#also i had a queer coming of age movie moment where i was sleepy from drinking 4 glasses of wine

[chazuramen]

mom and aunts were having a reunion with their cousins so i ended up having to hang out with MY normie ass cousins from the province, had a good time though

i wore my new leather jacket outside for the first time, we all had different variations of the same haircut and there was a lot of complaining

[mrdominohere]

Kicking Down - Chapter 5

Mark got tired of sitting and doing nothing on his office. So he starts thinking of something to do with Roy tonight. He knows that Roy gets to his house 35 minutes after his shift ends. Mark has a key to Roy's house, so he can get in. He stands uo from his desk, and heads to the kitchen. He opens the door to the storage room, where all the ingredients are stored. He walks down until he sees bottles of wine. Mark looks through all of them to see wich one is the oldest. He then grabs it, and leaves.

Mark got on his car with the bottle of wine and drove to a supermarket. There he bought two bags of popcorn. After that, he went straight to Roy's house. And he waited.

2 hours later, Mark had made dinner. He cooked some mashed potatoes with steak and carrots on the side. That's the only thing Mark can cook. That, and spaghetti. Mark had also lowered all the curtains in the house so no one could see inside. A few minutes after he finished, he could hear Roy's car pulling up on the driveway. Roy knows that Mark is there because he didn't think of parking his car somewhere else.

Roy parked his car and went up to his door. He was looking for the keys to his house but he remembered that Mark was in there, so he opened the door. He stepped inside. It was dark.

"Mark?" He yelled.

He heard music coming from the living room. He recognized it. It was Since I've Been Loving You by Led Zeppelin. He then saw the kitchen light turn on, and below it was Mark wearing an apron and looking directly at Roy.

"I made dinner." Mark said.

"Mark!" Roy rushed to hug him. "What about what happened today? Are you okay?"

I'm fine now.

Mark kissed him as if it was the last time.

They held hands for a while while they looked at eachothers eyes.

"Go sit down, unwind, I'll serve dinner."

"Okay, I love you."

"I love you too."

Roy sat on the couch for a while. Mark served dinner, and they ate. After eating, they sat to watch a movie on tv. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly was on. Mark stayed drinking wine while Roy made some popcorn. They the watched the movie together. Half-way through it, Mark thought of something.

"I wish we could do this every day."

"Me too. But, y'know, I really wish we could also--go out. You and I." Roy said.

"You know I'd take you to the end of the world. But we just can't."

In that moment, Roy noticed something in the movie. The protagonists were wearing military uniforms to try and sneak behind enemy lines.

"But maybe we can go out!" Roy said excited.

"What?" Mark asked.

"Look at the movie!"

"I don't get it. Are you saying Clint Eastwood is gay? 'Cause I don't think so."

"No, dummy. They're wearing disguises! We could wear disguises so people don't know who we are!" Roy said.

Mark laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious! You wear a wig, a fake beard, fake glasses, plus some makeup and you'd be unrecognizable!"

"Roy, even if we were unrecognizable, it's too much of a risk. Imagine you start dancing and your fake beard or whatever falls off!" Mark explained.

Roy got on his knees and got closer to Mark. He was desperate.

"Please, please! You said you would take me to the end of the world, Mark! Didn't you? This is your chance. Please." Roy pleaded.

"Okay, okay. Fine, but, where are we going to get the disguises?" Mark accepted.

"I knknow some friends that-"

"Friends?"

"Yes, friends. Friends that wear wigs and makeup all the time. They can help us. We can go tonight, we still got time!" Roy explained.

Mark looked at his watch. It was 8:04.

"Alright, let's go!" Mark said smiling.

"Yes! Okay, let me just make a phone call real quick!" Roy yelled excited.

They soon left in Roy's car to another neighborhood, they stopped at a small grey house. They walked up to the door and Roy opened it as if the place was his. Inside the living room where three of his friends. They wers transvestites.

Roy introduced them to Mark. Josh was wearing a black wig with bangs and a grey silk dress. His nails were painted red. He also had red lipstick on. Ed was wearing a blonde wig, a white fur coat, and a black leather skirt. He was skinny, and carried a black purse. Damian was wearing a brown wig, he had amazing makeup on. He had a navy blue dress on and a white pearl necklace. You could see the hair on his tighs and arms but his style made you ignore it.

They were very welcoming and nice. After all, Ed, Josh and Damian were very excited to finally meet Roy's boyfriend. Ed works as a makeup artist in movies, so he always has makeup and wigs around. They put makeup on Roy and Mark. They gave Mark a fake moustache, made his eyebrows bigger with makeup, gave him fake glasses and a wig with long hair that made him look a little bit like a rockstar. They gave Roy a fake beard, they straightened his hair and combed it to the side. They put a fake scar on one of his eyebrows and made it look like he had a widows peak with makeup. They both looked at eachother in the mirror.

"I look weird." Said Mark.

Roy bursted into laughter. Tell me about it, he said.

They thanked Roys's friend and left. Anytime, they said.

This was Mark and Roy's night, and nothing was going to stop them. They went to a club where queers frequently go to. As soon as they walked in, the felt comfortable. They looked around to see queer people just having fun. Nobody was there to talk them down, or abuse them. A place where you could be you. They held hands and looked at eachother, then they kissed. Mark and Roy ordered some drinks, and afterwards started dancing along with the crowd. They were having fun, the way they wanted to. As the night passed, so did the music, and a slow song came on. Mark was resting on Roy's body as they slowly moved to the songs rythm.

Mark was relaxed and comfortable, his eyes were closed with not a care in the world. This was a different experience, from now on, he wanted this every night. He felt a little sleepy, so he opened his eyes. On the other side of the room, he saw an older, fatter man than him. He seemed familiar. He was wearing glasses, had black hair, and a black beard, wich was odd for his age. But Mark stared at his eyes and saw something. He saw the disguise. The hair, the glasses, they were fake, and Mark realized who that face really belonged to. Behind all that disguise was Ralph Leone.

[garden-ghoul]

fellowship of the bloggening part 2

“I am out of my mind impatient to get to rohan and it’s probably going to take MONTHS I hate this”

Chapter THREE IS COMPANY

Frodo has been dragging his feet, but what’s a couple months after seventeen years? He’s trying to figure out how to leave non-suspiciously, how to not leave at all, where to go, he is all over the place. He’s REALLY excited to go to Rivendell. So he buys a house in Buckland and sells Bag End to the Sackville-Bagginses (ugh!). Everyone thinks he’s downgrading to save money, even Merry, who helped him buy the new house. I think it’s very sweet that in his internal monologue he considers Merry & Pippin & co “his young friends.” Because honestly they are probably about half his age.

‘Whatever happens to the rest of my stuff, when the S.-B.s get their claws on it, at any rate I have found a good home for this!’ said Frodo, as he drained his glass. It was the last drop of Old Winyards. ...

‘Our last meal at Bag End!’ said Frodo, pushing back his chair. They left the washing up for Lobelia.

Sorry I love Frodo being petty to the Sackville-Bagginses (ugh!). So Frodo, Sam, and Pippin set out at sunset, because they like walking in the dark. Cute? As they leave they hear Some Creep asking where Frodo has gone. Secretly a Nazgul, I’m sure. They sleep under a tree and immediately upon waking Pippin starts loudly telling Sam to get water ready for a bath?? Okay is he just your servant, Mr Took? Don’t be an asshole. Anyway the next day the Nazgul passes them on the road; everyone is stirred up. Here we get a lot of loving description of the English Shire countryside and a travelling song Bilbo made up. It’s the one Pippin sings for Denethor in the movies, but it’s rather less serious, I think, than they made it seem by picking the most serious bits.

Then world behind and home ahead, We’ll wander back to home and bed. Mist and twilight, cloud and shade, Away shall fade! Away shall fade! Fire and lamp, and meat and bread, And then to bed! And then to bed!

ALSO he always pluralizes hoof as hoofs, not hooves. argh. So the Nazgul comes back, but is almost immediately chased away by a bunch of elves singing about Elbereth Gilthoniel (presumably it is Song, in the magic sense, because the hobbits can all understand them; I think it’s funny that they’re using Song to amuse themselves while travelling). From this Frodo concludes that they are high elves... but isn’t that Eldar? Elbereth is her Sindarin name, and like... literally all the elves speak Sindarin now...

In any case, he happens to be right, because the leader of the elves is Gildor ben Finrod (hahaha that naming convention sounds dumb with elf names). I didn’t even know Finrod had kids... as I recall his heir was his nephew, Orodreth. Yes I’m just here to pick apart continuity snarls that Tolkien didn’t manage to fix. ANYWAY the elves are kind of jerks, they think hobbits are too dull to associate with... until Pippin asks them who the black riders are, at which point they get scared and invite our heroes to stay the night with them. Only after the hobbits have started to fall asleep do the elves eat. Frodo tries to soak up as much Sindarin as possible (the elves think he’s adorably precocious, I don’t like them); Sam afterward remembers it as “one of the chief events of his life,” despite the fact that he is going to save the world later. Sorry what

A SHORTCUT TO MUSHROOMS

The perfect title for a chapter that starts right after Gildor gives Frodo some truly scary and cryptic warnings!

‘Did you ask about the sniffing?’ said Pippin.

‘We didn’t discuss it,’ said Frodo with his mouth full.

‘You should have. I am sure it is very important.’

‘In that case I am sure Gildor would have refused to explain it,’ said Frodo sharply.

Good old Gildor! I think Pippin’s right, though. Probably the fact that Nazgul can smell the Ring bodes p ill. We also get a bit of a glimpse at why the elf party is one of the main events in Sam’s life; it has totally changed his views on elves, and on the world, in a way he can’t quite put into words yet. It’s so jarring, the way Tolkien treats Sam like a dog one moment and the next “It did not sound like the voice of the old Sam Gamgee that he thought he knew. But it looked like the old Sam Gamgee sitting there, except that his face was unusually thoughtful.” Make up your mind, Johnald. Are servants people, or not?

Our heroes decide (after much arguing) to go overland to Bucklebury rather than by the road, to be harder for the Nazgul to find. Amusingly, one finds them almost immediately but is, I guess, unwilling to get off its horse to follow them down the bank. Maybe the horses evaporate if you get off them, it would be so inconvenient. He’d have to call Mordor for another one, and Sauron gets so mad if you ask him for a new horse.

Our heroes have a talk and some dinner with Pippin’s old friend, Mr Maggot, who unintentionally terrorized Frodo as a lad for stealing his mushrooms. It turns out the Nazgul have been asking around here, too, but Maggot saw them off. He graciously drives our heroes to the ferry, where they find Merry waiting for them, and gives them a parting gift, a large basket of mushrooms. And so the shortcut to mushrooms was being polite and friendly! A shame they cut that from the movie, it’s a nice morel.

A CONSPIRACY UNMASKED

Our heroes make it to Frodo’s house at Crickhollow, where Merry and their other friend Fredegar ‘Fatty’ Bolger have drawn three baths! And they have dinner, including the enormous amount of mushrooms they received as a gift. As an aside, Tolkien notes that hobbits love mushrooms more than anything else. Puts me in mind of badgers or pigs or some other woodland creature that loves to snuffle.

Merry reveals the fact that they all knew all along that Frodo was leaving the Shire, because he’s really not a very good actor. Unexpectedly, they all want to come with! Well, they are young, and they seem to thirst for adventure. Unlike Frodo, who is terrified, they seem to think it’s pretty fun. And yet...

‘But it does not seem that I can trust anyone,’ said Frodo. Sam looked at him unhappily. 

‘It all depends on what you want,’ put in Merry. ‘You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin - to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours - closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo.’

Aww.

So they plan to be away into the Old Forest by first light. Fredegar is afraid, but Merry assures him it’s pretty safe during the day “when the trees are sleepy and fairly quiet.” Woo! Ominous! Are there ents in the Shire? Fredegar promises to wait for Gandalf, while our heroes go into

THE OLD FOREST

I wasn’t gonna do another chapter but this transition was too good to pass up. Merry tells our heroes a little of the history of the Old Forest: at one point it tried to attack the Hedge that marks the border of the Shire, but hobbits made war on it and cut down and burned a great many trees. Since then it has been even less friendly, but during daylight Brandybucks, at least, are pretty safe there. Frodo tries to sing a song, and the forest gets mad at him. Merry is apparently still cheerful, or a good actor.

They gradually realize that the forest is shunting them toward the Withywindle, the “center of all queerness.” Every time they try to veer north toward the road, they encounter great difficulty. Eventually they are forced to go right down into the river valley and walk along the river. But they begin to get very sleepy. I LOVE how Faerie this is. Sam is the only one who realizes something fishy is up, and has to rescue Frodo from being drowned by the tree. They realize it’s eating Merry and Pippin, and when they try to scare it by lighting a fire it threatens to kill them. Hostages! Frodo runs along the path, crying for help, and hears my favorite song in the entire entire:

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Sorry these are just such merry sounds, I love them. I’ve heard some very strange things about Tom Bombadil, though. He sings to the willow tree and it releases Merry and Pippin, and then offers to let them eat at his house as thanks. Y’ALL DON’T DO IT. NOTHING GOOD COMES OF EATING FAERIE FOOD.