#why am i mourning for him again
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
My Love, My Light, My One and Only 🩵
"Hey, what got you looking so gloomy?" You look up as you heard a familiar voice call you. Sitting in front of you was Satoru looking all carefree like nothing has happened.
"You're an idiot," you say after staring at him for a while. "You're so annoying."
Satoru looked offended before he started to laugh. "That's the first thing you say to me after everything?"
"Shut your big mouth," you grumbled. How can he be so carefree when your heart is breaking for the second time? "I hate your voice, I hate your laugh, I hate your hair, I hate your eyes, I hate your smile, I hate everything about you."
Satoru opened his mouth to say something, but you didn't let him get a word in. "I hate how much I love you, how much I adore you, how much my heart aches for you. I hate your dazzling, beautiful eyes. I hate how fluffy and soft your hair looks. I hate how your laugh and smile make my heart skip a beat. I hate how much I desire you and just you."
Your vision was getting blurry, and you felt the tears streaming down your face, but you continued– "It's not fair. What was that stupid death of yours? You're so stupid! Don't you want to live? You should have stayed alive! I would rather the world burn down in flames if you just stayed alive. If you just stayed with me. I hate how much I love you."
Satoru stayed silent as you continued your endless amount of insult towards him, not saying a word until you finished.
"Do you regret it?" He asked, voice no higher than a whisper.
You looked at him, offended that he would even think that. "Regret? No, I don't." You mumbled to him. "I don't regret it. I never will."
A small smile dawns his face as he tells you– "I want you to be happy. Even without me. Because I'm not real. I'm just a fictional character on screen, a part of someone's imagination. A part of your imagination.
You shake your head at him. "You are real to me, Satoru. You may not be standing in front of me, but you are real to me. You've taken my heart and left a hole that can never be mended. No one can ever replace what you are to me." You look him in his bright dazzling blue eyes– "I'm not ready to let you go. I'm selfish, I'm greedy, I want you to stay with me. Even if you're happy with your end, I want you to stay. I don't want to let you go."
"You don't have to let me go. I live on in here," he points at where your heart is. "I'll always live on in there. If you don't forget, I'll always be there. Until the bitter end."
You chuckled at him and wiped away your tears. "Hey, Satoru?"
"Hm?" He hummed in response.
"You've always been just Satoru to me. Always will be. I love you. You are my love, my light, my one and only. I wish for you to continue smiling, laughing, forever being happy. To continue being the lovable you without anything shouldering you down. I love you for all of eternity. For an infinity."
His eyes widened at your declaration before softening. He doesn't say it back, but his eyes were shining, filled with adoration for your love to him and a soft smile on his lips.
Time was almost up, so you asked one last question. A question that means everything to you. "Are you happy now?"
And once again, he doesn't answer, but his expression speaks a million words. The last thing you see was his signature boyish, bright smile on his face before he disappeared, leaving you alone once more.
#this was very self indulgent#Why does gege have to do my baby like that#jjk261 has left me heartbroken again#why am i mourning for him again#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo satoru x reader#jjk#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#satoru gojo headcanons#jjk headcanons#jjk gojo#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru headcanons#gojo satoru drabble#satoru gojo drabble#gojo satoru imagine#jjk drabbles#jjk comfort#gojo comfort#gojo satoru angst#satoru gojo angst#gojo angst#jjk angst
233 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don’t think i’ll ever get over the way optimus’ voice breaks just slightly when he says “and you betrayed me.” optimus felt the need to make a distinction, because yes, d-16 betrayed cybertron, but somehow worse than that, he betrayed orion. and never in a million years would orion have thought his best friend would go that far. cybertron be damned, how could d-16 betray him? optimus reserved a small piece of selfish anger, just for them. he’s mourning his best friend, himself, and the life that they could have had.
#GUESS WHO WATCHED TRANSFORMERS ONE AGAIN#OHOHO IT WAS WORSE THE SECOND TIME#thoughts and feelings feelings and thoughts#i enjoy this moment so much#i say selfish anger in the way that like#most other versions of optimus are not really Allowed to have personal feelings#or to vocalize them in a way that matters apart from The Greater Good™️#due to the matrix or otherwise#but HERE#he was allowed this#because he’s still orion pax under the matrix#he loves his best friend and will be mourning him forever#and he’ll never stop trying to save him#and he’ll never understand fully why d-16 chose to hurt him#i am going to be sick#laying on the floor peter griffin style#transformers#tf one#transformers one#optimus prime#orion pax#megatron#d-16#maccadam#megop#kinda?
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
happy 2nd mighty nein finale anniversary everyone and don't forget molly is alive 😌💜💜💜
#am i still bitter about the fact that the fandom collectively missed and ignored that king is actually molly? perhaps#there were some shitty petty betties that made it impossible to mourn the change/outcome so most molly fans either quit or#just put their feelings in a box and didn't look at them again#why did we all look at that liar actor of a tiefling and say 'oh he says he's not molly so it must be true' lmao#plssss surface readings of complex unreliable narrators drive me nuts#anyway#don't mind me i'll always be here in my corner ranting and raving about Him LOL#mollymauk#kingsley#critical role#mighty nein#mollymauk tealeaf#critical role campaign 2#cr 2#c2#glossopost
225 notes
·
View notes
Note
The first seconds before wukong opens his mouth to scold him, I bet It was a spiritual experience for mac. Seeing wukong "alive", waiting for him, beautiful.
If wukong hadn't ruined the moment, bet macaque would have hugged him and started crying and saying he missed him. But wukong did, and macaque walls instantly rose up
oh god yeah
they were so close— SO CLOSE!!!!! so close to reaching actual good and honest communication that may have left them with something more in the future and then it gets ruined by their own inability to say what they mean to say lmaooooo
#MK: would you just tell him you missed the guy????#Macky still reeling from SWK lecturing him on staying alive like a hypocrite: ….no#shadowpeach#asks#lmk#what SWK meant to say: I’ve been watching you & saw you grieve & i am sorry i left you again & i love you & i wish this was different#what SWK says instead: YOU FUCKING IDIOT WHAT DID YOU DO THAT WHY DID YOU LOWER YOUR OWN REGARD FOR YOUR LIFE#what Macky meant to say: because i missed you & i love you & i have not been the same & i still mourn you but try my best to move on#what Macky says instead: NOT LIKE IT WAS EVER HIGH TO BEGIN WITH AND WHY DO YOU CARE???? MR LET ME DIE FIRST BEFORE I LOSE MK
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
not me spontaneously crying to a tiktok with the half return audio because all i could think about was how the lawn is fucking dead since roran is mortal but eragon will endure
#standing in the yard. dressed like a kid. the house is white and the lawn is dead.#that audio if you didn’t want to look it up#this could also apply to the rest of his loved ones#but i was literally minding my own business and then this thought hit me like a truck#cause like.#standing in the yard (roran and eragon at the docks waiting for the inevitable)#dressed like a kid (the two of them enjoying their company as brothers for the last time)#the house is white (they have literally everything they’ve wanted. roran is married and has a family. the king is defeated and the dragons#can begin anew)#and the lawn is dead (because even though they won eragon is leaving and roran will never see his brother again and eragon will live longer#without him than he will with him)#the lawn is dead x2 (eragon and roran mourning what should’ve been but can’t be)#like i knew this already but i had to be so rudely reminded#I’ve never listened to the whole some before btw so if my interpretation of the lyrics is wrong that’s why#anyways that’s what my brain made and i had to just sit with it#and suffer#GUYSSSSSSSS#i am so ill about them#eragon and roran#inheritance cycle#concha posts#< y’all I found this in my drafts so here you go
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
at fitrst i thought aroace volo was jsut a cool hc but ....guys .... He just told me its true. Wtf!!!!!!!
#i have been thinkign about this while ive been sick (i am just now almost to recovery jfc!!#its been like a week+. anyways#i cant see him being into romance smth about the grief of it all with being immortal (i think cogita is in a similar boat#but i think shes more like “hopeless romantic” like she idealizes the idea of it but knows she cant commit fully without her heart breaking#but that feels like part of the reason why shes up in her funeral garb ...#mourning relationships (not just romantic either)#volo is just liek fiwb (FUCK IT WE BALLLLLL)#so my selfship is more eviil platoniic flavored#i would say queerplatonic but ive never really felt myself attached to that term idk.#i think i saw a term called solaic that i liked onced but id have to reread the desc again to see ifi it fits with me n vol#i just think we are evil but friends but liikre in the aromantic way (we aere both aromantic) so its not “{friendship”#its not besties..#but its not romantic u feel me#hjust evilpilled aros. what they do#trans too#SWAAAG#ugh i meed to make a list of my f/os with our anniv dates cuz i wanna celebrate but its ;like bdays if its not in front of my facve my adhd#ass will forget#kewl. anyways#1.8.24#i also psychologically torture rye thnx for asking
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Omg I didn't realize this was a thing that exists??????? I need him. I want to keep him in my pocket 🥹 he is so 🤏
#you have to understand that i was super salty abt the mcu post-endgame#but i did end up watching some of the shows afterwards#and i watched tfatws bcs bucky !!!! yknow#but the fandom for it was growing when i watched it obv#and i alwaus forget to check in on it#but i got back into it like a year after#and once again now#AND I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED LITTLE MINI BUCKY#i might have to buy him#i need him hes so little 😭😭😭#okay also this is what i miss abt fandoms that arent f1#theres like yknow. actually cute and fun merch#i bought those nando ones recently which i am in love w 🥺🥺🥺🥺#but thats like an outlier yknow?#and then i look back on old fandoms and its like mournful#WHY CANT WE HAVE A NANDO NENDOROID IT WOULD BE PERFECT#can you imagine 🥺#catie.rambling.txt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#vent in tags#cw: death#I am thinking about him again man#he passed so loved and he was ready and thats what matter but g-d dammit how much I want to be selfish#listened to a song that happened to be about death and reference the place we grew up together and just :'0#ah yes this is Fine#this and the birthday relvation earlier#idk why it's hitting me so hard#I remember acknowledging huh the age difference between us matches theirs thats v interesting#huh he passed at the same age too ok thats just an interesting coincidence#but the birthday being the same is unreal#it's hard to believe its real and that it has been so long#I don't think ive processed this all right yet#despite that#idk it feels strange to mourn him cuz that means he's really gone#and so I just live vicariously through fictional parallel's ig ??#like a baby fucking loser#belghhh#sorry for being so down lately ill post nicer things later-
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying
#thinking a bit too hard now#am i even going to survive long enough to make it all ok#why does nobody see i’m a kid#also side note obsession hurts so fucking bad especially when your object causes guilt because you know it should be someone else#pattern recognition is a curse#mmm yknow what fuck it i’m gonna elaborate briefly on everything because fuck silence i deserve to be heard for once#apologising to Boo because i ruined her life#i fear my family falling apart because most of us want to die and it’s impossible to keep everyone happy it seems#the bio family kinda speaks for itself but uuuh yeah i am not accepting my sister is bad#worried about grades and jobs because there’s a lot less money at home now but my brothers won’t cut back so i have to#which is really fucking up my progress with my ed#preparing to mourn because Angel’s been dying a while now and now he’s trying to finish the job himself#fearing growing old because will i really be better or will i spend my life miserable and psychotic#i miss Vermin again#i want him back but he was never here#i miss Wade#but i don’t think he misses me#he’s been online he’s just ignoring me#disgusted because hypersexuality is a bitch and i’ve tried sliding it into conversations with people i really need to fucking talk about it#it’s starting to feel suffocating but i’m too fucking embarrassed still#like i know it’s just a coping mechanism for all the trauma but#i can’t help feeling disgusting still#i cry over my family near every day because i just want us to be fucking happy for once#i have been clinging so hard to newer headspace members to give the others a break#two of them just happened to take the form of Chris Redfield and Mewtwo#again a sex thing i want to feel like my husbands want me but i’m too scared to do anything yet#ok confession done i’m gonna regret this tomorrow but whatever who really cares
1 note
·
View note
Text
My life won't be complete until I name the other lead in the historical fiction I've decided I'm going to write.
#but I've decided that the reason Jo and the other one get to stay together after the war without question#is because they always just claim they understand each other in ways no one else could.#it makes me kind of sad that they cant have kids so i might give Josie a husband that dies in the war#that when one wakes up screaming the other knows exactly why and is the only one who does.#because they were together through the whole war. they saw the same things.#i might also give one a husband? it wouldn't be Josie.#he would die. that would be part of the excuse too.#“well why don't you nice women marry soldiers? they know the horrors too#“she did. her husband died capturing Passchendaele and you want her to just replace him?#she is a mourning widow. And i am just a friend who understands.#i might give them both husbands. but it depends.#(Josie gives off agreement vibes. like they're both gay and in love with someone so they act as beards)#(whereas the other one gives off “im pretending I like men so he can be happy and i can be accepted” vibes)#but anyway i might give Josie a husband that dies in the war. and then the other one's husband would live through it and they'd stay married#but he would kill himself (within the year probably) as so many soldiers did. and she would be pregnant.#so that they could have a kid. because i think they deserve a kid.#god josie wouldn't know she wants kids but shed be such a good mom if it came down to it#but wait#ww2 if they wanted to sign up for it one of them would have to stay with their kid#I'd think Josie would be the one to go back and serve again. shes suited for it. she was in charge.#but she was wounded. bad i think. possibly just a leg injury but I'd love to go abdominal.#so she was probably honourably discharged. she can't go back. it would have to be the other one.#I don't think my heart could kill off either of them but especially not the other one if it would leave Josie and their kid all alone#james is rambling again#ocs#rambling#thoughts#writer#writing#original character
1 note
·
View note
Text
"Hey...are you finished yet?"
You sidled up to Kento in the kitchen, impatient, his waist snatched by his apron as he chopped chillies. He knew what you wanted, and chastised you without venom, a wry half-smile upon his mouth.
"If you want dinner, you'll wait a few more minutes."
You loitered by the counter, one leg stretching out to stroke at Kento's hip, your toes trailing round his waist, and down, and--
Kento coughed, grabbing your toes against his lap, dropping his knife and giving his hands a cursory wash under the tap. Holding your foot to him, he closed in until your knee was crumpled to your chest, and you giggled as he glowered down at you.
He leaned down, his voice rumbling, appraising your body in his shirt with hungry eyes. Lifting you up on the counter, he continued to chastise you to your laughter, his voice low at your neck as he made love to it.
"You're not wearing anything under there, are you, Mrs.Nanami? Impatient. Filthy."
Giggles turned into sighs, turned into whimpers as Kento tangled a gripping hand in the front of your shirt, affectionately restraining you while his fingers slid down to your core, slipping between your folds until he found his aim.
Kento allowed himself one long-fingered dip inside you with a shudder, before rolling practiced circles over your clit.
You nuzzled into him with a sigh, feeling so oddly sensitive down there. The feeling built, a strange warm prickle, thinking Kento must have doused his fingers in magic and sin before they met their mark. You shivered, whimpering, the feeling building.
"...ungh...hot..."
"Mmm...yes, you certainly are. Could always edge you like this until you--"
"--no-- no, Kento-- hot, it's hot!"
Kento pulled back in alarm at the terror in your voice, keen eyes narrowed and fixed on you. You both stared at each other for a moment in dumb confusion.
His eyes flicked down to his fingers, still as the grave between your lips. Your eyes flicked over to the chillies he'd been chopping just minutes before.
"Kento, the--"
"--the chillies, fuck, shit, I'm so sorry--"
You shrieked, slapping his glistening fingers away, your face twisted in pain. "--oh my fucking god, Kento, you fucking idiot--"
"--excuse me, I am sorry, but if I recall, you were the one who seduced me--"
"--why did you let me?!"
You shrieked again, the Great Fire of London blazing at the crest of your thighs. Kento jolted to life, darting to the fridge, reassuring you, while he berated you, while you panicked in pain.
"--hang on, hang on, you'll be alright--shit..."
Kento slopped milk into a glass, shoving his hand into it and walking back over to you as you lay back on the counter, one hand clasped over your burning vagina. Kento's voice rumbled, authoritative, his hair mussed and sweaty.
"Open up."
"--you're fucking joking, Kento--"
"Do as you're told. This will help. Open up."
Half-laughing, half-crying, half-aflame, more agony than woman, you kicked at Kento while he huffed a laugh, batting your thighs apart.
Still weakly objecting, you gasped when he sunk two milky fingers between your folds, dipping his hand once more in the cold milk, and back again. Milk, labia. Milk, labia.
Lying back with your hands over your face, miserable with shame, you could do nothing while Kento milk-fingered the burning chillies off you. You could feel him trying to look serious and mournful as he did it.
"Stop laughing, Kento--"
"I would never."
"--you absolutely are--"
"I wouldn't dare, my love."
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
You and Kento ate your curry in silence. Kento's face was fixed throughout, deliberately solemn. You glared over at him occasionally, mulish, the ghost of a fire still lingering at your core.
Kento finished his curry, clearing his throat. He barely hid the crooked smile behind his napkin.
"That was delicious."
"...yeah. I guess it was."
"I do fancy a glass of milk though."
"--alright, that's it. Get undressed-- I'm giving you a blow job--"
"--darling--you've just eaten chillies--"
"Exactly."
Kento paled, voice tight as he begged for his life. "Please don't."
#pseudowho#jjk#kento nanami#Haitch#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami fluff#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x y/n#nanami#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#jujutsu sorcerer#jujustu kaisen#Husband Nanami#nanami kento x y/n#Nanami kento x reader fluff#married life
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
fucking hell i wanna take a couple of mental health days off work
#shouting into the void#i feel like crying but i don't know why& no tears come either way#it ain't that i'm mourning or anything#it's just whenever i get reminded of my dad i start thinking of the bad stuff#and since he died today it's hard not to think about it#i need somebody to hug me close and tell me i ain't like him#dear god i need somebody to tell me again and again i ain't like him#i am human and i am flawed but by god tell me i ain't like him
0 notes
Note
Am I the asshole for getting my best friend killed?
I swear to God, it was an accident.
My (27) BF (34) has a reputation for getting himself out of any jam you can imagine; and at first it was just a fun little thing the friend group noticed: there goes Oily J wiggling his way out of trouble again. but as the meme evolved in the group, it got to the point where we'd loykey started getting him into situations just to see how he'd get out of 'em, and he akept getting out of em. He was having fun with it too same as us. "Oh you guys," he'd say, "getting me into situations again," before laughing it off and getting out of it, so it was enrichment for our shared enclosures, and as time went on, the situations got more intense.
The trouble is, it turns out that putting a man in too many situations eventually gets the police interested. And not local hobsknockers cops either; they was like, proper three-letter FEDs. They put out a bounty on any information pertaining to his capture and everything. It was good money too so I thought, hey why don't I put J in another situation he can wiggle out of like always (and he'd wiggled outta worse before, so I thought this one'd be relatively mild), and at the next boardgame night (cause it was too late to do anything special for this one) we can buy some extra strong booze and get absolutely blitzed while having a giggle about the situation.
Boardgame night, and we were playing some social deduction nonsense or another and he says: "One of you is gonna betray me tonight." and I can't help but think, looking back on it, that he knew. It's stupid, I know he was talking about the game, but the way he said it, it was like he knew. We all felt it, and we had a big round robin round the table taking turns promising that we'd never betray him. And I said it so easily cause I thought it was true. Sure, I was gonna talk to the feds about a bounty; but, I fully expected my big beautiful oily boy to wiggle his way out of the trouble I was 'bout to cause, and that's not a betrayal. I wasn't lying. I didn't think I was lying.
My big beautiful oily boy didn't manage to wiggle his way out of it. They killed him and I got my blood money. He's gone.
He's gone and I'm devastated, crying, mourning. I loved him so much. We all did. And I can't stop thinking that it's my fault: that I'm the reason he's gone. and it is. and the guilt is eating me up inside. and I just need to talk to someone about it. So, I tell the rest of the group what happened in the group chat, hoping they'd understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want the government's blood money. It was supposed the be a prank. some joint enclosure enrichment. He was supposed to wiggle out of it like he always does... did, i mean.
They call me, among worse things, the asshole and kick me from the group chat. And, I know it's my fault he's dead: I know that. If I didn't do what I did, he wouldn't be dead right now. But, I didn't mean it for it to end up this way. He was supposed to be okay, damn it. I loved him. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
#aita#am i the asshole#fandom aita#unreality#i never know how to tag the bible ones#also i don't think this is explicitly jesus christ superstar but for some reason it put me in mind of it#so that's where the extra option is from idk#specifically in my head is one particular production of it that a friend showed me when we were like. 17#anyway i'm in love with how this one plays with modern language#good enough to post on purpose
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
There are two things that Damian knows that he knows Father doesn’t.
He has an older brother
He was dead
(And a secret third thing: Damian was glad he was dead. They did not get along.)
Well. No, correction, they were two things that Damian knew that Father didn't. Past tense. Strange magic swirled through the air and created a mirage before his eyes, and immediately a scowl forms across his face.
The mirage shifts and shimmers like the light hitting a slowly turning prism, and then it settles into a memory. One that Damian does not recall. Like looking into a tv screen, it shows, faintly, a room, with most of the magic going into the image of a crib.
His mother was standing on one side, and next to her, standing on his tiptoes was a small five year old boy looking up at her. With dark hair and skin that was only few shades lighter brown than Damian's, the little boy's resemblance to Damian was undeniable.
However, his eyes were blue. Not green. Damian's scowl deepens, and he sinks back. "Danyal." He mutters, and feels eyes turn on to him.
Danyal Al Ghul. Damian's older brother. A prodigal swordsman like Damian, and five years his senior. He'd be fifteen if he was still alive. His memory of the last time he saw his brother was still clear in his mind.
(A sword to Danyal's neck. Stars were glittering through his window. Damian was five, Danyal ten. He is not sure why Danyal had snuck into his room, all he remembers is hearing a sound and on instinct reaching for his sword.)
(His brother had intercepted easily. But had not shoved the sword away. Moonlight hit his blue eyes, and Damian remembers seeing the pupils shrink to let the light in. His eyes looked almost silver.)
(His brother bares his teeth at him. Damian wants to slice his neck more than anything, and he bares his teeth back. "Good." Danyal says, his voice low in a hiss, "Your reflexes are good, little brother.")
("Of course they are," Damian remembers snarling, and presses the sword closer. But it does not budge. "I am an Al Ghul.")
(Something unrecognizable passes through his brother's eyes, and his mouth twists into something like a smile. "I know." He says, and tilts his head downwards at him. "And you will be great.")
(His brother shoves the sword back, causing Damian to stumble. And like the wind, he is gone.)
(The next morning, he goes on a mission with mother and a few others. Mother is the only one to return with Danyal's sword, and a red-eyed look in her eyes. Damian does not mourn. Now there's only one of them.)
"Momma." The little Danyal-mirage speaks, a furrow between his childlike brows as mother lowers a bundle into the crib. His blue eyes watch her, and lifts onto his toes to peer into the crib as she sets the baby down. "Who is this?"
Their mother's hand comes to rest along his back. "This is Damian, my son." She murmurs, voice low. "He is your little brother. Protect him well."
Damian scoffs internally -- not likely. He remembers every spar he ever had with Danyal, every harsh word and insult. His pushing, pushing, pushing for Damian to get up. To try again. Do it again. The only kindness he ever showed him was when his fingers bled. And even that was harsh, firm. Rolling gauze around his wrist and scolding him, telling him how to wield his weapon better.
(It was the same as everyone else, but somehow it hurt worse coming from his own brother.)
But he watches his older brother's youngest self tilt his head to the side, and then reach his chubby hand through the crib's bars. He runs small, blunt fingers over the baby's arm, and the baby jerks. Through the crib's bars, Damian sees himself grab Danyal's fingers.
And he scowls even deeper.
And Danyal's eyes... widen. He lets out a little gasp, and a small smile Damian's never seen him wear tilts at the corner of his mouth as he looks up at their mother. "Mother," he whispers, "he grabbed me!"
Damian... his scowl falters, for a moment.
He doesn't wait for a response, he looks back to the baby with sparking eyes. His expression melts like sugar as he bounces the finger being gripped tight by the small hand. "Hello, little brother." His brother says, voice its of usual firmness, but there's more fondness underlying it than Damian's ever heard. "My name is Danyal."
The mirage shifts before Damian can comprehend his older brother's voice. It shows the crib again, appearing as if a few days had passed. There is night lilting through the nearby window, and a creek of the door. The baby doesn't stir.
Danyal sneaks in, still wearing his training clothes and a sword strapped to his side. Damian's scowl returns, watching him creep over to the crib. Of course -- the last night he saw his brother wasn't the only time he'd snuck into his room.
Would he go so low as to attack an infant? Damian wonders, watching his brother cross the room to his crib. But while his fingers rest against the hilt, they never curl to unsheathe.
His brother peers into the crib again, and there it is again, that smile wider in the corner of his mouth. It's not a full one, but its as uninhibited as it gets. Dripping honey-sweet with awe. "You are so tiny." Danyal whispers, and pokes a finger back through the crib. It wriggles, then pokes Damian's cheek gently. "Was I as small as you when mother gave birth to me?"
There is no response from the baby. Not a coherent one anyways, the little thing snuffles and turns his head, mouth open to latch. Danyal stills, his eyes grow ever wider again.
Danyal says nothing else, just rests his cheek against the crib and watches the baby sleep in silence. The affection never leaves his young face.
Damian feels unsettled. Off-foot. This Danyal is foreign to him... He wonders what happened to have changed his brother's mind on him.
There's a scuffle, quiet, but there. Danyal picks up on it just as Damian does, and his head pricks up like a deer, head already turning away from the crib. The affection leaves his face, falling away like water into something serious. His blade is already slightly unsheathed.
Two assassins, belonging to grandfather, burst out of the shadows. Their swords swinging into the air and ready to strike.
Danyal kills them both, his back to the crib. It's not without struggle, and when the two assassins lay dead on the floor, the baby is wailing at the top of his lungs. Danyal has a laceration cleaving down diagonal of his cheek. It's close to his eye, just barely missed blinding him.
Damian never knew how he got that scar. He does now. (He doesn't know how to feel about it.)
His brother clutches his bleeding face, sheathing his sword as tears well up onto his face. But he turns towards the crib, and hurries over. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay." He hushes rapidly, the League-drilled seriousness fallen away to reveal a panic-stricken five year old. He sticks one hand into the crib, the one not clutching anything, and grabs little Damian's hand.
Their mother comes bursting in that moment, and Danyal turns his head towards her. "Mother." He says, his voice cracks un-wantingly. Their mother steps over the bodies of the assassins easily. "They tried to kill Damian."
"But they did not." Talias says, kneeling down next to the crib to inspect Danyal's face and Damian's well-being. When she finds nothing of concern beyond the injury, she continues. "You killed them before they could, Danyal. Well done."
The mirage of his brother nods, his eyes teary and red.
Damian... is discomfited. he never thought Danyal would kill assassins for him. He would have thought his brother would sooner look the other way. The mirage shifts again, and it quickly shows time passing.
Danyal sits in Damian's nursery every night, after that. He lays at the foot of the crib with his sword, a pillow and a blanket with him. Some nights there is nothing but peace -- or as close to peace as a baby could achieve -- and some days assassins break in.
Danyal kills each one.
The mirage shifts again, and it shows more memories of Danyal interacting with Damian during his youth too young for him to remember. His first steps, his first words.
"Danya." The small toddler of Damian says, arms reaching for Danyal.
A frown curls across Danyal's face, and pulls Damian into his lap. "No, no, little brother." He scolds, voice firm but.. softer. "It is Danyal, Damian. Danyal."
"Danya!"
Damian's brother sighs, but there is that same-small tilt at the corner of his mouth. A glimmer in his eyes. A glimmer... that Damian is finding he recognizes.
(He always thought his brother got that look in his eyes when he was mocking him. Was he wrong?)
The mirage shifts again, and this time it shows only mother and Danyal, alone. Danyal is older, taller. Seven, if Damian had to guess. Mother has a stern look on her face, her hands tight on his shoulders. "Damian will be starting training soon, my son."
Ah, then close to eight then. Training starts, always, at three years old. He watches Danyal nod, his expression mimicking their mother's. His arms are folded, always folded, behind his back, always neat.
"You can no longer have the relationship with your brother as you did before." Mother says.
Danyal's expression... falters. It shifts, it fluctuates. He looks surprised, thrown off. Like he isn't quite sure he heard what mother just said. His brows furrow. "What... do you mean, mother?"
"I mean what I said, Danyal." Mother says, stern, "Ra's will be keeping a closer eye on Damian now that he is of age to begin his training. He will not like if he sees you both getting along."
"I am sorry, my child. But your relationship with Damian ends here. You are rivals now, not brothers." In a cruel form a gentleness, mother raises her hand and tucks a stray curl out of Danyal's face.
Of course. Damian never had a relationship with his brother because of Grandfather. Of course. No, he's not feeling a little bitter. No. There's not an inner child that still, like a candleflame, wishes that he'd had a bond with his only flesh and blood.
Danyal is dead now. So it's not like it matters. He's happy about this.
Danyal frowns, and he steps back. He looks lost in thought. "We are still brothers, mother," he says, argues, and looks up to meet mother's eyes. "Let me train him, I will make sure he gets the skill he needs. If we must be rivals, then I will teach him how to defeat me. If he can defeat me, he can defeat anybody."
Their mother, and Damian, both blink in unison. Then mother smiles something sharp, calculated. She folds her hands behind her back. "Then do it. But you will make him hate you."
"...So be it."
Damian.... Damian is silent. His world axis has been tilted on its head. He is sliding, and sliding, and sliding down. Spinning. Many things click into place at once.
More memories from the mirage show. It shows Danyal training Damian. It shows their arguing, their bickering. It shows Danyal going to their mother to praise Damian and his skills, how fast he is picking up on the sword. How one day he will surpass even him.
It shows Danyal sitting outside Damian's bedroom door every night, listening in for anyone who dares to break in. His knees drawn to his chest, his sword at his side. Sometimes he sneaks in, sword drawn, when he hears a sound.
Some nights, Damian wakes up. He remembers those nights. Danyal standing over his bed with his sword unsheathed and tight at his side. He remembers the instant terror as he immediately reached for his own weapon.
His brother always scolded him for his lack of vigilance. That had he been anyone else, Damian would have had his neck cut. He would've been dead already. It only made Damian's hatred of him grow.
But he understands now. Because there were assassins in the room that Damian, four years old, three, did not notice. Not until later. He always assumed the attacks on him after Danyal's death had been because now there was a new heir to target.
It had been the only lesson he'd been even somewhat grateful for.
Then finally the mirage shimmers, and it shows Danyal, ten years old, in one of the training rooms, mid-spar with Mother. It's fast, sharp, impressive and like a blur. Damian is unsure if at ten which one of them was the better swordsman. Some of the assassins who have never met Danyal said Damian was, but the ones who had said it was Danyal. He'll never know.
In a lull in the fight, when their swords are crossed, mother speaks. "Ra's wants you and Damian to fight." She says, teeth grit into a deep scowl. The cross breaks and Danyal jumps back, he frowns.
"We have fought, mother." He says, and dives in first, swinging for mother's feet. Mother dodges, and slices at his arm. He swerves out of the way, twisting on his feet like a dance. "We are always fighting, doesn't he see our spars?"
"Not a spar like that, my son." Mother says, a snarl in her voice. She lunges, and Danyal blocks her blade. "A fight to the death. Father has grown tired of having two heirs."
That gets Danyal's attention -- or, more accurately, it distracts it. His eyes widen, and his sword lowers for a single moment. A mistake. "What?" Is all he gets out before mother has him on his back, her blade pressed to his throat.
He freezes. As does Damian. Danyal's brows furrow, then unfurrow, only to knot up again. "Mother, what do you mean a fight to the death?" He flips to his feet when mother removes the sword. She walks over to grab her water.
"Must I repeat myself, Danyal?" Mother snaps, rubbing her forehead before swigging from her canteen. "Father wants to find out which one of you is the stronger heir, and so you will fight to the death after your training in a few days."
Danyal's tan face loses a shade of color, he looks ashy. "There must be some mistake!" He exclaims, his arms gesturing out as he peers around mother. "There is a five year disparity between us, Damian has only just started training two years ago. It would be an unfair fight!"
"Do you think me unaware?" Mother whirls on him, and there is a grief-stricken look on her face. Like she is already mourning Damian's death. Damian feels ill. "Your skill is far beyond what Damian can accomplish right now, and there is nothing that I say that can convince Father otherwise."
Danyal wears an expression like he is scrambling for answers. A white knuckle grip on his weapon. There is a long silence, and his lower lip curls up. His throat bobs, he swallows. "Is there really nothing we can do?"
Mother makes a frustrated sound, pushing her loose hairs out of her face. "Not unless Father changes his mind, or I send one of you away. But Father would surely send someone to look for you or Damian."
"What if one of us faked our death?"
Mother stills. As does Damian. No, he thinks, stiff as a rod, no way. These mirages were lying, nothing but figments of an imagination. Of some quiet what-if that Damian had not yet stomped out.
Mother's expression shifts, and then turns contemplative. Danyal notices, and keeps pushing, he looks as hopeful as he could get beyond his usual unwavering, stone-like expression. "One of us could go to father--"
"No." Mother cuts off, voice sharp. Danyal wilts, confusion flittering across his face. Damian, from the corner of his eye, sees Father tense as stone. His white-slit eyes have not left the mirage. Nobody's has.
"Father will undoubtedly check there first, it would not be a good idea. You or Damian will have to go somewhere where he would not think to look. Someone unaffiliated with the League."
Danyal's face falls, shutters, and then closes up again into stone. Mother begins to pace, and Danyal's blue eyes follow her. "So a stranger?" He asks, and there is disgust lilting into his voice.
Mother nods, and she looks just as offput as Danyal.
The mirage of Damian's brother rolls his shoulders back. "Then I will do it, mother." He says, voice unwavering. There is a stubborn note behind it all, one that Damian recognizes. "I will fake my death, and Damian will stay here."
Mother's eyes turn sharp on him, and she stops in her spot. She pivots. "Are you sure?" She asks, eyebrow raising, "There is a chance you will never meet your Father if you leave. Nor will you see I or Damian again, if you do this."
Something like fear flickers across Danyal's face, eyes widening momentarily -- as if that very thought had not crossed his mind. But then it smooths over to sharp determination. He nods. "It would be the same for Damian if it was him instead. I will do it, Mother."
Damian feels ill again. Father has a strong set in his jaw, his teeth grinding.
Mother stares at Danyal, and then her expression softens. And like before, it is grieving. "In a few days time, I and another member of the League will be going on a mission to the American States. I will tell Father that you will accompany me, once there we will dispose of the other member and then orchestrate your death."
The American States. Danyal was here, in the country. He was out there somewhere -- but no this was fake. It had to be. Danyal was dead. A fool who got himself killed on a mission with mother and left the title of Heir to Damian.
Or maybe it had been his plan all along. His and mother's both.
...Was mother ever going to tell him?
The mirage of Danyal nods, sharp. Understanding. There is a gleam in his eyes that is not pride, it is tears. And when Mother leaves the room and leaves him alone, the stone-like expression on his face crumbles and falls.
His brother, ten years old, curls up his lip in an ugly way. It wobbles as the tears in his eyes do, and he brings up his hand to slam it over his mouth. And sinks to his knees, a yell-like sob muffled behind the skin.
His brother, ten years old, looks smaller than Damian remembers him being, and cries.
Damian has never seen Danyal cry. Not once in the mirage of memories, nor in his own.
The memory holds for a minute, and then disappears. And no new one shows up. The magic is gone, and it leaves a silence in its wake. Heavy, staticky, and full of revelations.
So there are two things that Damian knows that his Father now knows too.
He has an older brother
His older brother is alive.
(And a new secret third thing: Damian wasn't sure how to feel about it.)
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc prompt#i promise this is a prompt#it just got very long#danyal al ghul au#my take on a danyal al ghul au#older brother danny#dpdc#dpxdc crossover#i know the usual gist is that danyal al ghul is a better knife thrower than he is a swordsman but hey#consider: phantom has a sword when he fights ghosts. how sick is that?#his ghost form having allusions to the LoA. its not obvious but its there#did i make danny brown skinned? yeah. because him being white or not is irrelevant to me and i wanted to make him darker skinned#thinking about the angst of bruce seeing his firstborn son going “i could stay with father!” and then said child being visibly crushed#when told no. and that he may never see his father ever. actually. if he fakes his death. and still doing it anyways for damian's sake#danny loves his little brother he just shows it in an unorthodox way. some of it is not his fault#also danny being an absolute grump in amity park is very funny to me. he's an arrogant little assassin child in AP who is only here for#his little brother's sake and safety. he loves his brother but that doesnt stop him from being an arrogant little brat#gremlin assassin child danny is so funny#i know this is very ironic for me to post after posting my thoughts on danyal al ghul aus and their missed potential#but actually this prompt is what spurred that post into creation in the first place actually.#because i was thinking about this au and then went “oh hey you know whats funny--” and then i#thought about it too much to the point where i had to make a post talking about it#tried to find a balance between danny being mature for his age and also still being a kid#like yeah he’s a trained assassin and has killed but also he’s a 10yo boy about to be separated - Assumingly permanently- from his family
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘, 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗜𝗡 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘
paring: daniel ricciardo x fem!reader
summary: you and daniel’s life after he leaves formula one
warnings: established relationship, pda, angst (daniel leaving 😭), crack humour | here’s a twist to daniel’s leaving of f1 to help us cope 😔
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and 560,283 others
yourusername to my danny boy. you breathe life into everyone you meet. you bring out the most in me and everyone else. your laughs and smiles are contagious, and you never hesitate to lend a hand. when i met you, i was lost in the world. now, i am found, and always have a home to go back to. words are not enough to let you know how much i love you. formula one will never be the same without you. love you forever and always 🤍
view all 14,647 comments
danielricciardo love you so much honey ❤️
↳ yourusername love living life with you 🤍
landonorris ❤️❤️
user1 brb crying myself to sleep
user2 not ready to not see daniel or daniel and y/n on the paddock anymore 😭😭
alexandrasaintmleux will miss seeing you both 💗
↳ yourusername you too alex! we’ll need to get together soon 🤍
georgerussell63 miss you both ❤️
oscarpiastri wishing you both well
user3 i’m crying my eyes out again
danielricciardo
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, and 3,205,846 others
danielricciardo i've loved this sport my whole life. it's wild and wonderful and been a journey. to the teams and individuals that have played their part, thank you. to the fans who love the sport sometimes more than me haha thank you. it'll always have its highs and lows but it's been fun and truth be told i wouldn't change it. and most importantly, thank you to y/n for staying by my side through everything. you helped me stay myself in a world like this one. until the next adventure, excited to see what the world has in store.
view all 66,936 comments
yourusername love you so much baby 🤍 so proud of what you’ve accomplished!
↳ danielricciardo thank you for being by my side ❤️
oscarpiastri congrats on everything you’ve achieved daniel 👏
lewishamilton it’s been an honour 🤝
user1 y’all don’t talk to me i’m mourning
user2 this is so sweet 🫶🏻
georgerussell63 going to miss you daniel 😔
user3 sad to see him go, but hope we see more y/n and daniel content
user4 you deserved such a better send off 😢
↳ author daniel deserves so much more fr
danielricciardo
liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, and 197,354 others
danielricciardo much needed getaway
view all 180 comments
danielricciardo has limited comments
georgerussell63 cheers mate!
yourusername very much needed ☺️
landonorris make sure you take good pictures and focus the camera 😭
lilymhe you two are so cute ❤️
↳ yourusername we need to plan another double date
↳ lilymhe yes!!
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 75,937 others
yourusername quiet life ⛰️
view all 2,621 comments
danielricciardo stealing my job
↳ yourusername i’m just such a copycat 🐈
maxverstapppen1 beautiful views! wishing you well
user1 my girl knows phoebe bridgers
user2 i’m so jealous of them 😭😭
landonorris 📸📸
alexandrasaintmleux who needs pinterest when you’ve got y/n’s feed??
↳ yourusername says you 🤭🤭
f1gossip
liked by user1, user2, and 54,596 others
f1gossip daniel ricciardo and long term girlfriend, y/n y/l/n were seen in nova scotia, newfoundland, visiting friends and family and reportedly engagement rings on their fingers! what do you think?
view all 1,035 comments
user1 is y/n from canada?
↳ user2 yeah! she also has friends and family there
user3 why are we all up in their business??
user4 it’s about time
↳ user5 i know, they’ve been together for long enough
user6 he was probably planning this for soooo long
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and 1,074,027 others
yourusername you guys sure do have a keen eye. yes, me and daniel are engaged. i am speechless. i’m going to marry my best friend. i love you so much danny 🤍 can’t wait for forever of matching sandals, travelling together, playing harmonicas, dancing in the kitchen, playing board games when the power goes out, and having fun with friends with you 🤍 forever and always, and what ever else is left.
view all 22,045 comments
danielricciardo can’t wait lovie ❤️ forever and always
↳ yourusername we should get a fish, start our family early
georgerussell63 i better be invited to this wedding
↳ yourusername of course! can’t be a party without you george 😌
lilymhe time to start planning!!
landonorris congrats you two! no need to ask, i’ll be the photographer
 ↳ danielricciardo big ego norris
charles_leclerc congratulations 🥳
user1 y’all…… i’m not ready
user2 mom and dad are getting married!!
user3 her dedication to him 😭😭😭
danielricciardo
liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and 2,973,872 others
danielricciardo last photo is my reaction to when she said yes. getting you that fish right now 🐟 can’t wait for married life. you lose some, you win some
view all 45,829 comments
yourusername so unserious 😭 but we are in the car rn, on the way to get the fish. he keeps his promises
landonorris you should name the fish dave
↳ yourusername this is why you’re not allowed to name things . . . but i honestly like it
alexandrasaintmleux soo happy for you both ❤️🥰
↳ yourusername love you alex 🤍🤍
maxversteppan1 guess this is officially over for us 😔😔
↳ danielricciardo never baby, i always have room for you ❤️
↳ yourusername 🤨🤨🤨
user1 poor y/n, always going to third wheel with max and daniel
↳ yourusername i’ve accepted it at this point
georgerussell63 omw to plan my outfit
user2 i can’t wait to see them married
user3 i wonder what their weddings going to look like . . .
#emma writes#x reader#x fem!reader#imagine#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula one imagine#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#lando norris#george russell#dr3
735 notes
·
View notes
Note
Please please please I am in desperate need of Astarion comforting Tav.
Like Tav is always comforting everyone else, but there is never anybody to hold their hand when they are scared or hug them when they are sad. Please let them be scared. Let them be sad, let them be vulnerable and let them feel their own emotions.
Tav needs a hug :,)
a/n. no you're so right because I AM ALWAYS OPEN TO TAV LOVE!!!!! This ended up a lot more fluffy and lighthearted than I expected but I hope that’s okay! :) also this is not proofread pls excuse me for the grammar errors that are definitely in here.
You don’t mind helping others, really. You don’t mind guiding Shadowheart to escaping her evil goddess, you don’t mind finding a way to aid Gale’s ticking time bomb, and you don’t mind spending hours in battle to find a piece of infernal iron for Karlach. It’s natural after all, because they’re your precious companions.
But it’s also made the thought of being something else—the one being comforted—more shameful than anything.
It was just a bad day, honestly. Bits of your life being pricked at with needles. The whole week had been hellish, but today seemed to be bent on finally wiping you clean. A battle going wrong, the lake freezing over and preventing you from taking a bath, the pot of soup you were in charge of burning to cinders—they’re all small, but they add up. And when you find that your favorite pair of gloves are splitting at the seams, it’s your final straw.
You stumble into your tent, barely holding back tears as you close the flap shut behind you, signaling that you wanted to be alone. You collapse into your bedroll, face first as even the blanket beneath you isn’t enough to cushion you against the hard floor.
Gods.
You squeeze your eyes shut, begging your tears to leave. The others have a lot more problems at the moment—ones that wager between life and death—but you can’t help the overwhelming burst of emotions you’ve kept bottled in for weeks now. So many bad things are happening, but there’s no time for you to mourn, because the least you can do is stand beside your companions in their own grief. It forces you to constantly stay alert, keeping your heart open for them but shut closed for yourself.
It’s so, so overwhelming. It almost feels like it’ll swallow you whole.
“Are you alright, darling?”
You hadn’t even heard him entering the tent, and immediately your shoulders tense as you shoot up into a sitting position, wiping desperately at your eyes. You know they’re red, but you hope he ignores it. “No, I’m just tired. I’m turning in early for tonight, sorry.”
He stares at you, making his suspicion blatantly obvious to urge you to continue but you don’t, forcing your eyes to the ground. “No need to be sorry, my love. I was just making sure.”
You want to throw yourself into him. To let him hold you as you complain about the more mundane parts of life as well as the feelings wracking the sobs of your chest. To let him soothe you as all you can do is cry.
But you don’t. It’s just not what you do.
“Pity, these pretty things of yours,” he lifts your gloves that had been discarded on the ground with a cock of a brow. “I quite liked them. But…they don’t seem to be at a complete loss yet.”
You finally look at him.
“Why it just needs a bit of stitching and some polish. It’ll look even better than it did before with my handiwork,” he inspects the fabric closely. “Hm, I was finished with fixing Karlach’s shirt anyway, I suppose I could spare some time for your gloves.”
Despite his words, his eyes are gentle as they shift over to you, and it makes your lip quiver.
“I’ll ask again,” he says softly, and you know it’s an effort in vain to resist. “Are you alright?”
Like a river breaking through a dam, you fling yourself into him, tears already slipping down your cheeks as they smear against his shirt. You worry about the snot for a split second, yanking away, but he just pushes your head back to him, sighing with you practically wrapped on top of him.
“You should have told me before things had gotten this bad, my love,” he says, no true judgment laced in his words. If anything, he sounds amused. It makes you cry even harder as you wail loudly into his chest, with his hand rubbing soothing circles into your back.
It’s like a breath of fresh air.
“Would you like to talk about it?” He asks eventually after what seems like eternity, and your sobs have calmed to sniffles.
“…not now.”
“Very well,” he laces his fingers with yours, and you tilt your head up just enough to see the fond smile stretching on his lips. “I shall remain here until you’re ready. Until then, I have no quarrels with our current arrangement.”
You mumble against him as he lifts your knuckles to his lips. “…thank you for this.”
“You needed this,” he replies, as if it’s obvious. “I’m not you, of course, which is why comfort is not my strong suit, as charming as I am. I much prefer blowing off steam in a bloody battle, but this—“ he runs a hand through your hair, gentle enough not to pull at any strands. You resist the need to sigh into the feeling. “—this, I can do as many times as you need.”
#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#astarion#bg3 x reader#fluff#bg3
2K notes
·
View notes