#which took some adjusting
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A couple more watercolor esk, testing out some new paper! It turns out that uh, using high quality watercolor paper has some benefits huh.
#watercolor#twwm#quirk#drawing stuff#i did find that the 300lb cotton paper was way more ink-smudgy than the cheap paper i had been using#which took some adjusting#and the bottom one is on hotpress paper and the smoothness was almost a little disconcerting#but i have these sitting on my desk and the paper is SO flat. beautiful#these were just sample cards but maybe i'll have to try picking up some more#really entering my watercolor era....#also i saw a new gall and gave it to quirk :)
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zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it
#and im sick of letting them#cus why my lil nephew not even ten yet saying that and 'acting 'zesty' ' with his friends#i hate sounding like a boomer like i value the upside of technology#but u give humans / ANYONE rlly a chance to relax and a lot will turn it into laziness / neglect just because they can#like it's good to spread awareness but it's maybe likeeee. Not a good thing to spread statements/stereotypes with no further explanation#and peddle it to CHILDREN#whose comprehensions skills are. surprise. that of a CHILD'S#i say this ironically. btw#'oh im so mature for my age' no bro ure an immature HUMAN whos being forced to immaturely consider urself mature#due to the nature of ur relationships and homelife (or more-so the lack/negatives of them)#like it's ok to be a little stupid#as long as u keep trying to improve instead of just sitting in fault#or acting like they dont exist#anyways this got off topic but ya. crazy#kids have been killing each other n crazy shit like that but lately the crazy murder stories have HEAVILY leaned into#a misunderstanding of materialism#instead of just 'i wonder what it feels like' it's 'she took my ipad & also i wonder what it feels like'#like the first was already scary enough & now we've got this shit???#empathy is going thru a downside and we need to adjust the scales back!!!#im not gonna act like this is some new never seen b4 onset of fear impacting a generation after mine#bcs it's not never seen before in LIFE.. it's just never been seen b4 in UR life. which can feel like LIFE LIFE bcs like. uve only got one#that u may be cognizant of or etc religion aspect insert here. the point is. history repeats itself. but the points of history#can vary in visibility. some events get more notice than others bcs history's voice is ppl & actions & sometimes that gets erased#this isnt some bastardization point of one generation. but it IS a flaw that can show up in any gen (usually the oncoming ones)#bcs changes can be comfort & discomfort & the one u'd usually consider negative isnt always#anyways what im trying to say is. we need empathy back up period. always. we need empathy#lack of it is concerning. end of argument
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anyway walking out of my first watch of S4 feeling more confident and happy with the scope, pacing, and execution of the season than i did on my first watch through of S6 just goes to show you'll truly never know how people are gonna react to well, anything
#aka s6 is good and beautiful i just had to adjust#which s4 also took some adjustment of overarching plotting but#yeah#s4 is my best friend#dragons rambles#forbidden op lore#& now i prefer s6 over s4 but. see how i minded my business lmao
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I get so shocked everytime I get sweet and enthusiastic comments/tags on screenshots I post of Ieeha, cause this is the guy on whom I would regularly receive both anons and ingame tells saying shit like "your midlander looks weird", "he'd be so much cuter as a miqo'te" and "your character is ugly you should buy a fantasia" for YEARS
#WHICH IVE NEVER AGREED WITH#sure my confidence in him took a nosedive and i had to put him on the shelf for 2 years#before i could even stand to look at him before feeling sick to my stomach with shame#especially since id adjusted him in ways i didnt like to make him ''palatable'' in rp#and i mean. tumblr had a weird sense of hostility at male midlanders for some reason up until shb#but it still sucked!!!! like... i hate how i let that ruin ieeha for me#and it took a good while after i revamped him to truly feel comfortable#but now im happier than ever with him hes EXACTLY how i want him to be#and i am thriving and making that everyone elses problem <3333#anyway all this to say i appreciate that people are so sweet here now#because it means a lot to hear for ieeha specifically#silvi talks
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starting shadowing at a vet clinic tomorrow!!!
#i am very excited#they took a while to get back to me but now i should be all set#it’s a community spay and neuter clinic so i should get to observe surgeries which will be cool#hopefully this will also function as something to help me get an entry level veterinary job in the next year or so#i’m gonna aim to try to get that either later this year or next summer#i’m retaking organic chemistry in the fall so i think i wanna put off also adjusting to a new job while taking the hardest class ive ever#done so a veterinary job may end up as a next spring/summer goal which is fine especially since i’ll be getting some experience this summer#a job is less of a priority#and i have a barista job for as long as i need it so having work isn’t an issue
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I really do appreciate the idea behind DeArrow but I really wish it had a block button because some of these people should not be writing titles. Like,
Is it really that bad to phrase a title as a question?
Putting more details in the title doesn't actually improve it
Jesus fucking christ your hyper-descriptive title doesn't even FIT!!
#original#dearrow#not sure which is worse#when the title is perfectly fine but some dickwad is like “hmm but i would prefer to phrase it like this instead”#or when the title DOES need replacing but some dickwad decides it needs to be a whole fucking paragraph that doesn't even fit#these people think videos should be titled like scientific papers#my philosophy is that 1) there needs to be something actually wrong with the title (important info missing or misleading title)#2) the original title should be maintained as much as is reasonable (the “author likes math” example actually did a good job of this)#and 3) limited maximum length (“author likes math” example did a HORRIBLE job of this)#related: that dickwad that keeps setting the thumbnail on gamechamp's vg myths videos#they keep setting it to a screenshot of “Mission Complete” which shows you absolutely nothing about what the actual video will look like#it's like all they care about is the end result of the challenge#also the classic “this title must NOT be phrased as a question!!”#like fuck off it's fine#they even take “VG Myths” out of the titles like dude wtf? what's wrong with a series having a title?#thinking about turning off user-submitted titles because these idiots can't behave#this extension is supposed to fix unclear/misleading titles not for you to personally adjust every title to your preferences#phrasing a title as a question does not count as clickbait#and personality isn't clickbait either! sometimes these people just decide to suck the soul out of a perfectly fine title#no emotion no personality no cleverness it must be a bland description of the events of the video#events which we could have ALREADY INFERRED FROM THE ORIGINAL TITLE#some titles withhold information to get you to click#some titles are substanceless emotion or jokes that tell you nothing#some titles are actively misleading#THOSE are the titles that DeArrow is for#“this guy didn't tell me how many throws it took him to beat pikmin 1” is not withholding information#you know exactly what the video is about
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Did my first exams for my saddlefitting course: an 8 for riders (basic anatomy, biomechanics, what happens if rider does so and so on the horse), and a 7.8 for horses (anatomy, biomechanics, palpating muscles and bones, spotting lameness etc.), so I can confidently move on to the next part: fixing and fitting saddles!
I have a jumping-, dressage- and multipurpose saddle and three older Icelandic saddles to both take to school with me and to practise at home.
And my dad offered to clear out his old office which he doesn’t use anymore so I have a place to practise now and work next year.
🎉
#*myhorses#sort of#I WAS SO NERVOUS FOR THIS TEST LET ME TELL YOU#but! did a lot of things to really have some insight#like visiting the university in Utrecht where lots and I mean LOTS of skeletons are available to look at up close#took my riding instructor who used to be a vet with me for some extra help#got to see the ligaments ON the cervical and thoracic vertebrae#and a lot of the inside of horses…which took an adjustment in the head for a bit#but fascinating to see#and I went to see other riders ride with the sole purpose of just looking at what they’re doing#how do they sit in the saddle? how’s their posture? how does it influence where the saddle sits and how the horse moves?#good practical experiences#and my instructor is so so helpful to have with
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill���’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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IA 2.0 voisona test with a short version of drag on dragoon's ending B song tsukiru/exhausted :) now i can hear Lia's beautiful dulcet tones sing scary scary songs
#vocal synth wip#maybe i'll finish it. not sure if im fully happy with the base file yet. ive been working on it + the growing wings ver for a thousand year#the timing is super tricky. why did i decide to make an svp of the most intentionally muffled smothering whispering song on earth#as my first attempt at making an svp by myself. why did i do this myself#also the instrumental probably needs work since its just a basic like software remove vocal situation LOL#there is no official instrumental rip..... i think someone had made a nice piano instrumental like five years ago but the videos down so#this is all we got LOL#the base file was an svp because i started this whole project in sv because..... its easier for me LOL BUt also i didnt feel like dealing#with the whispering in the bg of the original so i was like. just gonna make a flat track and maybe output the aspiration separate#and like fuck around with that until it sounds weird enough. but voisona and cevio dont have that function so i just stopped at the main#vocal + the chorus double. which also i have been so spoiled by sv scripts. randomize timing my beloved. i had to manually randomize it her#it took.... a thousand years 😔😔😔😔 although i guess thats fine since the tuning is like mostly default with just some tiny adjustments#i was more interested in messing with the different voice expressions and stuff in voisona <3 IA 2.0 has like this awesome exhale expressio#that im in love with because like. okay the one thing i think UTAU banks always have on any other synth is the end breath situation#no other software has given me as expressive end breaths as ur average utau bank. but IA's exhale is getting there!!!#also hopefully this isnt too loud. this is a very loud song. drakengard is a very loud game#edit: i mixed this like deliriously melting from a lack of AC and a bajillion percent humidity and listening back i now realize how#fucked up the volume levels are LOL ia's a BIT too loud and that double should be messed with a lot#but it works for demo purposes i think at least. kinda
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We're having pavlova for easter dessert so I made the dog a sugar-free "paw"lova so she wouldn't feel left out ^_^
#it's super easy to make on the side. just scoop some out before you add the sugar#and bake it in the oven while you finish making the actual meringue#i accidentally added too much sugar to the actual meringue (forgot to adjust for the egg white i took out)#so i probably won't add any to the whipped cream. which works out well for the dog since that's her favorite treat#pawlova and whipped cream. she is so spoiled -_- <- guy actively spoiling her#i will post pics of the actual dessert when it's done 👍
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lmaooooo i think i need to quit teaching forever and also bury myself in a hole. lol
#purrs#grading papers on a sunday and the WAYYYYY this one students paper just hurt my feelings so fucking bad. i mean it’s not just hers but like.#god. it’s the most childish thing in the world (which makes sense / is the literal problem. that i am a child.) but im coteaching this class#(WHICH I TOOK and my co-instructors were MY instructors and now im replacing one of them who’s also the one who left in july lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍) and#ive had WICKED impostor syndrome bc… not to air it all out but im airing it all out bc im so mad lol. they’re both older men with phds and w#wives and families and im a 24 year old in the first year of her career with a bachelors degree who stilllives at home w her parents and#also the two of them and the third instructor literaly developed this class together and again i TOOK IT as a student in their class 2 years#ago. so again… WICKED impostor syndrome. and the class is all abt figuring out how to thrive in different contexts that are constrained by s#social norms so it’s relevant to talk abt impostor syndrome and i have talked about it. and also i get substantial parts to lead in the#classes and whatever and take attendance and grade papers and send out emails to the whole class etc etc. so WHY are the other two#instructors getting shoutouts in the papers and i am getting… NOTHING!!!! naught a SINGLE mention. when i am literally fucking LIVING#THROUGH the things we’re taking abt in class abt the first year of ur career and impostor syndrome and shit……. oh iknow why! because they#don’t actually see me as an instructor because im short and a nothing girl and an IMPOSTOR!!!!! LOLLLLL 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 and the book chapter was the#same too lol like im the only co-author who doesn’t actually get individually named as making a contribution in the text of it and nobody#noticed but me because it’s a stupid thing to notice but i still noticed. awesome. i love being invisible and not actually mattering ♥️ <#<- has the mental illness that makes you utterly unable to see evidence of how you actually do matter and only hyperfocus on the evidence th#that you don’t <- but also is trapped in the psychijc prison of some parts of her environment telling her she does matter and other parts t#telling her she doesn’t so can you blame her for going CRAZY!!!!!!!!! like is this literally not the normal well adjusted reaction to have#to GENUINELY LEGITIMATELY JUSTIFIABLY upsetting thigns. when the circumstances are fucked up and deleterious 😍😍😍😍😍😍#delete later#oh also im apparently not even an official instructor in Da System (which is a problem and it is not supposed to be that way) so i won’t#even get to read abt how the students fucking forgot about me and think im a nothing girl because they won’t even have a chance to give me#that feedback!!! lol. i think * and * should just do everything together because they are both qualified to do it. and i should spin off#into the abyss and quit my job and never be heard from again. that’s how this shit makes me feel. like ik it’s just a couple of students and#their opinions literally don’t matter but im like hm how about i go fuck off then since clearly i don’t make a difference to you. lole <3#* i won’t get that feedback etc etc bc i am not going to get course evals because im not in Da System. lol ♥️
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quastion. if you were a high schooler looking to take the least stressful lab science would you taking physics or chemistry
i think this is a simpler question of which do you enjoy more? for me i would choose physics over chemistry any day but that’s because i hate chemistry and so all chem labs i took were boring and stressful, and i love physics so the labs were fun and interesting
however if both subjects are equally uninteresting to you, then i do recommend physics! maybe i'm biased, but i think even personal interest aside, my high school chem labs were definitely more involved and complicated than my high school physics labs. physics experiments in lower level classes such as high school (and even introductory college physics to some extent) are pretty simple to set up and conduct, the main understanding comes from doing the math afterwards to get any sort of result out of it, whereas chem was more like, actually mixing stuff and then observing
not only were physics labs easier, simpler, and more engaging, but each lab also was unique and distinct from each other. i really can only recall the same basic setup of like, mixing stuff together as the idea behind every single chem lab i did. the exact way you mixed them together differed of course but that was the main idea
meanwhile some examples of physics labs i recall from high school include:
projectile motion: most likely you will roll a marble down a ramp off the edge of the lab table, measure the horizontal and vertical distances it traveled, maybe time it also or use a photogate to measure the velocity, or something, and then use the kinematic equations to find any missing variables, and then through all that you will probably be to told to find the value of g, what is known as the acceleration due to gravity, aka the rate at which things fall.
circular motion: you may be using a FLYING PIG to demonstrate circular motion!!! figuring out the tension in the string, the idea of centripetal force, centripetal acceleration, rates of revolution, etc.
harmonic motion: push some slinkies around, demonstrate hooke's law and spring force, calculation of frequency and oscillation, maybe observing resonant frequencies and resonant modes
standing waves: using some sort of low tech version of a standing wave generator to observe, well, standing waves. the high school version of this lab i believe was very surface level and was mostly just drawing how different standing waves looked, counting the nodes and antinodes, and predicting it for different frequencies. i think the teacher even got us a giant rope and we had to recreate the lower frequency standing waves together as a class by just oscillating it ourselves
all around, in my experience at least, high school physics labs are so much more involved and engaging than chem ever was. and while the math involved in the physics class was more daunting than chem, it was such a fun and interactive class. and again i may be biased but i think, if both chem and physics are uninteresting to you but you need to choose one anyway, i think having a basic background in physics is a lot more useful and goes a lot further than a basic background in chem does. i truly believe that knowing stuff about the kinematic equations, circular motion, free body diagrams, harmonic motion, etc etc will enrich your life further and change the way you see the world around you. high school physics will not make you an expert but it can certainly make observing patterns in life and how the natural world operates a lot more fun and exciting
#sorry i am INCAPABLE of ever giving a brief response when it comes to physics stuff lol#ask#Anonymous#literally the only chem lab i remember is titration and i cant even tell you what titration is anymore#all i know is that it was long and frustrating and the word makes me shudder years later#like some acid and base type shit i really could not tell you#but by far my most vivid memory of any science class i took in my 4 years of high school .was the fucking flying pig in physics#i will say i did get far better grades in chem. but despite that i also felt like i understood way fucking less as i was going through it#which made it its own brand of stressful#my grades in physics were my worst in high school but even despite that i still felt like i was retaining and learning so much more#and despite the complexity of the subjects increasing throughout the school year my grades actually increased as well#its truly just like a rough learning curve at first adjusting to the class compared to previous science classes#and if your physics class is like how mine was and you all get bad grades then a good teacher will offer opportunities#for you to earn points back and that also means that concepts get reinforced in your head#so despite getting a 60 on an exam he will make us basically redo the exam and relearn the concepts#and earn an 80 on it once we're done with exam corrections#so you will get a better grade in the end AND actually LEARN from doing badly on the exam#so what im saying here is: it also depends on the teacher. so if you get a bad teacher who just gives you a bad grade and moves on#then like. the class will not be enjoyable. and will be stressful. but if you have a good teacher then it should be fine#and you WILL get bad grades. you just will. but dont sweat it because literally everyone will always get bad grades#and a good teacher will give you the opportunity to make up for those bad grades. bc its unfair to punish you for it.#since everyone always gets bad grades. lol
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goal: Be Less Aggravated by the time dnd starts
#speculation nation#my morning was fine. coding lab took the whole time lol but i successfully coded with GUI!!!#last week the lab was very much them just tossing code at us to replicate but this week i had to actually figure it out#with taking inputs via JTextField & figuring out how to update that#essentially an interesting placeholder string thing but Specifically with a designated spot#i'd like to figure out how to position things better tho. i just kinda adjusted the frame size to make it line up well#bc with a wider frame it was just a MESS. but i didnt have time to learn formatting lol#but i learned inputs and how to work with the JLabels too. which is really exciting#dusting off the cobwebs with getters and setters & setting up instances of objects#but the GUI stuff is all new. bc they had us working with a uhh a thing that just kinda did all the GUI stuff for us in my last class#so i never actually learned how GUI works lol. but im learning now!!!#still very simple text boxes in a pop up window. but it is still Something.#wow i sure did just talk about my coding thing huh#BESIDES THAT i went into work for a bit to do some things. then went home and played more tales of arise.#then went to class. got pissed off. then did manager meeting. and here i am.#trying to practice... mindfulness... trying to not be super aggravated... with mixed results lol#i just need a tasty drink. maybe that will fix me.
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If NASCAR can make stock cars (this means chassis and shape that are the same as yours) that can go 200mph and wreck head-on and do a dozen flips in the air, and the worst that happens is a concussion, with the car even still almost intact, then you can make a street legal car do the same at 40% of that speed.
Here's one of the wrecks btw. He was taken to a local hospital for observation, not even a concussion (NASCAR reports injuries to everyone for transparency), and he raced the next week. (Although he did have a couple bruised eyes iirc)
youtube
He climbed out of the car almost completely under his own power.
#undescribed#irl death /#yes yes nascar cars are significantly more expensive#but iirc it's the engine that's the most expensive besides labor#but the difficulty in keeping the driver safe goes up exponentially as the speed increases#and for this type of racecar and the types of tracks they drive they cannot safely go over 210mph#which is why they mandate the restriction of air intake to the engine during superspeedways#but that's besides the point#i watched it live and thought i watched a man die#the nascar policy is to not show replays of a crash until we know the driver is okay (ie they drive off or get out of the car and can walk)#also they have flaps to keep the cars on the ground but it occasionally doesn't work#don't get me wrong: sometimes nascar has serious injuries#in 2021 i think it wasone of the biggest names got a concussion so bad he had to retire midseason#but they also came back i think it was the next week with adjustments on every car to keep it from happening again#and some years ago between 2009 and 2014 one driver got a compression fracture in his spine#i think the same crash broke his leg?#also i wasn't actively watching nascar then so idk for sure but they more than likely took his car to the r&d people to figure out went#wrong to keep it from happening again#(''oh but dale earnheardt!'' he had an open faced helmet. nascar changed its rules about safety after he died and made several safety things#mandatory. including closed helmets.)#anywho#what tesla probably does is sees those little wrinkles and hardens their steel more so it won't bend ever#Youtube
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none of this writing has charming soap opera drama appeal i feel like im reading bad wattpad fanfic turned novel drama instead.
#im sorry to be a hater but absolutely nothing has primed me to like remotely any of this. i feel bad not even trying to find some worth#but i cant 😭 i just cant. i do think mike is fun though. some meaning there.#but i've been stuck in silver and bronze land and the last most recent run i reread was w.aid#i mean. i did just read some of so.ule's run. it was alright but i had to read a very select portion so. didnt help to build up with me#sadly. wasnt bad tho. but im like mannnn... i miss the current character voice im used to so i feel so Huh when im reading rn#bc those two matts feel quite different than the ones i am particularly fond of. which is like yes natural character development#but it also just feels So different. this is my own problem though#i have a very particular mix of matt character voice in my brain. silver/ very early bronze + n.ocen.ti + w.aid. this is my matt soup#so im still like. dumb as it sounds Adjusting! also b.en.dis resides in there too but is harder to remember#bc the last time i touched it really was in my freshman year of college.#so it's been a minute and is not quite within that soup but it's an underlying flavor. same w/ ann. though underlying in a different way#bc even tho i read this year it isnt the most Thorough sticking and super distinct to his voice (i have a very broad meaning when i say tha#but it is definitely an informative flavor. but soapy antics and happy matt are highly definitive of my current view#so im like huh. im not quite into grittier writings of matt yet. aside from like. be.nd.is. but i still dont find it the same brand of grit#ok rethinking even though i say it's not in there it is it's very much one of those things you dont realize is like something carrying#a lot of the flavor within the soup but if you took it away it would be mega lacking. ok. there#done with my soup metaphor. anyways. point is Im Still Trying To See How This Matt Works In My Mind#not bc im resistant (to s.oul.e. im highly resistant to z.da.rsk.y) to him. but it's like. it's not quite the best to work with all these#other variations and informative to my viewings. i know i said i was done with soup metaphor but i lied. it's like they arent. terrible. bu#and dont necessarily ruin the soup (im gonna be real and say this only applies to s.oul.e. the other guy is ruining the soup). but dont fit#the flavor profile of it very well. like it kinda works. but it throws it off. just a bit. NOW IM DONE.#static.soundz
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#so incredibly stressed rn#2/3 cats took to the move ok#but the biggest most anxious one is not handling it well#I’ve got him in a room but he’s constantly crying for me and I can’t stay with him long or the other start up#which wouldn’t be such an issue if we weren’t sharing walls and I wasn’t worried about a noise complaint#I know it just takes some time to adjust but#i’m just so exhausted#and stressed#it’s only been 3 days
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