#someone who actually fucking CARED about any of those things.
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I have someone who comes to groom my dog because I physically can't keep up with it. He's extremely good at his job.
He also thinks Trump isn't all that bad a guy, the Democrats are the anti-human rights party, had no idea the Supreme Court was a thing/is controlled by Republicans and that's why so many human rights are being rolled back in America, refuses to actually use his privilege of having a preferential voting system to not have to vote for the two major shitty parties because he insists on believing nothing good has been done despite numerous proving points to the contrary in his own life let alone others' lives, thinks climate change is a hoax and can't wrap his head around why university studies need to be checked for a donor list and a fossil fuel company supported 'study' isn't reliable actually, hasn't even learned the most basic empathy concept of "you not suffering from a problem other people suffer from doesn't make that problem less important/you should care about people whose lives you don't experience", outright said with his full chest that maybe we should racially segregate the Olympics again actually, and a number of other toxic to downright rancid things I would have just written him off and slammed the door in his face for last year let alone a few years ago.
Don't get me wrong. Talking to him is fucking EXHAUSTING and I feel physically disgusting afterward having to just calmly listen to all these things he spouts which have historically resulted in entire groups of people being targeted for genocide and numerous other human rights abuses when left unchecked and allowed to fester at the societal level.
BUT HE LISTENS WHEN I CHALLENGE HIM.
I can see him actually seeing me as a human being worth listening to. He's older than me and definitely been down way too many right-wing rabbit holes for me to pull him onto the surface any time soon. But I'm giving him things to chew on and hopefully if we're lucky I've planted some seeds which will eventually grow into some semi decent human being plants one day. He's really ignorant and clearly under-educated and that itself isn't his fault and biting his head off isn't remotely going to make up for that gap and is only going to drive him further into the arms of whatever fucked up extremist conservative groups he's been listening to.
He is reachable. He's just also a very long project I only get to work on for an hour at a time every 6 weeks.
And some of the things I've said which I think were part of what got through to him involved showing empathy for him being a single father(? I may have mixed that up with someone else but I think he is) with a disabled kid. He shows empathy for disabled people because he's the father of one (and probably is neurodivergent himself I believe but unsupported and doing his best to give his son the support he didn't get from the sounds of it).
But yeah.
Listen: you don't have to take shit to the face if the person is solely malicious and trying to hurt you. No one is obligated to meet that with kindness and anyone saying otherwise can get fucked. There is a limit to how much bullshit someone can cop while the bullshitter acts like any emotional response to their bullshit is unreasonable/out of nowhere and that is valid on the part of the person copping the crap.
However, if you a) can handle coping long enough to break down those walls with unexpected kindness/it isn't dangerous for you to try that method (VERY IMPORTANT. PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE DETAILS. DON'T TRY THAT ON SOMEONE WHO IS ACTIVELY THREATENING/DANGEROUS TO YOU), or b) can tell it's soft bigotry/general ignorance driving the otherwise yuck things being said, do give the compassion and patient education route a try.
I've had numerous instances of me holding shitty ignorant beliefs I had no idea were actually harmful. The people biting my head off didn't get to me. The people who took the time to see I was just ignorant and under-educated on the matter (and hadn't yet developed the empathy for a group I didn't belong to) taking me aside and patiently dealing with my idiocy long enough to explain things to me in a way that got through my skull (and eventually into my heart as well) were the ones who fundamentally improved me as a person. I still have plenty of things I always have to work on. But I can tell you now I would be much MUCH worse without those patient, kind, educational interventions by people who could tell the difference between malice and ignorance.
The same applies to everyone else.
Human beings are human beings. All of us. Re-humanising each other is the last thing any of the politicians and extremist groups want us to do BECAUSE IT WORKS. IT BREAKS THE WARPED MODEL OF THE WORLD THEY PORTRAY AS REALITY TO DIVIDE US AND KEEP US ALL AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS INSTEAD OF CUTTING OFF THE FOOD SOURCE FOR THEIR WEEDS AT THE ROOT.
When we remind a hurting person that we are a person too, not the bogeyman the extremist groups paint us as, it shakes their warped worldview to the core. It makes them think. It makes them QUESTION. It makes them look at the flower the 'evil' Pride-pin wearer gave them because no one gave them flowers when their mother died and their hate begins to crack at the seams.
The things the world teaches men hurts men too. Teaching them they DON'T have to subscribe to that mentality all the way down to the roots of the patriarchy weed is the best and most effective way of cutting that mentality off at the source. Even if you struggle to empathise with men because you've been hurt; ok, valid. But it is demonstrably more effective, sustainable and long term changing to just get rid of all of it by addressing their pain and showing them how much healthier and happier they can be just in their own life let alone others' lives by casting off the system that hurts them too.
I'm pretty sure I'm just rehashing the same points here, sorry, but the concept of deradicalisation as a healing and long term change tool has been my social justice special interest this year so talking it out helps it solidify in my own head too. (And gives me strength to deal with bullshit because it reminds me it's worth copping what I can personally handle in order to get someone to think, change and grow, one exhausting person at a time).
part of the reason i love how bell hooks talks about masculinity is that she shows real compassion towards men suffering from the effects of toxic masculinity. she was conscious of how we need to unlearn the ways we talk about men + masculinity just as much as we need to unlearn the same for women + femininity. so many times ill see someone talking about toxic masculinity like (hyperbolizing here but only slightly) “these FUCKING STUPID BABY BITCHES won’t MAN UP and go to a therapist!!!” and like. i get the anger. but you see feminists recreating patriarchal manhood by only promoting good behaviors through patriarchal frameworks. any use of the term “real men” is bad because it reifies the idea that manhood is a special title you must earn, and it is something possible to fail and fake. & as important as it is to promote sexual equality + the pleasure of non-cis-men, lots of people are essentially still working with the idea that men need sexual prowess to have worth but just shifting it slightly so there is more emphasis on women’s pleasure. but I want cis men to think about their partners’ pleasure because they care about their partners, not because they need to check a box in order to keep their man card. and don’t get me started on small dick jokes– and the absolutely pitiful excuse people will use that “well, I don’t believe it, but misogynistic men get upset when I say it, so it’s okay!”
basically bell hooks is so fucking right. in order to create loving men we need to love men, simply for being alive, whether or not they are performing. as much as we need to actively unlearn misogyny (and we do), it’s equally vital we unlearn patriarchal ways of seeing manhood. we can’t just assume that taking a feminist perspective automatically means there is no work to be done there.
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One of my favourite things about Arcane is that all the couples can be read as toxic, which is GREAT.
I'm tired of people bringing morality debates into dark media. Let dark media be fucking dark. You guys wouldn't survive a day in the TMA fandom, needing everyone to be as good as gold. How are they going to make for enjoyable complex characters if they're not morally grey. In fact, I wish there'd been more expansion on just how morally black they can become!
"CaitVi is so toxic" According to lesbian statistics, that sounds just about accurate. 💀 Heck, I wish Caitlyn had done more (Not really, but it would have been nice to further explore the darkness in her heart). Isn't it adorable how she immediately folded as soon as Vi called her cupcake? Caitlyn's like one of those villains that will consistently do the most....until it comes to someone else hurting her girlfriend. The only one allowed to hurt her girlfriend is her. 💀
Then let's talk about Vi. Someone pointed out how Vi never cared about Zaun's independence in the first place and many people yelled that they were wrong. But actually, they were right. Vi never wanted Zaun. Zaun was Silco's dream, and Jinx inherited that dream cause Silco would never shut up about it. Vi wanted Piltover to take responsibility for all the shit they allowed to happen in the Undercity. That's a part of the reason she joined up with Caitlyn in the first place. Let's not forget she wasn't dissuaded when she dragged Jayce down to fight with her and he killed a child. Children been dying, it's been her whole life. Someone needed to do something about it, and Zaun would have just isolated the people from all the privileges that Piltover SHOULD have been providing for them. Some people just can't accept that Independence cannot in fact solve every problem, and sometimes independence is colonisers running away from the responsibility of fixing the mess that they started in the first place.
Besides, we all know Vi joined up with the Enforcers because "I feel like I am worthless if I can't be of service." She'd already run out of family members to serve, Caitlyn was the next best thing. She's just like Jayce.
And speaking of Jayce, let's talk about his violent levels of codependency with anyone who'll give him attention. People LOOOOVE to talk about Mel, but it's there with Viktor too. When bro wasn't basing his worth on his inventions, he was centering it around Viktor.
Viktor who decided at some point in his life that he would not LIVE without Jayce. He was fine dying without him, but living without him was unacceptable. Oh how healthy. 🙄😂 Viktor be the kind of toxic ex to threaten divorce 500 times over, then burn the world when you actually leave him. Jayce is no better cause he's the kind of guy to keep going back to his toxic Ex.
Yes, Mel is manipulative. That's what I love about her. How are you guys failing to give this woman the praise of being an outsider in Piltover, but running their entire council. 💀 Girl raises her hand once and the whole government starts spinning. She was the best sugar mummy Jayce and Viktor could ever ask for. She kept the whole city running. Literally the entire of Piltover dancing on her palm. And yes she manipulated Jayce but let's not forget she thought that was a love language. 💀 You wanna be mad at someone, be mad at Ambessa for raising her that way.
I also don't think it's fair to blame her for the Undercity situation, she's not native. Monkey see, monkey do, and not a single one of those Council members actually cared about the situation down there, it was deplorable. 💀 Jayce did way more in his two weeks as Councillor than any of those drug pushing, money laundering, Piltovian heads of government.
And that just covers MelJayVik, we don't even need to get fully into TimeBomb, cause we know what's wrong there. 💀 Surely we have not forgotten the many teammates Jinx has killed, but making sure to never kill Ekko cause that's her man. Ekko has a lot to unpack, like how his consistent and unwavering love for Jinx is an indication of a lot of doors he might not be ready to open. I know they dynamics go crazy and I love to see it.
Ambessa and Sevika are a crack ship but I'm sure we all know bedroom dynamics go crazy with Mrs. Warlord and Miss Liberation. I love it when characters clash in a toxic heap. It's insane and should be explored.
Quit saintifying my toxic ships with your woke morality debates. If you want everyone to be sunshine and rainbows then you should be watching literally anything else. 💀 "It's not healthy." GOOD, I like it that way. 💀 Angst, spice and trauma are the recipe for a plethora of explorative fanfiction. Any of their dynamics can be taken in any toxic direction and I want that EXPLORED.
#arcane#arcane netflix#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#violet arcane#jayce arcane#jayce talis#caitvi#caitlyn x vi#vi x caitlyn#viktor arcane#viktor x jayce#jayce x viktor#meljayvik#meljay#jayvik#timebomb#ekko x jinx#jinx x ekko#ambessa x sevika#ambessa medarda#arcane ambessa#I'm gonna need Arcane fans to quit ruining the opportunity to get dark fics out of all this
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Camera Ready » P*rnstars! Tokyo Revengers x F! Reader » pt. 2
A/N : mmh. This will be inspired around self-made p*rnstars..? Like cam boys and only fans members who then become famous p*rnstars.
Enjoy! :3
part one ! w. toman boys.
-
Naturally, alongside Toman were many other companies that housed great stars, like Bonten, Valhalla, Black Dragons, etc.
They all worked as their own companies with their own stars, rivaling with one another as some stars tend to bounce companies.
And well, while some may have auditioned to become the famous ones we know today, others were self-rising who were then sought out to join particular companies.
Let’s meet some of them, shall we?
-
First of all, our very own cam-boy starter, Sanzu Haruchiyo?
Originally all by his lonesome, he’s one of those typical twitter link boys, who hide their face. He either wears a mask or his camera cuts off the angle of his head as he’s pleasuring himself.
The OG camboy.
Sanzu is the type to use anything and everything, if people make the right donations.
$300? Vibrators.
$500? Anal.
More if you wanted extras, such as bondage, begging, etc.
But one thing he’ll always end up doing? Sanzu is a whimperer.
He’ll be biting his lip as he’s fisting his hand hard and fast, his hips thrusting and the string of whimpers that escapes him as his cum leaks onto his fingers.
“H-Hah.. Hn.. f..fuck.. i’m cumming..”
Gains a large following within weeks, people throwing their money at him and helping themselves to the sexy, intoxicating entertainment he provides every week.
Has thought about bringing others onto his streams, maybe doing something on camera with them but hasn’t really found someone who he wants or is also comfortable with it.
Maybe he’ll ask a fellow camboy/girl or maybe a famous pornstar?
He definitely had tons of volunteers in his chats and dms but he wasn’t about to do this with a stranger, no matter the money they donated.
It definitely didn’t take long for porn companies to start offering contracts with Sanzu, who hasn’t taken any of them yet but who knows, maybe he will.
But for now, Sanzu will always be a camboy first.
Also, favorite position/thing to do, Sanzu loves to edge himself. No feeling like the one where he's just on the brink of cumming, just to stop right before. It gives him such a thrill when he starts up once again.
“Heh, thanks for 500, @delinquentlover. Maybe I’ll dedicate this next one just for you~”
—
Time to move on to our one and only, Kisaki Tetta.
Wherever he signed his name off on to be part of the company, knows what they just discovered in their care.
Kisaki Tetta is a star no man can even dream to be.
Something so.. charming. So mysterious. So intoxicating.
He has the women completely entranced by him, and is often doing threesomes or more, due to the amount of women who beg to be with him, just to feel his touch.
He’s not exactly a gentleman but he’s incredibly charismatic, even though he has such an intense demeanor and dominating aura, he’s soft-spoken and praises, and it makes women weak in the knees.
Kisaki, if he’s not with his significant other, his favorite position is sitting back on a chair, throne of sorts, and watching as the women sit on their knees below him.
Or, he would love to have a woman sucking him off, pleasuring him while another sits on his face, and by god is his tongue a sin to experience.
“That’s right, my ladies~ take this cock.. fuck, just like that.. you’re doing so good.”
—
And now we have the man that goes by, Shuuji Hanma.
Now, i’ve said that Baji from Toman Industries was a beast, but Hanma is on another level.
Any woman who has the opportunity to be involved with Hanma are never the same. And honestly, he never works with the same woman twice unless he deems them worthy and that was quite rare.
Which means all those women are always crawling back on their knees for him, begging to be filled up once again by his monster cock that every viewer gets the pleasure to see on screen.
He’s not actually contracted to one single company, he’s his own man who chooses who, when and where he works and he’s got offers every pornstar can only dream of.
And the way he works? By god, by the time filming is over, the women are unable to even speak, let alone walk. If they had any other scenes, filming was always cut short for the day.
Hanma wouldn’t care, he’d just grin at the state they’re in before heading to his private room to shower and head out.
Pressing his partner against any surface, bending them over while his hand wraps around their neck like a necklace, is his favorite position.
“Oh? You want me to stop? Is it too much for you, princess?~ Heh, why don’t you beg?”
—
Now we have a personal fan favorite, brothers, Ran and Rindou Haitani.
These brothers don't typically follow any rules, often doing what they want.
Kind of flips between camera boys and working in a company, depending on the situation they feel. They prefer more of an official setting over standing in front of a camera live, though.
Most of the women they work with are pretty intimidated because the brothers usually work together, and it can be pretty intense.
Ran is a huge tease usually and Rindou sometimes looks after the woman when filming is finished but regardless of what happens in the end, if the brothers decide to postpone or pack up and leave, the producers can’t complain.
Honestly, ratings have only increased the more the brothers are on camera so what they say goes.
Together, Ran typically takes the back entrance while Rindou takes the front, with Rindou the one underneath the woman while Ran is behind. However they do like having both of them inside the woman’s pussy at once, the sounds of her screams like music to their ears.
Separately, Ran likes to do doggy style, more preferably if the woman arches her back and her face is shoved into the pillow or the sheets, muffling her screams as he goes rough and hard, a grin plastered over his face and feels the woman squirting.
Rindou prefers missionary, surprisingly enough. He seems like such a simple man, and his favorite thing to do is having the woman’s legs up on his shoulders, placing kisses on her ankle while he’s thrusting into her.
“My, what a mess you’ve made.. how naughty..”
“You sound so pretty.. Say my name.. beg me for more.”
—
No one is any prettier than our Seishu Inui.
Inui first began as a camera boy, a lone streamer because someone talked him into it. He didn't think it would do anything, and he hid his face at first, but he was much more popular than expected.
And when he accidentally let his face slip into camera view while stroking himself and tossing his head back, his following skyrocketed.
People loved his looks and eventually he gained the attention of a few companies who took him in with a contract, and Inui was now a pornstar.
A loved, incredible one at that. He wasn't very expressive, even when he's cumming, he doesn't express very much, but he was kind and very sweet to the people he worked with.
Such an aftercare god, wow. Once the cameras cut, he won’t show it, but actions speak louder than words after all, so he’ll hand his partner a bottled water and ask if they’re alright, apologizing for being so rough. <3
Oh, and his favorite thing to do? Inui loves burying his head between a woman's thighs. Gripping the thighs i between his fingers, squeezing them as he laps them up. Having the slick juices of his partner painting his chin, making his face a canvas, is the sexiest feeling alive.
"So fuckin' delicious... I'll never get enough of this pretty pussy.."
—
And last but not least, the guy that does what it takes for cash, Hajime Kokonoi.
Also a camera boy turned pornstar. Kokonoi didn’t hesitate to take the first high offer he was given and he knew how to bargain for a better contract too.
He knows his worth, so if he doesn’t feel like doing something, you know damn well he wasn’t going to.
And the producers couldn’t do jack shit, Kokonoi was one of their best stars. He was intuitive, confident and often knew what was best to film next to bring in ratings and more money for the contract, because it meant more money for him.
Every woman who works with him loved him and he always knew what the audience wanted next, who was the best to work with and used it to his advantage.
Within a few weeks, Kokonoi was one of the top stars in the entire industry, one of the highest paid nonetheless.
Koko's favorite position is cowgirl/reverse cowgirl. Either view, he gets to enjoy the bouncing of a woman's breasts or the jiggle of her ass, and it means he can lay back and enjoy the show.
"Fuck, just like that baby.. smile for the camera, gorgeous, you're live right now.. Bet you like that, don't ya? Riding my cock like the good girl you are. Such a good girl f'me~"
—
a/n : um.. hi i have no words. I feel so bad being on and off again on tumblr. I really just wanna start a new acc lowkey. IM SO SORRY.
sorry these are so short but i hope you enjoy! <3
#tokyo revengers x reader#tr x reader#tokyo revengers#x reader#tr smut#tokyo revengers smut#tr sanzu#sanzu haruchiyo#sanzu x reader#ran haitani#haitani ran#haitani rindou#rindou haitani#rindou x reader#ran x reader#tetta kisaki#kisaki tetta#kisaki x reader#inui x reader#seishu inui#inui seishu#hajime kokonoi#kokonoi hajime#shuuji hanma#hanma shuuji#hanma x reader#haitani brothers#haitani x reader#ran haitani smut#rindou haitani smut
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but my best enemy is you
pt.1!!!, angst, smut, violence, it's a mess
“you're the sweetest” she says, smiling at your flushed face. her thumb softly caresses your cheek.
you lean into her touch, her soft hand on your skin was a feeling which you love more than anything.
“i love you” you whisper against her lips, kissing her slowly and passionately.
“i love you too” her voice is full of love as well as the look on her face, her smile not fading from her lips.
oh, how you wished it would stay on her lips forever.
“you're fucking unbelievable”
“i'm unbelievable? are you seriously trying to blame me?”
“call it blaming, i call it being honest and seeing the truth”
you can't read momo's expression, you can't tell what she's feeling, if she's sad, mad, or just disappointed.
your hand shakes a little, as if you're scared.
you are actually scared.
“i can't”
“we're done”
is she too?
“so just like that? that was it?”
“you're not going to fight for us?”
“you're the better fighter between us, use it in the ring - not in our relationship,”
“or whatever it was.”
“you're an asshole”
“okay”
-
momo swirls the ice in her drink with the straw, watching the fight that's happening.
two men who she never saw before are fighting against each other, it doesn't quite peak her interest.
she thinks it's uninteresting watching them fight - or others in general. they don't have any tension in their fights.
they simply fight to win the money, not because they have a certain history with the person standing in front of them.
basically meaning, momo doesn't care if it's strangers, she only cares when she and you fight against each other.
she knows about the rumors, she knows that more people come into the bar just to watch the two of them.
but she also believes that you don't need to know both of those things, acting cold and like she has no idea about it instead.
the fight ends and everyone but her cheers for the fighters, she turns to the bartender and orders a shot of vodka.
“momo, right?” a red haired girl asks as she sits down next to her.
momo looks at her, nods and then downs the shot quickly.
“who's asking?” she knows.
“jihyo - i'm y/n's trainer” she replies, looking at the ring.
“what are you doing here?” momo asks her, also looking at the ring.
“the same as you, watching fights”
“y/n is actually up next” her eyes widen in shock, not expecting to hear that you're fighting someone else instead of her.
before momo can ask jihyo other questions - the crowd starts to yell and cheer as you enter the ring on the left side.
jeongyeon enters the ring on the right side, receiving a lot of support from the spectators.
momo has heard of jeongyeon before, even fought against her when she first started fighting.
she asks herself who will win.
you're a strong fighter - and the fact that you're not fighting against her makes momo think that you could easily win, since there is no history, nothing that could hold you back from hitting her with all the strength you have in your body.
the referee (again, who's actually just a random guy) blows in his whistle, signaling that the fight is starting.
you block your face with your hands as jeongyeon tries to hit you, moving to the side and hitting her stomach.
jeongyeon looks at you full of anger, as if you'd done something so terrible.
she walks over to you - almost even runs - and hits your throat.
an illegal move.
you gasp for air, falling against the border of the ring, looking up to her being right in front of you.
the referee is too slow, he doesn't stop jeongyeon and she hits another hit in your face.
then your stomach, your side, your chest - literally everything she could hit before getting dragged away by the referee.
you fall down on the floor, blood coming from your nose and mouth.
momo stares at the ring in shock, not being able to move.
what just happened?
jihyo next to her calls an ambulance, rushing to you to check if you're (somehow) alright.
momo slowly stands up and walks closer, a sigh of relief (which she hopes wasn't too loud) leaves her mouth when she sees you sitting up again, holding your head and talking to jihyo (or rather, jihyo talks to you and you try not to pass out).
the medics arrive quickly, a woman with blonde hair gets into the ring and kneels in front of you so she can look at what happened.
jihyo leaves you alone, the crowd slowly relaxes and decides on doing other things than staring at you and your wounds.
everyone but momo.
her eyes are fixed on you, and her.
she can't explain why, but seeing you and her - it makes her stomach drop, gives her this uncomfortable feeling.
“you're pretty” she hears you say to her, to which the girl replies to with a giggle.
she introduces herself as sana to you (a pretty name in momo's opinion, but that doesn't change anything).
momo thinks that she's pretty and nice, she isn't a bad woman.
but she can't help herself to feel jealous.
she has no right to be jealous, but she still feels it. it doesn't matter if she wants to feel that way or not - she is jealous.
-
it has been exactly one week.
one week since you fought against jeongyeon, which led to multiple serious injuries.
one week since you were laughing and giggling like idiots with that medic sana.
momo hasn't been able to stop thinking about it.
she sits down next to you at the bar without greeting you.
you look at the bartender and ask him for a shot of tequila which he places in front of momo before leaving you two alone.
“your favorite” you say, not looking at her. she interrupts you though.
“how are you doing? you looked rough last week” she asks, drinking the tequila quickly after finishing her sentence.
“why do you care?” you ask back, to which momo doesn't reply (or rather - she isn't able to reply).
“what’s up with sana and you?” she says, turning the bar stool so she can fully look at you.
you laugh a little, finishing your beer, “you know, you ask a lot of questions”
she waits for you to answer her question instead of saying something else.
you sigh, realizing she's as stubborn as you often are.
“nothing much. i dont get why you would care, but we're just talking. that's all” you answer.
you turn to her, looking in her eyes, but you quickly look away.
her eyes make you nervous, even after all this time - you still get nervous talking to her.
“if you excuse me, i have to go, was nice talking to you” you say, placing some money on the table as you walk out of the door of the bar.
maybe she's stupid - but she doesn't care.
she walks out of the bar quickly, walking after you.
she sees you walking away, so she runs after you.
her hand grips your wrist and stops you from walking.
you look at her, your mouth opens to say something, but she interrupts you, again.
but this time, she kisses you.
momo pins you to the stone wall behind you, her hands grip the collar of your cropped leather jacket as her lips are on yours.
you're shocked, but you kiss her back anyway.
oh, how much you missed this.
she leaves your lips after a while, salvia connecting you two.
“i don't know why i care,” she starts speaking, her eyes focused on yours.
“but what i know is that i was jealous,”
“seeing you and sana act like we used to,”
“it made me mad, it upset me,”
“she doesn't know you like i do -”
momo isn't a bold person often, but something about today is different.
“she wouldn't be able to fuck you like i do” she whispers against your lips, her hands gripping your waist.
you look at her in silence, her statement sounding not real, like you're in a dream.
you realize that this isn't a dream though.
this time you pull momo closer, kissing her.
“let's go to my place” you mumble in between kisses.
-
everything happens so fast that neither momo nor you can really comprehend what exactly happens.
it's messy and needy (something you always liked).
you sit on top of momo as you’re both making out.
you lean back just a little so your lips part, taking off your shirt.
momo can't help but stare.
it's nothing crazy in your opinion, a simple calvin klein bra.
momo thinks it's so much more than that though.
you're back to kissing her as you slowly kiss down momos neck, biting and sucking, leaving hickeys all over.
you were never this eager for something, ever.
“ah fuck-... i don't know if this is the smartest thing” she whimpers, hands gripping your naked waist, fingers curling into your skin as they slightly scratch you.
the burn you feel is delicious.
“you know i always thought you are a smart girl,” you breathe out against her neck, admiring your work before going for the other side.
“but this is your time to be stupid for once” you whisper, momo bites her lip at your statement.
she pushes you away so she's able to take off her shirt. you get off her lap so you can take her jeans off, being so eager that you're almost ripping them off (if you’d listen closely you would probably be able to hear it).
“come here” she orders, pulling you closer after kicking her pants off her feet.
you're back to kissing her again, opening your mouth so her tongue can explore it.
you can't help but let out a moan when she presses her knee up to your core, grinding onto it.
you push her back down onto the mattress, leaning down so you can place kisses all over her body.
momo watches you, her breath hitches when you press a kiss on her clit over the underwear.
“that sensitive?” you tease her as you lock eyes, momo bites her lip again.
“haven’t done it in a long time” she replies.
you pull off her underwear, it slightly sticks to her because of the slick, making you laugh at her.
“yeah i bet. it doesn't feel as good when you're doing it without me” you comment.
you don't waste your time and shove two of your fingers inside her wet cunt, fucking her in a fast rythmn.
“we should do something like this more often” you smirk, kissing her naked skin.
she simply just nods, moaning and whimpering at the feeling of your fingers inside of her after so long.
you don't wait long, putting another finger in.
momo moans at the stretch, gripping the bed sheets. her bottom lip starts to bleed a little at the pressure she's applying.
“you sound so pretty for me baby” you praise her, pulling your fingers out just to thrust them into her again.
you move your head right next to hers, whispering into her ear.
“such a desperate slut for me, god.. look at you momo” the way you say her name makes momo even needier, clenching around your fingers.
“please” she begs, if you would ask her what she's begging for, she wouldn't be able to answer. her mind is clouded and full of you and nothing else.
“can you take another one, good girl?” you ask, she looks at you, breathing heavily.
“too much-” she moans.
you know how to get what you want with her.
“please baby”
“you're my good girl aren't you? i know you can take it. please, for me” she looks into your eyes, they’re full of lust, full of the desire to ruin momo.
she nods, biting her lip again. if you look closely into her eyes you can even see how glassy they are.
“that's my good girl”
you slowly insert a fourth finger, giving her time to adjust.
momo throws her head back, breath hitching at the feeling.
“you're so tight baby” you tease, slowly starting to move your fingers.
“feel so full mommy-” she whimpers, the name makes you just increasingly eager to make her finish.
you start to thrust into her, making her moan louder and louder.
“i'm so close-” she moans.
“please- let me cum.. god please y/n-” the way she's asking you for permission, how could you say no to that?
“cum for me pretty girl” you keep moving your fingers and it doesn't take long for momo to cum all over you with a loud moan, her breath shaky as well as her legs, breathing heavily as she somehow tries to calm down.
but you don't take your fingers out, looking at her ruined state.
“please” you start begging, and momo knows what you're begging for.
she also knows that she will say yes.
she'll let you overstimulate her till she's crying and sore.
it feels too good to stop.
#feeling silly#twice smut#wlw#twice imagines#twice x reader#girl group smut#momo smut#momo x fem reader#momo x reader#momo angst#momo fluff#twice angst#jihyo x reader#jihyo smut#nayeon x reader#nayeon smut#sana smut#sana x reader#mina x reader#mina smut#chaeyoung smut#tzuyu smut#jeongyeon smut#dahyun smut#twice ff
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The only reason Emmrich isn’t a puddle of grief on the Lighthouse floor the way he should be in his non-lich resolution is because he cheated death - this time. He has a legacy in Manfred and makes peace with the fact that with training, Manfred will be able to care for himself when he eventually dies, but he only got here in the first place by fucking around with the natural order.
The playing field is still even in this outcome between he and Rook: they’re both mortal, and they will both inevitably die, but they may choose a life together that could be prosperous and joyful and all the other sentimental shit Emmrich has yearned for.
If he “accepts” Manfred’s death and becomes a lich, he does actually mourn him. There’s the banter where Davrin remarks that he heard crying coming from Emmrich’s room, which implies that he’s privately confronting those feelings of loss. Some people read this as regret, but I honestly think it’s grief presenting itself in a complicated manner for Emmrich.
Emmrich’s grief in this case is complicated because not only is he dealing with the emotional complexity of grieving a child who isn’t *technically* his child, but we’re adding survivor’s guilt on top of that, and the fact that Manfred’s sacrifice was ultimately his ticket to immortality.
That’s a-fucking-lot to unpack.
Is it any surprise that he’s weeping alone in his room when he thinks no one is around? How could ANYONE understand? WHY would anyone understand? So he hides it away and doesn’t even talk about it to Rook, his partner, and man… that is a slippery ass slope to some wildly unhealthy coping behaviours.
In real life you might see someone stuck in complicated grief become depressed, socially withdrawn, emotionally erratic, fall into substance abuse, self-harm, self-destructive behaviour, or suicide. Complicated grief is a bitch. Because remember - grief is vital: it is personal, but it is also communal, and Emmrich starts out his journey into lichdom by slipping into complex, isolated grief over Manfred’s passing.
So now instead of a regular person, you’ve got an immortal super-mage who can never die dealing with death TERRIBLY. This forms the foundation for his approach to death for eternity. Of COURSE he’s going to be insufferable to Rook. Of COURSE he’s going to take a holier-than-thou “be more careful please” stance without any thought to the staggering power imbalance that exists between them now.
It’s the most tragic, self-destructive ending for Emmrich, framed in a way that’s almost poetically cruel. He’s fucked himself, and he can’t un-fuck himself, and he has to live with that forever. He might be in denial about it for a month, a year… a century - but he’ll get there eventually.
You finally found the love of your life that you yearned for desperately for decades? You will smother them. Burden them. Shackle them unwittingly with your own shitty, shitty insecurity because even though you’re immortal you refuse to accept the natural order.
Regardless of which outcome you go with, Emmrich is in dire need of therapy. Luckily, as a human and not an immortal undead lich, he can do a lot less damage to himself and those he claims to love. But he really does need to work through his issues around his fear of death, his denial of mortality, and his insecurities in relationships, and I think if he stays mortal it’s more likely that in time once the world is saved and he and Rook settle down, he would be open to addressing those things - or hell he might even identify and work on them himself because he’s got the support of his partner - his EQUAL - who will stand by him and help him navigate things however they can.
Lich Emmrich though? He doesn’t feel like he *needs* to. Rook is no longer an equal, they are someone to be cherished and protected like an exceedingly old and rare edition of a book. They lose their personhood in EmmLich’s eyes and eventually become a possession, which should disgust him and he’d deny it vehemently but it’s true.
This is very rambling and badly worded and I’m just spewing random disjointed thoughts without any real point, @aldisobey I really loved this and how insidiously sweet it was. It’s just perfect. Thank you for writing it 🤍
Fuel to Fire
AO3 Link - Fuel to Fire
A gift on this eve! Finally got it to a point where I don't mind sharing. Emmlich content, come get some Emmlich and Rook angst. It's got comfort and warmth and I've been with it too long just take it before I start hating it again. Tagging @emmg you asked for it! (oh yeah and the title is just the song I listened to the most, it's how I'm naming things because eugh naming things how). Technically part two in a series, check out Nascent Blight if you need more.
Word Count: ~3k
Relationship: Rook Thorne x Emmlich, M/M
Full story below because why not
Emmrich paced the room, green flickers of his skull mixing light with the soothing glow of the water’s reflection on the ground. Rook sprawled out on the divan, head back on the armrest, eyes closed, and rubbed at his temples. Peeked a moment at the towering necromancer gleaming soft in the muted room.
“Rook.” Emmrich’s stern tone made him squeeze his eyes shut. The lich ceased pacing and stood near the small table at the center. Hands folded behind him he faced the waters. “That was reckless.”
The Warden was still coated in lingering blight from the Wetlands. He’d meant to clean up and go celebrate the Eruption’s destruction on return to the Lighthouse, but it was all he could do to drag himself here. He could still feel the echo of it. Too close, too much.
He gripped his head, pressed hard as he dared to drive away the thrumming recollection of whispers. Thank whatever luck graced him it hadn’t…his hands dropped. One to the ground, the other his chest. Their pressures had provided no relief. It would fade, always had, should have stopped when they burned the thing, but something of it’s nature let that damnable echo persist. That or a head injury, he’d taken some hits.
He sighed. Slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to glance at Emmrich’s back facing him.
“Had to be done.” Equally stern in a quiet way, exhaustion clear.
“You might have left the matter to Davrin.” A resounding voice. The folded hands clenched, then released, flicked to the side as Emmrich turned round to fix Rook with his hollow stare, “Or Evka and Antoine, or any number of other Wardens in Lavendell.”
“Emmrich,” Rook responded more softly, slowly, but kept firm, “I had my reasons.”
“And?” The skull tilted, frustration snipping, “Were those reasons worth it?” Emmrich gestured towards Rook, everything said in that tone and movement. Today had not been easy for the rogue. Taash had to half carry him back.
“Yes.” Grumbling, he swung his legs off the divan, sat up properly to face Emmrich’s accusations. “They were.” He straightened his back and squared off his shoulders, suppressed the pulse built on his forehead with a heavy blink. “Look. I brought Taash because they can burn whatever comes their way. And I brought you because you’re undead.”
Emmrich twitched, almost imperceptibly, at that. Rook might’ve missed it had his attention on the lich been less than absolute, but the movement sent his stomach falling. He bit at his tongue and rushed on.
“We got the job done alright? Lavendell can thrive. Everyone safe.” He rushed the words. Kept them short. Folded his arms. He might’ve looked petulant, but the wear of the day was too loud. Holes in the sleeves, tears on the sides, slash on the leg, all red stained, all healed flesh below, but memories of wounds. Everywhere.
“Darling. What about you?” Emmrich’s voice shook, seeing more than the evident physical. Undead eyes exposed a roiling of lingering red pain whispers, swirling confusion, exhaustion like a leaded blanket.
“Hmm? I’m already blighted, it was no concern.” Rook shrugged, doing his best to appear at ease. Brush off the worry, confirm the wellness of the situation. They were here, they were whole, they…
“Enough.” A snarl of exasperation, Emmrich stepped closer, seeming ever taller as he approached, “Davrin would have joined us had it been no concern. You brought Taash.” There was finality in the words, a stillness as the simmering anger evened and burned with purpose, “I was there, Rook. Your Warden friends were quite clear on the danger that Eruption posed to you.”
Rook grimaced, rubbed his hands, felt over callus, cut, and bruise. It hurt. He added pressure, focused the pain there.
Emmrich was right of course. The lingering pounding in his head was testament to that. What if the Eruption had sparked something? It felt safer for Taash to be there with their fire. Why put more than one Warden at risk? How many was it if not him? If not Davrin? Thoughts roiling he shrank below that green gaze burrowing into him feet away. Rook realized then he’d gone slack jawed, unable to think of an acceptable excuse. But no. He had made the right call.
He snapped his mouth shut.
“Fine!” Rook growled and stood using the armrest with a stifled groan. Patience worn thin after all the drumming in his skull he put his hands to his hips when he reached his full height and glared up at Emmrich.
He didn’t shout, but matched the steaming frustration, “I knew it was dangerous for me. Alright? But I had to do it.” The words came out through grit teeth, biting back the desire to escalate.
Emmrich drew back. Not a step, but into himself. “Dearest...”
“No, don't dearest me.” It came out like a hiss, and Rook leaned the smallest degree forward, “The Grey Wardens need every last person after all this.” His hands flailed out, gesturing vaguely to the world at large, “After Weisshaupt…” A breath found him. The fury caught on his tongue. This shouldn’t be so hard.
He cleared his throat, kept strong, “My jobs done once we’ve killed those gods.” His hands returned to his temples for a moment to steady himself, applied pressure to calm the beat. The blood flushing to his face couldn’t be helping.
Rook gave his head a shake and looked askance, maker how did a skull appear sad, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Unable to face Emmrich in that hunched posture before him. Bent, mourning, pathetic…no, Rook swallowed. Not that. The necromancer didn’t stand alone. The lean was enclosing him, protective. He dared a glance forward.
The lich stood draping the Warden in shadow like some gilded ribbed vaulting. And Rook, an insignificant supplicant come, with soft flesh aching, stinking of blight. Before a cathedral.
“Davrin’s got a book in the works!” He sputtered before he forgot all of the pieces reinforcing his decision. “Antoine makes such things?” Because it had been the right decision, “Can you imagine things if left to Evka’s hands?” They would all flourish after he did his part.
“You think I’d risk a single one of them?” Voice a hushed whisper of desperation. He couldn’t bear it.
No. The gods died next. No one else.
Tomorrow. His mind kept at a furious pace. A last check on Lavendell. Then Treviso, the Crows had word. He could feel cold sweat on his neck, they might have a location. Almost there. Not much longer now, almost safe, and all at once his legs went weak. Rook sank, barely controlled, back down to the divan. He settled with elbows on his knees, hands holding his head, and stared down at the floor. Could feel welling in his eyes, blinked it away.
“Rook,” Emmrich’s voice was slow, the gentle echo of a creek; water over stones as it traveled through him, “I’m sorry.”
Sincerity. Rook could feel it. Feel his nerves still at the serene appeal, “You carry the weight of every decision. Don’t you?” Not a question, a declaration, and in hearing it, so firmly spoken, Rook quaked.
“You were exemplary today.” Finally. A shuddering breath, a tiny lift, that voice of praise, a warming balm.
“My love,” The words sank deep past the skin, something in the tone kneading them firmly within the chest, past bone and into heart where a soul might sit, “let me help you.” Rook sniffed, didn’t trust his voice, dipped a nod once. Emmrich extended his hand, gestured towards Rook’s head.
Movements small, close, Rook leaned in, but then gave start, bit his lip, froze, “..wait.” He still needed to scour, make sure every speck of blight was gone, that could take awhile for hair.
“That’s of no concern.” Emmrich smirked.
Rook looked up as that comforting palm settled soft on his head. Peered past the linen, memories flashing of that arched brow, those lidded eyes, and met a crowned skull, flickering flame. He’d heard it in the tone.
His eyes went wide, tight pain gripped his chest. That was the cost wasn’t it? But then, he felt his heart beat. There was that…the desire...ever since…
'Rook’s Necromancer. An excellent subject to test how long one could go back and forth between life and death.'
Rook blinked at the perfect, beautiful, loving undead skull staring back at him, the whisper of hope escaping from dreams and solidifying here and now.
“You’re safe.” Rook choked out the words.
Then collapsed. Gone so limp he would have fallen from couch to floor had Emmrich not anticipated the movement and dropped to his knees to catch him in his arms.
They dropped together a moment, Emmrich’s arms a cushioning guide. And once stable, once still, he lifted, held the trembling man close, and carefully settled down on the divan with him. The Warden, for his part, was all snot and tears, clinging to the lich’s robes. His arms wrapped tight around the ribcage as he pressed close as he could.
"Emmrich, it can't…” His voice and body shook, words closing off in the shudder of relief.
Emmrich cradled Rook as tight as he dared, a soft hush drifting from him as he brought calm in his firm embrace. There was no measured breathing to guide the man hiccupping into his cloak, so Emmrich purposefully rubbed Rook’s back in the rhythm of a breath, and with a few extra movements green sprites darted from his fingers. All at once sound was still and calm around Rook’s hearing, and then began the sigh of trees, wind through leaves, in measured cadence to help level the rogue’s racing heart.
Rook almost felt a cool breeze on his skin same as he heard it, and the glow of water and flame mixed like light through the leaves to his eyes. He sighed, then lifted his head, buried it beneath the lich’s chin, felt his final quivers fade as a hum traveled in waves through the bones embracing him, back and forth, kissing skin where it touched, a fleeting doting touch. The beginnings of a smile and easy breath came to him at last.
Emmrich’s voice sounded quiet around…in…where his head lay. The traveling hum returned deep and pleasant, warming the skin where it passed. “My love. To think…you worried over me, to such...” Disbelief mixed with adoration, Emmrich’s voice eased its way into Rook’s waiting ears, pure love. The lost words saying more than any uttered.
Rook was steady now, melting instead of shivering, he clung to that genuine smile dawning on his lips, he could have this at least. They couldn’t take this. Rook tilted his head up to whisper to the air where Emmrich’s throat might’ve been.
“I love you.”
He put his head back down as he felt both of Emmrich’s hands move up to massage his scalp. The room was incandescent with green, the necromancer’s palms the epicenter of the glow. Focused. He plied at the Warden’s head. His movements were rhythmic, the magic alive with a pulse and rippling at his direction.
Rook could feel the echos become sated, the answering ebb of the necrotic channeling a path of release, carrying the riptide tight and rebounding in his skull back out to sea. Ease and push, gentle waves of magic and fingers worked the movements with Fade and physical, gently towing that ache out from the Warden’s skull.
Rook yawned, almost a thrum while in Emmrich's care, “Of course I was worried.” And he stretched in small movements, “You immortal fool.” His voice was low, pining, enraptured by the fool he entrusted with his care. Emmrich didn’t reply, his voice occupied in the ending incantations. Otherwise they kept in silence, the soft green glow encasing Rook’s scalp continuing to pulse, dancing with the shimmering from the tank.
“Darling,” when Emmrich's voice finally graced Rook again it sent warmth flashing through him, “I’m safe.” A rolling delight, the aches and pains losing hold, Rook groaned, toes curled as every muscle seemed to tighten, and hold. Then release.
The magic dimmed. Rook breathed heavy, then slow, then measured, calm. Almost asleep.
Emmrich sighed, his voice an echo that resounded through the room. He took a long laborious moment to take off his crown, and with utmost care placed it on the table behind them. Then, barefaced as possible, spoke gentle, the deep echo private now, tumbling only to the Warden’s ears, “But, Sir Thorne.” He looked down at Rook, tilted the man’s face to look up from where it lay on his sternum, kept his tracing fingers there, touch yearning. “You are most unsafe.”
Rook felt his eyes go hot at the words, if only because Emmrich’s couldn’t, and he could hear the despondent tears held in the lich’s tone. He tried to look away, but that meant leaving that soft touch on his chin, he pressed down into the palm instead.
“I’m sorry.” he twisted his head deeper into the hand, whispered the mumbled words into Emmrich’s thumb. The thumb traced Rook’s lips a moment, but seemed distant, moving further away.
“Those are words, Rook.” Emmrich’s hand withdrew, Rook looked up, sensing the gravity in the next words had been stressed by absent touch. “Please. If only out of love for me. Take more thought and action towards your safety?”
Rook gave the barest of nods, mind rebelling against the gross hope of self preservation. He nestled back down and away from the skull’s sight. Emmrich’s voice grumbled in old exasperation, his hands moving to cradle the Warden’s skull and massage along his neck. “If you remain so determined to put your life at risk I’ll have no choice but to drag you to the deepest tombs of the Necropolis. Seal you there until you develop a modicum of sense.”
“That a promise?” Rook’s voice surprised them both, and had Emmrich been able to feel heat his hands might have burned from where they held Rook. So quick and fierce was the flush on the man, so immediate the reply, it came without thought, driven by something deeper.
He could feel the lich’s fingers dig hard into his skin. Maker he really did want...The skull was staring up and away from him now. But Rook could hear the words resound in his own chest, “Don’t tempt me.” A low rolling warning, like thunder from a storm still away. But Rook could sense the ache, felt his heart quicken at what some choice words might lead to, felt the barest tremor in the hands holding him, but then they were gone. The storm gave way to trickling laughter at the thought.
Emmrich moved to extricate himself from the divan, took extra care to settle Rook comfortably in place. Hummed away the lighthearted mirth as he stood free and took off his cloak, gently draped it over the fading Warden, “Seriously, dearest, you mustn't jest.”
Rook held tight to the lich’s cloak and burrowed into it, buried his face deep in the lapel as he muttered half asleep already, “Don’t tease, you started it”.
He yawned. Felt warm, eased his mind to think of falling quiet, but the shiver of dreams crept up at him. The Fade always awaited, didn't it. Rook bit at his cheek, blinked an eye open to peek out from beneath the cloak. Emmrich was still there, though his back was turned to him now, he had taken to quiet pacing again, fish in the tank following as he glittered in the pale light.
“Emmrich.” Rook whispered.
“Hmm?” Emmrich paused midstep, fish paused midswim.
Rook stifled a chuckle, overcome at that moment with overwhelming adoration. He could ask this, a beaming smile hidden beneath the cloak, eye twinkling from beneath the fabric he muttered, “You once comforted me by saying the lich lords were, ‘Unlikely to visit your slumber’.”
Rook mused, calling back to that first time, that first terror. Emmrich had been so excited to share, so animated when explaining, the first time Rook heard the word ‘Lich’. Ice had taken Rook’s veins then. Fresh terror, new fear, but what emotion did he know better? And what a blessing it could be? His blood ran cold. Something deep in his gut warned him, but he ignored it. Looked long at the lich before him, fish following Emmrich’s concerned sway, and let the prickling sensation thaw, there could be warmth here, “Is that…something…you could do?” He finally asked.
“Oh.” The lich seemed to stand taller, an edge of excitement to his tone. “I hadn’t the time to consider it.” He started towards Rook, came to kneel at his side, put a hand on the cloak where the man’s shoulder lay, head tilting in question, “Would that interest you?”
Rook poked more of his head out so that his lips could be read, voice a hush, “Maybe…if you can, just uh check in?” He swallowed, “That song, it's in dreams…it’s worse…” Emmrich’s hushing tones cut off Rook. One hand going so far as to pull the cloak back up to cover the Warden's mouth and tuck him in.
“My love, speak no further. Sleep. Nothing will dare trouble your dreams.”
“Thank you…you know you can troub…”
“Another time darling. Please. Rest.”
Eyes closed Rook could hear the smirk again, felt a heaviness settle in his limbs, swore he was already dreaming when he heard the warmth in the immortal’s voice holding him, was that a lullaby? And sleep took him.
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society if dc hired a writing team of colour who could acknowledge the racial coding of starfire & raven, explore vic's status as a Black man in modern america who's specific disability further means his body is going to be read a certain way by certain people no matter what he does, along with potentially finding a way to sort through the racisim + fetishization that went into prior depictions of dick's heritage:
#i say team as i think team books would probably benefit from more co-writers anyway. allows for more perspective. also pays more artists.#also i think a prior lack of racial sensitivity on the part of major corporations calls for paid opportunity to- for lack of better terms#because i'm stoned & can't find them- fix the fucking mess of it all#there's so much you could do irt to sociopolitical commentary if you just hired the right fucking people. i'm so over this jesus fuck.#dc#ntt#teen titans#the titans#like and even ignoring that there's so much you could do with the idea of friendships & teams as communities if the job was given to#someone who actually fucking CARED about any of those things.#anti tom taylor#legit if i see anyone on the dash praising it i will lose all respect for their opinions.#this man is worse than every insta poet put together and we could have had SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER.#cis white guys write the most absolute crap-paper worthy at best stories&comic companies are just like ''here go. fuck up even MORE stuff''#am angry#if you see the version of this post with a typo just say nothing. yes my brain was just going ''why why why why'' that hard.
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#controversial slightly radical political take incoming#im so sorry but i cant stand the 'vote blue no matter who' crowd like yall are the reason why we are in this mess in the first place#pushing unpopular centrist genocide supporting candidates and then acting shocked that they lose and blaming liberals not voting-#when republicans would NEVER push a candidate as far left as biden and hillary are right and thats why they keep winning#and acting like committing genocide being a red line to not vote for someone is a bad thing be so fucking serious#they would vote for someone who supported the holocaust in the 40s as long as they called themselves a democrat while doing it#the fucking tactic of vote for our guy because the other guy is ~worse~ instead of giving people something to actually care about#ISNT WORKING OUT SO WELL HUH who would have thought#genuinely that is why bernie made it so far in 2016. because he made people hope that things could even start to change.#and unfortunately trump also did that for his base. and even more unfortunately. the dnc saw that and stomped it out. and then THEY lost.#fear mongering fascism to people watching protesters against genocide getting beaten by cops under the administration youre pushing#isn't exactly that convincing. sorry.#like yeah. we need the majority in the house and senate for sure. but president wise? you cant convince me there is a 'less' evil option#like how dare you even insinuate that after all that has been done in these past nine months tbh#i think its the fucking sugar coating that really pisses me off more than anything#like. you do not have to make biden out to be a good man in any way just to make trump seem like a bad one. thats already established.#youre voting for evil. either way. just accept it. there is no 'less'. trying to absolve yourself from that is what pisses me off.#and 'voting blue no matter who' is what got us all here in the first place. convincing ourselves that here is a less evil in every situatio#sorry. im done now. i just hate seeing all those guilt tripping 'well now you HAVE to vote' posts on my timeline.#politics
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"reblog for something lgbt to happen to you" at this point i'd be grateful if something straight happened to me
#bluebird.txt#i'd love to stop feeling like an unlikeable freak!!!#i get it i'm gay i look at least like a lesbian and at queerest as Some Thing I'm Not Sure How to Gender#but like. damn bro!#not even anyone? at all?#first of all i get no attention from girls and there's barely any thems (and im friends with most of the thems)#secondly not that i want the attention of cishet men but as i said before i'll take fucking anything to feel something#the most i get from cishet men has been laughing when i run because im late to class or a concert#like okay wow you find someone just running funny? i pity your entire brain#i think im just bored#its not like i understand romantic stuff any more really#i understand it on a logical level i think#but tell me why when i find a girl i have a huge crush on the SECOND i just need out platonically with someone else#the girl evaporates from my brain#and when i make the attempt to put myself out there and be like hey wanna go on a date?#all will to actually go on the date also evaporates?#she hasn't answered and that's an answer so im like alright even if you texted me late i actually do not care if i never see you again#not in a malicious way!!! just in a very bland you have not made a meaningful impact on my life way even though you seem cool!#which doesn't sound much better but trust me i mean these factually objectively not personally meanly#i have other friends mostly cis friends who have gotten guys after them and as much as like most of those guys are at best#a little annoying and at worst sort of creeps#like. THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED TO ME EITHER!!!#when i walk alone on campus esp when it's dark i do worry about assault and rape and stuff#but that's just the statistics and stuff#i know i'm not immune but in a weird way not being liked by anyone at all gives me reassurance that well#at least i'll probably never be assaulted at least not any time soon bc no one's ever looked at this (me) and had any kinds of#attracted thoughts#though that's definitely a false sense of security#after all someone could decide they hate transgenders and gender ambiguous people and assault me of course that could always happen!#i don't think it's likely to but. you never know!
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People find out about shit I’ve put up with in the past and are like “how did you not punch this person omg” and I just need to explain one thing to you about me. I can store up things indefinitely if I have to. I am capable of rational thought in even the most insane of circumstances and if I decide it’ll be infinitely more satisfying to get back at someone at a later date when I’m more coherent than to yell at them now, by God I’ll do it
#this post brought to you by my stepdad asking ‘how did you not rip him [friend’s ex] a new one’#because i knew it wouldn’t have done any good. i knew she’d have sided with him over me and i wanted a front row seat to his downfall#and now; 4 and a half years later; i’m about to have it. it’s called playing the long game#back in 2020 he was playing checkers and i was fucking terraforming the earth okay#i have the level of self control and patience you only see in people who have been masking their entire life#and also spent their teenage years repressing homosexuality#(yes i did do both of those things)#it’s also the fact i have a tendency to stutter and cry when i get in arguments and i hate it because it ALWAYS leads to me losing no matter#how good my points were#not to be all ‘i have a long fuse but it’s attached to dynamite blah blah blah’ but i mean.#so instead of arguing back i just store up whatever the person did so i can do something psychotic to them later#is it toxic? probably. do i care? no#my dad was also a master of this. if anyone cares#i just think why get in a fistfight when i could help someone sue you#a black eye lasts what? a week? legal costs take a fucking long time and a lot of work to pay off. just saying#don’t piss off people with good memories who treat holding a grudge more seriously than their actual job#personal
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#still not over the insane george orwell post that got reblogged onto my dash yesterday#i unfollowed the person who reblogged it#because either A) theyre a tankie or B) their criticial thinking skills are sub-fucking-zero#like 1) the OP of that post was just copying Hakims awful video on Orwell#2) to read animal farm and come out of it with the interpretation that Orwell was saying that the animals and hence the proletariat in the#USSR were just innately unintelligent shows a reading comprehension so bad its not even like piss poor. its piss impoverished#3) if a post is like ''also look X said Y Bad Thing'' without providing any of the context as to where that quote comes from theyre likely#being deliberately mishonest. it is easy to take someone out if context to make it look like they were saying something they werent which is#exactly what the OP of that post was doing. they took one sentence of Orwells writing on the nazis and Hitler to make it look like Orwell#thought Hitler was a swell guy when actually Orwells writing was about the dangers of charismatic tyrants like Hitler and their rhetoric#the entire thing was about how Hitler was able to amass such power and popularity and use that to his advantage#not every despot is so easy to pick out as dangerous or so easy to detest. hitler was hardly the first charismatic tyrant in history#OP also conveniently left out the fact that like the next sentence is orwell being like yeah no i would fucking kill this man which wow#thats a glaring omission. imagine if people decided to look up what OP was refetencing to verify irs veracity#4) OP does not mention that Orwell fought in La Guerra Civil alongside communists and socialists and anarchists etc.#he fought against the nationalists. he took a bullet to the neck during the fight. he was very much against francisco franco and his fascist#regime who were allied with Hitler and the Nazis#mentioning orwells participation in the spanish civil war really undercuts any of those arguments#5) you know who was actually allied with Hitler and Nazi Germany? STALIN#at the beginning of WWII the soviet union and nazi germany were in alliance. stalin and hitler did not have fundamental ideological#differences. if hitler had not betrayed stalin the soviet union would not have joined the allied powers#your uwu anti-fascist communist idol joseph fucking stalin was joseph fucking stalin. he was a fascist dictator whose actions deliberately#caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. he like vladimir lenin before him did not care for the ideals of marx#marxism leninism is a meaningless political ideology#the soviet union was not a communist paradise. neither stalin not lenin cared about the proletariat#i said this in my tag ramble yesterday but if you want to see a leader who actually followed marxist ideals go look up thomas sankara#im just rambling in the tags today to get out the lingering frustration i have
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eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.
#little rock.txt#venting#self harm in tags btw#anyway. wow i hate intrusive thoughts.#like great guys. it's so cool that the way we're deciding to spend our time is constantly thinking about ways to hurt myself#oh wow stabbing myself with a knife someone left on the counter? so original. never been seen before#oh starving myself?? even when my lovely friend made us a whole dinner?? that's lovely. wow. not even a little bit rude#standing in traffic until someone comes and hits me? at least that wouldn't damage my fucking car like your other ideas!#taking something sharp to my sunburns for a two-birds-one-stone thing?? i guess you're making the best of the circumstances#like jesus fucking christ Grow Up. am i fifteen goddamn years old again#like if we're being So real the consequences of actually self-harming Far outweigh the benefits so i'm not at any real risk#(i do Not want to deal with the fallout of 1. cleaning those wounds 2. confronting my housemates with active self-harm#they actively do not deserve that happening to them)#(hi guys btw sorry. i'm fine)#but that just means i'm sitting here like. so are you gonna be productive or....?#like i had plans of what i wanted to do with my brain power tonight. was gonna write. maybe clip a stream. and we're...?#oh just sitting on my laptop playing music too loud bcus if i could hear my own thoughts it'd be a nightmare? neat.#jesus christ can i be a normal goddamn person for like fifteen minutes and get out of this anxiety spiral. it's been over 24 hours.#whatever. like at this point it's fucking whatever. if i can't drag myself into being productive i'm just gonna go to bed.#“opal is being mean to yourself really going to help” i don't know. i doubt it. unfortunately i am in the mood to be a bitch#and the only person who deserves to deal with bitchy opal is me. so.#anyway if you read all of this uuuhhh sorry. i am like this. but hey. thank you for caring
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cuntboy-official
bad kepler takes? im listening
Love that you knew exactly who I was talking about.
Because I am stuck waiting for the dishwasher to finish I will post my Complaint untagged but I want people to know this was solicited. I'm not trying to provoke people with different interpretations.
Basically to each their own, and I know my read of the character trends toward the unsympathetic, but I am bewildered by assertions I see regularly that Kepler was broken up over or even fazed by Maxwell dying. When Jacobi gives his heartfelt eulogy, Kepler is making snide comments about only attending the funeral for the food. He complains about his hand ("Big deal. I just lost command of this station. I just lost a hand.") but noticeably does not complain about losing an entire human being. In Dirty Work once he realizes Jacobi is pissed about Maxwell's death, his response is incredulous: "After everything you've seen, you're still not over -." The idea that someone might still be grieving about their friend and teammate being shot in the head is so wild to him that he is blindsided by it.
And it's important that this is the case, because that's why Jacobi turns on him. If Kepler had shown any kind of remorse or sympathy, I honestly don't think Jacobi would've defected. Even at the very end, after Kepler has let him get puppeted around for two weeks and is allegedly cool with wiping out and replacing the human race, Jacobi is still willing to let him come crawling back if he would just say sorry. Belonging to a group and being part of something is important to Jacobi, and Kepler not turning a hair over Maxwell dying indicates that they were never valued as much as he thought they were. ("You treated me like one of them".)
I do think Kepler gives an atrophied fuck about what happens to Jacobi, albeit not enough that it does either of them any good in the end. But I do not think he gave much of a damn about Maxwell beyond her value as an asset, and tbh I suspect the feeling was mutual. Jacobi was there because he values group membership and validation. Maxwell valued the resources Goddard could provide; she didn't need pats on the head.
#cuntboy-official#replies#Kepler has spent an unspecified amount of time deliberately making himself into someone who doesn't care about other people#and sees them as handy buttons to press and levers to pull#and it takes one of those carefully calibrated tools going 'fuck you' for him to go oh uh#is that a human being. what do you do with those again#and then he's rendered himself unable to answer that question and dies for it among other things#but even when he is taking those tiny last baby steps of like.#acknowledging that people may have actual feelings#he Still does not indicate any kind of regret over Maxwell#idk I know si5 evil found family is popular but I am more amused by a triangle with t he sides of#fucked up vaguely homoerotic and lopsided whatever the fuck THAT is#besties#and two people who dont' really care if the other one lives or dies but are being professional about it#so you know. regular coworkers mostly#the one rebuttal here is him pulling out the stops to rescue her that time she got trapped in the lab#but imo based on how he reacts elsewhere this was more bc he needed her to control hera#than bc of personal feelings#wolf 359
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The more I think about the story through Daeran's pov the more insane i go. btw.
#on so many levels#the whole courting Elluin itself is already bonkers as a choice#nevermind the actually falling for him thing despite him spiraling mentally the entire time after act 3#(not beating the actually sweet allegations with that one I'm afraid king)#but what im mostly crazy about is like. you know the mask motif ellu has? how he's a lying liar who lies?#and like. Dae knows. Hells the Spark achievement happened when elluin tricked those cultists into killing eachother#he's seen him lie and deceive OTHERS time and time again#even if he is apprehensive- which honestly i can't tell if he is he's too good at not letting me understand his feelings -#he probably doesn't think too much of it until perhaps. it affects him?#aka the encounter with liotr .#that. i dont care about you (lie) quote that has been spinning in my head ever since#he's SO good at lying- acting- that even someone that close to him- someone that expects it- can be convinced of what he says#it's such a huge red flag if you think about it because well#when can you ever know if he's being truthful? You can't. He hardly knows how to be himself!#to then have threshold happen. Dae pov you've just proposed and he's said yes. All is well. to then see him walk toward that edge#and AREELU IS RIGHT THERE. THERE WAS NO NEED. this was something he did because he planned it#and you can only look back and realise how many things he did and said were cries for help in disguise.#wonder if it couldve been prevented if you noticed but it's far too late now#even if we take trickster multiverse into account and find a version of the story where ellu could've been talked down#what happens afterward? i imagine it'd be different if he was talked out of it early vs while On That Edge#just. what a fucking situation to find oneself in. what a person to choose to court. Daeran i need to pick at your brain#even if everything HAD worked out perfectly fine Ellu's .. not exactly the kind of person that would fit well in any royal setting.#which may be part of his appeal to Pissing Off The Rest Of The Royalty- The Character- but still. long term how would they make it work?#im frothing at the mouth if only i could write canon characters AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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#anyways im still mad today but its not lingering in my head like it was yesterday#thank fucking god for that lmfao#the more i think about it the more i realize that theres really no reason to be that upset bc yeah it sucks to lose#someone so close to me like that but......she was not afraid to give me red flags even when we were in a good place#and tbh this felt like a huge neon sign screaming get out while you can#and if the other girls we were friends with want nothing to do with me after this i honestly really do not care#i didnt see them often anyways and the one is basically still a teenager who drove me nuts 95% of the time#and the other 2 dont get into drama at all so i doubt they feel any type of way about me considering neither of them are that kind of person#im more annoyed that she did this right before we had plans for one of the girls birthdays and i have a feeling thats not happening anymore#i keep wanting to ask if were still doing anything but i would actually rather die than see b so..........no thank you#even if they do say anything ive already made other plans for tomorrow so......oh well#i feel so much less insane when everyone says i didnt do anything and its scaring me that i keep thinking back to the time era she accused#me of saying shit during and im like ???? i dont remember saying that. did i say that?? did i say you shouldnt have had your kid and i just#dont remember??? did i say we hang out to escape him and i just dont remember???? and all i can think of is false memories and a situation#where someone else said those things to me in that same time period. anyways i dont know why anyone would remember that specific of wording#if it wasnt to just be used as ammo later. but i genuinely dont remember saying any of that shit esp not that recently?????#and b is ungodly great at gaslighting and she also takes shit at face value and doesnt seek further info if shes not doing okay#so im just.....yeah im taking this as my sign#and to eliza from february.....bitch did i say any of that because i do not fucking remember it#self
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“employees are so lazy! people in america don’t want to work anymore!” actually we work our ass off, but your complaining and our unlivable wages make it insufferable.
#oh but we just need to work harder to do better for everyone#no. i am sick of it#every time i go to work? 95% of the time i am disrespected by customers.#4% is older men flirting with me#and that 1% are the customers WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE US AS HUMAN BEINGS AND TREAT US WITH COMMON FUCKING DECENCY#i got by someone ‘You should smile more!! everytime i’m here you always look so miserable’#buddy. do you wanna know *why* i look miserable all the time?#most of my coworkers and my manager noticed this but sometime during and after covid was when people stopped caring#people used to be so nice. what the fuck happened?#ALSO ANOTHER THING I NOTICED#ALWAYS FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON ITS *THE OLDER GENERATIONS*#i mean of course theres always those few people who are closer to my age. but#its always the older generation for some reason.#bc ive almost never had someone whose closer to my age treat me with that amount of disrespect#no bc why are you as a whole adult who is supposed to be a role model for the younger generations yelling at me for something#esp something not in my control#yall complain about how we dont have any respect and yet yall dont even respect me?#grown ass adults. GROWN ASS ADULTS#brother i am barely into my 20s. why are you yelling at someone whos at least 3 decades younger than you#okay thats enough of that#kazzy caws
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DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die
He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.
And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.
Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.
What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.
So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.
The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.
A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.
That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.
"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"
And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.
"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."
"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"
Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.
Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#joker#danny refuses to die#not again#at least this time he gets to make it funny#the bats are mostly confused#is he a meta?#but what kind of meta just... cant die?#what?#cork writes#cork prompts#just silly thoughts
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