anything, and those drawings can come to life aka anything she draws becomes reality

She has a pet Smurgle, here I put an image below so you all know what I'm talking about

She is on par with Mario's level of power but she doesn't use said power because she doesn't want to hurt anybody, she she does use her power is to cause chaos with her friends though >:]

She's a regular at SMG3's restaurant

She is extremely creative plus she has ADHD, and combining that she can practically make anything as long as her mind is up to it

She's good friends with Tori and Boopkins

She is surprisingly dirty minded, she's also the one to always initiate the kiss or the one to push her partner up against the wall and kiss them >:] she's also the one to suggest the dirty times in bed *wink wink*

She is a DemiGirl and lesbian

She is biologicaly male, and no she has not had bottom surgery cus she wants to have babies at some point in her life, also because, and I quote this from 8 themself "its makes me more cunty"

Her pod looks like this

oh dear God what am I doing

Hears some extra details

Her hat design ⤴️

The design of her eyes ⤴️

My head cannon relationships that she has with the other 8's

@bear-boi-5 Smg8 : honest to God she views him as an older brother figure / Uncle figure, also I headcanon that she will sit there and stand in front of him jumping on her heels and grabbing at the air a above her saying "up up!" Over and over until he finally snaps and picks her up, oftentimes she'll climb on his shoulders and just kind of ride around

@strange0-0storm Smg8 : honest to God she imprinted upon him like a baby duck, she will literally just follow him around everywhere he goes, what I'm trying to say is she really looks up to him and she just really really likes him in general, he's also a older brother / Uncle figure for her PS he's the funcle aka fun unkle :]

@mrfellsans Smg8 : she just observes him from afar like he's a creature that must be studied for science and research, she does like him though shes just not too sure about him

Ok let's do 2 now!

She's also pretty short like around like 4 ft tall

She is extremely protective of 8, like if you dare lay a finger on it she will make you say nighty night for a couple of days lafmo

Do you surprisingly strong physically, like the girl has flipping abs and everything

She has a black belt in karate

She has multiple tattoos that are unseen the eye, the only ones that you can see are the ones that go up her arm around the back of her shoulders and down to the other arm (aka the snake one)

Her tail works like an extra hand

She usually keeps her eyes closed like Falin for Dungeon Meshie, she does open them though when she is feeling a strong emotion or just surprised angry aor scared

Have yall ever seen The owl House? If you haven't or if you have two's magic works exactly like how that characters in TOH's works! She does the whole circle in the air thing as well (reference photos so you get the idea of it) also pls go watch The Owl House if you haven't seen it, its really good :]

She's the mean guardian of really old and timeless means, like the whole IS THAT THE BIET OF 87? and BUT THATS JUST A THEORY, A GAME THEORY! She also deals with TV show and movie meams like Cursed cat Alastor and this random ass screenshot for movies that get made into memes

She has a heavy Russian accent

She knows fluent Russian, German, and Japanese

She is female and lesbian

She calls 8 親愛なる and 私の愛 (親愛なる translates to my dear and 私の愛 translates to my love)

She has a pet cursed cat Alastor aka this thing

(oh Lord)

She is a year older than SMG 3 and SMG 4

She's also regular at SMG 3's Cafe

She has a crush on SMG 8 :]

She is super sleep deprived due to her staying up and making theories on games and movies, or just staying up all night watching Mat Pat lafmo

Her pod looks like this

Extra details on her (I'll add the rest later in a diff post)

Her eye design ⤴️

My head cannon relationships that she has with the other 8's

@bear-boi-5 Smg8 : she doesn't trust him at all, the only reason that he's allowed around SMG 8 is because 8 likes him too much for 2 to safely take them out, but if 8 dare lay even a finger on SMG 8 SMG 2 will imady make him say nighty night for a couple days

@strange0-0storm Smg8 : eh shes alright with him, I mean she doesn't fully trust him but it's not to the level of Bear-Boi's 8

@mrfellsans Smg8 : she likes him and considers him a good acquaintance :]

[dawnanddorisqna]

Hey dawn or doris Have you heard of cool world?, or Ralph bakshi

Ooof

Okay...I've been asked about this movie before. A movie Doris said I wasn't allowed to watch. I thought WHY THE HELL NOT! I've seen the most brutal stuff in anime. What could be so bad that this was a no? All she told me was she's seen it once. She had known some toons that appear and felt like she had to, but thought it's best to just leave that in the past.

So obviously, I had to see this. (Don't watch it? How are you going to stop me? streaming exists!)

Late at night, I found it on PlutoTV. I could've watched it when she was out or just in my room, but after all the don't watch talk I wanted to see this in the living room and still treat this like a weird secret. close the blinds, you can't stop me! but no one must know!

At first, It looked like a completely different film from what I expected. Like post war stuff, soldier coming home. Then Brad Pitt's mom is thrown off a motorcycle and shit got....well it GOT!

First off, they call toons doodles. That's cute. I'm forever connected to this. Second, GOOD GOD THIS MOVIE IS HORNY! Like I've seen movies with sex in it. I watched Poor Things. It's whatever. But this! I was alone in the room and felt so uncomfortable! This thing just dry humps your eyes until the end. And Cool world is like going to the seediest alleys in South LA at 1 am, but on like AAAAAALLLLL the drugs.

I'd get into the story, but they were just making up this shit as it went on. "Don't you know that when a noid is kiled by a doodle in the real world they become a noid in cool world!?" What is that?!?! I guess fuck me for asking questions!

BUT! You want to know the weirdest part! Your girl was watching this movie. Your girl who loves horror, animated and live action. I got through this and for whatever reason...I felt scared of this film and disturbed. the whole thing made me feel so uneasy with the look of Cool World. Not the buildings with eyes and teeth, that was scary but like fun scary. I'm talking about when they had rooms with flat board standups, and toons and things floating around, vanishing for no reason. That look actually had me shrinking back into the couch. It was uncanny. Toon Uncanny!

And then the ink pen, the ending with thing flipping from human to toon, a whole wacky world ending thing. I was disturbed, almost sad. WHY WAS I SAD!!??!!? not for any character but like for existence I guess?

This movie was a weird watch and I don't think I can do it again. In the morning I couldn't even keep it a secret. I was still on the couch, looking confused. Doris found me sighed and said "You watched it."

I needed a day outside after that. I found out later that it was first meant to be a horror film. If what I watched wasn't a horror film, how disturbing was it originally going to be?

[luciluck2046-md]

Murder Drones: Glowing Future AU

7. I'm fine

TW: Bullying, Violence, Child Neglect, Depression. Reader discretion is advised

"Uzi..? Hey Uzi, is everything alright?" I hear N whispering to me in the middle of the night. He's slightly pushing me, trying to get me to wake up.

|

"Yeah, what is it?" I mumble.

|

"You were crying..." He responds worried.

|

"What? I wasn't crying-" I respond in defense, but I remember my dream.

It was a memory, if anything. Several ones actually. Back from... When I was 12...

"Uzi, are you sure you're okay?" N asks, even more worried.

|

"... Yes, sorry, I zoomed out." I mumble, pulling the blanket over me.

|

"Uzi, we talked about this, if you feel sad just tell me..." He tells me, even more worried than before.

|

"I'm fine!" I yell annoyed.

.

..

...

I am fine.

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

Memory 1

"HEY EVERYONE, THE GUN'S BACK!" A boy yells, pointing at me when I enter the classroom. It's my second day of school.

Everyone's laughing. I try to ignore him, going to my seat and getting prepared for the next class.

"Why are you so silent? Oh, is skyscraper Uzi trying to look brave?" He laughs at me.

I'm the tallest in my class. I have the height of a 15 year old, when I'm only 12.

I really try to not give him attention, and I keep arranging my pens in the order of their length, from shortest to longest. I don't wish to talk.

"Oh, you think you're though, don't you?" He asks me, angered this time.

I look the other way, but I feel a punch in my arm. I let out a whimper, and I turn to him to ask him to stop. Then he punches me in the screen.

It breaks. There are shards on the floor. I'm crying loudly, trying to hold on to some pieces.

I can feel warm oil on my hands and the sharp glass shards cutting my fingers.

Everyone's laughing. No one's helping.

Why would they help me?

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

Memory 7

"I'm so-sorry! I just w-wanted to see how-" I mumble, but I can't stop the pain. He leaves, and I'm sitting on the floor, next to the dresser.

I'm left alone in a room, with no patches or tape. Only my dear diary, and a pen. No bed, not desk, no nothing.

The pen has no ink either.

I'm always using my oil... Since usually I'm already bleeding. It's funny. I heal quite fast for a worker drone... Everyone's laughing at me because of that...

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

Memory ?

"HAHA, LOOK AT HER! SHE LOOKS SO STUPID LIKE THAT!" Al keeps hitting me, and I'm trying to protect myself by getting all curled next to the wall. Neither my dad or my teacher are doing anything about Alexander...

|

"P-please... S-stop!..." I'm crying, not being able to support the pain.

It's the first time I've talked since I've been at this school. I don't really like how my voicebox sounds...

"GUYS, BIG GUN RIGHT HERE CAN TALK! DID YOU KNOW THAT?" He laughs, punching me in the face.

|

"Ал, прекрати это! / 𝙰𝚕, 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝!" A girl that doesn't speak English tells the boy, and he runs scared from her.

I'm crying, leaning onto the wall of our school. The red eyed girl comes next to me and just sits there.

"Что ты сделал, чтобы он тебя победил? / 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞?" She asks me.

|

"... Nothing... He's been doing this for the past months..." I mumble after a while.

|

"В любом случае, как тебя зовут? я Долл! / 𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎? 𝙸'𝚖 𝙳𝚘𝚕𝚕!" She asks me, ignoring what I told her.

|

"... I'm Uzi Doorman." I say. She smirks sarcastically. Then she mumbles something I cannot understand.

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

"UZI WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I hear N yelling at me. It's the first time he ever yelled at me with both anger and worries.

|

"What is it?" I mumble, pulling the pillow on my head.

|

"Look Uzi, you've been crying again and-" He starts talking.

|

"I. AM. FINE!" I yell.

|

"YOU AREN'T." He says back. "Uzi, you've been crying every night for the past two weeks, and I'm really worried about that..."

|

"Okay, and? It's not a big deal. And again, I'm fine." I mumble.

|

"Stop denying! You're not fine, I can clearly see that... I know I usually give you an option, but this time I'm not letting you do ANYTHING until you tell me what's wrong."

|

"IT'S JUST SOME BAD MEMORIES. They're archived, I'm not going through the hustle to get them back only to suffer by them coming back when I least expect..."

|

"Well those "bad memories" get back to you in your sleep and I cannot stand seeing you cry anymore!"

|

"At least I can't remember them after I wake up..."

|

"IT'S NOT HEALTHY!"

|

"N JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THOSE TIMES! I WAS STUPID AND I MADE MISTAKES, END OF DISCUSSION."

... I started yelling at him..? What has gotten into me...

"Sorry N, I didn't want to yell at you but..." I add guilty. looking at his worried face. "But I have a principle. "Guilty feelings will only hurt me.", and I got enough of only KNOWING how much I fucked up..." I mumble, trying to hide myself under the blanket.

He lifts it up, sitting next to me on the bed.

"Uzi... I doubt that you did anything wrong... Just tell me when you're ready, okay?" He tells me, patting me on my head. "Do you want a hug?" He then asks me, with his arms open.

I nod my head, and shyly hug him.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you..." I whisper.

|

"It's alright now, don't worry about it." He whispers back.

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

... I'm all alone at home right now.

Dad's at work and mom's at Doll's house with Tessa and D.

I think I should unarchive those memories... Maybe N can actually help, I mean... If he knows the problem, he can solve it, and I've never seen him not solve a problem he wants to solve.

"О чем эти воспоминания? / 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝?" Doll asks me.

|

"Shit from when I was 12. I think you know what I'm talking about." I mumble. "So do not talk to me about it. I even deleted some of them."

|

"How Can You, Want To Hide, Your Memories." Cyn asks me.

|

"BECAUSE THEY'RE FROM AN OLD ME. A me that didn't have a principle in life. A me that didn't know anything..." I explain. "Guilty feelings will only hurt me." I add. That's my principle.

That's been my principle ever since something happened. I don't remember that event. I know I clearly deleted it. And I do not want to get that memory back.

I literally deleted my capability of feeling guilty or asking for forgiveness or stuff like that. So it wasn't expected to feel those things whenever I did something to hurt N...

"Why Don't, You Just Delete The, Memories You Hate." Cyn asks me.

|

"But I did that. Memories that I absolutely hate. Only those." I mumble.

I don't want to delete EVERY memory I don't like. I already can't remember two thirds of my life, I don't need to erase even more. I don't remember anything from before 12. I have been trying to find out for a long time, but I gave up on that three years ago.

I now go to my files and start unarchiving those memories...

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

"Oh Uzi... Why would you do it..?" N asks me, trying to console me. He just got home from school, only to see me cry in the corner of my bed.

I've been crying for the past two hours. When the memories unarchived... They were just too many, way too fast. Even I can't understand what's going on with them, and hearing every single one of them at once is slowly killing me...

"I don't kn-know... I wa-wanted to stop them..." I mumble, through some pathetic sobs. I'm so fucking pathetic...

Why am I crying...?

It's literally just a bully and... Someone else. It seems like I deleted the name and looks of that drone. It's not a big deal. I used to be weak, I am stronger now, I shouldn't cry...

He hugs me, slowly moving his hand through my hair.

"It's alright... I'm here, don't worry..." He whispers in a calming voice.

After some time, I calm down a little, and my thoughts start making a little more sense.

"I-I... I think I'm ready to talk..." I whimper.

|

"You don't have to say it all at once, just talk about anything while you're comfortable." He tells me.

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

I've been talking to N about Alexander and the mysterious other person for a while. I think three hours or so. I'm still sad, on the verge of tears, but I'm trying to speak clearly.

He's listening to me, only nodding or gasping quietly from time to time. When he sees that something is affecting me even more, he hugs me again.

At some point, I hear someone beating at the door.

"N, I'm going to check who it is, be right back..." I mumble, and get up from my bed. I've been sitting on it this whole time.

I go to the door, and open it, faking a smile.

"Who it is- Oh what are you two doing here?" I ask V and J like I haven't been crying for the past 5-6 hours.

|

"Girl you haven't been out of your room for the past 12 days, I'm genuinely worried about you." V tells me. I roll over my eyes. J clearly doesn't want to be here.

|

"Ugh, I just hate school, and I'm taking all the chances I got to skip it. End of discussion." I tell them, closing the door.

But V stops it.

"I wanted to ask you, do you and N want to go on a triple date with us?" V asks me kinda embarrassed.

|

"... What?" I mumble confused.

|

"Lizzy's doing her matchmaking shit on us and I DO NOT want to be alone with fucking Thad. And V clearly doesn't like Amanda." J explains annoyed.

|

"... Alright, I'll see what I can do." I respond, closing the door.

I go back to my room and cover myself with the blanket that I've been having on me for the past hour.

N looks confused and worried at me.

"V and J want us two to go on a triple date with them." I mumble.

|

"... Uzi, do you always fake your emotions?" He asks me.

I guess there's no way of hiding anymore...

"What did you expect..? The only place where I can be even a little bit of myself is in a room with you and only you..." I say, covering myself even more with the blanket. "I've told you I don't like myself that much and-"

|

"That's no excuse. You can't just go somewhere and act like everything is fine when every inch of your body is telling you that it's not." He scolds me.

I don't have a response prepared for it...

There's an awkward silence between us.

A very awkward silence.

It's so quiet, it's actually loud.

I want to say something, but I don't know what to say.

I mean, I've been venting for the past hours...

"N...? Is there something that bugs you?" I ask him. I don't really believe that he's fine all the time.

|

"Well... Except for the fact that I can't remember a lot of my life on Copper 9, there isn't much." He says nonchalantly. "It may even be because every day has been the same."

|

"... I mean something that you're scared about, making you sad? I don't really think you're all fine either..." I explain.

|

"Well, there is the fact that I don't want to lose you... And then it's... You know, Cyn dressing in Tessa's skin!? IS CYN CRAZY OR WHAT!?" He explains annoyed. I rarely see him mad.

|

"In My, Defense" Cyn says, but then she's quiet. "I Don't Have, Anything To Say." She adds.

Why did she even start talking?

Everything is back to quiet.

...

It's annoying me-

"AGHH WHAT THE FUCK-" I yell, pressing my ears. A loud ringing is playing in my ears. It's so painfully loud! I look at N.

He also hears the ringing... His expression says everything.

What does this mean!?

𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂~𖥂

Prev | Next | Masterpost

Oh, Uzi's backstory is... Interesting. But at least you now know why she had a crush on Doll!

...

Hey bro, you don't know this from me but... This is not even 20% of Uzi's backstory.

BYEEE

[idllyastuff]

8th June 2024

Something I penned down in a moment of vulnerability for him. Please be kind. It made all the sense in the world when I wrote it.

Separation noun 1. the action of moving or being moved apart. 2. the division of something into constituent or distinct elements. I let out a little laugh as I try to decipher the meaning of this word. I was three or four years old when I first heard of you, of your stories. I’ve always felt immensely connected to them, to you. You were there when my grandma told those stories at three, when I danced around on that song at five, when I pretended to be yours at seven and when my mind weaved beautiful stories at nine. You were there when I decorated your swing and when I shied away from your idol in the crowded temple. When my eyes filled with tears when I heard of your pain and the flutter in my chest at the whisper of your name.  Then, I was distant, perhaps a different kind of separation than the one you felt but still all the same. My mind forgot but my heart didn’t, my duties diverged but my habits didn’t. My heart still knew to flutter at the sound of your name but alas my mind knew too well how to ignore that pain.  Did you notice? As I became ignorant to  all the signs you sent. Perhaps you held out your hand trying to stop me as I ran…..away from you. Or perhaps, you never left my side, hugged me as I cried and shook your head as I lied, but stayed nonetheless. I hope I never disappointed you. After a few years, I found you again and slowly all the signs were clear so I wrote my heart out bare.  My days became happy, nights even more as I lost myself in you. You were everywhere and yet nowhere at all and it was enough for me. I found you when I needed you the most or maybe you never left at all. The moon became my companion as I weaved fantastical stories of you and saw them reflected back on its rough surface. Then it happened, suddenly it was not enough. The more I wanted you near, the more you seemed to drift away or maybe you stayed still and I was the one drifting. You stopped visiting me in my dream and I felt my life lose all its meaning. I fall apart slowly. I still feel you around but it is simply not enough. So I write, about you. My creativity stills and freezes the moment my thoughts drift from you.  You, my love, are all I can write about. This author keeps her pen close to her heart. Maybe this is why it only writes about things that reside in her heart. Love, poetry, music, You. You are my muse and you shall forever be. As your absence gets hard to bear, I write. Obsessively, lovingly, to relieve my heart of some pain. As another sort of separation wounds me, maybe different from the one you felt but yet all the same. I write for  you. I write your name on a piece of paper and it becomes sacred. Everything connected to you becomes scared. I roll it into a scroll, a smile on my face as I tie it up. Will you read it? Visit me in my dreams? To relieve some pain, if not all. I wonder today, how you faced separation, the process of separating. I hear all of the things, about being one and yet your heart shattered and she cried immense tears. How is this so contradictory? Were you simply moved apart or were you ,as one, just divided into your constituent element? Is it easier one way? Why did it hurt so strongly? Or perhaps it shall always hurt the same. It hurts the same. Some days a whiff of the wind causes a rush of memories and some days I can look at your idol without tears in my eyes. Oh and this pen hurts to write with, it takes too much pressure to ink the paper but I appreciate the pain . Maybe because writing to you should never be easy or maybe because the pain has grown to be a part of me in a way that the familiarity is welcome, even physical. I realise  I am ranting and that I’ve never once taken your name throughout but hers wasn’t there either. Not in your letters and not in the books. But she was always with you so perhaps love does not need to be spelt out. So I won’t write your name today and perhaps centuries later some literature student will try to decipher the source of all my feelings. 

It will be you, the nameless lover of mine. But perhaps they will know for every empty space in this letter speaks your name aloud, and because this kind of love cannot be hidden for long. You are embedded in all of my writings, in some I call for you clearly and some in which I long for you silently as I have done most of my life.  I don’t want to end this letter. Even writing to you gives me such peace. But I have to go for duty calls and worldly pursuits need to begin this morning. The sound of rain calms me, it was always the most beautiful sound to me, except for the tune you blew from your mouth. I may not remember it but I am sure, nothing else will ever be my favourite sound. I must go, the rain grows louder. I hear you, I see the signs.

[yeojatoru]

WINTER

cw: HUGE ANGST, one-sided love, BIG BAD YEARNING, nobara is a sapphic mess, internalised homophobia, yutamaki, nobamaki, timeskip

note: this is an au where nobody died and they made it to graduation and adult life.

"the promise I made myself to forget you, sways right away with the wind" - 寒(Alone in Winter), G-IDLE

“hi maki senpai, this might sound a little bit weird but i swear this is just a farewell letter. ALSO NOT LIKE THAT!!! not at all, but you know you are graduating and yes, it’s THAT kind of farewell. anyway, i am sorry i am not good with words so no poetics flowery words, just what’s on my mind.

maki senpai, do you remember that night when i went to your dorm? and cried about how i missed saori a lot? how you tried to soothe me and hugged me and told me what i felt was not weird at all.

you told me it’s not weird to be in love with a girl. you told me it’s as normal as being in love with a boy. you told me love is for everyone and i shouldn’t limit it because of their gender.

coming from the countryside, i have found a lot of things considered taboo there was a lot of bullshit. and some of the so-called traditions were… weird? i don’t know, i was too young after all to think about it. all i cared was about to make saori feel comfortable living there, to play with her and make my friends love her too the way that i do.

ohmygod. i’m so sorry i got sidetracked and retold you everything we talked about that night. okay however back to what i was saying.

dearest maki zen’in, i think i am in love with you. no, i don’t think so— i am sure i am in love with you. nothing else could explain these aches in my chest whenever i see yuta senpai being all blushy around you. nothing else could explain how i just want to keep you in a cosy house to adore you and feed you with all your favourite desserts and just give you the prettiest flowers. oh and of course, those piles of ceramic plates you love so much. i would let you flourish as the little girl in her safe haven— away from the bastards in the zen’in clan. i would worship the path you step on, your steps are so lovely they dropped rose petals like the one on my face. i love you, maki. sorry i can’t write sweet words.

i will never forget the nights when i sneaked into your dorms to cuddle because i couldn’t sleep, the mornings when you were being strict with me for slacking off during trainings and most of all— when you kissed me on the lips to comfort me about saori; telling me it will all be okay and someone will love me the way i deserve to be loved. you bastard, you took my first kiss. but i won’t have it any other way though, i would love to give you everything i have. i also wanted that someone to be you.

for you, you are my red dahlia and i would wait till you bloom to your fullest. i won’t be in your way, senpai. i hope everything comes in your way the way you would like.

p/s: i am sorry i pushed you away that night, i was scared. but i would love to try to be in a relationship, as long as it’s you :)”

nobara stared at the long ass essay in her hands, written using her favourite pen that she would smack itadori for sneaking it away whenever he needed to borrow one. she would never let the ink dry up nor finish as it was a gift from her beloved, maki zen’in.

“fuck, this is so cringe. don’t be weird, just send her a note and wave her goodbye.” she crumpled the paper and tossed it into the corner of her bedroom, where piles of unsent letters were accumulating till it spilled out of the dustbin.

10 years later…

she panted heavily after that full sprint of marathon. the cold, refreshing air of the winter didn't seem to cool down the fire set ablaze in her heart. she didn't get why she felt like this, she felt strangled by plethora of invisible thorns around her neck. she didn't get why she felt like this, her heart sinks deeper than the ocean could measure. but most of all, she didn't get why she felt like this over her senior that she looks up for getting married.

she was sure back then in highschool she was just confused, not sure how to deal with affection poured by the figure she thought she had a crush on, but overtime she got over it after maki graduated. that was not love, she couldn’t be in love with a girl.

but oh god, how torturous it would be to love someone you aren’t supposed to?

slowly, she fell on her knees and looking up at the sky that still cried icy fractals— landing on her warm skin to form droplets that soon combines with her tears. she was so confused— no— she was upset seeing how her angel walked down the aisle with the beaming smile on her face with her— of course— fated lover, yuta okkotsu.

they were written to be together since the start. it had always been maki and yuta, not maki and nobara. stupid girl, she thought as the infinite streams fell down her rosy cheeks.

thus, she made peace with herself by rewinding the very words maki said to her about saori. she was indeed in love— still is, but what there’s to do when she was late by ten years?

oh how she wished, she didn’t outright rejected her— the horror on maki’s face kept repeating on her mind like a broken record over the decade.

how she wished, she had forgotten everything and didn’t catch the smile maki gave her when she saw her at the wedding.

how she wished.

[mlmxreader]

My Bloke | Alfie Solomons x m!reader

anonymous asked: Hello! Last one for the day, I promise.

"Jealousy is a good look on you, y'know" + "Don't roll your eyes at me" + "Ah, fuck it, I have nothing to lose - fancy going out?"

For Alfie Solomons with a male!reader or nonbinary reader.

Thank you again and please feel free to ignore the spam of asks, seriously I'm really sorry if they get irritating!

🐍anon

summary: Alfie can be unpredictable and violent when he wants to be, especially when it comes to other people looking at his husband.

tws: violence/threats, gun threats, swearing, jealousy, possessiveness

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

Sitting on Alfie's lap, you were quite happy as you flicked through the morning papers; it wasn't rare for you to do so, the same as it wasn't rare to find Alfie sitting on your lap as he went through the day's dealings before he left the office and went home.

But today was slightly different. Alfie's grip on you wasn't to keep you steady, it was possessive, holding you rightly against him as he clenched his jaw and glared at the man sat opposite the desk. The complete stranger, eyeing up his own fucking husband.

Alfie couldn't allow it as he pulled you back against him, you didn't seem to care, turning your head slightly as you welcomed the harsh and possessive kiss. Alfie could always be unpredictable when dealing with other gangsters, you had long grown used to it, and when the kiss was over, you went back to reading your papers.

"Mister Solomons," the other man started, his eyes not leaving your body for even a second as he slowly licked his lips. "I, uhm, I'm here on, uhm, behalf of uh-"

"Fuckin' spit it out already," Alfie huffed. "Or I will fuckin' shoot you right between the eyes."

"Revolver's in the drawer to your left," you told him without looking up. "Bullets are behind the pen ink."

Alfie grabbed the gun, and only let go of you so he could load it, his grip back on you as he cocked the hammer and pointed it at the other man, raising his brows. "Why the fuck are you eyein' up my bloke? Huh? Did your mum never tell you not to touch what don't belong to you?"

The other man soon enough scampered off, thoroughly scared as he apologised profusely. Alfie huffed, unloading the gun and putting it back. He gently tugged your papers away from you.

"Yes?" You hummed.

"Fuckin' hated the way he looked at you," he grumbled, coaxing you to sit with your chest against his, your hands on his shoulders as he gripped your thighs. "Don't anyone outside of Camden have any manners?"

You grinned as you shrugged. "Guess not… but, guess what."

"What?"

"Jealousy is a good look on you, y'know," you mused. "Reminds me of a bloke I served with in the war."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he were a Captain," you started, "strong. Handsome. Always wrote to his mother. Course, he didn't have a nice and neat beard like you, but he was good."

"Uh-huh," Alfie dared to smile. He loved it when you did that. "Did this Captain, by any chance, happen to be the one that managed to find real coffee in the Winter of sixteen?"

"He was," you confirmed with a smile and a nod. "Do you know him?"

"No," Alfie teased, coaxing you onto his desk and standing between your spread legs. "But I know a bloke who did. Besides… you don't want a Captain, do you, mate?"

You shook your head, tugging at his shirt. "I prefer a gangster who gets jealous of every little thing."

"Then you're in luck," he whispered, bringing his face to your neck, his lips just and just touching the sensitive skin as he smiled. "Ain't you, lad?"

You nodded. "Maybe I am."

"Oi," he warned, pulling away and playfully glaring at you. Laughing when you rolled your eyes in the same manner. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Sergeant. I'll have you court martialed for it."

"How you gonna court martial me, Captain Solomons?"

Gently, Alfie tugged you closer. "However the fuck you want me to, Sergeant Solomons."

You had to admit, you did strike gold with Alfie. It wasn't the jealousy, it wasn't the fact that he was unpredictable or that you had been through an entire war together.

It was that he made you laugh. He made you laugh, and he made you smile; you never once feared that he would have a violent outburst directed at you. Never. He made you feel safe, he always had done.

When he wasn't at home during business meetings, you couldn't sleep; you had to have him near. It's why you spent so much time at the office, as even though you were his right-hand man, you didn't really have any reason to stick around outside of the occasional meeting that required the both of you.

But you still did, because you enjoyed being in his presence.

Even if he was doing invoices and all that shit that you didn't understand, you could always find a newspaper or something to read while you lounged around in his office.

Just being near him was enough, you didn't have to be doing the exact same thing at all times. That didn't matter.

Just as you didn't sleep if he wasn't around, Alfie never finished a cup of coffee or slept on the left hand side of the bed when you weren't there; coffee made by others didn't taste as good, and the left hand side of the bed had always been your side.

He never slept on the left side, even if he was a thousand miles away. He never slept on the left side. For all of his faults, Alfie loved you in the smallest and biggest ways he possibly could; he loved you as much as he could, the same as you loved him the same.

He loved you with everything that he could, and when he caught your gaze, he couldn't help himself as he gently and slowly kissed you. Making you laugh when his beard tickled your skin so softly.

"Y'know, I ain't got another meetin' all day, and Ollie's fuckin' around somewhere so he can look after this shit," Alfie admitted.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Ah, fuck it, I have nothing to lose - fancy going out? Just me and you, yeah?"

You grinned as you gently raked a hand through his hair. "Dorsia?"

"Dorsia," Alfie agreed. "Nothin' but the best for my bloke. Go get your coat, I'll get me stick and we'll fuck off down to Dorsia for the afternoon."