#esp something not in my control

[gongedtornado]

“employees are so lazy! people in america don’t want to work anymore!” actually we work our ass off, but your complaining and our unlivable wages make it insufferable.

[karda]

the innate horror of google earth

[bamsara]

I love Arson he's my favorite heater but I should really get a cheap laptop one day so I can leave the house to write because the Noise. Is . Too Much. I need to go write in the forest

[airenyah]

i need to talk about this line here for a second, because it's an attack on me personally. but not the english translation of it, no, it's the og thai line that really gets to me. because he says:

มันโอเค​นะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]

he specifically uses the term มีความรัก which is more like "to be in love". which means rather than "it's okay to love", this line is more accurately translated as:

It's okay to be in love.

and as someone who really really really struggles with self-acceptance for my own romantic feelings for others, this distinction is really important to me. i can deal with loving others. i love my family. i love my best friend (you really don't go here but hiiii @magsimags i love youuuu 😘 (i know you're rolling your eyes reading this as usual)(i don't care)(i love you)). i love my other close friend. i love my summer camp gang. i love my friend that style reminds me of. i love each and every single one of the friends i've made in this fandom over the past few years (you know who you are 💖). i KNOW it's okay to love. i do it all the time. loudly. as evidenced by the fact that i just HAD to tag my best friend in this post to publically tell her i love her even though she really doesn't care about my thai blorbos, just because i really couldn't NOT tag her to tell her i love her. anyway. i can love. loving is fine.

but to be in love??? that's a whole different story. having (in my case romantic) feelings for someone feels like a heavy burden. it feels humiliating. i hate it. i don't want it. it stresses me out. and the person i have feelings for especially can't ever know about it. see, i will talk about my crushes/romantic feelings, but mostly to family and friends (the better they know the person i have feelings for, the harder it gets for me to admit to it), and even then the word "be in love" won't ever come out of my mouth in my native language. in english it's easier, but in my native language i just can't say it. it feels heavy. it makes me cringe. being in love is horrible.

so when style said "it's okay to be in love" specifically? that was a punch to my gut. because this is a truth i have not yet managed to accept for myself. and if the person i had feelings for specifically told me "it's okay to be in love" so firmly and so earnestly? yeah, i would crumble too

[freakinator]

thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)

for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him

another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is

regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)

another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment

how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another

[velvetjune]

occasionally get hit by how much I love saga and casey’s relationship. casey being a part of the family, saga investigating on her own to find casey, them supporting each other even in the questionable reality around them, telling each other jokes the entire time, being in sync with their little coffee drinks. love them

[milfbrainrot]

to be completely honest i think the biggest thing that holds me back from making ocs is i focus so much on difficult dynamics that no matter how i envision a character, there's some type of offensive way it could be interpreted and it just... stops being fun. of course you need to have some considerations for avoiding blatant stereotypes but it rly does hold me back from developing anything out further bc it feels like everything i go to make is tainted and Problematic TM.

[cultofthepigeon]

i wonder if the lack of files on the night hunter will be remidied soon?

[badolmen]

I can fix him*

*bad writing, underutilized gameplay mechanics, characters with unfulfilled potential, funded by bootlickers

[autistic-katara]

ong can’t believe my great grandmother was part of the group of jews first learning to control the weather 🙏🙏🙏

[moe-broey]

Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.

[end-orfino]

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

[lesbiansanemi]

Realizing I can no longer make jokes about being unmedicated. Damn 😔

[communistfries]

Up at 3 am overanalyzing video game characters

[a-trying-writer]

(hohu fic.)

From the erratic heart beats, and the way she was tossing and turning on the bed, Maison used his lure to place his hand on Cat's. She jolted and turned to him with widened eyes, before she soon realized what he was trying to do.

She took in a deep breath, shut her eyes, and closed her fingers around his to hold tightly. With every slow breath she took and exhaled, her anxiety would wither away.

With her heart beat now settled, Maison leaned close to Cat, and used his free hand to plant it against her chubby cheek. He understood how difficult it is to live with anxiety, and being the #1 REALTOR, he knew how to help his special buyers. But he had to admit, Cat is one of the ones that can be hard to convince that everything is all right.

Perhaps it was her trauma that made her feel this way. She probably feels like she will lose him. Lose one of the few friends she has in her long life.

But Maison found it rather irrational to think about. Still, he laid beside her, and held her close to his lure.

When she fell asleep, he stayed beside her. It's not so bad to lay like this, he thought.

[bookishjules]

having a solid and reciprocal relationship with the kids you babysit is insane bc they will have no qualms about calling you out (or at least asking if everything is okay) every time your tone apparently slips into something unintended. like i have never been more aware of just how often i sound angry when i'm literally just talking..