#who are much better artists than i am
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Pressure doodles in school!!
My friends' additions to the doodle page!!!
#pressure sebastian#sebastian solace#sebastian solace pressure#wall dweller#Wall dweller pressure#squiddles#squiddles pressure#the pAInter#the pAInter pressure#holy shizzle!!#its a kiki!!#and a yippee!!#guest appearance from the goobers!!#who are much better artists than i am#drawing#fan art#im so normal about him#why do the kikis kinda look like gnarpy#yay!!!
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Redraw of my first post on this blog. Oh how far we've come B'*)
[Now with it's own redraw!]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Credit where it's due: the first one is from November 2022. So its been a bit longer than the post date implies.#It was always part of the plan to re-draw my first wangxian art at the end of each season#but wow I really didn't give enough credit to the power of drawing every day for the last half a year#I've really loved doing this B*) I have found so much confidence in accepting the fact I'm not a 'non-artist' drawing mdzs comics#I'm a REAL artist drawing mdzs#and this is just the start!!!! I will keep drawing and improving and learning! and I will have a big smile like this every time -> B*)#I'm stunned that so many people found this blog so early on. Despite the roughness of my art...yall saw what I struggled to see#which was someone who was worth it#That and how art really is what you decide it is. I thought It had to be perfect. It doesn't need to be perfect. I see that now#I love you all so much! I am so much happier than I have been in years!#Sorry for being sappy twice in a row I promise tomorrow I'll be your little jester again
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Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
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Happy Birthday Undertale!!! You mean so much to me
#undertale#undertale 9th anniversary#traditional art#first post#artists on tumblr#metaton#sans#sans undertale#papyrus#frisk undertale#napstablook#alphys#undyne#toriel#asriel#monster kid#they mean so much to me and i figured what better opportunity to start posting on tumblr than the birthday of one of my favorite games ever#undertale was basically the reason I found out what tumblr was it made me who i am today
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?
(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)
Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?
I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.
I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.
I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.
#asks#no seriously 2al was by COMPLETE accident#and then it exploded so I kept it going#oh well#also like!!!!#seriously#the people you are probably comparing yourself too#chances are just have wayyy more experience and practice than you#like!!!! dude sometimes it hits me how many of my friends and other “big blogs” are either#1. professional artists who do this shit for a living anyways#or 2. have been drawing digitally for way way longer than me#digital art is still new territory for me so I am giving myself some slack here#that and I have no interest in art for a career#this is just my side hobby!#yknow!!!!#for FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!#and wheres the fun in going#“damn this person who has years more experience than me and draws for a living is... somehow better at drawing than me this is so unfair”#answer: theres no fun in that#but also fr-#I have only been doing digital art consistently (in this style specifically) for.#a year-#deadass.#I have not done much art before all this outside notebook paper doodles#and the occasional once every month or two painting#all this is so new to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im learning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I deserve to give myself so so much slack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I have also improved so much in the past year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oops tag ramble
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Day 2 - Transition. A conversation with your future self. colourless ver. under rm !!
#Trans Jayce Week 2023#jayce giopara#jayce league of legends#league of legends#arcane league of legends#league of legends fanart#transtism real#i have a class early tomorrow soooo i finished this at a . more REASONABLE time today#tonight? idk. whatever. slay#transition#jayce talis#thats who this ! is supposed to be specifically but itse fine it works either way itll do teehee#meowing loudly . the colours on this gave me sooo much trouble#fun pose!!!!!!!!!!!!! colouring makes me murderous#man of progress my ass. man of horrible colur harmonies and unessesary additions to the pallette (looking at you yellow sock)#BUT !! all in all i Guess i like this piece :] itse a more ambitious pose than id usually try and!! other than the legs floating a bit it#has pretty !! decent contact points ect i think so :)#figure studies my belobved youve made me a much better man#i am this close to putting vik + jayce into some sort of artist au thing because autism begs me to mix special interests#viktors the type of freak to learn about sine waves and proper physics terms to properly animate a dress in the wind or something#them working in a studio together? i am crazy. i am insane. autism is overtaking me. im half human and half foxy /ref#shoutout to me for talking so much in thesetags also. stay winning jase nation. if you read to the end of these you get a prize
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tagged by the fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @jimin-gaon <33 here's the december list
apologies for being late again new year same me: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @pauls-mccharmly @thvinyl @visionsofgideontheninth @btsbs @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @eoieopda @monismochi 💜 and anyone else who feels so inclined MWAH p.s. please do tag me anyway if you've already done it
#superfluous commentary in the tags as per usual:#i feel you - ADORE THIS TRACK i can't even explain what it does to my psyche except that it initiates a beach episode.#noso is a phenomenal queer artist and you should check them out#smoke and mirrors - ms faith back in action on the rotation i loved this album in 2009 and it still hits. for the love of GOD take me back#loving you - i am a paolo nutini stan if nothing else. exceptional#love is all around - i am in my frazzled english woman era hence the romcom soundtrack#and tell me who could possibly embody that frazzled english spirit better than four weddings hugh grant#boys don't cry - it's the cure by name and the cure by nature for one listen and i am FIXED!!!#she's always a woman - now billy joel is a great name for a cat or hamster but i digress. the stranger album of the year 2023 (again i fear)#little bird - was annie lennox in the last one?? i still have this on repeat.#googling the lyrics and it thinks i want the jonas brothers and it makes me want to sit right down and cry cry cry i'll tell you that much#jenny - paolo again can you blame me? i cannot express how much i adore his entire discography.#these scottish italians... deadly combination for my mental health. peter capaldi sit down#white flag - dido save me.. save me dido... my jihope anthem because i WILL go down with this ship#eternal flame - banger after banger it's almost as if i made this playlist myself!! can you feel my heart beating??? i apologise#as for the artist list#norah jones and jamie cullum christmas albums on repeat lord forgive me for i have listened to jazz#hozier and abba seem to make it without fail every month. for those who aren't familiar hozier is like if abba were irish. and bitchless.#NOW I'VE SAID TOO MUCH#the rest of the artists are fab of course but does olivia dean know i would die for her?#anyway. insert closing statements#tag#receiptify#MWAH
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society if dc hired a writing team of colour who could acknowledge the racial coding of starfire & raven, explore vic's status as a Black man in modern america who's specific disability further means his body is going to be read a certain way by certain people no matter what he does, along with potentially finding a way to sort through the racisim + fetishization that went into prior depictions of dick's heritage:
#i say team as i think team books would probably benefit from more co-writers anyway. allows for more perspective. also pays more artists.#also i think a prior lack of racial sensitivity on the part of major corporations calls for paid opportunity to- for lack of better terms#because i'm stoned & can't find them- fix the fucking mess of it all#there's so much you could do irt to sociopolitical commentary if you just hired the right fucking people. i'm so over this jesus fuck.#dc#ntt#teen titans#the titans#like and even ignoring that there's so much you could do with the idea of friendships & teams as communities if the job was given to#someone who actually fucking CARED about any of those things.#anti tom taylor#legit if i see anyone on the dash praising it i will lose all respect for their opinions.#this man is worse than every insta poet put together and we could have had SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER.#cis white guys write the most absolute crap-paper worthy at best stories&comic companies are just like ''here go. fuck up even MORE stuff''#am angry#if you see the version of this post with a typo just say nothing. yes my brain was just going ''why why why why'' that hard.
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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periodically people have to be reminded that you should be against these large generative ai models because its aggregate content theft and not because of like "laziness" or whatever
#like yes the arts are wildly devalued which#goes in hand with this push to replace us en masse with ai to cut labour costs#and its disgusting to see#but if someone says its making art accessible to disabled people. and you talk about a guy who learned to draw with his feet#you need to take a good hard look at yourself#it feels bad to encourage the automation of art when in popular culture so much of our work is devalued but#as an artist!!! i am lazy. i use 3d models i trace photos i use custom brushes#sometimes you just aint drawing all that. the Laziness thing is a bad argument#whats bad is feeling entitled to Take the work of others without permission to train generative models!!! thats the problem!!!#just bc you're taking stuff en masse it doesnt make it better than stealing from one person. thats not the same thng as inspiration shut up#i think technology and tools evolve and its cool that I've found thinvs that support me as an artist#its not fucking about the machine learning its about theft how many times do we have to teach you this lesson
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really fuckin sick and tired of feeling like a poorly multiclassed dnd character
#txt#delete later#i am level 1 in 5 things which means#i can do beginner shit in a bunch of different areas#while people who specialize even just a little more#are leaps and bounds ahead#idk i feel like im not even that good of an artist anymore#since my attention split i haven’t been dedicated as much time to learning art#but because my attention is split on like 60% art im not doing nearly enough of other skills to get good at those either#it’s like the most inefficient splitting of attention i could’ve ever gone for#no game dev my site is still not fucking done i haven’t coded no animations no comics#no music (with pain)#and no great improvement in art either now on top of all of this#just feels like i’m losing#but hey ‘better than a master of one’ amiright
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Shout out to that one time, when back in February, i've spend my whole fucking night writting Hazbin Hotel rewrite i my notes, and them never touched it again afterward. Idk if i cooked here of if its all nonsense, but at least it was fun!
#very biased perspective btw#*sighs* and no i do not believe this is objectively better that what vivziepop and her crew came up with#i just think the concept of the show is pretty fun and i would have executed it much differently#there are things worth criticizing this show for#this is not my way of doing that#(btw yes it is a bit of the problem i have with many artists who approched to “fix” hazbin designs)#(even though i did enjoyed them much better than the ogs)#can i...can tag it as hazbin hotel?#i think i will#for the funny#writting ideas ig#txt#also warning a shit tom of grammar mistales#*mistakes#i wrote at like...3 am and english is not my first language sooo#😋
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I know people say youre never too old to improve your art but hoh boy does it suck when burnout has made it impossible to improve as an artist as much as you wanted to in the past ten years and now im slowly accepting im going to feel like a mediocre artist forever :')
#And yeah my art is Ok#better than it was before but like#i am just so disappointed i havent improved as much as i wanted and also having a narcissist father who for years has discouraged my art#journey and he isnt subtle about thinking its a waste and how i should find a better career that gets me money faster#But my guy i am so fucking burnout and just not the brightest of people i am not fit for anything But art#and if i cant succeed in this field literally what is left for me#work some shitty retail job until i die?#literally worst fear#it also sucks bc being stuck in two soul sucking food service jobs in my late teens and early twenties made#trying to improve my art nearly impossible bc i was always so tired and so burnout and ive still felt like this even after quitting idk#point it ive tried but i havent tried enough but i dont have the energy to try more but if i dont try more im just going to keep being#a mediocre artist in my eyes and will never accomplish anything memorable#idk#i forgot where i was going w this but ig im just tired of feeling stagnant as an artist and not having the strength to fix it#Im just tired dude i wanna enjoy drawing again but everything feels like a chore
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I feel like me as a person is still pretty chill like while I have scary thoughts about art but I try my best not to be the type of person my mother was so I look unapproachable but if you approach me I will try my best to be good company because of courtesy and will try my best not to trouble you with my mental problems
#I'm chill I swear#my mom always compared me to a classmate who’s mediocre artist growing up and it made me resent mediocrity so much#why am I depressed why can’t I draw like her why can’t I stop crying WHEN I AM BETTER THAN HER#I have to beg for my moms attention while she praised that girl endlessly for her everything#I hate her and people who draw like her#BUT depsite my extremely toxic relationship with realism art im a good person I swear
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