#ks chats | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lukey-pookie-hughes43 · 11 months ago

Text

Babe wake up, a new installation of the Kildare split FICS came out!!

Kildare Split Part Three: Bleach

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Chapter 3: Bleach

Note: Hi! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. Here is Chapter Three, it covers the smau basically up until Rafe blocks Topper. Still no answers on that 💋

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio.

Word Count: 5,343

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter Three: Bleach

That didn’t go how he planned it. He hurt her inconceivable amounts and it’s not going to be easy to get her to forgive him. He needs to work for it, he knows that. Hearing her say that she meant nothing to him when she meant the world to him hurts more than he could have ever imagined. He’s so mad at himself for ever saying those same things to her. He doesn’t deserve her. He knows that too. He’s always been selfish when it comes to her though, he needs her back. He needs to figure out how to talk to her first.

“Let me get this straight, you told her to listen to your album for what?”

“To understand what I’m feeling.”

“Rafe, the girl doesn’t need to understand what you’re feeling, she needs you to apologize to her.” His dad’s voice comes through the speaker. He was getting ready for bed when Ward called.

“The album is like an apology.” He tells his dad like it’s obvious.

“Unless you have a song in that thing that says ‘Y/N I’m sorry,’ for 3 minutes straight, she’s not going to hear it as an apology. She’s going to take it as an excuse.”

“I’m just so ashamed, I don’t know how to approach it.” he stares at the phone screen, a picture of his dad and Wheezie stares back at him.

“I miss you, dad.”

“I miss you too, son. You’ll be home soon and we’ll go golfing, how about that?” Rafe smiles softly.

His relationship with his dad hasn't always been this good. When he chose music over a ‘real’ career, his dad almost disowned him. Y/N had been the one to talk Ward out of it. Giving him a plan that if they didn’t make it in two years, she would drag him back by his ear and make him take over the company. They had to work their asses off but it happened, and Ward had accepted it. It had been a long road, they spent a lot of time not speaking to each other, communicating through Sarah. Ward hadn’t been to a single show before their first album was released. He remembers seeing Ward walk in next to Sarah and feeling his five-year-old self again, prepared to put on the best show for his dad to finally be proud of him. And he was, at the end of the night he hugged Rafe and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear from him. That he was proud of everything he had accomplished, that he was meant to perform, and that he loved him.

And he owed it all to her. It always goes back to her.

“That sounds great, Dad.”

“Have you talked to Sofia about this, you know girls, she might have some insight you don’t.”

“I don’t think Sofia’s up to giving me advice about Y/N.

“Rafe, this is only to get her back as your friend, correct? You and Sof are good?” Ward asks, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, of course. Sof and I are great.” Denial. Always in denial, Rafe Cameron.

“Okay well, I wish you luck with all of that. Get some rest. I’ll be out in a couple of weeks.”

“Bye Dad, love you,” Ward tells him he loves him too and hangs up.

+++

Kiara of all people tells her to listen to his album. As if everyone else who’s telling her isn’t enough.

“Hold on, I thought I got you in the divorce?” Kie laughs at her joke.

“You did, but I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

“Kie, he hasn’t even apologized in person, why should I?” She’s playing with the thread that’s hanging off of the comforter.

“Because he’s always been better at explaining himself in song.” She says matter of factly.

“This is unbelievable.” Kie groans on the other side of the phone.

“Look, he’s a piece of shit and he was horrible to you. I know that, but god can he write.”

“I know he can. I work with him.”

“Y/N.”

“Kie.” She mocks

“Just listen.” She’s shaking her head and rolling her eyes, glad that Kie can’t see her.

“Okay, whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. What happened between you and jayj?”

“Ha! Nope.” She whines, wanting to know the drama between her two friends.

Sarah walks in with Penny in her arms. They had gone for a walk, Y/N citing vocal rest to skip going out in the rain.

“Vocal rest but you’re talking on the phone?” Sarah calls her out.

“My baby!” Sarah drops the small dog on the hotel bed, Penny running into Y/N’s arms.

“Thanks, Sarah.” She pouts at her.

“So what are we talking about?”

“Trying to get Y/N to listen to ‘Angel.’” Kie’s voice cuts through the speaker.

“Absolutely no use. She won’t.” Sarah says. She nods along agreeing with Sarah.

It’s not that she can’t listen to the album. She doesn’t want to. Why should she care about whatever he said in the album when he can’t tell her directly? The last time they talked he didn’t say sorry, albeit she didn’t let him say sorry with her whole speech she had been internalizing for three years. Even still, if he had just opened with ‘sorry’ she might have been more inclined to listen to his stupid album. She already knew it was about her, what more could she possibly learn?

So why can’t she get the thought of listening to it out of her head? She’s alone now, her dog next to her, sleeping tucked between her pillow and her neck. Sarah went back to her room a few hours ago and Y/N’s been trying to go to sleep to no avail.

So she plays the stupid album that she told Rafe to shove up his ass.

By the end of the album, she’s angry again. It’s great. Of course, it is. It’s him and he’s amazingly talented. Everything he touches turns to gold and she despises him for it. The chord progressions the tempos, the synths. Everything is amazing. Even the stupid lyrics that she wishes she could hate. How dare he be so talented and make her hate him just a fraction less?

The lyrics bother her. ‘I bought a house to live in but you’re the home I’m missin'?’ His fault. ‘I watched the weeks fly by, I’m not myself when you’re not there.’ His fault. Again. ‘I’m not a sentimental guy, I need you in my life.’ Well Rafe Cameron, why do you think she’s not in your life? It’s like he’s trying to hide the fact that he completely obliterated her heart and is pretending that she just walked out on him.

Fuck you, Rafe. You don’t get to pretend.

+++

She hears Topper in the lobby of the hotel. He’s most likely the first one down here, waiting for the rest of them to wake up so they can take the car to the arena.

She stands off to the side, their manager Ash, handing out their backstage badges. She sees Topper take two from Ash out of the corner of her eye.

He extends the badge out to her for her to take and offers her a smile.

“Thanks.” She tells him.

“I know this is probably a long time coming and not the best place to have this conversation but I’m sorry.” She looks at him eyes wide, she tries to hide her shock, a small frown still visible on her face.

“Thanks.” She says again, not knowing how to respond to him.

“I know I’ve been a shitty friend. I didn’t know how to act when everything went down. I knew about Sofia and I felt like I betrayed you. You were so hurt and I didn’t deserve your friendship. I let you isolate yourself and I’m sorry. I should have done better.”

She feels her eyes welling up. She won’t let herself cry. Not where anyone could see them.

“Yeah, you have been shitty.”

“Is it too late for you to forgive me?” She shakes her head, launching herself into his arms. Strangely it feels like coming home. She is finally hugging her best friend again. The guy who used to want to fight anyone who even looked at her wrong.

“I missed you.” she breathes into his shoulder.

“I missed you too, I’m sorry.” She lets go of him sniffling. She sees unshed tears in his eyes too.

“It’s going to take some time for me to trust you, but I’ll work on it.”

“I will get on my knees, beg, and cry if you need me to.” She laughs

“I’ll let you know.”

As soon as the other two arrive, their badges are given to them and they all walk towards the car. She usually opts for sitting in the front ever since everything happened between them. She thinks that this time she can sit next to Topper.

“Hey, Ash?” She calls for her manager's attention, “Mind if you sit in the front this time?” Ash looks at her surprised but nods her head anyway.

“Of course, go.” She motions for Y/N to step into the car, Rafe and Barry look at her questioningly from the very back. She smiles at Topper and sits directly next to him, he offers her one of his airpods and she takes it. He’s listening to something she’s never heard and she doesn’t mind at all. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t feel like the loneliest person in the car.

Rafe burns holes into the backs of both their heads. What the fuck is going on?

+++

“So are you going down there for your anniversary?” He hears Sarah ask. She and Y/N are getting their lunch.

“Ya, it works out perfectly with the tour ending just in time,” Y/N responds,

“So are you expecting a ring?” His ears perk up at the question, willing everyone around him to shut up so he can hear her answer clearly.

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Y/N has a teasing tone to her voice and he feels like throwing up. He gets up from the table where he’s eating with Barry and Topper. His fork clanged against the plate as he stood up and stormed off. He can’t eat with the bile already rising in his throat. What’s wrong with him?

+++

He notices as Topper and Y/N fool around during their private soundcheck. They’re playing off each other, Y/N messing with his guitar as he sings into her microphone. He notices that it’s a little awkward but it’s better than it has been in years. He gives Barry another questioning look and Barry just shrugs. He makes a note to ask Topper what happened.

“I can’t hear myself in my left ear, I just hear Barry’s excessive screeching,” Y/N speaks into her microphone at one of the sound techs.

“Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all be professionally trained singers, princess.” Y/N scoffs.

“You’re in a band Barry, maybe learn how to sing.”

“Why are you being such a bitch right now?”

“Hey!” Topper yells turning towards Barry, “cut that shit out.” Barry makes a face at Topper but drops it.

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” Rafe asks, done with waiting to ask Topper after soundcheck.

“Just have her back, man.”

“Since when?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Since he apologized, maybe you should learn how to do that.” She purses her lips and instead of being annoyed, he can’t stop thinking about how cute she looks.

“I tried to apologize and all you did was yell at me for 10 minutes.”

“You didn’t try to apologize, Rafe! You tried to get me to listen to your album.”

“If you would have just heard me out.”

“What? I would know that you’re so apathetic it’s pathetic but you need me now? Or how about that you’re down on your hands and knees Beggin' me please, baby.”

“You listened.” He feels a sense of relief overtake him which is quickly washed away by her tone.

“Under duress.”

“What did you think?”

“I think it’s bold to sing songs about me when your girlfriend is ready to marry you.” He wants to deny that any of the songs are about her. It doesn’t work like that. Everyone knows. Instead of denying it or calling her conceited for thinking it’s about her, another question rises up and out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“Are you?”

“What?” She asks, confused. He wants to keep his mouth shut. Why does he need to know anything, why does he want to hurt his feelings so badly?

“Ready to marry him?” Oh, he’s so stupid.

“Yeah.” There is no hesitation in her answer and his heart breaks a little.

“Great.” He says shortly.

“Great.” She turns away from him and back to her microphone, talking to the tech until he gets the volume in her left ear right. He storms off the stage shoving his guitar into Topper’s chest, narrowly missing Topper’s guitar.

+++

“What’s your problem?” They’re waiting to be called to the stage for their second soundcheck with the fans.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You have been insufferable all day, more than usual. I can usually ignore you, I’ve been doing it for a really long time but you’re all pouting and grumbling. What’s wrong with you?”

“How could you forgive Topper and not me?”

“I haven’t forgiven Topper, but he apologized for everything, it’s more than you have ever done.”

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out.

“Rafe. Stop.” She goes to walk away but he grabs her arm, stopping her.

“What? You beg me to apologize and now you don’t want to hear it?”

“I didn’t want to beg you for it, I wanted you to apologize because it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know that I haven’t been a good friend to you. I’ve been so absent from our friendship. I let people get in the way of us and I self-sabotaged and pushed you away.”

“Rafe please.”

“I think that I pushed you away because I couldn’t be with you but I couldn’t be your friend.”

She holds her breath, waiting for what he says next.

“I couldn’t be just your friend because I was in love with you.”

“And I’m stupid okay? I’m the biggest idiot in the entire world for saying the things that I said to you.” He pauses to gauge her reaction. She’s looking directly at him, her gaze not faltering.

“You were never just someone I fucked. You weren’t some girl or someone who didn’t mean anything to me. You are the girl, you mean everything to me. You always have. And I am sorry. I am so sorry that I ever said those things.”

“Why did you?”

“I was terrified. It’s an excuse I know. The way I treated you should have never happened but- I just- I was so scared to ruin our careers and take away what we had been working for since we were practically babies. The work that you put into the band and I was just being so careless with it, I could have ruined everything. I didn’t know how to deal with that and being in love with you and high all the time. I couldn’t do it.”

“You got clean right after.”

“I knew that sabotaging us was the first step to me ruining everything else and I needed to make the sacrifice worth it so I got clean.”

“I’m a sacrifice. You sacrificed our friendship to keep the band but if you had just talked to me we could have decided together. We could have made something work.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” They hear the five-minute to curtain call announcement and Y/N sighs.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?” He asks her, hopeful.

“I don’t know. You hurt me more than anyone ever has.” She shrugs.

“fuck, b- Y/N I’m so sorry. You have to believe me.” She nods.

“I think I do. I need time. I need to get used to the idea of letting you back into my life before I do.”

“Okay, yeah. What can I do?” He feels hopeful for the first time since he started trying to get her to talk to him.

“Just give me space for now. I’ll let you know.” She walks past him towards Topper. That’s a good start, he thinks.

+++

“Baby!” She yells as she gets off stage, running into Julio’s arms. His flight had been delayed so she didn’t get to see him before the show.

His arms wrap around her waist as he lifts her off the ground, spinning her around.

“When did you get here?” She asks him, kissing his lips before he answers.

“Just as you started the second song.” He pulls away to answer but buries his head in her neck, kissing her.

“Thank you for coming. I missed you so much.” She tells him, still not letting go.

“Always.” He pecks her lips again as the rest of the band comes up behind her.

“Hey, guys.” Julio greets them the best he can with a Y/N-sized necklace still hanging off him.

“Hey, man!” Topper taps him on the shoulder as he passes by him. Barry mumbles a ‘hey’ and Rafe just nods, his jaw tight.

+++

Julio had only been here for one night and already he knew everything that Rafe had told Y/N, Which is how he found himself sitting alone with the man in the green room.

“Y/N told me what you told her last night.” He really doesn’t want to have to explain to Y/N why her boyfriend is on the floor bleeding but if he throws the first punch, Rafe is only defending himself.

“Yeah?” He looks up from his phone and at Julio.

“Look, you hurt her. A lot. To the point where she thought she had no one because of you. She cried herself to sleep every day because of how alone she felt.” Rafe’s stomach churns at his words.

“I’m going to make it up to her.” He puts his phone down next to him.

“And you better mean it. Don’t lead her on. Be honest with her. Do not hurt her again.”

“I won’t.” He assures him.

“Good.” He thinks the conversation is over but Julio speaks up again.

“Rafe, I know how you feel about her. You need to back off. I love her. And she loves me. I will be here until she no longer wants me. Please don’t get in the way of that.”

“I’m engaged.”

“That doesn’t change the way you look at her. Your heart isn’t in it. Respect my relationship and I will respect you.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I just want my friend back.” It’s not like she would take him back anyway. Even if he wanted to.

“Okay.” Cleo and Pope walk in to save him from the awkward silence.

“I’m going to head out.” He picks up his phone and stands up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Nice talking to you,” Julio calls.

“Yeah, you too.” He all but runs out of the room on a mission to find Sarah.

+++

Sarah Cameron is not one to spread rumours. She’s very much the type to wait for confirmation. She blames the circumstances and constant stress she’s under juggling her brother’s stupid feelings with Y/N’s and vice versa.

There has been way too much talk about marriage, Sofia finally arrived and all she can talk about is wedding dresses and the caterer and the first dance and Sarah is exhausted. And of course, Rafe is panicking about things he really shouldn’t be worried about like ‘Oh is Y/N getting married? Sarah, she said that she was ready.’ and Y/N herself teased that she wanted the ring and she wouldn’t say no if Julio proposed. So what is Sarah supposed to think when she hears Y/N squeal from her dressing room as she screams “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.” Sarah is tired.

She should have known there wasn’t an actual proposal when it happened in the dressing room of all places. She knows Julio, he’s a romantic guy, thinking back on it, there’s no way he would have proposed like that. Again, Sarah’s tired and she’s not thinking and she needs to tell someone and the first person she sees. Barry. Bad idea.

“Julio just proposed to Y/N and she said yes.” The information spills out of her mouth, it takes Barry a moment to process what she said but once he gets it he’s laughing.

“Shit. That’s going to kill him.” Fuck. Rafe. She hadn’t even thought of her brother’s reaction. She wants to be the one to tell him but he’s out with his trainer. She has to make sure no one tells him before she does.

“Topper!” She runs down the hall towards him.

“What’s up, why are you like sweating?” She waves him off.

“When does Rafe get back?”

“An hour still.”

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Y/N just got engaged and I need to be the one to break the news to him.”

“Holy shit. Good for her. Where is she?” Sarah shakes her head at him.

“That’s not the point, I need you to find out where Rafe is training so I can find him.”

“He’s probably running laps outside or at a nearby park.”

“Do you have his location?”

“No, security list.”

“Oh my god! I hate that you’re all famous sometimes.” She says through gritted teeth.

“I need to find John B. Make sure Rafe doesn’t find out!” She says running off down the hall again.

“Find out what?” Sofia’s voice comes from behind him.

“Jesus, Sofia, be louder next time.”

“Sorry. What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing. Y/N just got engaged and Sarah doesn’t want anyone to know yet.’

“Fun! Congratulations to them, that’s so exciting!” He sees her pull out her phone and walk in the direction of the busses.

“See you, Top!”

“On the bus?” He asks her.

“Yeah.” She gives him a toothy grin.

Shit. Topper thinks. She’s going to tell Rafe.

+++

Kyle had just made him run way too much. Keeping up his stamina was important to perform every night. This time though Kyle really wanted to kill him.

“You hate me, man.” He says opening up his phone. Kyle laughs.

“You did great.” He tells him as they start their walk back to the arena.

He has a few notifications from Instagram from friends back home sending him reels and Wheezie tagging him in stories. He swipes out of Instagram and goes on to his Twitter quickly checking to see if the lineup for the show had started already, trying to see which way they took back to the arena without being seen.

Something catches his eye as he scrolls past it, he scrolls back up trying to find the pink icon.

‘@KSUpdates: 💍💍💍’ He reads through the other tweets wondering what that’s all about, were they promoting something he forgot about? He keeps scrolling until he sees someone say that Y/N’s engaged. He stops where he is, Kyle looking at him questioningly.

“You okay?” His head is spinning, his heart is racing faster than when he was working out, and he feels like throwing up. No, he’s not okay.

“I need to go.” He starts booking it to the arena, Kyle trailing behind him.

He has three unanswered texts from Sarah, a call from Topper, and one from Kelce by the time he makes it back to the arena. He says bye to Kyle and rushes to the bathroom. He’s going to throw up, he feels lightheaded.

He didn’t realize how not okay he was with losing her forever right until this moment. He couldn’t face it for the longest time. He loves Sofia. He does. She has been important to him, his growth, and his life, she’s been an amazing partner. But that’s all she’s been. A friend. Because he couldn’t give her his heart. Not when Y/N was out there already walking around with it. She had never given it back. She owned it, owned him. He knew that now. With every fibre in his being, he knew that he was still in love with her. And she was marrying someone else. He was losing her.

His breathing feels laboured. He feels the room continue spinning, he slides down the bathroom wall trying to keep the panic attack at bay. How could he be so stupid? How could it take him so long to realize that he couldn’t live without her no matter how hard he tried? It would always be her.

He hears his phone ringing again but ignores it. He needs to get his breathing under control before he can talk to anyone. They can’t know he’s losing it.

He needs to do something. He needs to get his shit under control and talk to Y/N. He hasn’t had a panic attack in so long. He’s not used to dealing with it. He needs to find Barry first.

+++

She’s in one of her moods again, every time Julio leaves she gets sad and it takes her a day or two to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a week since she had asked Rafe for space. She thinks that she’ll be able to work towards forgiving him or at least putting the past behind her. After talking to Cleo, Sarah, and Julio, they had all given her the same advice. Do what she believes is the best next step for her.

She notices Sarah hovering over Rafe like a mother hen, checking in on him, asking him if he’s okay every two seconds. She doesn’t know what happened but Topper had told her he went missing for the entire day until their show. And she’s pretty sure he showed up high. She’s scared for him. He’s been clean for so long that getting into drugs again now could shock his system. He’s not her responsibility anymore but she cares if he lives or dies.

That same day that Rafe went missing, everyone was congratulating her for being engaged. The updates account had hinted at her being engaged too, she doesn’t know where they got that information, she not only had to tweet, she had to tell the entire team that no, she was not engaged.

It had been a stupid misunderstanding that Sarah had apologized for a significant amount. Cleo had asked Julio how he would propose so Julio had set the scene for her and gotten down on one knee and Y/N had played along. Stupid and dumb.

She’s reading a contract for a new magazine shoot she’s doing when Rafe comes up to her.

“Hey.” He seems anxious. He can’t seem to stand still and his hair’s a mess.

“Hi, you good?” She asks him.

“No.” She gives him her full attention now. Wondering what he’s about to say to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m selfish.” She doesn’t like the tone he says it in. Like he knows he’s about to tell her something he shouldn’t.

“Whatever you’re about to say don’t.” She goes back to her contract, staring at it blankly.

“When I thought you were engaged-”

“Rafe. Enough.”

“I had never felt so heartbroken in my life.” She’s shaking her head at him, trying to get him to stop.

“And I thought, I have to stop this now. I have to do whatever I can to stop it before it goes too far and I have to ruin your wedding. Because I would. Because I’m selfish.” She doesn’t know what to say to that so she says the first thing that comes to mind.

“It’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” There’s desperation in his voice, his eyes glassy.

“You’re engaged!” She yells, getting up and in his face.

“No, I love you.”

“I love Julio.”

“I love you.”

“Stop!” She turns her back to him and tries to find her breath.

“None of that changes how I feel. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to figure myself out.” She feels him behind her, looming over her shoulder.

“Why are you telling me any of this?”

“I can’t lose you. And that’s what’s happening because I’m an idiot. But I can’t lose you and I’m going to fight for you.” She turns around to face him, taking a step back, creating distance between them.

“There’s no fighting for me. We’re done. We’ve been over for so long. For three years I only spoke to you on stage or in interviews! There’s no us.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Rafe.” Her voice is firm but he doesn’t care.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone and you won’t ever have to see me again.”

“Not possible. The band.” She doesn’t know why she needs to make sure the band is safe in this moment, so much has happened between them to keep it alive, it can’t be at risk now.

“Outside of that then. Tell me.” She stays quiet, shaking her head once more.

“Please.” She snaps.

“I was in love with you for years! Since I was 13 years old you have lit up my goddamn world and when you finally gave me that chance, when you started looking at me like we could be something you ripped it all away. You hurt me so much and now? Now is when you want to come back and tell me everything I’ve been hoping for for years. Now when you’re getting married and I’m in a happy relationship?” She finishes, her chest heaving anger leaving her body in droves.

“You’re not in a happy relationship.”

“Rafe.” Her tone is warning him to not continue.

“Come on! He doesn’t understand you the way I do! Doesn’t understand the life we live, and the sacrifices we have made to be where we are. He’s not good enough for you.”

“And you are?”

“No.” She throws her hands up, “but, I understand you. I know who you are at your core, baby.”

“Stop.” She’s sure she’s shooting daggers at him now.

“Why?”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“No, why are you with him?” He’s close to her again, she can feel his breath hitting her face.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because I love him!” Rafe’s face falls. She exhales. “I love him.”

“No, you don’t.” She stays quiet.

“You can’t.” He backs up a little, his head shaking, eyes sad.

“Rafe,” she says softly, stepping closer to him. She reaches out but pulls her arm away quickly.

“It’s too late.” She repeats her words from earlier.

“But I love you.” She doesn’t want to hurt him but she knows she has to put an end to this.

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m so stupid. Oh my god, how did I ever let you go? I’m an idiot th-“ she cuts him off putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey hey, stop. It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

“How?” Tears are threatening to spill over now. His eyes are red. She doesn’t know if it’s from holding back tears or from smoking.

“By being friends.” His blue eyes pierce into hers.

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.” There are a lot of things left unsaid between them. She hugs him for the first time in years and he puts his face in the crook of her neck. She feels him crying. His tears soaking her neck.

“I love you.” She does too. Not in the way that he wants. Not anymore.

“I know.”

#vee's ks chats

305 notes · View notes

thewinter-eden · 15 days ago

Text

Damn Puppy Dog Eyes

images are mine (except middle KS pic that I got from pinterest). please do not use without permission. ATE pcs are my inspo for this series.

PLEASE READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in honor of so many of you being so sweet and sending me birthday wishes yesterday, I was extra motivated to get this one finished and posted as soon as possible. You all made me feel so loved and appreciated and I'll never be able to thank you enough. So to ATTEMPT to thank you, I got this goofball finished.

ALSO - y'all go read the story that @ramadiiiisme wrote for me as a birthday present <3 if you love Ateez' Yeosang (as you SHOULD), you'll enjoy the bit of fluff that my bestie outdid herself with. (p.s. hey bestie I put Wooyoung in this story just for you hope you love it sorry he's a lil twerp but he kinda is ok bye) find my birthday story HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

part 7 of the skz crack!horror series.

pairing: Kim Seungmin x fem!reader rating: mature, dark themes summary: werewolf!Seungmin saves your life from a pack, inadvertently earning your unwavering loyalty, even though he’s just as much a killer as they were. Sometimes he can’t decide if he wants to wrap you up in bubble wrap to save you from your own idiotic self or dump your annoying ass back where he found you. (warnings below the cut)

word count: 6k

warnings: Fear, attempted murder, werewolves hunting humans, reader makes dumb decisions, Seungmin’s gonna pull his own hair out, Ateez, group dynamic manipulation (Jeongin is SKZ alpha, Yunho is ATZ alpha), language, undertones of violence (canine-type pecking order fights), reader is referred to as ‘the bitch’ occasionally (canine term more so than derogatory term), undertones of domestic abuse (non-physically-violent, reader is unhappy), Yunho SLANDER (I’m sorry Yunho I love you), reader is touch starved, cuddles

Comment a request to be tagged.

series info

He's noticed you here and there around campus.

You're always with Yunho, or one of his pack. The entire student body knows who you are, knows you belong to one of the strongest packs on campus, knows that you're engaged to the alpha. To Yunho, one of the most prolific killers of your generation.

No one bothers you.

The first time Seungmin recognizes you by yourself, you're on the outskirts of campus, practicing some kind of flowy, yoga-like, graceful movements in the back of the baseball field. He watches you for only a few seconds before his eyes are scanning your surroundings, checking the bleachers for Yunho or the other members of his pack who are always hovering around you with possessive consistency. There's no one. You are alone.

Your focus surprises him. The way you control your motions, the finest muscles in perfect form, your expression intensely concentrated, is different from the behavior he's seen from you so far. You're always smiling, always latched onto Yunho, always fluttering around him and his pack to provide companionship and servitude whenever called upon. Now, though, you are planted firmly in your own autonomy, exercising some kind of active meditation that speaks volumes of your true self.

Seungmin turns away from you and doesn't look back. To be caught gazing at Yunho's fiancé with anything other than perhaps disinterested reverence means trouble.

The next time he sees you, you're in a restaurant alone, watching the clock tick away the minutes as Yunho stands you up. You're quiet again, your face peacefully still in your fiancé's absence, your hands folded neatly in your lap and not an ounce of surprise in your body that you're being forgotten once again.

After over an hour of waiting, a member of Yunho's pack arrives and hovers over your table. When you meet the eyes of the man who's come to pick you up, you've got a manufactured embarrassed smile on your face and you get up, already laughing and chatting about something that you had no thoughts of only moments before.

The man herds you outside into his car, pays the bill for the glass of wine that you've barely sipped, and chauffeurs you off into the night.

A few weeks go by before he sees you again, and this time you’re in the grocery store with two of Yunho’s pack, and you’re not smiling anymore. Your hands tremble as you reach for packages of meat and cartons of eggs, your eyes downcast and darting to clock the positions of your companions at every turn.

Each time he catches a glimpse of you between aisles and around fruit displays, he notices the dynamics have shifted from what they usually are. Because they’re not your companions, this time; this time they’re your keepers; your captors.

Seungmin notices a familiar face pop up obliviously from behind a shelf of fresh bread, turning over a package of sourdough in his hands to check the baker’s date. The young man, one of Seungmin’s own friends, bounces the loaf of bread in his palm once and then tosses it into his basket before moving on to the display of cheeses.

You noticed the guy at the same time that Seungmin did, but you whip your head away and make a beeline for an aisle at the complete opposite side of the store to avoid him.

Both of your companions have already caught sight of the man you’re trying to stay away from, and they’re hurrying after you with hostile glares pointed back at him.

The entire exchange is odd, especially since Seungmin knows for sure that his friend Felix wouldn’t be stupid enough to make a move on Yunho’s woman.

Despite your obvious attempts at avoidance, you run into Felix at the checkout line, which Seungmin witnesses from a spot further back in line, his own groceries piled high in his own basket. He hears Felix chirp a cheerful hello to you, and then a more cautious one to both of your escorts.

You murmur a quiet response back, and your men say nothing.

“I just wanted to thank you again for carrying me on that partner project last week.” Felix is saying, completely ignoring the darkening auras of the wolves beside you. “I was getting worried about my grade there for a minute.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” You respond kindly. “Your part definitely tied the project together.” You’re dumping your items on the conveyor belt as quickly as you can, desperately trying to get checked out and away from Felix as fast as possible.

The line moves and Seungmin finds himself ever so slightly closer to you.

Felix laughs softly and reaches to lay a casual and friendly pat to your arm, a move that Seungmin has seen him replicate hundreds of times with dozens of friends and acquaintances—a move that means nothing—but the shorter of your two companions bullies his way between you and Felix with a snarl.

“Woo!” You snap, snatching him by his sleeve. You can’t move him, you can’t actually call him off, but the frantic tone in your voice and the desperate plea in your eyes convinces Felix to back off without a fight.

“Don’t worry about it,” Felix shakes his head at you, ignoring Wooyoung entirely. “It’s not your fault they don’t have the social experience to recognize a harmless interaction. But I hear that’s a common problem for lapdogs.”

Seungmin can feel the tension thicken between the four of you and his own hackles rise instinctively, his hand gripping his basket with enough strength to bruise.

“That’s not helpful right now,” You say, and loop an arm through Wooyoung’s to hold close. You turn to the taller man behind you, the one who hasn’t torn his smoldering glare from Felix. “We need to pay and go. Yunho doesn’t want to cause problems with another pack, and there’s no reason to waste energy on him.” You shrug a dismissive shoulder at Felix, who rolls his eyes and walks away to join another checkout line. “He was just a group project partner, Mingi. He’s friendly with everyone.”

The larger man glances at you, then over the divider to Felix, then to the end of your line to Seungmin.

Of course he’s already clocked Seungmin.

There’s a reason he was chosen to guard you.

Evidently deciding that getting you out of the grocery store is easier than dealing with a confrontation from two members of a competing pack, Mingi tugs his wallet from a back pocket and pays for the groceries. He tosses the bags into Wooyoung’s grasp and then turns you with a hand on your back and herds you out of the store.

Seungmin doesn’t breathe again until their vehicle speeds you out of the parking lot.

The reason for your sudden protection detail becomes a little clearer the next time he finds you at the end of the baseball field, practicing your meditative *tai chi—*when he finds you crying. Your arms and legs carrying you with perfect poise through the movements, your face scrunched with pain and soaked with tears.

He’s on alert at the sight of your obvious distress, his senses kicking into overdrive to determine the cause of your ache, but he can’t identify a source. Instead of endorphins and blood, obvious markers of physical pain and abuse, you smell like cortisol and low blood sugar. Despite the over-controlling appearance of things, Yunho doesn’t seem to be hurting you, which does surprise him.

But you are unhappy.

That much is obvious.

You’re unhappy, you’re pulling away from your perfect fiancé to find time for yourself, and Yunho is feeling his grasp on you slipping. He can’t risk suffering a humiliating breakup that the entire student body would find out about, so he’s using his pack to keep an eye on you.

Seungmin knows what will happen to you if you continue to be unhappy—what happens to all humans who overstay their welcome with Yunho’s help. Either he will manufacture a breakup that humiliates you instead, or you will be disposed of.

Seungmin collects his gear, bouncing a baseball thoughtfully in the palm of his hand. You’re still unaware of his presence, still crying into your morning meditation, but he can’t help but feel like he’s witnessing your last moments on earth.

It’s not his business.

He leaves you there, headed for the showers, and hopes nobody had seen the indecision in his eyes.

The next time he finds himself close to you is an accident. His head is down, thumbing through the pages in his notebook, looking for a homework sheet that he’s suppose to turn in by today, when he’s hit by the scent of tea tree and blackberry—and then a shoulder jabs into his ribs.

He lurches back, hand lifting from his notebook to push the offending body away from him, and finds himself holding you by the arm, blinking down into your apologetic face.

You’re babbling regretfully, asking him if he’s okay, checking the ground to see if he’s dropped anything, but he’s just watching the way you’re avoiding his eyes.

You’re terrified, overwhelmed by the sheer number of werewolves on campus. He can feel you shaking beneath his hand. For a moment he wonders if he was wrong in his assessment of Yunho’s treatment of you, if you are actually being physically abused—based on the way you flinch away from his blank stare, you’ve clearly had some bad interactions with wolves.

“I’m so sorry.” You say again. “I’ll watch where I’m going.”

Seungmin lets you go. He never should have touched you, not even as a reflex. You’re Yunho’s woman, and now his scent is on you. “It’s fine.” He says simply, and shoulders past you.

He’ll hear of this again.

Jeongin will hear all about the member of his pack who put his hands on an alpha’s fiancé.

“Let me make it up to you!” Your voice cries from behind him, desperate to smooth things over and help him explain this unintentional rendezvous. You know how wolves can be. You know what’s just happened—you’ll probably be punished for it.

“Forget it.” Seungmin snaps back, barely looking over his shoulder. “Leave me alone.”

You find him the next day in the library, studying by himself. He can smell you coming, now that he’s gotten a scent of you up close, and his body immediately coils, tightening to leave. Nothing good can come of the two of you being seen together, much less studying together. You dump your books on his table and plop yourself down into the chair across from him.

Seungmin abruptly forgets his topic of study, stunned by your brazen neglect of cultural boundaries. “Are you stupid?” He snaps, whipping his gaze around. Your posse seems to have abandoned you today, but the morning is young. “You need to stop talking to my pack.” It’s harsh and biting, but it’s best for everyone.

You’re human—you don’t understand.

You can’t be getting buddy-buddy with Felix, you can’t be seeking out Seungmin. There are enough members of the pack you’re marrying into to keep you company without dragging another one into the drama that is your human desire for friendship and attention. You’re going to cause a fight, and you’re going to get someone killed.

But you just roll your eyes and flip open the cover of a textbook. “Things aren’t working out with Yunho.”

Seungmin’s scraping his things together, dumping handfuls of pencils and scrap paper and sticky notes into his backpack. “I don’t care.” And he really, really doesn’t. He thinks you’re pathetic, trapped in a relationship that isn’t all you thought it was going to be, and now you don’t realize there’s no way out of it. “Does Yunho know that? Because your guard dogs are still stalking you.” He juts his chin towards the front desk, where Wooyoung and Mingi are hovering, glowering at you.

Your complexion washes out ever so slightly.

At least you realize a little bit of the severity of the situation.

He catches your eyes finding his again and for a second he pauses in stacking his books. “What?”

“I don’t like these rules.” You say. “Why can’t I talk to you just because of Yunho?”

Seungmin’s backpack zips with a definitive sound. “Don’t you know anything? Wolves are territorial.” He shoves his chair back and gets to his feet. “Stop trying to talk to me. You’re not worth killing an alpha for.” He doesn’t catch your shocked expression as he spins on his heel and stalks out of the library.

And of course you don’t listen. Of course you think you know better than what everyone is telling you. You must think that, because Seungmin can’t imagine another reason that you would show up at his doorstep, banging on his dorm room door, sobbing your pitiful heart out in front of him.

You must be either stupid or arrogant.

He can only stare at you, one hand clutching the door, when you barrel straight at him and he finds a miserable, weeping human wrapped around his chest. Your tears are soaking into his throat, your heart hammering against his chest, and all he feels is panic.

Because you’re emitting hormones and chemicals that every wolf in the building can smell and you’re smearing them all over his clothes.

He doesn’t even question why you’re crying. In two seconds he’s shoved you off of him and slammed the door in your face, and in the next two seconds he’s bolted across his dorm and plunged himself into the shower to scrub every last remnant of you off of him.

It’s not until he’s out of the shower, toweling through his hair, tugging on fresh clothes, that he realizes that he hasn’t been able to get the image of you bawling like a lost lamb out of his head.

The shower isn’t enough. He’s meeting Jisung and Felix the next morning to study, and as soon as he approaches the table both older boys pin their gazes on him suspiciously. They’re taking in his scent, absorbing the intermingling of his familiar musk and the treacherous addition of your tea tree shampoo and warm skin.

“Dude.” Jisung sniffs, face scrunching once. He leans in, pushing his nose into Seungmin’s hair and bouncing back with a bright laugh when the younger man shoves him away. “Who did you fuck last night? You reek of woman.”

Seungmin swings a half-assed fist at Jisung and lets him dodge it. “I didn’t fuck anyone. Shut up.”

Felix’s eyes widen, leaning closer as well, and then he flinches back in surprise. “That’s Yunho’s girl. You smell like Yunho’s fiancé.”

A second of silence settles over the library before Jisung’s hand claps down on Seungmin’s shoulder. “You fucked Yunho’s fiancé?” He hears himself as soon as he’s said it, smacking a hand over his own mouth and ducking his head to avoid Seungmin’s burning glare. To take the target off his own back, he squints at Felix. “How do you know what she smells like?”

“We had a class project.” Felix frowns. “It took us a week and I nearly got gutted by Wooyoung and Mingi every time we had to meet for it. Are you fucking insane?” He directs the last question to the youngest.

Seungmin slams his textbooks down at the table, expression dark with rage. “I didn’t fuck anybody.” He snaps. “She showed up at my dorm last night and I shut the door in her face.” He hopes it will be enough to change the subject, but Jisung just inches closer. “I didn’t talk to her,” He grumbles before any more questions can be thrown haphazardly across the table. “I don’t know why she came to me. I’ve met her exactly once and told her to leave us alone.”

“I’ve heard she’s not vibing with Yunho anymore.” Jisung says, flipping casually through his notes. “She’s not as enamored with his freaky possessive tendencies as she thought she would be.” He completely ignores when Felix kicks him under the table. “And, actually, I’ve heard that his second in command is higher on his fuck list than she is.”

Seungmin kicks him too, being the second to notice to looming presence approaching from behind Jisung. “Shut up, hyung.” he grumbles. “This is none of our business.”

“Leave it alone,” Felix agrees. “It doesn’t concern us.”

“Yeah, but come on.” Jisung barrels on. “Why wouldn’t she be pissed to find out she’s second to Mingi after being paraded around like a queen for two years?”

The approaching wolves decide to make themselves known as Seungmin’s eyes roll to the ceiling. “Maybe don’t believe everything you hear.”

At the sound of Wooyoung’s voice in his ear, Jisung scrambles up and spins to face the two pack mates who have overheard him yapping. He looks appropriately abashed and rubs the back of his neck once but doesn’t back down. “We’re just talking,” He says, and flashes them both a glare.

The larger of the two, San, edges closer. It’s a very clear warning.

Wooyoung’s eyes flicker to Seungmin and his nostrils flare. “That one smells like the bitch.”

It’s enough to raise Seungmin’s hackles, even though he knows it isn’t meant the way humans mean it. More than that, it’s almost affectionate—because you aren’t properly a bitch; you’re not a wolf; but they accept you as belonging to Yunho anyway, like you are one.

They just don’t seem to care that you don’t want to be.

“It was nothing.” Seungmin says lowly. His tone is threatening, low enough that Wooyoung thinks twice about jumping in his face. “She came to the wrong room, I sent her away.”

San’s eyes narrow. “She’s come home reeking of you before. This isn’t the first time, pup.”

The nickname does not go over well.

Jisung utters a reverberating snarl that seems to eliminate the almost comical height difference between himself and San, while Felix rises from his seat and lifts his chin in a challenge.

The rest of the students begin to gather their things and move seats, giving the wolves a wide berth.

“We have no interest in you or any of your toys.” Jisung announces flatly. “Go home before you embarrass yourselves.”

Wooyoung takes a step back, but he has one final blow to land. “Watch yourself, dog.” His eyes are on Seungmin. “Yunho doesn’t take kindly to stealing.” He looks gleeful as he utters his next words. “And he doesn’t keep tainted goods.”

Seungmin doesn’t even know your name. He’s tuned everything about you out ever since he first started noticing you around campus. He doesn’t want to know you, doesn’t want to spend time with you, doesn’t want to think about you.

He especially doesn’t want to think about how pretty you are, or how kind and innocent you seem, or the way that your expression sinks into loneliness when you think you’re alone. He doesn’t want to know your name, or why you’re engaged to Yunho, or why you’re suddenly unhappy that you’re engaged to Yunho.

He doesn’t want to know why you showed up sobbing at his door after he was so cold towards you, or why you thought throwing yourself into his arms was a safer option than sharing your burdens with your own fiancé.

But when he hears you weeping once again, your wails echoing through the woods, he doesn’t even try to avoid you. This time he follows your sound, follows your scent, creeps through the dark trails to find you. Because he’s the reason your back is against a tree, your terrified body surrounded by the eight members of your pack.

He’s the reason Yunho looks sick as he takes in your scent and smells remnants of another wolf.

It’s his scent on you that is about to cost you your life.

If you were a wolf, Yunho would have just cut you loose. He would have sent you on your way, let you find someone else, staged some public and humiliating breakup for you. But you’re not. You’re human; you’re less than. he doesn’t need to let you live.

You’re screaming into the dark, pleading your case, begging them to believe that you don’t even know Seungmin, that it’s all a misunderstanding. The entire pack ignores you. They’ll make an example of you after they’ve torn you to pieces.

Seungmin knows there will be parts of you around campus by morning, a warning to all other wolves to keep their hands off of Yunho’s toys.

He can’t just sit by and watch you be killed because you were too dumb to understand pack boundaries. But he also can’t face down eight werewolves by himself, not on two legs.

So he shifts.

He transforms at will, assuming the form that so many fear and he takes a second to adjust. He’s big, one of the biggest of his pack, and he’s fast. As long as all four limbs are cooperating, he has a good chance at success to get you out of the trap you’re backed into.

He’s so fast Yunho’s pack doesn’t realize what’s happening.

Seungmin bolts into the circle they’ve created around you and darts straight towards you. Before you can scream or dodge his trajectory, he’s clamped his teeth around your shoulder and snatched you away into the dark.

He knows it hurts, he can taste your blood in his mouth, but his greater concern is the shouting and howling of the pack behind you. They’ll shift and give chase in a matter of seconds, but they’ll need the same time to adjust that he had needed. It will be enough time.

At least for now.

You’re screaming beneath him, clawing at his throat and trying everything to loosen his bite, but he can’t stop. If he stops they’ll catch up, and if they catch up, they’ll kill you both.

He doesn’t drop you until he’s outside his dorm, shifting back to human form just in time to catch you before you hit the sidewalk. You’re pale and bleeding, your shoulder mangled from his own teeth. He can still taste the blood on his tongue, and he feels it as it trickles over his lips.

“Seungmin?” You gasp as soon as you find yourself in his grip. “Wait, you—”

“You really are stupid, aren’t you?” He lifts you to his chest and shoulders the door open, casting a glance back to see the wolves of your old pack burst out of the tree line. “I told you this would happen.”

Seungmin hurries you up the stairs and down the hall, slamming his door shut behind you just in time to hear footsteps pounding behind you. He'll deal with it later. He'll text Jeongin, and Jeongin will deal with your pack.

He locks the door and sets you down on his bed, turning away abruptly to catch his breath. Sweat is trickling down his brow, seeping into the shirt at his back, his heart pounding a mile a minute. Behind him, he hears you tell him your name. "I don't want to know," He snaps, reaching for a first aid kit. "Don't say anything. God." He's seething, face red with rage. "You can't actually be this stupid."

"But--" You're confused. "You saved me. You got me out of there. It's over."

Stunned, Seungmin flings a hand towards the door where Yunho is doing his best to beat it down. "Does it sound fucking over? No. You're going to sit there and shut up, and once I'm done dealing with this mess you're going to leave. Transfer schools. Get lost. Just take your drama somewhere else and leave my pack out of it."

You sink into his pillows, your expression falling.

As he pushes your sleeve aside to clean the flesh his teeth have punctured, the only noise is the clamoring of your pack outside his door. Campus security will be alerted to the disturbance soon and they'll be gone without a fight, but the real trouble is coming.

"Why did you start running around on Yunho anyway?" He mutters sourly, not bothering to apologize when you hiss at the sting of his ointment.

"I'm not running around on Yunho." You refute glumly. "I broke up with him. Two months ago."

Seungmin snorts. "I don't think he agreed with you."

"Yeah, well, I didn't expect to be the one on a leash." It's a bitter, unkind comment, one that earns you a sharp glare. You flinch away from him, fully expecting to earn a slap or another bite for your disrespect, but the expression on Seungmin's face just melts into a smirk.

"Well, you know how dogs can be."

You weren't expecting that. "Why did you save me if you hate me so much?"

Seungmin begins to wrap your wound, not bothering himself with gentility. "Because you're dumb as fuck."

"Not because I'm human?"

It's your turn to surprise him. He fully expected another round of tears at his words, but you just take his prickly demeanor in stride. "I don't hate your humanity." He says, quietly this time. "I don't hate you. But you need to think about what you're doing. You got yourself involved with a volatile pack when you decided to date Yunho, and then you put my pack in danger when you decided to come crying to me. This world isn't all about you. You're messing with instinct and pride and you literally almost died over it."

You sink even deeper into the pillows. "I'll do better," You say. "I promise. I'll do better."

"You'll leave." He replies flatly. "You won't survive on campus. You have to leave."

A few minutes pass as the pack outside his door goes quiet, noise shifting into the sounds of campus security escorting them out of the building and urging them to deal with their issues during the daytime.

"Why did you come crying to me?" He asks finally. He gets up to collect a clean shirt for you to wear instead of the one that's now doused with blood.

"You called me stupid."

Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You came crying because I hurt your feelings?"

"No I came to you because you called me stupid when everyone else over there tells me nothing's wrong, it's all in my head, everything I do is fine. I came to you because I knew you'd tell me the truth, that you wouldn't do me any favors."

Well he certainly hadn't done you any favors by slamming the door in your face.

"What truth were you looking for?" He asks, tossing you the shirt.

You blush. "I wanted to know if they were going to kill me and never let me leave."

Seungmin snorts. "Figured that one out on your own, did you?"

You sit curled up on his bed while he rummages through his groceries and finds some rice and chicken to make. There’s a twitch in your posture, an obvious tug from where his bite has damaged the muscle of your shoulder.

He slides the pre-cooked rice into the microwave and turns it on, letting the low hum fill the room as his eyes find you once again. “I’m sorry about the bite,” he tells you, and he is. He hates the way your eyes fill with tears from the pain of it, hates the way your pathetic expression makes his gut twist.

You flinch, staring up at him. “No, no, I’m fine! You saved my life. I have no complaints.” Despite your rushed reassurance, you bring your legs closer to your chest and make yourself even smaller. “Look, I hear you.” You say. “I know I’ve made trouble for the packs. And I know I’ve put you in danger. If it’s important to you to just kill me, I understand.”

You’re absolutely stunned when he swats the back of your head. “You really are dumb as fuck, pabo.” He rolls his eyes again and drops himself onto the bed next to you, sitting against the wall as he watches the microwave hum away. “Why would I save your life just to kill you?”

You’re trembling next to him. “Why would you save it at all?” For a second your gaze drops to your shoulder, taking note of the enormous breadth of his teeth marks. “I’ve never seen a wolf so big.”

“Yunho is bigger.” Seungmin says simply. “I saved you because it’s my scent that marked you. They didn’t need to kill you over some stupid accident. Not when I wasn’t even trying to steal you.”

“Steal me?” Your eyes are wide.

“Wolves are territorial.” He reminds you again. “Yunho would rather kill you than lose you to me.”

The microwave beeps and he hefts himself up, going to swap one container for another. By the time he’s turned around again, you’ve gotten off the bed and found the strength in your legs again.

“Careful,” he warns, reaching for a plastic spoon. “You’ve lost a lot of blood.”

“Seungmin.” Your voice is tiny, pleading.

He turns, and then you’re flush against his chest, your mouth crushed against his. He stumbles back but you chase, kissing him so hard he feels his brain blank out for a second.

Until your hands climb the back of his neck and scrape through his hair and he lurches back, seizing your wrists.

You’re gasping, staring at him, eyes filled with tears. “I’ll be yours. I swear. I’ll be good and I’ll respect pack boundaries and I’ll do anything for you. I’ll make you feel so good, please, Seungmin. Let me be yours.”

He pushes you back, pushing you back on the bed. “God you really don’t know how not to be someone’s bitch, do you?” He pries your hands off his neck and backs away from you. “Stop chasing wolves. Go have a normal human relationship somewhere else.” He puts a plate of rice and chicken in your lap. “Eat.”

Your tears spill over. “I’m scared, Seungmin.”

“Scared isn’t a good enough reason to mate a wolf.” He snaps. The cruelty in his tone is undermined by the gentility with which he lifts your hand and presses chopsticks into your palm. “You must have learned that with Yunho.”

“He’ll kill me, Seungmin.”

“Eat your food.” He plates his own meal and sits at his desk, far away from you. “And don’t go kissing people for protection anymore.”

Your eyes duck to your plate and you sniffle pathetically. “I’m too scared to eat.”

“I’ll drive you to the airport in the morning.” He says disinterestedly. “Once you get out of here you’ll be fine. Just don’t go chasing wolves anymore.”

You put your food aside and get up to stand at the window, glancing out over the darkness of campus. “I like it here though.”

He drops his plate on the desk. “Oh my god, wolf girl, you literally cannot keep yourself out of trouble, can you?”

There’s a second as you turn to face him, a coy smile crossing your lips. “Do you like trouble, Seungmin?” You take one step and then you’ve got his chin in your palm, your other hand scruffing through his hair. “Do you want to get into trouble, puppy?”

He looks absolutely appalled as he snatches your hands away from him. “God, no wonder they were trying to kill you. Keep this up and I’ll just leave you on their doorstep.”

You utter a quiet laugh and the playful sneer melts off your face. As soon as it’s gone he realizes that it was a mask, that you had just been messing with him, but at the mention of your uncertain fate your fear is gripping quiet fingers at the base of your neck. “If you’ll let me sleep here tonight, I’ll sleep on the floor.” You say quietly. “Airport tomorrow morning, no more wolf chasing. Got it.”

He hates the defeated slump of your shoulders, the tears that slip down your face.

“You already have my scent.” He says flatly. “Sleep in the bed with me.”

So you do. You’re pressed into the wall on the other side, as far away from him as you can possibly manage. He watches you through the dark, watches your body shake with silent sobs.

You reek of fear and heartbreak, the scent overwhelming his senses until it’s pulsing in his skull.

He’ll never sleep at this rate, and he doesn’t want to think about the way his chest clenches every time he catches a glimpse of your big pitiful eyes.

“Pabo,” he whispers at your back, and sees you fall still. “You’re sniffling so damn loud I can’t sleep.”

Your entire body cringes. “I’m sorry. I’ll move to the floor.” You roll over to attempt to crawl to the foot of the bed to get around him but he catches your arm.

“Just come here,” he says, giving you a tug. “Neither of us are going to sleep if you’re over there being pathetically lonely. Come here, pabo.”

You seize the opportunity, desperate for physical touch, and you scoot closer until at least you can feel his shoulder against yours. “Thank you,” you whisper. “Yunho never let me touch him when he was trying to sleep. He’s not much of a cuddler.”

“And you are.” He guesses, feeling the way you’re leaning every ounce of your need for comfort into the two square inches of shoulder that is touching his.

“It’s a disease,” you laugh at yourself. “I just want to be held so fucking bad sometimes.”

Maybe it’s some science about the resonance in your voice or the sob that breaks through your tone or maybe a bout of temporary insanity, but the second your aching words touch his ears, Seungmin’s arms fall around your waist and tug you into him.

He hears you gasp, feels your heart beating through your back against his chest, feels your abdomen clench against his arm as you hold back sobs.

He gets it now. “You’re fine, pabo.” He mutters into your hair. “Just cry it out quickly so we can actually get some sleep.”

You immediately begin to sob, entire body decompressing with a corner of his pillow stuffed into your mouth. Months of a miserable, domineering relationship where your most sensitive emotional needs are neglected finally expressing itself on the night you nearly lost your life over nothing.

Seungmin huffs a tiny laugh against the back of your neck, allowing instinct to take over as he squeezes you closer. He sighs, almost amused. “Poor pabo,” he says, and chuckles again as you cry harder. “If only you had picked Wooyoung, I hear he’s way too physically affectionate.”

You launch a foot backwards and kick him, causing him to laugh harder.

“You’re not funny.” You mutter weakly.

“Shh, you’re supposed to be crying.” He tucks his arm firmly around your waist so neither of you will fall off the dorm twin mattress and promptly falls into comfortable sleep.

I'd love to hear what you think!

tag list : @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @estella-novella @babyphotos0325 @softfor-svtptg @furfoxsake22 @tubelightanyaa @kayleefriedchicken @rockstarkkami @sp1derst0rrr @eastjonowhere @its-stayville-forever @allenajade-ite @naraportokala @jinniejjam @blackberryrains @feetoffthemalfoy @highandalive @scarlet789 @ramadiiiisme @thecutiepieme @lemonn015 @darlingsoulbeautifulthoughts @dreamingartist13 @ebnabi @bangtan-sonyeondamn8 @lemonn015 @thepoeticpurplepotato

#skz #stray kids #skz crack!horror #kim seungmin #seungmin #ateez #wooyoung #san #mingi #yunho #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #seungmin x you

157 notes · View notes