#i know i need to work to be able to afford things but it is so much and my job is so draining in every way

[hockeyspiral23]

... in rereading bits of FW while editing ttios, the amount of unhinged theories I am now coming up with are RIDICULOUS.

(Onyx Storm spoilers - a virtual fucking novel - below the cut)(has been edited since first posted)

In no particular order ...

Barlowe knowing accurate things about the feathertails at Threshing - like that the breed abhors violence and won't fight - and going to kill it. Now, given that we know that Panchek was working on the inside, do we believe that he is where Jack got his info? That, given the apparent super sneaky venin living in the walls (... money is still good on daddy Aetos there too), they knew to try and kill the feathertail once it was known to exist because of the wards somehow? Venin long game of taking down Basgiath's wards so they can't restore them since no seventh breed?

Xaden always telling Violet she'll be the death of him. Well, she has been ... the death of his soul, at least. Also given all the god talk, there's completely going to be some literal bargain with Malek to save him (if he gets saved). I'm guessing that Malek might be the other god to which she could dedicate herself. Though, with Xaden saying "it's always you" to Violet since she's in the middle of shit all the time, that could be an unfortunate side effect of her partial dedication to Dunne.

Which, leading up to that last little point, with that ending, how the fuck is the next book going to be a romantasy with the main couple separated? Unless we're really going to get an Imrrick story (if, of course, Garrick isn't the new brother).

In the very first class of Dragonkind, Kaori says you'd be ash if you ever tried to get close to the Vale and Violet mentions some girl with a rebellion relic pulling down her sleeve. Interesting tidbit, but we ignore it, right? But then, in Onyx Storm, Brennan LITERALLY MENTIONS taking Xaden to sit by dragon eggs in what is presumably Aretia's response to the Vale. So what, do dragons let relic riders near them? Does Brennan get the same courtesy afforded to him due to the rune on his hand? (which, don't get me started on that mystery we still need a fucking answer for ...)

Another reason why I think Xaden saved Sgaeyl? Because if Sgaeyl dies, so does Tairn and then so does Violet. In IF, Tairn says that Sgaeyl would be emotionally inconvenienced if the shadow wielder died, but doesn’t directly answer Violet when she asks him if she’s just an emotional inconvenience to him. So killing Xaden? Might not kill Violet, but the other way around was pretty drummed into us, as was the interdependence of mated dragons’ lives.

Xaden's "there's nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldn't find you" line is COMPLETELY going to come into play now with the Onyx Storm ending. Mostly because, given the GMA interview RY did today, she said she fought with her editors to get the ending she wanted which to me, means ending on Violet's POV as opposed to Xaden's POV like the previous two books. What do we get in Violet's POV? A note from the man saying don't look for him. We also learn from RY at the release party she attended that that specific line is still her favorite (either line completely or just of Xaden's) from the series. Violet may not look for him, but you don't think that Xaden's going to still be able to find her?

She'll probably still be able to contact him though, and probably through her dreams (that dream-walking signet is a foresighted signet for her not because she needed to know what her NON-DREAMING DRAGON WAS DREAMING ABOUT JEEBUS, but because she'll need to contact Xaden still and dreams are going to be the way she does it. If, of course, venin sleep. Which ... do they?

Or due to the compass. We might be getting a PotC thing there with that ... which ... I don't know how I feel about that.

Harkening back two points ... if he's ever on a battlefield, I believe that he still won't harm Violet solely because of the ch.48 epigraph about an entire village being decimated by venin except for one house because the venin doing the decimating was the dude's wife. (which, speaking of Xaden's love declaration in this book, he's totally gonna become a Maven or something, isn't he?)

While I'm here ... I think Bodhi might be the new brother. Mostly because I think he turned to work on the venin from the inside, to use his signet-countering signet on the venin themselves. Also because in the Imogen chapter, she also watches blue fire from a wyvern "roll down Cuir's neck, extinguishing to smoke before they reach him." She makes it sound due to the angle, but what if it's because Bodhi was able to counter the fire at that point? Also, Cuir is pretty badly injured at this point, so it's plausible. And even though Bodhi might have the good reasoning for turning, it could also make sense why he's puking after, upset at his decision. And Garrick might just be missing since he had to walk during that missing 12 hours and didn't have the energy to walk back yet.

Liam's ice wielding ... like the fuck? Does this mean that Sloane is going to develop a second signet too? Or that she won't because there was only one other dragon rider descendant in her family and that dragon is dead because they bonded Liam, and she only said the stuff in IF because Thoirt was explaining secret shit to her?

The dragons are going to end up being a big bad somehow. You don't have the line from the Fables about demonizing dragons and then learning that they draw from the source themselves - plus all the talk from the venin and the Isles and even the damn Irids as well as tidbits in quite a few of the epigraphs - without realizing some shit is going to down with them. (Also, need I also continually say that this series is the Empyrean series - so many of our questions are going to be solved due to the fucking dragons).

But also, do the gryphons then also draw the same way the dragons do? But the magic balance is better there because they also die with their bonded flier?

There's a theory on the RQ Discord server that gemstones are going to come into play and I agree with that, if only also because of the seemingly random throwaway line about Poromish gemstones during the Parapet info dump. Plus during the triumvirate dinner, one of them brought a piece of jade - a gemstone - onto the table when it looked like negotiations were going well and put it back into her lap when things went to shit again. Not to mention the citrine necklace, the ruby one Cat was given on Zehyllna, the onyx and amethyst and other mentions of random gems throughout the series ...

I'm also going to guess particularly with emeralds, since the venin want a specific thing as well - ch.50 dream - "You will bring what I want ... or she dies. I'm through waiting, and I will not allow her to win such a prize." If you harken back to ch.6, Xaden extracts a promise from Violet - "Swear you'll sound the alarm if I go too far, that you'll keep it safe, even if it's from me." I don't believe it's Tyrrendor, since Tyrrendor is always referred to as a she. Her ring has an emerald that she thinks is from the Blade of Aretia and the emerald-hilted Sword of Tyrrendor keeps appearing in Xaden's dreams. Are the weapons a matched set? Plus the sword almost comes into play in negotiations with the Deverelli. There's SOMETHING with those two weapons somehow. Plus Xaden's keeping the Blade of Aretia in his gift from Zihnal ...

Speaking of RY and things she's said recently ... someone we love will die in book four. This ... is obvious. Given the Rhiannon and Imogen chapters - and the fact (I think) that she'd like to write their stories eventually - I think those two are safe. We've had Ridoc scares the last two books - the arrows in IF and the kitchen jump-scare in OS - so I hope it's not him, but RY also really adores Ridoc so ... she might. BUT ALSO, it could mean metaphorical death given the whole new mystery venin brother of Xaden's (less likely, but hey).

Going back to things from FW/IF that I'm surprised haven't come more into light ... General Daramor and the original army from the Barrens. I'm a little surprised Violet hasn't tried looking for non-censored texts about that from Tecarus's library.

Speaking of Tecarus ... do we think he's secretly working with the venin as well? Mighty suspicious that the most indefensible palace known to man and its city are like the one non-drained area in like the entirety of fucking Poromiel ...

Some of the things that seemed random are coming to light and I don't know if it's that she's retconning as some have pointed out or if her plotting of the whole series truly is *that* detailed and her editors have just done her no favors when it's come to pacing and worldbuilding. Or she's done herself no favors with it given when she wants the info dumps for all of us.

Not theory related, but worth commenting on since I'm here ranting ... the ship names? I jokingly poked fun at that in viayn so to see it in actual text? I just don't know. Also, I know everyone's getting Drake/Mira out of this, but there's also potential Mira/Syrena too since Mira white-knuckles her pack when Aetos informs Cat she's closer in line to the throne and they're all wondering if it's Syrena who's dead.

Regardless of it all ... the one thing I think we can ALL agree on in book four? Better have some Broccoli. And I'm convinced Ridoc also helped Drake come up with that name.

[stars-remain2]

Find the word

How it works: I search for the words previously assigned to me in my latest WIP and then choose four words for you to search for in your WIP.

Thank you @joeyalohadream for tagging me! This was the first time anyone has ever tagged me into one of these and I just feel so honored. Plus getting to read more snippets from “Let your heart be light” just made my lil heart SO happy. Your writing lights up my life, truly! 🎄💕

My words: heat, step, heavy, light all from my upcoming fic “Lucky” for MoTA’s 1st Birthday Bingo. @mota-collab

Heat (I don’t have heat but I do have hot. Close enough. 😉)

Gale’s first mission back after his catastrophic injury will be a repeat of the same mission that nearly killed him: Bremen.

Gale isn’t superstitious, but John’s lucky deuce certainly didn’t do the trick last time. With John in London, he wants to take something of John’s up with him and it’s not like he can take his picture. That might get the guys talking and he doesn’t want a blue ticket home. They’ve been able to keep things discreet the last few months and they have to keep it that way.

At breakfast the morning of the mission, Gale is very intentional about spilling milk all over his dark brown bomber jacket. He jumps up from the table and tells the boys he will meet back up with them after he gets changed.

He heads back to the hut he shares with John and some of the other officers. Luckily everyone is on leave or at breakfast so the hut is empty when he arrives. He goes straight for John’s foot locker, opening it with care, knowing he will find what he’s looking for.

There on top of the locker is John’s sheepskin jacket. He’d stopped wearing it as often because Gale “hates” it so much.

Though John is slightly broader than Gale, something Gale has always found rather comforting (okay, hot), it still fits. Gale looks at himself in the mirror and feels satisfied with his new look. This was the perfect solution to taking a piece of John up with him. And better yet, John would never know. He’d have it hidden back in his foot locker before he ever got back from London.

Step

He’s brought up to an open train car where a group of men are being herded and thrust inside. He can only hope that this train is taking all of them to a Stalag and not to an immediate death. After some difficulty with his ribs, he climbs into the car and tries to find a spot along a back wall, out of the way. He needs to be able to brace his ribs and the middle of the car will not afford him that luxury.

“Buck!”

He thinks he hears his name but that can’t be possible.

“Buck! Is that you?”

He turns his head, seeking out the voice. He can’t help but smile when he sees the familiar face of Benny DeMarco headed straight toward him.

“Major, it sure is good to see you,” Benny says as they clasp hands and hug.

Benny’s brows furrow then. “But are you ok? You look pretty roughed up. Your face…was it the landing or did they hurt you, Major?”

Gale doesn’t want to discuss this at all but certainly not with an audience. He ducks his head and brings his voice down, “Ah, we can talk later Benny, ok?”

Benny knows Gale well and takes the hint. Gale hates any kind of attention. But Benny isn’t going to let this go once they get to where they are going. He can tell from the way the Major is holding himself that he is injured. Plus Bucky would kill him if he let anything happen to Buck.

The train soon delivers them to their new home at Stalag Luft III.

As they walk through the gate, Gale’s steps falter and Benny has to steady him. Gale says, “I’m fine, I’m fine,” but he’s gone three shades more pale.

Benny takes one of Gale’s arms and puts it around his shoulders.

“Let me help. That’s what co-pilots are for.”

Gale can’t argue. His strength is flagging.

Heavy

The problems for “Our Baby” that started on the tarmac continue in the air with the ball turret before they reach Bremen. Gale continues to do what he does best, he rallies his crew, encourages them to hold fast and remain alert as they approach the target.

The flak is heavy around them.

They all want this so bad they can taste it.

Then it all goes to hell.

Once over the target, their plane is hit by three fighters at 10:00 high, out of the sun. The damage is significant and takes out the No. 2 engine. Gale and Benny refuse to panic, they simply shut it down and continue with the mission.

Smoke pours from their plane making them an easy target. The Luftwaffe keep coming. Control cables are the next to go, completely severed. The smell of electricity fills the air and smoke filters throughout the cabin and fuselage.

Gale remains unshaken. This is what he’s trained for. He’s been beaten up his whole life. As a child, he didn’t expect this kind of treatment from people who were supposed to love him and yet he ended up bloodied and bruised. He expects this kind of treatment from the Germans.

A section of the left wing is blown off and shells rip through the nose of the plane. The death knell is beginning to ring but he refuses to hear it. He can’t afford to stop and listen. He’s got to try to get his crew to a place where they will have a fighting chance.

He comes on the radio then, “We are gonna try to make it to the Dutch border, boys. That means we gotta dump all of our gear not bolted down in order to lighten our load. Shoot the bomb sight and dump it too.”

He quickly stops transmitting because it’s all he can do to hold on to this bird. It’s pulling both he and Benny for all they are worth. He doesn’t want his crew to hear the strain in his voice.

He closes his eyes for a brief second, picturing Bucky’s face. He can do this. He can hold on. For Bucky.

Then he feels the plane shudder with another hit.

And another.

Engine No. 1 shuts down.

The blankets under Benny’s seat catch fire.

Engine No. 3 shuts down.

Then No. 4.

“No Engine Cleven” won’t be making a miracle landing today.

He allows himself one moment of terror. Then he leans his face down and brushes the part of his cheek not covered by the mask against the collar of Bucky’s jacket. The fuzzy texture against his skin grounds him once again and it allows him to regain his composure. He flips the switch which will change the course of the war for all of them.

“Bail out. Pilot to crew, I repeat, bail out.”

He sends Benny ahead of him and suddenly he’s the last one remaining on board. The proverbial captain going down with his ship. It’s always been like this, Gale against the world. But for the first time in his life, he’s got someone to live for. He pulls Bucky’s jacket tighter around him and whispers, “I love you Johnny.”

Then he jumps.

Light

With no money for college and a terrible reputation in his hometown of Casper, Wyoming because of his father’s gambling debts, Gale decides that entering the military is his best, scratch that - only - option. He then ships off to boot camp, simply trading one war for another.

The moment John “Bucky” Egan lays eyes on Gale Cleven, two things happen at the exact same time. He knows he is dealing with a wounded animal and he knows that this man is his destiny. He can tell that Gale will be a tough nut to crack, but he is certain that beneath that facade is the most beautiful soul he’s ever seen.

Gale’s walls are built high but Bucky has a plan to start chipping away at them. He is used to getting what he wants. Bucky then does what any normal human being would do. He gives Gale his name. He starts with his nickname since it wasn’t exactly legal for him to give him his last name. Yet.

“You look just like a buddy of mine from back home in Manitowoc. His name is Buck.”

With a hand on his chin and a serious expression on his face, Bucky studies Gale. It gives him the perfect excuse to look for a few extra seconds. Nodding and looking proud of himself, Bucky breaks out into the biggest smile, which lights up his entire face.

Gale finds it impossible to resist, feeling himself beginning to smile too.

“Yep, I think I’ll call ya Buck, Buck.”

Bucky slings an arm around Gale’s shoulders as they begin walking toward their barracks. Gale looks at him like he is crazy but there is an air of lightheartedness finally beginning to settle into the formerly rigid planes of his face. He’s made Gale Cleven smile. Bucky’s heart feels like it is going to explode and he knows right then and there that he will do anything to make Gale smile again.

Bucky isn’t sure if he is having heart palpations or if he is just falling in love.

One small problem though. Buck from Manitowoc doesn’t exist. Buck Cleven doesn’t need to know that though. That’s right, it is one big ole lie.

While it is the first time Bucky lies to Gale’s face, it won’t be the last.

Bonus Light

John thinks to himself that he has never seen a human being more pale and still alive. He rides with Gale in the ambulance transport to the hospital on base, not allowing an argument as to whether he belongs there or not. He holds Gale’s hand, which is ice cold. Gale is shaking now, his body going into shock from the injury and blood loss. John quickly rips off his sheepskin jacket and drapes it over Gale. He knows Gale hates this jacket but he’ll do anything to help keep him warm.

A medic places an oxygen mask over Gale’s face but he’s still struggling to breathe. He coughs and it’s a terrible barking sound. Blood splatters all over the inside of the mask, creating a ghastly combination of colors, the red blood and Gale’s blue lips.

John can’t look away.

Gale’s eyes flutter open then, searching. Searching for John. They are frantic, darting back and forth. John can tell he wants to speak so badly but his grievous injury won’t allow him the breath to do so. John starts brushing back Gale’s hair again, “I’m here, I’m not leaving you. You aren’t alone. Please fight Buck.”

The medic is too busy tending to Buck to pay attention to what’s being said between the two men and Bucky knows he’s got to give Gale something to fight for. Someone to fight for. He knows he can’t say it out loud so he moves in closer to Gale’s face. He then moves his mouth slowly without saying the words out loud and prays he’s not too late for Gale to see.

“I. Love. You.”

He can see the moment the light leaves Gale’s eyes. His chest stops heaving. He’s not breathing anymore.

John feels like he’s not breathing either.

John starts screaming, “He’s not breathing! You’ve got to help him! My God, SOMEONE HELP HIM!”

They’ve reached the hospital. The medical staff tear John away then, ripping Gale and John’s hands apart as they rush Gale into a treatment bay. His last glimpse of Gale is of someone jumping on top of his chest, doing chest compressions, John’s sheepskin jacket tossed in a heap on the floor.

John is left standing there, drenched in Gale’s blood, shivering without his jacket and wondering if he’s about to lose the love of his life. The love of his life who died not knowing he’s the love of his life. He’d been too late. 

He falls to his knees and allows the tears to finally come.


**Authors Note - I don’t do Major Character Deaths in my fics so have no fear. You can read this fic on Sunday on AO3. I will also be posting here on Tumblr. ❤️**

No pressure tagging @hogans-heroes @trekkiehood @onyxsboxes @blixabargelds

Your words are: touch, eyes, fight, walk

[robotpussy]

didn't think 2024 could be worse than 2023, last year I got evicted for basically no reason and my neighbour spat on me after she falsely accused me of assault. this year my mum died and my health got worse because of my job and spent the entire time I was unemployed going to the hospital everyday for my mother. I hope I die next year because it just seems to be going downhill from here

[fadeintolight]

pont pont vesszőcske

[horrorknife]

i kind of really hate myself you guys. like i kind of think there’s no hope for me

[rosesradio]

man i sure hope things get better soon…

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Getting off my ass and downloading my favorite fics to put on a jump drive I bought with a fuck tonne more storage than the two I already had from when I was in school and, wow, this is actually so much easier than the rest of the stuff I’ve been downloading for various reasons (articles on stuff I want to have around but worry might be impacted by this new presidency). You just pick pdf (or whatever you like) and bam! It’s right there in your downloads ready to be stashed away, no annoying nitpicking where I have to delete stuff I don’t need in the document or huge blank spaces, it’s just ready! Like, listen. I love “print friendly and pdf” Firefox extension, but I always have to end up deleting some stuff that is just taking up space. It does its job! It’s just not going to be neat and tidy when the website doesn’t intend for you to do this. Archive of our own does that whole thing of making a pdf themselves! This is going to go so much faster than the other stuff I’ve been downloading as pdfs

Anyway, I love you as well Smithsonian magazine website for not only being free, but also just having that extension on all your articles! That’s actually how I found it in the first place. Before that I was copy pasting every paragraph into a pages document and it was way more tedious.

[dan-whoell]

Is your birthday coming up in the next few months?? It would be a shame if somebody gave you money towards dnp tickets as a bday present 👀

ahhh this is so sweet! actually yes my birthday is in august we might circle back to this anon

[itsalwaysdark]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[fatcowboys]

frustrating how fucking. disabling. being disabled is rn. im tired

[katyspersonal]

It is only first month of 2024, and I've already lost not one but two subjects of nightmares, paranoia and reoccurring emotional torture. I really wish there was another way to get rid of these besides having extremely painful conversations.. but at least these scars are closing, one by one

[autumnalhalcyon]

.

[schizononagesimus]

so clearly i arrived fine and the start to my "trip" is going great! now it's 2am and im feeling the gravity of my situation 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

[aewrie]

'once a week or more' well rip

my default state of being when i'm not having a bad day is a little tired & nursing a budding headache. i have a headache right now that i'm ignoring

is this going to be another of those 'there is no such thing as a 'mild' concussion, if you hit your head bad enough to black out it is a concussion' lmao???

i get headaches from fucking everything. weather/air pressure (low and high). low/high blood sugar or too rapid changes there. too bright/dim light (at home i am specific about my lights/curtains at different points of the day/depending on how bright it's outside to avoid these). rapid repetitive/jarring physical motions (just jumping a little can be enough/make it worse). muscle tension. doing stretching/exercise that gets blood really flowing. lack of and/or bad sleep, or too much sleep. getting (strongly) emotional. caffeine (a new exiting one! only started regularly drinking coffee fairly recently. how much caffeine is too much is a fucking mystery though). i should wear glasses (myopia, not too severe) but i avoid it unless i need to see that far that well in part bc the glasses pressing on my temples give me headaches more easily than my eyes being slightly tired does.

i'm probably forgetting a bunch more

but every time i've seen people describe migraines i've thought well mine aren't anywhere near that severe/those specific kinds of headaches so No Way it's that

but. i do have other symptoms on that list? i just never thought it might be related to my headaches bc i'd not seen those mentioned, at least not in a way that i could identify as something i should consider in connection to this, and there's always the huge stress that migraines are always extra super bad to the point that a Real migraine completely disables you for a while. while to me it's. it's annoying, it hurts, if it's particularly bad it can make things more difficult but not impossible/near impossible; just, a general It's Not That Bad, therefore normal and i should just deal with it

[thedreadvampy]

idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just

like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings

but like

I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.

like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.

[seedlessmuffins]

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