#don’t actually see me as an instructor because im short and a nothing girl and an IMPOSTOR!!!!! LOLLLLL 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 and the book chapter was the

[pepprs]

lmaooooo i think i need to quit teaching forever and also bury myself in a hole. lol

[artificialqueens]

Drabble Compilation (Trixya, Biadore) - Candy Cane

A/N: a bunch of drabbles ive written over on my side blog @sillylittlecandycane !! im accepting prompts over there if you are interested uwu here’s the list of everything in here: 1.) Trixya, half drag dance challenge 2.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya 3.) Biadore, “If I puke, will you hold my hair back?" 4.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya sequel 5.) Trixya, "You’ve been crying, I can tell." 6.) Biadore, Adore visiting Bianca in Palm Springs

1.) Trixya, half drag dance challenge For a split second there Katya was ecstatic about being Trixie’s partner for this challenge, then she remembered she has a huge fucking crush and is definitely going to wind up making a fool out of herself. Trixie’s clearly excited though, so Katya decides she’ll try to swallow down those feelings, and focus on keeping that smile on Trixie’s face.

Neither of them are really dancers, but Trixie definitely is a country girl, so she’s somewhat more familiar with it than Katya. The older is still nervous, she’s not used to this kind of thing, not by any stretch of the imagination. She’s done choreo before, any given drag queen has, she just hasn’t had to learn it in such a short amount of time before.

After learning what they could with the instructor and are back in the workroom to practice, Trixie turns to Katya and grabs her hands. Katya stares down at them with wide eyes, just now registering she’s been dancing with Trixie.

Cute, sexy, funny fucking Trixie.

“We have so got this,” Trixie says, all the confidence in the world embodied in that tone.

Katya looks into Trixie’s eyes and smiles back, “Okay, yeah. We’ve got this.”

It’s exhilarating to have so much confidence in herself, and then to have some in her partner as well. It’s so different from what she’s used to. They’ve still got work to do to make sure they nail this thing all the way to the core of the earth, it’s just not so terrifying anymore. It feels good, it really does.

2.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya Katya’s at the point where she is seriously regretting being pregnant. At the end of the day, it was her choice, but sometimes she thinks it was a bad one. Everything fucking hurts, she’s constantly hungry, she can’t sleep right anymore, and she is always horny. This is just the worst thing ever.

What doesn’t suck is how sweet and loving Trixie, her fucking wife, has been. Katya doesn’t think she’ll ever get over the fact that Trixie is her wife. It’s so surreal! She’s like the best wife ever. Always getting her whatever she wants or needs, even if it’s 2 am and she’s being absolutely ridiculous, Trixie is there to help her and make the best out of a sucky situation.

Katya cuddles closer to Trixie, listening to the soothing sound of the younger’s heartbeat. She’s going to have a baby with this girl. They’re growing their family and it’s just… it’s perfect.

Trixie gently tugs her fingers through Katy’s messy blonde hair as they watch some stupid Lifetime movie. The domesticity of it all is wonderfully stupid. But it’s still stupid. She feels restless, she’s unable to go out and at least dance, she wants to do something.

“I’m bored,” Katya says, frowning slightly.

Trixie giggles a little, and it’s so fucking cute it hurts, “Okay, what do you wanna do?”

“We should go bungee jumping,” Katya says, keeping a straight face.

“Yeah, and then we’ll eat live bugs,” Trixie replies with an eye roll.

Their eyes meet and they erupt into laughter, holding onto each other and enjoying the moment. Katya sighs, and lays her head back down to Trixie’s chest, frowning.

“I’m seven months preggers, there’s like nothing I can do,” Katya groans.

Trixie combs her fingers through Katya’s hair again, “That’s not true. We can still play like uh, board games? We can go back to thinking of baby names, too. Can’t do any worse than my parents.”

Katya looks up at Trixie, a content smile on her lips. At least Trixie is trying for her, which is so much better than she feels she could’ve ever hoped for. The Russian pushes herself up to kiss her wife deeply.

“Or we could…” Katya mumbles against her, a sly offer.

Trixie giggles again, like music to Katya’s ears, “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

3.) Biadore, "If I puke, will you hold my hair back?"

Adore has drunk herself stupid, or stupid-er, again. She needed a night of insane drinking, and boy did she get it. Everyone is looking at her like she should be at rehab, but she doesn’t fucking care. A broken heart can’t be mended with alcohol, but it can be forgotten, at least for a little while.

She downs another shot, and out of the corner of her eyes she sees Detox and Willam laughing at her, while Bianca looks incredibly exasperated. Adore groans and lays her head against the counter, she feels awful and it definitely isn’t just her broken heart.

“B…” she mumbles, lifting a heavy arm to poke her friend.

Bianca rolls her eyes but looks down at her anyways, “What?”

“I don’ feel so good…” she whines, her words slurred.

“Well that’s what happens when you drink more in three hours than Willam does in one night,” Bianca snaps back, the disapproval in her voice strong.

“I’d be offended but you make a good point,” Willam says, giggling.

Adore huffs and stares at her bright red wig and the way it’s sprawled out in front of her. It’s one of her favorites, but it was also her ex’s favorite… God, she misses him so much it hurts like a bitch. Maybe she should throw out the wig, if it’s going to hurt her so much. It’s still a favorite though, and she refuses to allow that dickhead to take more from her than necessary.

Adore realizes she’s been zoning out, and reaches her hand out for Bianca. Her hand finds Bianca’s, and she squeezes it tightly. Bianca’s eyes meet hers, and Adore is overwhelmed with how wonderful and amazing this person is. Bianca’s is basically the definition of perfect, and Adore knows she’s lucky to even be her friend. Though that doesn’t really stop her from pining after Bianca.

“Bia…” Adore whines again.

“What?” Bianca sighs.

“Can we leave?” she asks, quiet and sad.

Bianca looks down at her, and must take some kind of pity, “Yeah, we can go.”

Ten minutes later they’re climbing into the back of an Uber, and Adore is quick to lay her head down in Bianca’s lap. Bianca rubs the back of her neck, and it feels really good because she’s starting to feel really ill.

Adore moans pathetically, “Yanks…”

“Yeah?” Bianca answers her.

“If I puke will you hold my hair back?”

“Sure, but then I’ll beat you up for puking all over me and this fucking car.”

Adore giggles, feeling slightly better with their usual banter, “Love you, Bia.”

“Love you too,” Bianca smiles softly.

4.) Trixya, pregnant!Katya sequel

For almost a year now, Katya’s life has been totally changed. Deciding to actually go through with physically having a child was big enough, but when she was actually pregnant? Everything changed.

Every decision she made impacted the baby. What she ate, what she wore, what she did… Every little thing impacted not just her anymore, but her child too. And she wouldn’t give it up for anything, because sitting here, holding that child in her arms, she knows it was all worth it.

Sitting here in the hospital bed, Katya is mesmerized by her baby. Her eyes are so startling blue, like Trixie’s, and her smile is so vibrant, like Trixie. Katya thinks her baby will be just like Trixie in so many ways. Katya hopes her daughter gets all her good traits, and none of her bad ones. This child helped to save her from addiction, Katya doesn’t want her to fall into it.  

“What are you thinking about?” Trixie whispers, leaning over her shoulder to look into their baby’s eyes.

“How we still haven’t named her,” Katya says, cupping her pretty face.

Trixie rolls her eyes, “Well, we would’ve had that one figured out by now if-” “Really? In front of the baby?” Katya says, trying to play all serious at first, then bursts into laughter at Trxiei’s surprised expression.

“You bitch,” Trixie laughs, lightly slapping Katya’s shoulder.

“But seriously, the kid needs a name,” Katya frowns, “We can’t keep calling her ‘the baby’ forever.”

“It’s only been a day,” Trixie shrugs, “But you’re right.” “I should give her a really complicated Russian name you can’t pronounce,” Katya teases.

“Do you hate me? Is that it?” Trixie plays along.

Katya kisses her though, and the way Trixie turns bright red gets her all emotional all over again.

“I’ve been in love with you since we met,” Katya reminds her once they break apart.

“We should name her Barbara,” Trixie giggles.

“Nevermind, you’re right, I do hate you.”

Trixie cackles, and the baby starts to fuss in response. Both immediately try to calm her down, and luckily do so with minimal effort.

“Maybe… Cherry?” Trixie suggests.

Katya looks at her, then realizes she;s being serious, “Really? Cherry?”

“We could put down like, Cheryl or something on paper, but Cherry is like red, and sweet, and cute…” Trixie explains, blushing some.

Katya purses her lips, looks down at her baby, and grins widely.

“Cherry suits her.”

5.) Trixya, "You’ve been crying, I can tell." There’s tear tracks down Trixie’s cheeks, her eyes are bright red, and she’s even sniffling. It makes Katy’s heart hurt. She doesn’t like to see Trixie upset, that girl is the last person on this earth who should ever cry.

“Katya-” Trixie says, jerking back when she sees the older, clearly having thought she was alone.

“What happened?” Katya asks, stepping forward instinctively. She wants nothing more than to hug her.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Trixie says, unable to meet Katya’s eyes.

Katya frowns, “You’ve been crying, I can tell.”

Trixie looks shocked, but still persists, “I’m fine.”

“I’m never going to believe that,” Katya says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Trixie finally admits.

“Okay, that I can understand,” Katya says, reaching forward to take Trixie’s hand in her own, “But… that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. We don’t have to talk, but let me be here for you. Please?”

Trixie looks up at Katya’s kind, worried eyes, completely taken aback by how genuine her friend is being. Trixie nods, unable to actually form any words, and is almost instantly wrapped up in a strong hug.

The younger places her head in the crook of Katya’s neck, and starts to cry all over again. She doesn’t feel so empty and alone now, though. She feels like maybe if she just stays in Katya’s arms, listening to her reassurances and absorbing her love, for a little while longer then everything will be okay.

6.) Biadore, Adore visiting Bianca in Palm Springs

The sun is shining brightly, the palm trees surrounding the pool sway in the breeze, and Danny feels more relaxed than they have in many, many months. They’re on their back in the center of the pool, letting themself drift and be one with the water. Usually they prefer to go straight to the source, they are a mermaid after all, but there’s something to be said about getting to be alone in the water with their boyfriend.

There’s no one else around, just the two of them, alone and having sexy, fun, romance together. Said boyfriend pops up out of the water  next to Danny, and peers over them, a smirk on his lips. Danny sits up so they’re not on their back anymore, and presses a little closer to Roy.

“Hi,” Roy chuckles, leaning in close to Danny’s lips.

Danny grins, “Hello yourself.”

Roy laughs, but kisses Danny anyways. The kiss is chaste, but still full of love and joy. Danny wraps their arms around Roy’s neck and goes in for another kiss, this one full and sloppy. Roy pushes Danny forward as they soak each other in, until Roy had Danny pinned to the concrete edge, his large hands spanning across Danny’s, currently tiny, hips.

The younger is bad at the whole self-care thing during work, which is one of the many reasons he’s happy to have them here. Now he has an excuse to get real food into Danny, and help them relax.

The two pull away from each other, breathless and smiling, and it’s perfect. The sun on their skin, the clear water around them, and neither would have it any other way.

“We should go annoy the neighbors with your golf cart this afternoon,” Danny suggests, smiling and close to laughter.

“Yeah,” Roy says, close to laughing himself, “We should.”

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

Could I ask headcanons of Black Eagles flirting and crushing on Byleth (professor?)?

[Ask and you shall receive lol. Lately I’ve been busying myself with long reports, so I needed something cutsey to recharge.(Sorry if it’s complete rubbish lol) It’s not much but I hope you like it!]

Edelgard: 

Ehh. She won’t be a student much longer anyways. 

Byleth will always be her professor...but maybe another title can be ticked onto that list? She hopes so. 

However, she doesn’t go too overboard. Just a few teasing gestures and quips every once in a while to sedate the budding sentiment in her heart 

With more pressing issues over love, Edelgard can’t afford to play the role of lovesick schoolgirl 

She sets side her personal feelings for the professor when around others. Instead they are treated as a good friend and adored instructor. Alongside the present given on Byleth’s birthday are a few other trinkets Edelgard picked up herself, you know, because she’s extra 

When alone her thoughts often drift. There are many occasions where work ends up procrastinated 

She keeps everything bottled up inside and doesn’t even hint at the idea of a crush to anyone. To love is to be compromised, to be compromised is to be weak, and to be weak is to fail

This is something she firmly believes until the support of her peers and affection from her professor begin to challenge it 

Perhaps there is room for love in her future 

“My teacher, you are an important companion to everyone here and to myself. You must never forget that”  

Hubert: 

Oh he is smooooth. 

Yet subtle 

He knows that he shouldn’t become too attached considering what’s to come in the future. His mind and body are her highness’ to command

....well, all good things come in moderation anyways. What’s a little meaningless flirting?

His flirting methods follow the ‘attack of opportunity’ plan. Meaning that he tosses in his quips when the time seems fitting 

He knows what he is doing. Never assume otherwise 

Obviously such conduct towards a teacher is unrefined. Does he care? The guy couldn’t give less of a sh*t 

He has 100% commented on their dancing attire at least once

People should mind their own business lest they want to lose their tongue. Can’t gossip when you can’t speak, right?  

If the professor doesn’t seem to mind then why should he stop? If they recuperate then that’s even better

It’s no fun when prey doesn’t fight back once in a while. 

“Oh do go on. The droll behind your ever so taunting tone is intoxicating. It almost makes this insufferable lecture mildly entertaining” -shots fired. Professor or not, ‘love interest’ or enemy, Hubert does not tone down the sarcasm 

No one even suspects that he has an interest in Byleth. He downright makes it appear that they are his sworn enemy (whether this is intentional or not? You decide) 

Caspar:

‘Flirt’? ‘Caspar’? That’s funny

It’s not that he can’t do it. Caspar can be very charming when he wants to be, but why bother? 

They’re his professor. If he starts kissing up to them then the others might start to think he’s pegging for special treatment 

He also doesn’t want them to like a facade. He wants them to like him

Not that he would turn said special treatment down if offered. He d o e s want to get stronger, and the extra time with his “favorite”*wink* professor is a lucky bonus 

He tends to have a ‘lingering eye’ that’s easy to pick up on if you catch my drift

he is not pure hearted, just a dunce. There is a difference

The boy blushes at every little action without even noticing

He loves to watch them train, both to better his own moves and to admire them without it seeming weird 

Literally everyone knows that Caspar has a thing for Byleth before he knows it himself. He’s the kind that mistakes a crush for admiration 

He’s also a big baby when it comes to them giving other people attention. 

He justifies his interruptions as: “The professor doesn’t have time to do __ for __! They have enough to do as it is!” 

Now what does that translate to in Caspar language?: “The time the professor spends doing __ is time they could spend with our class me” 

Someone help him. He’s so thick headed it’s actually sad 

Petra: 

“My apologies. I will be returning after the clearing of my head” 

She’s unfamiliar with the courting methods in Fodlan. Are they the same as in Bridgid? 

Thoughts of the professor occasionally will interfere with her study time

Also her appetite. Normally she eats plenty at meals since she hates waste, but the professor makes her nervous about her etiquette 

let’s just ignore that Byleth eats like a ravenous boar

She wants to take them to see Bridgid. It’s only natural to want to share the things you love with those you care about 

She embraces the affection she feels. Byleth is a truly wonderful person and the royal family would gladly accept them if Petra expressed her feelings 

When she returns she wants to ask them to accompany her 

For now she will remain at their side both in battle, in leisure, and in spirit 

Petra also isn’t one to approach with caution. The way she flirts is through honesty 

If they do something she likes then she says so. If they look nice or are trying something new then she’ll comment on it. If she sees something in the shop that they might like, then she buys it 

Petra is simple. She does for Byleth what she thinks will make them happy and doesn’t overthink it in the slightest 

Dorothea: 

The newfound feelings aren’t discouraged nor appreciated. It is a battle between practicality and love for her 

Not because of them being a professor, but everything else 

Mercenary, teacher, reincarnate, solider, tactician, etc. 

Such a dangerous profession with so much blood on their hands. Are those the ones she wants to hold for the rest of their days? 

Will they even live long enough to grow old with her? 

She wants a reliable partner to take care of her and not give her a heart attack on a daily basis. So far only one box is checked 

She will not be a widow at such a young age. She refuses 

When these thoughts emerge Dorothea retracts from Byleth. There’s still the open friendliness that was there before, but now an extra barrier has been put up 

She won’t go out of her way to give Byleth special treatment. Her search for a partner other than them will continue on 

Maybe she’ll find someone else to smash these feelings so that there will be no need to confront them 

Only after they ‘die’ will she stop suppressing them. 

“To think that it took such a disaster for me to see the light. Why do people realize such things when it’s too late?” - she focuses on personal growth until the reunion. Relying on another person to prevent the past from reappearing is not what she wants. 

Ferdinand: 

The best way that Ferdinand can communicate his feelings is through words

He tries. He really tries to come across as a potential life partner for the professor. He can only be a student for so long, and they’re close in age. Logically there is nothing wrong with the possibility of a courtship 

but because speaking ‘frilly’ is a normality the effect is not like how he hoped 

When Ferdinand falls, he falls hard. Yes, he is a flirt. Yes, he stretches himself thin trying to please everyone. Yes, he has his quirks that make him extremely confrontational 

So when he finds someone with the ability to make him both strengthen his morals, question the bigger picture, and grow as an individual (after the whole ‘noble’ mine-bomb) it’s a big deal 

Therefore he will not relent in his pursuit of Byleth unless they explicitly tell him to stop. If words don’t work then he instantly pegs for quality time and acts of affirmation 

Greets them every morning, carries their supplies, invites them to tea, delivers lost items, etc. People really do peg him as a kiss ass. 

He doesn’t get the ‘heart flutters’ that people talk about. When he’s beside the professor he just feels energized. Like he could actually beat Edelgard ‘could’ is the key word in that scentence

“Good morning Professor! If your schedule allows it, would you care to join me for tea later this afternoon? Your company would make it the perfect level of sweetness” 

Linhardt: 

A firm believer of “age is but a number”

It’s more of his personal beliefs that tone down any pursuit of the professor. They are currently in a position of power over him that halts any relationship progression at a professional level. 

So as any healthy person does: he vents any growing affection into his studies

He h a t e s how they make him restless.He’ll be feeling drowsy one moment but then their face will pop into his mind 

He can’t even sleep through class. Not with them there 

Actually works in the class’ favor since he starts contributing to the lectures. If you can’t beat them then might as well join them 

This is how it is during pre-timeskip for the most part. Occasionally he will let his thoughts slip but never any action

He has crests to research and Byleth has students that seemingly want to die by the hour. There is literally no time to flirt 

Now AFTER the timeskip, things are different. Linhardt is a blunt person which sometimes works in his favor. Just so happens that flirting comes naturally to him  

most of the time it doesn’t though

“Could you refrain from doing that? It’s distracting”                                      “Linhardt, i’m stretching. How is that distracting?”                                         “You are an attractive individual. Need I say more?” 

Life is short. He has no filter 

Bernadetta: 

“HI PROFESSOR!”                                                                                       “Afternoon Bernadetta. I see you’re out of your room today”                       “W-what? OH! Yes. Y-y-yEs i aM IM SORRY I’LL GO BACK PLEASE DON’T PATRONIZE MEEEEE” 

She’s scared. What’s new? 

The girl never expected to have these feelings. One night she was painting when what was supposed to be a cloud began to resemble her professor 

It was downhill from there.

Her behavior is exactly the same as prior to her feelings. Being a naturally jittery person works to her advantage, no one suspects a thing! 

Compared to simply being friends it will take longer for her to be comfortable 

She will avoid Byleth at all times outside of lessons. It’s just too hard to communicate anymore 

Eventually her outer shell will crack. The once new feelings will begin to feel normal and the old bernie will be back. Jittery, hyperactive, kind, lovable bernie 

[highpope]

Silver Keys - Ch. One

JJ Maybank x oc / Soulmate AU / Topper x oc

warnings: none, if there are any let me know!

Word Count: 2k ish

Notes: Hi guys, sorry this is so long overdue. I was fighting with this one. But i really wanted to update this story. It’s not my fave but that’s okay. ** As always, reblogs and feedback is welcome and appreciated. 

Masterlist - READ PROLOGUE FIRST :))

June sat at the piano she got for her 16th birthday. She had been saving up for years and finally had enough money for a keyboard. It wasn’t the same as the beautiful grand piano at her instructors, but it did the job. June nervously watched the clock tick down to midnight and tried to focus on the song she was trying to learn. If she came into lessons next week without having learned at least half of it she wouldn’t be on track to play at the recital in a few weeks. It was a big deal to her parents, and June too. The recital was on the mainland with tons of different kids from the surrounding areas. June had never gotten an opportunity to play and she wasn’t about to let worrying about her potential soulmate stop her. 

She took a deep breath and began to play. As the minutes turned to seconds, June was gracefully gliding her fingers up and down the keyboard, trying to make sense of the melodies, allowing the notes to soak into the room. 

On the morning of her birthday, June walked down the stairs into the kitchen to see a note and a box of donuts. It was Saturday, meaning both her parents were working and Olivia, her sister, was going to be sleeping the day away. June grabbed a powder sugar donut from the box and read the note: 

Happy Birthday, Love! We can’t wait to celebrate with you tonight. 

Have fun today, Mom and Dad

She smiles and folds the note up. June was just about to grab another donut when the doorbell rang. She looked at the time, 9:30. There’s no way any family member would be stopping by and Olivia’s friends wouldn’t show up unannounced. June opens the door to reveal JJ dressed in shorts and a light long sleeve t-shirt. 

“Happy birthday Ju Ju!” JJ exclaims.

June rolled her eyes, “God, please don’t call me that.” She opened the door wide to let him in. The nickname originated from June’s younger sister. They were five years apart and she couldn’t properly say June’s name for quite a while. So from ages 5 to 8, she was Ju Ju. 

“Nah, I think 18 is the year we bring it back,” JJ said, slinging his arm around her shoulders. 

“Absolutely not,” June says, tapping his cheek lightly, “Thanks though.” He smiles as she jumps up onto one of the stools in the kitchen, “what’s up?”

“You, miss birthday girl, have very important places to be. Go get dressed.” 

“Where exactly do I have to be?” 

“Well, first, Kie’s and then,” JJ motions like he is zipping his lips and throwing the key away. June narrows her eyes causing him to throw up his hands in defense. 

“Okay, fine, but don’t eat my donuts!” June runs up the stairs and begins to get ready. She decides on a blue tube top, shorts, and a white cropped jacket. She runs a brush through her hair and packs her swimsuit and a few other things in a drawstring before going down the hallway to leave a note for her sister. She tells her where she’s going to be and to call when she gets up. 

JJ and her drive to Kiara’a in his truck, the windows down and the radio stuck on the same channel it’s been on since he got it. They’ve learned to tolerate it. JJ was so proud of the truck when he first showed the pogues. He had gotten a busted down pickup from some guy on the island and fixed it up pretty much by himself. The rest of them promised to never make fun of it. 

“Happy Birthday!” The pogues yell when June opens the door. She can’t contain her laughter. Everyone is wearing pink sparkly party hats. Kie instantly comes over to her, throwing her arms around her neck, “baby is eighteen!” June squeezes back and accepts a hat identical to the rest and hands one to JJ who shuts the door behind them. 

“Looking good, boys.” June laughs at Pope and John B posing in their hats. 

“It’s the required attire didn’t you hear?” John B asks, kissing the top of June's head and Pope slinging an arm around her shoulders. They lead her through the kitchen and the sliding door to the outdoor patio. The lounge chairs are set up along with string lights and a birthday banner. It was perfect. The whole thing, being with her favorite people, the perfect weather. 

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this.” 

“But you deserve it. You’re always the first to do anything for the rest of us,” Pope says. 

“He’s right, Juney,” Kie says, smiling. 

“You’re a bunch of saps,” JJ says plopping into a chair. 

After spending the morning and early afternoon hanging out in Kie’s backyard, the five piled into the van and headed down to the beach. The boys were in the water before June could even set her stuff down. It was arguably not warm enough to swim, but that didn’t stop them. Kie and June decided to layout, occasionally sneaking a few drinks from the water bottle filled with alcohol. 

“So how are you feeling about the whole soulmate thing?” Kie asks, bumping her shoulder against June’s. 

To be honest, June had forgotten all about it. She could barely sleep last night she was so nervous, but now that it could happen whenever, she felt much better.

“Honestly okay.” She admitted.

“Do you think you already know who it is?”

“I mean that happens more often than not, right? Just look at our parents.” Kie’s parents had known each other in high school, having grown up on the island, but didn’t know they were soulmates until later down the line. That happens all the time. Whether or not it’s just coincidence or really is fate, June hadn’t decided yet. 

“I guess you’re right.” She paused before speaking again, “I don’t think I want to already know them. I don’t want to marry someone we went to high school with and be stuck here only for our kids to end up the same way.” Seeing Kiara open up like this made June wonder about her own future. 

“Don’t worry Kie, you’re gonna go somewhere cool like Australia and stop the wildfires and clean the oceans and fall in love with some really hot girl and leave us all behind forever.” 

She moved her sunglasses off her face to hold back her hair, “I could never leave you, but you really think so?”

“Of course. You’re going places. John B, JJ, and I are gonna be stuck here smelling like fish bait until we’re 80.” June gags.

Kiara laughs, making a disgusted face, “what about Pope?” 

“Nah, he’s too good for this place.” They both laugh so hard they don’t even notice the boys had made their way back to where they were laying.

“What’s so funny?” John B asks, shaking out his hair.

“Nothing,” Kie says with a smile on her lips. The boys share a knowing look before dropping it altogether. That’s when June’s phone chimes with a message from her sister. 

Mom said to make sure you were home soon for tonight. We’re almost all set up here.

I guess Aunt Morrane is coming:/

“No,” June groans at the last of Olivia’s message. 

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks, sitting down next to her. 

“My Aunt is coming to dinner tonight.”

“The horror!” John B mocks. 

“Stop! I’m serious. She’s a nutcase.” June replies, throwing a towel at his face. He catches it in one swift motion. 

“Ju it’s gonna be fine.” JJ said reassuringly, “I’ll drop you back off.” 

The pogues only stayed a little while longer before packing up their stuff into the van and parting ways once back at Kiara’s. 

“I won’t have any fun without you,” Kie begged before June got into the truck. 

“You’re gonna be fine.” The rest of the group was going to the first official kegger of the summer. June always missed it. She was sure she would hear all about it tomorrow when she would stop by the chateau with a bunch of water and ibuprofen in the morning to make sure they were all breathing. 

“Hey, thanks, J,” June says when JJ had pulled up in front of her house. 

“No problem,” he starts. June reaches for the door handle, “actually, I got you something.” 

Surprised, June says “You didn’t have to get me anything.” 

He waves her off and reaches into the glove compartment, pulling out a bracelet, “uh. It’s not wrapped or anything.” 

June examines the bracelet, it was a brown braided string with a single pearl threaded in the middle. 

“I love it.” 

“Really?” JJ asks, scrunching up his nose, “because it’s okay if you don’t I just thought-”

“No, no I do. Thank you,” June says and reaches up to kiss his cheek. Just then there is a loud pounding coming from the passenger side window, causing June to startle and drop the bracelet. Both June and JJ lean in to grab it off the floor of the car and smack heads. “Shit, sorry”

“Ow!” 

JJ finally grabs the bracelet and hands it back to her before they are both faced with Aunt Morrane opening the door and practically dragging her out of the truck. 

“You know,” her aunt starts, “darling, everyone is waiting inside.” 

“I’ll just be one second, I promise.” She says flashing a smile to her aunt and pleading eyes to JJ. He tries to hide his laughter. 

Aunt Morrane locks arms with June and begins walking up to their sidewalk, quite literally dragging her by her feet, and begins talking about this show she was watching.

“Happy Birthday, Ju Ju!” JJ yells from the truck. June tries to flip him off as discreetly as possible with her aunt still gripping on to her. 

At the door, her mother engulfs her into a hug, “Happy 18th, love.” 

“Thank you, mama.” 

“Was that JJ? You know he could've come in. We have enough food.”

“It’s okay, Mama, he had plans.” That satisfied her enough as she went to close the door and straight back into the kitchen. June took off her shoes and that’s when she heard it. It only lasted a minute and she couldn’t recite it if she was asked, but it was there. Faint, but clear. Just how Pope had described it. Just how everyone had described it. Her soulmate. 

taglist: @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc (hi im sorry I forgot to tag yall) 

** if you want to be added to the taglist let me know!!

[deadpooly]

Can you write a poly story or oneshot between Steve Nat Bucky and Steve

Whoops, my hand slipped. It ended up being 4761 words. My bad, but im not even sorry. Also, this is undeditied so sorry for the rushed pace of the story and any grammer mistakes uwu.

Also, this totally disregards Civil War and some points in The Winter Soldier. I also gave buckynat some history because I love them and it helped build this one shot.

This has been happening for a really long time now, Bucky trying to get Steve to go out with someone while he goes off with another girl. This time Bucky is saving Steve from yet another back alley brawl. And only this time, Steve is willing to try something new in this conversation.

“Come on Stevie, please? For me?” Bucky’s pleading eyes looked down into Steve’s.

“Damn it, you are not allowed to use your charm on me. No I will not go to the movies with some dame you choose for me. I don't want her.” he told Bucky, his arms were crossed and his jaw set in his stubborn look that showed he was determined. Bucky just stood there.

“Well what d'ya want then?”

“You damn well know what I want. You’ve known me all your stupid wasted life. How could you not know by now?” Steve replied, turning around and stomping off away from the alleyway Bucky just saved him from. The brunette sighing and running to catch up with Steve.

“Stevie,” Bucky said cautiously, dragging him into another nearby alley (this time with no one to beat up Steve) “I want to stay with ya, you know that right. I’ll cancel her okay we can stay in your room tonight. But your gonna have to explain. I don't know what you want.”

“Why do you keep trying to set me up with these dames?” he asked, he was clearly frustrated and his eyes showing his hurt. “Your not making it easy, just let me down slowly. You don't need to set me up they wont be good enough.” and he was stomping off again to his apartment hoping Bucky wasn't following him. Though he was praying that he would come by later.

I>

“Hey Stevie? I know you are in there.” Bucky’s happy voice rang through the door and Steve jumped up as fast as he could without giving himself a heart attack. He was at the door fast that he could blink and throwing it open to see Bucky standing there, his hair fluffed up and a goofy smile on his face.

“I was hoping you would actually come by. Sorry for snapping at ya.” Steve said letting his best friend in through the door.

“Its fine.” Bucky waved him off and sat beside him on the couch. “I want to know though,” he asked running a hand through his hair. “What was it that you wanted? I actually don't know.”

“Of course you don't.” Steve said bringing his knees up to his chest. “I don't think I could tell you without something bad happening.” his breaths were getting messy and his heart rate definitely raised from nervousness. And Bucky being Bucky, started to assure him that he wouldn't get mad or do anything.

“I will love your punk ass no matter what. You can trust me, I swear Stevie.” he assured him placing a hand softly on his shoulder.

Steve didn't know what to say, he forgot what to say. All he could remember was that two things and a short conversation later led to him hugging Bucky and the two slotting their mouths together in a very late delayed kiss.

It was sweet, it was late, it was early, it was precious, it was private and it was theirs. It was also the first of many.

I>

The room was cold, the wrestling ring was beat up, as were the people who were just sparing in the center of it. A crowd of instructors surrounding the ring watching the two subject kick and punch at each other. They had an impressive rhythm, in tune to a song it looked like a dance that wouldn't stop. Red hair flying and mixing with a head of dark hair on a man with a metal arm. The girl swung a kick up to the mans face and he caught it with his metal arm and pulled it down causing the girl to lose balance. She however, jumped on her other leg and wrapped it around the man's neck and brought them both to the ground banging their heads on the rough flooring of the wrestling ring.

“Enough!” a loud woman's voice boomed throughout the room. “Go wrap any wounds and be out here ready again in one minute. A threat doesn't wait and neither will I.” she finished before waving her hand and sending a rather tall man after the two to stand outside of the dirty change room. The two assassins made their way in and quickly wrapped each others wounds without speaking or making any other contact.

“I’m sorry Natalia.” James said pulling her hair behind her shoulders and pulling it up into a ponytail after cleaning a cut on her face.

“You have no reason to apologize James. It doesn't matter, the more we break each other, the more time we have to do this.” she replied standing up off of the bench and looking into James’ eyes. They gave her chills every time she made eye contact and the light blue reminded her of  the iced pond where their first mission together was. The first time after months of training they had their first conversation.

“I wish it wasn't like this.” he told Natalia looking down into the emerald of her eyes and holding her hand.

“It wont, we can run away. It will be better James.” Natalia returned. She intertwined their fingers and brought their hands up close to their chests.

“Something tells me that they will find out I can speak, and do this. Then they will rip us apart.” he told her sorrowfully. His eyes were filled with sadness and regret for what he has been made to do. “I just want this to last Natalia.”

“James, nothing lasts forever.” she said before getting up on her toes and bringing their lips together in a slow, sweet kiss. James brought his hand up to cup her chin and make the delicate moment last. But just like Natalia said, nothing lasts forever.

Soon they were called back out onto the mats and each given a punishment for taking too long.

I>

Eventually, they were caught. No matter how careful they were. And because of this they both forgot about each other and pushed their separate ways. They didn't want to forget, but even they could not overcome the machines that can take away precious fragments of your own life.

I>

“Natasha! Come on wake up!” Steve pleaded after a mission went a little sideways. “Come on, I can't lose you!” he held the redhead in his arms she was unconscious after being thrown from an explosion and Steve rushed to her immediately. She had some wounds that looked really bad and Steve really wanted to punch something.

“It’s okay,” she said weakly with a cough. “I’m fine, just go get the bad guy, Cap.” and she was out again. Steve set her down and four minutes later the mission was complete. They weren't as incognito as originally planned, but they were twice as dangerous.

When they were done Steve immediately went back over to Natasha, scooped her up in his big arms and carried her onto the jet to go back to base. She laid on a hospital stretcher that was for emergencies He sat there waiting occasionally trying to make her wake up until she did.

“Hey, soldier. Don't be so tense. I feel your nervousness and its making it hard to sleep here.” she said with an eye open looking at Steve, who gave a rather loud sigh of relief.

“Okay, you are alright.” he assessed, “How are you feeling.”

“How do you know i'm alright? I could be dying.” Natasha challenged. “And I am doing alright, thank you for asking.”

“I know enough about you, that if you are making annoying quips that you are fine.”

“You know enough about me? Hm Rogers, if you weren't careful, id say you care about me.”

“And I do.” is all he says before they enter the conference room.

I>

“I care about you too, it's just that I feel like the last time I said those words something bad happened.” Natasha tells Steve as they leave to room together. It's almost lunch so they are heading off to a burger place to kill some time.

“You don't have to be afraid to care about someone.”

“I know, but it's how I care about you. It's different. I can't remember.” she told him, they were walking side by side on a sidewalk that was pretty much empty on their way to the burger place.

“Natasha…” Steve started carefully. “You don't have to be afraid to care about me like that, I understand how you feel.”

“No you don't.” she turned and looked at him, they stopped walking and now they were looking at each other while cars passed by and a few pedestrians walked around them. “I don't know. Last time I felt this something really bad happened but I can't remember. You don't understand Steve, you don't know how I feel. And im pretty sure you don't feel it either.”

“Natasha, sometimes I feel like you are going to get yourself hurt and if that happened it would hurt me too. If you are in pain you don't have to do it alone.” he told her. His hands found themselves on her arms and she just stared up at him before slightly leaning in for something her body getting closer to his before she gasped and walked away. Steve shook his head and followed after her.

I>

“What do you want me to be?”

“How about a friend?”

I>

“Bucky?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

I>

The same night Natasha gave Steve the file, she went home to her room and cried. A certain pain stretching across her mind and seeing the Winter Soldiers face started it. She didn't know what she felt but she wanted to see Steve once more before he ran off to find his best friend.

Sudden memories etched themselves in her mind, just a few but they were still there.

She sat on her bed wiping any stray tears and pulled out any extra files she could find on herself, but nothing about the Winter Soldier or James Buchanan Barnes. James. She pulled out her phone and called the only person she wanted to see in that moment. Relief flooded her when Steve picked up and confirmed that he could come to her place.

When he arrived, her eyes were still puffy and she immediately invaded Steve space and wrapped her arms around his waist and cried. He put his arms around her and rubbed small circles on her back.

“Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong?” he tried asking his voice soft like a whisper.

“I think I remember him too.”

“Who?”

“James.”

Then they spent the next hour or so looking through extra shield files and talking trying to break through Natasha’s mind while Steve shed a few tears over Bucky Barnes. The moment was silent, each doing their own things but appreciating the others presence. Natasha’s memories were very sudden, and if she had a say, she would think that the Red Room was easy on her compared to Hydra on James.

“You loved him. More than a friend?” she asked, feeling as if she was invading on something private. All Steve did was nod and scoot closer to Natasha who hugged him and looked up at his face before inching closer. 

“I think I did too.” she also said before placing a gentle kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. As she was about to pull back Steve moved and closed the short distance between them and they kissed, mouths moving quietly and slowly. The only thing to be heard were the hearts breaking and short breaths of the two avengers.

I>

On their own time they occasionally went out to find Barnes and rarely found anything on him. Sometimes they got a lead, other times they actually caught him but he got away before they could move any closer.

It went on like that for months. Tony offered to help and Steve had wanted to say yes but Natasha thought that this was a personal matter and she wanted it to be just her and Steve. But now Steve was inside of a really small apartment while Natasha was keeping watch on the roof, he gut tells her that this will be the same as all other attempts to find James. Steve hasn't reported through comms yet and she is still waiting on the roof. Waiting. Hoping. Then she looks over her shoulder and sees him, trying to go unnoticed walking through a crowd.

“Steve, I see him.”

“Where is he?” his voice cracks through the comm.

“Trying to run away in a crowd. Should I engage?” she asked ready to go on the word. Natasha got up and is now standing on the edge of the roof. Then she hears Steve sigh. “I’m losing visuals, Steve.

“No, let's just wait.” he says.

“Wait for what?” 

“He will come to us. I know it.”

Only many more months to wait. When would James decide to come to them?

I>

Natasha was getting anxious, Steve was going into a depressed state. They shared their intimate moments and went their separate ways. Every now and then the team would assemble for a short mission, it was a good reason to see everyone again. The tower was quiet and calming and Natasha would every now and then go to the roof and stare at the cars passing by below. Clint would come by and comfort her, he was annoying and an idiot but he still cared. 

Steve would go to the training room and knock a few punching bags into the walls and break them open, then sheepishly apologize to Tony who waved it off with a smile and went to reinforce them. Sam was a big help for him, since he was helping a bit and could have a sense of what he was feeling. Every now and then Natasha and Steve would crawl to each others bed and stay awake, not able to fall asleep hoping that the person they were waiting for would show up.

Natasha was hoping for James. Steve was waiting for Bucky. There wasn't a guarantee that they would get either but one could dream.

Natasha would wrap her arms around Steve’s torso and snug her face against his side. Steve would turn and place his big arms around Natasha’s small frame, and they would sit like that until morning came or they fell asleep in a dangerous peace that most of the time brought nightmares or dreams of what could have been.

Small assurances to each other that he will come. Then they would wake up and go about their days focusing on other things and hiding their vulnerabilities away. Because for Natasha, a mission or a threat doesn't wait. And for Steve, is always looking for something to do, and the majority of the time, he knows what he wants.

I>

The Winter Soldier always knew what he was doing, so did James and so did Bucky. He could say that they were the same person, but he was only half of himself when he was James and he was basically locked in the trunk with the Winter Soldier driving when he came out.

Bucky was his main self, and he knew for a fact that he is starting to get every memory back, and Steve Rogers was in every single one. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss him or want to leave him behind. 

James was the man he was when he was with Natasha. Somehow he gotta keep those memories. Even if he was part Winter Soldier and part Bucky Barnes, that was probably the middle ground and he missed Natasha as well. He knew for a fact that he loved both of them at some point in his long life. He only remembers a few things as the Winter Soldier though, and those are his worst memories and he hates the days when they come in, like a rock being bashed around the inside of his head. The Winter Soldier though, remembers both Natasha and Steve and that is what brought him to where he is right now.

Contemplating if he will go back to them or not. He is slowly tipping towards going to them though. Bucky or James or whatever he was these days knew that the two avengers where looking for him, but he also knew that they had stopped and were waiting for him to come back to them.

And that sounded really nice. Being alone sucked, especially if he could get help. So he made a decision to go to them.

I>

It wasn't hard to track Steve’s daily routine. Natasha was a little harder, but he knew her enough to figure out her pattern. So he stood at the foot of the tall Avengers tower, he moved to go stand in the darkness of a nearby alley and he took in a deep breath.

Then, his deep breaths turned into panicked sucks of air and he turned and ran from everything back to a dark room where he continued to hide.

I>

“Do you know what happened today? While we were in the gym?” Steve approached Natasha who was drying her wet hair from a shower in her room. She shook her head in confusion and straightened her back a bit.

“He came to the tower.” he told her and Natasha dropped her towel and her eyes showed no emotion. “Tony, told me. Said there was inconspicuous behavior that alerted security measures in JARVIS’ coding.

“He left didn't he? Overwhelmed?” she guessed and threw her towel on the bed as she stood up. “You still sure we should wait?”

Steve hesitated as he sat on the edge of her bed and placed his hands in his lap. He fidgeted a bit with his shirt and fingers before looking up at Natasha.

“I honestly don't know.” his shoulders sagged and his breath came out deep and he shook his head. “It's been months of waiting, and when he shows up finally, he turns and leaves.”

“Well, I don't know about you,” Natasha started, she sat down beside Steve “but i'm going after him tomorrow. He forgets that im an ex russian spy but old habits die hard. I have questions and I will be finding my answers soon Rogers, my other question is are you coming with me or not?”

Steve gave a long sigh and nodded his head his eyes getting heavy with exhaustion. He really is running out of options any ways, so they might as well try again.

I>

“What are you doing here.” Bucky stands on his guard looking at Steve in his small room. He didn't see Steve follow him, or enter his room.

“It took a while but we decided to come after you once we got a good enough lead.” Steve replied, not mentioning that they got Tony’s help to track him down.

“Is she here?” he asked flexing his metal hand.

“Yeah, she’s keeping cover on the roof.” he replied setting his shield down on the floor and walking towards Bucky calmly.

“Why did you come here?” he asks, hesitantly stepping forward.

“Missed you.” Steve tells Bucky, as if it's that simple. Steve stops walking towards Bucky and stands a few feet away from him. His hand starts to reach for Bucky but at the last second he pulls it back and keeps it steady at his side.

“You don't even know if its still me.” Bucky knows Steve is stubborn, whether he wants to go or not, Steve wont leave him now. However it depends on how he answers this statement to see if he is worth keeping around. Bucky knows he might not be Bucky anymore than he would be James, and he would be lying if he said it doesn't hurt at all knowing what he would have lost between two people.

“It doesn't matter, we can help you.” the desperateness in Steve’s voice sounds so broken from the national icon that people think he is, it's far from confident and assured and it kind of soothes Bucky to know that it is just for him in this moment. What Steve actually feels for him.

“I remember you.” is all he tells him with a short nod.

“I could never forget you.” is what Steve replies with. “It was you and me, ‘til the end of the line. I could never forget you Buck.” and this time Steve steps forward until he is fully in Bucky’s space. Bucky is about to step back from being crowded and just having the spy genes in him to keep distance but instead he mentally kicks himself for wanting to run from Steve and he holds his ground. Now though, Steve is really close. Bucky feels as if he is moving too fast, his memories with Steve and Natalia and the pain from Hydra wanting him to stop. He doesn't know what to feel right now. But he stays and Steve’s hand is now resting on his arm.

“I remember the Natalia too,” he admitted, his breath coming out a bit short. “I think, I might miss you guys.”

“We miss you too. I really hope you know that. It’s killing Natasha right now that she can't be here.”

“I feel empty.” he concluded.

“You don't have to. You can come back to the tower with us.” Steve pleaded, his voice growing back strong from the broken tone from earlier.

“Alright then.” Bucky sighed, he slouched in on himself as he sat down on the bed nearby. “Lets go.”

I>

“I don't know who I am.” Bucky says turning away from them. “Or who you want me to be.” they could see him drag his metal hand down his face in exhaustion. This time around he was in Steve’s room. He was sitting on the bed beside Steve and Natalia was on the floor in the corner. They haven't spoken yet, but they knew each other enough to see what they felt when they made eye contact. Longing, patience, love, heartbreak, pain, affection, and each one made Bucky feel comfortable while giving him an urge to run again.

“We want you to be you,” Steve said. “Natasha and I love you however you want to be. You are who you want to be and we will still be here. None of us are going to walk out on you.”

Bucky’s hands sat in his lap and he was staring at them while he fidgeted thinking about his next move. He could tell that Steve was anxious to get some sort of touch or assurance of reciprocated feelings, but he didn't know what Natasha was feeling quite yet.

“Natalia?” he asked looking up from his hands and reaching out. Natasha was startled but she got up and slowly stepped towards him.

“James.” was her only reply but she knelt down in front of him and tetitavley placed her hands on his knees in front of her.

“Nothing lasts forever?” he questioned. But Natasha gave him a beautiful smile and looked into his eyes and said,

“This does James. All three of us will last forever.” she told him with confidence and from her position she wrapped her arms around Bucky’s neck waited for him to do the same. 

Steve watched a single tear slide down Bucky’s face and he wanted nothing more than to kiss it away. He felt as if he was intruding on their moment until Natash broke away from James and turned to him. She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips before she quietly left the room.

I>

It's been three long months of hesitant touches and smiles and resurfacing memories in the tower. Bucky becoming himself again. Or as much of himself as he could be. It was a mix between ‘James’ and ‘Bucky’ and it was perfect. He became more charismatic, charming, intelligent but still having all of his spy aspect, even if he didn't like that part.

Natasha would kiss him on the cheek and Steve would hug him and their lips would brush slightly before Steve pulled away from thinking he was invading Bucky’s space. He would see Natasha and Steve share intimate touches and kiss and cuddle and he would be honest when he said he was a little bit jealous that he didn't get that yet. Bucky just played it off though and teased Steve about it and watch Steve go red and apologetic but it didn't really mask his jealousy that much. Well he was jealous until he realized that they were waiting for him to initiate those connecting touches. 

Three months of continuous conversations, sometimes they would curl into one of their beds to sleep from night terrors or loneliness. Bucky felt more lonely though as he realized he missed being able to give loving touches to Steve and Natalia. It was one of those nights when he decided to take that step. All three of them curled in Natasha’s bed, Natasha in the middle of the two super soldier and the room was dark, but Bucky could hear Steve’s breaths and could tell that he was still awake.

“Stevie?” he asked, hoping to get a response.

“Yeah Buck?” Steve responded with and Bucky searched the bed to find his hand. Their fingers curled together, skin and clean metal. Using this, he pulled Steve’s hand forward so his body would shift forward and though it slightly squashed Natasha forward a bit Steve was in kissing distance and his face close to Bucky’s over Natasha’s head. “What’re you d-”

And Bucky cut him off when he connected their lips slowly. Steve quickly got with the program and kissed back, moving his lips fluently with Buckys and quiet breaths filling the dark room. Lips were parting open and reconnecting and being tugged at by teeth before both parties pulled away from each other.

Bucky leaned back and left a lingering kiss on Natasha’s forehead and wrapped his arms over her body so they could touch Steve’s waist, and Steve moved in closer.

I>

“I heard you boys messing around last night.” Natasha said to Bucky when he woke up the next morning.

“You weren't asleep?” he asked.

“Nope. But I must say, you are making me feel rather neglected.” she joked with him and snuggled against him under the covers, Steve was gone out for a morning run with Sam and apparently didn't bother to wake Bucky up for it.

“Didn't want to wake you кролик.” a smile crossed Bucky’s face and he moved in closer to Natasha.

“I hate it when you call me that.” Natasha shook her head at the pet name calling her a bunny before looking up and getting what she missed out on the night before. This kiss was more fast paced but still held the sweetness and longing in it which made it worth everything that Bucky had missed.

I>

The three stayed together that day, sharing soft touches and glances with each other with smiles.

Steve wasn't even surprised when he went back to the room and saw Nat and Bucky being close, all he did was move up against Natasha and join in with the two, knowing that there was enough room. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #194

“i’m numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain.”

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? I believe I first had those Flintstones ones, then later Mom got the gummy type. Have you ever gone to court? Only to explain to a judge why I thought my scheduled month-long stay in the psych hospital was unnecessarily long for my state. I was convinced all I needed to do was talk to Jason and boom, my problems would be gone. Safe to say, I was delusional. Glad I won that battle though considering I loathe that hospital for their extreme lack of therapy and activities to keep us occupied and out of our own heads. I was committed there I think five times and no stay did jack-shit. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. How long has it been since you’ve seen The Lion King? Years. But bitch when that live action remake comes out I'mma be the very first hoe at that theater. Have you ever had a crush on your siblings friend? No. What's the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? However long the flight to Michigan was. What’s the best wedding you’ve been to? My former dance instructor's. What time did you wake up this morning? Like, 7. What are you doing this weekend? There's no difference in weekends and weekdays for me. I'm sure I'm doing nothing. What’s your favorite Disney movie? TLK. Do you wear colored contacts? No, but honestly I'd love more sapphire blue ones if they're a prescription and not just cosmetic. Who was the last person you went to the movies with? I think Mom? Or did I go with Dad later? When’s the last time you spent time with your cousins? I haven't seen Robby since '15, but Audrey passed through with my uncle sometime last year. My other cousins, hell if I know. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Good Lord, that's an essay. Just more than anything, I think it was the fact that she cares so deeply about animals and people alike and is passionate about what's right and wrong. Can you speak in a different language conversationally? If so, which language? I could maybe manage a very simple German convo? Do you ever fear falling asleep? No, but I do rather frequently don't look forward to it, or at least the process of falling asleep. I don't go quickly. What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel. Would you rather eat all day or exercise all day? I don't believe you physically could eat all day? And exercising, I'm assuming you'd eventually pass out? But let's be hypothetical. I'd have to choose exercise, I care way too much about not gaining weight. Does one eye tend to be weaker than the other? Yes, my right is considerably worse. What do you think of guys who ask girls out over via text message or internet? It's definitely not my preferred method, but do it if you don't have the courage to in person/just can't for whatever reason. Have you ever had a churro? I believe I have? If I'm remembering the correct treat, it was unbelievably too sweet and I didn't like the crunch. What’s one thing you like about your town? The town itself is real old-fashioned and small. Did you believe that alcohol is more dangerous then weed? I know it is. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Are you a fan of the Grand Theft Auto series? Never played, but I highly doubt I'd enjoy it. Do you like the beach? If it wasn't for the wind, blistering heat, and sand. So basically, I don't. I only like being in the ocean. Do you or did you have a curfew at one point? No. Well, correction, if it was a school night before high school and I was out with a friend, I'm sure Mom established something, but idr. Do you peel the wrappers off of plastic bottles? No. What do you think is the youngest age someone should lose their virginity? No younger than 16. But at any age, be. Smart. Have you ever played Super Smash Brothers? I think at friends' as a kid? What do you like on your sundaes? Like, just chocolate syrup lmao. Have you done anything productive today? Well, I exercised some. Do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage? What I care about is waiting for a person you feel truly in love with. I actually feel like abstaining could be a bad idea, as I'd assume for some people, the desire to have sex would play a factor in them wanting to get married, so marriage could potentially be rushed for the sake of that when you're not adequately prepared in other areas. What is your sexual orientation? Bi. Do you put your name on your food coverings? If I was using a fridge at a job or whatever, yeah, but I'm not in that type of situation. What is something you have acquired with age? Open-mindedness. Would you ever go out in public sporting pajamas? Depends on where I'm going. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you enjoy history? No. Have you ever changed religions? Twice. Is there anyone to whom you are afraid to stand up to? Mom. And pretty much everyone else. Do you like making lists? Sometimes. Do you play sports with your siblings? Never di- oh wait, Mom signed all three of us up for cheerleading as little kids. Hated it. Are there stairs in your house? No. Do you like onions on your burger? A small amount of minced pieces is fine. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. What is your favorite room to clean? I get the most satisfaction out of cleaning my own. Do you enjoy cleaning? Not the process of it, just the feeling afterwards. What do you consider your ideal weight? My /ideal/ would be around 120 again, but I'd be happy enough between 130-140. How many pounds do you need to lose (or gain) to be your ideal weight? LET US NOT What is your favorite thing about Valentine’s Day? Just it being a celebration of love, which to me, goes beyond just romantic. I think people should spend a little extra effort in letting one another know they really love each other. Now I believe every day you should treat people with love, but seriously focus on it and be thankful for those you have. If you wear one, what color is your wristwatch? N/A Have you ever made a pair of earrings? No. Who did you inherit your hair color from? I actually think Dad? Going through family pictures after Grampa died, I found out he was actually born dirty-blonde (I've only known him with black), like I was. Pretty sure Mom's was always brown. Have you ever wished that you were born in a different era? Woulda loved being born in the mid-early '80s. Do you prefer soft rock or hard rock? ....... I read "rock" as in like, minerals. And I was. Very confused. High on the list of my dumbest readings. Anyway, definitely hard. What was the best time of your life? As a kid. Do you prefer sunny or cloudy weather? Partly cloudy. How do you like your potatoes? For most of my life I only liked them as fries or as potato skins w/ cheese and bacon bits, but I'm gradually branching out. I like baked potatoes split with cheese and bacon inside too, and Sara's mom exposed me to the very first time I enjoyed mashed potatoes, yeet. So those have to be made a very specific, non-clumpy way. I also like hash browns, but not the shredded kind. Oh yeah, I live for the fiesta potatoes at Taco Bell too like gd good shit. Who’s your best friend? My babygirl. <3 If you don't count her, it'd be my mom, but if she's excluded too being family, I don't really have a best friend. Maybe Girt, idk. What’s a TV show you never miss? I don't watch any shows regularly. The one and only situation where I'd watch every episode ASAP is if Meerkat Manor came back. Have you ever lied about your gender? No. What are you planning on doing on your next birthday? Go out to eat with family, and though unlikely, getting a tattoo would be awwwesome. Do you know anyone else with your last name other than family? I don't think so? Is your favorite band still together? I actually just looked it up because I really wanted to know, and his band's still going, apparently! I thought this coming tour ("No More Tours 2") was the end, but apparently it's just the finale of his world tours. Where do you see most of your concerts? I've only been to one, which was in Raleigh. That's the most likely place we'd go to, though. Have you ever had escargot? Never in my life will I try it. Do you use Google every day? No. What was the last new food you tried that you thought was delicious? Oh my god in Heaven. So, for Christmas, my sis made these hot chocolate cream balls things she found on Pinterest, and literally, maybe the best thing I'd ever had. I just barely had enough discipline to not eat more than one lol. If you could invent a new holiday, what month would you put it in? Hm. Idk. Have you ever had a bedroom with a specific theme? No, I don't think so. If you had to design a room with a theme, what theme would you choose? Gothic, maybe with lil bits of pastel goth for some more personality. What was the best thing that ever happened to you? Realizing I can't just give my entire life to a person, losing any control over it myself. You have to allow yourself to be free; do not chain yourself to a single person. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? No. One, I don't have a source of income, and two, I'm perfectly aware what probably 99% do with it, especially because of my mom, who's pretty much made friends with the homeless on the side of the road, has learned each and every one use drugs or alcohol, so instead she buys them food frequently. That's something I would want to do, but I'm so paranoid of strangers, especially desperate ones, harming me for whatever reason that I probably never will. Do you like your hair better long or short? SHORT. OH MY GOOOOOD CUTTING MY HAIR SHORT WAS ONE OF MY BEST DECISIONS. Have you ever designed your own Facebook timeline cover? Yeah. What is one site that closed down that you wish would come back? Hmmmm. I don't really know. Well, the Animal Planet site still exists, but I wish there was still a dedicated MM section, y'know, with the forums and games and such. Really think it'd be nice if they kept little sections for all of their classic, better-known shows for old fans. Hell, I'm pretty sure MM was their most successful, why not keep remnants of it up there? Do you ever watch TV shows on YouTube? Rarely, if I ever watch a show. Foo Fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: Not a real fan of either, but I'd have to choose the former as I enjoy at least two of their songs. Have your parents ever complained about your hair? My mom was reeeaaally shocked and distressed when she arrived at the parlor when I got the "big" haircut and saw how much was gone (eight inches), but only because she was scared I'd hate it. Thankfully she really liked it when it was all said and done. Are you a fan of the Saw movies? Never really watched 'em. How did you decide on your Tumblr name? I'm a sucker for alliteration, and it's a survey blog. Do your friends have the complete opposite music taste as you? My closer friends, not really, actually. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? I don't know any of my half-siblings' ages, and I forget how old Ashley is sometimes. I forget frequently if she's two or three years older than me. Do you tend to walk places more than drive? Ha, you can't walk to a destination here in the country. I only ever ride/rarely drive anywhere. Do you have any photos of you kissing someone? Yes. Do you ever hang out with your ex? Rarely with Girt. Would you like the ability to read minds? No, especially if you can't choose when it's "on" or "off." Even if you only choose when you do it, idk. Just... doesn't seem like a safe idea. Do you see the same people everyday? Lol that's usually just my mom, and yes. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Are you mad at anyone right now? No. It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, what do you do? Almost a guarantee I won't hear, considering it's on vibrate. Now if I did for whatever reason, ignore it unless it's a contact on my phone. Have you ever fallen backwards on a chair? I believe so, playing as a kid. Last time you laughed so hard you cried? I'm not sure, but considering I do that easily... Who last talked about kissing you? Sara. Who was the last thing/person you took a picture with? My kiiiitty. Did you speak to your father today? No. Would you ever get gauged ears? Definitely no. What aren’t you looking forward to? I really don't mean to sound all emo and whatnot, but I genuinely don't look forward to like every afternoon/early evening, as that's around when I hit my extreme boredom decline, which goes so low I feel death could maybe be more exciting. I am in no way suicidal, I just want this era of isolation, lack of purpose, and no progress towards a great future to end. My life's been at a stand-still for pretty much a year. Would you rather get your tongue or lip pierced? I already have both done. I find my snake eyes way cuter, but when I consider my outward appearance and what people generally see, I'd rather have my labret. What is your favorite personality trait? Kindness. What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do? Idk, but something with deep personal meaning for sure. When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you? There has to be a mutual, serious care for our relationship; my partner has to understand I'm not in for a fling. We both have to have the goal of forming and maintaining a healthy, long-lasting, meaningful relationship. If I feel being together is a game to you or just for a couple months of a bit of fun, bye. Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn’t feel it? No. Well, I do with my mom if she's pissed me off and I *feel* like I don't, but I know I do. If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible? Not necessarily. I believe engagement is a stage where you're certain you want to get married in the not-so-distant future, but you have other important things to take care of first, like for example, buying a home and stuff like that. When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis? I wouldn't freak the hell out if you couldn't talk to me for a day, but I'd definitely want at least a little conversation, especially if we're serious. Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? Yes. You should know how you're going to handle being with your s/o every single day. Did you ever give a hickey to the last person you kissed or you guys didn’t go that far? Not yet. Is there anyone you want to come see you? Yeah. What was the last thing you saw that scared you? A video of this guy with his giant pet centipede like an idiot (super venomous) crawling all over him. Centipedes creep me the hell out, although at the same time I find them kinda cool. Is there something that’s happened today that you don’t want to ever go through again? No. Is the last person you kissed attractive? Yeah. Do you feel bored with your life? I think I've covered this enough. Who’s someone you miss that you haven’t talked to in years? Megan, more than anyone. Do you have severe withdrawals from medications? I don't think any were ever severe, but I was weaned off of them all I believed. Just honestly I've been on so many since 6th grade that I can't recall each one's ending. I only recall having shadow hallucinations when I was coming off one. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? Let's not talk about the subject I'm more bitter about than anything else in the entire world. Summary: Don't touch Abilify even if your fucking life depended on it. Do you have a doctor you can trust? My psychiatrist and therapist, very much so. I've only seen my new general doctor twice, so I can't make a fair judgment of her. Mom has a friend who sees her though, and she only has positive things to say about her. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? A social life. Art class. What do you miss the most about college? Literally the one and only part I enjoyed at my first college was lunchtime, because Jason and I could spend time together, sometimes with his friends. Second college, nothing. It was online. Have you ever been the victim of a crime? I don't believe so? Is your life worse than you could have ever have imagined it to be? Or is it better, or just what you expected? Ohhhh man... As a kid, I was so sure I'd be amazing. Still had a bit of hope in middle school. High school and beyond, it's, so far, worse than I'd planned. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? Mountains. Driving through them is unreal. What is one place you have always wanted to visit? Idk about "always." But for the longest amount of time, it's been without a doubt South Africa. Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? Steve Irwin was and still is one of my absolute heroes. I loved Jeff Corwin, Jesse McCartney, Raven Symone, and the Sprouse twins, too. Do you prefer slow songs or fast songs? I'd say generally, faster. What color is your trash can? White. Who was your favorite family pet when you were growing up? We didn't really have a "family" pet, just ones one of us individually were particularly close to. I'd say the closest that qualifies would be Chance, our first cat. She was special. List five of your favorite YouTubers. You Already Know, GameGrumps, Shane Dawson, Daniel Howell, and Jeffree Star, but. I have so many jsfaqoweuoapsf. I wanna squeeze Rhett and Link in there, but while I still love them as people and creators, I've been losing interest in GMM over the months. What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. I also love ravens though for their intelligence and personalities. What pet names do you use with your significant other? A lot, but I'd say either "sweetheart/sweetie" or "dear" are most common from me. I think. How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic, I guess. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Well, except school band. Have you ever watched yourself on video? Yeeaah, senior project was fun. But I know how I usually am well enough to say I honestly don't feel I did badly. Have you ever missed a flight? Yup. Never go to the O'Hare airport, jfc. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Yes, and I hope to see the one this Sunday! Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? AHHHHHHH SO MANY!!!!! Social species' above all. Do you like animals better than most humans? Yes. What simple things in life bring you the most joy? Long car rides when I can play my iPod through the speakers and just go to another world. Sara singing, hearing my mom laugh. Seeing old couples holding hands in public kills me. How did you meet your significant other (if you have one)? YouTube. How did you meet your best friend? She's the same person as above. Are you friends with anybody you didn't like at first? Also see Sara lmao. Are there any musicians you didn't like at first, but grew on you? The first/most recent to come to mind is In This Moment. Is there anything you used to love, but now dislike? Peas as a kid. I'm kinda on the fence of liking or disliking PewDiePie as he is now (although I haven't watched too much of his newer content). Do you have any favorite books you'd like to have signed by the author? It'd be pretty cool for Ozzy to sign my copy of his autobiography, sure. Do you enjoy any of those old black and white horror films? Any one I've ever seen has been horrid, so I haven't seen many. What is your favorite yogurt topping? I loved those ones that had M&Ms in them. Where do you shop the most: Kmart, Target, Walmart, Fred Meyer, or other? Walmart or Harris Teeter. Have you ever done a craft project you saw on Pinterest? No. What beverages do you drink that contain caffeine? Soda. What has been the best experience you've had in a church? Uhhh. Oh, Jason's brother's wedding. Do you prefer that your nachos be spicy or not spicy? Obviously spicy. Have you ever had a kiss that felt magical? Mine and Jason's first was cute, but I don't recall if I thought it was "magical" because all I was focusing on was just how shy I was. First kiss with Sara was definitely more than special. Who is your best online friend? Sara once again. Who knows more about you: online friends or offline? Online, easily. Do you think that love makes people irrational? It can. What book, movie, or TV show did you find to be total garbage? Oh, I'm positive there's something, but nothing comes to mind. Is there a topic that is a sore-spot for you? Mental health and how it may affect your loved ones. Have you ever lost a friend over a guy/girl? Pretty much. Have you ever lost a friend because of a lifestyle change? Yup. Do you like kissing? The right person. What location holds the most memories for you? My childhood home. Hypothetically let’s just say you’re a supervillain. What’s your agenda? What are you trying to destroy and why? I would never want to be, but I suppose the most suitable for me would be punishing the person to break a promise somehow. Why, because I know just how agonizing broken promises can be. What’s your go-to topic when making small talk with others? How their day's been. When you get to be in charge of the tunes on a road trip or party - do you play what you want to hear or tailor the playlist to what you think the other people in the car/room want to hear? I do a mix of both. Thankfully, Mom and I like most of the same music, but I do learn what songs she doesn't like and avoid playing them unless I really wanna hear it. You have any bad habits you shamelessly don’t care to or plan to quit? Shamelessly, idk about that. There’s an app for everything. What apps consume the most of your time and energy? Facebook. The most overrated thing ever - what is it? I literally judge you if you have a bigass, obnoxiously loud truck. Compensating for something? The most underrated? Ummmm. Talking about pointless shit and doing nothing while enjoying your favorite person's presence is surely one. What’s something you find unconventionally romantic? Teaching your s/o how to play a game together and you both are enjoying it asjfaoswuw. One of my most cherished memories with Jason was that with Little Big Planet. Just in general I find it super cute to share what you love with each other.

[irish-nlessing]

Ahhh those Drabbles look great! Are you doing them as well? If you are , I request 53 "I can't believe you talked me into this" im not sure what would be cuter Niall pouting and grumpy about something (like your icon) or Niall super excited about something and you have to be grumpy . (Though let's be real, he radiates happiness, sunshine and good thoughts. That shit is contagious.)

Anonymous said:number 3 for the prompt thing!

Anonymous said:Prompt 3! “Don’t fucking touch me”

I ended up combining these two - enjoy!!!!!!

Hot Yoga

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

Niall sank down another inch into the passenger seat of your car and let out an annoyed huff.  You’d caught him in an extremely weak moment last night and gotten him to agree to join you at your favorite Bikram Yoga studio.  He must’ve missed the part where you mentioned class was at 7am.  You couldn’t really blame him for being distracted - your hands had been shoved down the front of his joggers while you traced the freckles along his neck with the tip of your tongue.  

“Niall.  You’re pouting.  Relax, it’ll be fun and it’s good for you.  Might actually do you some good to sweat out the last four nights of pints with the band.”

He shot forward in his seat, twisting to face you.  “We’re building a rapport! Can’t go touring if I don’t even like the guys in me band!”  Niall’s voice keened with offense.  You just snickered softly to yourself at his outburst and patted him softly on his knee.  You tucked your lip into your teeth trying desperately to suppress the giggle in your throat.  He glared at you from the corner of his clear blue eyes and curled his lip into a sneer.  “Don’t fucking touch me.”  You snatched your hand back to grip the wheel and raised your eyebrow at the petulant man child seated next to you.  “Ok Horan.  I’ll remember that later.”  Mornings had never been Niall’s strong suit and today was proving to be just more of the same.  As you trained your eyes back on the road you caught Niall’s lips pulled down into a frown, probably realizing he’d just cock-blocked himself.

You pulled up to the small studio and clambered out of the driver seat, eager to feel the burn and stretch in your limbs.  Niall reluctantly followed suit,  and shoved his hands into the pockets of his golf jacket.  He stood off to the side and was toeing at a crack in the sidewalk while you grabbed your bags and mats from the back of your small SUV.  You thrust your extra yoga mat towards him, trying to get him to take it.  “You ready?”  He grabbed the mat from your hand and shoved it under his arm.  With a resigned sigh he motioned for you to lead the way.  “Ready as I’ll ever be.  Let’s get this over with.”

Making your way towards the back room, you nodded a greeting to a few of the other patrons you recognized from previous classes.  Coming during the middle of the week, so early in the morning, guaranteed there would only be a few other people in the class.  You figured this would be the best option for Niall - if pictures ended up online of him sweating his ass off while doing yoga poses he’d never let you forget it.  You pushed open the door and felt the hot, humid air choke your lungs.  It always took a few minutes to acclimate to the insane heat in this class so you were quick to drop your bag to start shedding layers.  You were down to your tiny yoga shorts and had just started to peel off your tee when Niall grabbed your wrist.  

“What’re you doing? You can’t take your top off!”  His eyes were a mix of panic and protectiveness, shifting around to see if anyone was an eyeful.  

“Babe, it’s gonna be like 100 degrees in here.  I always do it in my shorts and sports bra.  You should take your shirt off too.  Don’t want you passing out.”  You shrugged out of your top and grabbed your mat to get situated near the windows on the side of the room.  When you peeked behind your shoulder Niall had his face set in a grimace but had at least listened to your advice and stripped his shirt off.  You couldn’t stop yourself from staring as he loped across the room to settle himself in the space next to you.  The heat had already made a light sheen of sweat break out across his chest and shoulders.  As he laid out his mat you watched the lean muscles in his back twitch and shift under the pale expanse of skin.  You could feel your own heartbeat start to speed up in your chest as he lowered himself down onto his stomach.  His arms stretched out above his head, making divots appear in the top of his shoulders where the muscles criss-crossed from his arms.  Before you could think about it you were pressing the pad of your finger into the small dip in his flesh and trailing your hand down his back.  He startled at the touch and popped his head up to look at you.  

“What was that for?”  His voice was raspy and muffled behind his still-outstretched arm.

A hot flush spread across your cheeks at being caught ogling him.  You pulled your hand back and shook your head.  “Nothing, sorry.  Just couldn’t help it.”  You tried to ignore the smirk that tugged the one corner of his mouth up.  Thankfully, the instructor walked in and started the first movements.

A half hour into the session you were dripping with sweat and concentrating on your breathing.  Your legs were on fire, but you felt strong.  The burn and stretch in your muscles was cathartic for your body, but also for your mind.  Hot yoga had always forced you out of your own head.  There were so many things to concentrate on that if you got distracted, you were liable to pass out.  You’d seen it happen before.  A newbie would come in and underestimate the brutal heat of the small room.  Inevitably they’d topple over, with the instructor grabbing a fan and an ice pack to bring them to.  You arched your back and twisted, glancing back to check on Niall.  His gaze was stuck on your body, your long legs curled underneath your body.  He was sort of in the same pose, but just not quite as open with his torso.  He was hunched over a bit, almost as though he was nursing a side cramp from running too long.  

“Ni…you ok?”

“M’fine.  Just turn around.”

“What?  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just….don’t worry.”

“Is it your knee?  Do you need to swit-”

“No!”

His voice was low and hissed out at you, while his face was pulled into a dark grimace.  You scooted closer to him to whisper in his ear.  You didn’t want to disturb the rest of the class.

“Hey, if your knee is acting up just get into a position that’s comfortable.”

“It’s not m’fuckin’ knee.  Just leave it.”

He knelt down and spread his arms above his head, pushing back into child’s pose.  You knew this was his favorite because it was the only thing that would relieve the dull back ache he would sometimes get after hauling his guitar around for hours on stage.  You crouched down to badger him a bit more, genuinely concerned that he would push it too far and hurt himself.

“Seriously, if it’s your knee you shouldn’t do child’s pose Ni.  It’ll make it -”

“For Christ sake woman would ya shut up?  Been staring at your arse and tits for a half hour and you’re giving me a fucking hard on, ok?!”  

Your jaw dropped at his whispered confession.  You immediately darted your eyes around to see if anyone else had heard him.  Fortunately everyone else seemed to be fully engrossed in the next pose.  You swallowed harshly, trying to tamp down the buzzing in your body.  The knowledge that your poor boyfriend was trying valiantly to hide an erection that he got from watching you set your senses on edge.  You were flattered, turned on, and very flustered.  In a split second you grabbed your mat and stood up, pulling Niall off the floor with you.  You grabbed his wrist and draped your mat over your arm to hide his current “problem”.  He staggered out of the room behind you and barely managed to grab your bags as the door swung shut.  The cool air of the hallway hit you both like a bucket of ice.  Goosebumps cropped up across your skin and you could see the red patches of skin prickle under the thatch of dark hair matted down across Niall’s chest.

“What the fuck’re you doing?  Why’d you yank me outta there?  If you’d just left it alone for a minute I woulda been fine.”

You turned in a circle, looking desperately for something that would work for what you needed.  Grabbing Niall’s arm you pulled him desperately towards a small door at the end of the hallway, labeled “Laundry”.  With a silent prayer you tried the doorknob and let out a small squeal of victory when the door swung open.  Niall stumbled in behind you, bumping into the sticky skin of your back.  You could feel his hard length press into your lower back, his thin shorts not doing much to hide his arousal.  The feeling of him pressed into your flesh made you moan and as the sound left your mouth, Niall finally caught onto what you had in mind.

“You dirty little girl!  I got you all riled up, didn’t I?”  His warm breath tickled your ear and he pressed his fingers into your hips, pulling you back into his clothed cock.  There was an unmistakeable cockiness to his voice, a lilt that let you know he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him.  You spun around to face him, backing up to the low counter against the wall that was used for folding towels.  Grabbing at the waist of his shorts you pulled him in between your legs and hooked them around his waist.  

“I got you riled up first, Niall.  Said so yourself.”  You pulled him into your covered center, relishing the friction of his body rubbing against the thing material between your legs.  He braced himself with his hands on the counter and leaned down so you were eye to eye.  

“You’re right, ya did.  Didn’t realize I’d have to watch you bend and stretch and arch your back in nothing more than your knickers.  Been hard nearly the whole class.  S’almost kinda painful if I’m honest.”  He thrust his hips forward and let out a low hiss as he pressed into your body.  Your breath was coming in shallow pants, matching the adrenaline flowing through your veins.  Wiggling your legs, you managed to dislodge his shorts and push them down his hips and under the swell of his round bum.  His cock sprang free, the tip almost purple with want and leaking strings of precum as it bobbed forward.  You licked your palm and wrapped your thin fingers around the tip, pumping slowly and spreading some of the wetness down his shaft.  “Fuckkkkkkk that feels so good.”  His voice was low and breathy, and he had to bite down on his lip to keep from moaning too loudly.  As your hand swept back up his length you dipped your thumb into the slit at the top of his cock making him jerk forward into his hand.  “I’m so hard for you, please make me come.”  His eyes met yours, the deep blue in his iris’ was pleading for release, desperate to find some relief.  

You leaned forward and tipped your head up to nip at his pink lips.  They looked incredibly soft compared to the rough stubble that had been lining his jaw so often these past months.  You slotted your lips over his and licked into his mouth frantically trying to taste him, smell him, feel him.  You were desperate for him to invade all of your senses at once - to not know where your body ended and his began.  You withdrew your hand reluctantly from his length and hooked your fingers into your own yoga shorts.  “I need you to get in me.  Hurry ok? Just fuck me.”  You kicked your shorts to the side and looped your legs back around his waist.  His lips crashed down onto yours and he trailed his fingers through your slick lips, pushing his fingers deep into your core.  Your back arched, pushing your chest into his.  He pumped his fingers slowly while his mouth forged a wet trail down your neck and into the hollows of your collar bone.  

“You taste salty.  But still kinda sweet.  Like those salted caramels you make me get from the coffee shop.”  His teeth nipped across your skin and he pressed his thumb into your aching clit, rubbing across it gently.  You let out a whine, already feeling your walls starting to flutter around his fingers.  

“Shit - you’re so fucking hot Niall.  C’mon, I need you inside me.  I need it!”  You were practically begging for him, and he was never one to make you wait.  He pulled his fingers out of your body and sucked them into his mouth.  With a smirk he reached down and lined himself up with your entrance.  As he sank into you his eyes rolled back slightly and his jaw hung open.  You could only grasp desperately at his shoulders and tuck your forehead into his chest.  As your walls stretched around his pulsing length you could hear him muttering under his breath.

“Love you.  Fuck, love you so much.  Feels so good.  Love you.”

You pressed hot, wet kisses across his chest as he pulled his hips back and began thrusting into you.  You both had an arm braced against the counter, with the other wrapped around each other’s bodies - anchoring you to each other.  The hot coil of release was burning at the base of your spine and you could feel your toes starting to curl on their own accord.  You leaned back on both of your hands to gain some leverage and meet his thrusts.  Niall was staring down at where your bodies met, mesmerized at how he disappeared inside of you, only to pull back out slick with your wetness.  As his hips snapped unsteadily against you, you slid your fingers down to your throbbing bundle.  Just as you were starting to rub circles against it, Niall swatted your hand away and replaced it with his own calloused fingers.  He gripped onto your hip with one hand and carefully rolled your aching clit between his fingertips.  Over and over he coaxed your body to give him more.  More wetness, more noises, more more more.  In an instant you tipped over the edge, your body going rigid as your breath caught in your chest and your eyes squeezed shut.  A low, guttural noise started to roll from your chest but Niall leaned in and swallowed the moan into a kiss.  His hips stalled against you as he emptied himself inside you.  As you broke apart you both gasped for breath, your foreheads sticking together with sweat.

Silently he pulled out of you, gasping at the over sensitive feeling.  You grabbed some towels and cleaned up still not saying a word.  The only thing you could hear was the low thrum of the industrial washer and dryer and the soft meditation music being pumped through the speakers.  You got dressed and sorted out your mats and bags, still not saying a word to each other.  You checked the hallway, letting out a sigh of relief that the class had not yet ended and the rest of the studio was deserted.  Niall followed you back out to the bustling street, where morning commuters were still clogging up the sidewalks on their way to work.   You tossed the bags haphazardly into the back seat and slid into the driver’s seat of your car.  Niall was chewing thoughtfully on the side of his thumb and nodding slowly to himself.  You took a deep breath and dared to break the silence.

“Sooooooo…….that wasn’t usually how my yoga classes go.”  Niall didn’t seem to hear you, there was no acknowledgement or even a flutter of recognition that you’d been speaking.

“Niall.  Ni.  NIALL!”

“What?”  He finally dropped his thumb from his still-kiss swollen lips and looked at you.  His eyes were wide like a frightened animal and you could tell his head was somewhere else entirely.

“Are…are you ok?”  You were almost afraid to hear the answer.  You weren’t sure if Niall was going to cry or if he even knew who he was at this point.

He nodded slowly, seeming to choose his words carefully.  “I think…I think I need to call some people.”  You raised your eyebrows at him, an inkling of concern starting to take hold in your stomach.  “I need to find a contractor.”

You pulled your face in, confusion sweeping through your body.  “A contractor?  What the hell do you need a contractor for?”

His eyes focused on yours, and you finally saw a glint of mischief behind them.

“Cause I’m building a yoga studio in the house.  Immediately.”

You choked out a laugh and leaned over the center console.  Grabbing him by the thin cotton of his shirt you pulled him in and smacked a wet kiss to his lips.  He smiled against your mouth and growled playfully at you.  “You’re a nutter, you know that Niall Horan?”

He pecked another kiss to your lips and leaned back into his seat.  “Nah, just a man who knows what he likes.”

[hieisdarkdragonchick]

I do not know what i am

I was raised by men, and i can appreciate a really pretty girl when i see one, i tend to think every girl is pretty, but i know which ones align with the standards of those men.

I was not allowed to talk about the attractiveness of men. But i was forced to constantly hear some very derogatory things about attractive women.

I was not allowed to speak out about it.

I was to sit, and wait and follow orders.

My job was the kitchen and the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning and all of the things that men 'shouldnt have to do'.

When guest came over i was put in the spare room and they were given mine..

When i was 12 a man came to stay and he was given my room.

He was nice at first, he saw that i liked books and he showed me his collection.

He noticed i liked crafts and he would give me money to make him things.

He seemed nice, and he was foriegn so he had many interesting stories.

He gave me coins from different places.

But his hugs were too tight.

The way he hugged me was weird and it made me uncomfortable.

I became wary of him.

I wasnt sure if he had touched me on purpose or not.

I was ordered to hug him, he was my uncle after all. (Recently, at the time, married to my great aunt and staying with us while the house got fixed apparently).

I avoided him. He would catch me washing laundry and 'help' me by commenting on my underwear, make an excuse to corner me when no one was looking and touch me in places i did not want to be touched. He would say if i told i would get into trouble, everyone would think i was to blame. It was my fault. I should thank him for teaching me how to be a big girl.

He asked in front of everyone if i was angry at him for something.

I was embarrassed, frightened. He was smiling behind that stupid glass, i knew he was cornering me, but i was afraid to tell them why i was afraid.

Everyone was staring at me.

I said no.

Things got worse, he wanted to teach me grown up things, he would sneak into the guest room while i was sleeping and i would wake up with his tongue down my throat. I couldnt sleep anymore. I would hide under the covers and pray that someone would see what was happening and help me. He would tell me if i told he would kill my whole family in thier sleep. I was afraid. I never said a word. Eventually he left. It didnt make me feel better. i tried to get on with my life. To pretend like it never happened, like i was normal...

I was put on birth control at a young age but was told it was to help with my period and that it was 'not because we dont trust you'

I never did anything against the rules.

I stayed between the lines.

I read books in the dead of night while my brothers snuck out to party.

I caught them with cigarettes and remembered what my DARE instructor had said about them. I snatched them and ran and i destroyed them and tossed them over the fence, useless.

I cried in my junior year when a boy took off his shirt and i saw that he had abs. It was part mortification and part awe because I didn't know that six packs actually existed.

I played sports, and i liked them, but i quit because my father and grandfather turned everything into an excuse to scream and yell. It stopped being fun.

I was never allowed to correct them even when i had proof that they were wrong. Proof did not matter, the science was wrong the book was wrong, simply because the man of the house is always right.

I graduated high school, and for once was told by my father that he was proud of me.

But it was not for studying hard, or graduating, it was not for the scholarship or my decision to try college.

It was for not getting pregnant and bringing dishonor on our family.

There had never been a chance of that.

I was never alone except with my books in the dead of night.

It hurt because i was the one who followed the rules.

I decided on a college and was shot down, if i went there, i was told 'you are abandoning the family just like your mother'.

I went to a different college instead, the one my father graduated from, it was 30 minutes away and if i was late getting home even by five minutes he would get into his truck and come looking for me.

He would demand to know why i was late when i met him on the road and get upset if the answer was anything other than 'the teacher held us back'.

I eventually worked up the courage to apply to the college i originally chose. I did it hesitantly behind his back, because i wanted out.

I got accepted and i worked hard to get there, arguements abounded and when i moved in i was alone.

It hurt because i was afraid.

I had always been given orders someone else always knew what to do.

But i was in unfamiliar territory.

I was 100 miles away.

Not far, but far enough.

Too far according to them.

I made friends, i worked hard.

I still felt guilty.

Afraid.

I felt as if they would show up around the corner every time i made a decision.

I was always looking over my shoulder.

One 'friend' decided to catch me in the parking lot once on my way to the dorms from work. I was cornered between my open car door and him.

He grabbed me and groped me and i cried and i was terrified and someone just so happened to walk by and recognize me, they didnt see what was happening but they called out to me and it gave me an escape, because he backed off, there were people watching.

I hid in crowds after that.

I avoided him.

I made the walks from class to class as short and inconspicuous as possible.

He was angry.

He caught me between classes, and demanded that i apologise for my behavior.

He threatened me, he was a black belt, he was wearing a gi, sweating from his class. His eyes were blue and they terrified me, not just because of the grip he had on my wrist, but because my fathers eyes turned that exact shade of blue when he blacked out from rage.

Another guy saw what was happening and jumped to my defense.

He got slammed into the wall for his troubles, and lifted off the ground.

More people came to investigate the yelling and he was gone.

But i lived in terror from then on.

Afraid he would be around the corner.

Afraid to leave my dorm room.

Afraid to eat alone.

Eventually he disappeared.

I hesitantly got back into a routine, but i refused to walk even short distances alone.

I did my best to stay surrounded by people until i was home behind a locked door.

I missed my family, the protection they offered.

I found a familiar face, from high school and he asked me out and i agreed, because i knew him, because he understood my fears and he promised he could protect me. He reminded me of home, and of safety.

But after awhile he demanded that we have sex. He said it was because he loved me, because its what couples did.

I had never been interested in sex, but i did it because it seemed like it was expected of me.

I never enjoyed it and always felt awful afterwards, in a few cases i just felt used.

But he told me if i got pregnant he would abandon me.

I should lose weight.I ate like a pig I was a bad person if i didn't want to do it.

I thought its what i was supposed to do when i dated someone for a long time.

After it ended i felt so awful and gross i couldnt scrub off his fingerprints.

I felt stupid.

I felt used.

I felt like trash.

I had agreed to it, but it wasn't fun, it didnt feel good, i hated myself.

I worried for a solid month.

He decided from then on that i owed it to him.

When i finally worked up the courage to break it off i had decided that i hated men.

But i met someone three years ago who changed my feelings.

I dont know what happened but i sort of automatically trusted him.

He was constantly worried about doing something that would make me uncomfortable and if he asked me if i was uncomfortable and i said yes he would immediately back off.

When we finally did have sex he was worried he might have hurt me or made me uncomfortable to the point that I actually felt really safe and relaxed and it was almost funny to me how concerned he was.

The thing is... I actually really enjoyed it for once.

Not just the sex.

But his personality...

How concerned he was. he was awkward and worried and kind and gentle

No one had ever treated me gently before.

Even now, after three years he always asks, he always worries, he is always gentle and careful and kind.

Despite everything he thinks im pretty, he doesn't yell, he never yells. He always asks if I'm okay, if i am afraid of someone he takes me away from them, if i am anxious he soothes me. We have our own little bubble, I dont have to worry when he is with me.

I want to run away with him and never look back.Maybe then i can imagine for awhile that we are the only two people in the universe. That all those bad things were just a nightmare. That i woke up to his face and he told me that i was safe and none of it was real. That i will always be safe, that he will always be here, that nothing in the universe can ever take him away from me. That i wont be alone again and i dont have to be afraid of anyone or anything. But when he is gone, even if its just to work, i am alone, i am afraid, i dont want to exist, existence is worry and fear and darkness when he is not here, there is danger in places that i used to think were safe.

He worries too, he gives me tools to protect myself, small weapons and sprays, we can't afford much. I don't know if they will be enough, i jump when a stranger approaches me in a parking lot, when someone i dont know speaks to me in a library, i fiddle with the pepper spray as i pump gas and with the knife as i pay for it. All the doors are locked, if he leaves the vehicle i am with him. Its gotten dangerous lately, people getting abducted, raped, sold. Always from the person asking for help or seemingly just looking for a pleasant chat.... I am safe with him, i can not sleep if he is not there with me. And everyone tells me i am stupid for being afraid. That i spend too much time with him. That we are too attached and its not normal. That not being able to sleep wothout him is silly and i am being ridiculous. They don't understand why i cant sleep, why i am afraid, why i have anxiety attacks when they corner me or try to fix me. The therapists says my problem is that i am afraid to be angry. I should use i statements, i am afraid to tell her everything that no one else knows, so i write it here instead. Because maybe someone will understand why i cant say any of this out loud. Why i am afraid. Maybe someone can tell me how to be brave, and strong and how to sleep with the light off.