#who wouldn't be depressed.
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everybody loves to ask about your mental health but they never like to talk about the societal factors keeping your mental health worse
#like the mental illness wouldnt be so bad if we also had public transport and cheaper tuition and less bigotry and systemic oppression#but ok#yeah sharon im only experiencing depression the normal amount#'the normal amount is 0' TO YOU.#the world is so inaccessible when you have no money and no transportation#who wouldn't be depressed.#neph.txt#nepenthe vent
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I am totally fine
...Lester, who saw that Meg was like him, while observing her and her Beast...
...(and who didn't admit to himself, that he had a Beast too)...
...Meg who was so scared and worried out of her mind that Lester is in dander and is going to die in the cave of Trophonius that she kept trying to catch his attention and started singing in order to guarantee his safety...
...Lester, who selflessly agreed to give his life only if Meg is going to live; and then proceeded to put himself under risk of being suffocated...
...Meg who was helplessly watching how [her] dummy stabbed himself in the heart and fell limb (I am sure that for a second she was not sure if it was the end or not)...
...Lester who watched people he knew only for a few hours were killed for his sake, clearly not understanding why they would sacrifice themselves for him ("and, for some reason, Jason Grace decided that I would not die today too")...
...Meg, who was watching how her best friend was dying from poison; she didn't want him to die, she cried because she didn't want him to die...
...Lester who helped her to kill her Beast Nero... (I am sure that he is very proud of this achievement of hers)
...Lester, who promised her to come back, no matter what, because the sun always comes back...
Apollo, who did.
They, who became each other's family, because their families are shit (not all of the people/gods).
#lester papadopoulos#toa#meg mccaffrey#sunflower siblings#apollo#pjo#love them#they literally saved each other in different ways#they are ready to kill and die for eachother#and live#i think that lester would die for a cute puppy (who wouldn't)#or maybe he has depression#i think he has#yeah#trauma why not#i want to see them making each other hot chocolate at 2am in the kitchen cause they couldn't fall asleep#OR it was between 4th and 5th books abd they stopped at a gas station#at night and bought themselves hot chocolate#yesss#i need an additional book about that month? of them traveling through usa#siblings#i will find a way to dive into Lester's/Apollo's issues#and Lester's depression#because (headcanon) i am sure that it was not only depression but some sort of of e.d. (eating disorder) due to stress#or body dysphoria#but it is a headcanon#live to picture my trauma onto some beautiful losers of whom i am very-very proud#OH abd both of them grew mentally#i am proud of them
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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like idk how to tell certain bg3 fans this but wyll is also a victim in his own right. even if he acts all 'okay' and doesn't regret what happened to him/what he chose. it's a very poignant part of his character that he is very much a tragic victim in his own right .
#ewbie.txt#even if u break him from his pact like he doesnt even realize hes a victim.... like....#also ppl who say he is the most 'okay' of them all makes me laugh considering his first romance scene is him sitting all alone#depressed as all hell#ppl seem to forget that mizora singled him out on purpose when he was all alone as a child because he wouldn't say no. she knew this.
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Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.
The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.
"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."
And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.
Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.
That person was a child.
I was a child.
It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.
I'm not ashamed.
I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.
I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.
If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.
#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child#for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but#pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard?#i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age#but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all#and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected#and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement#and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw#until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge#in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug?#i would. a million times over.#anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright#its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam#irl#personal
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AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille
i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.
that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.
idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?
like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.
i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh
#asks#tunnel anon#screencapped so it doesn't show up in the l*imar tag#anyway don't read these tags if lesbian marcille is your truth. you're real for that and i would never oppose that#but i guess im in the bisexual marcille camp for a couple of reasons (first and foremost being that ryoko kui is like.#a fabulous incredibly likely bisexual and marcille is clearly her Specialest Little Guy so it feels only fair)#so technically laios and marcille “dating” is a possibility in my head but such an insanely depressing one that i don't give it much though#like yeah sure marcille is capable of being attracted to him and even having feelings for him if he pursued her intensely enough#but that's the paradox. he wouldn't.#once again. equally happy to be her husband or brother in law bc he doesn't understand being attracted to women#and dearest marcille needs more than that.#little neurotic dragoness bunny who needs to be desired and wanted with an all-consuming passion#hopeless romantic freakassishly monogamous cringe darling who needs to be “the one” for her partner in order to thrive in a relationship#because she wants to be given as good as she's giving and nothing less (and boy does she give!! she gives her everything!!)#so i vastly prefer her never developing feelings for him bc he never decides to pursue her in a way she can't ignore#over them getting together and her self-esteem taking hit after hit as he demonstrates no romantic passion for her#like yes it's toxic and ridiculous. but let's be so real. if someone blatantly flirted with her and he did nothing and felt nothing#she'd be crying herself to sleep feeling unwanted and unessential and “not even worth getting jealous abt” bc she's Like That.#while he starts to hate himself more and more for not being able to give her what she needs#kissing them on the head and tucking them safely into my personal canon. i could never do that to them.#also marcille being the first and foremost thing that laios and falin “fight” over in a way where falin is finally able to assert herself i#yknow??
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#I can't believe my computer broke just a couple of days before the new chapter came out.#Not to be dramatic or anything but this was my last straw#It means everything to me 😭😭😭 My puter has my whole life in in. And endless resources of everything#That's why people tell you to backup stuff 🤦🤦🤦#Okay before I get too dramatic it's not gone like I can turn it on just fine.#Except there's no cursor to be found anywhere and I can't find a way to fix it#(Yeah it's not the f4 key I've tried that. Repeatedly)#So since there's no way to turn the puter off without mouse I had to kill it the hard way 4-5 times today#(aka every time I tried turning it on again in hope everything got fixed on its own)#And when I turned it on again five minutes ago. IT DIDN'T START NORMALLY. AND IT ASKED THE SYSTEM LANGUAGE AND STUFF#I lost like. Half my lifespan. I was terrified it got formatted out of nowhere and I had lost everything#It didn't. It seemingly is fine (from what I can see from my desktop).#But man I really didn't need this kind of stress on top of average exams depression#Idk what to do... I want to go to the guy in my dorm who studies computer science but it'd be the third time I ask him for help–#and I'm a little embarrassed now. Asking for help sucks in general#But I don't have money to pay consultation...#I think there is a chance my touchpad just worn out since. Like. I use my computer extensively#But even that seems a little excessive? Not even the buttons work. I've only had this computer for three or four years...#Anyways I don't have a physical mouse. And I can't spend money to buy it when there's a chance that wouldn't fix the problem. Ughhhhhhhhhh#random rambles#If I stop posting in the next days. It's simply because I can't 😭😭😭#Goodbye people please keep posting ss kk for me
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woke up to someone on my DNI rbing from me urgh
literally a 50 yr old who has no clue what "yandere" really means, demonizes npd, and hates poly people
actually insane behavior
news flash guys..... yanderes can be awful and abusive people too who aren't devoted but just want to own or control you 👍👍 doesn't make them "fake yanderes" it just makes them abusive
also like half of yanblr is people with npd or narcissistic tendencies
#hate mfs who don't even know wtf the yandere genre is 💔💔#yes yanderes can cheat and be abusive people#maybe less so on the cheating but theres definitely an archetype for anything#also narcissists being on ur dni tells me everything i need to knoe#you wouldn't put “adhd dni” or “depressed people dni” because it sounds fucking stupid#and also poly people being on ur dni is crazy
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sigyn that married loki like ages ago so when it comes out he's jotun she's like. 'well it's a bit late to do anything about that'
#''bit sad to find out about this after his death but i suppose i can't blame him for that :/''#''tell me if he ends up not being dead i think we should sit down and talk about this''#''totally not cool so hide something like this. im going to dye my hair black as charcoal and not even tell him''#''lets see how he likes it''#''the royal family sucks btw. it succ real good.''#''how does someone find out they are secretly from a different realm. how wouldn't they know. couldn't he tell?''#''im not saying it's loki's fault but i think it would be less his fault if he was less dramatic about this kind of thing''#''aaannnndd of course he threw himself off the bifrost by the end of it. do you people know nothing about him?''#sigyn just decides loki isn't dead to cope btw#it's like thor except she doesn't get depressed about it#''shouldn't she move out of the palace since her husband died?'' nah sorry no one can stand bringing up the topic#she roasts them about it#like have you no shame#there is not even a body#are you trying to kick her out? don't you know who she married?#''he's dead'' alright believe what you want but odin and frigga haven't said anything so she's sticking around#sigyn like i have more important things to do than worry about this kind of thing. like managing the vanaheim exports#she needs to make her money
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Last night I told a stranger all about you They smiled patiently with disbelief I always knew you would succeed, no matter what you tried And I know you did it all in spite of me —IN SPITE OF ME, MORPHINE
content warnings: neglect, abuse mention, drugs, alcoholism, death, depression, grief, homophobia, allusions to antisemitism.
I’m a bad father. This is an unfortunate truth about myself. I am a loving father, but a neglectful one. I do not hit my son, I don't yell or mess with his emotions, I haven't gone to jail or drunk myself into a stupor or picked drugs over him, but I am still a bad father. I am a loving, affectionate father, and I try to give Micah everything that I can. I buy him whatever he wants. I take him on trips—or I did, when he still allowed me to—to wherever he wanted. I told him how smart, how handsome, how funny he is, a million times over. But none of that will make up for what I didn't give him—my time. I chose work over him. I chose work over everyone.
Every attorney I've ever known has done the same.
My own father had done the same, to a lesser degree. A lawyer just like me, though our specializations are different, and sometimes I wonder if he would be disappointed by me going into family law instead of criminal law like he had. (By that metric, would he be even more disappointed by Levi, my twin, choosing academia over the law?) My father was there, physically, but his mind was often somewhere else. He was busy thinking about how to get his client off on man two instead of man one, or expatiating on the meaning of mens rea, or just something. Just something that gave him a faraway look in his eye, something that captured his attention instead of us and we could only get it back if we were too loud, or if we called his full name in our boyish, shrill voices, which he hated to hear because children should always respect their parents. So, he was there in body, but the mind…
Our mother made up for that. Where my dad was distant until it was time for a lecture or a punishment, my mother was overly involved. She wanted to know what Levi and I were talking about so late into the night, or if we had girlfriends yet, or who was better: Bon Jovi or Van Halen? As if we didn’t know she thought good music consisted of two names only—Frankie Valli and Meat Loaf. She was sometimes a little outnumbered by her hyperactive children, but she has always been a strong woman, and she has always taken everything in stride. The only thing that ever got in her way was my father’s death. It was so sudden, so abrupt, that it changed the very nature of all three of us for the rest of our lives. My mother fell into a deep depression for a few years, a fugue that was only broken by our high school graduations and an opening on the country club’s board. Levi and I were always codependent, but our father’s death made us circle the wagons—mom was too distracted, dad was gone, and we were mostly on our own. We only had each other. We kind of preferred it that way.
That’s not to say that I had bad parents. My parents loved me. My mother still loves me. Even for the generation that they came from, or being New England Democrats in the eighties, my parents were rather progressive. They hated Reagan deeply and looked… favorably upon gay people. They never taught us to hate anyone—except Conservatives—and we were told to look at the world through a lens of understanding. The Weissbergs were proud to be contemporaries of the Kennedys and the Wadsworths. A long, long blue blooded lineage of doctors, lawyers, professors, and authors. We were like the rest of high society, except for our differing religions, and I think that kept us humble. To know that we could waltz right into a party, but know we wouldn’t be entirely welcome. That there were some doors that would always be closed to us, no matter how long we have lived here or how far back our family tree goes. We weren’t as stuffy as the WASPs. We know how to have fun… as long as we don’t bring any shame to the family name.
My parents knew something was different about me, and in their own way, they had accepted that. They accepted it in the way someone ignores someone’s drinking because at least it’s not meth. Particularly at that time, when my father was still alive. Now, my mother’s a sweet old lady, but even she had some reservations about my behavior when I was a teenager. I made sure never to do anything in front of them, but in the microsociety that I grew up in, rumors were told more often than truths. Part of what came back to them was true. I was… lecherous. Despite barely clearing 5’5” for most of high school (until a last minute growth spurt), I had a natural ease with people. Especially girls, but not only girls. Even after the death of my father, I have always been able to just walk into a room and now I’d be leaving with someone that night. My parents tutted and shook their heads at my antics when it came to making out with a senator’s daughter at the country club, but my close relationship with my childhood best friend Aharon was outright ignored—denied—best as they could. Not because they thought it was wrong that I liked another boy, but that I'd do it so openly.
Again, I did not have bad parents. It was the eighties, so all things considered, my parents were a liberal safe haven. That’s as best as we could ask for back then, just the right to exist. To be acknowledged. Because even if they were turning a blind eye, you’d still have known something was there to turn away from it. And, despite all the petty arguments I used to get into with my father, I know he loved me. I know my mother loves me, but she’s not always proud of me. I don’t know if my father would be proud of me. I have every success in the world, but I don’t have my son. I don’t have a wife anymore. My firm is all I have. My work is all I have. Sometimes, that’s okay with me. Because it has to be. I have nothing else, and that’s by design. I just didn’t realize what that design was until it was too late. It made me successful, but it made me a bad father.
It’s not that I didn’t want to be there for him. Or my wives. I just wanted more than anything to be able to do both. To be the father and husband that they needed, and the lawyer that I am. I couldn’t do both. I don’t think anyone can. Most of my colleagues in New York came from the same type of background—rich families, a legacy admission to whichever ivy league, an expectation for success, a wife and kid at home. The majority of them had the same kind of proclivities. Some were actually worse than me, if you can believe it. Drug and alcohol abuse runs rampant in the legal circles in any city, but particularly Manhattan. Particularly in prestigious white-shoe firms. A few of them would proclaim they’d hate for their children to follow them into law, that the stress and environment wasn’t worth it, but most of us would be lying if we said that. It’s sort of the ultimate validation, isn’t it? Your children wanting to follow in your footsteps, to be like Daddy because that’s exactly what we did. Even if we did things slightly differently, like choosing a different specialization, we still became lawyers like our fathers.
That’s the thing, though. I never pressured Micah to pick law school. I never pushed it on him, or said ‘you’re going to Columbia like I did and that’s final, anywhere else—especially a state school—is a betrayal’ like some other men did. I have always wanted him to be happy, to find his own path. If he wanted to be a lawyer? Then that would be amazing, it would make me glad, but it was never a requirement for my love and attention. I never wanted anything for Micah but the very best. I guess the very best doesn’t happen without a more attentive father. That was what he needed and I hadn’t realized it until it was too late, because I thought what I was doing was the very best—giving him whatever he wanted with the money I earned. Showing my devotion to him through setting him up for life, so he could go to an ivy league school or climb mountains or just whatever the fuck he wanted to do. The freedom to do what he wanted, to be who he wanted to be.
Okay, yes, there were some days where I convinced myself that it was okay because Micah didn’t need me. He had Terry and he had Tamara to give him the parental affection he needed. The long hours and the missed baseball games and postponed dinners were okay in the long run, because I could fix that later. I couldn’t represent Kelsey Grammar’s ex-wife again. I couldn’t impress the partners with my work ethnic by doing all my work later. The success would be long term, but the actual work was temporary. Opportunities lost at the firm wouldn’t come back again, even with the last name Weissberg to do the heavy lifting. I had to sacrifice my relationships in order to just be a tenth successful as the guy above me, and for some stupid reason, I thought Micah would always be there. I don’t know why I thought that, since my own father wasn’t there forever, but I did think that. I thought Micah would never stop being excited to see me. I thought I’d always be his hero. I thought he would never stop loving me, simply because I am his father. I was wrong.
That’s the most horrible part, I think. That I was so stupid to think that Micah would always be okay because I’ve always been okay. I’ve come through my father’s death, all my divorces, every horrible case being okay. Maybe Terry, Tammy, and Thalia would say otherwise, but all things considered… I guess I just figured Micah wouldn’t suffer any hardships, or if he did, he’d bounce back just like I had. I was wrong. If I was a more attentive father, maybe I would have figured that out years ago. Decades ago. I’d have been able to help him in some way. If I had known… If I had forced myself to know, maybe he wouldn’t be so bad off. Or I’d be able to get him treatment earlier. Protected him from whatever happened in high school. I don’t know what it was, Ravi wouldn’t tell me, but if it set him on this path where he can’t handle goodbyes or keep his head on straight or just be okay, maybe I could have stopped that. I don’t know.
Terry says self-pity does not become me or some shit. But it’s all I have sometimes. Am I not supposed to be sad about how I failed my child? Would it be better to act as if I have done nothing wrong? It is an unequivocal truth: I have failed Micah, and I cannot fix it. I cannot be forgiven for it. But I won't stop trying. Never.
I am a bad father. But I love my son, and nothing will ever change that.
I repeat, nothing will ever change that.
I repeat, I love my son.
I repeat, I am a bad father.
#* narrative / self para.#* inspiration / muse.#this is so weird and self indulgent but i truly cannot remember the last time i wrote something in first person#idk i just felt like doing this to get back in touch with his character and help me ride through my writer's block#you guys don't have to read it. it's very long and it's not clear who he's talking to#a therapist? unlikey. a friend? he wouldn't be so honest. a stranger at a bar in another city? maaaybe#neglect mention tw#abuse mention tw#drugs mention tw#alcoholism mention tw#homophobia mention tw#death mention tw#depression mention tw#grief mention tw#antisemitism mention tw
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Man, it is JOEVER.
#Not even writing makes me feel better#Yesterday I sat in a restaurant and wrote for literal hours#And at the end of it I didn't care at all#It barely made me happy#I was just sitting in my closet trying to record my most recently finished chapter#And I literally left my closet without recording a single sentence because I feel like what I wrote sucks ass#I feel no connection to it#I genuinely feel nothing when I re-read it#It's like all my love and joy and excitement for the very craft of writing has disappeared#This was like#My one reason for staying alive but I feel like I genuinely don't give a shit about it anymore#I feel next to no desire to continue working with this craft I've loved since I was a child#Might fuck around and tell my therapist I have a crush on her just to feel SOMETHING#I am in deep with this depression shit#It is not looking good#Ohh and I called a hotline and told the woman who picked up I was dealing with transference or whatever#And she was like#That wouldn't be enough for her to terminate your relationship#And that's very good to hear because boy do I have some shit to tell her next session#I might just have to lay it bare#I'm fucked#If I kill myself will y'all tell the TRAs that I had the fattest ass on radblr?#I'm not a radfem but like#Pretty please?
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people on twt saying nicki wouldn't call armand a slur as he did in 2x3....have y'all read tvl?? nicki is mean. nicki is cruel. of course he would do that ????
#i keep forgetting that nicki being mean to lestat is forgivable but louis being mean isn't#:)))#it's going to be nauseating watching people baby nicki who is the actual worst#like they're going to be all 'my babbbbby boy nicki he's just depressed' as he tells lestat to kill himself#as he tells lestat that he despises him and that his light is what's wrong and that they should have died#but noooo lestat had to thrive and fuck you for thriving lestat#but i've had to hear 'mutual abuse' arguments about leslou for years#and had to watch people legit agree with the theatre des vampires crowd with#'well lestat wouldn't have cheated if louis showed him love'
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Kind of spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't watched My Adventures with Superman?
If anyone has watched My Adventures with Superman so far then you'll know how they're making Clark feel like he doesn't belong, that he's different and a villain. You'll also know that Clark thinks his friends feel this away about him as well because of a couple misunderstandings and not being there when these things were discussed.
If any of you write fanfics then I beg you to write some really angsty story about this. I love how awkward and shy Clark is in the series and how loving he is. This would make it so much more heartbreaking knowing he would do anything for his friends whilst he thinks they don't care about him as much as he thought. Does this make sense? Idrk if I'm making loads of sense or not but oh well.
I've only found a couple angsty Superman fics and I desperately need more to read after watching the last few episodes of Season 2. So please, if anyone is writing any please tell me! I need depressed Clark Kent in my life!!!
#idk what this was tbh#i just really need depressed superman in my life#awkward and shy and loveable Clark Kent but make him severely depressed who thinks he doesn't belong#he would do anything for his friends and strangers but they wouldn't do the same for him#he wants to give up and maybe he will but we won't find for ages#my adventures with superman#clark kent#superman#lois lane#jimmy olsen
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:/
#wanting to be on here so much more often but im so anxious about the current state of the world and trying to get a job#i get rejection after rejection and my parents are literally talking behind my back and are recommending me jobs that just need a hs diploma#or they think im not applying#and then theres these two equal and opposing forces: one who is so scared of moving far far far away from home and wants to stay in the#familiar forever. and the other side wants to gtfo and make something of life#my brain is just so loud and i feel like such a failure all the time and my parents are only making me feel worse#it shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a job in bioengineering. it's fucking engineering#and back to the parent thing... i wouldn't be this upset if they weren't so pushy. in this job market it takes approx 6 months for new grads#to get a job#it hasn't even been two months#ik they want what's best. but i feel so belittled#i feel belittled by everything these days like it takes me forever to respond to messages and i feel so depressed#maybe i just need a good cry but i truly am just so stuck and i wish future me could grab me by the shoulders and tell me it's gonna fucking#be ok and just relax#i just dont see anything good happening for me in the future#negativity tw#apple lady words
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Scenes from Ch 6,7 and 8 from Memento Mori by victarion!
I'm just drawing the scenes that I personally feel are important/stood out to me a lot.. as for these scenes, I felt they were worth being addressed due to them displaying the two protagonist's mentalities
other scenes: Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 4
#persona 3#persona 3 reload#p3p#persona#the fanon takes for these characters are very interesting#they are both very depressed kids#but who wouldn't be in that situation?#doodle#what I like about them both is that they are both very kindred souls fanon or canon#I will be able to draw something cute soon! ;v;) there's some that comes after these
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Look, if you've encountered a disabled person's life or living standards and you personally don't like it, the least you can do is not saying "I'm so grateful I don't like like that" or worse "I'm so glad I'm not you"
It is actually incredibly simple to simultaneously not center yourself and the way you aren't disabled or the way your disabilities don't impact your life like others and to not shame and humiliate others. It's sometimes okay to keep comments like that inside your mind, where it won't hurt that person.
#disability#disability advocacy#ableism#ableism tw#especially applies to disabled people who physically cannot clean or mentally ill people#like at a certain point you don't choose to live in a certain way. especially if it is a situation you do not like.#like for instance a depressed person often might get so unwell they don't take care of ANYTHING...#...and when you want to quite literally die... it's hard to be clean and tidy and presentable#but like that's just a wild example that obviously never happens (sarcasm)#i'm just so fucking tired of seeing this shit and seeing the people saying that shit facing no challenge...#...because i think a lot of people agree with the general idea of 'if i wouldn't live like you...#...'maybe your life isn't worth living (because i have deemed it so)' and like. holy shit man it's bleak and depressing#i understand the impulse to judge and that is neither good nor bad. what IS bad is doing THAT shit#if you're judging somebody that isn't always a terrible response. but if you're kicking somebody while they're down that...#...says something about you i think
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