#which is why i have been less active this year

[booasaur]

I think there are some takeaways here, if we want to learn from this.

First: third-party voters were irrelevant. In no swing state did left-leaning third-party voters add up to enough to push Harris over.

Second: many progressive policies and politicians outperformed Harris.

Third: appealing to Republicans did not work.

It has never worked, in the US or in Europe, we've seen time and again that giving ground to right wing policies only legitimizes them and voters then prefer the original. For example, if you worry about immigration, and both sides are saying it's a problem, who do you trust more to handle it?

Fourth: polls were pretty accurate. There were months, years, really, of debate about polling being broken, which demographics were underrepresented, which were overrepresented, herding, hopes that they were overcorrecting for the last two misses on Trump, but they ended up closer than anybody wanted. Which also means that Biden would have lost by even worse.

Fifth: on the one hand, people should hopefully see this graphic and realize there's no minority to scapegoat:

On the other hand, I'm seeing a lot of people take it as a sign the country has simply shifted to the right in a huge, undeniable way that's depressing and ominous and feels hopeless. After all, Trump will win the popular vote by a lot, the first time a Republican has in decades.

However, this should be taken in conjunction with these numbers:

Now THIS is something that's open to further analysis and that can be worked with.

Why did so many Democrat voters not show up?

Here are some potential reasons for this, the truth most likely being a combination of at least several of them:

She's a Black-Indian woman. There's no denying the racism and misogyny among the US electorate, but given earlier polls where she was leading, I don't think this was the main or certainly only reason.

She was seen as too progressive/leftist. Again, by virtue of our racist, misogynistic electorate and our billionaire-owned media, Harris was seen as too extreme left by a lot of people, not just because of policies, but because inherently, her identity itself is extreme left to them. I personally don't think this was a crucial factor because, again, she had been leading when she was going stronger on the progressive messaging, other progressive policies and politicians outperformed her, and a lot of the people who think she's too extreme are Republicans who'd never vote for her. I just don't think it's a good enough reason for the millions of Democrats who didn't show.

Palestine. There's a coalition of pro-Palestine people, not just Muslims and Arab Americans but leftists and other POC too, but numerically, their vote for third parties made no difference. Did enough shift to Trump or not show up at all? Certainly in Michigan they swung to the right, but would that have made a difference? Did they matter in other less tangible ways, e.g., a lot of the same active progressives who'd have been out campaigning simply voted quietly for Harris and left it at that? How much of a distraction was this for Dems, having to constantly address Gaza as opposed to putting forth their own policies, and did it contribute to the overall perception of them being incompetent and weak and bringing chaos when people were tired of it? I think Palestine did have an effect, but enough to swing it overall...?

Not being progressive enough. A lot of people will point to Palestine and immigration, the decision to campaign with Liz Cheney and Mark Cuban and court Republican moderates, stifling Walz, and various other shifts that abandoned the left for the center and then the left didn't show up while the center went for Republicans as they always do, but the left isn't that large. I think, if this one point is a factor, it's more that it was simply difficult for normal voters to show up when they didn't really know what the candidate stood for, aside from "more of the same" and "not Trump".

Biden. When you have a ton of people unhappy with where the country is going, including their biggest priority, the economy, being tied to an unpopular incumbent was going to be tough, especially when, as a Black-Indian woman, she would be judged as disloyal if she broke too much from him. Nevertheless... People were unhappy with him and his administration.

Ultimately, I think there's a lot to learn and I hope Dems will.

I think we're in for a tough time and we're going to need community and solidarity, not fighting among ourselves.

[buckydeservesthebest]

My pal @tragicfantasy-girl already made an excellent and thorough contribution, but I still want to give my two cents addition.

First of all, it seems to me that saying that “the world has moved past the need for Bucky stans”, is at the very least, a very dogmatic statement on @wenellyb part. Because by its own definition, being a fan doesn't come from the fact that it's “necessary”, it comes from the empathy, sympathy, congeniality one feels towards a certain character. No one can prohibit someone from being a fan and much less their right to express the thoughts and opinions they may have about it, freedom of expression is a basic right.

Secondly, as my friend rightly said, the OP just makes it clear that Bucky fans do need to exist. And not for the sake of fangirling/fanboying but because Bucky is the agglomeration of many (too many) of the worst experiences anyone could ever experience. He was a prisoner of war, he was exposed to decades of physical and psychological torture, he was subjected to ECT during these 70 years which caused him irreparable brain damage and this subject has never been talked about. Bucky is an amputee, disabled and suffers from C-PTSD (a much more severe version than simple PTSD), depersonalization crisis, depression, anxiety and many other mental illnesses. The number of people who can relate to him to one degree or another is overwhelming.

We Bucky stans never try to minimize all the trauma and suffering that Sam and other characters have gone through. Almost every Marvel character suffers from some sort of trauma and of course this is important and should be treated with great respect. But it must be recognized that even within traumatic experiences, there are levels of severity that are based on both the duration and the level of short and long term damage that these experiences entail.

When we say that Bucky is one of the victims who have suffered the most, it is not only because he endured one of the longest lasting and most damaging tortures to anyone's psyche, but also because unlike absolutely every other character, be it Clint, Erik Selvig, Helen Cho, Jessica Jones, Yelena and the other BWs who were victims of mind control, or Isaiah who was a victim of imprisonment and experimentation, Bucky does not enjoy the right to be recognized as a victim of either mind control or imprisonment and experimentation.

Bucky has been actively blamed over and over again (with the exception of Steve of course, and T'Challa) for a situation in which it is perfectly well known he is innocent because he had no agency. Bucky is blamed for the harm his captors caused others, as is the case with Isaiah's “Even your people (HYDRA) weren’t done with me” situation. HYDRA is NOT Bucky's people, they were his kidnappers and enslavers. Because yes, Bucky was a slave of HYDRA, because he was under the total domination of a third party, which is one of the definitions the dictionary gives to the word slave.

I have seen several of the stans complaining about how Sam was mean/unfair or still treated Bucky like he was still the Winter Soldier or like he was responsible for his crimes as the Winter Soldier, which is all untrue by the way.

Yes, Sam did hold Bucky responsible for what he was forced to do as the Winter Soldier, and this on more than one occasion, whether from jokes that aren't funny to serious statements:

"You were stopping all the wrongdoers *you* enabled as the Winter Soldier" Ep 05.

"They cleared the bionic staring machine, and he killed almost everybody he’s met." Ep 03.

"We're not assasins" Ep. 02

And don't get me started on the ableist jokes Sam made about Bucky's condition:

"What’s going on in that big cyborg brain of yours? I can actually see it. I can see the gears turning. Oh, they’re malfunctioning, shutting down. Yep, they’re on fire." "(...) the bionic staring machine (...)" "I get it, why you want me to talk to *Freaky* Magoo over here"

Isn't Sam treating Bucky badly in these situations? Isn't he being unfair by blaming Bucky for what he “did” as the Winter Soldier, knowing full well that he didn't have the remotest control over his actions? Isn't he having a discriminatory attitude with all that ableist banter?

As tragicfanstasy-girl rightly said, Sam's fans hold double standards by getting upset because we don't acknowledge Bucky's "bad" treatment of Sam, when they refuse to acknowledge all the victim-blaming and ableism Sam subjected Bucky to. Where is the fairness in this way of reasoning?

To accuse Bucky of treating Sam "badly", just like that, is not only to remove all context from the situation, because “treating badly / mistreating” implies that this behavior comes out of nowhere, for no apparent reason, and that it is generally done with the intention of making the other person feel bad.

That is why I would not use the term “treat badly”, because none of Bucky's behavior comes from malice or bad faith. As my friend rightly said, it comes from the pain, depression, self-loathing of a suffering person.

But let's look at the whole context a little deeper. More than anything else, what Bucky did was to express his displeasure and disapproval about Sam's decision to give up possession of the shield (it's what give up something means), nothing else.

And here's the kicker, Bucky did NOT criticize or judge Sam as a person, he criticized his specific ACTION/DECISION of giving up the shield. At literally no point did Bucky ever insult him or use derogatory terms towards him or label him as incapable of protecting Steve's legacy, something he originally did agree to do.

And I mean, if we think about it, there ARE compelling reasons for Bucky and anyone else to disagree with Sam's decision, and NOT for the fact of him not wanting to wield the shield, BUT for the act of giving up its possession. Giving up its possession to the museum that the government owns. The same government that has proven to make terrible decisions time and time again. The same government that wanted to have control over enhanced people. The same government that confiscated Steve's shield and Sam's wings for being against it. The same government that has proven to be anything but trustworthy and fair.

So therein lies the problem for Bucky (besides wanting to protect Steve's legacy and the emotional attachment he feels towards the shield), the problem is that Sam put the shield in the hands of those who could misuse it, and literally that's where the whole problem with Walker came from.

To summarize (and I apologize if I already said several times), the problem for Bucky was NEVER that Sam had not wielded the shield or that he had not adopted the mantle of Captain America, because he was in possession of the shield for months after Steve's death, and did not wield it, continuing to maintain the alias of Falcon. And that was fine, no criticism of Bucky comes from this fact, but again, from the fact of having ceded possession of the shield to those who could misuse it.

(I mean, even if the shield had been kept in the museum, there was a risk that anyone could steal it and do whatever they wanted with it.)

Everything Bucky said to Sam about the shield was NOT meant to make him feel bad, but to convince him to do something about it, get it back and put it back in good hands, or rather, put it in Sam's hands. Because despite everything, Bucky NEVER doubted for a second that Sam was the right one to wield it and be the next Captain America. Bucky continued to actively support and believe in him, that's why he gave him the shield once they took it away from Walker, and that's why the favor he asked the Wakandans was to make a new suit for Sam.

It's unfair to say that Bucky was a asshole to Sam, when he helped him with his mission to capture the Flag Smashers, even when it was none of his business. Bucky actively defended Sam both in combat, and from the racist attitude of the cops in episode 2, as well as Walker's attempt to intervene in Sam's mission for trying to reason with Karli in episode 4: “he knows what he's doing”.

Again, at absolutely no point did Bucky doubt that Sam was a good and capable man and the right one to carry on Steve's legacy. None of this is “treating badly” if you ask me.

The first thing Bucky did when he met Sam was blame him “You shouldn’t have given up the shield”. No “hello”, no “good morning”, no “how have you been Sam?, when we know that Sam has been checking up on Bucky, and texting him but Bucky didn’t reply. So Bucky ghosts Sam, and only comes back to blame him about giving up the shield.

Besides the fact that Bucky did have reason to express his displeasure about Sam's decision, and as tragicfantasy-girl explained earlier, Bucky's attitude does not come from malice or bad faith, but from pain, guilt and grief.

My pal gave an incredible introspection as a person who has sadly gone through traumatic experiences. These points of view are very, very important because they offer a perspective that people who have not been through a similar situation may not understand.

I cannot speak from this point of view, but I can offer my opinion as someone who lost a very close loved one and who has not yet overcome a grief that has already lasted 3 years. So I can say from my own experience, that losing a close loved one generates a very strong emotional attachment to their belongings and we become very over protective of them, and anything that may represent a lack of respect towards those belongings is considered a very serious offense. It is true that everyone grieves differently, but from what I can see, Bucky grieved very similarly to what I experienced. This is one of the many reasons I can empathize with him. And if I see one of the possessions my loved one entrusted to others being misused or disrespected, I will not hesitate to express my outrage at the person causing the situation. I wouldn't even have the head to greet them kindly first.

When you live a very painful and recent bereavement, the last thing that goes through your mind is to be the kindest person to others, and you just prefer to isolate yourself, you don't want to have to see anyone... At least that's how I lived it...

To say that Sam was checking on Bucky is a very specific interpretation of the fact that he sent him messages. This could mean many things, not necessarily that he was looking out for Bucky's welfare. In fact, in an interview that was done for the series, where Seb and Anthony were present, the interviewer asked what the content of those messages would be, and Anthony jokingly replied “Hey, did you kill someone?”, and everyone agreed that that was most likely the type of messages Sam sent to Bucky. Actually, this is consistent with Sam's character who tried on more than one occasion to dissuade Steve from his attempts to save Bucky, behaving consistently hostile towards him by making unkind remarks before every little remark Bucky made, always expressing the dislike he felt for him.

So, nobody can't blame Bucky for not wanting to respond to those kinds of messages, which are nothing more than mockery of all the severe trauma he still suffers.

Not only did Bucky actively support and believe in Sam, and never try to express his displeasure at his continued ableist and victim-blaming comments (because unfairly Bucky believes he deserves them), but the plot had him apologize for his own white privilege as well as Steve's! Bucky had to apologize because Steve made a decision (to give the shield to Sam) without considering what it would mean for a black man. It was Steve who put that burden on Sam, NOT Bucky, because he had no say in that decision. If anything, if anyone should apologize for that situation, it was Steve and NOT Bucky.

TFATWS revolutionized around the injustice of racism and how people in the black community can and should be considered victims for that, but it never addressed the issue of the injustice of victim-blaming over all the time Bucky has been held responsible for everything he was forced to do under mind control, and how he also deserves to be recognized as a victim. Sam, Sharon, and everyone gets a pass on blaming Bucky for the harm he was forced to commit, something only HYDRA is responsible for, just because “they too have suffered injustice”. NO, suffering injustice does NOT give you the right to be unfair to others.

Everything, absolutely everything within the TFATWS plot was focused on vilifying Bucky, and making him look like the cause or at least a participant in all the evils and tragedies that have taken place in everyone's lives. “Bucky's people hurt Isaiah”, "Sharon became a criminal for helping Steve to help Bucky", "Bucky was thoughtless for not thinking about what it could mean for a black man to be Captain America". In none of these situations did Bucky have a word.

And talking about Bucky hurting people, I have NEVER seen a Bucky stan talking about how awful what he did to Yori was. He befriended a man knowing full well he had killed his son? What kind of mindgame was he playing.

This is one of the most misguided and out of context takes I have ever read.

There is NO mind game, because all Bucky was trying to do was make amends for the damage done to others that he believes he is responsible for. Yori lost his son and became a lonely man, Bucky couldn't revive him but he could try to somehow fill the void his loss left in his father's life. That's why he tried to spend time with him, tried to be there for him, and his company was good for him. Leah recognized him. Yori already knew that his son had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, ending up being one of the many killed by an unnamed assassin who broke into the hotel where he worked.

Knowing the identity of the person who pulled the trigger brought absolutely NOTHING revelatory or healing for Yori that would allow him to find closure. That's why Bucky didn't tell him, not only because telling him that would only put Yori through a new grief, but because it would prevent Bucky from being able to continue to be there for him. It's because of all this that the scene of Bucky telling Yori the truth is one of the most criticized by fans, BECAUSE IT OFFERS NOTHING HEALING FOR EITHER YORI OR BUCKY.

And please don’t get me started on how they tried to make Ayo the “bad guy”, when Bucky had just broke out Zemo out of prison, the guy who killed King T’Chaka, without thinking about the consequences and the impact on his Wakandan friends.

Again, there is a very pronounced misinformation and lack of context here. Bucky assisted Zemo in his escape, because according to the plot and the writers' logic, Zemo was the only one with the resources to discover the origin of the new super soldier serum and track down the Flag Smashers. The book The Art of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (which was written by the production of the series itself, which makes it totally canonical), offers more information about the whole issue of Zemo's escape from prison. It is clearly stated there that before resorting to his intervention, Bucky and Sam had already exhausted all other available options, the last card being Zemo. And it is also stated and I quote, “Zemo refuses to help from behind bars, so Bucky assists him in his escape.” This implies that Bucky first tried to get useful information from him, without having to release him from prison, but he refused. So again, according to the plot, Bucky did the right thing by assisting him in his escape because Zemo was the only one who could offer help.

No one ever said that Ayo or the Wakandas were the “bad guys” for wanting to go arrest Zemo, Bucky himself understands how this impacted their pride. And at no time did he refuse to hand him over to them, he just asked them for a little more time, because his intention from the beginning was to return Zemo to prison, and Zemo himself knew it. Ayo understood that, and that's why she gave an ultimatum of 8 hours before returning. Bucky understood it too. That is why he never objected to the Dora's intention to arrest Zemo after those 8 hours.

What we do consider unfair on the part of the Wakandans is the fact that they hid from Bucky the existence of the fail-safe that disconnects his arm, his prosthesis, one that they gave him without any previous condition, without considering that Bucky's ignorance of this fail-safe could be potentially fatal for him, in case he found himself in a situation in which he was hanging for his life by his left arm, and that by pure bad luck something activated that mechanism.

All of this coupled with the objectification associated with Bucky's disability. The way in which Ayo dehumanized him horribly by removing a part of his body, all this in a form of power game, in which Bucky has no control over even his own body.

And worst of all (or I don't know what's worst in all this anymore) is the "reason" - if you can call it that - why Ayo did it, simply because she was upset that Bucky has stopped her from killing Walker, something that had nothing to do with her original mission of capturing Zemo. And frustrated by that, she blamed and dehumanized Bucky.... To say this was totally unfair on her part is an understatement.

We are not hating on Ayo as a person: but to the action of removing the ability aid from a disabled person. It's like if someone took away Dr X wheelchair or Matt Murdock's sight stick.

The dehumanization towards Bucky in TFATWS is treated with the same disrespect that James Gunn handled in Guardians of the Galaxy: Holiday Special, in which with much mockery and ableist comedy, his prosthesis was treated as a mere object and not as what it is: an ability aid.

It is because of all this and many many many more things that we Bucky stans continue to raise our voices about all the injustices and mistreatment that Marvel has subjected him to time and time again. Not because we believe he is the only character who has suffered, but because he is the only character who has not been done justice. Because he is the only character within all of Marvel that has been denied the right to be considered a victim, when everyone else can be without issue.

It is alarming how many posts still exist and are still being shared where Bucky is still considered guilty for what he was forced to do as the Winter Soldier, even though it is well known among fans that he had no remote control over his actions. The level of victim-blaming that exists is disturbing. And not only because this is an injustice to the character of Bucky, but because it is also an injustice to everyone who can relate to him in this regard.

These are a couple of comments from a Twitter user, in which the person was affected on an emotional level by all the victim-blaming that was shown on TFATWS as if it wasn't a bad thing. Who knows how many people have been affected by this and we just don't know. “If Bucky is guilty for a situation he had no agency in being mind-controlled, then I, who was not brainwashed, am certainly guilty, even though I had no opportunity to offer resistance.” Do you realize the impact this has on people???

So NO, we will NEVER shut up and stop asking for justice for Bucky, because asking for justice for him also means asking for justice for all those people who can identify with his suffering.

The world has moved past the need for Bucky stans. They serve no other purpose than to write long stories explaining why their characters is the most miserable character, who has suffered the most, has had the most unfair treatment in the world and then forget and dismiss anyone around their character. Let’s not forget how entitled they act whenever there is a big announcement for Sam’s character, and immediately demand the same for Bucky. Even though there are 364 other days where they could do the complaing for their character, they conviently choose the day there is a big announcement for Sam’s character to complain and make demands they have no right to make, instead of praising Sam’s character just once in their life.

And honestly, I don’t even think they really like Bucky as a character because they absolutely refuse to see him as he really is or see the ways their character has grown.

Like Tony Stans before them, and unlike any other fans in the MCU, Bucky stans have the ability to always paint their character as the victim no matter what the circumstances, act as if their character is the only character to have ever experienced trauma in the history of characters. And they absolutely to refuse to see the flaws of their characters or any bad thing they do, They will blame all the bad things their character does on literally anybody BUT the character. They refuse to acknowledge that their character isn’t the only one who has feelings and who has known pain. We are slowly being freed from Tony stans, it’s time for the same thing to happen with the Buckies.

The last strike is that now they somehow came up with the idea that Bucky’s and Isaiah’s stories are somewhat similar. Excuse me but what???

What is surprising to me is that I never see this kind of behavior coming from Steve fans, Natasha fans, Thor fans and so on. Maybe I missed something.

It’s always the same fandoms that decide on one specific interpretation of a character and stick to it no matter what is happening on screen. They insist on Bucky being the one who needs to be taken care of, when Bucky in episode 5, and episode 6 was the one who was taking care of Sam ( getting the suit, helping with the boat, supporting with the flagsmashers). Do you even watch the shows your character’s involved in or do you just live in your headcanon? Do you even realize that you character is making progess and that unlike your headcanons Bucky seems to have more the profile of a nurturer once he starts healing? Bucky still has a long way to go, but have you seen him giving away that notebook? Starting to make amends the right way? Do you not see his progress?

They insist on Bucky being the one being hurt but turn a blind eye when Bucky is doing the hurting. And let’s not even talk about what happens when the other character interacting with Bucky is not White…

I have seen several of the stans complaining about how Sam was mean/unfair or still treated Bucky like he was still the Winter Soldier or like he was responsible for his crimes as the Winter Soldier, which is all untrue by the way. But then they never mention why Sam didn’t open welcome Bucky with open arms.

The first thing Bucky did when he met Sam was blame him “You shouldn’t have given up the shield”. No “hello”, no “good morning”, no “how have you been Sam?”, when we know that Sam has been checking up on Bucky, and texting him but Bucky didn’t reply. So Bucky ghosts Sam, and only comes back to blame him about giving up the shield. And even when Sam tells him he’s upset about the shield being given to Walker, Bucky keeps pestering Sam. And it keeps being that way for a major part of episode 2 and 3. 

And yet I have NEVER seen any Bucky stan talk about how Bucky treated Sam badly during that time.

Do you guys not remember the scene where Bucky apoligize? I just don’t understand, even Bucky understood that he f*cked up, and changed his behavior, why can’t his stans?

And talking about Bucky hurting people, I have NEVER seen a Bucky stan talking about how awful what he did to Yori was. He befriended a man knowing full well he had killed his son? What kind of mindgame was he playing.

And please don’t get me started on how they tried to make Ayo the “bad guy”, when Bucky had just broke out Zemo out of prison, the guy who killed King T’Chaka, without thinking about the consequences and the impact on his Wakandan friends.

Bucky stans don’t even acknowledge the feelings of other characters than their own. They did it with Endgame Steve with blablabla how unfair he was to abandon Bucky, even though Bucky knew Steve was leaving. And they are now doing it from Sam.

I really like Loki as a character but I’m sometimes annoyed at some stans that want to insist that he isn’t a villain, never did anything wrong and even go to the lengths to paint him as a victim when he killed actual people. But usually Loki stans don’t reach the levels of Buckies when it comes to putting on blinders whenever they are thinking about their characters. Most of them acknowledge Loki’s flaws and his wrongdoings and like him anyway. As they should.

Bucky stans need to step aside and leave Bucky’s character to people who really know how to appreciate him, who (unlike them) want his character to heal and be happy and see him as he is, flaws, wrongdoings, mistakes and most importanly who also see his growth. 

Most importantly, leave Bucky’s character to people who know how to tag properly and won’t tag a post that doesn’t even have Sam in it with “Sam Wilson” just to get more traction for their post.

[trippinsorrows]

ltye: in your hands

authors note: welp. here i am, once again. we're back with yet another 'what if' scenario, prompted by you lovely people in an ask that i can't seem to find to link right now. smh.

words: 3.3k

warnings: none. just sam being sam.

song inspo: in your hands by halle

Roman should have stuck with his first mind. Stayed home. Texted her some excuse about being caught up with work. She would have never found out the truth, and even if she did, he wouldn’t have given two fucks. 

Because this shit doesn’t seem to be getting any better. 

This dating thing. 

It’s gotta be at least the fifth or sixth one he’s taken her on, and each one has been just as miserable up until the point where he gets her on her knees, gagging or bouncing on his dick the minute they get back to his penthouse. Anything before that has been irksome, borderline miserable. 

Samantha is stunning. Has been since they were kids, and her body is the most desirable of the women he has on his roster. She leans on the thinner side of what he prefers, but the tits and ass are decent, regardless. She’s also just as kinky as him, which is why they’ve worked all these years.

But, the more “dates” Roman forces himself to power through, the more he’s starting to feel like bedroom activities is where it stops for them. 

Technically, he’s always known this. Even if he did have some level of desire to be in a real relationship with someone, which he doesn't, it would never be her. She’s vain, condescending, and seems to think she’s somehow better than the other women he fucks with.

If only she realized he views her just like he views the rest of the women. A warm body with a wet cunt to help him get his dick wet. 

“Roman!” Her voice cuts through his inner dialogue as he focuses on her cleavage. The dress she wore, short and tight, doesn’t help his desire to skip to the fucking part of this evening. “Did you hear what I said?”

“No.” Roman sees no sense in lying to her. “I probably don’t care either.”

She rolls her eyes and proceeds to continue like he literally didn’t just tell her he doesn’t care. “I was saying we should go somewhere.”

He’s partially intrigued now. Mostly because he’ll probably need to set her ass straight. “Where?”

She smiles and shrugs. “I don’t know. I was thinking Bora Bora.”

He shakes his head. “So go.”

She frowns, clarifying. “I said we should go, Roman.”

He scoffs, looking off at the ice sculpture in the middle of the upscale restaurant. A waste of money, in his opinion. “What the hell makes you think I have time to go to fucking Bora Bora with you?” He really wants to ask her what makes her think he would want to in the first place, but he’s trying to be somewhat less of an asshole to see if maybe this could work.

His Wise Man’s nervous voice balanced out with sage wisdom returning to the front of his mind.

“If the Elders are to force you into a marriage, why not with someone you already know? Especially someone who you know would have no issue in giving you an heir.”

If only Samantha wasn’t so fucking annoying.

She leans back in the chair. “You make time for these dates.”

Out of obligation. But, he won’t say that. “Yeah, but I can get my nut and send your ass packing in the same night. Can't do that if we're out of the fucking country.”

“You’re suck a di—”

“I’m so sorry.”

Soft. It’s the first thing that comes to mind hearing her voice. Light, almost. Kind. Even with just three words being spoken. And that’s just based off audio. Visually, Roman’s thoughts take an entirely different direction.

Stunning. 

Roman’s seen, entertained, and done a lot more with some beautiful women in his time, but the one standing at their table seems to have something more than all of them put together. She’s beautiful, easily one of the most gorgeous women he’s ever laid eyes on. And her smile, small but genuine makes him pause. As does her body.

She’s wearing the same uniform he’s noticed on the other waitresses, but none of them fill them out like she does. The white, long sleeved shirt that’s tucked into the knee length black pencil skirt can’t hide the curves he can practically see through the bland outfit. Nice, heavy breast. Curvy hips, thick thighs and an ass he can partially see from the front. 

This. This is his preferred body type. A woman who has something he can grab onto when he’s fucking her from behind. And Roman can only imagine what it would be like to be holding onto those luscious hips of hers while he—

“Oh my god, are you stupid?” Samantha’s annoying voice once again pulls him from his carnal fantasies. She gestures between herself and him. “Can you not see we’re in the middle of something?”

The girl, who Roman would guess is in her late twenties, early thirties at most, immediately looks repentant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—I was just going to apologize for your wa—”

“Whatever.” Samantha lifts her hand, silencing the girl who’s now looking down at her shoes, clearly embarrassed. “What’s the special for this evening?”

“What’s your name?” Roman’s question comes out at the same time as Samantha’s inquiry. However, his voice clearly presents with more of a commanding nature. 

She swallows. “S–Solana.”

Pretty. Just like her. 

Samantha notices the way Roman is looking at her and is fully confused as to why he’s asking this fat troll for her name. She cuts in again, in that same nasty tone. “Hello? I asked you a question.” 

Solana is clearly struggling with Samantha’s aggressiveness, Roman wondering why this bitch is directing whatever unresolved feelings she has onto this innocent girl. “Umm, I think—”

Samantha scoffs, nose turned up. “You’re our waitress, and you don’t even know what the evening special is?”

“No ma’am, I do. I’m sorry. It’s just—it’s been a long day.” There’s a weight to her words, a sadness in her voice and in her pretty brown eyes. Roman notices all of these things and finds himself wondering what the story is. Everyone has one, and hers is suddenly of interest to him. For reasons he cannot understand. 

“Pretty unprofessional to bring up your personal life, don’t you think?”

Solana closes her eyes, pausing before answering. She looks exhausted. Mentally and physically. “It’s Squab. That’s the main co—”

“I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.” Roman rolls his eyes. This hoe has been saying that since they were in high school, yet every so often she goes back to having a normal fucking diet only to switch back to that salad shit. “What’s on your—”

“I’ll do us both a favor and get her to shut the fuck up.” Roman has had enough, both of Samantha’s grating voice but mostly her being a bitch to this girl for no reason. He’s a dick on the regular. He knows this. But, never has he come across someone like this Solana woman who, with just her presence alone, exudes such softness. Like, she doesn’t have a mean bone in her fine ass body. And she clearly doesn’t because anyone else would have probably lost their job by cussing Samantha out. Not that it wouldn’t be deserved.

Roman catches the faintest hint of a smile on Solana’s face as she redirects her attention to him. “Give her the salmon. I’ll take your best steak. For wine, you carry Madeira?” 

She’s pulled out her notepad and finishes taking down the order before answering with a nod. “Yes, sir.”

Roman’s jaw clenches at that sir bit. He could ruin this girl. “What do you recommend?”

She’s visibly taken back by his question, probably by the fact that he’s asking her for her opinion. “Umm—”

“Roman, I can rec—”

“I didn’t ask you,” he cuts that bitch off with the quickness, eyes never leaving the pretty girl before him. “I asked Solana.”

Her smiles widens as she answers in a more confident tone. “Julio Barros…..1950.”

Roman smirks. 

Exactly what he was going to order.

“I’ll take it.”

Their gazes linger on each other a second too long for Samantha’s liking as she cuts in once once more. “You can go now.”

Solana’s smile drops again, Roman suddenly finding himself all annoyed. Her smile is something pretty that he wouldn’t mind seeing more of, though that irritation is waned as he’s granted the view of her nice, round ass and curvy hips swaying as she walks to the back to turn in their order.

Samantha reaches over and touches his hand, Roman snatching it back and sneering at her. “What?”

She sighs. “Baby, I’m trying to talk about us.”

And just like that, he’s annoyed all over again. “There is no us.”

Samantha looks sad only for a brief second. “Roman, I’m not stupid. I know what these dates have been for. You’re trying to see if it could work.”

“If what could work?”

“Us.” She goes on to share. “There’s rumors that the Elders have been putting more pressure on you to settle down and make an heir.” Sam leans over the table, intentionally trying to emphasize her cleavage. It’s nice. He’ll give her that. But, he’s certain it’s nothing compared to Solana though and those big breast of her hers. “I can do that for you. Be that for you. Be your wife. The mother of your children.”

Not a damn thing she’s saying sounds even the least bit desirable. At all. 

“I mean, we’ve been fucking around since we were kids. Why not make it official?”

For a lot of reasons. All the reasons. The main one being Roman don’t like this bitch unless she’s choking on or riding his dick. 

What he does like, however, and finds solace in is the interactions with Ms. Solana as the evening goes on. They’re not very often outside of her bringing the bottle of wine and their food when it’s ready as well as a check-in here or there on how they’re doing.

Each time Samantha sending her the dirtiest look or just being an ol’e nasty bitch, to which Roman shuts down, cutting her off and even telling her to shut the fuck up.

The girl is just trying to do her damn job. And as his eyes locate and land on her on several different occasions, he can see that she works hard. Moving from table to table, almost saddened facial expression indicates she’s on the receiving end of more verbal lashings from people like Samantha.

That actually pisses him off, Roman having to control and stop himself from doing some out of pocket shit. 

Again, for what reason, he hasn’t the slightest clue. He just knows those brief glimpses of her actually smiling, usually when she’s chatting with a coworker, do something for him. 

Maybe even to him. 

And unbeknownst to him, the intrigue goes both ways, because as shitty a day Solana Miller was having, the handsome stranger with the rude girlfriend or wife or whatever has somehow, someway made this day just a little bit better.

It’s been some time, if ever, Solana has come across someone with such a presence about them. Him dining at this uppity restaurant she was able to score a job at tells her that he’s wealthy. His disposition and the fact that he somehow secured it to where the surrounding tables of where he sits have been marked as unavailable tells her that he has pull. But, the way he interacts with her, a literal nobody, she’s not sure what that means.

Especially with the beautiful woman he’s with, because while Solana thinks she’s every bit a bitch as most of the women who come into this place, she’s a stunning bitch. 

Which is why Solana can’t allow herself to believe that that equally beautiful looking man is looking at her in any sort of capacity. 

There’s no way in he—

“Solana.”

And just like that, she's frowning again. “Mami?”

The last thing she expected to see this evening was the sight of her mother, already dressed in her scrubs, baby in her arms. 

Solana’s baby. 

Her 11-month–old daughter, Soraya. 

The shock wears off as Nina gets closer, Solana shaking her head, “what are you—”

Nina shakes her head, face apologetic and tone contrite. “I’m so sorry, baby, but I got called into work. I can’t watch Raya.”

Shit

It's inconvenient, but Solana understands it. She remembers the countless times Nina had no other option but to leave her with a neighbor after being called into work at all kinds of hours. She’s always worked so hard to take care of the two of them when Solana was growing up. 

“It’s okay, mama.” Solana easily reaches for her daughter, a wave of relief and happiness washing over her as she holds and kisses her baby. The source of all her joy. All of the struggle, every bit of it, is worth it as long as she has her daughter. She’d do anything for her. “How was she?”

Nina gives a small chuckle. “She’s like you were and still are. An easy child.” Solana kisses Soraya’s temple. “Sol…..” And just like that, Solana already knows she’s probably not going to like what she’s about to hear. “I know you’ve said you don’t want to go after him for child support, but it’s not fair for you to be out here working two jobs while putting yourself through school to take care of his child.”

Solana holds Soraya just a smidge tighter. “She’s my baby, mami.” 

Nina counters. “She’s his biological child.” Solana looks away, hopeful her manager, Aldis, doesn’t come out and scold her for this little interaction. She’s scheduled to clock out in another half hour anyway. “He should be paying you child support.”

Her mom is right. Solana knows this, knows that it’s not fair for her to have to be the sole provider for her baby girl, while Cruz lives his best life as an absentee, deadbeat dad. And she’s considered on several occasions going to the courthouse to see what she needs to do to get that ball rolling. 

But, every time, she’s haunted by something he said the last time they spoke, not even a month after her daughter was born. 

“Don’t you get it? We were fine before she came in the picture! We could be fine again if she wasn’t.”

Solana’s never been more disturbed than she was to hear those words leave his mouth. That’s why she’s glad he’s gone, that he wants nothing to do with her or his child. Because she would never trust to leave her baby girl with him in the first place.

And if that means she does it without him contributing financially, that’s exactly what she’ll do. 

Solana shifts Soraya from one hip to the other. “I don’t need him, mami.” And she doesn’t. Because if Solana had to resort to sex work to take care of herself and her daughter, it’s exactly what she’d do.

Nina gives a heavy sigh. “Mija, you know I help you when I can.”

“I know.” Because she does. But, the same way that times are hard for her. They’re hard for her mom, too. Everyone’s struggling these days, it seems. Everyone except the rich people who wine and dine without a care in the world around them. “I’ll be okay.”

Always will be.

Nina gives a knowing nod, hugging her daughter and gently taking her granddaughter’s hand, kissing it, speaking in Spanish. “I’ll see you later, okay? Abuela loves you.”

Solana smiles. “Thanks, mama.”

“Always, baby.” 

Nina reaches Solana the diaper bag, Solana placing it on the bar stool, knowing it’s bound to be left alone. These rich ass people would never bother with the Ross purchase. With a final parting smile, Nina is off to the hospital, leaving Solana with her daughter who’s just now waking up.

“Hi, baby girl,” Solana giggles at the almost cranky expression on her baby’s face. Raya is definitely not the happiest camper when being woken up. 

A glance at the time reminds Solana that she technically is still on the clock and really shouldn’t have her child with her. But, with no other option, she accepts she’ll just have to clock out early and take whatever those consequences are.

But before that, the least she can do is grab the bill from the table where the handsome stranger and his girlfriend sat. She’s briefly disappointed to see the table empty, even if she remembers his deep voice thanking her for her assistance this evening as she brought them that same check earlier. 

It’s a silly thing, really. And she tries to push away the disappointment at not properly telling him goodbye. A stranger. 

Silly.

Soraya grasps at the collar of her shirt while Solana walks over to the table, pausing as she gets close enough to see that there’s more than just a bill with a signature. There’s cash. A stack of it. Money in hand, she’s confused, because this man paid with a black card, so what—

“Good.” 

Solana gaps and spins around, her eyes widening as she looks up. He’s a lot taller than she realized, burly body nearly eclipsing her view of anything else, silky black hair in such a neat, perfect bun. “Wanted to make sure you got it.”

Brows furrowed, it’s hard for her to speak for a lot of reasons. One of which is the fact that this man cannot be real. A man cannot be this handsome. But, he is real, and he’s looking at her.

And Soraya. 

“I—” She shakes her head, clearing her throat. “Is this—you already paid—”

“That’s not for the bill,” his voice is so velvety, smooth, and deep. “It’s your tip.”

Eyes widening, her gaze snaps to the wad of cash as Soraya continues to grasp and squeeze her shirt. She doesn’t even need to count to know that this is a nice amount of money. 

Too much.

“I can’t—it’s too much.” 

He chuckles, “do I look like I can’t afford it?” Her eyes roam over his big, muscular build dressed in fine, expensive looking clothes. He just oozes wealth. 

And power. 

“N–no.”

“Dealing with Samantha, trust me, you earned it.” Solana looks down, wanting to hide her small smile. His gaze redirects to the child in her arm. “Who is this?”

And just like that, Solana’s proud smile returns. “My daughter, Soraya.” It’s like Soraya knows she’s being discussed, lifting her little head to look at Roman. A big grin on her face before she buries her face into Solana’s neck. 

Roman makes a sound, and she can almost swear she sees the smallest smile on his handsome face. “She looks like you.”

That creates such a warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach, “thank you…..”

He looks at her a bit confused, like her unspoken question surprises him, before answering. “Roman.” Roman. “Roman Reigns.”

Roman Reigns. Even his name is powerful.

It fits him.

Solana shifts Soraya around as she starts to get wiggly in her arms. “Well, thank you, Mr. Reigns.” She’s certain the shock of just how much money this random, rich stranger has given her hasn’t truly set in. Because if it had, she’d have a much more visceral response. 

A lot more.

“Roman,” he corrects. “Call me Roman.” 

“Roman….” 

Something indecipherable flashes in his eyes, something that makes her feel a bit unnerved under his intense stare. It’s broken, however, by her now irritated daughter.

“Mama.” Soraya makes her dissatisfaction at being still for too long known by punching her tiny fist against Solana’s chest. “Mama!”

“Shhhhh,” Solana kisses her temple, trying to quiet her down before someone makes Aldis aware of her presence. She looks at Roman, eyes softening, “thank you again.”

Truly. Honestly. He hasn’t the slightest clue how much this will help her. It’s why she can stand here without anxiety and concern about making it to the bus stop on time. Tonight.....tonight she’ll treat herself and her baby with calling an Uber instead. 

Might even stop and pick up dinner.

Roman nods, eyes briefly glancing at her daughter again, the smallest smile on his face. “I’ll see you later, Solana.” His head dips a bit in acknowledgment towards her baby. “Soraya.”

The smile is plastered on her face even as he walks off without another word. And it’s only a good two minutes later that she catches onto what he said. A certain word in particular standing out the most. 

What did he mean by later?

[starmada4546]

Kamala Harris deserved to lose.

That’s a controversial statement, so let me get something out of the way right out the gate: I am not a Trump supporter. I fucking hate Trump’s racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, fascist guts, and I will until the day I die. I voted for Harris, I volunteered for her campaign and several other local campaigns in my area. I did everything a politically active person should do to participate in our democracy.

And yet I, and anyone who was paying attention knew how this election was going to go ahead of time, for one very simple reason. What were Kamala Harris’s policy positions? What did she actually run on? What did she say she was going to do differently? Building a million homes for working-class people who have had their salaries so undercutted by inflation and price hikes that they can no longer afford the kind of long term saving required for that? Increase child tax credits when grocery prices are so high that nobody can afford another mouth to feed? Raising taxes on billionaires? She’s the Vice President of the current administration, why are they not already being taxed? And furthermore, where is that tax money going? Clearly not Medicare for All, or Student Debt Relief, or anything that could actually constitute benefits for the average citizen.

Discussing which demographics are “responsible” for electing Trump is a fucking stupid discussion, and anyone engaging in it should feel absolutely fucking ashamed at buying into more crap that the oligarchs put up to divide us. Except for a few exceptions, the demographics were coin-flip toss ups. What happened was that Kamala Harris lost 15 million votes. Not to Trump, but to apathy. Trump got 3 million less votes than he did in 2020, and still won, because people didn’t vote for Harris. The battle was in voter turnout, like we always knew it would be, and the Democratic Party lost it. Why?

Because Kamala Harris ran, like Biden did, on being the anti-Trump. And regardless of whether or not you think that the Democrats are responsible for current woes, (and I do not,) that's not a winning strategy when the "Anti-Trump" is the one in power. Being the Anti-Trump isn't a policy position. It's not a solution to anyone's issues. It's merely a hope that people think Trump is worse, and as we've seen, regardless of whether or not it should, that does not win elections. When gas prices or grocery bills are so expensive people can barely afford to survive, saying "Well, those will be worse under Trump," is not a solution. It does not provide confidence that she has plans to fix the issues. It is a shrug of the shoulders, and a dismissal, and that's why so many people stayed home.

In 2020, when the problems could be blamed on Trump without any sort of understanding of the complex issues that caused the problems, because Trump was simply the one in power and The President's Job Is To Fix Everything, so being Anti-Trump worked. When Democrats have been in the white house for four years, and people feel like the problems still aren't fixed, they lose confidence that the democrats will fix the problem, so they don't vote.

When food prices are spiking, you don't say, "The other guy will make it worse," because that's what any candidate would say, and it's not particularly different than just purely mudslinging, and its a claim that Trump will deny vehemently, so you can't win that argument. What you need to say is "I'll subsidize agriculture," or, "I'll increase the accessibility and power of food assistance programs." Regardless of whether or not those things would actually work, what they are is some kind of solid plan to actually fix the fucking problem. It's said that people don't vote on policy, and that's true a lot of the time, or at least more than it should be, but people do vote on confidence, and having policy of any kind builds that confidence. Regardless of what you think of Trump, the man has plenty of plans to implement policy. It's terrible, awful, nation destroying policy, but that's getting into the details and the facts, and that's where the voters' eyes glaze over and they stop listening to you. The fact that Trump has plans to change the status quo and Harris does not is how she lost this election.

When the status quo is untenable, people will vote for whatever breaks it, and that wasn't Harris.

It also doesn't help that Harris has pretty much refused to significantly differentiate herself from Joe Biden, who has plenty of his own problems, and again, is the status quo. Joe Biden refused to step aside and relegate himself to being a single term president because of his personal pride, and the Democrats absolutely refused to consider not backing him until he was forced to step aside when his problematic degradation was put on full display for the entire country to see and mock. Then, instead of holding an actual primary, where voters could choose who they wanted to see on the Democratic ticket, they decided to simply coronate Kamala Harris, a historically unpopular candidate with historically low approval ratings, and force anyone who was against Trump to rally behind a candidate they didn't choose and statistically speaking don't like. Is it any wonder that her ticket hemorrhaged 15 million votes from 2020? That's before getting into her incredibly strange choices during her campaign, from again having essentially no policy positions, to picking a Tim Walz, who while being imo a good person, is from an entirely blue state and not a swing state, and has neither experience running against serious mainline GOP candidates, nor any real nationwide appeal beyond his personality, and we've already established that vibes don't turn out voters.

Kamala Harris, and on a larger scale the Democratic Party, deserved to lose this election because they have almost entirely abandoned any sense of being the progressive option. They've completely abandoned the progressive wing of their party, because who else are they going to vote for? Trump?

I don't like being the guy who says, "Harris hasn't earned the votes," because if you didn't vote, fuck you, you're nearly as culpable in this as the MAGAts, but is it any wonder why progressives are abandoning the democrats? After being ignored, fucked over time after time for nearly a decade at this point, literally screaming and begging for people to care about genocide, fascism, and the literal end of the world and getting a pat on the head and a vote sticker, what the fuck else did anyone expect? Harris cozied up with Liz Cheney and tried to court the votes of a few thousand moderate republicans, while tens of millions of progressive votes were expected, and then you're all trying to to blame them when those votes don't come? Shame, shame on you, ye moderate democrats who'd rather get into bed with the center-right than any kind of progressive, you get what you fucking deserve.

Normally, I'd laugh at establishment democrats fucking around and finding out, but this time, it's not just them finding out, it's the whole of America finding out with them. I don't really have any advice, because I'm just as shattered as anyone else. Hunker down, spend time with your loved ones, and maybe learn how to use a gun in case some neo-nazi decides to try to hate-crime you. I'm hoping that the Democrats learn their lessons from this, but honestly at this point, I'm not sure they're capable of learning, if there'll even be a democratic party to speak of come 2028. Right now, I'm gonna go stare at the election results and feel my faith in humanity crack a little bit more.

[cuubism]

I get it- about the parents thing. My mom was like "I'm just so relieved and thankful" meanwhile KNOWING that I (her eldest) identify as non-binary/trans. I'm so sorry you're having to go through it too.

I'm so sorry to hear that :( in my experience the Trump supporters who aren't as actively hateful end up wildly underestimating how hateful the administration is. There are plenty who passively support queer rights, are neutral/apathetic to it, or are anti-lgbt but in a "I just don't want to hear about it" way rather than "I think it should be illegal" way. The problem is they're still willing to align themselves with a party that's more hateful. They also have a position of "those things you're afraid of won't actually happen." They think fearing the Trump administration's homophobia and transphobia is alarmist. My parents are... maybe kind of passively homophobic in a 'why do they have to be so visible' way, in a 'we'd prefer our children to be straight' way, but they've moved somewhat left on it over time and would probably agree that gay marriage should remain legal, etc. Didn't stop them from voting for Trump. If I express concern about the roll-back of queer people's rights or women's rights, they would tell me 'that won't actually happen.' Same with Trump's threats to be a dictator. 'That's hyperbole' 'that's just how Trump talks' 'that can't actually happen.' It Can't Happen Here.

I think It Can't Happen Here is a blind spot of the so to speak "less radical" Republicans (and to an extent apathetic Democrats too). There's a certainty that no matter what, American democracy can't fail, that won't happen, not in the greatest country in the world. Autocracy happens to other people. America is free after all. Our national mythos blinds us and makes us arrogant.

Of course there are plenty of Trump supporters who would love for America to be less free in the specific way they want ie. Rules For Thee Not For Me, or they want to be free from other people's freedoms and equality. But I think it's inaccurate to assume all Trump supporters are pro-dictatorship, they're just complacent to it, or don't understand the threat. It's not very much less hurtful, though, to have family dismiss the threat against you as not real.

Rambling. I'm sorry we're in the same family boat. The queerphobia and misogyny in the country, and apathy towards it, is weighing heavy on me. I'm not even out to my parents because I take a position of People aren't owed information about you especially if they've proven themselves unsympathetic about it. Maybe more openness or an impassioned plea would have swayed them--who knows. I still love my parents but there's been a rift between us for years and I know they don't fully grasp why. Which hurts me.

I hope you have other friends and family who support you more 😔 the level of hatred towards trans people is sickening and worse when family doesn't have your back.

[utilitycaster]

If you're still answering these I don't have any rpg characters to share but I do love veth brenatto. Any spare thoughts about my girl?

Hey! so. technically the deadline was last night, which I'm saying to stave off further ones - thank you, truly, and I will be here in 2026 with the same game for the midterms. But I'll do this one as the last one, because I have been thinking about Veth a lot.

Some of it is something I said for the ask this morning, namely, I love the non-D&D rogueish archetype - Silk in the Belgariad/Mallorean, Vin in Mistborn, the general vibe of the Crows in what I know of Dragon Age (plus Nadia Carcossa, Thedas's most annoying woman and an inspiration, may we all be her except that bit at the end except not the bit at the end where she survives the impossible, we should do that, just don't get tricked by demons) but I think D&D mechanics stifle what I like - independence and ingenuity - in exchange for "well, because you can kill someone so fucking hard, you can only do it under the sort of circumstances one generally encounters in ancient Welsh folklore." Arcane tricksters are a really good way around those dumb mechanics. And through her backstory and relationship with Caleb, her story really coheres - I understand why she is a rogue and why she has the skills she does.

But I think what I like most about Veth, and there really is a lot to love about her, is that, like all the Mighty Nein, her story is about figuring out her place in the world and what she wants - how, when everything seemed lost to her, it forced her out of complacency. Veth is interesting because she's one of the few Nein characters who had actively built something of a life and was conscious of losing it. And I think that's why in some ways she struggles the most to find what her new one is. At times I felt it was a lack of direction, but with some space I really think it's a commentary on how she did have, in some ways, more to lose, and how in its own way her story is no less about grief than Caleb's is. For all Veth jokes about Yeza possibly being dead, and hitting on minotaurs, I do think, because her childhood wasn't exactly pleasant but it wasn't as obviously traumatic as Caleb or Fjord or Yasha's, she wonders what would have happened had this all happened a few years earlier. I don't think she regrets her marriage or her family, but I think she wonders, and that's a story people do not tell much, especially about women from their perspective, and it's a fascinating one. I don't like indecision in characters and Veth is the rare character who makes it compelling, and that is a testament to how good a concept she is.

[reparrishcomics]

( Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / RedBubble / Buy Me A Coffee )

[orcelito]

This morning, my therapist called me to let me know she's setting up her own practice via telehealth (which is what we were using Anyways) & asked me whether I'd want to follow her there. She still has to set stuff up with insurance stuff But her out of pocket stuff is like HALF what I've been paying out of pocket for the company she was in. So I was like, Hell Yeah let's do it

So im gonna keep up with appointments, maybe once a month or so, just so I have the accountability + the ability to ramble about what I've achieved. Bc that's been rly nice for me. I'll have my therapist back!!!! And better than ever, if only because I have to pay so much less for it 😂😂😂

And ALSO, today I put in my course request for the orchestra into the form. So different from just two weeks ago, where I was practically begging to be given a chance to audition. I was sitting in the same spot of the lobby even, but putting in my official orchestra request instead of sending an email as I vibrated in hope and anxiety. I Got It tho. And the class won't even be that late in the day. It's really exciting.

[mutalune]

hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery

[butchlifeguard]

i would love to do a really long essay about food conspiracies and fatphobia

[seedlessmuffins]

.

[sailorsleepymoon]

I’m playing cult of the lamb for the first time and the fact that I can only make one maid dress has me actually FUMING seething and sobbing I just beat the credits boss (I think I’ve played over 24 hours in less than 36…) and got them as a follower and the fact that I can’t make him and the other bosses walk around in maid dresses is fucking TEARING ME APARTTTTT

[binders-and-beanies]

ED tw in da tags i just need 2 vent

[autism-corner]

yay

[shinrarisen]

Just a quick note: This blog needs a massive cleaning up and bit or work put into rehauling things, but after talking it out with @honorisen, this is likely to happen after Rebirth's release! However, like I've mentioned on my other blog, please don't drop spoilers on either of us - We've both preordered the game, but as Kasa is super busy offline and I like to take games like this slowly, there's no way we're gonna get that far in it any too quick, and would like to navigate things for ourselves, on our own time. We already have a general idea on what we're going to be doing with our blogs come release, but we still want to play it ourselves first, which can take us a month or two to get our footing in enough to work things out blogwise.

I will say that as of right now, I can safely say this blog will not stay strictly for FF7. Kunsel (Who's been moved to this blog, hence the url swap some time ago between the two blogs) and Cissnei have had a Genshin Impact verse added as well as a fully original setting, and I do plan on growing these and doing more with them alongside the updates incoming to my primary 7 canon. I will also be keeping my blog's canon as is; I'm mainly Remake based and Kunsel and Cissnei are close to Sera and Zack and support them, and it's still going to stay that way. Further updates will come later on, after I've played Rebirth and have some time (and focus!) to work on things, both on my own and with Kasa. <3

Hope everyone enjoys Rebirth! <3

~Pom

[hedgehog-moss]

I saw an astronaut walking on the side of the road today, which is the kind of thing my brain will placidly accept at first, only to go "Wait, an astronaut" a minute later once I'm done with my previous train of thought. By then I felt like it might be too late to stop my car, but I ended up stopping anyway because I didn't want to spend the rest of the afternoon wondering.

I waited for the astronaut to catch up with me since they were going in my direction, but they didn't. Eventually I got out of the car and retraced my steps, and after a bend in the road when I saw no one walking towards me I decided the visitor must have gone back to their spacecraft and I would never get an explanation for this—and then in the distance I caught a glimpse of the white space suit disappearing into the forest.

I managed to catch up with them and they turned out to be a distant neighbour of mine (let's call her M.), and what looked like a space suit when I was driving by was a beekeeper's outfit! (Sorry for the pointless suspense but I was taking you on the same little journey my brain went through.) M. was tickled when she learnt that I mistook her for an astronaut—she told me she'd borrowed her husband's too-big shoes which made her drag her feet, hence why she looked like she was having trouble readjusting to Earth's gravity.

Then she said that one of her hives had swarmed, and she was pretty sure she knew where the swarm was. I had no idea how swarming worked so as we walked in the woods she explained that when a hive becomes too crowded, the queen will get replaced by a new one, and the old queen will leave along with half of the bees. After this split, the swarm will cluster somewhere nearby and wait while scout bees fly away in search of a new hive location. "That's when you have to catch them—if you can find the swarm. But here it is!"

I wasn't expecting quite so many bees!! I'm pretty scared of all flying creatures so allow me to pat myself on the back for what came next—I thought I was about to learn how to catch a swarm from a prudent distance, but M. asked if I could give her a hand, seeing as her husband was supposed to be here to help but clearly wasn't.

The first step of catching a swarm was spraying the bees with sugar water, and I was glad not to be asked to help with that, as it seemed like something that could make bees angry. ("On the contrary, it makes them less agitated!" I was told, but that remained to be seen.) Step 2 was pulling on a rope tied to the tree branch in order to lower the swarm into the new hive, and that was the job I was recruited for. The rope was long enough that I could stand several metres away to pull on it, but my role in this swarm-catching business was still all too clear to any angry bee looking for someone to blame.

I remembered reading that bees can sense the electric field of flowers, so I thought there was no way they wouldn't sense the staticky nervousness coming from the rope-puller, but thankfully they completely ignored me.

M. was offering one fun fact about bees after the other, in a very relaxed voice, which was very interesting and very soothing for both me and the bees. She said this particular colony was very sweet ("some bee colonies are meaner than others?" "yes of course"), and that swarming usually happens a bit earlier in the year "but it's been raining so much lately, the bees had to postpone all their activities, just like us" and also "swarming involves quite a bit of planning ahead of time; for example worker bees have to put the queen on a diet so she won't be too fat to fly. Did you know that?" I did not!

Unfortunately our first attempt to catch the swarm failed. The bees entered the hive, had a quick look around their new home, then left in disgust and formed a thick, angry, buzzing cloud over our heads, while I tried to think nothing but bee-loving thoughts to make my electric field harmless and friendly.

Then one after the other all the bees returned to the exact same spot on the branch where we'd first found them. ("Because it smells like the queen" said M.) We examined the near-empty hive and found that a mouse had made a nest in there! She was no longer here but the traces of her passage were evident (some of the comb was very nibbled.)

As we were removing the supplies brought in by the mouse (sticks, hay), M.'s husband joined us and he had brought a spray bottle containing some sort of bee-attracting liquid (pheromones?) (I didn't have a close look at the bottle because I made sure to stay far away from the bee-attracting liquid, while he sprayed it inside the hive.)

He had also brought a white sheet which he spread under the tree, explaining that the bees will want to get away from the bright surface and look for darkness, thus hopefully getting inside the box. Another thing I learnt is that once the queen enters the hive, the nearest worker bees will spread the message by turning round and fluttering their wings to send a chemical signal in specific directions, which will be picked up by other bees farther away; at strategic intervals some bees will light the beacons of Gondor turn round and fan their wings to relay this scent-message until the entire colony is informed of the queen's new location.

We were more successful the second time around! This time the bees who went in didn't immediately get out again to return to their branch. Well I say "we" but I didn't volunteer to pull on the rope again, so I can't claim any role in this victory. But my personal victory was that I stood quite a bit nearer this time so I could watch everything closely, and I felt more intrigued than nervous. Bees were constantly zipping past me but it had become clear that my electric field was pure and they bore me no ill will. I was always fond of bees from afar and happy to see them do their thing in flowers in the spring, but today's adventure got me interested in their daily life as well, so I think I'll read some books about bees this summer!

I was reading last month about the morality of termite colonies (Maeterlinck's La vie des termites) and I had a feeling this man must have written some poetic stuff about bees as well—and he did. Here's a translated excerpt from his book "La vie des abeilles" :)