#anyway coming back to thk:

[airenyah]

i need to talk about this line here for a second, because it's an attack on me personally. but not the english translation of it, no, it's the og thai line that really gets to me. because he says:

มันโอเค​นะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]

he specifically uses the term มีความรัก which is more like "to be in love". which means rather than "it's okay to love", this line is more accurately translated as:

It's okay to be in love.

and as someone who really really really struggles with self-acceptance for my own romantic feelings for others, this distinction is really important to me. i can deal with loving others. i love my family. i love my best friend (you really don't go here but hiiii @magsimags i love youuuu 😘 (i know you're rolling your eyes reading this as usual)(i don't care)(i love you)). i love my other close friend. i love my summer camp gang. i love my friend that style reminds me of. i love each and every single one of the friends i've made in this fandom over the past few years (you know who you are 💖). i KNOW it's okay to love. i do it all the time. loudly. as evidenced by the fact that i just HAD to tag my best friend in this post to publically tell her i love her even though she really doesn't care about my thai blorbos, just because i really couldn't NOT tag her to tell her i love her. anyway. i can love. loving is fine.

but to be in love??? that's a whole different story. having (in my case romantic) feelings for someone feels like a heavy burden. it feels humiliating. i hate it. i don't want it. it stresses me out. and the person i have feelings for especially can't ever know about it. see, i will talk about my crushes/romantic feelings, but mostly to family and friends (the better they know the person i have feelings for, the harder it gets for me to admit to it), and even then the word "be in love" won't ever come out of my mouth in my native language. in english it's easier, but in my native language i just can't say it. it feels heavy. it makes me cringe. being in love is horrible.

so when style said "it's okay to be in love" specifically? that was a punch to my gut. because this is a truth i have not yet managed to accept for myself. and if the person i had feelings for specifically told me "it's okay to be in love" so firmly and so earnestly? yeah, i would crumble too

[cryptfile]

᪇ꫭ dreamseeker, [ qimir x jedi!reader ]

summary — it all started when you find out he’s alive.

warnings — pure angst, violence, blood, mentions of injuries and tons of tension, sfw.

side notes — 4k+ // English's not my first language so please be kind! went slightly away with this one so would catalogue it as an alternative universe. Heard liking without reblogging makes you fall in an awful curse that breaks my heart in the process so let that sink in, anyway everything it's appreciated!,,, thought about making an +18 second part? dunno,,, thks also for the 110 followers! love you guys sooooo much *heart avalanche*

The air's hot in the room when you woke up.

The sweat made the sheets stick to you body as you got out of bed for the third time that week, a terrible headache forming as you leave the dormitories in the middle of the dark. Coruscant suddenly feels unbearable. You've slept almost nothing through the course of the week, so you surely are in a bad mood when the cold wind of the night makes you shiver at the sudden change of temperature.

I'm searching for you. Even in my dreams.

The words are repeating in the back of you head, scratching a part of your brain while you keep on trying to remember who's voice you're dreaming so much lately.

It's all connected somehow, always is. You've learned to trust the force a while ago, learned that destiny's intertwined with an energy field that holds the galaxy together the hard way, so you know, deep down, that you have to trust your guts in this one, something that you know it concerns you but can't quite understand what really is in the first place.

Dreams. Dreams are a cruel thing that you tend to forgot sometimes, the reflection of the mind and soul projected like a high-class transmission in your head. Dreams talk, and they make you think about things you've let in the past, things you've certainly need to come back at some point.

That's why you can't sleep later, cause you know it means something. You know that dreaming the very same dream every single night for the past week means something more than just mere imagination playing around, far from an innocent scenario.

The temple is silent at night even when the city outside seems to be so wake in contrast of the inside, most of the lights out as you crossed the empty hallway hoping to avoid anyone, cause you know they'll ask questions you don't have an answer for.

In all truth, you don't have a clue why are you up so late, why this deep voice kept you awake when you should be deep in your sleep, dreaming about something more than superstitions. You don't have an answer to any superior, don't seem to have an answer for yourself either.

The Jedi trials ended long ago, yet, you don't think of yourself as someone as successful as Yord Fandar, your talent being far from what it should be expected. You never complain about anything and never would, they were the only family you ever knew and you refuse to lose everything you've been working so hard for just for questioning your bare existence.

"Can't sleep?" The male voice makes you stiff almost immediately, checking your surroundings to notice Master Sol approaching you from the left. The Jedi Master catches you by surprise, your hands already on the lightsaber that is hanging on your waist before you notice you're safe, even when you don't want to talk. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

There are things that are worth hiding, but with Sol? Master Sol seems to see through it all, the worries and the dreams that you don't know if you should call nightmares, even when you try to lock them away for a minute. That's the main reason the man stares at you, cause you expel that smell of desperation, the tension in your muscles as you don't sleep in what seems are ages.

"What's troubling you?" He asks, your own eyes betraying you as they can't hold the weight of his gaze. "I know it's not my place to ask, but are you sleeping well lately?"

"Not really, but nothing to worry about" you say almost afraid that it's going to get you in trouble, the lack of sleep making you think the most stupid things as you stop in the middle of the hallway, making sure there's no one around more than Master Sol and yourself.

Not sleeping is a dangerous thing when reality tends to become a feverish version of itself.

I'm searching for you. Even in my dreams.

You're unsure of telling him what's really going on, unsure of trusting the people you've been close your whole life out of nowhere. A sudden sixth sense that commands you to keep the dreams to yourself, the sound of the male voice you've been listening like the most important secret you've ever hold account of.

It's almost embarrassing to admit you don't trust a Jedi above your rank, that your sixth sense all of sudden makes you keep the truth when it can be something important, when Master Sol has been like a friend to you after all those years of training.

Things have been weird since your Jedi Master was found recently murdered in Ueda, a heavy weight in your shoulders as it saddened you more than you even expected. Master Indara was like close family, and you find yourself missing her, mostly in moments like that when you wish you have someone to talk to

“I was going to the dormitories” Sol explains soon after, walking by your side. “I needed to ask you for a favor my dear friend, and I’m afraid I cannot wait much longer for you to heal.”

Heal. Are you ever allowed to heal? It’s been less than a couple of days since you found out about Indara, let alone the dreams that were tormenting you the rest of the week and suffer the loss, so it seems funny when Master Sol tells you he cannot wait much longer: No Jedi ever has time to heal.

“What can I do to help?”

It’s all it takes to leave Coruscant after, trapped in space in a small ship with not only Master Sol, but Yord and Sol’s younger padawan Jecki Lon, strange enough, also with Verosha Aniseya, a former Jedi you keep an eye on through time passed.

Suddenly you’re traveling through the galaxy and there’s no time for any more tears. Suddenly you need to toughen up and act like this Jedi Knight you’re supposed to be, even when you keep questioning yourself more than ever.

Maybe it’s because of Indara’s death. Her decease came so out of nowhere it shocked you to the very heart — It’s clear that you’re sensitive, dreaming stuff you’ve been getting tired of deciphering, pure nonsense, but then, the ship lands in Khofar and Sol it’s convincing you to stay inside even you’re perfectly capable of taking Verosha’s twin and his alleged master.

It’s your own mind that plays tricks on you, making you believe you’re not good enough to help. Truth is you felt your training as a padawan was not enough, you’re an easy target now that you’re hurt and it seems to make sense when all of sudden the group of Jedis leave you to fucking rot between white walls and buttons that sparkled.

It’s clear you’re affected. How can you not be affected by it? You’re overcome by sadness and anger both mixed together, and that feeling by itself is a dangerous one when in history, makes people question things too much to the point of no return.

So when you find yourself close to the light of the hologram that you turned on being so bored in the ship, your fingers dim between the white and blue rays as you wondered: Is it honorable to seek for revenge? Is it true to a Jedi to feel this gut-wrecking wrath?

You know the answer deep inside. You know it’s wrong, yet your feet think otherwise, cause when you leave the ship in the middle of the night you still debate yourself if you should disobey, if you should do what you want instead, walking through the woods like you know which way to go.

You never disobey any command, so it’s a new thing to openly doubt about the judgement of your superiors, to walk in an unknown planet despite the orders you were told. The path seems to light by itself as you can sense it in the air, the force conducting you in silence as you walked in a fast pace. You know deep down, know everything went wrong.

The blue light of your sable is enough to light the way, the humidity in the air makes you sweat as concentrated in the sounds of the nature, you run, run until your lungs are burning and your heartbeats are so fast you’re afraid the organ itself is going to jump out of your chest. You run even when the long leaves of the plants hit you in the face, when your legs are getting cramps and you can feel the lack of oxygen: The pain is not enough to stop you.

You can hear it from far away, the heat of the fight. The sounds of the physical effort, the buzzing of the lightsables against the silent night. Adrenaline creeps across your blood flow, and even when you can't breathe properly at all you run to the chaos, driven like a moth to the flame. You let the force conduct you as you close your eyes, jumping and elevating from the floor enough to hold the sable from over your head — You attack.

I'm searching for you. Even in my dreams.

It’s coming again, the rough sound of your dreams when your blue sable hits the red out of nowhere, force colliding against each other as the impact is enough to send you directly to the floor. You know who the enemy is, the surprise in Jecki’s face and the disapproval moments after

The stranger is fast and he doesn’t hesitate when he strikes, it’s fast enough to hurt in a mortal way and you became aware of it when Jecki’s falling to the ground and the acid in your mouth is enough to make you look away — The anger comes moments after, the red stains blurring your vision as you let out a scream, gathering the force to dodge his deadly attack.

It’s for Indara, the young padawan, and the Jedi’s he just slayed like they were nothing: It stings in your soul yet you stop holding back, stop holding yourself to finally hit harder, to strike faster than he does, to hurt the stranger as much as he hurted you. And he responds, but not fast enough to beat you, cause you let the metallic back of your sable hit his head when he’s kneeled on the floor, and you smile to yourself cause you have no damn mercy when his helmet finally cracks and it’s enough to break apart revealing his face.

It’s all it takes then. All it takes to froze you in that very spot, holding the sable over your head, ready to end his life with no second thought.

You know that face. You know it when suddenly he’s smiling at you.

I'm searching for you. Even in my dreams.

It makes sense soon after, lowering the sable to the floor without fully believing it, a ghost in front of you as you feel the air leaving your lungs. Drinking the sight of him like he’s not real, like it’s a sick joke your mind made to break you down, to make you weaker.

You’re pulled by a sudden force, by the force. However, falling to the floor hurts way less than seeing him again, the words stuck in your throat unable to speak. It’s imminent, it’s devastating when the pain catches you by surprise, your back aching against the rough surface.

He’s going to kill you, isn’t he?

It makes sense to die by his hand. The memories you two share, the intimacy that was taken away so sudden, it only makes sense to die by the one you loved before, even if it's a surprise you'll never recover from.

The heat of his red lightsaber against your neck is not enough to scare you, but enough to finally look at his face, to encounter his eyes and reveal the truth that was hidden all along between lies. You experience the intensity of his gaze, how it softens when realizing you're looking at him with that same look you have been doing it years ago.

"You're alive" it slips away from you before even noticing, the sound of your voice wrapping him in a haze he didn't expect at first, to be so devastated by you even after all the time resenting the Jedi's and everything they represented "Qimir you're alive..."

He knows you're shocked, the sound of your voice piercing in his ears as he threatened with the weapon against your neck, any sudden movement would slice you in the second — "Hello to you too."

He's real, when he speaks out loud you know he's real, he's standing in front you erasing all the theories you made about not sleeping enough now making you delusional, he's there, standing ready to kill and take what he wants to feel like he won.

It's a personal vendetta, you know it as you expect any answer, any word at all until Sol's screaming as he's taken away from you once again.

He's not a friend, he's not the Qimir you once knew, and he's not someone you can trust again as he was ready to kill. He's not was he used to be, and you can tell by the way he moves, the way he goes against Master Sol hoping to leave the Jedi in the floor, his anger when he refers to his acolyte as a traitor.

He's the one responsible for Indara's death indirectly. He's not a lover. He's not a friend.

You think he died years ago, never really understanding what really happened to the bright man you met in Coruscant, a secret no one dared to bring up. He has the same fucking smile you know too well, the one that make you crumble completely in the sight, and it sadden you, it saddens you he take that path when you seem to woke up from whatever has you nailed to the floor and finally run to help Sol.

You believe you're in the right side, you've been taught about the light and the dark, and you put your heart out filling your mouth saying how you're doing good, how you're making things right.

It's kill or get killed. It’s clear that Qimir does not seem to care about any connection you shared before, hurting you no longer means whatever it meant before, and as the sable burnt your tight, no one cares when you're fainting in the floor, abandoning the fight when it approaches his end.

Sol's mad, but it's not enough to make the master stop to check if you're alive. So many lives were lost in Khofar, and the fight was so demanding you're soon forgot in a planet when the sun is finally rising.

You know you've always been alone, know the last time you saw your family you were too young to even remember, so it's not a surprise when you're left behind. Jedi's come and go, that's why they keep training them generation after generation — It's expected to lose some percentage in missions.

What's not expected, it's when Qimir is close to your cold body later in the early morning. Still deep induced in the fever of pain when he's betrayed by his own heart, his old feelings resurfacing even when he made sure to bury them in a hole in the back of his head.

He's weak it seems. And he should be ashamed of himself when he's the one carrying you back to his ship when everyone has left you behind.

I'm searching for you. Even in my dreams.

Is that his voice? The rough sound that makes you wake up in a uncomfortable place with clothing you don't remember owning.

You're confused for a second before realizing you're in unknown place, a cold breeze shivering your skin: You're in someone's house, using someone's bed.

It's all it takes to make you stand up, leaving the warm sheets behind as your eyes scan the place looking for both a person or a way out. There's a saucepan in the fire cooking slowly, and a smell you can't describe at first.

You move carefully, theories in your mind about what happened that seemed so imposible. You're sure you're far from Coruscant where you should be, yet, you don't feel much danger when you discover you're left alone in what it seems to be a cave, one that lets a windy current enter through a slit between the rocks.

You're unsupervised: Does that mean you're not a prisoner?

You remember fainting in the cold surface of Khofar, the humidity in the air as the air leaves your lungs before entering a state of unconsciousness. You remember Qimir as a ghost in front of you, smiling like he's young again, trying to get to your room in the middle of the night as if it wasn't forbidden.

Was that your dream about? A warning about the stranger being alive?

You don't dare to drink the water, you don't dare to touch any belonging more than the necessary when inspecting. Its more of a hiding than a home itself, so it lacks of belongings as you can't find anything else more than your clothes, protecting yourself from the cold air.

You're not treated as a prisoner, yet you don't feel any safe at all due to the recent events that seemed to say otherwise. You cannot seem to find your sable, and the silence it's making you lose patience.

The cave is a mess soon after, you're searching for your most important weapon, so now the lack of it seems to make you nervous. You search until you're no longer alone, a new presence in the cave as you adopt a pose of defense.

"Where's my sable?" you ask to what it seems the air, acting all tough before noticing who's the person that dragged you to a different planet, the responsable of healing your wounds with a unexpected speed. You know who it is from before, the change in the cave when he's around even when you don't receive any answer back "I'm talking to you, Qimir."

He doesn't talk when he's tossing it over the things he brought from outside, the orange details in the heavy metal shining against the dim lights of the cave. He knows you are not leaving without it, that you're too attached to it for your bad luck.

"Where am I?" you ask soon enough. At this point you lack of patience out of all, you're tired and your body is sore, you're still dreaming that very same thing, and you're not resting enough to keep your mind sane, so it's not a surprise when you're demanding answers, after all, you wanted to know what happened back in Khofar.

It hits you how much you miss him now that he is in front of you in full silence, not in the middle of violence like before, how much you wanted to hug him until he no longer breathes and spat something stupid as a not-very-funny joke. You miss him after all those years of believing he's death, that he disappeared out of sudden without telling nobody, not even you.

The silence makes you mad, and the stranger knows it, sense it in the force when the anger hits you, filling the air of the cave that feels small even when the spaces are big enough. He lied. That's all you can think of, he lied and never bothered to tell you he's alive after suffering his departing so whole heartedly.

Nights without sleeping as you let the insomnia carry you to a state you can't leave, overflowed by feeling you've learnt to deal with in the pass of time. Time heals it all they say, but it just makes things more bearable, help you live with it.

But now. Now it was cruel, it's a wound that opened by itself with the things you saw, the person he was now, embracing his dark side like it was something worth celebrating.

"Talk to me," you say, and you don't know why you're the one asking for answers when you shouldn't. "This is not fucking fair."

Fair.

"Nothing's ever fair," he says, and the sound of his voice is enough to make you shiver. Now that you're surrounded only by the crashing sound of the waves hitting the rocks outside, you can hear him without the buzz of the fight. "Your people know that very well. You make the rules after all. You decide what's fair in the galaxy."

It's a knife in your heart. You don't want him to affect you like he does, but it's impossible when it stings like a burnt from the sable, the weight of his words, the hatred on his tone when he spits the words like they're acid in his tongue.

"I've never made nothing" it's a declaration of self-hatred at it most, how you've not been capable of doing much even when you pride on being called a Jedi Knight. "You know that."

There's no response. You're used to follow orders, not question, trust you're working with the correct side, so his look is something new, something that leaves goosebumps on your skin.

"You're alive," you still don't believe it at first, now studying his factions like they were still craved in stone back on your head. "After all these years, you couldn't tell me you were alive?"

It's a bad joke, one that makes you laugh leaving a bittersweet taste in your mouth — "You couldn't tell your best friend you were leaving? Nobody talked about you all of sudden, you became a dream. Almost making me sure you never existed at all."

"That's what they told you? That I leaved?" the way he's telling the information makes you furrow your brows in response, trying to make sense of what he was saying: Was he implying they lied to you?

"Please, explain me then" you're not in the mood of fighting, instead, you want information, crucial information to what you were choosing to be "Enlighten me. Tell me why you left me there without saying goodbye. Why it doesn't seem to affect you as much as it affected me."

The stranger has grown cold. He has now adapted beneath this rough amour that separated him from what he was before. So he doesn't give you any answers even when you question him, looking at you without saying a word.

You've changed too. You're not the little padawan that followed Indara around and look up at Torbin, you're not afraid of showing your force anymore, after all those years he has told you you're more than capable of defeating any enemy, you are starting to believe it more that ever. Even when he's not around to see that change happen in front of his eyes.

He's not going to answer, he's not talking nor giving you what you needed.

"Am I prisoner?" you ask again, another question added to the pile.

"Does it look like you're being held?" he asks back, squatting close to the stove in the fire to the stir his soup. "No. You're not my prisoner."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. He always was a man full of pride, but now it seemed he thrive in it, in sharing his knowledge he was sure it was so powerful he needed to take a pupil, some kind of dark padawan he wanted to train.

"I don't know you anymore Qimir," you state out loud, hoping to talk to him as a long-time friend, as the person he was in love all those years but never acted on it too afraid of the rules at first. "I don't know who you've become, and i've been mourning you like it's only yesterday you vanished from my life, yet you've been alive, plotting against your family."

"Family?" he asks, hurted by the words you choose. "I've never had a family. You know that very well, it was always me against them, against anyone who questioned their power, their use and knowledge of the force."

"So is that how we are going to act now? Like pride is enough to make you leave and act like we were never a thing? That I wouldn’t die for you without even question?" you seem disappointed as you speak — “Why you didn’t kill me back there when you had the chance?”

He's taken back by your words, the sincerity as you admit what it seemed impossible to say back then. It’s known by him the feelings he had for you were enough to stop the whole galaxy, but he never had the courage to say something about it, to go against the rules and let alone admit to you anything at all.

So to know that you care for him, even when you talked about it like it was in the past, is enough to make him short-circuit, to make his face change in a new look.

“You already know why I didn’t kill you” he says it so casually while cooking, that even when you stand in the middle of the room trying to think about anything, anything more that him and his powerful gravity that made you spin around him, drawn by his pulling force — “Doesn’t matter who you stand with, i’d never do anything to you.”

You let that sink in. You let him say it cause maybe, deep down, it’s what you need. Your eyes are full of tears but you don’t want to let any single tear roll from your eyes the second you feel the sadness, you don’t want to show any weakness whatsoever, anything that will make you look less than what you really are.

“I could ask you the same” he says soon after, looking at you from over his shoulder in a low voice that sends shivers down your spine “Why did you let me live back there?”

It’s a bruise in your ego, to your sense of defense — Walls up, not letting any feeling show at all. His question is left out in the space as you look at him through narrowed eyes, reminding yourself he’s the enemy.

He cannot have the satisfaction. He’s the one behind Verosha’s twin sister after all, the one who send her to seek her own revenge. You know you should kill him with no second though, to cease with the leak, destroy the rebel cause that was so dark and powerful, so dangerous, but as before, you can’t hurt him by any chance, too attached to the enemy to even think about using the force against him.

Qimir. You don’t expect him to be alive, to be so angry at his lies. You don’t expect him to be the threat to peace and tranquility you’ve been so warned about.

Fuck that. You can’t deal with him again.

Maybe you are a coward after all, not worthy of being called a Jedi Knight. Always too unsure, questioning if you’re doing things the right way.

It’s not your fight. It’s not your place to be, you’re not his prisoner so you reach your lightsaber quick enough to leave his side, holding the weapon against your bare hands as you leave the cave, facing the daylight and the ocean in front of you.

You're not his prisoner, so you quickly leave as soon as you can leave, unable to hold his gaze anymore, to answer a question you shouldn't be asked. Even if it's cold outside, the sun still shines and you are sure you're going to find a ship that will take you out of there, as far as possible — Maybe, even leave him there.

But when you walk, you're followed close by in silence. Not a prisoner, but not free enough to leave free whiningly.

Even when you pace fasten enough to try to leave him behind, it seems like it's not a physical effort to follow you near by, to follow the same footsteps you give in order to look for a way to get out.

What's his plan anyway? Follow you forever? He's going to get tired soon enough, the problem is you don't have the patience enough to wait for it, you can't wait for Qimir to be enlightened by mercy, to be rational, to let you leave so you can be as far away from him as possible.

So at any sudden sound, you happen to snap, to turn on the sable in one swift movement, quick enough to pull it against his neck, almost touching his skin, the blue light reflecting in his pupils as he seemed pleased by your attention.

That's what he wants in the end. Even if it's anger, he wants to get any reaction out for him.

"Stop following me around" it's a knot on your throat, a sting in the heart as you threat him, the sound of your voice almost mixing with the loud crashing of the ocean. "You said yourself, i'm no prisoner."

He can sense your anger yet he's devastated by what you've become, devastated by finally being in front of you. Even when you're hesitating to spare his life once again, he's driven by the smell he was so caught on before, the memories you brought, attacked by the lonely life he was forced to live, the perks he enjoyed embracing his dark side.

It seems like forever, an eternity while the energy just flows, while the tension consume you both.

You're caught in a spiderweb you cannot get out, cause when he opens his mouth to speak again, you don't expect to make your world tremble that way.

"I was searching for you."

You know what's coming next, the sound of his voice like a recorder playing over and over in your head, the vibrations of his tone matching the ones you've been dreaming about lately.

"I was searching for you. Even in my dreams."

It's enough to make you lower your sable.

To make the stranger smile.

my masterlist

[candor-creator]

"haha yeah, i'm not nearly as worldbuildy-theorizy with hk. i mean, it's pretty fleshed out as is, haha!

anyways in all official artworks ghost is holding their nail in their left hand, plus the art of broken vessel shows their nail sheathed in a way that implies they would retrieve it with their left, AND the hollow knight, while lacking a left hand, DOES cast spells with their left and summon void tendrils with their left as PV, both more complicated feats than fencing. now the thing about this is that handedness is genetic, which, given that every living vessel is left handed, implies that the odds are HEAVILY skewed, meaning that PK is likely either left handed or ambidextrous himself. now the INTERESTING thing about this is that we KNOW that it's not just PK contributing to this genetic trait - because, as it turns out, HORNET is RIGHT HANDED, meaning that Herrah is a rightie and that the White Lady is a leftie. I personally like ambidextrous PK because of symbolism in writing - OH and that reminds me, speaking of genetics, we can also determine based on the similarity of the body structure between Hornet and THK- where are you going come back"

(followup linked here for those who begged me to keep talking)

[hurlumerlu]

@delicatebeauties your tags sorta inspired me so... uh... here's a thing?

More flies with honey

a short THK fic (AO3)

The restaurant’s bell chimed its light, cheerful greeting, and Fadel didn’t even feel the need to look up. He knew who it was chiming for.

There were many conclusions to draw from that, none of them good, but the two hours Fadel had spent arguing with Bison had left him too tired to argue internally. He set the self-recriminations aside and abandoned the register.

"I suppose sorry, we’re closed will not –" he began. Stopped.

Style… well, Fadel wouldn’t know how to describe the guy even on the best day, but this time he had, apparently, decided to accessorize. There was his usual get-up: the beaten sneakers, the well-worn, comfort-first pants, a predictable – if exceedingly garrish – acid green and hot pink crop-top… then there was the rest.

Style walked up to the barstool on vigorous tiptoes, the clear imitation of a high-heeled catwalk. "I was out thrift-shopping with the girls," he proclaimed, doing a little spin before reaching the seat. Fadel had no idea who the girls were supposed to be, but Style always did that, always referred to the people in his gigantic social circle as if Fadel knew them too.

As if Fadel was part of his life.

"And we had a bet on who would wear these bad boys best." Playful jazz-hands, showing off the red, silky gloves that flowed from Style’s fingertips to the crook of his elbows. They were custom made, clearly, and for someone whose ring finger was longer than most: the fabric diped a little where Style’s too blunt nail couldn’t fill it. "I won, obviously, so we decided to complete the ensemble." He flicked at his birdcage veil with a wink, then let his hand rest on his throat, where laid a golden cross necklace. "Don’t I look great? Very femme fatale."

He had said those last two words in the self-satisfied way he always spoke english. Fadel considered pointing out it was actually french, and decided against it: the idiot would just brag about being polyglot. Style didn’t need his input anyway.

"Then Koi told me" – he pitched his tone higher, in what was without a doubt a terrible impersonation – "you should go see that man of yours, see what he thinks of all this, and I told her, Koi, you brilliant, brilliant woman – oh, we should send her a selfie!"

Fadel plucked the phone from Style’s grasp and turned to put it high on the shelf.

"You’ll get it back if you behave", he said, to prevent all protest, and tried to ignore the stage-whispered that’s so hot that resonated behind him. Somewhere in the neighborhood, some lady he had never met thought of him as Style’s man. Fadel slowed his breathing.

The other had finally sat down, and was looking at him with his chin propped on his palm, waiting for – oh.

"Why are you wearing make-up?" Fadel asked, knowing that was exactly what was expected of him and therefore the last thing he should have said. Worse: Style’s joy made it worth it.

"Thank you!" He exclaimed, like the question had been a compliment. "None of them would lend me their mascara, but May said one couldn’t be truly fatale without lipstick. What do you think?"

"It’s not your color."

"Oh come on." The pout probably wasn’t intended to be provocative, was probably just a pout, because Style had never been that good at coming off as seductive. "I was just fishing for compliments, dude, you don’t have to be honest all the time."

Fadel shrugged. He hadn’t been honest.

He handed Style a beer.

A bad move that would inevitably be read as an encouragement, but Style wasn’t a man you could get rid of with a cold shoulder. He wasn’t, mounting evidence suggested, a man you could get rid of at all. You had to hunker down and weather him. So Fadel handed him a beer, and watched his fingers, in their elegant red sheaths, open it on the counter. Watched his painted mouth welcome the bottle, his eyelids fluttering shut in appreciation.

Under the neon’s lights, the golden cross seemed to glint with every swallow.

Style put his drink down with an exagereted sigh. "Thanks, I needed that." Behind his veil, his fox eyes had blinked open. They, too, were watchful.

He leaned over the counter, and Fadel couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward as well. Style smiled up at him.

"Now ask me what a girl like me is doing in a place like this."

"No," Fadel said. His voice was coming out wrong, too soft, too low. "I won’t."

"Why?"

Because, Fadel thought, I don’t believe in love at first sight.

Because Bison wants so badly to be a real boy that he’s letting some smarmy fuck lead him around by the nose, and that means I can’t.

Because I should know better than to find you too good to be true.

He was still leaning forward, the cold metal of the counter warming under his hands. If he touched Style’s lipstick, it would ruin it.

"What’s the point of asking, when you’re only gonna feed me lies?"

[scrumptiousstuffs]

hi scrumptious! (back in the days when your name wasn’t displayed i always remembered you as scrumptious so im just calling you that way, sorry sueee lolol)

let’s go to delulu land! im building this opinion since khaotung said he loved first as kant, and how he always says that. Sometimes i think is just his way of trying to say to first to act more like kant, i don’t know how kant is but just by the trailer i can say he is very into physical touch and maybe khaotung is just craving this. First already said that khaotung never let go of his hand when they were filming, holding even when were screamed “cut”. At the same time, i think first is afraid to be much touchy with his bestie and casually fall in love (they already are) he seems like someone who will hold his feelings and never do anything about it (when it comes to liking his bestie friend who is also his coworker). And khaotung, by saying all this stuff waits to first do something so he can react and loose himself in him.

im really delulu, i feel like they are just like akkayan in some aspects but maybe thats just me. tell me your insights about all of this!!!

Hello anon!!!! I see we are becoming even more delulu 😂.

But I don’t blame you, THK era has highlight even more how our boys are so sticky with each other (for the lack of better term).

From the boys casually sitting on top of each other (as evident by the many BTS videos/photos taken by others) to their Polycat concert shenanigans plus Jojo pretty much giving up and saying “I don't know what to tease you two about anymore” during the THK wrap up party; clearly these 2 are no longer as shy in displaying their close relationship (and I'm all here for it!) - so, I'm not exactly sure what you meant by KT craving more touch (from First) because it seems they are already all over each other (highlighted even more so with the recent THK Press Tour! - so adorable!!!!).

I also mentioned in a previous ask that when these 2 are excited/can't control their emotions/feel comfortable with their surroundings, they really do treat each other bodies like an extension of their own. The casual touch and gesture with the other party just accepting it is so fascinating to me (cause I'll tell you now, I don't even like my own family members touching me most of the time). I am also taking the opportunity to shout out to Joong/Dunk being FK adopted sons (or if in Dunk/Khao case, the latter being everyone's sunshine baby to the point even the THK admin pointed this out...🤭)

We already know KT adores First as Kant (he has said countless of time he finds Kant the best character so far out of their series, which I still find funny, cause I think the interviewers/host from KT party was actually asking him what's his fav role to date and he just goes off tangent and promote his soulmate instead hehe). Is it because Kant is meant to be this flirtatious, suave tattooist who pulls all the move to make sure Bison (and by default KT as well hehe) trapped in his allure? Who knows? Maybe! But, we all know, it is Bison who really holds the power in their relationship (at least in the bedroom anyway, 😆). I get the impression though, while Kant may have fallen for Bison first - once Bison commits to a person, he will be fiercely protective (and murderous, 😅) on behalf of his loves ones (so, when Bison finds out of Kant's deception, all hell will break loose)

Either way, since both boys are method actors, I have no doubt that there are some element of their characters seeping into their real life persona a little bit (especially KT, where FK admits KT always take longer to come out of character) - so, him clingy to First and refuse to let his hands go even after they finish filming, oh yes? This tracks nicely! Also that recent comment by First saying the KT he has to deal with at 6am is very different with the KT he deals with at 7pm??? (which ahem, also tells me, these 2 are TOGETHER pretty much 24/7. I mean we all expected this but its nice to have confirmation).

Look, I truly don't know whether these 2 are in a romantic relationship (in my delulu world, these 2 are in a comfortable spot where they know themselves what they meant for each other but is just letting everyone else make assumptions 😏). Either way though, I am eagerly waiting for Khaotung (or First) to casually drop a bombshell they are now cohabiting in KT's brand new house (whenever that will be completed) - because you just wait, they will drop this random fact suddenly or might pull a EarthMix move 😉

You have no idea how much this ask meant to me. Cause not only has it not been a shitty day in general from the news we have at present (why America? 😭), but also I am still getting asks from anti-CPs or solo F/K stans who are (for god knows why) trying to convince me of their narrative (like the fact I’m no longer answering those asks mean something?)

So, your delightful ask about FK and us being delulu - I’M ALL FOR IT. Let’s all stay in delulu land forever 🤍🧡💫.

(source of pictures/gifs in the pictures)

07/11/2024

[justwriting]

THK random thoughts post Ep 4

1) I’ve come to the conclusion that Bison is a sharp cookie and using his unassuming cuteness and sweet smile to lure people in 😅. I kinda of suspected it but this episode really clinch the deal for me. However, despite that, he seems to have soften slightly towards Kant, especially after the latter showed vulnerability when it involves Babe, his younger brother. Perhaps it’s partly because Kant does seem to resemble Fadel in some ways (and you know what they say that we usually fall in love with someone who resembles our love ones - and one thing is for sure, Bison loves his big brother even as he annoys the heck out of Fadel).

2) Got to say, I love the whole Batman/Robin sequence. It was truly the first time I think Bison saw Kant being somehow truthful and not his usual suave front - cause even as he was charmed by Kant’s smooth talking and attention, he only really let his guard down (slightly) when Kant was being goofy (like during the dance sequence in Ep 2) or when Kant was dealing with the disgusting teacher in Babe’s school.

3) Also love that after Bison agreed to become Kant’s boyfriend despite him “not 100% trusting” Kant - he immediately dropped his sweet unassuming nature. From the casual way he asked Kant whether there was anything else he is hiding from him? To him showing his jealously streak and warning Kant not to mess around with him 😂 - I’m very amused by Bison saying he will make Kant into burgers if he cheats on him 🫣

4) I also love the vulnerability that Fadel showed in this episode - his outburst at the creepy farm place (really Fadel? Of all places!!) was beautifully done and emotionally charged. Such a contrast to their cold intimacy in the spare room!

5) I am also in awe of Style tenacity and his self- awareness (I can’t help but cackle how he keeps reminding Kant and us, how handsome he is!). While yes, he did agree to hit on Fadel because of Kant’s car - I truly believe he does have some sort of feeling (or at the very least, attracted to this broody hot man). And he is certainly intrigued by him! It will be interesting to see how he is going to cope now that he knows Fadel is a hitman. It seems he is slightly regretting it already with what we see at the end of ep 4. However, Style is bold and appears to adapt quickly. I get the feeling he will bounce back and be his usual gutsy self in no time.

6) I’m also intrigue with the underlying mystery of their next target and how it ties with Fadel/Bison’s parents being killed. I personally do not think he is responsible for the death of their parents - although it does seems Madam Lilly wants them to think that way? I might be wrong but I really do think Madam Lilly controls the narrative on what is being presented to our brothers and I suspect some of the killings she has presented to them are actually not really “bad people”.

Anyway, I remained obsessed with this show. Can’t wait for episode 5! We have our double dates (and it really seems to be the calm before the storm…either way, I’m here for the ride!)

[fadelbison]

no but THK cast foursome fic where they keep daring each other to do wilder and wilder stuff until it ends in straight up sex because they ARE insufferable like that.

pretty please?

oh man i started writing this for you i just remembered and I dont even know if you're still here but I really struggled with how it should end. i dont know im stuck between first getting really jealous and halting the night early or getting goaded into going back to khaotung's shiny new house and getting down and dirty about it

Anyway you get a fic AND a poll:

[FirstKhaotung + JoongDunk; PG:13]

“P’Fiiiiiirrrr~~~~~~~”

Joong says in a honeyed little whine as he swings to take the seat next to him, his arm slinging around First’s shoulder. He just finished singing some current top 10 pop song that First hasn’t even gotten around to hearing before tonight. They’ve been generous with drinks tonight, it’s been a while since all four of them were free of a morning schedule and the atmosphere is amped with an excitement that’s been building the whole night. There’s a glint in Joong’s eyes and he’s smiling wide, showing all his teeth. First doesn’t know what is going to come out of Joong’s mouth next but he does know that 1) it will be an outrageous question and 2) the answer should be a resounding “No!” 

“Wanna play truth and dare?”

Joong is drunk, he smells more like the sickly sweet corn syrup of his chaser than alcohol but the way he’s picking at First’s collar only underscores his initial misgivings. But before First can say anything, Dunk bangs loudly on the table and Khaotung cheers and saunters over to where Joong and First are huddled.

“That’s a gre~~~attt idea, right?” Khaotung sits on the other side of First, sandwiching him in but also somehow managing to drape himself across First’s lap to hug Joong’s shoulder, “Nong Joong you only have - what was it you said the other day? - oh yeah! Big brained ideas, Nong Joong only has the biggest brain ideas.” Khaotung stretches his arms out wide when he says ‘big’ the second time, only misses smacking First and Joong because they both duck. Khaotung wobbles when his gesture throws him off balance from the precarious perch he’s put himself on.

“I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight.” First says, he puts his hand on Khaotung’s back to steady him, “Don’t you?”

Khaotung sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry at him while the rest boo loudly.

“C’mon, P’Fir. Don’t leave, we won’t have a chance like this for a while.”

The schedule for the next two months he’s been handed yesterday was rough. And the first draft is usually the relaxed version, First doesn’t know the next time he’ll have a weekend or be able to sleep in past 6 am. But Joong didn’t have to win him over with logic because in the next moment Khaotung says, “Let’s play, na Fir?”

“Do it properly! Do it properly!” Joong yells at the room and then somehow he and Dunk manage to co-ordinate a little chorus of, “Let’s play na P’Fiiiiir~~~~”

Khaotung is laughing with his whole face, eyes little more than crescent lines, he’s still sitting a little too close to First for what he does next; wraps a hand around First’s nape so that their faces are uncomfortably close, “Let’s play.”  And god. Forget Joong and Dunk - Khaotung is drunk. And drunk Khaotung only knows how to cheat, “na? P’Fir?” He says with a little tilt of his head.

*

Three more drinks into the night and everything starts feeling like a great idea. Thus far they have had several extremely enjoyable rounds which involved letting Joong take pictures of him with his fingers up his nose, singing modern songs in old school ballad style which Joong seemed proficient at and that Dunk seemed to know, simply wanting to show off when he gave him that dare. There were also several ill advised beer combos, Dunk had looked genuinely green after drinking his with mayonnaise, and Khaotung hiding his face as he shyly admits that there are things from the THK script he’s curious about trying out in real life.

Also, Joong is stripped down to his inner white tank, the least amount of clothes he’s legally allowed to wear in a karaoke bar which First only assumes is part of a dare since he’d gone to the bathroom and just come back to the room to find him looking like that. What First didn’t realize was that they were shifting gears into the middle school girls’ sleepover portion of the night. So First is not expecting it when Dunk looks at him and says, “Kiss the one you want, of the three of us.” And then taps his lips to make sure that First knows what he means by kiss.

First rolls his eyes, mutters a little ‘easy’ before he leans into Khaotung’s personal space just for a moment, as familiar with it as though it were his own, for the quickest little peck. Khaotung doesn’t reciprocate so much as he just lets it happen. There’s a pleased smile on his face though which makes First think that if he’d gone in for a longer kiss Khaotung would let him do that too. 

It’s an oddly comforting thought.

[celebtf]

Dressed in Style(s)

It was a late Friday and I sat down in my apartment on the East side. I scrolled the feed on Instagram, when I saw the post

I found Harry so hot, the tattoos, the hair, the muscles, the attitude. It's not that I'm in love with him, I wanted to be him, have his life.

I scrolled om Harry's Instagram and saw that he had a show in my City tonight, I didn't have a ticket obviously but that hasn't stopped me before. I packed a little bag, took my car-keys and jacket and went down to my car and started driving down town to the stadium.

I finally arrived at the stadium and now I only needed to access Harry's lounge, it was still in the afternoon so the Rehearsal for tonights show was still running. I saw a crew jacket and a hat " This is my chance " I said for myself, I put the jacket and hat on and started the search for Harry's lounge where I would hide till he was done with Rehearsal. After some time searching I found his room, the clothes were put on a hanger, some makeup was on the table, some hairproducts too, some water for tonights show " I can get used to thks " I said and laughed.

1 hour goes by and I hear somebody's coming so I hide behind the door. The door open and it's Harry himself entering his lounge, all tired and sweaty from Rehearsal. This was my chance, I slowly locked the door very quietly, I grabbed my bag and take out the handcuffs and ballgag i packed earlier and I jump on to Harry's back when he was facing away.

" Hey, who are you, stop that " Harry said but I was fast and put the Handcuffs on him " I'm sorry Harry, I just want your life so much, you have the money, fame, boys and girls drooling.. I want that, and it's okay nobody will notice you're away anyways ".

I put Harry on his knees and ordered him to start sucking on my dick " Yes Harry, you suck dick so good " I had my hand in his hair and started pushing deeper, the sound of Harry chocking was like music for my ears.

I grabbed Harry from the floor and placed him over the table with the mirror, I wanted him to see this next part. I put the ballgag in his mouth, pulled down his pants and started entering his tight ass " Oooh Harry you're so tight, I love it " .... as I was fucking his ass I started to see my hands grow bigger and tattoos started to appear, arms started to grow bigger and I got more muscular and more tattoos appeared. My hair grew longer and darker and my dick grew a few inches too. I force Harry too look up in the mirror " Look Harry " my voice came out deeper and with a brittish accent, The shock on Harry's face, there in the mirror was Harry Styles fucking Harry Styles. " How does it feel to be fucked by your own dick Harry ?" I asked him inbetween the moans. I shot a few thique loads in Harry's ass and then put Harry on his knees again and took out the Ballgag.

I could see Harry's hair started to lighten and getting shorter, arms got Skinnier and the tattoos disappering and he got shorter too. Harry was now a copy my old self

I took my new phone and I called Steve my Manager " Hey Steve, It's Harry I have a naked Intruder in my room, can you send somebody " . Steve came and took the Old harry away and I went out on stage of 60,000 people and and nobody suspected a thing. After the show I went backstage and Jerked infront of the same mirror, looking at my new body.

-------------------

Hey I'm new to this Writing thing, English is not my first Language, so I'm sorry for spelling and grammar errors. I hope you liked this story and want to see more of them

[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Games

Summary: i'd like to see bender acting like a depressed widow, like he always does when fry is even a little bit angry at him. or maybe leela acting as their message transmitter when they're angry at eachother 'n don't want to communicate in person, so she gets fed up and forces them to reconcile.

~

“I don’t even know what they’re fucking fighting about anymore.” And now that she thought about it, Leela wasn’t sure they’d ever bothered to tell her. “They literally live together but when they want to say something to other they text me, telling me to relay the message. It’s driving me crazy.”

Sitting at the bar next to her, Amy patted her on the shoulder. “Have you tried not playing their games?”

“Well… yes but then they don’t talk to each other at all and that’s only gonna make it worse, right?” Leela wanted them to make up, both for their sakes because usually their friendship brought them happiness but also for her own sake because then they could stop bothering her as much.

“Girl, you need to stop being such a people-pleaser. Let them sink or swim on their own for once.”

“I don’t know, that doesn’t feel right but… maybe you’re right.” Playing their games certainly didn’t seem to be helping them reconcile. “Maybe it’s finally time to start putting my foot down.”

As if testing her, her phone pinged. It was Fry. She took a long drink from her rum and coke before opening it. Just to read in case it was actually important.

‘could you tell bender to turn his emo music donw its making it hard ot sleep thks’

It took more effort than it should’ve to close the chat window, turn off the screen, and pocket the phone but Leela did it. They could figure their own shit out for once. She was done with their bullshit. … “Or perhaps maybe, instead of playing their games, I could force them to play my game… metaphorically anyway.”

Amy raised an eyebrow. “Like force them to talk?”

“Yeah. I mean, the ship’s pretty small and Fry’s a good enough polite by now that he probably won’t crash it if it’s just him and Bender aboard.” They’d gone on delivery mission without her before and been fine. Granted those times had been when they’d been on good terms, them fighting might change things.

“Ooh, and if it’s a long enough mission, they’d for sure either kill each other or come back as friends. Either way they’ll finally be out of your hair.”

“Or they might crash because they’re distracted by fighting.” Which would be a good reason not to do it. “Though, the auto-polite just got updated again so it should be even better at preventing crashes so… it’d probably be fine as long the space around them isn’t too populated.”

“So it’s decided then, next delivery mission you’re gonna get seriously suddenly very sick right before boarding, leaving them to go alone and hopefully finally sort their shit out?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

“Cool, if you need a good fake vomit recipe I know several. How good’s your fake retching?”

“Uh… not great.” Leela had never had to fake being sick before.

“That’s okay you can practice when we’re sober. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“It’s a plan then!” Leela raised her glass to clink against Amy’s before downing the rest of it in one go. They’d come here to have a good time so by golly she was gonna have a good time.

[aernx]

BYE YESTERDAY NIGHT THIS GUY FROM MY CLASS REPLIED TO MY STORY ON FACEBOOK AND SAID "your smile is precious don't hide it" WITH A BUNCH OF PENGUIN EMOJIS. and then we exchange pickup lines back and forth IT WAS MORE HIM THO he has alot 💔 AND THEN WHEN I WENT TO SLEEP HE SAID "goodnight, byebye princess 🙆" and im like !?!?! and when i check my messages he said "im just joking dont think abt it" BOY LIKE I BELIEVE YOU. lowkey rizzing me up i know 🫵 hes pretty cute tho he saved me from falling once LSHDHXB and he helped me w my hw hehe.

anyways THAT WAS UM MY DAY!?! HOW ARE U RINNIEEE i hope ur taking care of urself 🤭 just know that I LOVE YOU so much rinnie ty for being friends w me <33

THATS SO CUTE WTF?? WHY R PPL EXPERIENCING THESE KINDA STUFFS ME WHEN??? NOO THATS TOO CUTE BYE 👹👹👹

MINE WAS FINEEE !! schools busy as usual nothing new hereee ! YES I AM TAKING CARE OF MYSELF i think

AND I LOVE U MOREEEE thks for ever coming to my page srsly angel ☹️ ur an angel <33

[invisiblegarters]

Heads up that this contains very light information about the THK novelization.

I can't say I agree with a lot of this.

I feel like this is essentially turning on a romance channel and then complaining about all the romance. I get that it can be frustrating to want more and then not get it, but I don't feel like these shows ever promised us that. Kidnapped trailer made it very clear that it was mostly going to be about romance with some action on the side (as well as taking every opportunity possible to get Ohm half naked, thumbs up show). Only Friends mock trailer basically gave us everything we needed to put the pieces of the ending together, not to mention Jojo said it like four times. Khaotung spoiled the SandRay endgame before the show had even aired, lol. The Heart Killers trailers are much the same.

And Jojo is once again on Twitter telling us exactly what he's doing. If people choose not to believe him or to expect something different anyway, that's not his or the show's fault. This is supposed to be 10 Things I Hate About You with guns. Did you watch 10 Things I Hate About You and get surprised that Patrick and Kat wound up together in the end? That Bianca and Cameron became a couple? That the story mostly focused on the romance between them? It's a romcom. Hell, even the grittier version of Jojo's romance with guns had the main trio all end up together (even if I was so upset that my unexpected fave didn't make it that I couldn't actually enjoy that the first time I watched)! This isn't a phenomenon that happens only with BL - most romances have the main couple stay together even when they really really shouldn't. It's a staple. No one has to like it but it shouldn't be a surprise.

There's also been a lot of chatter about how Jojo wanted to break up the couples in OF and couldn't because of capitalism and the awful fangirlies, but I really don't think that was the case. I have looked for anything where he says that he wanted to work with no couples at all, and all I can find is him saying that he knew he wanted Mark and Neo for Nick and Boston from the beginning.

And considering they were the only non paired couple (despite Neo's best efforts, lol), that makes a lot of sense when you consider that they were also the only couple in the show to break up. I think it's less that Jojo was being forced into using cps and more that there were always meant to be two endgame couples from the beginning. People just took the Nick and Boston casting and Jojo's comments about them and ran with them to fit their own narrative. Now full disclosure, I have had to base this mostly on interviews - I don't have a twitter account so searching there is rough for me. If there is something on there that contradicts me, please bring it to my attention. I have zero problems admitting when I'm wrong. :D

Now as for THK, is it going to be good? This might get me in some hot water which I do generally try to avoid, lol, but I've read the novel so no. I have to say that for me personally I don't think it will turn out to be something I am into, not even as a turn my brain off and enjoy the pretty and ridiculous (which is what I do with Kidnap, incidentally, and I am having a great time even though I've been missing Title and would love him to come back and be hilarious) kind of way. But do I think that's going to be the fault of pair brands or the fangirlies? No. It's more because Jojo plays favorites with his actors, and always has. The ones he likes best get the best characterization and more stuff to do in general. Pretty much without fail. It's something I've noticed about his shows for a while now and it's easier to ignore in a show that is more of an ensemble (unless one of the ones that he's ignoring is someone you personally enjoy), but this isn't an ensemble show. I think there are shades of this bias already in the trailer, and if the novel matches up to the show as accurately as people expect, well. It will be even more obvious from the first episode exactly who this show is a vehicle for, and it ain't a pair at all.

That said, even if this annoys me personally, if it winds up as I expect I will just not watch. That's the only power I have here, and I'm okay with that. It's Jojo's thing and I really don't feel l have the right to tell him he shouldn't be doing it. Not every show is for me, and frankly if I was getting sick of GMMTV as a whole I would just stop tuning in. There are other companies that are rising up and doing their thing, and they are producing content I enjoy. There are other countries producing QL that I love. And I'm lucky I guess in that even though I enjoy a show that explores deeper themes or points out injustices or has something it absolutely wants to say (there are more I'm sure but a few that come to mind off the top of my head are Not Me, and I know you don't like it but The Eclipse (knowing the background of that one makes the anger in it really transparent to me), The Warp Effect (not a BL really but counting it anyway, and actually hilariously this is a great example of a show that I was annoyed with having a pat ending. But my annoyance doesn't change anything, or make what was being done less apparent. It just means that I wanted something else and that's okay but it's not their fault I didn't get it), my bread and butter is actually characters. I love thinking about why characters do what they do and dissecting the shit out of their motivations and reactions. Gimme a complex character over a complex plot any day. Not that we can't have both (and the ideal show does), but even if we do I'm always gonna focus more on characters. So in the end shows like Only Friends work for me because there's a lot to unravel there on a character level, although as I already said a lot more for some than others. Maybe that makes me a pleb or will get me judged as unintelligent but I've looked deep into my soul and decided that's okay, lol. 

And it's not that I think that these shows (or my faves) and what they do shouldn't be criticized or anything like that, that's absolutely silly. People have all the right in the world to criticize. I just think that it sometimes reaches a point where it starts to feel like people are watching this stuff just to get mad. And honestly I just think that that sounds miserable. The best lesson I ever learned was that when it comes to my leisure activities, if I'm not having a good time it's okay to quit.

I'm not expecting agreement; I think the two of us look at things very differently on the whole, and that's fine. I just wanted to add my two cents. I absolutely think that stuff is being done within the genre you would love, I just think that GMMTV is not really the place to find it, nor do I really think they ever promised that.

Hey,

I'm not 100% sure how this works. Also this is more of an opinion than a question. I just feel the need to brain dump. You are under no obligation to reply. 😁

I fear that First and Khaotung are being wasted at/by GMMTV. They're both stellar actors and seem to have the sensibilities to tackle more serious material.

I feel like coming off Not Me, the themes in The Eclipse kinda went over my head. My fear was and still is that I didn't understand all the nuances. And that's why I felt like the show was lacking. Also I think the very first preview set it up as an entirely different show (more supernaturalmystery/thriller) in my head, so there was a disconnect there as well.

Their next project was Moonlight Chicken where both of them shined as actors but negligibly as a BL pairing. Having said that, they seem to be on very solid ground in the BL fandom - I am referring to their fan meets.

Only Friends was a masterclass of acting as far as FirstKhaotung were concerned (i was all about Ray and Sand), but I think the overall reputation as show that fell flat on its face overshadowed or at least took away (for me) from the gravity of FK.

And now we're here. With The Heart Killers and I am very wary of how Ota all going down. I see that the final trailer got over million views and I'm happy for them, but based on I think the absolute travesty that was OF, my expectations for this show are on the ground.

I really want more of an insight into how projects are picked up and distributed inside GMMTV (if you ha e any, I'm dying to know). I feel like they would benefit greatly from being on a show like PS I Hate You or something like Peaceful Property.

It feels like they're backsliding in terms of material given. Which I am sure is a) not their fault and b) me possibly being weird and dramatic in the wee hours of the morning. But I wanted to get it off my chest and I was reading your previous reviews when I felt, and then gave into the impulse to write to you.

Also I'm a MaxTul girly too and somehow, you made me want to give Make it Right another chance.

Have a great week ahead and keep up the absolutely exceptional work! ❤️

NIHILISTIC! It's great to hear from you! And thank you for the compliments!

TW for girlies out there who are not Nihilistic: this post will contain criticisms of The Heart Killers trailer. Read at your peril, delicate hearts!

I'll go backwards to save the biggest stuff for last. If you write anything about Make It Right, please tag me! @bengiyo and I always give a little DJ air horn to each other when we've nabbed another one into the broader cultural reconsideration of this AMAZING show. MaxTul, man. Nobody beats them! (Okay, almost, Tul admits he wasn't the strongest actor, but. We'll let it slide, dahling!) Chemistry, humor, pride representation, everything, they're great. I yelped when I saw them in Triage!

Okay, so you are a FirstKhao girlie, and you're worried about what The Heart Killers bodes. (Out of transparency, I have The Heart Killers tag filtered because of Only Friends PTSD. I'm gonna filter my own post!) For you, Nihilistic, I just watched the trailer for it.

I will get to all your questions about the GMMTV model in a moment.

Now, out of even MORE transparency, I am watching the MESS that is Kidnap right now, and listen, it's NOT GOOD. I'm fucking not even writing about it anymore, I'm just reblogging the sessy gifs. I am watching it to support Ohm Pawat, and am hoping that this partnership with Leng Thanaphon will hopefully lead to better scripts.... somewhere. (Or at least, better scripts for Ohm at a place like One31 or Channel 3. I also hope Ohm keeps up his anti-branded pair stance, but if GMMTV forces him to pair permanently with Leng, it won't be a fucking surprise, and more on that below.)

To focus specifically on THK for a sec: the THK trailer evoked a lot of what's gone utterly wrong in Kidnap for me. I think writing Thai BL/Series Y scripts to be different, fresh, and innovative, is just going to be really fucking hard, especially for stories featuring branded pairs that MUST end up together in the end. Because we, the viewers, KNOW that they MUST end up together in the end, what kind of mystery and conflict can a script convincingly evoke to keep us, the viewers, engaged and interested in the drama?

A few of us Ohm girlies were excited that Kidnap could have had non-romantic plot points (CRIME!!!) to drive concurrently with a romance plot. There are Series Y that have done this BEAUTIFULLY, particularly Sammon's stories of Manner of Death and Triage.

I'm sorry to say that I didn't get that from the THK trailer, and that THK smells a lot like Kidnap to me. The trailer itself is giving an indication that the "jobs" these guys have as double agents are going to be compromised due to them falling in love. And after the debacle that was Jojo Tichakorn's Only Friends -- a show premised on the exploration of mean, icky, really horny humans, a great place to start an interesting show! -- knowing that THK will HAVE to end up in a romantic place, with FK and JoongDunk being in memorable and memeable entwinements... that's a lot to ask of a show that already isn't making sense by drive, emotion, and tone in its trailer alone. What matters more to these characters? Their work, or their need to be in monogamous relationships? Seems like the latter to me by way of the trailer, which makes me wonder what the point of the plot is. (Joong's chest, probably.) (Gahddayum.)

(I haven't watched the latest episode of Jack & Joker, btw, but I understand that THIS WEEK's episode is ALSO going through something similar, with dead-end and uncommitted plot points all to get to a kiss. Oy.)

To summarize these points and to touch at your question about how GMMTV chooses scripts: GMMTV has an economic model to sell in giving happy endings to their branded pairs, which I wrote about at length in my Old GMMTV Challenge rewatch of The Eclipse. No matter where a script goes, the ending must be memorable and monogamous to satisfy the retweeting hunger of the branded pairs' fandoms, in order for GMMTV's artists to increase online engagement and to maintain earned media values to sell products.

The wonderful @flowerbeasblog noted to me recently that Tha Sataporn, the CEO of GMMTV, said in an interview that as the productions of Series Y in Thailand continues to increase, there is a greater need for more scriptwriting talent across this niche genre, creating competition for more excellent writing. (By comparison, in the States, when streaming services like Netflix and Hulu starting commissioning more original series just about a decade ago, the demand for scriptwriters and excellent writing also went up by incredible scale -- only to come crashing down recently with pandemic and strike-related losses in revenue.) GMMTV's recently announced script competition, Y Find, updated itself last week with a notice that the company would need more time to sift through scripts to judge. In other words: the demand for creative plots is so high at this company that they are literally fielding entries from the general public.

At the same time, Tha Sataporn has been blunt in indicating that "good shows" are not the priority of his GMMTV, and that talent, management, and engagement are his indicators of success. So, economically -- as long as a show hits that happy ending, and gets the girlies excited online with commentary and purchasing power, then the studio has won, in GMMTV's eyes.

ULTIMATELY, Nihilistic: what we are dealing with regarding your concern, as fans and/or critics of Series Y shows, is a conflict of values, among critical fans like ourselves, other fans who only watch shows for romance and shipping, and the economic bottom lines of the studios/agencies themselves. Some of us just want narratively good scripts, like Bad Buddy or He's Coming To Me. Others are content with having a show end with their fave pairs confirmed together in the end, no matter the process of how they got there. Those are different values we hold in watching shows. I appreciate that while you're a fan of the FK branded pair, that you want stronger scripts for them. I do, too, but that's not a value that every fan -- and GMMTV itself -- holds. And I believe that's why we've been seeing more and more mediocre scripts from that studio in particular.

I actually want to note maybe something positive about FirstKhao. Other than The Eclipse, it seems like they haven't been locked into high school or university settings. Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken -- these are shows that show First's and Khao's characters as young adults, and THK is going there, too. I hope they can avoid the university settings as they continue to work.

Is stellar acting wasted at GMMTV? Oh, yes. Besides First and Khao, who I truly think are good actors, we have Gun Atthaphan, Nanon Korapat, and Ohm Pawat -- these three guys are on my list of the best Thai actors out there who have done BL, and they haven't had great scripts in years. (Gun, arguably, has had the best pickings of decent shows recently in Cooking Crush and The Trainee, but they weren't high art; and Nanon's Dirty Laundry was the last Jojo script I was truly impressed by.) All three of these guys were in MOVIES at one point. Those ambitions, on behalf of these actors by GMMTV, seem to have gone by the wayside in preference for a huge economic push to boost branded pair-based series insteads, with their plot holes and guaranteed romances.

I hope the genre's tide turns for the sake of quality scripts, especially at GMMTV, but my hopes are low for this agency at the moment. My joy in Thai shows recently has been in watching past shows for my OGMMTVC. I've been on a lakorn kick lately, having watched The Miracle of Teddy Bear and I'm looking forward to watching Khun Chai soon. Other agencies and studios, like One31 and Channel 3, are breathing down GMMTV's neck and producing more interesting shows, sometimes with branded pairs and sometimes not. Triage only came out two years ago, and that show's trilogy (along with Manner of Death) will end with this year's airing of Spare Me Your Mercy, starring the very likely one-time pair of Tor Thanabob and JJ (Jaylerr) Krissanapoom, two gigantic artists in Thailand who are circling BACK towards the much smaller genre of Series Y for SMYM's sake. I have VERY high hopes and expectations for that show -- and that show is well out of the purview of GMMTV.

I think what you're smelling about the THK trailer is right, Nihilistic -- to me, the trailer isn't cohesive, and jumps already to its forgone conclusion of a romantic end. Unfortunately, for those of us familiar with Jojo Tichakorn's work, we know that if he was given more leeway, he'd likely come up with something more interesting. But now that he has to work with branded pairs -- who are shipped in the eyes of their fan beholders -- he's got a lot less room to be creative and interesting, which ultimately stifles the otherwise excellent acting we'd see from these young men.

[airenyah]

where's that one tumblr post that asks what the thing is that you're "well actually" about bc that post has crossed my dash multiple times and every time i was like "i'm sure there is something for me too, i just have no idea what it could be" bc like. i know now. i know what it is. it's joong and dunk. joong's and dunk's acting skills specifically, actually

[candor-creator]

Just want to say I love how you write Bretta, it is so perfectly in character, and her crush on Hollow and their interaction at the end of the chapter is so sweet! And the secondary plot, I was not expecting that 😅 The implications here.. (I am so interested in and yet I feel unprepared for a potential Hollow pov chapter, if such a thing will ever come up?) And also your artwork is always amazing, I really love the cover of this one!

aha! i've successfully created hype for the ever-elusive THK perspective! Nobody knows what they're thinking... not even.. the reader *dramatic fanfare*

anyways, tysm!!!!!!! man, I drew that chapter art a good while back... i think even last year, actually

[abyssarts]

oh, to find intimacy in loneliness

[bobbinbugs]

eh, whatever. this is my blog and i get to choose the cringe: surreal, non-lore compliant horror mod details below. it's ghost and the dead girl babeyyyy

WARNING: LONG

This character is titled Outsides In, and she is a human (..was-human) character who looks and acts roughly like the girl from the ring. her moniker comes from her outsides being soft and her insides being hard, the opposite of a bug’s. tried to imagine how a hk character might find a human horrifying and got bug body horror

a few areas would be changed or added. there would be at least two halls- the hall of statues and the hall of hearts. the hall of statues would be unlocked fairly early but after dash, and is full of statues of women that look exactly the same, in poses like entwining the sword that impales them, or balancing their whole body weight on a toe. it's simply odd and macabre until you exit the room and one of those statues wakes up and follows you out.

(the statues do not respond when hit but replenish soul)

As the ex-statue/outsides in hunts you through the game, her senses deteriorate, until she’s close to dead in the heart of the abyss. hitting her guarantees your instakill unless she's at the abyss. If you chose to stay with her, she holds your hand through the rest of the game, unlocking some upgrades: you hold shift to run and she carries you, triple jump, and damage tank on a cooldown. (catching you for platforms far enough above the ground/above a hazard if you miss a jump would be too hard to code, probably.) little things

she would be located in the howling wraiths abyss room, so it would easily possible/more probable to have her by your side when activating the void heart cutscene - wish would juxtapose ghost's memory with the same ascent (with outsides-in) in the present

(Also the symbolism of thk looking back and letting ghost fall in they abyss cutscene vs ghost pulling a dead girl out of the chasm.)

Anyway, the only objective with her was to take her back to her heart in the hall of hearts, where all the statues' hearts are and, well... she can't make it beat again, so she... eats it. She reveals that her rageful, heartless, mostly dead status is not something inflicted on her, but something she sought out. “I never wanted to be god. I just wanted to be better than this.” She admits there was always a void where her heart should be t and now there always will be, but her suffering is no longer her purpose. she tells ghost she can handle herself now, thanks to them, and lets go of their hand

her final encounter is at the edge of dirtmouth facing the howling cliffs. She says she knows you need to do something that will cause you pain, and she can't stop you or help you with it. but if you survive it, she is going to the ocean and when you’ve done what you need to do she will be waiting there

But the real crux of it- it all started with the visual of little ghost holding their cracked skull together with nothing but their tiny little claws after the end of the radiance fight, moving forward, step by excruciating step. They are not dying, they are going to the ocean, and hornet thinks she will catch up to them soon

So that’s my girl. I love her for her surreal imagery and complete disregard for canon, and i dedicate her to my warrior cats self insert that was a human woman i made when i was like 9

Weirdest possible hk story mod rattling around in my head

[thevalleyoftriumph]