#which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nomairuins · 2 months

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i literally likw felt sick hust now bc i thought abt gay people and ive just realized as i was about to hit post that this sounds homophobic. it was pure envy unfortunately

#i need to have a gay moment or im going to die in real life. guys its so hard #mfw i never leave the house and im extremely closed off and distant from people and i never talk to anybody and im a shutin: When will i #meet my love.#ITS NOT GONNA HAPPENNN MY LOVE WILL NOT MATERIALIZE INSIDE MY STUPID GARAGE. PUNCHES THE WALL #also you may think connor youre not closed off you literally yap constantly about every single thought in your head. Yes. but thats to you #guys as a whole so it doesnt count #one on one conversations im so scared im like acat hiding under a bed. genuinely shaking crying #BUT I DONT NOT LIKE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS I MISS THEM BADLY. i used to talk to online friends Everyday. and ugh. obvioisly.#i just like. idk. i wanna make friends but i feel like im so bad at being a person that its wah too much work to befriend me #i dont mean that selfdeprecatingly i mean like. i need the other person to make the first moves always which sucks bc thats a bad thing to #expect of someone but if i ever made the first moves i. well i just couldnt my brain would shut down its a whole thing. connor doesnt speak #unless spoken to etc. and again ik i yap on here #but thats bc this is like my diary. dms or discord or whatever Is a conversation.......sigh #but ya. and with time i think id warm up and be able to initiate congersation and reciprocate properly but thats a long time to make someone #wait. bc i also when ppl do reach out i like. im like . like w my old coworkers we were i think friends but i was like Im the only one who #thinks that they dont actually like Me so whenever they talked id be like Theyre just doing tjis to be nice or out of pity #which is a rude thought to have abt someone inknow but its like. idk .. im nonsensical #but it takes me a while to like. actually understand somebody is trying to be friends bc im obtuse as fuck #and im like Well theyre saying hello to me and amiling whenever rhey see me just to be nice or possibly bc they hate me <- stupid guy on 🌎

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