#who says it will be gay (sighs)
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sort of but not technically for @terrortracks - here is an untitled ‘survives the expedition’ solving playlist for you all <3 (more commentary in the tags lol)
listen on 8tracks here
1. All These Things That I’ve Done - The Killers
over and in, last call for sin / when everyone’s lost, the battle is won
2. The Only Thing - Sufjan Stevens
faith in reason, i wasted my life playing dumb / signs and wonders, sea lion caves in the dark / blind faith, god's grace, nothing else left to impart
3. Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier
when the stench of the sea and the absence of green / are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / not an end, but the start of all things that are left to do
4. Blue Ridge Mountains - Fleet Foxes
terrible am I, child, even if you don't mind / in the quivering forest where the shivering dog rests…
5. We Both Go Down Together - The Decemberists
i laid you down on the grass of a clearing / you wept, but your soul was willing
6. Olympians - Andrew Bird
you start spitting out anathemas…
7. Love Love Love - The Mountain Goats
love, love is going to lead you by the hand / into a white and soundless place
8. King and Lionheart - Of Monsters and Men
in the winter night sky, ships are sailing … past the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind / though far away / we're still the same / howling ghosts, they reappear in mountains that are stacked with fear / but you're a king and i’m a lionheart
#more thoughts in my tag ramble lmao check me out —>#they’re gonna be ok. they’re also gonna be the death of me#terror tracks#the terror amc#the terror#terrorposting#solomon tozer#john irving#i wish they had a taggable ship name. sigh#tozer x irving#mine#blue ridge mountains makes less sense out of the context of them running away together so just know#the context is them running away together#‘terrible am I child even if you don’t mind’ meaning (in my personal interpretation)#‘what I am (gay) is bad even if you personally don’t mind it’#he’s working on it ok? give him some time#Sol is the shivering dog. obvi#and also IVE GOT SOUL BUT IM NOT A SOLDIER📣📣📣BTWWWW#god what a good song#Sol’s inner thoughts: do I deserve my position anymore? I’ve failed at keeping my men safe#if I’ve been stupid and cowardly am I really still a soldier?#is there room for me in the world anymore now that I’ve returned to England? room for someone who’s done what I’ve done?#and I think it applies to irving as well. I’ve got soul but I’m no soldier. not like you. i wasn’t prepared for any of this#I’m not a fighter#but sol says: I wasn’t prepared for this either. it’s ok. we share that#musicposting
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i know modern dating is a hell because i once went on a date with this lady and when we were about to kiss i pulled back and went "oh sorry i thought we were a vase for a second" and she didn't like that in the least
#i was out there wasting my best material on audiences who were giving me nothing#personal nonsense#i do think my girlfriend gives me credit for being funny when even when i am being earnest which makes me feel very charming#she works in law and when we met i was like oh can i ask you a work-related question#and she was like big sigh assuming i was going to ask for legal advice#and i was like sorry but where do you buy your suits? and she did a very friendly laugh that made me feel super at ease#she was also very nice about it when i got too high and was telling her it makes me anxious that#i can't tell if zoomers who say slay a lot are gay or just very logged on#she was like 'oh i'm sorry for laughing you're just being very darling' and i was like 🥺🥺🥺#sorry for girlfriendposting so much she's just the best partner i've ever been with!
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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that stupid comicbook.com article and also fan response in general to the companion romance situation annoys me so bad for the sole reason that everyone acts like the only people in the game are the pc and playable companions
#mine#dragon age#so many people use dorian as justification and like. you know we could have non romanceable characters who are gay#where’s the people using cassandra as evidence for why this is good actually#‘it limits the types of stories you can tell’ with THOSE specific characters. however there are probably others#i’ll admit i thought it was bizarre that they made every companion romanceable. i hate to make this comparison bc i know everyone has been#saying they’re similar when they’re really not. but that specifically feels like some baldurs gate shit#but like. think of leliana in inquisition. joker in mass effect. etc. characters whose story develops even if they’re not going on missions#it’s just this weird video game conception that sexuality only exists for romanceable characters#(or i should say. people assume every NPC is heterosexual by default. until proven otherwise by a romance arc)#but like. everyone uses the dorian example. his conflict with his homophobic father happens regardless of whether you romance him#it’s not tied to the fact that he’s romanceable. y’all just see sexuality as only relevant when you personally can or cannot smash#idk if the lighthouse will be populated now that we know it’s in the fade but theoretically we’ll have allies#and some of those allies. may identify as something other than cishet#or other than pansexual if that’s the problem but grow up. pansexual characters are not cheap and not lesser#playersexuality is a concept so gamer bros can pretend their companions are straight#because if they don’t interact with dorian and sera they can pretend everyone is straight in this game#here’s the thing like. i can understand the disappointment that every character is romanceable bc. sigh. gaider does make a good point#but that’s not what’s going on here. people are upset the companions are explicitly pan and the game is Woke#and they might try to spin it as ‘b but what about dorian’s arc in a game like this’ when once again#there may be other characters. who are not companions. who we spend time with#varric and solas are literally in all of the stuff we’ve and neither of them are playable#come ON
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Like tbh I knew the finale was gonna be a hot mess bc HBO cut 2 episodes out which is already insanely rough to fit all the content needed for a narrative tv series, but the fact that HBO didn't even let them have 40mins to an hour for their finale episode and had them finish it off in 30 MINUTES is ridiculous.
Fuck publishing companies, I hope if they do get renewed for the final season they get back 10 episodes and are allowed to have more time to write before principal photography, they did their best with what they had but it's hard not to mourn the loss of the little moments and the time to breathe between scenes.
#ofmd#ofmd spoilers i guess#also at all the people saying this is bury your gays why are yall so stupid that is not what that means you fools#also just moruning the fact that bc this ep is probably gonna do poorly we might never get s3 SIGH#what a fucking rough time i feel for all the people who made it its not fuckin fair
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Gay true happy endings are much more rare in the contemporary media than whatever you are planning, Jeff, fucking heartbreak junkie.
So, I'm just saying.
#who says it will be gay (sighs)#but if anyone can end a horror story with being alive and happy that will be us#also do you remember Jeff going “Mafia world is so interesting... FREE LOVE!!11”#also:#HeSheIt: love died#Ingredients: love moved away#Love Area: love ended#KinnPorsche: well...#WujuBakery: Barcode: I cried a lot#The Paradise of Thorns: love died#Happy Ending:...?#jeff satur#happy ending the series#but horror is the gayest genre of them all that's why it's my favorite#if you can get away with happy gays anywhere it's there
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tma fandom make me so mad sometimes
#look to the left. people who genuinely believe jon is inherently evil and unworthy of redemption.#look to the right. people who genuinely believe jon did literally nothing wrong and was justified + correct#look to the left again. people saying elias is gay and homophobic whilst also having headcanons that are basically just#homophobic stereotypes. look back to the right. i cant even begin to describe what theyre going to tim + martin + sasha.#fanon is so ubiquitous that if you disagree with it youre Just Fucked because nobody knows how to characterise anymore#sigh.#sorry to anyone whos heard me make the same 10 complaints about tma fandom a billion times over lol
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i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately
#i need to have a gay moment or im going to die in real life. guys its so hard#mfw i never leave the house and im extremely closed off and distant from people and i never talk to anybody and im a shutin: When will i#meet my love.#ITS NOT GONNA HAPPENNN MY LOVE WILL NOT MATERIALIZE INSIDE MY STUPID GARAGE. PUNCHES THE WALL#also you may think connor youre not closed off you literally yap constantly about every single thought in your head. Yes. but thats to you#guys as a whole so it doesnt count#one on one conversations im so scared im like acat hiding under a bed. genuinely shaking crying#BUT I DONT NOT LIKE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS I MISS THEM BADLY. i used to talk to online friends Everyday. and ugh. obvioisly.#i just like. idk. i wanna make friends but i feel like im so bad at being a person that its wah too much work to befriend me#i dont mean that selfdeprecatingly i mean like. i need the other person to make the first moves always which sucks bc thats a bad thing to#expect of someone but if i ever made the first moves i. well i just couldnt my brain would shut down its a whole thing. connor doesnt speak#unless spoken to etc. and again ik i yap on here#but thats bc this is like my diary. dms or discord or whatever Is a conversation.......sigh#but ya. and with time i think id warm up and be able to initiate congersation and reciprocate properly but thats a long time to make someone#wait. bc i also when ppl do reach out i like. im like . like w my old coworkers we were i think friends but i was like Im the only one who#thinks that they dont actually like Me so whenever they talked id be like Theyre just doing tjis to be nice or out of pity#which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical#but it takes me a while to like. actually understand somebody is trying to be friends bc im obtuse as fuck#and im like Well theyre saying hello to me and amiling whenever rhey see me just to be nice or possibly bc they hate me <- stupid guy on 🌎
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oh my fucking god
#tomgreg#I CANT BREAHTEEEEE OH MY GOD#this is so fucking good holy shit#i need this oh my god#succ makes me wanna kms but these mfs make me step away from the rope#ik i'm not gonna get them for the next few episodes but holy fuck. i need them#ok so we all agree the cameras dont exist and tom just wanted to squeeze info out of greg right. right????#like. he wanted to know just how far greg got with her. he wanted to know what happened.#ALSO GREGS ANSWER AT DID YOU RUMMAGE TO FRUITION EVIDENTLY HE DID NOT#AND WHO TF SAYS RUMMAGE IN PANTS I FUCKING. GREG IS GAY. greg is gay. greg is gay. greg is gay. gregs gay.#they tried to get off and he was like call me a fucking idiot and she was like HUH??? and he was like um.#he's gay and in love with tom what a fucking shame. sorry bestie.#this episode is absolutely wild i'm losing my mind#also prev to this u do Not have to be that close to him to talk to him greg like jsyk.#also tom when you say tell me try not to look like yall are about to kiss like bffr.#can i not say? MEANS NO. IT FUCKING MEANS NO!!!!! sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh
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so the way i learn hbomberguy is bisexual is through a video he made to cook james somerton's plagiarizing ass
#i do respect it#i always found weird that he watched TOH and arrived to the conclusion that hunter was meant to be set up as gus' partner#anyone who's watched late s2 will be able to say no#and he even points out that willow's parents fill the gay dads trope#so like....... did he literally google 'the owl house gay' or 'the owl house mlm' to get both informations????}#that some people believe hunter and gus' chemistry can be read as romantic at the same time that they acknowledge the canon fact that-#-willow has two dads? it's such a weird thing#(which must be like 5 people judging by how hard people fell by the sheer blandessness of huntlow)#it's like he just watched s1 and didn't bother with the rest of the show#and believed queer stuff was more explicitly shown in the text aside from lumity's existence#i mean. idk. mostly i'm dealing with the embarrassment of having taken js seriously at some point#this fucking sucks#sigh i'm going to bed.
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OK WELL I GOT THE REALLY BAD ENDING BECAUSE I FUCKING LEFT THE STUPID HAMMER WITH LAEZEL AT CAMP LMAO
OOPS ID LOVE TO AVOID THIS MAJOR ETHICAL DILEMMA BUT GOLLY WOULD YOU BELIEVE I LEFT THE HAMMER I STOLE FROM A DEMON AT HOME TEE HEE
#see this is why i feel like#for flavor reasons#the whole gang should tag along for brain time#even if they're not actually in combat with you#sigh im gonna have to switch out astarion again#really i should have been switching him out for every boss fight up until now and just kept him on hand for exploring and minor encounters#but i didnt not just because i liked having his dumb ass around to be gay and funny#although lbr thats a major factor#but also i just like. prefer to have a party dynamic and stick with it#probably should have been more flexible tho#oh well shruggggo#ill bring gale and Shadowheart and laezel#rogues. what are they good for#i say before i make a second tav on tactician mode who is a rogue. ha. haha. ha.#bg3
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cant get the thought of aziraphale having a 'younger' or 'more time appropriate' human form out of my head.
just imagine our angel looking and being dressed like an early 2000s teen, or even a 1980s young adult. you cant tell me that, with how much aziraphale reads, he wouldnt want to try and experience as much as what is described in those books as possible.
clubbing? frat parties? college? highschool? going on stupid adventures with other teens? the drama of being a teenager/young adult in school would absolutely draw him in
i dont think he used wouldve used that form a lot, but he used it enough times for it to be slightly broken in and for him to slip into a different mindset when wearing it.
this also brings me to where my brain goes everytime i think of this. and that is:
what if azi, experiencing the joys of young adulthood, trying to learn about it and getting fully into it with other people in hopes of trying new things and influencing them to choose fun for the sake of it bringing joy and goodness, ran into our beloved beatles haircut crowley in the 80s while at a bar?
this has been floating in my head for about a week and a half now. the beloveds being in different, but similar, bodily forms. i can imagine crowley having one as well.
im rotating this in my mind like a rotisserie chicken btw
#tdahbposting#good omens#i dont think crowleys would be worn in much either but i think it would be hilarious if their forms ended up rivaling against each other#like with their cliques#or aziraphale when he meets 80s crowley while hes in his younger form just. freezing and gay panicking#maybe i am just a sucker for aziraphale being more into anthropology and experiencing humans as an 'undercover human'#it would be even funnier if a while while while later they ended up talking about different forms yknow like if they had any#and azi is like. sigh. i do have one other one.#and crowley is like “SHOW?? NOW?? WHAT!!??”#and as soon as he caves in and shows him crowley just.#“hey wait. HEY WAIT. THAT WAS YOU??”#what they did in the bar? or after the bar? i cannot say.#hanky panky? flirty convo? maybe a lil smoocha smooch? who knows#it would also be funny if#some friend of young azi's: “omg thank you for holding my drink you are such an angel”#young azi: “oh im no such thing.” <- completely serious#and crowley is like. hey. wait.#computer INHANCE#idk im talking out my ass i just like to daydream about completely incoherent things with my little sckroingles
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Leopold I and Eugene of Savoy walked so modern Nerd x Jock pairings could ru- *a hoard of historians rightfully and violently grab me and whisk me off their conference podium to the back where there are sickening gunshots and I am never heard of ever again*
((turn on audio you will regret))
#Sigh. Every single disclaimer i do not sh*p real ppl dead or alive etc etc this is a joke blah blah#Leopold i#Emperor leopold i#Eugene of savoy#17th century#Holy roman empire#Hre#austrian history#Battle of vienna#Siege of Vienna#war of the spanish succession#I could probably find something poetic about Eugene being rejected by Louis XIV for being ToO uGLy for the french army only to be taken in#By straight up the ugliest ruler on earth at that point n terrorising the continent tgt that iSNT THERE but i am a wr*ter such is my curse#Also yea probably not that nerd x jock dynamic to a T but like. It Sure Was Some Kind Of Dynamic#Something™ about quiet theatre kid Leopold constantly depicting himself as a military man ((like Eugene!)) & being super generous with him#And Known Gays ((whether it was true or not)) Eugene describing Leopold as a father figure like the mUTUAL ADORATION....... Pls 🤡 me n WHO#Btw re Eugene Queer i truly dk enough about him to say but what straight person signs off in a mix of 3 different languages lmao ((jk))
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anything exciting going on today guys. ive been playing sdv all day due to the devil resides within me
#got to winter so im doing ginger island stuff#its. sigh. yk...#my mod t fix it is like. the dialogue + portrait changes are in place but not. the spritez? which annoys ne ...#also my one mod t make ermm. winter star less christmassy seems t be messing up.. bc the sprite to replace the christmas trees is like#its there but. Behind the christmas tree? like it loaded both at once.#i havent xhabged the settjngs for that Or my map mod so idk..bc it wa working fine in year 1... mgght just hsve t dig in deeper and check..#i also umm disabled my sprites + portraits mod for the ginger island charactsrs so HOPEFULLY that helps. i havent reloaded le game yrt so#mabye tmrw itll be all fixed... grins#BUT. not 2 brag i got both of the winter fish i was looking for in 1 day... first day of winter zlets go gamers. and thats all j rly hsd#for winter. the rest is umm. my last 2 spring thangs (apricot and legend) and then the aby season stuff which i think atp is. liteeally#just the ginger island stuff... so i should have that done by spring !! very exciting 4 me..#anorher issue abt the umm diverse ginger island mod is. i HAVE the addon t make the portraits look nicer but. Ohh i dont mean to be hateful#rheyre still so insanely ugly 2 me the portrsits 😭😭 they just are not up to par#also ngl i think a lot of the changes are like. idk. some of them feel entirely just. lame.#like idk how 2 say this withiut sounding like a bigot whos like LESS GAY PPL but like. the problem with ginger island wasnt. that birdie#was mourning her husband instead of her wife. yk#i also think its just kinda WEIRD t like. age leo up sm. and to make him have a gay thing with sam like idk. i think it was possible t just#have an islander kid. and not be weird abt it.. but idk..#IDK. thats like. hateful. and i do rly appreciate the likee. yk. i appreciate rhe goal of the mod and i find it t be. better than canon#Not that thats hard lord. im just like idk..#i just dk. im rly conflicted on it#i wish there were more like. options t choose from irt to ginger island rewrites yk.#i saw like one other whej i was sesrching but iirc it was like#I LOVE GINGER ISLAND AND HOW IT WAS HANDLED! i just wanted to add MORE <3 and its like. ok man
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mom and aunts were having a reunion with their cousins so i ended up having to hang out with MY normie ass cousins from the province, had a good time though
i wore my new leather jacket outside for the first time, we all had different variations of the same haircut and there was a lot of complaining
#chomikz#yeah thats the life doodle tag now#if you could see us irl you'd immediately know i'm the gay cousin#my dad who's also not allowed in my mom's cousin reunion took us to a bar#he sighed and said cant believe my new drinking buddies are my nephews and my kid#he didnt really say that in english these are all roughly translated from tagalog/taglish but who cares#also i had a queer coming of age movie moment where i was sleepy from drinking 4 glasses of wine#i ended up coming out to the cousin telling me to quit while we were hanging out at a balcony facing the sea at sunset#he was cool with it and i trust hes not gonna tell anyone :D i dont mind if he tells his twin bc i trust him too#but he said he wont tell either#anyway had a good time hanging out i really need to get out more often staying inside and scrolling is rotting my brain#i hope my cousins had a good time too
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probably posted about this before but. just remembered the time i actually had a “thanks i stole them from the president” interaction and like wild that literally happened like i was there i witnessed that moment i was one of like three people who heard that and Understood
for context this was like in 2021 btw
#i love college alfkdkfkdkg#for real though it was great and sooo funny#like it was auditions and one of the auditionees had very cool pride shoelaces#and someone in the group naturally said ‘i like your shoelaces’#and the person with the shoelaces like. had an immediate reaction to that phrase alfkdjg#same tbh#and they so clearly didn’t actually want to say this like i feel like i need to reiterate that it was 2021 at the time#and they sort of just sighed and cringed and said it anyways#which like iconic i love that#like you could SEE the regret in their eyes as it was happening#and like i for sure woulda done the same in the situation like how could you not you just gotta do it when the opportunity presents itself#it’s simply too funny an opportunity to waste#anyways the person who paid the original shoelace compliment realized like immediately after she said it#and it was actually just me and one other person who Understood#which was surprising!#bc it was a pretty widely circulated post even outside of tumblr#and like i go to a hwc so yk most of us were Gay And Online as impressionable youths#ig i just always forget the many varieties of Gay And Online there are#but yeah turns out it actually is a pretty reliable test even nowadays#not that i’m gonna use it seriously but#it would probably work!
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