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Things I’ve Said: Dishonored (Some Spoilers)

My words *Player/My actions* Character dialogue

I’m beginning to think that Unreal has a kink for darkness, steampunk, and protagonists that work in the shadows.

‘Rat Plague’? Do you mean the ‘Black Plague’?

A water elevator?! That’s pretty cool.

You know, I think I’m gonna recant my earlier statement. Everything is hella bright, and this dude is apparently a Lord.

Aw, that’s adorable. A tutorial in the form of hide and seek.

Oh I like her. A monarchy that actually gives a shit about ALL her people. Also, the title Empress? That’s more badass than Queen.

WTF! That was the quickest game progression I’ve ever been through, those fuckers are defiantly the villians. Who happens upon a murder, sees a man who is obviously upset about the death of his Empress, which I’m beginning to wonder if she was something more to him than just his Empress, and think ‘Oh yeah. He killed her.’

Guard: This meal comes from a friend. Oh does it now? The poisoning kind or the file in the food kind. *A few seconds later.* The kind that know how to hook a brother up!

Are the rats following me? Do I have some kind of connection with them like they help me or something? :D *Proceeds to watch as a group of rats attack and eat two grown men.* Nope, hungry. They are hungry. :(

What kind of black magic BS.

Thanks for the burn mark asshole, also all this power but at what cost. If this stuff is gonna make me go mental, I don’t want it.

Watching me with great interest? Okay, you do you boo.

Granny Rags, you are a delight. I hope I see more of you.

I’m sorry, you can’t be a doctor and have infected rats running around your home. That makes no sense.

Aw thank you Granny Rags, you’re such an angel! Even though you just had me poison most of the gang population.

*Reads graffiti* Not gonna lie, I thought that said send nudes.

Samuels, I feel like you’re the real OG.

Wait, I was just fucking with the mask’s optics just a minute ago. Now you’re physically putting the mask on which would mean I wasn’t wearing it when I was messing with the optics? That’s so weird GamingSins would sin that.

Slackjaw: Somebody put plague in the brew. Wow that’s terrible, I wonder who would do something like that. Now are you gonna help me or what?

First of all, you still don’t know who has it out for you and if you think it’s Granny Rags then I can’t help you there. Second, you said that you would get me into the Golden Cat. You gave me a key to the building beside the Golden Cat. Now I have to go to the roof of said building, get onto the Golden Cat’s roof and then I still have to find a way into the Golden Cat. You are useless to me.

*Looks all over the Golden Cat first before doing the mission.* Upstairs? I was just upstairs and I didn’t..............*thinks about it for a minute and realizes that I didn’t check a room because I thought a prostitute was in there and I didn’t want to waste a sleeping dart.*........ I am such a dumbass.

Excuse me? I just saved you, no way am I going to let you wonder off-- *Emily disappears* Disrespectful little shit.

I am an independent highly chaotic man who don’t need no Lord Regent.

*Kidnaps the physician and then ‘blinks’ my way down to Samuals* Not gonna lie, I feel like I just cheated the game.

Physician: My will is strong. Bitch, I got rats.

Tallboys? That’s too easy. *A few deaths later* Fuck tallboys, fuck ‘em.

I really don’t want to kill this chick, where is the nonlethal mission at? *Does the nonlethal mission and puts Waverly in a boat with a clearly obsessed man.* Maybe this was this a bad idea............... oh well not my problem now.

Emily, honey, I would die for you.

*I was on my 15th time trying to get into the Lord Regents building with NO health potions and trying my damn hardest to be sneaky* Fuck me. I CAN’T. No nonlethal alternative for you bitch.

If the Lord Regent really doesn’t know who I’m at this point, I’m gonna laugh.

I am definitely earning this high chaos rating.

I know I said no nonlethal for the Regents earlier but I’ve got this bitch’s confession tape and now I really want to put this on full blast and listen to his dumbass explanation. So it’s off to the broadcasting station!

*Walks around the party, talks to people and notices Corvo’s vision fading in and out* Corvo, I am so much younger than you and it takes me several drinks before I begin to get even slightly tipsy. What the fu-.........poison. They poisoned you didn’t they? *Scene cuts to the guys confessing that they poisoned Corvo.* You idiots.

Samuals you really are the real OG.

Corvo, Emily better be your fucking kid. Even if she isn’t, claim her as a dependent then get the fuck outta dodge.

I’ve only seen you fuckers (assassins) once when you attacked me out of the blue. Why are you a problem now?

Assassin: We have to watch out. This ones clever. *Me who is done with everyone’s bullsh*t and holding a full whale tank from a high vantage point.* You forgot vindictive.

*Woman tells me about the plague wagon.* Ha! Bring out ya dead! (Monty Python anyone?)

Granny, honey? What the fuck are you doing?

Can I please be done? Like seriously, most of this is not necessary.

*Enters the lighthouse* You know, for once, I would like to enter a place and not be assaulted by an orchestra. Also love the marbling.

Havelock’s diary! What juicy rumors will we read about today? *Reads for a few minutes.* And surprise, surprise. Corvo, you are the father.

*Saves Emily* Emily honey I’m so glad you’re okay! Don’t know how your doing mentally, but physically you look okay! Emily: I’m going to be Empress now. ................That tone you’re using concerns me.

All and all it wasn’t too bad of a game, it just got a little tedious for me towards the end. I did get a kick out of the fact that I was playing a game that had a virus that was very similar that what we have now (not exactly funny but more of an odd coincidence). Anyway, the tally for this game was kinda stupid. I didn’t exactly say this lot but I was stupid enough to say it, so I figured everyone would get a kick out of it. For those that are not familiar with the game, Corvo get superpowers (cult powers? IDK). Whenever you use them, there is a voice that says something (I have a ps4 so the voice came through the controller). That voice scared me.............many times (I really am stupid sometimes). So ladies and gents here is your tally for dishonored:

What did my controller just say? : 25