#i cry over my family near every day because i just want us to be fucking happy for once

[deadandwalking]

if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying

[totalswag]

hi i love your writings!!!

may i request something angst with y/n and drew pls? like maybe they broke up but still love each other and they haven't told their families about it. so one day they have to meet again at Liliana's birthday party and they have to pretends? but it's getting angst when the party ended and they have to separate again

i still love you ⎯ DREW STARKEY

authors note firstly, thank you lovie! you don’t know how much that means to me. i’ve written angst before but not a lot. this one is gonna hurt so grab tissues if needed.

taglist ⤕ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set.

summary attending a birthday party with your ex as a couple after you broken up without telling anyone in your circle.

warning(s) breakups, angst, crying, and feelings for each other.

Drew and you ended your relationship four weeks ago. Never thought your relationship with him would end so suddenly. You have been an absolute reck since. Both of you still love each other deeply.

Family and friends don’t know about the break up—they’d be devastated hearing the news. Just thinking about it gets you overwhelmed with emotion. Drew and you have had small conversations about it but can't pull through yet.

Tonight is Liliana’s second birthday, everyone in Drew’s family will be there celebrating at his younger sisters home. Drew and you were invited prior to the breakup—you’ll be attending as a "couple."

This is gonna hurt you both.

“Okay we act like a couple then we part our separate ways, yeah?” Drew says with a hint of sadness in his voice, enough for only you to hear.

Pulling the front string of your hair behind your ear, looking up at his tall frame, “ye-eah that’s fine.” Your voice started cracking.

The two of you walk up the driveway of the house walking hand in hand like you typically would when you were together. Suddenly, Drew’s hand gently placed itself on your lower back—thumb rubbing gentle circles.

The sensation of his touch on your skin sends millions of goosebumps down your spine; you feel comfortable in his embrace—you are home. When you enter through the back gate, your face lights up as you see his family.

"Oh my gosh, it's so glad to see you both here" Brooke, Drew's younger sister, smiles running over in your direction with a drink in her hand.

After your brief reunion, you moved to see Drew's other family members. Seeing them made you joyful and sad at the same time because you knew you wouldn't see them as much after this. 

Liliana raced over to Drew, arms raised, hoping to be hoisted up. She giggled as he kissed her face. "Stop it, Uncle Drewy," she says, tilting her head back.

Watching the two interact is the cutest thing ever. Liliana looks over her shoulder, gasping, and reaching out to you—taking her in your arms, hugging her, and spinning her around.

"You look so beautiful today," you tell the two-year-old in your arms. She glances up at you, reaching for your necklace before wrapping her arms around your neck.

"You too auntie!"

Drew and you stood near to each other during the party—kissing your cheeks, hugging you close, resting his hand on your thigh—all the things you used to do. You could feel each other's distress.

Your entire body was screaming. You and Drew were dating for over four years. This split is still fresh for both of you. You just wanted to stay close to him the entire time, and he felt the same way.

People asked you how your relationship was going and when Drew was gonna get down on one knee. Just typical questions that've been asked before. No one suspected anything off between you two.

The drive back to your house didn't take long. Drew and you were making small talk about the party and seeing Liliana's face when she opened her gifts.

Drew parked the car and switched off the engine, but neither of you made a move to exit. The streetlights provided a soothing light inside the car, highlighting the stress on his face. He finally ended the silence.

"I hate this, you know," he continued, his voice tight. "Pretending like everything's fine when it's not."

You gulped hard, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "Me, too. But what options do we have?"

He turned to face you, looking into your eyes. "We can try again. Maybe we just needed some time apart to think things through."

"I still love you," he said softly, his voice breaking.

Your heart tightened at his words, and you clutched his palm tightly. "I still love you, too. But love isn't always sufficient."

By this point, your voice had begun to crack. You just wanted to jump into his arms one final time and have him tell you everything would be fine.

The hush that ensued was deafening. You both understood the reality, even if it was difficult to accept. You slowly and reluctantly drew your hand away and sought for the door handle.

"Goodbye, Drew," you replied softly, exiting the car.

You headed towards your apartment, your vision hazy with tears. Just as you approached the door, you heard him yell your name. Turning around, you noticed the pain imprinted on his face, which mirrored your own.

"Goodbye," he murmured quietly.

He stared at you as you walked to your front door. He wanted he could walk in the house with you, but you never asked. Turning around and waved your final goodbye as he slowly drove away. 

Tears stream down your cheeks as you close the door. You couldn't hold back the tears. You hoped everything had never happened in the first place and that everything would have been okay. However, not everything goes as planned.

All those memories you made together are flooding through your mind as you walk yourself to your bedroom.

One day you'll find your way back. One day.

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[writersmess]

DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY

gif credit

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.

Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.

Word count: 2.5K

a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.

Masterlist

................................

You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.

The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.

That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?

You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.

To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.

The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.

"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.

"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.

You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?

The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.

It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.

You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.

Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.

And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.

Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.

Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.

Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.

Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.

*

It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?

"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.

You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.

You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.

"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.

His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?

He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.

"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.

"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"

*

The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.

Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.

Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.

You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.

But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.

But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.

"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.

Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.

"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"

"I know"

"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."

"I know."

Buck couldn't lose you.

You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.

A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.

"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"

You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.

"Buck, I-"

Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.

I love you.

The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.

"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."

It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.

"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.

It was a call for help.

You could have sworn it was a call for help.

"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"

"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"

Your vision was blurred.

I love you.

You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.

It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.

I love you.

“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.

Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.

I love you.

His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.

I love you too, Buck.

The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.

This couldn't be happening. No, no.

Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.

Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.

Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.

Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.

Buck couldn't lose you like this.

"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.

Buck's heart could stop any second now.

But the building was collapsing.

He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.

Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.

You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.

*

You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.

Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"

"I almost lost you today"

Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.

"I'm sorry"

Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.

"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."

"I would never leave you"

"Promise?"

"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"

"Please don't let it be soon"

You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.

"It won't."

[reshinless]

Not a req, just wanted to brainrot Kinich rn because I'm very very deep into his entire aesthetic and backstory

Do you ever think Kinich would stop to think for a moment how he might leave his s/o before them, especially after the recent Abyss happenings in the AQ? If he dies, Ajaw gets his body and he'll wonder if Ajaw would even try tk fool you that it's him or would straight up tell you bluntly that he's gone...

And he'd think how you could take it.

Ajaw would be running around with his face all over Natlan, and you would have a constant reminder that he's gone and that's not Kinich and he worries about that constantly. Maybe at some point he even thinks it's much more beneficial for both of you (mostly you) to break thinks off and push you away from him, from the long term heartbreak by breaking your heart this early on.

He's already fallen a few times during various Night Warden Wars, and he knows how dangerous his job is as a Saurian Hunter who takes on long term commissions all over Natlan.

There may be a time he won't come back as himself.

cw death mentions, but no one dies cuz I cry when I make my own angst :fire:

he'd always remind you that he won't be there, and it may be that one day it's not even him you're talking to.

but I'm sure he'd do something to ensure you'd know it's him, a secret safe and away from his jaw. Just ask the magical question of love: Why did he fall in love in the first place?

and i'm sure before the more serious months (I believe in the three-month rule lol), he'd be a bit distant. not because he fell out of love, or because you did anything wrong, but he doesn't want you to feel bad on the day that he won't be there anymore.

but it's not like he'll recklessly fight as is, or like how he always has during night warden wars, he has someone to come home to now, he never had that before. there's someone home, expecting him to come back into that small hut he shares with them, and it's you.

he used to fight because it was his job, he fought because it was the only thing he could do before he could do. so why is he imagining a family with you? settling down wasn't something that crossed his mind too often, but he considers it a frequent guest now that he knows you're willing to stay.

he takes more precautions than normal, not to say that he didn't before, but more just to ensure you won't spot any of his injuries. he doesn't want to worry you so much.

the thought of breaking up with you now is a harsh topic, but he doesn't fully push it away. just to make sure you were safe, he was willing to just keep this relationship between the two of you- yet... he felt himself only reeling in closer to you every day that he kept you near.

he couldn't shake off the sad sentiment of what he may be soon, but he knows that his new priority is no longer to just fight. it's to live life fully with you.

[marshmallowdarling]

Retired Knight! Simon is the last person to come around to the thought of you (surprise surprise). Because like these are his boys, who are you to come in and try and steal them away? 

Very much jealous and possessive and the other men eat that shit up! Wrapping his arm around his captains waist when you come into the room, throwing an arm around Johnny’s shoulder while he makes you all breakfast (because everyone needs to eat including you and even though he doesn’t like the idea of you he doesn’t hate you), pressing himself into Kyle’s back while Kyle washes the dishes. Just little things that silently say ‘he’s mine’. 

But again, he doesn’t hate you as much as he loathes the king throwing you into their home and in a way he pity’s you. Having to be a ‘spouse’ for their general who already has three boys at his side, a loveless marriage and having to be the ‘other person’. 

He watches you, at first he didn’t mean to. Habits from the army were hard to break and patrolling their home was a way to soothe his nerves and drain his energy so he wasn’t itching to do something, and he sees you trying to tend to the few animals John got as a present. Key word is ‘trying’ because bless your heart you have never really taken care of barn animals, seen then yes and touched one once or twice but actually tended to one? You thought you had an idea on how to take care of them but that gets thrown out of the window when you try but you don’t want to ask the boys because how hard is it? And you really want to prove you can be useful… 

So, he watches and watches. Watches as you try to haul some hay over to the horse and almost throw out your back. He watches as you try to carry a bucket that seems manageable, but you can barely even lift it an inch from the ground, waddling with it swinging everywhere and needing to set it on the ground for a few seconds after a few feet before trying again and then stopping and then trying again and then stopping and then trying-

And he watched with a raised brow from under his mask when he sees you happily feed the cows some melon, patting their short fur… until another cow’s big wet tongue laves over your hands, and another cows large tongue curls around your shirt- and by the end you’re a wet, sticky mess. 

After watching you for a while he decides he should try to help, not because he likes you but because everyone needs to start somewhere right? And watching you every day failing was painful but you did surprise him when each time you would get back up and dust yourself off…. Even when sometimes you had a little cry or swear before you got up, but you still got up and every time a hint of respect flashed in him. 

He gets to the small barn before you do, knowing your routine from watching you almost every day for a month. When you get there and are rightfully confused he doesn’t say anything for a bit before picking up one of the two buckets on the floor next to your feet, the one with most amount of stuff, before wordlessly showing you how to hold it properly and feed the cows. He doesn’t even ask you to do anything, just letting you stay near the second bucket and after a few minutes when you do get the hint he just gives you a little nod. 

Each day after starts like that, until Kyle realises what’s happening and comes around with a nice cuppa for the both of you while you work in the early mornings. 

But Simon still doesn’t like you, he just tolerates your presents. It’s what he says anyways when Kyle teases him about it while under him, but Simon just grunts and buries his feeling while putting the brat under him in his place. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOW DO WE LIKE?!?! I'm sorry for dropping but my family is going THROUGH it right now but here's a little peaky peak into my brain lmao

Tag List (omg mom look I made it); @sheep-from-rad , @aldis-nuts , @reap3erslov3 , @pasanau4

[letsgobarbs]

The Wedding (Acacius Marries His Priestess)

Summary: This is part of the His Priestess universe but can be read as a stand-alone. Acacius marries his Anaticula.

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x Former Vestal!Reader (No use of y/n, terms of endearment are used.)

A/N: Anaticula means little duckie/duckling. Vestals were initiated at ages 5~7ish and served the temple for 30 years before they were permitted to marry, and Acacius is described to be a decade older than the Reader in the original story. I had meant for this to be a nice, fluffy wedding. But then I got my period in the middle of writing this and this grew progressively hornier... so it's a wedding and the wedding night.

Warnings: PDA, loss of virginity, oral sex (both receiving), eating ass (f!receiving), cum eating, unprotected p in v sex, discussions of having children, food play.

“You must cry.” The Vestal begged.

“Why must I cry? I happen to be very happy today, the tears are not forthcoming.” His anaticula sounded almost petulant, this was not the first time they were having this discussion. Acacius gently stroked his thumb over the side of her finger; their right hands were bound together by wool ribbons, fingers interlocked. 

“The bride has to cry during the wedding procession, show some reluctance and modesty—”

“I am so joyous, I would skip to my husband’s home if I could.” Acacius snorted into his cup of wine, spilling some of the liquid over its edges. He made no effort to suppress his chuckle as he placed the wine down to wipe at his mouth. His lips were still curled into a grin, he found he hadn’t been able to restrain it since he awoke this morning. He cannot decide which sound is sweeter, his name on her lips or her address of him as husband. 

“—it is Roman tradition.” Her friend insisted. 

“I don’t believe I would like to invoke the Roman tradition of kidnapping women for marriage.” Oh, but Acacius had wanted to invoke it several times a day leading up to their wedding. They had been reduced to chaste kisses and clasped hands, always chaperoned by a hawk-eyed matron who would squint at the most gentle caress he dared to share with his betrothed. Now his wife. Her father and brother had insisted it was for his own safety, so their anaticula didn’t attack him again as she had in her office— forcing an honourable man to wed her, they had teased. 

Acacius felt they were having far too much fun at his expense. Because all this honourable man wanted to do was haul her over his shoulders and carry her off to the nearest cave. He wanted to hide her somewhere, not even share her shadow with the world; keep her trapped underneath him until all she could see was him. Alas, he had to settle for buying a domus near her father’s home. He has ensured nobody would interrupt them for the next few days so he could take her over every surface, wall and square foot of the floor before letting her up. Let their pleasure and love strengthen the pillars of their home.   

He had spent over a decade with only his hand for company, but now the few meagre weeks of abstinence riddled his brain with insistent need. His skin buzzed with excitement, a current working its way up his limbs, as it would before a battle, at the very thought of having his Priestess to himself tonight. He had thought up so many ways to unleash that tigress he had encountered in her office.

“You know it is not just about that… The lares will be upset. Your household deities have guarded you for so long, they will be upset to see you spurn their protection for the gods of your husband’s home. You must cry to let them know you do not leave them willingly.” Acacius paused at the words, he had no lares; there were no spirits of ancestors or deceased family to call upon. 

He had been orphaned young, his whole family was lost to illness and he hardly remembered them. He had long lost faith in the deities and gods. But perhaps marriage was making him sentimental, even if ineffective and symbolic, he did not want his Priestess to go without protection. The shrine in his new home was fashioned with a single wooden statue of Vesta he had carved, it bore a distinct likeness to his Priestess, along with rose-scented incense— reminiscent of her scent. However, he couldn’t invoke her own spirit to protect her now could he— that was for his protection.          

Acacius had given up his previous tools of protection. All his equipment had been military commissioned; as a General, he did not believe in using a weapon that his soldiers could not afford; sometimes well-made weaponry was the difference between life and death, and his life was not more valuable than any of theirs. His gladius was the only weapon he had owned— the very one he had used to defend himself in the Colosseum.

Acacius had melted the sword to make two identical daggers— one of which he had gifted to his Priestess as a betrothal gift, the other he had kept for himself. An engagement ring had also been made from the same metal, which she now wore on the third finger of her left hand where it would connect to her heart. It had felt right to slide that ring onto her finger; it was only fitting that the woman who had rescued and protected him had a piece of the blade that had guarded him. He had vowed to never fight another war. After all the victories and bloodshed across the world, he had returned home to submit at her merciful feet. And there had never been a defeat sweeter than losing himself in her, especially not when he had won her too.   

There had been enough metal left over to form a thin betrothal medallion, engraved with their visages sharing a kiss along with two clasped hands on its back. He knew his Priestess wore the medallion around her neck, a gold chain could be seen disappearing into her tunic, the disk surely nestled between her bosom. Acacius wondered if he should convince her to place the token in their shrine. After all, their love had protected and sustained them both through difficult times. He knew it would guide and watch over any children or descendants they might have.

“Did you want me to cry, Acacius?” She asks him as she draws closer, resting their bound hands on his thigh, easing the stretch of the muscles of his arms and shoulders. He really should unbind their hands, they were sitting beside each other, so he had to stretch his arm across his torso to grasp her hand. But judging by how tightly she held him, she did not want to let go either.

He shook his head no, he did not believe he could stomach seeing her reluctance to marry him even if it was feigned. He had even offered for them to stay with her family if she was unwilling to part with them since she had lived apart from them for the last three decades. 

“Are you sure? I could shed some false ones… maybe get closer to the smoke so it would make my eyes water”—Acacius kissed the irresistible little moue off her lips—“If I don’t cry then everyone will say you have married a disobedient wife who will tyrannically dominate your home.” She continued her exaggerated words anyway. She didn’t know that he planned to acquiesce to all her commands and requests, he could swim across oceans blazing with fire just to see her smile— he had done worse for much less. 

Acacius watched the sway of her earrings, the metal catching the light from the setting sun behind her. He hadn’t been able to look away from her since he had lifted her flammeum for their wedding ceremony. The flame-coloured veil glittered around her, casting a warm golden glow upon her skin. His priestess was not one for dull colours, but she looked radiant in her white tunic and stola. 

He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, then trailed gentle pecks all the way to her ear where he nibbled on the soft, petal-like skin of her ear lobe before he widened his jaw, tongue reaching out to capture her earring into his mouth. Acacius savoured the coolness of it in the warmth of his mouth as he gently suckled on the jewellery, relishing the shiver that went down her spine. He nuzzled the loose coil of hair behind her ear, knowing she enjoyed the scrape of his beard on her skin— he heard the hitch in her breath. He released the earring in his mouth, letting its wetness streak across her neck.       

“You can cry for me… later when it is just the two of us.” He whispered to her. But his words did not have the intended effect on her. He watched her eyes waver before skittishly looking over his shoulder, her own shoulders tensed and curled away from him. Acacius retreated and saw the nervousness painting her face, her lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed. 

He playfully nudged her nose with his, “What is it, anaticula?” 

He heard the harsh gulp of her throat, her eyes frantically looking around for the right words. When she looked at him again, her gaze was hesitant and embarrassed. His Priestess cupped his jaw with her free hand, her fingers pinched his earlobe in retaliation before her thumb softly stroked under his eyes. Acacius melted into her loving touch, his eyes drooping shut. 

“You woke so early today…” She smelled of her gardens— flowers, herbs and fresh earth. 

He had awakened well before dawn, but he felt rested and replenished. Usually, the bride and her mother would collect flowers from their garden to weave a wreath on the day of the wedding. But his anaticula’s mother had already passed away. He knew the other matrons of her family would gladly help her, but Acacius had wanted to weave her wedding crown himself. He had decided so when he saw her wear a wreath the day she was to be unjustly punished for unchastity.  

He had sneaked into her room, woken her up with cakes collected from the kitchen before stealing her away to the gardens so they could make her wreath. He had chosen marjoram for honour, love and joy; rosemary for fidelity and loyalty; lavender for devotion; sage for long life; verbena, basil and mint along with roses, lilies and violets. The crown had ended up a bit too heavy but she wore it with grace. 

“And you also went hunting with my father and brother.” An animal had to be sacrificed for the wedding. Acacius had decided to hunt a wild boar himself. The entrails of the animal were read by the auspex for omens and the approval of the Gods. It would not have mattered what the auspices prophesied, he would have hunted every animal in the city until the omens were read in his favour. But the first boar had been enough, the omens had signified a joyous and lasting marriage. After the offerings had been made to the gods, the animal was cooked for their wedding feast. 

“Then you cooked in the kitchens as well.” He hadn’t cooked, he had made the bread needed for their wedding ceremony. It was not supposed to be made by the groom. But in the absence of his Priestess, during the months he had believed her to be dead, Acacius had perfected making bread in the kitchens she used to feed the poor. He had wanted that bread to be offered to the gods, he had wanted that bread to be fed to his bride. It was another token of his devotion. 

“The ceremonies were so long.” She was right, Acacius thought the Pontifex Maximus would never stop talking and praying and chanting. He suspected the man dragged out the wedding ceremony solely out of spite that his Priestess had lied about her death. But he had not heard a single word of the chief high priest, his Priestess had stood before him and he was lost in her adoring, twinkling eyes.

He had always believed her eyes to be wondrous, always bright with mirth and mischief, they found joy in the smallest pleasures of life. A single gaze from her could fall on him like a soothing salve as well as disturb his constitution— make him restless with need and desire. His heart always trembled when she looked up at him through those full lashes. But today her eyes had looked so captivating with the kohl lining them that Acacius had almost stumbled in an effort to get to her. He had blindly signed their marriage contract, unwilling to take his eyes off her for too long.

The only time he had lost sight of her today was when he had cried during her consent of their marriage, his own tears blurring his vision. Theirs was a union of equals, he would never make demands on her wealth and personhood, and she was free to keep the name her parents had graced her; all Acacius had wanted was a chance to spend his remaining life by her side, and the privilege of belonging to her. So he had been dumbfounded and overwhelmed when she had forgone the blessed and auspicious name Gaius to lovingly and proudly take his name during her vows. 

Ubi tu Acacius, ego Acacia. Where you are Acacius, there I am Acacia.

He had not deserved the honour, the name meant very little. It was not what his parents had called him; neither was it a name that held any high esteem in terms of legacy and social standing, nor was it the name bestowed upon him by the people. Acacius was always preceded by General and it was a name tainted with the blood of the innocent. But she had taken that piece of himself he was most ashamed of for herself. And in doing so, she had breathed a new life into it— she was what gave his name honour and worth.

And he was proud to be her Acacius. Ubi tu Acacia, ego Acacius. Where you are Acacia, there I am Acacius.

He had broken the bread he had made over her head, careful not to drop crumbs in her hair, before handing over half as an offering to the Gods. Acacius had fed her that bread, her teeth gently grazing his fingertips, affectionately nipping at them, before she had taken the same piece to feed him. And the bread was sweeter where she had bitten into it. But far sweeter was her mouth when he had sealed their marriage with a kiss. 

There was a rightness, a sense of tranquillity, that had settled about him at the conclusion of the ceremony as their hands were being tied. For the first time, Acacius had been content and at peace. His mind was serene, devoid of the usual demons that haunted him; his heart could taste the rising joy within him, and he could pluck the excitement from the air.  

“So you must be very tired tonight…” Her words had tapered into mumbling, which was so unlike the woman he knew. Acacius figured she was hoping to avoid their wedding night which was a surprise since she was so receptive to his advances. 

“One of the women gifted me this… salve. Some ointment they got from a trader.” He knew he wouldn’t need to pry for answers, she would work her way to telling him her concerns eventually. 

“And all the other matrons have been looking at me with these faintly pitying looks. At first, I just thought it was because I did not have a mother… but they sat me down last night for the most interesting conversation.” Her hand left his face to pick a grape before offering it at his lips. Acacius obediently accepted the fruit in his mouth. 

“They said my wifely duties would be very difficult.” She looked at him, as if awaiting a reaction.

“Why? I plan to be the most amenable of husbands, dulcissima.” He dropped an affectionate kiss on her palm. 

“Because of your size, Acacius. They said you would be very big, like a bull”— Acacius choked on the second grape she had shoved into his mouth, a strange sound between a strangled laugh and a cough escaped his mouth—“And it would hurt me very much but I should just lay back and endure. I do not want to endure…” 

Acacius took a moment to appreciate her aggrieved face, “Anaticula, did you not enjoy our play in your office—”

“Yes, about that. It is most uncommon I am told. But that bodes well for our marriage—” he huffed a laugh at the sagely nod she gave, he would have loved to hear her explain to an elderly matron how he had kissed her between her legs. Was that why he had been receiving odd and appreciative glances all day? He felt a flush climb up his neck, how many women had she told?

“I did enjoy it… but do men do it to compensate for the pain after they have taken their pleasure?” He blinked at her, it wasn’t an unreasonable conclusion based on what she knew.

“I assume… it should not be too difficult, right?” She said, almost as if convincing herself, “I’m told it is quite nice sometimes…”

“I swear to not do anything that doesn’t please you tonight, dulcissima.” 

“Everything you do pleases me.” She gifted him a soft smile. 

“Even when you believe it will hurt you?” He couldn’t help but tease her. 

“I know you won’t mean to.” And she sounded so certain that he felt a tender spot in his heart give away. He could still taste her essence on his lips. If all she allowed him tonight was to drink from her nectar, he would happily pass away on his knees with his head still buried between her thighs.

“Carissima, I will enjoy our nights together, and I expect you will find your pleasure as well. I will ensure it, because it brings me more joy and gratification than you can imagine—” 

“Can the newlyweds please be mindful that the guests are trying to eat their meals?”

His wife reared back with a soft gasp before turning to face her brother. Acacius was pleased to know he held the same effect on her as she had on him. Because he had been heedless of their wedding party all day. Their guests had been raucous, tittering and chatter filled the air; the wine flowed freely and the food was plentiful. Many people had come up to speak to them, but the conversations never extended beyond pleasantries and congratulations. 

After all, he was no longer an important political force and the highest echelons of society still didn’t know of his Priestess’ influence amongst the people. It was baffling how disconnected the aristocrats could be from those they considered lowly. Moreover, their guests were too busy ingratiating themselves with their young Emperor who was in attendance with his mother.

His wife had pointed out no less than three women who had thrown themselves at Lucius, quietly snickering to him when they were rejected. According to her, a prospective paramour had tough competition in both Fortuna and Ravi— who shared a very interesting history. His anaticula loved gossip, it was the most endearing thing about her. And she had informed him with great relish how both Macrinus and Ravi had been lovers once who chose to lead very different lives after earning their freedom. Macrinus had been different then, but he had slowly rotted and corroded just as his owners had. Ravi would go out of his way to help those Macrinus owned, Lucius and Fortuna included— grieving for the man he used to be. She believed the Emperor would be sharing his lovers. Acacius didn’t care as long as none of them came to disturb him and his wife. 

Acacius pulled his wife to stand, urging the wedding to its final ritual. He unbound their hands, so she could pray to the lares of her father’s home and bid them goodbye. He wordlessly assured their household gods that he would take care of her and keep her happy while leaving an offering of food and coins at their shrine. He watched as his wife’s eyes glazed over with tears, helplessly his hand found her arm offering her warmth and comfort. 

“If the lares are unwilling to part with you, tell them they can find you in my home.” He whispered to her. The words pulled a teary huff of laughter from her. 

“I miss my mother.” She quietly confessed. And Acacius felt his heart break for her. He gently wiped at the tears on her cheek, his nose stinging with his own tears as she leaned into his touch.

“She would have been the happiest at this match”—Her father told her, as he handed his wife a clay mask resembling her mother’s face—“take her with you to your new home. Let her guide and protect your family.” Acacius was grateful for another addition to their shrine.

He could think of no better protector than her mother. Acacius had been young and barely literate when he had arrived in Rome and the woman had shown him enough grace and favour to educate him along with her children. It was at her behest that her husband had trained him as a soldier. As a General, he had learned that diplomacy and negotiation prevented unnecessary bloodshed. While he was no politician, these were skills he had learned as a youth when he had watched the woman run her household and business. He remembered anaticula’s mother to be remarkable, shrewd and protective— qualities that he was grateful ran to her daughter as well.        

She lit a torch from their hearth and passed it to the matron of honour before her father and brother tearfully embraced her to say their goodbyes. As he had no family of his own, this man— his mentor— had served the role of his father in all the wedding rituals while his wife’s brother had served as her guardian. There was an uncertainty in the air, even as the guests had begun the wedding chants and songs. As a groom, he was supposed to put on a show of forcefully ripping his bride from the arms of her family. But he knew his wife did not agree with this particular tradition so he waited for her lead. 

She reached out for him and he pulled her closer by the hand, kissing her knuckles as she stood by his side. But instead of walking together, Acacius stooped to carry her, his arm coming under her hips to offer her a perch, another arm supporting her knees. He shouldered past the curtains and flower garlands on the archway of their door to walk out onto the street.

The entire city seemed to have shown up to see her married; in addition to the passers-by, those who used the charitable services she offered had shown to throw honeyed almonds and walnuts at the newlyweds— shouting their blessings and good wishes for her. Her arms found purchase on his shoulders as she looked over them to wave at someone in the crowd. His wife, overwhelmed and astounded at the love people had for her, buried her face in the crook of his neck, and his skin burned with the tears she shed there. Acacius soothingly rubbed her hip and placed a chaste kiss on her arm. He couldn’t help but feel so proud of the woman he loved. 

She sniffled and collected herself as they neared the neighbourhood crossroads, “Acacius put me down, we have to worship the shrine at the crossroads.” He heaved her higher in his arms to readjust his hold on her and bring her closer to the shrine at the crossroads. She placed a ceremonial coin to the protective gods of the shrine along with some food a boy had carried for her. 

Her friend Aquilia, another former vestal, served as the matron of honour and led their group to his home. While her marriage was not as long as was required for the role, her husband’s love for her had persevered through the three decades of her duties in the Temple. Acacius liked the man, he had vowed to take no other woman in his life and had kept his word. Although, he was still upset that all of the Vestals had suspected his anaticula was alive when he had believed her to be dead, but they had not thought to inform him. 

“Surely you don’t intend to carry me all the way home.” She spoke into the curve of his shoulder. He most certainly will carry her to their home.

“I’m too heavy, you’ll tire yourself.” He didn’t grace that with a response. He had carried men heavier than her; in the heat of the battle he had lifted drawbridges and ship towers. She should know better than to question her husband’s strength, he hadn’t earned his physique without the heavy labour. 

She gave a resigned sigh, he felt her warm breath down the back of his neck. She nuzzled behind his ear, and took a deep breath before her tongue lapped at the sensitive skin. Acacius shivered and his knees weakened, his grip instinctually tightened on her so she would not fall. 

“Carissima, wait… we are on the street.” He hissed through his teeth while she quietly laughed. She could not have tasted anything other than the light sheen of sweat he had worked up in the warm evening. His anaticula picked a honeyed almond stuck in the folds of his toga and apologetically offered it to his mouth, Acacius did not forget to kiss her fingertips for the gift. She took another sweet treat for herself that had been trapped in a crevice between them. 

Acacius finally set her down when they approached the new domus, allowing the Pontifex Maximus to utter some more prayers while his wife smeared the fat of the boar to honour Ceres, and the fat of a wolf to honour Rome on their doorposts. She tied the wool strings that had bound their hands to the handle of the door. He felt the first stirrings of impatience, to be so close to their home and not have her to himself was making his hands twitch. 

The guests clamoured to warn her to not step on the threshold as she entered her new home— doing so would insult Vesta and bring bad omen. But Acacius simply lifted her again, with an arm under her waist and knees so that her feet were as far from the threshold as they could be and carried her into their home. 

Only their family followed them inside and watched her light the hearth of her new home with the fire from her father’s home. Acacius extinguished the torch and threw the wood at the audience gathered at their door who rushed to catch it. 

It seems his wife was becoming impatient as well because she had begun the prayer and offerings at their shrine without him. Acacius bent to unlace her sandals, removing the single coin she had stashed in her footwear and placing it at the feet of the wooden Vesta in the shrine.

“Does that statue… look a bit like me?” She murmured. She had yet to discover the depths of his devotion. 

Acacius offered her a lamp and a bowl full of water, “I give you fire and water”—she touched both items—“You are the Domina of this household and master over everything that resides within its walls, including your husband, Carissima.” 

He kissed his wife before turning to his guests, resolutely ushering them out of his home and unceremoniously closing the doors on their teasing and obscene jeers.

You stared at the nuptial bed. It was small— too small. It would barely fit just Acacius, and that too only in width, because one end of the bed lifted into a curve they would have to rest their back against so their feet didn’t hang off the other end. Or perhaps this wasn’t the nuptial bed because it was here, out in the open courtyard, rather than in your husband’s sleeping quarters. But the bed was finely made, with sturdy wood and soft cushions decorated with roses and crocus petals— a current tingled in your belly at the sight of the aphrodisiac flower. That won’t be needed.

Acacius returned in a huff after seeing off your guests, plopping down on the chaise— because really this can’t be called a bed. You looked down at him, resplendent under the glittering moonlight; it made the grey hairs in his curls glimmer silvery. The torches around the atrium cast playful gold shadows across his face. Instead of a white toga as was the custom, he had chosen to drape the red cloak you had made for him all those years ago, its gold embroidery gleamed against his tanned skin. 

But it was his eyes, that made your heart flutter with the verses of love you didn’t have words to express. Acacius managed to make even the cold, luminous moon burn bright and hot in his eyes. Sometimes the way he looked at you still made your heart feel raw and vulnerable. You had waited thirty very long years for him to simply look at you— to recognise you. While you had loved him for as long as you could remember, never once had you hoped for his love too. Your younger self would be in disbelief had you told them one day he would be your husband.     

“Are you hungry?” He asked while stretching out his hand for you. 

You hurriedly shook your head, your insides were suffused with enough love and awe to sustain you for a lifetime. He pulled you to sit on his lap, his thigh felt strong and firm under your bottom. 

Acacius stroked your back, his hand was large and warm as it reached up to cradle your neck; his fingers calloused and firm as they massaged away any tension. Your head lulled back over his hand, a soft sigh escaping your mouth. He leaned forward, another hand coming over your waist pulling you closer into the heat of his chest. You gasped as Acacius kissed along your exposed neck, his beard deliciously scraping against your sensitive skin as his lips lingered over your beating pulse before reaching your upturned chin. He playfully bit your chin. 

You turned in his arms until both your legs framed his waist and you had straddled his lap. You pulled at the wool of his toga, removing it from his shoulders so it lay spread beneath him before your hand slid into his hair; the curls wrapping around your fingers as you claimed his lips with yours. The force of the kiss pushed him down until his head was leaning over the backrest of the chaise.

What you lacked in experience you made up for with need and desperation. There was a groan from his chest and his arms wrapped around your waist to haul you closer to him— something hard was prodding at your thigh. You reverently traced the shape of his lips, feather-soft kisses to the plump cushion of them, light licks over the swooping edges. But you craved more, more, more. You needed to feel his tongue against yours, you needed to be closer somehow. 

Your hand wrapped around his throat, fingers barely reaching the sides of the thick muscles. His heartbeat thundered on your fingers and then onto your palms as you slid your hand up to cup his wide, square jaw. You dug your fingers into his jaw to pry his mouth open. Acacius parted his lips to allow you to explore his mouth, you stroked and delved deeper in the chase for his tongue. He closed his lips around your tongue and suckled. His tongue met yours now, teasing and confident before he released you, placing a gentle kiss to the tip of your tongue and then on your closed lips.

“How do you want me, dulcissima?” He purred against your lips. 

You did not know what he asked of you, “Desperate.” You answered honestly. 

Acacius laughed. A loud, free sound that made your heart race. 

“For you? Always.” He promised as he guided your hips to sit directly on that hard, throbbing part of him. He did feel large.

“I will not do anything you do not wish me to, anaticula. Tell me, what do you want from me tonight?” His tone was breathy as if words were difficult for him. 

“Everything.” You didn’t want to waste another second. It didn’t matter how much it would hurt, but you needed a part of Acacius within you, physically and in every other way you could possibly consume him. 

“Are you sure?” He confirmed even as his hands had already unpinned your veil allowing it to fall behind you. But he waited, for permission, for something as small as a nod while he fingered the Hercules knot tied at your waist— a sign of your chastity.  

“Yes.” Your voice barely about a whisper. Acacius pulls the wool at your waist, both hands fisting your girdle around the knot, and breaks it with apparent ease instead of untying it. He then pushed your stola down over your shoulders until it pooled at your waist. Anticipation curled in your belly as he slowly pulled at the tiny bows that ran down your shoulders and along the sleeve of your tunic. Each tug of string was a sensual display of possessiveness and desire— his eyes were raptured on the swathe of skin as more of you was exposed to him. The tunic too fell at your waist, pooling over his lap and yours; only a plain binding lay between him and your breasts. And instead of unwrapping you, slowly as all his other actions had been. Acacius swiftly and impatiently tugged the fabric down. 

You both gasped at the movement, the cloth dragged across your sensitive nipples causing them to stiffen and bloom towards Acacius. The winds were blowing colder in the night than they were during the day. A shiver ran down your spine as you sat bare on his lap, he made no moves. Acacius just stared with intoxicating eyes; they roved over your body, studying your face, the slope of your neck, the expanse of your chest, the curve of your shoulder, the length of your arms and the swell of your belly until finally, they settled on the betrothal medallion that hung in the valley of your breasts. 

Even as you held still for him, allowing him to look his fill, the experience of being displayed thus was new and uncomfortable— no man had seen you this way. But it was not unwelcome. He looked breathless and awed, his hand faintly trembling as he brushed your nipples with the back of his fingers. The touch was so light, lighter than a feather, but it incinerated you, it sent a fiery current down to your womb which contracted; there was an insistent throb between your legs. 

But whatever sensation you felt seemed dwarfed by his reaction. Acacius shuddered. His eyes were wide and glassy. You placed a hand over his heart, its pace wild and erratic. Abruptly, he dug his fingers into your waist, lifting you off his lap and stood with you. Your clothes fell to your feet, and you fisted his tunic to guide it over his head. You regretted that he chose to wear the tunic that fell to his calf, the longer fabric took a few scant moments longer to be pulled over his head but the wait was torturous. His underwear swiftly followed yours on the floor. 

Acacius was better than anything you could have ever imagined. Better than those marble statues of gods and heroes, better than art and most certainly better than those erotic drawings you bought on the streets. He looked unworldly, bathed in both the cool of the moon and the warmth of the hearth. He had been stripped to his basest form now both hardened warrior and wild beast with the eyes of a man in love. Your husband. 

You laughed then, wide and happy, “You are divine, Acacius.” 

He answered with a chuckle, light flickering over the dimple on his cheek, “You do not see yourself, carissima.”

He held nothing of himself back as he allowed you to touch him; he sighed as you caressed his scars as if you relieved him of the pain, his breath hitched as your fingernails raked over the hair on his chest, he gasped as you scraped over his nipples. The planes and hills of his body leaned into your palm as you explored all the ways he was different from you.   

He did not stay still under your ministrations for too long and his lips fell on yours without reserve, his hands cupped your ass using it to pull you closer towards him. Your arms wrapped around his neck like a garland of love, a hand buried in his hair in a silent command for him to never stop kissing you, another hand exploring his broad shoulders, the stretch of his back and the bulk of his arms. You decided Acacius had to be naked until the sun rose tomorrow so you could study every freckle and spot on his body.

His kiss was raw, elemental— there were no gentle explorations and tentative touches. Acacius claimed and conquered, his lips on yours were hard and insistent while his hands on your body were rough and restless. He touched where no decent man would linger, using your delighted and shocked gasp to enter deeper into your mouth; you clung to his shoulders to keep up with his pace and only his hands held you upright. 

A calloused thumb grazed your nipple before he pinched and pulled at the sensitive flesh. You bit into his lip, giving it a sharp nip in response and Acacius groaned into your mouth. He kneaded the flesh of your hips, but his fingers slipped as they moved to the inside of your thighs. You were dewy and wet for him, the hairs and skin surrounding your sex were covered in slick moisture. 

He lazily explored your folds, his fingers parting and squeezing as they pleased until he bought his tips right against the bundle of nerves at the apex of your slit. You ground your hips against his curled fingers when he stilled his motions, desperate for the friction as your pleasure built, steadily climbing up your spine while he nipped under your jaw before receding to watch the sway of your hips to and fro, to and fro over his hand, smearing it with more of your sticky fluid. 

“Please…” You begged him. And Acacius moved his fingers then, in dizzyingly tight circles on your nub, his calloused finers offering just the right roughness needed for your muscles to seize. Warm currents coursed through your veins as you trembled and shuddered through your release in his arms— your skin overheated against the cold air. The hair on his chest dragged against your erect nipples causing more of your limbs to twitch; he held you close through your pleasure, his fingers unrelenting until the little bud was oversensitive to touch.

You rested your weight against him, your legs feeling too soft under you and took his flat nipple in your mouth wanting to give him the same pleasure he gave you. You gazed up through your lashes as he brought the hand that had been between your legs close to his mouth and groaned as he licked a wide strip from the side of his wrist to the centre of his palm. Your tongue lapped over his nipple to mimic the movement before encircling the little peak, you toyed it between your teeth and Acacius greedily shoved three fingers into his mouth to taste you— a soft breathy moan escaped him. 

He pulled you off his nipple, your lips making a soft pop sound as they left his flesh slightly red. His hand curled into your braids as he pulled you by the head, “Taste yourself on my tongue, anaticula. Sweeter than honey…” 

Your tongues met again in a dance of their own before you suckled his tongue as he had yours, drinking him in. You weren’t particularly sweet, but something about your taste mixed with the spit of his mouth sent a heady thrill through your body which made your toes curl. His hands roamed your body again, finding the spots and places that were sensitive, he lingered there with light touches and tender caresses— surprising you entirely when he sharply pinched your waist. You pushed deeper into the strength and heat of his body as your waist rolled with his unruly touch. Acacius swallowed the surprised moan from your mouth. 

He had always been so… staid, controlled and solemn that you had expected Acacius to be such in his intimate moments as well— respectful and gentlemanly. There had been a wild, unpredictable demon that had come out to play in your office all those weeks ago but you had attributed his actions then to the high tensions and unresolved conflicts. But he was here now, lurking in the dark gaze of his desire, the tremble of his lips and the urgent grasp of your body. He could barely contain himself. 

And it made you realise just how much of him you had yet to learn. Like the rest of the world, you had seen the dignified General. You knew the reluctant conqueror and the grieving soldier. You had met the loyal friend, the protective family, the kind elder in him. But you were unacquainted with this man before you— unrefined and almost savage under the influence and vulnerability of his own wants and impulses.   

It filled you with a childish, stupid sort of rage to know that others had seen him as such. He had lovers before you, while you were trapped in a temple. He was so familiar with the female body, while you had to flounder for answers. It made you all the more resolved to erase all those previous embraces and lovers from his mind. You clutched him closer still, his cock insistently pressing into your belly, the tip leaking and smearing a wet patch across your skin. 

From this day forward, there will be no other for either of you. It had been an entirely new discovery to know you were a jealous, shrewish sort of wife who could not even bear that her husband thought about another lover even in passing. Should your husband ever tire of this marriage, he will have to squeeze the life out of you himself to be free of you. And this realisation was entirely unsurprising, that you would be content with such a death. You only had one life and one heart but if you had more, those too you would gift to Acacius.   

You guided him to sit on the chaise again, and despite his forceful and desperate advances, he went obligingly— never once pulling his mouth away from yours, pulling you to sit on his lap. But you evaded his embrace and knelt between his feet the only way you knew how; like a devout priestess kneeling at the altar of her deity— like a lover submitting at the pulpit of her beloved. 

Your eyes trained on his phallus, you had seen the male form before on statues, art and even in ceremonial rites to ward off evil; but you had never seen one quite as wide or large as his— your fingers barely touched as you wrapped your hand around him. He hissed as you gripped him and stroked to its base, pulling some of the skin and exposing the angry bulbous head that was leaking clear beads of liquid. You moved to taste him as he had tasted you, but his hands framed your face, halting it in its descent. 

“What are you doing, anaticula? That is not for wives to do.” Of course, it wasn’t. It hadn’t been the old matrons who taught you how to suck a man’s cock. No husband from a respectable household would expect this from his wife. But you wanted this. And before shame could eat away at your courage you confessed to your husband. 

“But… I want to.” Ever since you had felt his tongue between your legs, there was very little you had thought of. You couldn’t bear the idea of never sharing this intimacy with him.

“You can explore all you like later. I can’t— I won’t last if you toy with me now…” His thumb caressed the apple of your cheek, his torso hulking and leaning over your knelt form.

“But we have all the time in the world, Acacius.” You struggled against the hold he had on your face, and stretched your tongue out of the confines of your mouth when he wouldn’t allow you closer to him. You barely tasted that small drop on the weeping slit of his cock on the tip of your tongue with a short cat-like lick. Acacius shivered.

He spread his legs wider and gave you a chaste kiss on your lips before lowering your mouth to his cock. The tip of it nestled against the curved roof of your mouth, the flared head pressing against the wrinkled ridges behind your teeth and it already felt so full. It was ticklish if not altogether strange sensation and you took him deeper until he was touching the more sensitive and softer part in the back of your mouth, your hand coming up to stroke the rest of his length that was left outside. 

You realised you could do this forever as your eyes closed shut. Your tongue was pressed to the vein that ran along the underside of his cock which thrummed with his heartbeat. It was like you were holding his beating pulse, his very heart, in your mouth. You felt his thigh quiver under your hand, and you chanced a curious glance up at your husband to behold the sight of him trembling, his teeth clenched and jaw twitching with the effort to remain perfectly still. And yes, you realised, you could do this forever— just hold him in your mouth until he lost his composure and grew desperate enough to fuck into your mouth. 

Acacius frowned at you, he looked dark and forbidding, “I know that look in your eyes, put away whatever idea you just came up with, wife.” He spoke through gritted teeth and his chest racked with the effort to breathe. 

You started moving your head, slowly at first as Acacius guided your hand to stroke over his length as he liked— tightening your grip and twisting your wrist. You hollowed your cheeks to envelop his cock tighter and suck him deeper inside your mouth, relaxing your throat to adjust to the fullness in your mouth. Perhaps, your husband was to be cursed with the most selfish sort of wife because you stopped looking for his reactions, his cock was in your mouth for your pleasure alone and whatever he might glean from it was secondary in your mind. 

He smelled of musk, sweat, the floral powder used to scent his clothes and something so addictingly Acacius. You rubbed your thighs together, the arousal had pooled from between your thighs to coat your ankles and feet under your folded legs. You hated to feel him receding from your mouth, sucking him as your head moved up, swirling your tongue around him to taste him before coaxing him deeper into your mouth again. Experimentally, you brought a hand to the sac hanging heavily under his cock, testing its weight and the hairy texture of the skin, gingerly massaging it until it drew tight in your palm. 

His cock jumped in your mouth as his hands entangled in your braids to pull you off him. But you suckled him with a petulant whine, refusing to be wrested off him. A warm, salty and slightly bitter taste filled your mouth while he wrenched your head off him, the rest of his spend falling in spurts across your face and neck. What a waste…

Acacius glowered down at you, mouth agape and panting, “You are going to be the death of me… One of these days you will kill me.” His eyes were focused on your tongue as you licked the side of your lips to taste more of him. And he watched as some of his cum glittered on your skin as it trickled down until it was halted in its path by the gold chain hanging from your neck. He lapped at your skin, collecting his cum from the chain and depositing it into your mouth with what could barely be considered a kiss, his tongue surged into your mouth until you had cleaned his thick release off it.

You felt a smug satisfaction as you noticed that he was still shaking, a bit unsteady on his feet as he stood and lifted you onto the chaise. You thought you could consummate your marriage now, but to your confusion he knelt before you— his cock looking much flatter, softer. You felt your lower lip wobble as Acacius guided you to lean back. Was it supposed to do that?

“What did you think was going to happen?” He chastised you. 

“I had no reason to believe he would just go soft like that… can’t you make him go up again?” You whispered, a bit uncertain of the male anatomy. Would you not be able to consummate your marriage tonight?

Acacius leaned over to kiss your pouting lips, “It comes back faster when you’re younger.” 

You adoringly caress his bearded cheek as he smiles down at you, an uncertain vulnerability curved about that smile. You struggled to think of what to say to him, he could be old and decrepit and you would still be glad to have him as your husband. You had still wanted him a few short hours ago when you had been expecting pain and shame on your marriage bed, and you wanted him more now that he had shown you pleasure and wonder instead. You loved him not because of his prowess in bed but because of the simple fact that he was Acacius— steadfast, loyal, protective, kind, and loving, oh so loving.

But complex sentences evaded your mind as his lips closed around your nipple, he lingered there with his teeth and tongue before moving just a bit below to bite under your areola. He insistently sucked the flesh of your bosom into his mouth until it came away with a small bruise. His lips traversed down your body in a sensual dance of kisses, nips and almost painful bites. He spread your legs and groaned at the sight of your arousal smearing large patches of your limbs. 

“So wet for me, anaticula.” His voice was breathless.

“You’re perfect.” You settled for simpler words that were just as true. He was perfect. Acacius huffed a warm burst of laughter. 

“I’m glad you think so, wife.” He chimed even as his gaze seemingly searched for the sincerity in your eyes.

“I love you.” You offered him another nugget of truth. 

You watched as the colour rose from his chest to his neck, Acacius shyly smiled before obscenely licking at your arousal and suckling another bruise on the inside of your thigh. He was marking you.   

You squirmed with anticipation, feeling his hot breath on your cunt as he spoke, “Don’t worry, he’ll be back just as we have prepared you some more.” 

“Here, hold these for me.” He spread your thighs and pushed them towards you, your hands came under your knees to hold yourself open for him as he had commanded. 

His mouth on your cunt was a reunion like no other. Acacius remembered every sensitive spot and fold of your sex. But the swooping in your womb had more to do with the sight of him rather than the pleasurable feeling of his tongue on your slit— his mouth attached to your cunt, eyes glazed over with a half-awake and half-asleep look in his eyes, lashes gracefully fluttering as he tasted you, a patch of his cheekbone shimmering under the lamp light where the slick from your thighs had smeared across his face.                

Gone was the urgency with which he had devoured you previously in your office, he was instead languid and slow. But there was a fervour in his grip and his fingers painfully dug into the flesh of your hips. He toyed with one of the lips covering your opening, sucking it into his mouth and nipping it with his teeth before doing the same with the over. His tongue roved over your sex sometimes just the tip, lightly and ticklishly grazing over a sensitive spot, and other times he was insistent, tongue flat against your folds as he roughly lapped up your essence. 

You grew desperate as he purposely avoided that crest right at the apex of your sex that would ensure you would see stars behind your eyes again. And you grind your hips against his face, hoping to catch the needy spot against his nose, or his lips or even his chin— the lightest of touch there could set you off, you were so close, the tension curled so tightly inside you. There was a resounding smack in the air, it didn’t occur to you that Acacius would hit you until there was a tingling on the side of your ass, the impact making you gush into his mouth.

“Of course, you would enjoy something like this,” He murmured. And he laughed. He had the audacity to laugh as his lips closed around the exposed little bud, the vibrations of his amusement travelling straight into your nerves. You came undone with a shout, your eyes unseeing while your veins felt alit with delicious flames coursing through them followed by warm currents that doused your body in a dreamy languor. You lost your grip under your knees, letting your legs fall apart in the most inelegant fashion but still spread so wide for your husband. Acacius moved away with a teasingly tutting at you, and you whimpered at the loss.

“Hold them for me again,” He said. And you obediently took your position, hands under your knees, lifting your trembling legs so you were entirely exposed for him. 

Acacius took your clitoris in his mouth again, his tongue encircling the oversensitive bud. You felt his thumb gather some of your slick before going down to the ring of muscles far below your cunt. You gasped his name in surprise as his digit followed the same dizzying circles around the ridged fig-like skin surrounding that opening. 

“Is this alright? Do you trust me?” You gave a hasty wordless nod for both questions. 

Acacius pressed two fingers into your cunt and suddenly it was all a bit too much. His tongue flicked the bundle of nerves, the intrusion of his fingers felt foreign and the thumb circling your other hole was sending waves of pleasure to muscles you hadn’t realised could be used for such a purpose. He watched you restlessly whimper and whine with half-lidded eyes as you squirmed at his touch. He released the nub of flesh from his mouth, making soothing sounds as he comforted you. 

“Relax for me, let it happen, my love, do not fight it.” He said as he curled his fingers inside you catching some dormant set of nerves which threw you into another release. You came with a gasp, still shaking and quivering as he pressed soft kisses to the inside of your thigh. You hadn’t yet descended from the heights of your pleasure, your muscles feeling fuzzy and boneless when he flipped you over. Your head rested sideways over the backrest of the chaise as Acacius guided your own hands to your ass. 

“Spread yourself for me, wife.” His tone clipped and terse. You had thought yourself past surprise and shame but were still so unprepared for the feel of his tongue against your anus. His tongue burned hot against the ring of muscle as he held it in place while his fingers found their way inside your cunt again, three this time instead of the two before. And this time he lets you grind yourself on his face. You are mindless and hazy with pleasure, there is no real pace or rhythm to your hips.

His hand curved around your waist so he could curl his fingers into your clit, providing delicious friction as you swayed your hips. His fingers lazily dragged in and out of you, his beard scraped against your sensitive skin, and his tongue pressing hot and wet against the opening of your ass, burrowing inside despite your haphazard movements. Acacius gives you a deep hum of approval the more desperate and determined you grow in pursuit of another release. 

It crept up on you, steadily climbed your spine, long and drawn out rendering you utterly silent as your body gripped and convulsed barely being able to hold itself up. For several moments you were lost to the world, Acacius circled and patted the erect bud of nerves until you stopped twitching while another had soothingly stroked and petted over your shivering skin. He turned to lay you on the chaise, pressing an affectionate kiss to your parted lips and covered you with his own body, whispering soft praise and encouraging words as his legs entangled with yours— you gasped at the feel of his weight, another throb coursing down your sated sex, you clenched around the tip of his cock as he bullied his way inside.

As he had promised, it did not hurt. But you felt full, and far too relaxed and pliant to be overwhelmed even with the slight burn of the stretch. Dazed, you noticed the wet patch on the backrest where his hand gripped— you had drooled. It was worse, your release had coated his cloak underneath you, it glistened against his face and it dripped down his chin, his neck, his chest. 

“Dulcissima, you have to let me in, please— you’re strangling me. Breathe—” Acacius was tense, speaking through gritted teeth, his words breaking from his effort to breathe. And your body complied with his request, you could never deny him. And you felt complete once he had nestled inside you, filling not only your cunt but your heart and your soul. Your gaze was wondrous and awed as you held him inside you, you clenched around him trying to pull him impossibly closer still. 

He gasped before kissing you again, trying to hold most of his weight off you. You stay that way, connected in more ways than just the physical, locked together in both love and ecstasy— your hands exploring his warm skin and the strong contours of his body. A surprising laugh bubbled up your throat when you realised Acacius had broken into goosebumps, his hair raised alert and small bumps ran along his arms. 

His forehead pressed against yours and you nudged his nose with yours gazing into the eyes of your beloved seeing the love and adoration reflected there. He softly caressed your cheek and your temple, “I haven’t done this in years,” he confesses. Years?

“Good.” 

He chuckles at your response, “Good? It means I won’t last long…”

“You don’t have to. It is done, is it not? The consummation.” 

He pecks your nose, “We aren’t done until you come all over my cock, anaticula.” 

And then he moves, in sufficiently long and deep strokes that have your eyes rolling back, grinding his hips so the hair above his cock rubs against the erect nub above your opening. Your nails dig into his back, the coil of pleasure winding tighter at your core. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the skin of your neck. 

“It doesn’t hurt.” You told him as your hips rolled to meet his thrusts.

“I’ve done you a disservice—” Why was he talking? Did he expect you to hold a conversation? All you could manage was a broken keen when he rubbed the most perfect spot on the inside. 

“You’ve been trapped in a temple for thirty years, you deserved to see the world, take a few lovers, but I have trapped you instead.” 

“No—” He couldn’t possibly be saying these things while his arm wrapped under you to massage your anus. 

“You can roam the world, freely conduct your business— take over Rome if you want to— I’ll follow you… anywhere. I’ll go.” He wiped the tears that slipped out of your eyes before continuing, “But this is what you will do at the end of every day, anaticula.”

“You will go about your dreams and ambitions and then you’ll come home every night into my arms, my bed, with my cock buried deep in your cunt. Do you understand?” He brutally snapped his hips into you while you responded with some sound between a sob and a laugh. 

“Say it, say it to me. Tell me you’re mine.” He commanded, his eyes overcome with a zealous light. His fingers dipped into the tight ring of your ass. You could feel his cock all the way in your throat.

“We’ll have to train this hole of yours open if you do not want children, carissima. This is where I will fuck you next. But you’ll take me, like a perfectly biddable wife— into your heart, into your body. It is my home, and you will not cast me out—”

“I want them— I want children, everything you give me— please please please— Acacius.” You begged. 

“I’m yours. Your wife, your lover, your whore— please, Acacius—” You weren’t sure what you were asking of him. But your husband, ever the provider, brushed his fingers against your clit and you shattered under him with a distorted scream. You convulsed and shook underneath him with no effect as his weight pressed down on you. And your husband followed soon after, shivering and groaning as he painted the inside of your cunt with his warm seed; your walls fluttered around him to milk every last drop of it. 

“Daughters… wife. Give me daughters, ones who take after their mother in both looks and heart.” He prayed to you. Acacius stayed that way for several long moments, reverently kissing your warm and sweaty skin while you felt him softening inside you. You clenched around him in distress, hating the inevitable loss as he slipped out of you.

You had watched with great interest as he had stumbled away from you, admiring the sight of his ass, wishing you can sink your teeth into it. And with even more interest, you stared at his cock as he returned with a wet cloth to clean you both along with a tray of food he had prepared. The both of you had ravenously polished off the feast of olives, cheese, fruits, stuffed dates, spiced cookies, bread and sausages. Your husband had plied you with more wine before dipping his strawberries in your cunt to eat them; they tasted sweeter that way he had claimed and you hadn’t believed him until you had cleaned up honey from his cock which had tasted impossibly sweeter to you.

You lay on him, sleep still evading you because you knew you had to address his words when he had been inside you. Your back leaned against his chest, and Acacius had parted his legs to make room for your bottom between them. Another reason sleep was not possible, this chaise was too small for both of you— you told your husband as much. 

“You should have seen the one they brought before, it was much smaller… So I built this one.” He chuckled.

“You built this bed yourself?” You whispered, appreciating the work and polish under new light. You thought he only worked on smaller projects.

He hummed in response, “And the bed in our chambers. Don’t worry, I made that one palatial.”

“So why aren’t we there?” You laughingly demanded. 

“Because I wanted the heavens to witness our consummation, dulcissima.” And your heart fluttered again. 

“I still quite like this one, despite how small it is… It’s our marriage bed and I’ll be fucking you on it as often as I can.” Despite, how sated and spent you felt, heat still curled in your belly at his promise. 

“You know, Acacius”—you turned in his arms to face him, chin resting against the swell of his stomach, you gazed up at him with imploring eyes—“You have done me no disservice. I wanted to marry you.”

You couldn’t hold in the words any longer, “You can never imagine yourself as some chain around my feet… you make me brave. You bolster me, make me feel safe— like I will always have someone on my side.” 

He sweetly caressed your spine, “I’ll never give you cause to be disappointed in our marriage, anaticula.” 

“You couldn’t disappoint me if you tried, Acacius.” You struggled against the insecurities in his mind, before realising that only time will reassure him. 

“I love you,” Acacius said, not as a confession or a desperate sigh, but in the same steady way he would voice a fact. 

“I love you, too,” You whispered against his chest. 

“Are you sore?” He gently asked. 

You were, not just between your legs but also in your heart— you shook your head in denial. Just a little white lie because you knew that having him close, having him inside you could cure all ails. 

Acacius watched the sun rise, as he would on most days of his marriage— casting his wife in an ethereal glow, the rays shining down on all the marks he had left on her body while she languorously rode his cock to their shared bliss. 

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

05: The Loneliest

Charles Leclerc x driver!OC (Dafne Morelli)

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Charles POV, jaeloussy, Melanie (you'll see), maybehelovesherbutheissoidiottoadmititsohepreferstoactlikehehatesher.

a/n: Hiiii!!! I hope everyone is okay and excited because today is race day!! And Lando is onpole yayyyy. Also, I hope everyone has a great start of summer :3

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The first time the Morelli family met my family was during a trip we made to Greece during summer. Our families sat close to each other during the meals in the restaurant and our parents talked with each other, making us, the kids, hang out together.

The first time I saw Dafne Morelli, she was wearing a pink summer dress with little flowers in it, with her long chocolate hair tied in two pigtails, and her tiny hand wrapped around a plushie of a cat.

At first, we were friends, as friends as you can be with someone you just met. Her sisters and my brothers were the same age, the two of us were middle kids, and somehow we understood each other. 

The first time she said she hated me was a day I was feeling completely sick, wasted. That day I woke up with a stomach ache and I tried to hide it, not wanting to worry my parents, and somehow not wanting to miss the fun of the day.

Our families went together to a beach near the hotel, planning on spending the entire day there, having lunch in a restaurant that is on the first row in front of the beach. I tried my best to seat something, but that made it worse and the nausea kept growing, making me feel anxious.

“Charlie, are you okay?” Dafne was the first one to notice that something bad was happening to me, looking at me worried.

“Yeah, don't worry” 

I barely went to the water that day, staying in the towel, sitting there alone. Until Dafne came to sit next to me.

“Are you sure you are okay?” 

I nodded, looking away and making her sigh. But she stayed there with me. For a moment I thought I was feeling better, so I got up and looked at her, reaching for her hand.

“Let's walk to those rocks, I saw a cat over there” 

She got up with a jump and grabbed my hand, walking with me and searching with her blue eyes for a cat.  And when we found it, she smiled wide. She clapped her tiny hands softly, looking at the calico cat.

“It's so cute!” she gasped, pointing her finger to the animal. “Did you know that in Japan they think that a calico cat means luck?”

“Oh really?” I smiled looking at her. 

“Yes! They think that they scare the ghosts, that's why the men that work on the ships brought them with them. To scare the ghosts” she nodded.

“How do you know that?”

“I'm a cat lover”

I laughed and she looked at me, then at the cat. 

But what happened next was what started it all.

She held my cheeks with her hands and pressed her lips on mine quickly, making me flinch and keep my eyes closed. That was my first kiss.

Maybe it was the nerves because of it, or the fact that I ate when my stomach refused to be nice, or maybe it was the smell of the sea. 

But the moment she took a step back, looking at me with a wide smile, I threw up right in front of her, coughing and gasping.

I heard her gasp and fall back, making her hurt her hands and cry. I gasped once I felt my stomach empty, looking at her, watching how her hands had blood and tiny rocks in it and her eyes full of tears.

“I hate you, Charles Leclerc!” she cried, trying to get up and running away from me. She never called me by my full name.

Dafne Morelli. My first kiss. And the one that hates me the most.

When I started karting, my family invited her family to join us. 

Dafne never talked to me again, and somehow I felt bad because of it. It was like I didn't exist after that incident on the Greek beach. Even if I tried to explain myself, she always walked away, hugging her cat plushie.

I got confused because of that. At first I thought it was because she felt embarrassed, because I threw up just the moment after she kissed me. During all that week when our families were together for the first time, Dafne and I were stuck to each other, playing together and taking naps in the same bed.

At first I thought it was because she discovered the boys were disgusting. But then I saw her with Jules, smiling and talking with him, blushing. 

And somehow, that feeling I never knew I could feel, grew wild. Jealousy. I was jealous. But of what? Of who?

I saw her talking with other boys, smiling and laughing. And when she was near me, everything I received was a glacial gaze, with her blue eyes freezing me even on the hottest day of July.

But what I hated the most is that she started karting too. That Jules was helping her too. That sometimes she was better than me. That, no matter what, she always had her chin up and a proud smile, even if she lost a race or her engine stopped working. 

I started to hate her confidence. How people helped her. How, after she took me out of a race and I was practically sent to the mud, everyone ran to her to check if she was alright.

“Why do you hate her?” Jules asked me after I recognized, for the first time, that I hated her. “She's not bad”

“She is” I groaned. “She makes mistakes and people still congratulate her. It's because she's a girl? I'm doing better than her and no one comes to celebrate my podium like how they go to celebrate her points”

“You are jealous” he sighed. “You have to understand that girls do not always succeed in this sport. People cheer for her because she's brave and she tries. Why do you keep making it harder for her?”

Jules always knew that my career was going to be brilliant. He helped me be on the teams I liked, talked about me to the team principals. And he did the same with Dafne.

And I should feel proud that a woman I know was becoming famous, getting the credits for everything she did. 

But why couldn't I? Why did I always have to keep fighting her, teasing her? Why did I have that need of challenging her to see where her limit was? 

At some point, I forgot why I hated her. Was it because I was jealous? Or maybe because I

was afraid of who she would become if no one stops her? Maybe because people like her more. 

The morning I woke up next to her I felt somehow familiar.

That scent, one that never changed, was next to me again, making me dream with my childhood and those beaches with crystal clear water. It was warm and soft, making me remember that little girl that always asked me to take naps with her.

But when I noticed it was her, I immediately knew that it was a mistake.

Her loud voice made my ears ring, starting a headache I would have for the rest of the day.

When she made me look around the room I understood it. I slept with her.  And our naked bodies and the clothes spread over the floor said that it wasn't only that.

The anger she held in her eyes was something I never saw and it made my heart squeeze tightly, making me swallow thickly and take a step back.

But then, again, words started to blurb without control out of my mouth, making me dissociate from my own body and not understand what was happening. Why am I insulting her? Why is she screaming? Why am I provoking her? Why… Why did she say she slept with Mick? Why, why, why?

The moment her heel hit my chest and threatened me I knew I had to leave before things started to get worse.

This time I fucked up. Big time. 

Jules would be so disappointed with me. So, so, so disappointed. And disgusted.

When I closed the door behind me I gasped, turning around and just facing the door of my own room. 

I thought it was my room. I had sex with Dafne thinking it was Melanie. 

I clench my jaw and search for the key to my room, opening it carefully. But then I found something that, somehow, I knew it could happen.

Melanie with a random guy on my bed. Of course.

“Get out” I said, standing in front of the bed and looking at them. “The two of you. Now!”

They woke up and gasped, hiding their bodies with the blanket. I scoffed, shaking my head and grabbing clean clothes, searching for my phone.

Fuck, where did I leave it? I couldn't find it last night. Where is it? Maybe in the club of the hotel.

“You better be out of this room once I come back” I told Melanie and the other guy. “And whatever that you thought that was going on between us, is done”

I groan and get dressed in the bathroom, not looking at them before walking out of the room.

My mind was spiraling, getting flashbacks from last night. The words I said about Dafne. How angry she was. How did I get to this point? Why? Why can't I stop?

When I went to the club and asked if they found a phone, I knew someone stole it when the guard said there wasn't a phone on lost objects. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I groaned, walking away and going back to the room. Thankfully, Melanie and that guy were no longer there.

I sat on the bed and sighed, looking around. Where is my phone, God damn it. 

After searching all over the room, and not finding it, I gave up and packed all my stuff to leave the room and go home. I'll have to give up the private jet and go home by car, using the GPS of the car and probably listening to the radio.

I walked out of the room with my backpack and suitcase, going to the hall and looking around to see if I could find my family. But they probably left already. Great.

I sighed, going to my car and placing my things there, starting the engine and driving out of the city, driving through the road on my way home.

Nearly four hours of silence, only with the occasional voice of the GPS. I hated it, but I started to think about everything that happened.

Did I really say that Dafne sucked dicks to get on her seat? That she doesn't deserve to be in Formula 1? Who was saying that? Me? 

Twenty years of knowing each other and I still can't understand why I hate her and why she hates me. And it feels that the only thing we know to do when we are around each other is to fight. Why can't we stop? It's so exhausting fighting with her. Why can't I go back in time and tell that little girl that I was feeling sick, that I needed to throw up and stay in bed? 

The moment I opened the door of my apartment I felt my body heavier than ever. I was exhausted, my head was going to explode and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep until tomorrow. 

But I knew I had to do things. I had to go to the bank to cancel my account, just in case whoever stole my phone decided to give themselves a feast and use the card of the phone to buy things. I had to go to the phone company to cancel my card and ask them to give me a new one. I had to use my laptop to close all the social media on my phone.

It felt like I was isolated. Things were happening without me knowing it. People were saying things without me knowing it.

I spent most of the day out, taking care of things and even buying a new phone, assuming I wasn't going to see my old phone anymore.

At first I didn't notice it, but everyone I found in the street or people from the stores were staring at me. Not in a good way, that's what I noticed after the fourth store I walked in. The smiles and welcomes were inexistent. No one walked towards me to take pictures with me. 

When I went back to my apartment, there was another pair of shoes at the front door.

Melanie.

“What are you doing here” I frowned, leaving the bags on the table. “I think I left it clear that I was done with you”

“You actually don't hate her, do you?”

I frown looking at her, clenching my jaw. What is she talking about?

“It’s only a facade” she said. “Come on, it makes sense! And it's perfect for marketing. What was the fandom calling it… Oh, right! Enemies to lovers”

“What are you talking about, Melanie” I frowned.

“You know, at first I was curious when I found out about you” she nodded. “When we matched on Raya I searched for you on Instagram. And there was something that caught my attention. You like brunettes. But not only that. Brunettes with blue eyes”

I clench my jaw, listening to her. There's no way she's saying what I think she will say.

“And then I saw her” she laughed. “Your so-called enemy, Dafne Morelli. How curious, huh? Brunette and blue eyes. You clearly have a type. And that made me think… You dated girls that look like her because you can't have her? That's so ridiculous, you know?”

“Who I date is none of your business” I frowned, trying to defend myself.

“Don't worry” she laughed. “In fact, I helped you to make it more obvious that you hate her. Just so no one will suspect about you being in love with your teammate”

“You are crazy” I groaned. “Me in love with her? Don't make me laugh”

“It wasn't me who went to her room last night to fuck her” she said. “And here's your phone”

I frown and look at her, grabbing her bag and placing my phone on the table. She had it? All this time?

“You should thank me” she smiled. “I probably saved you from telling a lie in public”

“A lie?” I frown.

“Oh, yeah” she chuckled. “Your boss sent you a text asking you to apologize for the words you said last night. I mean, you know what they say about drunk people, that they always tell the truth. And yesterday you were wasted”

I clench my jaw and grab my phone. She knew my code, I told her. What the fuck did she do?

“What have you done” I frown while reading the messages. 

“What you deserve” she laughed, getting up and walking past me. “You wanted to win? I helped you. You're welcome”

Before I could say anything to her, the door of the apartment closed behind her. I grabbed my phone and read everything. The messages I didn't write, the punishment I'll receive. Then the posts on Twitter and Instagram about what happened last night. The hate towards Dafne. 

What have I done?

~

Days went by. My family stopped talking to me disappointed by my actions. I don't blame them, I deserve it.

I tried to talk with Dafne's sisters, but none of them texted back. 

The days I went to Maranello she wasn't there, somehow she found a way of avoiding me just by looking a t the schedule. 

Everyone in the factory was mad with me, disappointed. And it's all my fault. I reached the limit of what was acceptable. And even if I thought about going to talk with Fred and explain that I didn't write those texts, I knew he wouldn't believe me. Why would he? He knew about my rivalry with Dafne.

So I had to accept the blame. I felt ashamed of myself.

“I just don't get it, mate” Pierre sighed, sitting next to me after we went to the golf course. “I knew you and Dafne were rivals since forever, even during karting. But what you said the other Sunday… I'm sorry, but I never imagined you would say something like that”

“I guess… I guess I'm jealous” I sighed. “And I know it sounds childish, that's the worst. But somehow, whenever I see her near me I dissociate and let my body work, watching how it acts alone without me knowing what's going on”

“And why can't you try and talk with her, to explain?” he sighed.

“Believe me, I tried to do that twenty years ago” I sighed, shaking my head. “And she just ignored me, running away. And I probably made her family hate me. So… Hurray…”

I sigh and hold my head with my hands, taking a deep breath. 

“You know she's receiving hate, right?” he sighed. 

“I know… and it's my fault” I groaned. “And I can't apologize because Melanie just did the stupidest thing ever and no one will believe me”

“I told you that girl was suspicious and you never heard…” Pierre laughed weakly, patting my back. “But maybe you should find another way to apologize. I don't know… Use your imagination”

“Yeah, sure” I sighed. “Can you… Can you ask Kika to keep an eye on her? I know they are friends”

“Of course” he nodded.

When I went back to my apartment I frowned when the receptionist called me to give me a letter.

“Seems important, sir” he said. “The mailman came asking for you to give it in hand, but I told him you were out. He asked me to give it to you personally”

“Thank you” I nodded, grabbing the letter and going to my apartment.

I sighed, sitting on the couch and looking at the envelope, opening it. 

And then my breath hitched when I read what it said.

She reported me. She really reported me for defamation.

Fuck.

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @apollosfavkiddo @sltwins @glitterquadricorn @ladystardust05 @theseerbetweenus @vizzzashley @auawdo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @leptitlu

[moscnios]

Straw Hats x Fem reader platonic! This just popped into my head after watching ATLA! What if S/O, who’s mute, owned a pet messenger bird? No, scratch that, a pet messenger hawk? Sharp-looking, intelligent, and fast, he’s her pet companion that she takes care of sweetly and kindly. He can deliver messages to anyone around the world! I’m surprised that One Piece didn’t have a pet parrot, besides Karoo. HCs?

★ WITH A MUTE CREWMATE WHO HAS A PET MESSENGER HAWK! headcanons ★

── featuring. the strawhats.

── cw. gn!reader. no pronouns used. platonic. mentions of your hawk fighting zoro and sanji lol. not proofread.

── notepad. this has been sitting in my inbox SO LONG. IM SO SORRY. i really hope this reaches the og anon.

accidentally crossing paths with the new rag-tag group of hotshot pirates that were becoming a thorn in the side of the marines was unexpected. becoming a trusted member almost overnight was even more so

you are welcomed with open arms by your new family. well, you and your vigilant and protective hawk that was always perched on your shoulder, ready to snap at the hands of your new and still unfamiliar crewmates if they got to get too close to you

luffy, friendly and touchy as he can be, seems to be your hawk's main victim of the pecking. he never learns

outside of steering clear away from your violent friend with wings, the straw hats do everything in their power to ensure you are comfortable. never will you ever feel left out with them

they make sure to always include you in conversations, even if you don't want to contribute to them

they learn other ways to communicate with you, whether it is handing you a pen and a pad to write on, or starting to learn sign language. whatever makes you the most comfortable

your crewmates have an unintentional habit of checking for you the moment you are no longer in their line of sight

nami is the worst about it. she can't even count the number of times she almost had a heart attack thinking you were gone because she didn't see you for more than five seconds, before smothering you in big sister hugs and scolding you to never do it again

franky is the second worst about it. the one time the two of you went on a mission to find supplies in a village, he got distracted and kept walking, not noticing that you stopped a while ago. when he turned around and you were nowhere to be found, he was losing it. he called for you all over the village before falling to his knees in despair and crying a river before you returned having already found the supplies. he swore if he wasn't already crying he would have cried tears of joy when he saw you again

the straw hats find your pet hawk and the bond that the two of you share is very cool. to demonstrate their intelligence, you write a letter to your family back home and send your hawk on its way. when the bird returns a day later with another letter when its journey should have taken them weeks, the straw hats are in amazement

every now and then they ask your permission to send letters to their loved ones, even though you've told them several times that they don't need permission

it was just getting your hawk to like them is a whole other thing

your hawk absolutely loves chopper and robin. when they are not near you, they are perched on the top of chopper's hat, watching the reindeer do his tasks, while feeding them snacks in between.

while with robin, your hawk is comfortable enough to snuggle into her lap and fall asleep as they do with you while she reads on the deck of the sunny. you're starting to think they love her more than they love you

but you need more than two hands to count the number of times your hawk has left a few of your crewmates full of scratches due to being irritated by them, mostly zoro and sanji because of their "stupid bird" comments

well what can you do, the bird has a mind of its own

MANGEKYOU 2024 ── do not copy, repost, or translate my works onto this platform or any other !

[colourstreakgryffin]

Moxie and millie + genderfluidy/n who is their adopted imp child platonic headcanons

Haha! Awwww! Let’s gooo~! M&M deserve their own baby! I’ll try my best to handle a Genderfluid coming out and Genderfluids as a whole, please forgive me if I’m handling you wrong. I’m not perfect! As usual… a bit short but I really like this one!

Moxxie and Millie- Appling

Moxxie is that loving doting father who is so clingy and sobs over his child being so precious. Like Blitzø, he wants to be a better parent than his own so he gives you unconditional love and support, he’ll always listen to you and he’d die to protect you. He never pushes you into anything you don’t want. He takes up a parenting style similar to his late mother

Millie, on the other hand, kinda sticks more to the way she was raised as a country gal but she doesn’t try to parent you like some callous tough southerner or to be like that, she only wants you to be tough enough to handle yourself and protect yourself! She is affectionate and kissy like Moxxie and especially loves giving you piggyback rides!

You are always holding one of their hands; either one, it doesn’t matter. One of your parent is always nearby if the other isn’t. Some days, Millie is with you all day and other days, Moxxie is with you all day! They trade looking after you singlehandedly and guarding you but don’t blame them for being cuddly and snuggly. They LOVE you deeply

Moxxie and Millie are the type of parents to always buy you presents, small or big. Rather you worked for them or not! They love you and they’ll pick up whatever thing they find they think you’ll like. Their spoiling mannerisms grow during your birthday

Moxxie and Millie bring you to get together with your maternal family once a month so you can grow familiar with Millie’s family. You’re always welcomed in with open arms and Sallie Mae adores playing with you, she’ll ask to babysit you at times

However. Never ever suspect you’ll meet your paternal grandfather, both of your parents refuse to let you meet Crimson… just. Nothing more, just that you’ll never know who Crimson is and your parents will actively avoid you being anywhere near that mafia boss

Moxxie doesn’t want you using weapons like guns and knives but Millie wants you to know self-defence so you’re split inbetween both… both knowing self-defence and not knowing self-defence

Moxxie and Millie love to bring you to cafés. Like those cute homely cafés with coffee and pastries. It’s kinda a ritual now, they’ll take you to your favourite and they remember your regular. It’s a great time since it’s a peaceful bonding time of you and your parents

Honestly… people are always surprised when Moxxie or Millie explain that you’re adopted… you look JUST like them. Not even just because you’re a Imp but because you just look like their lovechild

Moxxie and Millie are very accepting parents so when you finally get the courage to come out, the older you get, that you’re genderfluid. They both support you without any problem, and ask your pronouns every day so they can correctly identify you

Millie is more violent with her protectiveness over you than Moxxie is, so if you’re being bullied, both will try to resolve your problem differently and both are equally stubborn. Moxxie will give a big harsh lecture to your harassers whilst Millie will beat them with a inch of their life

Moxxie and Millie have those cute solo parent days with you as well. A mother-child day and a father-child day where both arrange fun events with you. Either way, you’ll come back covered in presents and with your father or mother having the time of his or her life! It’s precious

Moxxie and Millie prefer to leave you at home so you don’t have to see their job, mainly because you’re quite safe when you’re back at home and you don’t spend time around I.M.P, especially around Blitzø and his daughter, Loona since they consider those two bad influences on you

Yeah… Moxxie is also the type of father to cry hysterically when you do anything ‘adult’ since he is watching his precious baby grow up right in front of him. Millie‘s that type of mother to comfort then encourage you to try ‘adult’ things as you grow up, even if both would prefer you to stay as their little appling of their eye

Moxxie and Millie are a mixture of strict and loose. They’ll enforce rules of the house to protect you and ensure you know right from wrong as suspected but as soon as the punishment is over, both Knotlastnames are tackling you to pepper your cute squishy face with all the love their hearts carry for you

Moxxie and Millie are also the type of parents to always invite your friends over, rather you know or not. They like knowing who your friends with and they’ll happy cook for your friends, they’ll happily pick up your friends, they’ll happily chat with your friends. Both of your parents encourage your friends, if you’re happy, they are happy

This beautiful couple really is the best parents in Hell. You’ll grow up loved and cared for in all manners, happy with your gender identity and capable of being a perfectly functional adult!

“Oh, sweetie… you’re not wrong for feeling like this. I understand that you don’t feel like a girl today, but feel like a boy. That’s called being Genderfluid, cakepop. Listen to me, Mama and I will always love you across all the Rings, no matter who you love or what gender you say you are”

“Pumpkin-spice… no, no, no. Do’n ya’ cry now. Papa is so proud of’ou, I’m so proud of’ou, for final’y tellin’ me your feelin’s. I know it’s scary but we’re here for you. You do’nt want to be call’d a boy but a they/them? You’re our precious cinnamon-roll with whatever gender, never forget that”

[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

Needed you pt1

-warnings// fluff, a lotta angst and implied smut

-a lil summary// Dean acts like an ass, Castiel saves the day yayyy

Castiel x reader

word count//1626

(gif from Pinterest)

"You're such an asshole Dean! I have every right to go on this hunt the same way you and sam do!" You demanded frustrated by the way Dean was banning you from the hunt, so what if you matched the witches victims, you've been a hunter just as long as they were having being brought into it by your parents

"The answers no Y/N we're not risking it!" Dean yelled packing his weapons in his duffel bag as Sam stood silent watching the fight take place not knowing what to do, you rolled your eyes crossing your arms over chest

"it's my life Dean and I can take as many damn risks as I want, especially when it comes to hunting" you yelled back at him your face growing redder by the second

Dean turned to face you his face full of anger "it's not your life I'm worried about, if Sam and I are worried about saving your ass every damn hunt we're gonna wind up dead and I ain't letting that happen so either shut up and research or find someone else to hunt with!" Dean yelled before grabbing his bag

You felt your eyes burn with tears taking in what he just said, Sam grew angry at the comment and he stepped forward to his brother "what the hell is wrong with you Dean" he was angry you were there friend for years knowing them since you were kids, you were family to them, well to Sam at least

"what Sam it's true, she doesn't pull her weight! how many hunts have you gotten bit or stabbed or shot at because Y/N needed help? At least Cas helps out!" Dean said storming out the motel door towards the impala

Sam sighed and turned to face you, taking note of the tears streaming down your face, he pulled you into his arms his large hand cradled the back of your head as your cried into his chest "just ignore him Y/N he's just being a jerk, you do everything for us I mean you've saved our lives more times than I can count, just sit this one out till I figure out what's making him lash out" Sam said and you knew he was right, being anywhere near dean would kill you right now

You nodded against Sam's chest sniffling as you pulled away "I'll be okay you head on out" Sam gave you a sad look and placed his hands on your shoulders "please don't leave just stay here, order takeout and we'll be back in 2 days tops" Sam said, he know you like the back of his hand considering you guys were best friends for over 15 years and he knew you would be thinking of packing up and heading off by yourself

"Okay I promise sweetie I'll wait right here, now you go be safe and come back in one piece" you said giving him a quick hug "I will don't worry about me, hey look if you get bored maybe call Cas he wouldn't mind keeping you company" Sam joked nudging your arm knowing of your feelings for the handsome angel

"Yeah yeah just you head on out" you joked pushing Sam to the door shutting it and quickly doing the locks, once you were alone you let your back hit the door as you slid down holding your head to your knees as your cried, you felt so worthless like you were nothing but a burden to the boys, even Castiel, you appreciated Sam's comfort but it didn't ease the pain.

Looking up from your huddled position when you heard a flutter of wings and low and behold the celestial was stood staring at you confused "you're crying? Who's done this" Castiel asked as he nearly down to your level placing his hand on your knee "I'm okay Cas really don't worry about it" you spoke quickly freaking embarrassed having been caught crying

Castiel gave a look as he squinted his eyes, taking in your features "if it's made this upset of course I'll worry about" Castiel said taking your hands in his pulling you up to a standing position, he placed his hands on your face as he gently wiped your tears away "please tell what happened honeybee?" He begged making you break into tears once more

You and the angel sat on the bed, his arm around your waist holding you to him as you told him about your fight with dean. Castiel was tense as you spoke feeling completely enraged towards the older Winchester "he shouldn't say things like that to you" Castiel was said as he twirled a strand of your hair, helping to calm your breathing

You eventually fell asleep on Castiel's shoulder as you both lay on the bed sitting against the headboard, Castiel stared at your sleeping face noting the red tones on your raw cheeks, he pulled out his phone and hit deans contact, normally he would go to where the boys were, but you looked so peaceful he didn't want to disrupt that

"Hey Cas what's up?" Deans gruff voice came from the phone "well I'm not happy considering I found Y/N crying alone " Cas replied annoyed

Dean sighed before answering "just stay out of it Cas it's not a big deal" Castiel only grew angrier at this "yes dean it is, how could you say that to her" cas whisper yelled down the phone "it's between Y/N and i so just mind your own damn business!" Dean yelled before hanging up the phone, Castiel let out a frustrated sigh and placed his phone on the night stand.

A few hours later you woke up to the feeling of fingers moving slowly through your hair, you looked up from your place on Castiel's chest "hey you stayed?" You questioned knowing the angel didn't need sleep "of course, you were upset I wouldn't leave you alone when you're upset" cas said as if stating the obvious

"That's really sweet of you cas I really needed a friend tonight" you leaned in giving the angel a hug which he was hesitant to reciprocate, still getting used to human antics

"I'll always be there when you need me" he said pulling back from the hug gently his blue orbs staring into your eyes "th-that means a lot Cas thank you" you stuttered out feeling awkward his intense stare at you.

Castiel placed his hands either side of your face, he battled an internal thought, before you could ask him what was wrong, he was leaning forward capturing your lips in his own, you were shocked at first Castiel had never shown interest in you other than friendship

Once the shock had worn off you kissed back immediately wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you, after a few minutes Cas pulled away from the kiss "I uh w-what was that for?" You questioned still enchanted by the way his lips felt on yours

"Sam and I talked, he told me what it meant when I felt a fluttering sensation in my abdomen when I was with you and how I should talk to you about it" Cas said his striking blue eyes staring into your own as he spoke

"Are you saying you like me?" You asked and Cas leaned forward giving you another small kiss before pulling back once more "I find myself falling for you more everyday" Cas said and you smiled feeling your heart beating a thousand miles an hour "I really like you too Cas"

You leaned forward pushing cas down to the bed as you captured his lips in a searing kiss and straddled his hips, he ran his hands from your waist down to your thighs as he gripped them tightly "I've wanted to kiss you since I first saw you" you said panting as you pulled back slightly only to move your kisses down his neck

He groaned when you nipped at the spot under his jaw "your the only human I have ever felt feelings for Y/N" cas said as his hand grasped your ass holding you close to him as you grinder your hips down softly against his growing your shirt off your body leaving you in your black lace bra as you kissed your way back to his lips.

Breathless you lay against Castiel's bare chest, your hair sticking to your forehead with sweat "that was pretty amazing" you murmured against his skin, Castiel ran his hand up and down your waist “yes I quite liked it, I would like to do it again” Castiel replied

“Oh really?” You asked, Castiel nodded “yes, but only with you” Castiel said, you smiled looking up at him as you moved to leave a kiss on his kiss swollen lips “I’d really like to do that again with you too Cas” you said as you cuddled back into his side.

It was later and the room was in complete darkness, you slept soundly against the angel who remained awake, staying determined to protect you if any evil came lurking through the night, a buzzing coming from the phone that lay in your bag, it was seemingly unnoticed by the angel as he was too focused on the feel of your bare skin against his

It was a message from Dean…

‘Hey sweetheart, listen I’m really sorry for how much of an ass I was to you before leaving, I didn’t mean any of it, I know that’s no excuse, I think we should have a talk when Sammy and I come back, just us, I want to talk to you about some things.’

___________________________________________

ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES , I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST

THIS IS FROM MY OLD PAGE @aesthetic-babyyy

[sugarushwriting]

being besties with lee minho (lee know) and park sunghoon.

nsfw under the cut

reblog, like and share!

do not repost or translate please.

quick not proof read drabble because these two men give me the same vibes:

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

lee know was your hometown best friend. you grew up together, had your firsts together, and when you both went separate routes for college, you both never forgotten one another.

in college you met park sunghoon. popular, quiet guy on campus. friends with jake sim who you had a few classes with and became close friends with.

soon you became close friends with sunghoon too.

close enough friends that you’ve seen each other naked.

sunghoon loved to put his vampire fangs to use. more times than none, you’ve had to buy extra concealer to hide the hickies he would leave on your skin. your neck, chest, thighs, anywhere he could get his mouth on.

he also loved to bite your pussy and clit while he ate you out.

always giving a satisfied hum when you squealed in surprise because you never knew when it would happen.

sunghoon also constantly left you worn out with his stamina. you could go for 2 or 3 rounds, as he could double that, go for hours, all while edging you and himself.

“sunghoon i’m visiting family tomorrow.” you moaned out as he sucked your skin.

“hiding me from anyone?” he teased.

you knew lee know would be upset to see you marked up from another guy. “no, but i don’t want my mom—hey!”

he distracted you by giving no warning when his thick cock entered you.

“then i need to let your family know how good i take care of their daughter.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you’ve been home for 10 minutes, and lee know is aware something isn’t right. you were wearing caked up concealer on your neck, and although it was feeling a bit warm out, you had on jean pants and a t-shirt.

he knew you lived in short skirts and cropped tops.

unless you were hiding something or having a comfy day at home.

like hickies or being on your period.

he knew it wasn’t your period because you weren’t doubling over in pain from cramping.

it had to be hickies because he loved to leave them on you and have you fuss at him later about it.

later that night, freshly showered you squealed seeing lee know sat comfortably on your bed.

your towel hid your body, the marks on them, but not the marks on your neck.

“wait, lee know—,”

you couldn’t even finish the sentence as he stalked towards you like he was hunting his prey and threw you on your bed, quickly unwrapping the towel, and slid down his pants and boxers.

his eyes never leaving yours. and his eyes screamed danger. something your pussy fluttered at.

he spat once on your pussy, and in no time, no warning, his length entered you his hand to your mouth to quiet you.

fuck he was angry.

you two weren’t exclusive, and neither were you or sunghoon. but both men were possessive.

possessive over you.

he looked disgusted at the marks left by another guy. “tsk kitten, looks like i need to remind you who you belong to.”

lee know gave no mercy with his thrusts, his poundings, your pussy getting wet every second, with every thrust. your wetness was dripping onto the towel beneath you and sure getting on lee know’s thighs.

“so wet for me.” lee know’s finger went to circle your clit and your orgasm came in no time.

with a loud moan suppressed by lee know’s tongue down your throat, you almost started crying because of how good he felt.

he didn’t come yet. you knew this was no where near over. you knew you would come intensely more than 3 times minimum, with some squirting here and there.

“kitten when im done with you, you’ll regret coming home to me being marked up by some other guy. you’ll be reminded who’s cock you go dumb for.”

shit, it was gonna be a long night. lee know had stamina as well, even just a tad more than sunghoon. and lee know was alot more willing to punish you and deprive you of orgasms.

“i’m sorry,” you sighed softly

“you’re not sorry yet. but you will be, kitten.”

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[johnconstantinesdick]

A series of AAI2 headcanons

(biased towards Sebastian and using the unofficial translation names bc I am not emotionally adjusted to the new ones)

Kay bounces around between jobs for a while—she works under Lang at interpol for some time, and then spends a few years as a detective, and eventually settles into working as a PI. It gives her the free time to pursue her own investigations, and she can work with either the Prosecution or the Defense as she pleases. She does the full Yatagarasu intro every time she’s called in to testify. She adds special effects each time. No one knows how.

Kay also gets fuckoff tall. Just like. Fully over 6ft, and extremely buff to boot. Her vibes are very Gender and I can see her going on testosterone at some point, so maybe she has some scruff. Really emulating Badd.

Sebastian also gets tall. No concrete height but he must get taller than Edgeworth and Edgeworth must have a crisis about it. Full beanpole though, no muscle.

BIG fan of long hair Sebastian. Tied in an elegant little ponytail. He flicks it when he’s smug about making a point. It makes people want to punch him.

Relatedly, everyone on Team Edgeworth is a smug asshole. This is just canon. Edgeworth? Bitch energy off the charts. Franziska? She can and will mock you to your face. Small children hate her. Lang? Fantastic dude but you could NOT get through a conversation without wanting to deck him. Kay? Absolutely insufferable and she’s going to make it everyone’s problem. Sebastian? You may want to make him kind and soft because his dad sucks and he DOES care about doing the right thing and he cries a lot. However once he gets his confidence back he’s going to go back to being an arrogant bitch, except he’ll be right more often. Which is Worse. Ray is the closest to being straight up Nice. But at what cost.

Cape Sebastian. I rest my case.

Sebastian wears blue as his accent color for a long time, and actively avoids wearing red. It’s not until Edgeworth gives him a red cape that matches his suit that Sebastian puts red on again and feels like he earned it. It’s an emotional moment. Sebastian sobs through their entire shared lunch break.

Lang, Franziska, and Kay worked together really well in interpol, and went on some highly classified missions. They may or may not have smuggled political refugees out of Khura’in. Whenever anyone asks if they’ve been there, they give the exact same smile and copy-pasted response about it being a beautiful country and no of course they’ve never been! The Wright Anything lie detectors all blare alarms. Edgeworth doesn’t let them near Prosecutor Sahdmadhi when he’s in the country.

I actually think Franziska slowly leans more and more into her investigative duties for Interpol. Will she one day realize she’s more of a detective than a prosecutor? Who knows, but she fucking loves chasing down criminals. She and Lang are best friends. They will one day make friendship bracelets and cherish them for the rest of time.

Kay and Sebastian get platonic married. Kay arranged it for a case. Sebastian thought they were making a blood pact. They never get it annulled. (aro Kay and demi Sebastian ftw)

They are also SO gender and goofy with it. Kay is Sebastian’s husband. Sebastian is Kay’s wife. If Sebastian ever dates anyone (Blackquill/Sebastian my beloved rarepair), Kay is going to call them her wife’s mistress for the rest of time.

Sebastian and Edgeworth never have a formal conversation about it, but they consider each other family. They refer to each other as father/son only when the other isn’t present. Sebastian is in his will.

Sebastian and Courtney DO have a formal conversation about the same topic. There’s a lot of crying. John exclusively refers to Sebastian as his “weird brother”

Edgeworth and Courtney have a custody agreement. They meet weekly for lunches. They deny they’re friends but they ARE coparenting. Divorce rumors abound.

Conflicts of interest don’t exist in the ace attorney universe but if they did these two would have to declare one. Edgeworth would be like. Sorry I can’t work with one of three entire judges in our district. We’re coparenting a teenager together. And Justine would be like yeah. Also I think he’s a bitch :\

Sebastian goes into child welfare. He specializes in criminal cases with children as the victims or defendants, and often gets called in on cases where kids have to testify. In civil cases he acts as a Guardian Ad Litem (I like to think he was Trucy’s during the adoption proceedings!)

I see the Klavier and Sebastian highschool friends angle and I respect it but I actually think Klavier should have vastly complicated feelings about Sebastian, while Sebastian barely even thinks about him.

To expand: Sebastian is head of the class (Klavier is sporting about it but also jealous. They don’t really interact. Klavier has friends and Sebastian is an asshole.) >> Blaise Debeste’s bribery and other crimes come to light (Klavier feels a little bad for him. He doesn’t say it out loud but there is some very real level of “he should have noticed. What an idiot. I would have known.”) >> Sebastian prosecutes his father because conflicts of interest don’t exist in Ace Attorney. He cries the entire very public trial, and sometimes the court needs to go into recess because the defendant won’t stop hurling abuse at the prosecutor, but he otherwise presents a very solid case. (Klavier watches in stupefied horror. “I could never do that to someone I love,” he thinks, “no matter what they did.” He’s wrong.) >> Sebastian slowly picks himself up and builds his legal career with Edgeworth and Justine’s help. (Klavier still feels a bit of condescending pity, but mainly it’s a “good for him” kind of thing, with a small but lingering amount of distrust.) >> State v. Enigmar (Klavier takes a leave of absence. He shoves down his misgivings about the case. The Dark Age of the Law starts. Sebastian stays behind, and does his best with every case. He doesn’t run. Klavier is desperately bitter.) >> Seven Year Gap (Klavier becomes an international rock star. Sebastian is thrown to the wolves every day he practices law under the Debeste name. They’re both stained, but the difference is that Klavier is from his actions and Sebastian is from others. There’s at least one hit single based around this. Sebastian does not listen to rock music.) >> State v. Wright (2026) (Klavier’s brother can’t be guilty. Klavier knows him. Klavier loves him. Doesn’t he? Did he miss something or was he kidding himself? Klavier begins obsessing over Apollo Justice. He and Sebastian work in the same office again. Sebastian feels no particular way about this. Klavier hovers outside his door when no one else is around and thinks about guilt. Did you know? Did you suspect? Did you care?) >> State V. Tobaye. (Another betrayal. Will all of his loved ones abandon him? Did they think he was that stupid or did they think he loved them enough to look past their crimes? Which is worse? Klavier does not knock on Sebastian’s door.) >> State V. Misham. Sebastian takes Klavier aside and tells him not to hold himself responsible. Says that he can’t be blamed for not noticing, and that he just has to try and build himself up again. Sebastian tells him his door is always open. Klavier says thank you but I’m okay. (Klavier thinks “Maybe you couldn’t have known. But I could have. I should have. I was not supposed to be the fool.”) >> Klavier goes to Edgeworth-mandated therapy. He comes to terms with Kristoph’s betrayal. He realizes he has been obsessing over someone he barely knows from high school for over a decade. He wonders if this is a crush. If he had a friend to tell this to, they would say that this is actually just an externalized form of self-loathing. He does not have any friends. His therapist tells him this instead. >> Klavier knocks on Sebastian’s door. They proceed to have a series of very normal conversations. They become friends. Klavier is too mortified to ever tell Sebastian about any of the above.

The Klavier and Sebastian analysis could have been it’s own post but I got in too deep. I think Klavier should get to be an unfair bitch sometimes, even if he never says it out loud.

Alas, this post is now too long for me to expand on my Blackquill/Sebastian thoughts. Of which I have many. There’s 7k of fic written in my notes app. Blackquill thinks Sebastian is pushy and confident and the hottest person he’s ever seen. Sebastian thinks Blackquill is extremely pretty and kind to small animals and children. No one comprehends their views of each other.

[aeridigital]

Frio - BangChan

pairing ex!chan x fem!reader

genere angst w happy(? ending

warnings brakeup, unconfirmed infidelity

w.count 0.3k

synopsis after what was a warm love, you feel like Chan freezes your heart and everything around you, only to then find that summer season you longed for so much to arrive.

note okay so... this is my first time writing a drabble so Idk how well or badly I did, but it's worth mentioning that I was inspired by the song 'Frio' by Nicki Nicole to write this. I hope you like it.

It's been 3 months and I still don't understand how you could forget all the promises you made to me. I still can't believe that all the sweet words you said to me were nothing but empty words.

"I would give my life for you."

Why would you tell me that if at the end of the day it was someone else you preferred?

"But what about all the promises you made to me, Christopher? What about all the I love you's you said to me on those winter nights we spent together?"

"I'm sorry... I wish I could have kept all those promises, but I simply can't anymore. I can't continue pretending all my feelings towards you."

I can't help but repeat your words in my head over and over again, being alone with myself in what used to be our room, but now it's just a cold room, like any other.

It's been 5 months since you left, summer never returned, you took the summer with you and left me in eternal winter. My days are all the same, my friends keep telling me it's time for me to forget about you, and partly they're right because it's not fair for me to still be here suffering for what we once were while you're already in another woman's arms, giving her your warmth and making her forget about the cold outside.

"Oh my god, how can it be that even under the blankets I'm still cold?!"

"That's because you're not here cuddled up with me."

I still remember those beautiful moments, and I wonder if you'll say the same to her, will you give her that same smile you gave me when you said those words? I hate the fact that you're no longer near me but still hurting me, I wish I could erase all those memories or at least not cry every time they come to my mind. I hope that day comes soon.

It's been 7 months and today for the first time the memories I had of you were not of your sweet words or your false promises, but I remembered all the times you came home late, the times you said you were with your friends or that you were at work.

"It's 5 in the morning, Christopher, why are you coming home at this hour?"

"Oh please, you know work always keeps me busy."

"Well, at least a message letting me know that you weren't going to make it to the dinner we planned two weeks ago with our families would have been nice."

I still remember that you didn't even say "I'm sorry" that day, you couldn't even apologize to your parents, but now I know that work was just an excuse to no longer be by my side, you just wanted an excuse to spend your time with her and away from me. But now I can say that I would prefer to live in this winter a thousand times over than in the hell I lived with you.

I don't count the months anymore, my life is no longer a routine and I finally managed to leave those four walls that made me feel so suffocated. I went out after a long time and I met your mom, and even though for a moment I thought I was going to hate her and not want to talk to her again, I understood that it's not her fault that you were so bad to me.

Now I can move on with my life and leave you in the past, now I can look at myself in the mirror and smile at seeing myself in it, now I can be alone with myself and think only of me and the summer that awaits me.

[sunflower1experiment]

“He won’t try any bullshit with me”

Tw// Harm, Assault, trauma, workplace abuse

“….Curly are you stupid?” Curly blinks at the words that left [Name]’s lips, “Excuse me?”

“Exactly, see how dumb I sound asking and acting casual with my own Captain. If Jimmy is willing to make crude sex jokes towards Anya but not with you what does that tell me?” He looks away, they were right but what does that have to do with Anya.

[Name] snaps their finger at him, “He sees you as someone to emotionally respect meanwhile us who’re vulnerable, the minority are stuck with that dumb ah behavior! We are not his friends we are coworkers and so are you.” With that they left, walking past Anya who was listening intently.

“Don’t let their words hurt you too much, they just can’t stand it when…well people excuse others. Their heart is probably racing and they feel guilt…you okay?” Anya pats Curly’s arm, knowing that Curly was sensitive about the crew’s happiness and health.

“They will come around but, at this moment their trust with you is tense.”

Anya was right, they truly despised Jimmy since that crude joke. Anya occasionally shut them down with her firm glance but [Name] never let Jimmy near Anya. Heck anytime he called they’d appear to help, it made Curly worry. So the night they went to bed, he called them to his side at the common area.

“[Name], I get it, you want Anya to be safe-“

“Anya can take care of herself, I want all of us to be safe. I don’t want to lose my mental sleep because some golden boy and his little boy toy want to cover for one another.” [Name] leans back in their gown, staring up at the screen.

“…….You and him are typical, typical creepy guy. Oh so insecure always needing his successful pal to save him, meanwhile he screws the guy over….I wonder how many times did he fail on earth before coming here? Eh? Captain?” Curly stares, silent, they got him. He knows it, he has to take responsibility somehow.

“….Sorry, I-I didn’t know you hated Jimmy-“

[Name] groans, their eyes roll and they were exasperated. “I don’t hate him, I’m just not going to take another day of some bastard who sees me and Anya as nothing more than that damned Polle statue, make no mistake Curly. He won’t try any bull with you until he has the upper hand then once that high power stroke is over he’ll crawl back to you.”

They walk out, heading to their sleeping quarters.

Why, why was their paranoia right? What was the reason?

They stared at Curly then at Jimmy’s broken leg, “…..I told you Curly.”

Curly’s cold blue eyes match their energy while Jimmy laid on the floor, scared, crying over his leg. “Shut up! You want to cry? Think about how much pain she was in…”

Their heart beat was practically hitting their eardrums, “Every day you wander this place thinking you’re in charge? What because you’re a co pilot…”

[Name] steps on the gunshot wound, staring Jimmy dead in the eyes. “…..You’re lucky Curly needs a co pilot..”

It went quiet, until Curly restrained the crewmate and he had them sent to their sleeping quarters. Where they remain for the time being, it was quiet.

Anya was pregnant, that made them snap. They’ve heard horror stories, lost friends, family even. To people who hurt them and then killed them for situations involving kids, as if it were their fault….Jimmy knew that it was his fault but only wanted her to carry the blame…

So they scuffled over the gun, Jimmy lost his balance and they pulled the trigger on his leg. Anya stared in horror, she felt horrible, because of what happened.

[Name] didn’t realize how this would have affected her, all they wanted was revenge for Anya….it’s not about them…in a way they acted like Jimmy….what would Anya have wanted?

Anya hugs [Name], “I’m sorry Anya…”

“No, its not your fault, its his and Pony Express…why are you crying?”

[Name] sniffles, “He would’ve killed you, and I never considered your feelings…I was just so angry at Curly and him…” they hug for a long time.

When they were left alone Curly came in to speak, “….Jimmy is fine, can still fly but he’ll have to be carried slightly or use crutches…” It goes quiet, “….if he had the chance you’d be next to deal with his abuse…”

The thought of his old pal hurting him…it scared him but he kept defending and even told Anya he knew him…what kind of person says that to someone who’s traumatized. Curly truly didn’t have anything else to say. While [Name] remains stoic, “…..Heh Pony Express will dock our pay…tragic huh? Our pay will get docked because these damned fools practically set us up for an abusive…work space..”

[Name] slides to the floor, “Then again, being laid off especially after all this. I’d rather just spend time in jail and watch Jimmy follow suite with Pony Express..”

“[Name] you don’t mean that-“

They cut hum off with a cold glare, it was the fact that they did mean it. They wanted to face the consequences, take responsibility for the harm they caused. [Name] remains in their room, occasionally going out to help Jimmy or co pilot with Curly. The occasional simple conversation between the two, overlaps the fear [Name] had “…..It’s tragic ain’t it. Going to jail, especially with how I am…or maybe Pony Express will force us to do an NDA….”

Curly looks at them, while they glance at him. “Captain…did you plan to help Jimmy?”

“No! I just- I wanted to fix everything but-“

[Name] sighs, “You’re only human, I can only blame you for your naivety and incapability towards handling it like a captain under stress…but then again, if Jimmy weren’t your friend would you have. Say I don’t know….” Curly felt hurt at those words, did they truly not deem him worthy?

“It’s not that I find you incapable of being captain. It’s just, how you let him verbally abuse…you…what was he like outside of Pony Express?” It was quiet, and the two went back to being quiet. “….I’m sorry. You aren’t perfect or bad, but you’re not good either…this is Jimmy’s and Pony Express’s fault..”

Curly holds his co worker’s hand and they share a semblance together, some hours later that they walked out and note Jimmy’s incapacitated state. “What? You both here to mock me?”

Curly sighs, “….I assumed you were misunderstood and going through a lot…” Jimmy remains quiet. “[Name] will face their time in solitary confinement but you. You have to take responsibility…”

He helps Jimmy to his bedroom from the medbay, “Whether you like it or not.”

Pony Express shut down. But ended up getting sued for abusive behavior and conduct for the work space of its employees. Jimmy was arrested and sentenced, while [Name] they were deemed unfit to be working with others for the time being. So they were sentenced to probation, Curly used that opportunity to have them stay at his home until things got better.

Anya, while the unborn baby was miscarried, due to stress and the lack of food nutrients for her. She chose to try and get back into the medical field, [Name] helped using their money from Pony Express including money they saved over the years. Daisuke after he found out used this opportunity to help Anya and asked his mother for help as well, Swansea while he was gruff and strict.

It was obvious he cared for their safety and while he did go on low contact with them after the trip for his retirement vacation, he made sure to support the two. Once he returned though, it was sort of emotional, Daisuke had became a mechanic and enjoyed his passion as an artist. Curly oddly enough was working with [Name] on his next job coverage, “You like skiing, why not just work at some snow resort…or you could try, not sure get a job as a manager at some deliverance company…”

“Yea right.” Curly chuckles, “The snow resort works…”

He types in a resume. Making sure to include his portfolio, “You plan on getting a job?”

“They plan to put “Shot coworker” as my background check so, not sure…I did plan on working at a library or a garden center…”

He clears his throat when Anya walks in and kisses [Name] on the cheek, “You’ll figure it out. We know the truth, if you ever need help just recommend us.”

Hearing that reassurance was enough to convince them to work on it, meanwhile this ankle monitor was not flattering. “….Jeez…how many more months?”

“About four? You did say it was self defense but ya know how the system is, also Daisuke and Swansea are coming over.” [Name] groans while leaning on Anya’s chest.

“Man…our throuple coupling is going to confuse them.”

“Well not really, you and Anya are together and I’m the boyfriend kind of guy who’s friends with Anya and dating you- why are you staring?” Their side eyeing makes Anya chuckle, indeed they were living together. But jeez is Curly’s jokes terrible.

Didn’t stop the soon to be doctor from laughing, meanwhile Daisuke busts in with Swansea behind him. “Hello everyone! Your favorite mechanic is here!”

“Yea yea, shut it and get inside. I don’t know how Curly can handle such cold areas!” Swansea walks in with some cans of Arizana tea, “Got us some tea.” When he set them down, [Name] and Daisuke grabbed a can then drank them immediately.

“Alright so how’s med school?”

Anya beams at Daisuke’s question, “So I’ve been studying the human anatomy and also got in trouble for questioning my instructor, which it made sense. They were talking about how some people have higher pain tolerance which just simply isn’t possible for one group. It’s a rare occurrence and medical condition that will kill someone.”

[Name] leans on their companion, “Ah my beautiful doctor is so smart….” They chuckle when Anya pushes their face to the side. “And to make things better, I have straight As in my class. Just gotta watch [Name] they won’t stop eating sweet cereal.”

“Those peanut butter Crunxhes are good.” Giving them a playful eye roll, the three converse while Curly and Swansea exchange some words. “So, any updates?”

Curly shakes his head, “He just….sorta pleaded guilty. His final words to me was that he would’ve taken care of it…I…he was delusional, I was too blind to see…” Swansea places a hand on his shoulder.

“Curly the best ya could do was listen and acknowledge. It’s a good thing you had [Name], otherwise who knows what would’ve happened.”

Curly thinks back to his last conversation with Jimmy.

“Guess you got what you wanted huh? Leaving me behind, climbing up that ladder of yours?” It was quiet between the two so called friends.

“Curly…I’m sorry, I never meant-“

“Sorry for what….”

“For what I did, I’m taking responsibility.” Curly stares at him with a cold glare, “Taking responsibility for what?”

It goes quiet again. Then Jimmy starts to question him, “Can’t a guy apologize without you questioning his apology? I said sorry-“

“Thats the thing Jimmy. You’re not really sorry, because if you were you would’ve said why. It was easy to admit to it in court because to you it relieves you of having to actually apologize to Anya…doesn’t it? Heh, I just know if [Name] weren’t around we’d all be dead because of you…tragic how all it takes was for another person, and the loss of Anya’s autonomy, to make me understand how terrible you are…I’m a terrible Captain. But that doesn’t matter to you, as long as you get some form of authority over someone right?”

Curly stands, “You’re a mess, and I’m not cleaning you up…”

With that he left, leaving Jimmy alone to his own accord.

—

[Name] nudges Curly, their hand rests on him. “You okay?”

He lets [Name] lay on his shoulder while he sighs tiredly, “I’m tired…and a fool..”

“You’re just…imperfect Curly, I’d feel safe with you in terms of happiness and joy but it’d take time to rekindle the safety of support. But I thank you for helping Anya and I out…” Curly presses his head on theirs, they stay still before hugging comfortably.

“I’ll go to the guest room, Anya probably needs her companion during smash bros against Daisuke and Swansea.” [Name] waves while Curly shakes his head, “Agreed, I’ll just be alone…..and watching Kdramas.”

“…….Me and the crew will be out in two.”

That night they watched Kdramas with Daisuke and Swansea.

[moonlight-tmd]

Kind of curious how the ShockBee section of the post talking about how Bee having a sparkling with the different pairings would go in a different situation.

Like Longarm manages to remain undercover when the war ends, Bee likely knowing eventually. This kind of inspired by your post involving Shockwave taking Bumblebee off on a vacation after the war ends and they have a private conjunx ceremony before coming back.

Would his reaction be different in a version were the war is over and he's technically safe since no one found out? If he did accept the sparkling in this version how would things go? I bring up the private ceremony because I feel in the version were he accepts the baby he probably convinces Team Optimus that it'd be safer to have Bumblebee stay with him until the bitlet arrives. Probably so they can have alone time/be closer but also because Longarm is worried about Bumblebee's health while being far away. Longarm worries when Radio has his antlers, Bumblebee manages to make the excuse that Longarm has a distant relative with antler like antenna since there's a likelihood Bumblebee can't use his own family as an excuse.

Yeah that sounds much better than the ending I wrote. ShockBee is a rarepair that has the least amount of content on my blog purely cuz it's hard to imagine stuff happening with them.

If we take this post and this post then mash 'em together- then yea, they could get their happy ever after.

Longarm stayed on Earth for a long while, just enjoying his time with Bee, possibly helping out if needed. Of course, at some point he had to return to his Prime duties and left... but not before making sure Bee won't miss him via a long and passionate night together after their stargazing picnic.

Of course, a month or so passes and Bee is down in the ditch cuz he misses him so much... The others get it but at the same time, they are a bit concerned cuz it's a bit strange for it to be only yearning for the beloved.

One time he gets into a crash and has to stay in medbay cuz his diagnostics were unusually unstable. It is then that Ratchet runs scans and detects another spark signature next to Bee's.

Bee is sitting there shocked as Ratchet tells him he's 4 weeks into carrying. He doesn't respond, not even a word. He worries the kid crashed at the news before Bee just starts crying.

He's so so SO happy but also WHAT. They didn't plan this! But, oh primus, this is amazing, they're gonna have a bitty! He literally begs to see the scan and the little newspark and he's over the moon once he sees the tiny white dot floating near his big white dot.

He doesn't know how to tell Longarm, he loves his so much and knows the mech loves him back just as much but he can't help but feel anxious. Bee is signed off duty and made to rest in his berth.

He and Longarm called every other day; Cybertron's day was about 2 Earth ones. When Longarm called on video, Bee was laying in his berth with a warmer on his chassis. He asked if Bee was okay to which Bee replied that he had a surprise for him. He send him a copy of the close up scan image on the chat and told him to look closely.

"There's 2 spark signatures..." Long stated, unsure what Bee wanted to show until it hit him. "Wait, are you-"

"It's one and a half months old and growing big and healthy!" Bee was so happy, rubbing a servo over his chest. Longarm stared at him, optics wide, for a solid minute before he simply hung up.

Bee was distraught, did he do it wrong? Is this not what Shockwave wanted? He tried to message him but he didn't answer. He sat there, about to cry when 15 minutes later Longarm called him again and from the camera angle it was clear he was in a rush. He had an argument with Sentinel about the sudden vacation and was now babbling that he had to get there and see his bitty. He practically yelled at Bee to stay in berth and that he'll be there as fast as he can. It made Bee laugh when he nearly tripped and dropped half of his stuff cuz of the excitement.

Longarm got there the next day and nearly crashed thru the gate to get inside. He was asking questions and where was Bee faster than any of them could answer and rushed to Bee's room before they did. Bee was enjoying a snack while listening to music and got a bit startled when Long opened the door a bit too quickly.

He locked optics with Bee and went to sit on the berth with him. His optics drifted to his chassis, unsure what he should do. But then Bee took his servo and placed it there with his own on top and a warm smile. Longarm smile back and wrapped his arms around him twice over in a big but gentle hug.

Of course he wanted to take Bee back to his lounge on Cybertron's colony (also described in this post). As much as Bee wanted to stay on earth he understood the concerns- it still had dangers and it was difficult to access cuz of the distance between the planets. They set on having Bee under Long's watch in his house. It was odd for Bee to stay at Shock's place- despite spending a month there, he's gotten used to his little room on earth and it was difficult to readjust to cybertron's atmosphere and items- let alone time zone! But he supposed it was good that he was resting a lot, gotta have that afternoon nap or else he'd be grouchy! Oh well, at least Shocky was spoiling him to bits.

They had a nurse come and check Bee's status every week, Longarm made sure to follow the advises to the word. One of his favorite things to do was to lay with his conjunx and listen to both his and their bitty's sparks beating. Bee called his friends every few days to check in, it sucked that he couldn't play multiplayer games with them but at least he got to play his own games on his mobile console.

As the due date crept closer, Longarm called Ratchet to let him know about the situation. As much as Bee liked the nurse he'd feel more comfortable with someone he trusts when he gives emergence. Of course, Ratchet couldn't deny and soon was also sent over to Cybertron. Longarm made sure to give them a replacement medic along with Cliffjumper who's been picked to fill Bee's spot temporarily.

Ratchet had a guest room assigned and checked on Bee daily. He helped to pick a protoform size based on the newspark's growth. When Bee started having chest pains during his gaming session it was time. Thanks to Longarm, Ratchet had all the equipment and medication he needed, Bee turned out to have some minor complications but nothing dangerous.

There was a little bitty, laying in the cot- rusty yellow with teal accents, it had layered limbs like Longarm and by face it was just like Bee. Beautiful blue optics, it even had the jaw piece like its sire and... antenna? Well, bitties have random features sometimes or may take after an older relative- Longarm mentioned once that his sire had these, didn't he? He did, right. Ratchet didn't question anything, only took the answer provided and continued to assist.

The bitty turned out to be quite a talker- or well, noisemaker. It couldn't talk yet but giggled or cried all the time. Both parents were quite concerned when their baby made static noise when recharging but Ratchet assured them everything was fine and that the static was just like snoring. They ended up naming their bitty Radio after Bee made a joke about the bitty being so noisy, more than him even. They were so glad Ratchet decided to stick around for a while cuz they really needed help with it.

They stayed in Longarm's lounge for few weeks after emergence, the bitty has began to calm down with the noise too, so Bee decided that it would be fine to head back to earth. Of course Longarm was paranoid what travelling like this might do to the bitty but Ratchet assured him that it was fine.

Bee immediately went outside once they landed, gosh he missed earth so much, breathing in its air again was amazing. Ratchet commed the others to let them know they landed, they got the stuff from the cargo and camouflaged the ship before riding off back to base.

Sari was first to fly right at Bee when they came inside. Bulkhead was so happy to see his buddy again too. They all were greeting them back when the baby in Long's arms made some noise.

They were enamored with it, it was so darn cute! Well, to Sari it was a bit less cute when the baby decided to pull at her ponytail out of curiosity. Ouch.

Bee should have seen it that they would throw a party. Optimus baked so much food, even some that the baby could safely eat. Of course there were baby gifts too, the others got little Radio so many toys to play with.

Radio seemed to love being outside, Prowl was happy to babysit and teach it about animals and plants. Uncle Bulky and Auntie Sari were the first to start spoiling it, despite Longarm telling them to not overdo it, Bee was just amused.

Of course, when Radio started walking it got a bit difficult to catch it. They also discovered it could stretch like Longarm. The bitty tangling itself in its own limbs happened more often than they liked, they all lovingly called the bitty their little spaghetti whenever that happened. Or that it spaghettified itself when the bitty couldn't pull its limbs back after outstretching them.

And I will stop right there to avoid ranting for 5k something words in one tumblr post. I really liked writing this, thank you anon!

Also I should mention that Radio never chose distinct pronouns so they/them is in use. Thank you!

[aceditwrites]

this is another request but they requested to keep it anonymous so here we are! i hope whoever ends up reading this likes it

It had been years. You kept telling yourself you should just get over him but you couldn't quite bring yourself to. It should’ve all ended when he was crying in your arms because the girl he was in love with, not you, was dead. You were surely alive. You recalled the days you’d bond over your infatuation for dinosaurs, now you bond over the trauma you faced on the island and over the loss of a best friend. No one expected Brooklynn’s death. Darius had thought there was foul play, but dinosaurs were everywhere. Brooklynn was just another statistic. (Brooklynn was also Heather, but that’s not important)

Another thing no one expected was when Ben came knocking on your door telling you that the Nublar 7 were being hunted. Certainly, no one expected those Atrociraptors to come after you guys at every stop. 

Yet somehow the most unexpected thing you faced was Kenji living in a trailer and running a (failing) rock climbing business. At least he had glow in the dark stickers. It made you realize how much everyone had changed since you all met at camp when you were kids. How much more complicated your lives have become. You were adults now and yet you still felt like a scared, hopeless kid. 

“Are you okay?” Darius asked you while you were staring off into space.

“I could ask you the same thing. What was that?” You had been trying so hard to brush Darius off this entire “trip”. It hurt in a way you weren’t used to. 

“He… blames me. He thinks Brooklynn is my fault and because of… you know, maybe it is.” He tells you. You know exactly what he’s referring to and it makes the dull ache in your heart start to fester even further.

“Right.” You nod and walk off, leaving Darius behind to wonder what happened. He noticed you’d been pulling away from him ever since he admitted what he did. He almost regrets it, but the girl is dead. He feels that he can’t replace her that fast. He loved her. 

You loved him.

When the group split up, you did everything you could to let Ben and Sammy let you come with them to get Yaz. 

“Come on, guys! Just let me tag along!” You begged. Anything to get away from Darius, being near him this whole trip stings. It stings worse than when he got you to admit you didn’t want to work at the park, you just wanted to do what your family expected of you. It was their desire, not yours. Now, he’s what you desire and you can’t have him.

“Nope. No one is driving my baby but me.” Ben rubbed the steering wheel of his van.

“And I have to make things right with my girlfriend!” Sammy says. She’s full of determination. 

You remember when she first told you how happy and giddy Yaz made her feel. It wasn’t until you were off the island that you realized he felt about Darius as she felt about Yaz. 

“And besides,” Sammy continues, “Someone has to play mediator between those two!”

She gestures to Darius and Kenji who were doing their very best to not interact. Well, Kenji is avoiding Darius, who is reluctantly letting him. Would Darius want to travel with two people who both were trying to avoid him.

Never guess what.

You still had to go with Darius and Kenji.

Guess what again!

It was just as awkward as you imagined. The entire time you three were together you could feel the feeling of betrayal radiating off of Kenji, then Darius would look to you, the supposed mediator, for help. You would look away. You didn’t know how to help. You couldn’t even help yourself. 

This continued the entire trip. The only time your resolve broke down was after the… incident. 

You never liked Daniel Kon but no one deserved what he got.

You only interacted with Darius in favor of helping Kenji, he lost his father. The last he needed was the atmosphere being any worse. Darius seemed happy that you were interacting with him again but you were still hurt. Doing whatever you could to just get over him.

Finally, after searching Brooklynn’s apartment for clues and finding the drop off point. Things seemed somewhat okay. That is until Kenji and Darius began to fight over the phone.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself when Darius finally admitted to having feelings for Brooklynn to Kenji. It hurt even more to hear it a second time. It felt like confirmation that you had no chance. Your mistake was letting that thought show up on your face.

Of course Darius had noticed Kenji was pissed and you just looked distraught. What was he supposed to do now? His closest friends both have something against him. He hadn’t been imagining it. He didn’t have the chance to fix it until you were on the boat days later, reunited with the others.

“Y/n?” He called, he stood just out of ear range of the others, who were catching their breaths and slowing their hearts from the latest near death experience. Way to trigger the PTSD, Handler.

“Darius.” You greeted him as you reluctantly walked over to him. You’d been dreading this moment. You guessed you were right, you were a bit too obvious and now he knows that you like him.

“We uh,” he clears his throat, nervous. “We need to talk.”

You nod, “Yeah. We do.”

The two of you sit against some cargo, “You like me?” Darius asks.

You sigh, releasing the tension from your shoulders, “I do-” You change your mind, “I-I did. You like Brooklynn. I can accept that.”

Darius hesitates before continuing slowly, “You did? Like.. past tense?”

“Look Darius, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll stop letting it–”

“I like you too.” He cuts you off to reject- hold up. What did you just hear?

“What about, B?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“I learned a lot about Brooklynn on this… excursion. And I learned a lot about myself.” He smiles, “I never realized who was right in front of me. Literally. You’ve been there since day one- well so has B, but you’re still here. Maybe it’s the adrenaline talking, but I think I love you too. Kenji can have B, if I get you even when the adrenaline wears off.”

“You don’t have to say that.” You know Darius is a people pleaser. You’ve seen the extent he’ll go to.

He grabs your hands and smiles softly, “I mean it. I hope you’re not having second thoughts about that crush.”

You hesitate but ultimately smile back, “I’m not.”