#which was also due to my psychosis

[clowngremlin]

turns out if i don't go outside for a little bit every day, i become weird and depressed! who would have thought that the guy who used to go on daily walks which made him happy would become depressed from spending most of his time inside

[chronicallycouchbound]

PSA: Please don’t ask participants to do grounding/mindful/somatic/etc practices at your events

Grounding exercises should not be an activity in large group settings, especially unsolicited and without warning, especially if you’re not aware of every single person in the space’s mental health conditions, physical health conditions, and personal relationship to their body.

Practices such as mindfulness, grounding, somatic exercises, breathing techniques, body scans, etc. are very helpful therapeutic tools to help manage stress. They can (and do!) help plenty of people– when taught safely and used effectively!

HOWEVER for people with conditions that cause psychosis and/or dissociative conditions such as depersonalization/derealization, these techniques are contraindicated and can make their symptoms significantly worse. They should only be used with guidance from their mental health team and adapted to their needs. For people with conditions like anxiety and PTSD, being aware of breathing can trigger a trauma response or anxiety attacks.

And for people with conditions that cause chronic pain or other uncomfortable bodily sensations, becoming re-centered with their bodies can cause more awareness of the pain they are in, which a level of (ideally functional) dissociation is actually helpful. For people in wheelchairs and powerchairs, touching the ground beneath their feet isn’t always an option. For people with cardiac and pulmonary conditions, deep breathing can be impossible or can trigger asthma attacks. For disabled people in general, doing body scans can be impossible due to paralysis or limb differences. They can bring awareness to things the person wasn’t aware were wrong to begin with (which is helpful in certain spaces, but not a great ice breaker at a retreat!)

And for trans people, binders and other garments can restrict breathing, and taking repeated deep breaths while binding can cause rib damage (which is why you shouldn't bind at night, while coughing from sickness, while exercising, etc). Becoming centered in a body that makes you dysphoric can be deeply distressing, again, a level of functional dissociation helps.

This also goes for plenty of other people in marginalized bodies, such as people of color, people who use substances, queer people, and more. Becoming grounded in your own marginalized body can be a heavy weight to carry, and needs appropriate and individualized care to be a beneficial experience.

As an alternative, I suggest doing a round of gratitudes instead, it allows for people to choose their level of vulnerability in spaces, while not being generally contraindicated for many people. Doing fun (and appropriate to the setting) icebreakers are great. Ask what brings someone to the space. Check-ins about basic needs such as if people need to use the restroom, eat, drink water, are rested, etc. can be more appropriate body check-ins for folks to do.

I don’t recommend doing these exercises even with a warning beforehand. If I'm in the room while someone is leading a breathing exercise, even if I try to ignore it, I (and most people) would automatically become aware of my breathing. The same goes for any other techniques. These techniques can cause real, life-threatening levels of harm for some people, and can even just be deeply uncomfortable or distressing for others. Dissociation is not inherently evil or bad or harmful. It is the way the body and mind naturally respond to adverse experiences (note: it can also cause distress and at higher levels, can be disordered) it is best to allow people to exist as they are in communal spaces. Let people show up as they are.

Most spaces are not equipped or appropriate to respond to emergencies, difficult feelings, and all the varied responses that can come from folks doing mindfulness in group settings.

I personally do some things before large gatherings and events to feel centered on the activity I’ll be doing, and afterward, I decompress. Encourage participants to lean on their natural supports and offer suggestions for it! Be creative in your caring!

This also doesn’t mean to discourage these practices! If you see someone doing deep breathing, check in with them, offer a space for them to decompress, care for them! Worksheets or posters on techniques like square breathing and 5 senses check-ins are great for a quiet room or spaces where participants can decide if they want/are able to engage with those tools. It should be a fully consensual opt-in, rather than being forced to opt-out. Having to leave a room when a group leader says “We’re going to start a mindful breathing meditation, please feel free to leave if you have psychosis, chronic pain, or are trans” is obviously othering and outs people.

Sincerely, someone who has psychotic symptoms, dissociation, chronic pain, is trans and whose body is marginalized in many ways and is really tired from trying to explain this at every event I go to

[pupp0ccino]

My Dust variant facts !

That no one asked for yay! ⟢

If I ever get to coloring these refs the current image will be replaced with the finished product.. also disclaimer, im aware these aren't canon , I just like having fun with characters and making my own versions of them

Dust

- he's a shapeshifter, having three forms. His normal form, Dustbunny, and Ghost. I hc him to have some form of identity/personality disorder (it's unspecified which one, that's up to y'all what you want him to have) so multiple forms with different personalities.

- his normal form, is simply just Dust. Hes the closest to looking like classic sans appearance wise compared to horror and killer.

- Dustbunny was mainly made as a kinsona, and for funzies, but Dust only morphs into this slightly smaller form as a defense mechanism, for he feels 'weak and pathetic' like prey. It's basically just him, but taking more on a bunny-like appearance and behavior. Like dust he's very closed off and quiet, but will rather flee than fight.

- Ghost is the complete opposite. Tall, sadistic and cruel with a sick smile plastered on his face. He comes in when Dust's getting a power trip, or needs to get big and protect himself. It kind of puts him in sort of a state of mania, where he has little sympathy for the people around him and how his actions affect others. He's a meanie, and loves to tease at people when ever he sees an opening

- Dust does not like to look in mirrors, or really have his hood off for long periods of time, nor being looked at. Makes him freak out

- he partakes in rabbit like behaviors, his nose twitches when his curious or irritated, he stomps his foot against the ground when he's upset, and he burrows. Accompanied by his tail being a rabbits tail !

- he's also a vampire, like nightmare, but instead of sucking the negativity out of souls, he just has cravings to bite and drink blood, has large sharp fangs, plus being a total night owl.

- he has really bad avoidant attachment when it comes to relationships, he's in fact fearful of gaining close bonds due to the fact he's lost people he's loved over and over and over and over again, before literally killing them off himself. So he purposely pushed himself away from people to not get too close.

- as in the picture above, he has markings speckled all across his face, it's also the same for his body down his arms and shoulders. He's kind of embarrassed about it, and hates it being pointed out

- he goes through psychosis, and psychotic episodes

- he's a stoner lolz (despite maryjane usage very much not being recommended to people who deal with psychosis...)

- his room is a depression room most of the time, he has a little mattress on the floor that looks like a nest

- he's a monster energy drinker because yes

- he's selectively mute, and has a very low social battery. He doesn't like crowded spaces and only has a select few people he talks to (killer, horror, fell)

- he has a hard time remembering to eat and will accidentally and sometimes purposely go days without eating. When he does eat, it's in very small portions, he doesn't like food like he used to.

- he doesn't like touch, don't touch him he will stab you

- Phantom, the papyrus voice in his head. What he says to dust is based on his state of mind. When he's in a normal state of mind, Phantom is a lot more like how papyrus usually acts , getting on Dust for little things like telling him to clean his room or that he has to take care of himself. The voice worsens as his state of mind worsens turning from silly banter to tormenting him about what he's done, and sometimes papyrus can also be like a Jiminy cricket to dust, a judge to his morals, and trying to set him on the right path. Dust hates this , and rarely ever listens.

- one of the things he does in his free time is play video games, he's your basic gamer boy. He likes to play cod mainly

- another hobby of his is that he likes to sew, and patch work his clothing and fabric items, along with making little plushies.

- bad sans poly bad sans poly toxic yaoi ..

That's it for now , I'll probably add more on later !!

Dust belongs to ask-dusttale

[trans-axolotl]

Can I ask what things have helped you learn to live with psychosis?

Sure! It's definitely been a journey for me, so this is probably going to be a long post lol. I'm also going to add the disclaimer that this is about about me and what worked for me--I don't think this is going to be helpful for everyone and I don't think that everyone needs to think about their psychosis/altered states in the same way that I think about mine.

When I first starting experiencing it, psychosis was very disruptive and incredibly distressing to me. Now, at this point in my life, although my psychosis is often inconvenient or annoying, it generally is not distressing or majorly disrupting my life in the way it used to. a lot of credit for this is due to places like Project LETS, the Hearing Voices Network, etc, that let me see for the first time different ways of thinking about and coping with altered states. The medical model was more harmful than anything for me: it left me feeling like i had no agency over my own experiences, and that the only option the rest of my life would be to submit to varying degrees of surveillance and control with no hope of ever having moments of joy again.

For me, the first step for living with my psychosis was to approach my hallucinations/delusions with a lot of curiosity, and to build up my own picture of what my experience of psychosis was like. I started asking myself a lot of questions:

What do the hallucinations/delusions I experience look like? What do they feel like in my body? What emotions do they bring up for me? What's happening in my life when I'm having more frequent hallucinations/delusions? How do I feel when people challenge me on my hallucinations/delusions? Are there people/places/things that my hallucinations/delusions are happening more frequently around? What parts of my hallucinations/delusions bring me distress? Are there any parts of my hallucinations/delusions that I like? Are there things that help making dealing with hallucinations/delusions easier?

The way I wrote these questions out makes it sound like I had a lot of insight about the fact that I was hallucinating and delusion and makes it sound like I was really methodical about this, which is absolutely not the case. A lot of this was me just like, scribbling in journals and google docs about my theories about angels and my favorite angels and lists of poisons and on and on and on. A lot of the most helpful insights were random ones that I found when I was completely delusional, not in the periods when I had insight and was trying to map all this out.

But overall, what I was able to figure out was that in general, most of my psychosis was associated with one of two themes:

feeling unsafe and worried about dangerous threats

feeling controlled and unable to exercise my autonomy.

This made a lot of sense to me, given my own personal history with trauma and the traumatic things actively happening in my life at the time. When that clicked it felt like so much suddenly made sense, and I was able to get a lot more of an understanding of why certain things felt so distressing and urgent. Having a delusion that all my food is being poisoned creates a level of paranoia and stress that is pretty unreasonable and unhelpful as an adult who buys all their own food. Having that same level of paranoia and stress as a child who had to live in a dangerous situation without any control? A lot more helpful and reasonable for surviving. There were so many hallucinations/delusions (bugs/people in my walls/monsters and blood/etc) that I could clearly track all the ways that they did kind of function as a protective strategy for me in traumatic situations by raising my level of alarm and awareness, but now just caused me so much fucking stress.

At this point, it felt like I had a pretty okay grasp on some of the reasons I was experiencing psychosis, and then wanted to think about how I could actually then cope with it. First I identified all the things that weren't working and instead were just making me pissed off and making things worse.

Logical attempts to reality check me just made me feel more stressed, paranoid, and often made the hallucinations worse and the delusions bigger.

Before, this hadn't made any sense to me, but after identifying those underlying emotions around safety and autonomy it made so much fucking sense. People reality checking me, or even me trying to use logic against hallucinations with myself, didn't do anything to validate my emotions or meet that underlying need. Instead it just made me feel like I wasn't being listened to or believed, that I didn't have anyone I could trust, and that I had to be more on guard, which just perpetuated the whole cycle!

So for me, I realized that any coping skills would need to be centered around validating my emotions and meeting my underlying need for safety and/or autonomy. Practically, what this looked like for me was making a bunch of documents that are titled things like "Tips for if there's bugs inside of you" "Things you like to remember when you're talking to angels" etc etc etc. I think what really helped this work for me is that I didn't title them things like "how to cope with delusions about bugs" because I know that when I'm delusional, reading something like that is just going to piss me off and make me feel like I'm being called a liar. In those documents I write a lot of affirmations for my emotions and then write out a list of specific coping skills, organized from least chaotic/risky to most chaotic/risky. Nothing gets me more pissed off when I'm in a bad space then people trying to get me to use therapeutic coping skills when I don't want to, so I knew that I wanted to include a wide range of out-of-the-box coping skills. I'll share a few from my list of coping skills for increasing autonomy that I put in my "tips for if there's bugs inside of you document."

eat/shower/sleep/talk to someone in real life/pain meds

redecorate your room

shoplift

cut your hair

work on a project like embroidery or knitting or origami where you have to create something with your hands

choose a random place outside and go there

try some DBT/ACT/RODBT skills and see if they help you feel just 2% better, enough that you can do something else that you hate less like distractions.

distract (talk with friends, watch tv, read)

choose a random place outside and go there

make a lot of noise and kick things over in your room

break things

self harm (following my harm reduction plan)

drugs/alcohol

if i'm doing well enough, i try to first use coping skills that don't also have mental or physical risks for myself, but if i need to, I give myself permission to cope in whatever ways meet my needs in the moment and try to let go of some of the shame associated with riskier coping skills. I also have talked about psychosis openly with my trusted friends who know what kinds of support are helpful and what shit just makes me pissed off and frightened.

Overall, this has helped make psychosis a LOT less distressing for me, and over time also has made it happen slightly less. About half the time these days I have insight that what's happening are delusions or hallucinations which has helped make it easier to remember to cope. These days, psychosis mostly happens when my body is under a lot of stress (no sleep/seizure recovery/not eating/injured), and also sort of acts an alarm bell to me that somethings going on in my life that I might not have noticed, either in terms of my physical health or in terms of stressful situations or emotions that I'm not ready to think about or process.

That's one of the reasons that my psychosis is so meaningful to me, to be honest. I honestly feel really grateful that my psychosis gave me a way to externalize and experience my emotions before I was ready or able to experience them and feel them in my body. I think having hallucinations/delusions helped protect me at certain times in my life while still helping me acknowledge in a certain way that I was so fucking angry and grieving and hurt and in pain. I think that helped keep me alive long enough to get to a point where I could start to process and unpack trauma without it completely overwhelming me, or without convincing myself that I needed to be fine at any cost. And maybe it's strange to say I'm grateful for that, but I am.

so. that's most of what has worked for me. The way I wrote it out made it seem super simple and straightforward, but in reality it was absolutely nothing like that. It was years of a lot of chaos and feeling upset so much of the time and feeling absolutely clueless and my loved ones feeling concerned and writing things down and forgetting that I wrote things down and having the same problem over and over agai. just overall was so messy and not at all a linear process like I wrote about it here. I absolutely still have plenty of times where I just fuck off and forget I've ever thought about coping and just go around with hallucinations disrupting my entire day, and plenty of times it's still stressful.

And also again: this is about me and what's worked for me. My biggest advice for other people about coping with psychosis is a lot less about the specifics of a process or exactly what coping skills to use. Instead I think it's a lot more about approaching with curiosity first, just giving yourself the space to explore your psychosis on your own terms, to try things out, to build your own relationship with psychosis and how it fits into your life, and to affirm yourself as someone who does have agency about how you want to think, talk, feel, and cope with your own psychosis/altered states.

hope that was helpful and/or interesting anon, feel free to let me know if you have any other psychosis/altered states questions!

[clownwritesfanfic]

I’m obsessed with the pub scene from season 2

I love seeing both Five’s interact with and be suspicious of each other.

So how about this:

You go with Five to steal the briefcase from Older Five. There isn’t really any good reason for you to tag along but you mostly go because to you it’s been a while since you’ve seen Five look his age and you wanted to catch a glimpse of yourself since you knew you’d be there. Luther still accompanies you both as a spotter considering you both will be feeling paradox psychosis.

You and Five met in the apocalypse and of course became very close, you were both recruited to the Commission and were sent on missions together frequently due to your teamwork and ability to get along (something many field workers lack). So of course you were there to assist in the assassination of JFK.

You can’t help but flirt with Older Five. Mostly because he’s still your husband but also because it makes Five insanely jealous which you find hilarious considering it’s literally him you’re flirting with.

When Older Five goes to the bathroom you decide to follow him. Five protests at first but when you claim to have a plan on snatching the briefcase he reluctantly lets you go.

You wait for Older Five to leave the stall and strike up a conversation with him as he washes his hands. After he dries them, you push him against the wall and start feeling him up. He instinctively grabs your waist but isn’t sure what to do.

When he’s throughly flustered, you lunge for the briefcase but he’s quicker than you. He grabs your wrist and pulls you close, wrapping an arm around you.

“Nice try. But I knew you’d try something like that.”

Damn, he really does know you. Unfortunately, you get interrupted by Luther :(

When you finally see yourself it’s practically like looking in a mirror. You are one of the 43 children both mysteriously, you’re able to regenerate and manipulate cells. However, your own body is constantly regenerating it’s own cells so you never age. You stopped aging around 16 so now you look forever young. It’s something most people would rejoice in but you hate it. Especially as you watched Five age in the apocalypse. It also made your relationship look very very weird and concerning to strangers so PDA was basically out of the question. You did get a kick out of Five being stuck in his own 13 year old self though.

You’re standing behind Five, too busy scratching your neck, when other you practically attacks Five and starts cooing over him.

“Oh my god you haven’t looked like this in years! Awww you were so cute.”

You snort at the interaction causing your Five to glare at you.

Now it’s Older Five’s turn to feel jealous of himself.

That’s all I got rn. Maybe I’ll make this into an actual one shot or something one day. I just really like older Five lol

[multydoodles]

One of my favorite things about IDV is how a lot of survivor's trait tells details of the character itself, no matter how insignificant or in your face it is, here's the most interesting ones I found:

Veterans are more vigilant than novices ( Emily )

With lies running through his veins, the Lawyer is never shaken ( Freddy )

The Mercenary has tempered his spirit through battle / Scarred by the effects of war, the Mercenary panics when he hears the noise produced by Cipher Machines ( Naib )

The Explorer hardly controls his curiosity and tends to attempt risky operations / Possesses superior survival skills and knows how to hide trails ( Kurt )

Years of indoor work have exacerbated the Mechanic's timidity ( Tracy )

The Perfumer is very sensitive to scents and doesn't like the smell of medical equipment ( Vera )

He is carefree, undisciplined, and dislikes complex machines ( Kevin )

Extremely sensitive to the presence of others ( Aesop )

Exploration in the wilderness has made the Prospector physically strong ( Norton )

Having lived by himself throughout the years in the cemetery, he hasn’t communicated with or learned from the living. His eyesight is also poor as a result of his illness. ( Andrew )

Hmm... If no one sends him a letter, why doesn't he peek into one? ( Victor )

The Painter is perceptive and observant of real-life objects ( Edgar )

The Batter refuses to stand back when others are in danger ( Ganji )

The Reporter hates the sound of metal scraping ( Alice )

The Cheerleader suffers from early psychosis caused by childhood trauma and is unable to accurately discern her surroundings ( Lily )

The Fire Investigator's hearing has been impaired due to prolonged exposure to high-decibel noises, which makes it difficult for him to concentrate ( Florian )

Tense situations affect Faro Lady's ability to make decisions ( Evelynn )

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

I personally think the wof mental health rep is a lot better than it seems at first glance.

I should say upfront that I'm not a professional, though one of my biggest interests is psychology and majority of the conditions I talk in this post I either have or have traits of (and I'll clarify which I don't).

Whiteout is the only canonical neurodivergent character as far as I know, having associative synesthesia, but many headcanoning her to be autistic. I haven't read the books in a long while, but from what I remember I can agree, though I'm not autistic (despite meeting criteria... long story) so I won't for sure say if I think her traits are enough for a diagnosis or not (again, haven't read the books recently), but everyone seems to think they are so I'll agree.

Hawthorn has psychotic symptoms, which I think is important to represent since people with psychosis (whether that be from being on the schizophrenia spectrum or some other reason) are very often put in a bad light. Hawthorn is too, to an extent, but that's more so due to the Breath of Evil and not due to his psychotic symptoms, or from what I can remember, at least. I don't think Hawthorn has a mental disorder like schizophrenia since symptoms of psychosis can be caused by isolation (I'm not actually 100% sure if this is true, this is just something my psychologist told me), but I think the representation is still important either way. I relate to him a lot due to his symptoms.

Darkstalker very clearly shows symptoms of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), I don't think you can even argue that (sorry, narcissism anon from a month or so ago). I myself fit the criteria for NPD, and I definitely see myself in him. I doubt he can be diagnosed since he is still a child, but his symptoms might be extreme enough to warrant one, I'm not sure (coming from a minor who's doctors referred them for a personality disorder screening themself). Of the nine (9) criteria for NPD, just off memory he fit basically all of them. I won't go into all of it but I will definitely mention his splitting, seeing how he goes from loving Clearsight to thinking he can kill her if she doesn't meet his expectations. He also has the aspect of how it develops too, that being trauma (I recall Arctic being abusive to him which is definitely enough to warrant trauma), and being spoiled as a child (this could be my brain making things up but I swear this happened, or at least he was overly praised or something). So yeah, fairly sure he would have been diagnosed with NPD if he didn't eat the strawberry.

Moonwatcher seems to have social and separation anxiety. I like this, since I am diagnosed with both and they are both very difficult to live with, and I like seeing another character having it that I can relate to in that way. She also has symptoms of AVPD (just from what I remember), but she's only like... twelve (12) so there's no way she could be diagnosed.

Anemone, while not having any mental disorders specifically, still had a rough mental health journey so I think it's important to bring up. She grew up with her mother, Queen Coral, who was a complete helicopter parent, and likely never met her Father, King Gill. She was praised and adorned all her life, so it makes sense that when she was eventually separated from Coral, she acted out what she thought she deserved. While I think Darkstalker has NPD, I can't say the same for Anemone, since she was so young and it's normal for young children to have narcissistic traits. When she met Darkstalker, they clicked well due to both being animi and having... less than positive thoughts on the dragons around them. Darkstalker ended up lovebombing her, and telling her to leave when she got mad at Moon. She lashed out at Turtle afterwards, before they reconciled later. I thought this would be important to mention.

Peril likely has a few personality disorders as well, the most likely ones in my opinion being BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and DPD (Dependent Personality Disorder), which isn't surprising given her situation. She likely has tons of trauma so it's only natural for her to develop a traumagenic disorder. I say those in particular because of her rapidly changing thoughts and emotions and her over attachment to Clay, which I can definitely relate to given how I act with my DP (Dependent Person). I don't have BPD though I show traits (not sure if enough for a diagnosis or not) and I remember Peril showing traits too.

There's also a lot of dragons that probably have PTSD in some way, Fathom, Peril, and Jerboa III being the first ones that come to mind specifically.

I seriously think this is an important topic and I might make a video on it at some point. Like I said, I love psychology and I think it's interesting how it impacts characters from my favourite book series.

.

[maythestormsnevertakefromme]

you said you were an ex pagan and im curious, why did you stop? have you changed religions, or are you an atheist? im sorry if this is disrespectful or an invasion of privacy, i’m just genuinely curious ! feel free not to answer !!

The floor of the temple I grew up going to was really cold and hurt my knees.

I grew up pagan, my whole family were pagan, everyone I knew was pagan, yet I felt like an outsider my whole life. People didn’t like questions, a lot of the time people would fall back on “this is the religion of your ancestors” if I was pestering religious leaders too much.

Paganism draws a lot of white supremacists, a lot more then people think, and I was 15 trying to research Tamfana I had to do background checks on the authors of articles and books just to be sure they weren’t open violent racists.

People around me growing up often viewed psychosis as a prophetic sign, if there was any proper census or documentation of my community I’m sure we would have a much larger suicide rate compared to other religious groups due to the lack of mental health awareness and care.

I was also taught about Nidhogg and Náströnd as a young child, for a decent portion of my life I was a huge liar (stemming from untreated mental health issues) and I worried that would count as oath breaking and that I would end up in Náströnd and my corpse would be eaten by Nidhogg. Also something else that can send you to Náströnd is adultery which is something FRIGHTENINGLY common in neopagan communities. I was terrified that all these people I love and had grown up with were going to be sent to a part of hel covered in rivers of venom. I hated being in fear all the time.

I’m not exactly a man or a woman and alot of pagans have this weird obsession with divine feminine or divine masculine so I would awkwardly hang around community events directed at young women to “enhance divine goddess/feminine energy” and I hated it.

People were always fighting, nobody could agree on anything and it was maddening. People’s random ass UPGs were taken as gospel and often people rejected good research in exchange for just spirituality.

Also classism.

A lot of the time people around me would basically glorify Slavic pagans as “the resistance” when in reality they were just Christian hating racists & bigots.

Paganism is not very progressive outside of the internet. And on the internet a lot of people don’t want to acknowledge their non progressive irl counterpart which basically cancels out any leftist or progressive points they may have.

[alexandraisyes]

This is a flag I found for ASPD. There's an entire archive of support flags for people with different kinds of Cluster B Disorders. I just really like this version.

Antisocial Personality Disorder can be disabling and is considered a social disability. Depending on the psychologist it’s also considered an emotional disability like ADHD or Bipolar.

This may not make sense at a glance, but there’s psychologically found logic behind this.

People with ASPD have severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Chronic Depressive Disorder, and General Anxiety Disorder GAD).

The disorder also tends to be comorbid with Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DDD), as well as some psychotic disorders like Brief Psychosis Disorder and Schizophrenia. although these last two aren't as common.

There's also a chance for people with ASPD to have overlapping traits from other Cluster-B Disorders (NPD, BPD, HPD). And many people with ASPD struggle with impulse disorders. Common impulse disorders related to ASPD are as follows:

Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED): Characterized by recurrent outbursts of verbal or physical aggression that are disproportionate to the provocation.

Kleptomania: A recurrent urge to steal items that are not needed for personal use or for their monetary value.

Pyromania: An impulse control disorder characterized by recurrent and deliberate fire-setting behavior.

Pathological Gambling: Persistent and recurrent problematic gambling behavior that leads to significant distress or impairment.

Trichotillomania (Hair-Pulling Disorder): An irresistible urge to pull out one's own hair, resulting in noticeable hair loss.

Many people with ASPD also struggle with addiction and may be fighting addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, binge eating, and social media because these are quick endorphin fixes that help us feel something due to the inherent nature of ASPD to be numb almost 24/7.

It's extremely rare for someone with ASPD to get disability aid. Which probably sounds ridiculous, when you look at this massive list of issues. A large part of it is our society. People tend to see someone who has a label that is synonymous with Sociopath and Psychopath (there's a difference between the two) and immediately want them in jail. And it doesn't matter how long they've known that person, or what their relationship is. (I got dumped last year when my ex found out I have ASPD and almost disowned during Christmas when I told my dad. The only reason I haven't been being that he thinks it's a demonic issue that can be "cured with prayer".)

On top of that, our psychology system isn't built to handle someone with a personality disorder like ASPD (or even NPD). I get told a lot "You're really self-aware." Which is basically them saying they aren't going to help you. Of course I'm self-aware if I'm going into the therapist's office for advice (at the least) and actual help (would be great), but I get turned away because if I'm "self-aware", so I should be able to figure it out. This isn't an issue that pertains directly to ASPD, it's also one that affects every disorder that's hard for a neurotypical to understand.

This is more personal. Feel free to read this in a mildly irritated, but not very much, tone of voice. Preferably a tired scholar from Skyrim, that'll make my day.

I cannot function in today's society. I can't hold down a job, and I've tried time and time again. I get a few months in and I hit a wall and my mental health goes to shit. I had to quit my last job for my physical safety because I got bored with just life in general, to the point I was seriously considering sticking my arm in a fry vat.

I haven't even managed to get a proper diagnosis because I don't have health insurance, and I have so many false disorders on my medical diagnosis sheet from my narcissistic father bullying my long-term therapist into giving me damn near every disorder except for ADHD and Conduct Disorder (I was below the age of 18, but it would have helped me in the here and now with securing the diagnosis I need for medical reasons.) Growing up several doctors I worked with wanted to get me set up for an ASPD diagnosis and my father told them no. And because of where I lived I had no say in it, and even if I did my father was abusive, so goodbye to ever speaking up for myself.

On top of that, I'm a woman. There's a severe gender bias in ASPD, as well as the fact that women with ASPD are reportedly less likely to be physically aggressive and more likely to be mentally aggressive, so our symptoms show up slightly differently than the stereotype. And don't even get me started on the stereotypes. Plus women are more likely to be studied for comorbid disorders than psychologists even considering ASPD. This is the same shit autistic women struggled with.

There's a massive underreporting in the female ASPD populace because of this, and a lot more masking going on because everything gets chalked up to "she's just a bitch" or "hormones". There's also just not enough research done on females with ASPD to understand how it may be different from a male with ASPD.

I'm tired. I've been fighting for a year to get people to recognize me as an individual who deals with ASPD. Every time I run into threats of being abandoned (which is horrible, considering I was abused and then abandoned by my biological mom, then put in foster care for the next 4 years), or the road block of "You're a woman. Are you sure you don't have BPD? That's the female disorder." Or just getting tired of the uphill slope. I only have so much stamina, and sure I have a lot of spite for the world, but eventually that's going to run out too. And then I'll probably kill myself.

The suicide rate in general is less than 2%.

The suicide rate for people with ASPD is 23%.

[cripplecharacters]

Mods

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Sasza

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Hi! My name is Sasza and I use he/him pronouns. I am a disabled artist who loves to write and draw characters like me! I am autistic, (mildly) intellectually disabled and have several physical conditions including-but-not-limited-to dyspraxia, severe hyperkyphosis, cranial nerve diseases (causing double vision, chronic pain and a facial difference among other things), and hypermobile joints. Sometimes I use a cane. I'm very passionate about accessibility and disability representation in all kinds of media - books, comics, video games, and any other kind of art that's out there!

Bert

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Hello! I'm Bert (previously Mason), and I use he/they pronouns. I am a writer who loves to write plays and fiction with characters like me and my friends. I am autistic and have ADHD, I have psychotic PTSD and a DID system. Physical health-wise I have migraines, fibromyalgia, and a lateral lisp. I love talking about representation and ways we can make a kinder and more inclusive space everywhere we go.

Sparrow

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Hi, I’m sparrow, they/he for me. I’m a disabled artist who makes a lot of disabled characters like myself and probably like a quarter of the world. I have autism and ADHD, among other brain things, as well as chronic pain in both my jaw and my knee and ankle. I also have POTS and some sort of sleep disorder. I am a sometimes cane user as well. I really enjoy research and thoughtful art that makes people feel seen. Aside from that, I am a huge fan of historical fiction and really enjoy fantasy as well.

Rot

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My name is Rot, I use all pronouns including neo pronouns as well as any rot and insect themed nounself pronouns. I’m an artist who loves putting disability in my stories. I’m mostly undiagnosed due to medical neglect and have chronic fatigue, hypersomnia & chronic pain that ranges from mild to debilitating. My known disabilities are pots, ganglion cysts, nerve damage, tics, autism (level unknown), asthma, GERD, anxiety and psychosis. I have a metal implant, use a cane and am mostly verbal and use aac infrequently. I have experience with temporary palsy, needing carers (family members who stepped up, not hired carers) and being in a wheelchair, though I currently don't have any of those.

Virus

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Hello! I go by Virus and I use She/Her but anyone can use any pronouns for me, have fun with it. I'm a writer—mostly fanfiction—who has been in fandom very long and used to be a classical musician. I have Hypermobile Ehler Danlos Syndrome along with it's fun co-morbidities (MCAS, POTS, Gastroparesis, Fibromyalgia, and Von Willebrandes). I also have Pan-Hypopituitarism which is the following: Adrenal Insufficiency, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Insipidus, Precocious Puberty, Growth Hormone Deficiency, Hyperprolactinemia/galactorrhea, as well as High Estrogen and Testosterone issues. I have Pituitary Dwarfism/Proportional Dwarfism, Myoclonic Epilepsy, and a Speech Disorder. I used to have a Port-a-cath, Picc-Lines, and a feeding tube, amongst many other things. Phew, now that that's over. I love every art form with a favour towards music, writing and the fiber arts. I love seeing representation no matter how big or small especially in medias that rep is often glossed over!

Rock

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Hi! I am Rock; any pronouns are okay. I am a writer, mainly of sci-fi and fantasy, and I love adding all sorts of disabled characters. I am hard of hearing (mild-moderate bilateral hearing loss) and have profound auditory processing disorder. I have scoliosis, POTS, and lower-body muscle weakness so I am a full-time mobility aid user. I am also intersex; I have several hormone deficiencies among other conditions as a result of my intersex variation. I am excited to join the mod team!

Aaron

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Hey, I'm Aaron, he/him. I'm a writer of fantasy, science fiction, dystopia, utopia, and historical, and I like writing incorporating casts of disabled characters into all of them and reworking magic, technology, and science to accommodate them. I have a TBI, a lot wrong with my speech, cognitive issues, slight developmental disability, myofascial pain syndrome, medium support needs autistic but fully verbal, OCD, multiple types of anxiety, PTSD, depression, severe ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, articulatory initiation anomia, medically significant migraines, a chronic headache, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue. I'm also visibly disabled (one of those people who looks autistic) and transmasc. And I can't wait to see what amazing things you guys come u with.

Zohar

[Large Text: Zohar]

Hello everyone! I'm a new mod, and you can call me Zohar. I'm a writer of fantasy and sci-fi for the most part, and definitely prioritize disability, LGBT, and Indigenous representation in my work. I am Blind with a form of Albinism/strabismus/ptosis, along with some hearing loss. I am intersex/transgender with mixed gonadal dysgenesis (XO/XY Turner Syndrome) that goes hand in hand with GHD/pituitary dwarfism and affects my skeletal and hormonal health. I also have POTS and complex DID caused by RAMCOA and am comfortable answering asks about that. He or She pronouns is fine with me. I can't wait to help out here!

Icarus

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Hello all! My name is Icarus (He/Him). I'm a new mod here and a writer of original work (Primarily contemporary short fiction and cosmic horror) with some fanfiction on the side. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, PTSD, Tourette's Syndrome along with several other mental and physical health conditions. I also had epilepsy, asthma, and a heart condition as a child but have since grown out of them. I am currently seeking a diagnosis for something causing a few different symptoms including chronic pain, mobility issues, sensitivity in my joints/bones, progressive vision loss (Currently to the point where I have very little to no peripheral vision), and dizziness/fainting episodes. I am a full time cane user at the advice of my physio. I am also a gay trans man and in full-time university studies.

Jess

[Large text: Jess]

Hey y'all! I'm Jess, and I use she/her. I'm 35, and I work full time behind the scenes in the grocery industry (in an office, designing shelf layouts!). I enjoy writing and reading slice-of-life stories mostly. I especially like exploring how certain magical elements can be parallels for disability. I also do art, including some 3D illusion chalk art. As for my disabilities: I have multiple sclerosis, and a few issues that have come from that, including severe permanent damage from optic neuritis. I was briefly 100% blind in my left eye, but a small amount of vision returned. The residual vision causes some hard-to-describe double vision, so I wear a completely opaque occlusive contact lens on my bad eye to help me see more clearly. I also had a period of time when I suffered from paroxysmal kinesigenic dyskinesia, a rare movement disorder. I also have a body-focused repetitive behavior disorder (dermatillomania) and visible scars from that. I'm looking forward to being helpful!

[sixseasonsofodestawithatardis]

🔥?

Okay, so I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion, but to me, many of the characters within the narrative of THG are disabled/ have experienced disability in some way! Sorry for how long this post this about to be!

I'll explain further just so others can understand my thought process:

Katniss- Goes deaf in the first book, and whilst that is cured in the 2nd, throughout the rest of the trilogy has PTSD/ trauma, which is a disability/ becomes disabling.

EDIT: Katniss is indigenous (Gale and Haymitch are also part of the seam!) How disability and race intersect is important, too!

Peeta- Loses his leg and has to use a prosthetic, a visible disability, on top of the hijacking and how that affects his mental health.

Johanna- Also has PTSD and severe Hydrophobia due to being electrocuted by the Capitol- to the point where she can't go out into the rain and is used against her when applying to D 13's army. (Not sure if that's 100% correct, but Johanna stans, feel free to correct me!)

Beetee- Again, most likely has PTSD, but also in book 3, due to the lightning ( I think), he is in a wheelchair.

Enobaria- Again, PTSD; I also want to include how her teeth were fashioned into fangs ( Idr if it happened in the book!) But I'm unsure how that would affect her emotionally, physically, medically, etc., so I can't get deeper into that. I've put it down anyway.

Mags- Had a stroke, and her speech isn't as clear as it used to be. Also, she uses a cane, which was taken away from her during the 75th games, presumably because it can be used as a weapon, and she had to rely on Finnick to be mobile during that time in the arena, on top of PTSD or some form of trauma.

Haymitch- Has PTSD (i.e. the bad nightmares), and whilst nothing is said in the book, the alcoholism he has to use to cope with everything has probably messed his liver up. On top of that, the withdrawal symptoms whilst sobering up in D13 were probably disabling, too.

Annie- Has PTSD or Psychosis. She has hallucinations, putting her hands to her ears when triggered by things that remind her of the 70th games or being tortured.

Finnick- PTSD and had multiple breakdowns in D13. On top of the trauma that comes with sexual exploitation, which many other Victors would also have (maybe not the same presentation of symptoms/ coping mechanisms!) if/when Snow forced them into prostitution.

Also, obviously, Chaff, Seeder, Wiress, Cashmere, Cecilia, and basically every Victor is dealing with the trauma and various mental and physical problems after the games, which again are disabilities or disabling!

Non- Victors

Mrs Everdeen- Has depression that renders her mute and unresponsive after Mr Everdeen's death.

Gale- Not stated explicitly, but having to work in the same mines that killed your father, having to then be the one to have to hunt so they survive on top of being in poverty, and then having to save as many people from your district when Snow tries to bomb it would lead to some sort of impact on your mental, physical and emotional health. Also, the whipping he received in Catching Fire would leave a massive injury and be a nightmare for anyone.

Madge's mom- Has constant migraines, which I assume increased after Maysilee's death.

Pollux—He has his tongue cut out and communicates through gestures; this also applies to the rest of the Avox's.

District 10 Boy- in the 74th games, this tribute is described as having a crippled foot.

Those are all the characters from the book who are disabled or become disabled by the system. And I think the fandom forgets that a lot—which isn't helped by the movies erasing things like Johanna's Hydrophobia or Peeta's prosthetic leg. This is annoying to me as many characters, such as Annie, will get ableism thrown their way, yet that person's favourite character will actually be considered disabled- also because I am a disabled woman and having to put up with ableism is a nightmare anyway.

I know we talk about trauma such as PTSD and Psychosis a lot in this fandom, as we should! It's imperative to the message of THG's and the characters of these books! But I've never seen someone explicitly say these characters are disabled; they count as disability representation. And I think if we did that, then

a) We could talk about things like psychosis, PTSD and other traumas these characters experience with greater insight and find empathy and strength within characters we couldn't before and maybe the ableism thrown at the characters would lessen a bit as well.

b) Calling it disability/ disabling on top of the diagnosis would enable us to examine other bits of Panem and see another way it affects people. It would also provide a greater depth of analysis in terms of how we talk about poverty, the games, and other things within the narrative.

Such as how if you were a wheelchair user in the districts, especially D8-12, you wouldn't have access to a mobility aid, so you are either forced to find or create an unsuitable mobility aid such as a cane or are effectively left without aid. On top of this, if they did have a wheelchair (I highly doubt it!) It would be taken away because it could be used as a weapon ( like Glimmer's ring or Mags's cane- also, wheelchairs make good battering rams), so you would be left immobile. We could also discuss how D1-D4 are wealthier and how that affects things like disability and healthcare compared to D7, 8, 9, 10,11,12. Also how D1, D2, D3 and 5 or 6 have the materials or would be the Districts most able to make mobility aids if the Capitol even let them.

This is also a double-edged sword because I know if this conversation around disability within THG starts, there will be many that are going to have some terrible takes. It's going to make my blood pressure rise, and it'll be a nightmare to combat and, as a disabled woman, worse to read. And if this discussion does take off, then I'm gonna need this fandom to understand the three models of disability at a bare minimum! Not that you can't comment without that knowledge at all it just will save a lot of bad takes!

DISCLAIMER- I am just one disabled woman. There are plenty of disabled ppl within this fandom with a different opinion from mine, and I AM NOT AN EXPERT on disability!

TLDR: Many of the characters are disabled and yet face ableism within fandom when they shouldn't. We should start explicitly analysing the series through a disability lens on top of the ones we already explore, but I am terrified by the terrible takes and analysis that would occur.

Thank you for sending in an ask; I'm always happy to answer more! Also, I'm so sorry it's so long. It's probably not what you were expecting for an unpopular take ask. I had a huge thought process for this one, and I really wanted to go in-depth and try to make sure others understood!

Also, I love your odesta fanfiic's and can't wait to read more 🙂!

[drdemonprince]

CW: suicide, commitment, psychosis

My sibling is someone who unequivocally says being committed saved their life and was not inherently traumatic outside of the extremely traumatic mental health crisis that led to it. (However, our local psych ER/psych inpatient is probably one of the better ones and does not use any kind of restraints or force medication. They seem to have an okay track record explaining what the pills are and asking if the person can try them, which I get can still be coercive in some cases, but worked well with my sibling. Also, I was visiting them as much as I could every day, which they found really helpful, and I could keep my eye out for any issues.)

My sibling (~30) had a severe psychotic episode that doesn't quite fit any current DSM diagnosis. They went 0 to 100 from no suicidal ideation to actively attempting suicide in front of me due to delusions about being hunted by supernatural entities who would torture them. They finally could not sleep for days, and therefore I could not go to sleep because they'd try to kill themself. They were not dangerous to me intentionally, but one or both of us could have been hurt by me trying to take a weapon from them. They could not think at all outside of panic and delusions and had no short term memory, so they describe themself as having been incapable of understanding their condition. They weren't able to engage with any social interventions, because how would you have the time or bandwidth if you were living in terror of demons about to torture you and couldn't remember conversations from an hour ago?

They went to the hospital voluntarily after being stopped from attempting, but then they were committed because of aforementioned memory issues when they shortly informed the doctors they had to leave and kill themself. In a moment of lucidity, they were glad to be there, but they just couldn't stay lucid from moment to moment. Trying to get outpatient help in the weeks all this was escalating had been fruitless, with a lot of dismissive assholes, but these particular inpatient docs actually cared and asked how they were doing and figured out a dose of antipsychotics that made it all just... stop like a switch had been flipped.

Once they weren't operating under the terrifying delusions, they 100% did not want to die and were so relieved I stopped them and got help from others when it was becoming too dangerous to us both for me to intervene alone. I get that this kind of crisis is really different from living with chronic suicidal ideation or depression, which is something I personally deal with on a low level, but it was a genuine, terrifying situation where someone's expressed wishes were the opposite of what they wanted when they could understand their situation more fully.

I am allowed to share this, but if this is somehow not on anon, please delete it. Stigma about psychosis is REAL.

Yo this is super helpful, thank you for sharing. One of the trickier aspects of upholding disabled people's autonomy and taking a harm reductionist approach to suicide and self-harm is the fact that people in a state of psychosis may temporarily want something they would otherwise never want.

Though with some experience working through it with a caring and informed support network, it is possible to stand in for the person's stated desires and help them get through the period of lacking lucidity -- and of course psychosis can become a lot less destabilizing with time. i know someone who relies on a close friend to help ground them when they're having delusions and hallucinations -- a quick phone call is now enough to convince them they don't need to kill themselves, but that's after years of getting used to having psychotic states.

glad you and your sibling found solutions and made it through this okay.

[inuette]

Wtf even *is* a 'radqueer'?! My attempts to research this all led to bizarre shit like people thinking they're actually dinosaurs (or were in a past life) or that fetishes are a legitimate sexuality, or insisting that white supremacy is actually okay as long as you feel guilty about it??? Does radqueer just mean 'any random bizarre shit is my identity/sexuality and if you find that odd you're some form of phobic'?? Because that's how it reads from the outside.

You can find the original 'coining' post of radqueers in our archival post. However, the group is essentially made up of people who use terms like 'transracial,' 'transage,' 'transspecies' which belonged to other groups (transracial to adoptees, transage to systems, age regressors, those who are agestuck due to trauma, etc. and transspecies belonging to otherkin, alterhumans and nonhumans) with no regard for their original purpose nor usage.

The community is also pro-para, which wouldn't be a problem in and of itself if it weren't for the fact the community does have beings who are pro-contact (meaning they support acting on one's paraphilias, whether harmful or not.) Paraphilias do not inherently make one immoral, seeing as not everyone wants to act on their paraphilias, but there are large groups in the radqueer community who encourage acting on it.

They also 'coin medical disorders' (known as MUDs, medically unrecognized disorders) which I hope you can see the issue of.

The issue with their usage of TransIDs isn't that they support transitioning (transdisabled is typically used by those with BIID, if other treatments do not work and amputations or other things are the only option left to deal with your dysphoria, then it's the only option left. Or with transspecies, wearing fursuits, paw gloves, etc. to help deal with your dysphoria doesn't hurt anyone. Our support of transitioning does not extend to transage, transracial, or other 'coined' Radqueer terms). It's that they've stolen terms that belonged to other groups of people.

It's that they trivialize these identities by labelling them as 'trans,' causing outsiders to view them a as an 'equivalent' to what transgender means. On top of that, there are most definitely beings who use transIDs and transX terms for the 'aesthetic' due to its broad definition. The original terms were meant to help those who are mentally ill (i.e. have psychosis and suffer delusions in some way), experience atypical dysphoria, or a disconnect from their physical body for other reasonings.

There's most definitely more, but I believe this covers the basis of it.

[little-cirrus-fibratus]

Schizophrenia: too many connections

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or a professional, I am simply describing my experience and how I view my schizophrenia

Tw: description of the process of psychosis

I am open to discussing this and if I say anything wrong you are welcome to correct me, remember to be kind.

I have noticed that it seems as though to me schizophrenia is that there are too many connections, and I have noticed that through looking closely at the "prodromal stage" to my psychosis, because my psychosis doesn't just usually come out of nowhere, there is a buildup and it goes like this:

Trigger: this is where a trigger to a psychotic thought comes in, it may be that someone says something along the lines of: "what if psychotic people see the actual reality" or "I am in your walls" (be so kind as to not say that to a psychotic person). To me it is that I think that people are hinting at the fact that they hate me, usually through critique of something that is an inner part of my core.

Anxiety: this is starting to worry about something that is tangential to what your psychosis usually revolves around. For me it is social anxiety, where I start worrying that I do everything wrong or miss the social cues or I say something wrong or offend someone or do something embarrassing etc. This is where you start connecting things.

Confusion: this is where the psychosis starts to kick in, this is the worsening of cognitive symptoms. You start forgetting things and you get distracted and it starts getting harder to talk and make sense in general. You start getting a whole bunch of epiphanies and aha moments, where things feel like they suddenly make sense and you might start getting quite philosophical and get good ideas and become creative. But I think the confusion is due to the fact that your reality starts swaying from the common reality and you keep thinking about this one thing that your psychosis revolves around and you're really distracted by it, the common reality is suddenly unimportant.

Paranoia: suddenly everything makes sense, you've figured it out, and you are quite sure that the connection you've made is the right one and you're going with it.

The thing is though that that connection isn't even there. I think that schizophrenic people make too many connections and have a hard time prioritising which connection makes the most sense. There is too much information but also a lack of ability to prioritise what makes sense.

Do you relate? Does this make sense? Please add your input.

[the-creature230307]

do not interact with the user @/sillylittlekittyx3.

i hate to be apart of drama and things like that but as they get more prominent in the community i just want to warn users about them.

Please do not bully this person as they have mental health issues, just block!

i would appreciate if this post was spread around, but you don't have to.

info under the cut, tw: abuse, lying, manipulation.

Since their name is public and it is not their legal name then i will call them by this name.

Currently they are living in my home for reasons I do not wish to disclose.

I have known them for about 4 months and my current boyfriend of one and a half years, Quinn, and i used to be in a polyam relationship. When we were in this relationship, Quinn made me do things with him that i didn't want to do. my mother made a house rule that we can not go into each other's rooms without mom present for our safety. Quinn did not follow this rule. Not only did he not follow this rule but he would also go into my room, and would not leave unless i gave him what he wanted.

Most of the time what he wanted was physical affection. I will not explain fully but I have a history of sexual trauma and he has a history of sexual agression, even so to the point where he was detained for it.

He has been to a psych ward recently due to hurting himself for attention. I have a past of being in and out of mental hospitals due to depression, so when i say he was faking it all, he was faking.

he was choking himself for attention, and i know this because i tried to commit suicide by hanging before. when i tried to commit suicide for many days after i was coughing up blood, i had marks on my neck, and it was sometimes hard to breath and swallow.

He did not have any of these problems as it was not a real attempt, he was not trying to kill himself, he was faking for attention.

He's done other things for attention as well.

A very common pattern i see in his behavior is that any time i struggle with my *real, diagnosed* issues he will mirror me.

When i got overstimulated in a restaurant, he suddenly pretended to be upset and started hurting himself. When i talked to my mom about toe walking and how walking on my heels makes me feel like they're on fire, he quoted me exactly and started toe walking. another example is when i was talking about my migraines he told me that opiods would help with it. when i said no, that pain meds don't help almost always and that i also don't want hard drugs. he fired back at me and claimed that he always had really bad headaches and that he'd want to take opiods for it. he also claimed that his mother has migraines and that he got it from her.

i know for a fact that these things are untrue as he's had many psychological and physical evaluations, and as he is in my mother's custody i know what he has. when i first met him he would always have seizures. after my mom called him out on it and threatened him he stopped and no longer has seizures or "moments of psychosis".

He not only does this with mental illness but also identity.

when i was talking about being a otherkin, he suddenly identified as a therian and more theriotypes kept popping up every day. when i talked about questioning my gender suddenly he was nonbinary. when i talked about my sexual trauma suddenly he had sexual trauma. when i was having an allergic reaction suddenly he had allergic reactions, which, if you have real allergic reactions its pretty easy to tell when someone is faking them. there was no swelling, rash, throwing up, etc. not only this but also the story about his identity changes every time. he's also lied about being intersex and ethnically jewish. his family did a dna test on him, he is not from jewish descent.

on top of all of that, he will not admit things that he actually struggles with. he has drug, alchohol, and sex addictions. when confronted his history is always different. he says that he doesn't have those problems, and he gets agressive both physically and verbally.

another thing to mention is that i posted a video to this account a while ago when my blog was called "wolf-pup" of me wearing a tail, this video has since been deleted. if you check quinn's account you will see this tail, i will use this as proof of me personally knowing quinn.

TLDR; they are manipulative. abusive physically, sexually, and mentally. he in general just isn't a safe person to be around.

[redphlox]

Do you think it's possible that we may see the new Todoroki house in the end? I really hope so, although I have a small fear that Hori may have tossed that idea out.

That was one of the very few aspects of Endeavor's atonement arc I actually enjoyed. Him building a new home for them to live in without all the horrible memories from the old home. It would have been a place for them to heal and be a family together. It felt like it was foreshadowing the family being together and whole again. I always loved and look forward to seeing the new Todoroki home in the end, especially since it seemed like it heavily foreshadowed a healthy ending for the Todoroki family.

Although, with what we have currently in canon, I am a little afraid Horikoshi may have flip-flopped a little too much and forgot about the new Todoroki home.

As it stands now, Endeavor can't live alone in the old home because he's going to need a caretaker. Chapter 426 it looks like Rei is going to be his caretaker now. Touya will need to stay in the hospital due to his condition.

I do think it's still possible we'll see the new Todoroki family house in the end. After all, Endeavor had it built with the idea that the family could be together and heal apart from him, and he's still of this mindset. The house imagery has been a common motif throughout the story - look at Tenko and Toga's backstories. Tenko's home is destroyed, Toga's home is destroyed, and their families are gone because they either died and can't come back or don't want anything to do with their kid. But here sits this new, shiny, trauma-free house for the Todorokis who haven't abandoned their villain son Touya and WANT him in their lives despite the hell of it all. The new Todoroki house is there for a reason, narratively. As for Rei being a caretaker - there are many cultural elements at play regarding forgiveness, disability, and the duty of caring for a spouse. However, I personally, absolutely loathe the idea of Rei having to care for her abuser on multiple levels - morally, in terms of justice for abuse survivors, gender roles and stereotypes, and through a disability perspective. It's appalling that she lost ten years of being with her children, only to have to care for the person who took her away from them, especially since one of their children doesn't want to be near Endeavor. Also, not to mention the fact that the caretaker doesn't HAVE to be Rei. Expecting her to be his caretaker negates the guilt he feels about pushing her into a psychosis. "Hey, sorry about abusing you to the point that you threw scalding water on our son because he reminded you of me. Now you have to be my 24-hour helper and look at me all the time, though." It falls flat. He could hire someone. But above all else, if we're talking realistically, I disagree that Endeavor can't live alone and that he'd need a caregiver. My career is literally just this - rehabilitating people from injury and illness, etc. If Endeavor were my patient, I'd say he would be a great candidate for prosthetics and could learn different adaptations, techniques, and skills to become independent. He could even still be independent at wheelchair level, and would require less help than what other manga readers are imagining. There's even an example of this through Miruko, who also has two amputations, just like Endeavor, but now has prosthetics. And even if he needed help (which is completely fine - no one is morally obligated to become independent), he could hire someone to help. Lol. I want to type a much longer, more nuanced discussion about how BNHA frames disability, but that's for another post. This discussion is a lot more complex than what I just stated and I want to touch on many aspects, including how disability is portrayed in the general media and specifics in BNHA. Anyway… I went on a little tangent - but yes, I think the Todoroki house could come up again. I'm hopeful. Hori set these things up for a reason and I'm expecting he follows through. Endeavor and Dabi losing their arms also has set up to bring back a certain gag from the Stain arc.