#why am i like this lately
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*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this
#I know exactly why I’m like this but why am I like this#I know what’s wrong with me but wtf is wrong with me#adhd autistic#audhd creature#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#personality disorders#bpd stuff#late diagnosed autistic#cptsd recovery#did osdd#bpd#audhd#adhd problems#audhd problems#borderline personality disorder#complex trauma#mood disorders#anxiety disorders#psychotic disorders#neurological disability#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#trauma disorders#traumagenic
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so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
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My mood when I woke up vs my mood less than an hour into my shift
#nattering about nothing#WHY AM I LIKE THIS LATELY#I DIDN'T USED TO HATE MY JOB 😫#WHY DOES BEING HERE SUDDENLY PISS ME OFF
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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It's not even actually their birthday
(Based on a conversation I had with a friend + Jamil's 2024 birthday present to the player)
#my art#twisted wonderland#twst#jamil viper#jamil viper x yuu#twst yuu#oc#twst oc#shiokawa mayu#jamimayu#bro made a discovery and had to share#why is he like this#hes very into chemical warfare against those pesky bugs#throwback to the first jamimayu post I ever made#I believe Jamil texts with like perfect capitalization and punctuation#but you can tell he's excited by#subtle hints#things you'll notice if you know him#for example multiple texts in a row is very unusual of him#you may interpret the timestamps however you wish#you may also wonder why I hand draw this instead of just typing#it's cause I drew the first post and now feel I have to commit#it's too late#at least I enjoy the stylized look it gets...#ALSO IM STILL WORKING ON HIS BDAY ART#ITS STILL IN PROGRESS#sorry jamiru i am so very slow
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kaito screencap redraw! plus my favorite panel from the scarlet return arc lol
I've been reading detco for like 2 years and the unhealthy obsession fanart motivation finally caught up
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital art#dcmk#detective conan#detco#case closed#kaitou kid#magic kaito#kuroba kaito#first pirates and now thieves#why is it always the fictional wanted criminals that get to me#although i must say#it’s objectively not a great time to get into this fandom#cousin gate…#i watched from up on poppy hill right after i found out about it and i was so scared lol#like please. you can’t do this to me twice in a row#been sketching a lot and not finishing anything lately (art block??)#so ty kaito for pulling through#guys i cant believe he stars in 2 shows#am i crazy or does he kind of resemble oikawa#oh and that last panel always makes me laugh#stay silly
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Second-guessing
#been overthinking all day today and needed to draw how it feels lately#a bit of a vent ahead#it’s gotten really lonely and almost alienating in a way#and the fandom seems so vastly different#and in a way I dont really feel ok in#i do take the steps to avoid anything that i don’t want to see#but it just feels like what i do is pointless#like what i draw is pointless#i know the more platonic/familial themes in my art will always be overshadowed#but its been a harsh truth ive been hit with#and it’s kind of heartbreaking#i’m forever grateful for the reminders of how my art is like a breath of fresh air#but man is it difficult to not just quit entirely#because it always falls back to: why am I doing this? what’s the point?#i’m sorry I feel like such a whiny loser when I talk about things like this#it’s all jumbled and all over the place but to put it simply it’s been super lonely#i just needed to say something before it completely boiled over#im sorry again
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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girlfriendism
#i finally started c3!!!! im extremely late!!!#critical role#bells hells#imodna#laudna#imogen temult#wlw#fanart#my art#I FORGOT THE HAIRPIN!!!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS#i was minecraft witch laughing to myself like Hehe finally i kept every little detail in mind! NO
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Cryptic visions of space and time...
#essek#essek thelyss#critical role#mighty nein#caleb widogast#this works on its own but it's actually part of a bigger fancomic idea i have#but i still have to figure out if i even want to invest so much time into something like that lmao.. prob not#i already made a concept document for fun and its way too long.. unfortunately i rly like it#i rly believe in the idea tbh i just dont know if its physically possible because i work fulltime LMAO#its a lot of fun tho#here i am 3 years late idk why the essek thoughts bubble out NOW ignore me
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who is your oldest blorbo, by which i mean: which of your blorbos was created the longest time ago? mine's probably archie goodwin (1934)
#i know that's pretty recent relatively speaking but i am just curious!#also i've got a pretty specific criteria for what i consider a blorbo so that's probably why i don't have someone older than archie#(which is not to say that those criteria need to apply to anyone else's blorbo ofc)#tho idk i bet if i reread frankenstein then ol' victor would probably make the list#anyway i was just thinking about this because i've been reading a lot of nero wolfe lately and#i caught myself rotating archie goodwin in my mind before falling asleep the other night. just like rex stout would have wanted#EDIT: OH SHIT WAIT i forgot about harriet vane she first appeared 4 years earlier i'm so sorry harriet
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I have been having a really weird experience this summer, which is that I fell in love for the first time. I'm 36, and if you'd asked me if I had ever been in love previously, I would have said "I don't know, maybe? I used to think so but now I'm not sure? What's it mean to be in love?? how would I know if I had or not???" I thought that because I had not experienced it myself, the people who were always saying "oh no, trust me, You Would Know" were all lying or otherwise mistaken. I DID NOT BELIEVE THEM. I was fully like "this is some sort of mass delusion, there's no way that's a thing"
Now that I know that this is something that Exists even if it doesn't always Look Like They Tell You, there's SO many things that make sense to me!!! Whenever I encountered Romance Stuff before, I had no desire to do any of it AND could not comprehend why anyone else would ever want to either. It was this really large experiential disconnect for me. Whether or not I want to do any of those things, I now understand why other people would, if they Were In Love. LIKE I GET IT NOW. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME. I still can't relate to things like people in movies falling in love instantly, but now it's like "oh right, that's a potential state of being that exists," rather than "pretty fucked up that hollywood made Being In Love up to sell more flowers or whatever."
I feel like I'm constantly 24/7 running a software update on my brain that's been overdue to be installed for years or perhaps decades. It's just like "OK YUP UPDATING ALL THESE PROGRAMS AND FOLDERS. THIS WILL TAKE SOME TIME AND DATA BYTES OR WHATEVER, BUCKLE UP!" Pretty sure there's actually one of those little rainbow spinning icons above my head the whole time I'm conscious, like I am some sort of very confused Sim.
This happened to me REALLY SLOWLY, too, so it was like a big blockage in a river, and more and more stuff was just piling up against it, and then the dam broke, and now I'm sitting in the shallows of a giant basin lake under a massive waterfall wringing my hat out and going "woah. they got never before seen types of fish in here"
Who else knew about this??? Unfortunately the answer is: a majority of human beings over a certain age DID in fact know about this, it's just that every time anyone said "this is a way people feel about each other sometimes," I said "hmm. sounds fake." In-cred-i-ble.
Turns out that being in love is just an experience that people can have!! It's just a thing that happens sometimes! Some people have had it happen to them a bunch and some people not at all. It's just A Thing That Can Happen To You. Wtf. WHAT WILL I DISCOVER NEXT????? IT COULD BE ANYTHING !!! WHAT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE NEXT THING FOR ME TO REALIZE EXISTS? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. (Can you fucking imagine having this happen to you when you are in your seventies or eighties rather than your mid thirties ????? THAT WOULD BE THE WORLD'S MOST DISORIENTING EXPERIENCE.) (I also thought that "having chemistry" was fake.) (Do not diagnose me, I PROMISE I already know)
#anyway if im weird lately this is probably why. because it's weird in here (taps head)#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAG THIS#calling in gay to work#who can reblog this? absolutely no one. can you IMAGINE#this has got to happen to other people though right like it cant be THAT unusual#man who knows.#WEIRDER THINGS HAPPEN AT SEA I AM SURE.
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza series#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#ichiban kasuga#crossover#shadow the hedgehog#why the hell do i alre. oh i know why LMAO#snap sketches#me when sega finally gives me an excuse to shadow post THEY GAVE HIM A LIL ALOHA OUTFIT#everyone posting their cool as hell angel of darkness art and here i am …… hello …#he an ichi match........ nothing but love in my heart as of late lifes beautiful ...#i was already shadow doodling but now i can finally shadow post ........... AND WITH ICHIBAN#so funny too cause when i got my ichi watch i thought that the red and gold reminded me of shadow ... heh .....#expanding my rgg friend list for shadow it got ichi and haruka and daigo on there … who next …#i love drawing i love doing whatever i want#like going to bed. or something idk bye
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I was reading a post about CoTG and I realized: Rick has seemingly started to write every character pairing with the exact same dynamic, and he's not good at writing that dynamic and it doesn't make sense for 90% of the characters he writes it for.
It's that very specific dynamic of one half of the pair who is almost aggressive to the other party - "teasing" them constantly/insulting them, affectionately punching/judo flipping/maiming/etc, seemingly almost always exasperated with the other - and said other party usually just accepts this treatment or blanketly views it fondly, and may generally be framed as more incompetent than their partner and a little bit of a doormat (particularly relating to being insulted/teased/etc by their partner).
We start seeing this dynamic in HoO with Percy and Annabeth, as a sort of semi-inconsistent twist on their rivals-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic from the first series. Then the dynamic pattern develops further with Leo and Calypso. Then Magnus and Alex. Then Nico and Will, particularly in TSATS. And now in CoTG, it's Percy and Annabeth again but even more in this direction.
I know people have talked about Nico and Will's relationship over the series rapidly being shoehorned into Percabeth Two™, and it's extremely apparent in TSATS that Rick's doing it on purpose (including directly quoting Percabeth scenes but minorly tweaking them to be Solangelo). But recognizing it as an overarching trend in Rick's later books honestly reminds me a lot of how Rick started trying to apply the "Percy Formula" so-to-speak to nearly every protagonist in HoO (and then try to replicate similar character archetypes with Magnus and Apollo's narrations - moreso Magnus in being jaded and sarcastic, very much trying to be first series Percy. He only sounds unique because Rick failed at making him Percy 2. Apollo is more akin to later-series Percy characterization of being goofy and incompetent. Apollo [and Zeus] even got retconned to give Apollo a more similar backstory to Percy's). Rick seems to have decided that he thinks the audience wants this specific dynamic but 10 times over, except he's not good at writing it the first time because it's a bastardization of the time he did a different thing okay.
And Rick also seems aware of that too! Because he retconned Calypso and Leo at the end of TOA, probably because he realized how absolutely awful it was reading when they were written with that dynamic of Calypso just functionally hating Leo and constantly being aggressive towards him! The only time Rick's actually made the dynamic even semi-successful was with Magnus and Alex, because it actually fits within their characters, their dynamics with each other, and their environment. Alex beheading Magnus on the regular works out fine because there are no repercussions to that in Valhalla, Magnus will be fine, so it does genuinely come off as humorous. And Alex has been effectively established to be abrasive at times but have her genuine feelings shine through regularly, and that meshes well with Magnus' jaded-and-aloof-but-quietly-very-empathetic character. And Magnus has been established to, yes, not be great at combat, particularly compared to Alex. They are the only time that flavor of dynamic in that form was effective and cohesive.
Percabeth is no longer rivals-to-friends-to-lovers badasses on equal levels with shaky pasts who finally found some form of permanence with one another. Now it's super smart doting and affectionately aggressive girlfriend and her silly goofy 50%-of-the-time incompetent boyfriend who she judo flips/pushes off cliffs/etc - but affectionately~! Solangelo is trying to riff off of the early series "Poseidon & Athena are enemies" dynamic that Percabeth had but with Apollo & Hades being "opposites" but learning to accept each other, except it ends up with Will just coming off as a huge asshole and Nico being retconned to a complete doormat about it - when prior to that those characterizations would be completely contrary to their established characters (even just from TOA!). Calypso in HoO gets retconned from her PJO characterization to being snooty and aggressive, and Leo's false persona gets merged into his just normal personality except he just also becomes a doormat but more goofy than Nico with occasional haha-dark/depression-humor! Which Nico also got. Which was also a bastardized Percy trait that got redistributed.
It's exhausting. Rick write more than one relationship dynamic you can do it I promise
#pjo#riordanverse#percy jackson#tsats#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#will solace#mcga#magnus chase#alex fierro#leo valdez#calypso pjo#analysis#< bwah i feel bad putting that many tags but it is relevant#rr crit#< i guess?#tsats crit#< that one can be here though. the other crit tag is usually for Bad Stuff ergo why i feel weird putting it. this one's just random stuff#i feel like i should tag ships too cause it is an analysis of those ship dynamics in canon but i dont want it to come off as shipbashing :(#eh fuck it i'll ship tag. disclaimer- this is not shipbashing i am just doing analysis of how rick is bad at writing this specific dynamic#i am tagging these ships for relevancy and analysis purposes only. i do not intend to be mean about them re: fanon#fierrochase#percabeth#solangelo#caleo#i do think this is good to note though with writing these dynamics - like rick's intentions vs execution vs consistent characterization#i think you could also argue Carter and Zia exhibit some traits of this dynamic? like an early form of it in Rick's writing perhaps#i havent reread it in awhile though so i will save my thoughts on it for later#long post //#forgive if this post is semi-incomprehensible it was a quick late night rambly thing
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Things to do when you don't regress easily 💚
If you find regressing difficult, regress older, or just don't enjoy 'typical' agere activities like watching cartoons, try some of these:
Listen to music from when you were a child
Watch a film or show set in the time period of your childhood
Read your favourite children's book or watch an adaptation of it
Listen to a classic children's book on Audible/etc
Look up the fashions that were popular when you were younger
Look through lists of popular toys by decade
Visualise your childhood bedroom, or a place you felt safe as a child
List your favourite things at the age you regress to
Find age-appropriate activities for your favourite primary/elementary school subjects
Call/text a friend/relative who knew you as a child for a catch up about whatever you want
Make a wishlist of toys/clothes/etc you wanted as a child
Don't put too much pressure on yourself to regress in any given way, or at all, everyone's different
#hester rambles#why am I agere posting so much lately#it's almost like I'm an agere blog again#agere#sfw agere#sfw agedre#agedre#you know something that'll do
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