#which is to say probably not but I'll give it a go
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Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)
Story time!
Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.
I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"
So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.
But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.
So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.
And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.
That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO
I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.
But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.
Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.
I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)
bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺
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options — choi seungcheol x reader
summary: where cheol tries his best to make sure your pregnancy cravings are satisfied—by buying what seems to be the whole convenience store
notes: this can be seen as a pt. 2 to this one shot I wrote back in June of last year (I did not know it's been that long since that has been posted wtf), but it can also be seen as a standalone. I got a burst of inspiration suddenly, so enjoy the one shot! <3
disclaimer: I am not pregnant, so whatever I write about pregnancy is through pure guessing, and also, if I decide to google it! so yeah :)
masterlist
"Did you leave any food for the other customers who might want to eat tonight?" you asked in amusement, watching Seungcheol put what seemed like the fifth plastic bag filled with food from the convenience store onto the table.
"Well, you kept on texting me things the baby might want, so I decided to get everything you've been craving and maybe some things that might work," Seungcheol explained, a bit out of breath from how many times he had to go back and forth.
"Baby, don't you think this is a bit too much? I don't even think baby girl will want a fourth of these," you said, rubbing your pregnant belly.
Ever since you and Seungcheol found out you were pregnant, he had become an even more attentive husband, if possible. He had insisted that you were not allowed to lift a single finger throughout your pregnancy, saying that you shouldn't get tired.
You had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? He would wake up the second you called his name, helping you from the bed and waiting outside the bathroom to make sure you didn't fall in or something (it had happened once, and Seungcheol was both worried and amused at the time). You were hungry? Seungcheol was already ordering something from a food delivery app or cooking one of the doctor-approved dishes that he taught himself to make.
He also made sure all of your pregnancy cravings were satisfied, which was why you've found yourself with what must've been the entire convenience store stock in your home. "So where do we start?" you asked, watching as he brought out a ton of different food out of the bags—chips, samgak (and regular) kimbap, ramen packs, and even ice cream from the bags.
"We should probably see if baby wants the already made food, and the ice cream can be a dessert?" He suggested, but you were already eyeing up your favorite ice cream from even before you got pregnant.
Seungcheol saw that you were looking at the ice cream and without fail, gave it to you before going to the freezer in order to put the rest in so they don't melt. "Thank you," you grinned, a mouthful of ice cream, which made him shake his head in endearment.
"Here, smell this," he said, giving you an open bag of chips.
You looked at him weirdly, yet smelled it. "It smells... like chips?" you said and smelt it one more time just to be sure.
"Does the baby want this?" He asked.
"Oh, not really," you shook your head, and he closed up the chip bag and proceeded to grab another bag, presumably to do the same.
"This one?" Seungcheol asked, giving you what looked like the last item, which was a cup tteokbokki.
"Oh, yeah!" You excitedly said.
"Really?!"
"No, I just wanted to make you happy, but the baby's really not liking it," you sighed.
Seungcheol sighed, which made you feel guiltier, as he had bought all of this food, and it was nothing you were currently craving. "I'm so sorry, Cheol. Maybe I can eat something—" you were saying as you were picking up a package of sweet bread, but quickly dropped it once the smell hit your nose.
"No, you shouldn't have to force yourself to eat if you don't like it. It's not your fault our daughter might just be the pickiest eater ever. I'll just bring all of this to practice tomorrow and the guys can eat all of it," Seunghceol shrugged.
You still felt guilty, which he must've seen by the look on your face, which prompted him to grab you gently so he could give you a hug. "Maybe there's something in the fridge?" He suggested, holding your hand and using his thumb to caress the back of your hand.
You thought about it for a moment before releasing Seungcheol's hand, to which he pouted when you did and walked towards the refrigerator. You looked through the fridge, but nothing caught your eye.
Until a bright orange Tupperware lid caught your attention and you grabbed it. Once you opened it, you looked at Seungcheol sheepishly. "I found something to eat.." you said.
Seungcheol stood up walked over to you and looked at the Tupperware. "Isn't this the japchae Mingyu and Jun made?" he asked, and you nodded.
"I guess I'm gonna have to ask them to make you japchae every time you crave it. Or learn it myself,"
taglist: taglist: @belladaises @winterpaos @minhui896 @baekhyunimochibbh @x-alightinthedark @whywontyousetfree @coffeesandrains @slaveofmydreams @bmkgemz @dandycharmer @outrologist @stagefrjghts @dahliatopia @exo-saranghajaaa @uhlatcha @watermelon-sugars-things @miniminimingi @venzline @withloveyjh @lockburn-castle @userjunhuii @mypsychicpizzaworld @violetvoo @maevadobreva @soonyoungblr @baekhyunstruly @ryusol @dunixxd @minhwa @ovai @scorpiobitch88 @icyminghao @cookiehaos @duskunt1ldawn
#seventeen fluff#seungcheol fluff#scoups fluff#choi seungcheol fluff#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#choi seungcheol x reader#seventeen scenarios#svt x reader#seungcheol fic#scoups fic#seungcheol scenario#scoups scenario#seungcheol imagines#scoups imagines#seventeen seungchol#seventeen scoups#seventeen reactions
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Hybrid 141 As Parents - Foster Human Child!Reader (Part 7)
You and Johnny were at a standstill. You woke up not long ago from your nap, still safely tucked to his side in the nest in an almost claustrophobic way. You were ready to just get up and leave this situation, but Johnny didn't really let you, actually still insisting on playing with you, which resulted in now.
Both of you were staring eachother. You were satting quietly against the nest border as Johnny laid hid big body across the nest easily, laid on his side as he smiled smugly at you, hand holding his head up, his other hand resting quietly near your little feet. If you tried scooting backwards, he would pull you back easily with just a small tug.
"Pup, come on, ya knae ya want to play a wee bit~" He almost singsongs, voice low and provocative...
Still a bit babyish too.
"Wanna play tag?" As you shake your head quietly, he crawls a bit closer, keeping his big body somehow lower than your sitting position. "No tag? I'll play nice, papa always play nice!" He smiles big, sharp and long teeth on display, making you tremble a little.
You still shake your head, embarrassed.
"Hide 'n seek?" He pouts exaggeratedly, long, fluffly ears pinned back on his head. It looked... kinda cute, but you still shook your head a little. "Come on, Lass.... It'll make ya good to move around a wee bit..."
"Don't wanna play..." Your murmur quietly, still pretty much shy around them.
Johnny lets out a little whimper at that, which immediatly startled you a bit at the high pitched sound.
"How about... just a walk around, yeah?" He suggests gently, only to immediatly sit up a bit, getting excited about his own idea. "Oh, yeah, yeah, let's go for a walk, wee pup! That way, you can get to knae the place around the house, aye?"
"If they are going for a walk outside, they need to be properly dressed." Kyle casually remarks as he comes inside the room out of nowhere, clothes in hand. "It's already getting dark, and the temperature is dropping. Price said that it's threatening to snow tomorrow." "Already??" Johnny growls slightly, and that immediatly makes you jump back a little on the nest. "Oh, nae, nae, it's okay, pup, i'm so sorry, wee pup, come 'ere." He changes tones quickly, leaning over you to coo gently as he paws the blanket tangled around you, pulling you closer.
"Unfortunately." Kyle huffs a little, wings shuffling behing his back, getting fluffly. "I though we would have more time."
Johnny hums, frowning as he considers what to do next, his hands holding you to his chest, even as you squirm a little.
"It's probably okay for a human, aye?"
"If they are properly dressed, yes. Come here, chick." You didn't have time to react as Kyle bend down and picked you up on his arms, the blanket still wrapped around you.
Johnny got up too, stretching like a real dog as he watched Kyle gently set you down on the carpet and pat your clothes, straightening the sweater and pants that got rustled after your nap.
"Give me your hand, chick." Kyle smiles easily, gently, grabbing your hand after you hesitantly lifted it. "John got good things, thank god. This gloves and hat feel very warm."
"It has to be, right? Weren't them in a store that caters to humans too?" Johnny kneeled down by you, watching faithfuly as Kyle gently put the thick wool gloves on your little hands.
"Yeah, but you know how it is. They say they cater to these less common races, but in the end it's just a marketing scheme." Kyle roll his eyes slightly, once again dropping out of the gentle persona he usually adopts when near you. "But these are fine, they feel thick and warm, the wool is good quality, the type that will isolate the heat nicely."
Kyle picked up the new thick jacket they got you at the store, quickly helping you into it, zipping it up tight over the sweater. It did feel warm, almost too warm to your already warm room.
"And here's your beanie, Lass!" Johnny smiled big, picking up the wool beanie and using one of his big hands to push your hair back flatly, your eyes squinting at the action as you feel the hat being placed expertly on your head. "Does it feel warm?"
You nod quietly, feeling a bit too wrapped up in your new clothes.
"Good! Let's put on your shoes and go outside, aye?"
It didn't take long for the three of you to be making your way downstairs, immediatly caughting Simon's attention as he frowned.
"You're leaving?" He asks gruffily, posture immediatly changing as he crossed his thick arms over his chest, still frowning.
"Aye, going outside with the lassie to exercise a little!" Johnny quickly smiled, nodding as his tail wagged behind him.
"It's late."
"It's like, 6:30 p.m." Johnny smiles back, rolling his eyes a little.
"It's cold outside."
"They're wrapped up." Kyle adds, smiling a bit too smugly.
Simon squinted his eyes a little more, annoyed, which only made the younger two laugh with a bit too much arrogance.
"Stop going all mama bear, Si, they're gonna be fineeeeeeee~" Johnny laughs, gently nudging you towards the front door.
Simon growls quietly at that, but cuts himself off almost immediatly as they see you weaken your steps.
"I just don't like the idea of having them outside at this hour and at this weather." He replies, voice heavy and low, almost growled out.
"It's not good for them to be cooped up inside all the time." Kyle points out, Johnny quickly nodding to agree with his mate.
Both harpies and werewolves are very active and outdoors' species. Contrary of Wraiths, obviously.
"Let them go, Simon. It's good for the kid to walk a little too." John raises his voice for the others to hear him from the kitchen.
Simon huffs, but his posture relax slightly. He glances at you, that is obediently still by the door, Johnny big presence pressed against your back as he still smiles smugly at Simon.
"Be careful, eyes on them all the time, don't start with your little games yet, this is a little human kid we are talking about." Simon speaks slowly, clearly holding back on a growl as his fingers started to let out small wisps of shadows.
"I knae, Si! What do ya take me for?? 'M nae dimwit!" Johnny huffs, rolling his eyes before he lets out a big grin right after. "I'm not play wrestling this wee baby yet, it's just a little walk!"
"God, I also want to let loose and fly a little..." Kyle huffs a bit, stratching his wings, tho quickly tucking them back when he saw you take a small step away in intimidation. "But I'll let that for later. I'll help John with dinner."
"Be back before dinner." Simon warns Johnny once again, that just throws a mock salute his way and steps out of the house, taking you with him.
"Right, mama bear! We'll be right back!"
"Don't compare myself to the likes of Nikolai." Simon huffs as he turns away from the now closed front door, going to the kitchen to both help the other two with dinner and to watch Johnny and you outside the kitchen window.
#poly141#poly!141#cod#foster child!reader#teen!reader#kid!reader#simon ghost riley#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#wraith!ghost#werewolf!soap#dragon!price#harpy!gaz#monster 141 au#monster au#cod mw2#cod mw3#tf 141#dad!price#dad!ghost#dad!soap#dad!gaz#hybrid 141#human!Reader#platonic!141
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Will had hope ... and then lost it.
He had hope that maybe, just maybe, Mike and he felt the same way. And I think it started here:
Mike expressed relief at the idea of Will not joining another party. And Will's look seems ... surprised but joyful? Like he's picking up on Something the audience is not.
Then we have this:
I know a lot of people say he meant this in a friendship way. But I don't think he did entirely. I think he was 'testing the waters' so to speak, to see Mike's reaction to him asking something like this so forwardly--an action driven in part, possibly, also by frustration. Of course their friendship was his priority but he was also Sending Mike a Message. Speaking in code, if you will. And I'm not sure if Mike picked up on it or not, but he knew what he was doing when he used the word 'us'.
Then of course we have Mike's speech to Will in episode 4. The way he slightly tilts his head to the side inquisitively after Mike said 'It's Hawkins, it's not the same without you', as if he's thinking "am I dreaming? Is he really saying this?" And not to be meta but he might even be wondering if he's being delusional here.
On top of that, the speech prompted him to gather the courage to do this:
hope again. But then his arc culminated in this:
Will's facial expressions when Mike is self-depricating ... he seems so sad. In the second one, even Mike notices and cuts himself off to apologize for bringing up this subject.
I think he, sadly, realized Mike did feel the same way as him, but not in the way he had initially hoped. Mike, like him, is struggling with not feeling good enough for the person he loves.
And Will did not want Mike to feel the same way he did. So he did what we saw him do and give the painting to Mike, which symbolizes his love for DnD, for what they do together, for their friend group, for him. His intention here was to make Mike feel better. Important. Seen. Even at the cost of his own heartbreak.
"Every smile you fake, I'll be watching you."
So to recap, at the beginning of the season, Will had been acting weird and painting for someone he liked ( according to El ). We find out very quickly that the recipient of the painting was intended to be Mike. I don't think Will ever intended for the painting to be a full blown love confession--but a start. A continuation of the 'hint dropping' they started doing at the end of S3. But of course, the whole world went to shit, and his feelings got amplified to the point where the painting's meaning took a different turn. And it became the basis of a veiled love confession.
I think this is devastating because the narrative forced them, once again, down a different path from the natural progression this would've been had Mike been allowed to enjoy a nice spring break in California.
I do believe by the end of S4, Will has completely lost the last vestiges of hope he had left that Mike would ever reciprocate his feelings, especially after Mike's love confession. I think he feels stupid for even allowing himself to believe there was a chance.
I mean, look at him. And, terrifyingly, I feel like that is exactly where Vecna needs him to be at the start of S5.
Sprinkle in some #birthdaygate and voila ... we have the perfect recipe for a horrible Vecna vision.
I don't know how they'll resolve this, but it does feel to me that the intention of Will's S4 arc was to get him to a point of loss of hope, which signifies the death of his dream.
Going into S5, he probably sees this dream now as stupid and childish--an impossibility. Adding to this, there's no way in hell Will is going to confess. Not when this happened and it was never resolved.
The ball is on Mike's court, for better or for worse.
And I think this is also another plot twist we will find out through Vecna: the fact that Will had hope that he and Mike could be together and felt the same way. And that honestly makes whatever Vecna does to Will 10 times worse because if Will had NEVER had hope, then there's nothing new there. But having hope and then having it crushed to the ground? Yeah ... my heart hurts as I type this.
#byler#byler analysis#and does this mean byler endgame? I really freaking hope it does bc maybe Will's dream needs to be restored or changed in some way for the#story to be resolved. I keep going back to how his emotional arc ties the whole show together and this might be a piece of the puzzle.
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It's tough. It is.
I'm a 30-year-old transgender man. From ages 16 to 23-ish, I was stuck in the alt-right pipeline, as well. I watched all that stupid bullshit with "feminists getting owned!!!1!" and what the fuck ever else. I think what pushed me towards it was how people on Tumblr used to be upset over EVERYTHING and would belittle me for my masculinity. I remember seeing a post that had a gif of a scene from some anime, I dunno which one, and it was of a naked girl laying down. People were complaining about her breasts not being realistic - it wasn't the size, it was that they weren't sagging or drooping, and that men need to be portrayed with rock hard dicks that never soften or whatever. But I was just sitting there thinking, "She's laying down... lol. Gravity is literally pushing her breasts against her chest, not pulling them down."
Anyway. Posts like that, but they got worse. I've had a lot of people on the left question my gender. "Why would you want to be a man? Women are the better choice." "I don't know why you'd want to do that, why give up your femininity?" I got into a small argument with a woman once on it, basically saying that it felt like trans men weren't really counted much and were largely ignored in the trans community, along with non binary people, who are usually just treated as "Women Lite." She got so angry that she told me, "You probably just wanna be a guy because you're too ugly to get one for yourself."
That's what tipped me over to the right for a bit. Until I realized they cared even less about me and that if given the chance, well. What happened on November 5th would happen, and they'd look for any excuse to strip me of my rights.
For cis, straight, white men it's not so easy to get out of. They're welcomed with open arms, there's no looming threat of having their rights taken away. So the pull of some "brotherhood" is more enticing. I was groomed and sexually assaulted by a man, but I was also sexually assaulted and groomed by a woman. I'll always believe that, no matter what, humans are just humans. White, black, gay, straight, trans, cis, man, woman - humans. And humans can be good, and they can also fucking suck. So I'll never say "all men are trash" or "all women are garbage" or anything like it ever again.
I see men's issues with mental health. I wish they would understand that it's the patriarchy that ultimately fuels those issues, and I wish some women would see how they also contribute to it. I see a lot of younger women these days placing men's entire values on their income, their careers, their appearances, what they can buy for them... I've seen a tweet of dudes just chilling and playing video games, showing off Pokemon cards or some shit and a woman quote retweeted it and said, "Men used to fight in wars. 🙄" Yeah. That'll stop toxic masculinity - tell men they're not real men unless they go to war and give up what makes them happy. Nice...
The patriarchy hurts women by enforcing the idea that they are to submit to men's wishes, stay at home, clean, cook, have babies. That's all women are allowed to experience.
The patriarchy hurts men by enforcing the idea that they are to overwork themselves, abandon any non traditional masculine interests and basic human emotions in favor of that work, and go to fight and possibly die in wars.
These ideals were put into place as soon as different tribes, races, countries and so on realized that, "Oh. There's OTHER types of people, and I want to be the most powerful and rich so they don't take what I have. Hmm. Better make sure women can only spit out plenty of babies and that plenty of those babies are men to be my soldiers and workforce."
If you're a man that supports any of those ideas, fuck you. If you're a woman that supports any of those ideas, fuck you, too. I'm sick and tired of generalizing people. I'm sick and tired of having to give up pieces of ourselves in order to put more money in billionaire's pockets. I'm sick and tired of men being told they're "too feminine" to be a man over being into stuff like sewing, baking, dolls, fashion, cozy games and I'm tired of seeing women being told they're "too masculine" to be a woman for being into coding, mechanical work, FPS games, science and I'm tired of seeing non binary people being told they're too much of one or the other to be non binary.
I'm tired of seeing men put down other men for having a fucking emotion other than anger or goddamn numbness. I'm tired of seeing women put down other women for being more attractive or not attractive enough. Just... stupid, petty bullshit that should have been over and done with decades ago, why the fuck are we STILL here?
It's tough. Because I love men and care deeply about men. But I also don't think we need to baby them and pat them on the back and say, "It's OK that you joined a fascist group of people that openly and proudly call themselves Nazis." And if a man ever tells me or any woman or AFAB person that it's "your body, my choice," I will grab the nearest blunt object I can get my hands on and beat the snot, shit, and blood out of them.
But I do think we need to work harder at not alienating our CIS, straight, white, male allies. We need to stop generalizing everybody and correct our language when talking about people. And we especially need to make it clear that the alt-right only seeks to divide for their own benefit, not for anyone else's. It's money and power that they want. Men, unless you are wealthy, you are just a vote and a pawn to them, nothing else. We need Democrats in the USA to stop rolling over and blowing kisses to Republicans in the hopes that they'll play nice and cut us some slack. It's not going to happen, not in meaningful numbers. And we NEED to crack down harder on alt-right online spaces. I don't give a fuck no more, get rid of that shit, I don't care if it's seen as too extreme or censorship, if you give these dangerous people a place to commune and feel safe with their harmful ideologies, then it WILL spill over into other spaces. And parents of young children: you need to BE BETTER at monitoring what your kids are seeing and doing online. Take it from someone who no-lifes online games: they are going into these spaces and saying heinous, horrible shit. They are being groomed, they are saying slurs and sexually harassing women, they are even seeking sexual attention and guidance from adults and strangers, and some of those adults are sick enough to take them up on their offers. One little trip into a few public instances of games like VRChat will be all the proof you need. I love the Internet, I really do, but I also see how its anonymity has done harm to us and has severely damaged how young people interact with each other, online and offline.
Anyway, sorry that was so long. I've been pissed the fuck off since I saw that Trump "won" the election and this shit has been on my mind for years, just even more so now.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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May never come to reality but im planning out a Animatic to AJR's 'Maybe Man' (sue me) and need some help filling in some of the parts.
(Its probably going to be about all the life series in general not specifically Wild life. but feel free to try it fit it all in one series)
!!!long post incoming!!!
General plan so far:
First Half(ish) will be calmly looking at hermits in their peaceful habitats talking about their insecurities.
Finishing the first half when we get to the god part it will be Grian before life series started pleading to watchers and becoming one himself then cutting to him and all the other lifers standing around in a circle (like the start of each series) (much wow)
ONE. TWO. PANDEMONIUM.
murder, just all of the scenes of people dying biggest polt twist, betrayals, and Amount of kills.
Also specifically a close up of grain seeing the server burning in the reflection of his eyes.
ending with another shot of the beginning of a server but we see grains eyes which are weathered and worn out and maybe has some watcher purple
Specific Lines:
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal But I'd miss the way we make up and smile Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
Im thinking scar and Grian Desert Duo? also could be
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head Then I could see the places I've been But then I would know that you're talkin' shit I don't wanna know what my friends think
This im Deff thinking cleo bigb scott and lizzie from the Boogeyman series (i forgor wich one that is)
but open to other ideas
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn I'd be so glad when I hear you come home But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
This is pearl playing with a dog, you cannot fucking make me change my mind
I wish I could act in a show on TV 'Cause then I could practice not bein' me I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel But you won't believe me when I cry for real
im either thinking like Ren or Martyn because of the acting thing or one of the scenes usually portrayed as lots of crying (ie Scott at the end of double life)
I wish that my brain would triple in size I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind I don't wanna know the point of life
ive been thinking of this as jimmy in general but also i dont want to be mean so other ideas would be great
In some other life I would be rich I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill But couldn't complain 'bout anything small Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
havent given much thought for ones after this but im thinking Scar on Magic mountain trying to scam everyone?
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack I'd get invited to every frat But when you get old and your good days have passed You'll only want me when you're sad
have there been any people that bounce between alliances during one series?
Wish I was a song, your favorite one You'd follow the dance to me at your prom I would be there when your baby is born For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
there was at least one dande floor that was a trap, right??
I wish I was big, as big as my house I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch God, I could really use him now
probably ep1 of WildLife
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up And if I did, well, so fuckin' what? I could be cruel and break all your stuff Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what
pov grain angst
grain is on super windy mountain top surrounded by watchers crying, pleading to them
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear And then you would die, you'd love me to death I never know who the hell I am
grian is surrounded by purple light wings and eyes becoming at least in part, a watcher
I wish I was me, whoever that is I could just be and not give a shit Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
cut to peaceful tranquil plains, all of them jn a circle at beginning of life series laughing joking shaking hands hugging (set em up for emotional damage)
One, two, pandemonium
black, black, PAN DE MONIUM
cut to destruction of server only using reds browns and blacks showing carnage this series has brought (and yes ofc player has died messages will appear in the corner as if in chat)
One, two, pandemonium
im thinking each line will be each of the series in chronological order
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
One, two-
Here I go again
cut to beginning of ?wild life? they all have scars when their final kills have been, some look tired some look determined
if you end up making this animatic if you want to put me in the credits as like 'inspired by' :3 but honestly idc that much. but you HAVE to tell me if you post one bc i will watch the hell out of that
#god i need more tags
#traffic smp#traffic series#last life#double life#third life#life series#ajr#animatic#help#ideas#outline#grian#mumbo#goodtimeswithscar#skizzleman#implusesv#geminitay#tangotek#joel smallishbeans#ldshadowlady#zombiecleo#bigb#bdoubleo100#martyn inthelittlewood#scott smajor#rendog#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#pearlescentmoon#ethoslab
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I think we need to deconstruct the 'Risky Business' scene and take a step back -
I just watched a video where someone put Ryan's dancing and the actual scene with Tom Cruise side by side for comparison and it was... pretty spot on. Like maybe a 95% accuracy rate.
Now from a production perspective, we write this off as a fun homage and reference to an older movie that was probably pretty popular with the writer's room, which tracks given what we know about the bts workers for the show.
However, if we think about it from a story perspective -
Why would Eddie, in his first allowed moment of actualized joy, recreate the Risky Business dance scene?
On its face, Eddie has probably never lived alone in his life. He went from his childhood home to the army to then sharing a house with his wife and child to then only his child. That man has never had an actual moment of privacy. Here he is essentially 'alone' and he is learning how to be by himself, how to be okay with being alone, which he would have had to learn how to do anyway once Chris goes to college. Chris being in Texas is making Eddie reckon with this much earlier. And in doing so he is learning how to take care of himself and his needs. Circling back to the airplane disaster earlier this season, he needs to put his own mask on before he can help anyone else with theirs. He can't be a good parent to Chris without working on himself. And part of that is giving himself the space to be alone in his house, dancing in his underwear, naked. He is learning to let go of his shame, which we see happen by not even bothering to put pants on when he sees Buck. Usually, when this scene was recreated in other shows, the person "caught" dancing in their underwear feels immediately embarrassed and tries to walk it back. Eddie did no such thing. This is a step in the right direction.
Furthermore, Risky Business was a movie that came out in 1983 (and also was the catalyst for Tom Cruise's long-standing rumors that he was a gay man, which I won't get into here, discuss the validity of these claims, nor how it also relates to Eddie's journey). Given what we know about Eddie, he is a 90s baby. He was born a decade AFTER this movie came out. So by the time he saw it, it was not at the height of its popularity.
Like I've mentioned, this scene has been recreated throughout media since its debut, so there were many opportunities for him to learn about the movie on his own.
But the choice of pulling a Risky Business allows us to infer:
- dancing around is something he has wanted to do
- dancing the Risky Business dance was something he has wanted to do for a long time
Furthermore, the step by step recreation means that Eddie has had to have watched the movie, watched that scene, hundreds of times to do it so flawlessly.
Now imagine a young Eddie Diaz... sitting in front of his living room tv... late at night... the movie muted... rewinding the tape in his VHS to watch Tom Cruise dance around in his underwear and wondering why he can't stop watching and why it makes him happy.
I'll end by including this link to an OUT article about the cultural significance of Tom Cruise in 'Risky Business' to the queer community.
Tl;dr - Eddie saying he is straight means nothing as he was able to flawlessly recreate the 'Risky Business' dance scene from memory.
#9-1-1 on abc#911 abc#911 on abc#eddie diaz#gay eddie diaz#911 spoilers#911 spec#eddie diaz character analysis#i love storytelling#and intentional storytelling#eddie diaz had a crush on tom cruise is now a hc i regretfully have#and yes this will lead to#buddie
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Double Barreled MFK
(A/N - I've seen these around, and I enjoy reading them. Check out @arc-misadventures and Master Posts of Posts V and V.V for some really interesting and entertaining combinations. This is inspired by their collection of much better written posts.)
Jaune Arc and Coco Adel were seated on the edge of Beacon's fountain, examining and discussing the various apparel that was being worn by Beacon Academy's "Hottest Huntress/Huntsman" poll.
For reasons unbeknownst to them they were neither on the list, nor had they been allowed to participate in the judging.
Nora: Jaune-Jaune!
Jaune: (Without looking up from his Coco's scroll) No.
Nora: But...
Jaune: (Looks up at Nora) I'm not...
Coco: Is she doing MFK with you again?
Jaune: Probably... (Looks at Nora) No... definitely.
Nora: Please? Last one... I promise!
Jaune: You said that the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and...
Nora: Okay. Sheesh beating a dead-horse there Fearless Leader.
Coco: Who were the choices?
Jaune: Coco?
Coco: Don't look at me like that. I'm curious on who she was going to try and temp you with.
Jaune: You know she's only going to try and rope you into this frustration if you pry.
Coco: I'm still curious. Who are the choices?
Nora: Yeah! Okay... Mr Arc. Ms Adel... Marry Fuck Kill...
Jaune: I never agr...
Coco: Shush!
Nora: Bachelorette number one! Fearless Leader's one and only partner, the mascot of Pumpkin Pete's... Pyrrha Nikos!
Pyrrha: Hi?
Jaune: What is she blackmailing you with... this time?
Pyrrha: Nothing?
Jaune: Nora?
Nora: Bachelorette number two! She is the fantasy MILF for tens of thousands! Her origins are shadowed in Mystery... the Tarnished Spartan!
TS!Pyrrha: Ah... hello?
Coco: OMG!
Jaune: How?
TS!Pyrrha: Nora asked me?
Jaune: But...
Nora: Jaune-Jaune... I. Have. My. Ways.
Jaune: But...
Nora: Don't. Question. Just. Accept. Understood?
Jaune: ...
Coco: Can I ask?
Nora: No.
Coco: Okay then.
Nora: And finally Bachelor number one...
Jaune / Coco: KILL!
Nora: Huh? But? I didn't get to...
Jaune: You said bachelor. That means it's a guy. I'm not into guys. Kill.
Coco: I'm not either. Kill.
Nora: Should have seen that one coming. Oh well. Jaune?
Jaune: I'd fuck the Tarnished Spartan and Marry Pyrrha.
Nora / TS!Pyrrha / Pyrrha: Why!?!
Jaune: (Sighs) The Tarnished Spartan... has always been a fantasy and I'd like to see if what I dreamt up matches reality, but in the end I want to have a family and live out my life with the one person here who has lifted me up and given me everything of themselves. So I'd marry Pyrrha.
Pyrrha: YES! I'll call my mom and get the preparations started!
Jaune: Huh?
Coco: Looks like you're off the market! Congratulations!
Nora: Okay, so... Coco... who are you going to Marry, and who are you going to Fuck?
Coco: I'm not a homewrecker so I'd have to get my brother from another mother's permission to give his waifu the time of her life at her Hen Party, and then I'd marry the Tarnished Spartan... preferably at the same ceremony as the man who would be my best man! Besides, as much fun as Nikos looks like she'll be... I want someone a little more mature.
TS!Pyrrha: I accept!
Coco: YES!
Nora: So... hmmmm....
Jaune: Nora?
Nora: So you both want to fuck the other's would-be wife. Sounds like you both are into partner swapping! NICE!
Jaune: I am n...
Coco: I'm game if you are.
Jaune: What???
Coco: Ladies, what say you? You up for some consensual fun before the nuptials?
Pyrrha and TS!Pyrrha look at each other...
Pyrrha/ TS!Pyrrha: YES!
Jaune: WHAT???
(A/N 2 - The third choices was Pyrros Nikos a character from @arc-misadventures' Swap Au which can be found here IV. A very talented writer with some awesome ideas/stories. If you haven't give them a look.)
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Bogleech, my man, speaking as someone who legitimately likes you and does my best to understand where you're coming from: You really should have just left the phrase "trash to eliminate" in drafts. Interpreting that phrase as "I think they all should die and I am not being hyperbolic or joking at all" is actually entirely reasonable in the environment of the modern Internet, where people say shit like that without a hint of irony all the time, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. There are a lot of times where people overreact to you saying stuff that wasn't really that bad or have biases against you for bullshit reasons (and some of those people did jump onto this opportunity to hate on you here), which I imagine does probably make it harder to see the genuine criticism, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Yes, the people you are referring to say stuff that's just or bad, if not worse than that, about people they don't like all the time. That is part of why they are the bad guys here. You gotta avoid stooping so close to their level of hate speech, and the fact that you're on the right side here doesn't change that. So, could you please try to be more careful about what you say in the future? And maybe not double down so hard when you get called out on it instead of taking a moment to think about why people may have reacted that way?
We’re going to hear a lot of stupid bullshit over the next few days/months/years about how Harris/the Democrats failed to win over men, or young people, or uneducated voters, or those worried about the economy, or whatever….but the truth is this: this country hates women and minorities; its citizens understand fuck all about the economy; and the people are incredibly susceptible to outright lies, scams and fascist values
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Camus character analysis: games VS anime
If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this
In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).
Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place
Spoilers for all of the games!
The "be my slave" thing
Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)
Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.
Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.
The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:
Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.
Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!
(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro
^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)
What the anime couldn't cover
The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)
It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.
First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends
The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.
But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"
He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:
(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)
He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.
Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:
At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-
-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress
Upbringing
Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?
We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...
His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.
He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)
When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child
As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.
So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them
In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.
(This is Saotome describing him btw)
Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.
"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers
On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)
His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.
That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;
This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao
He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)
That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him
Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!
Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.
So what was the anime supposed to do??
Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).
It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.
I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)
Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....
#please don't take this too seriously#i just wanted to cry about camus#uta no prince sama#utapri#camus (utapri)#quartet night#cecil aijima#ranmaru kurosaki#reiji kotobuki#ai mikaze#tag for me yapping about utapri
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The Sun and the Night Sky is on hiatus!
Quick summary for those that wouldn't like that much reading. Sun/sky is going on hiatus for the sake of my own mental health. I don't know when it will be coming back as I don't know how my mental health is going to change in future. I'm still going to be writing and posting other fics on ao3, just not updating sun/sky but i'll probably still talk about/post art about the fic over here (but not everything will go on the fable smp tag so make sure to follow the tag for the fic if you wanna see updates) and any asks you guys send me i'd love to answer too - just don't ask me when the fic will be back <3
Thank you ♥
Anyways little bit longer rant below (warning for the bad mental healths stuff)
This fic was never supposed to be this long, and it was never intended to cover such heavy topics like it does today. But once I had opened that door it became a really good place for me to project all my struggles with dissociation and past bad relationships with food. But recently my mental health has deteriorated really badly and I had to stop writing more chapters for the fic, chapters 22 - 27 were all pre written so all i had to do was edit them and post them, which was easy enough. But chapter 28 was hardly written at all and 29 + 30 had a lot of extra stuff i had to write, which i managed by only writing small bits at a time and not including any scenes describing Icarus struggling with eating. and then yesterday I got diagnosed with an eating disorder. which is. scary to say the least. especially because i know how much writing this fic had an effect on causing it. i don't want to hate this fic, but at the moment i cannot deal with writing it or i will drive myself to abandon it. which is why chapter 29 + 30 got posted early because i really didn't want it hanging over me for another week.
I'm still gonna write and post fics, but sun/sky will not be updated until i feel secure in my mental state and get a little closer to recovery though i don't know how far away that will be, especially since I thought my mental state was secure before starting to write about those heavier topics but. it clearly wasn't as good as i thought it was. I'm also still going to talk about sun/sky, I have a few little bits to talk about and i'll probably end up doing some art when i inevitably start to miss it. I would also love to answer questions! So please please please always put stuff in my ask box to give me excuses to talk about the fic.
Only thing I will say is DO NOT ask me when sun/sky will be coming back, like previously mentioned i don't know as it entirely depends on my mental state and if you ask me when it'll be back it'll only make me feel pressured to recover faster which will probably make it take longer
I've said it before, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic. There have been some moments where I've felt this fic and the people who are waiting to read it has been keeping me alive. So thank you for caring about this thing that i've created <33
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I had time to read just one chapter but I wanted to make a recap anyway because the next chapter is like 360000 pages long (I may be exaggerating slightly) and I'm not sure if tomorrow I'll be able to update, so we're doing just gideon tonight (I have a feeling she'd love that wording)
previously, in harrowcita del 9:
this happened
CHAPTER 48
gideon tells harrow that she should have probably killed off mercygirl but she wasn't "thinking straight"
when has she, though
she decided to keep going further into the emperor's infested bolthole
she finds a lot of corpses of bees that have been killed already
and thinks harrowcita would have appreciated how bad and nasty everything looked
then follows the corpses and the scent of despair and murder and finds yandere twin at the end of it, standing like a pulp fiction killer
gonna illustrate with a susan denberg movie poster I find appropriate
yandere twin gets emotional and goes "harry, you're—"
to which gideon answers with "Alive, bitch"
gideon says that she "had long since ascended to the rank of double douchbag" which I consider another memorable instance of chad catching strays
and gideon has some Issues to Resolve with yandere twin
and by resolve, I mean fix them with Violence
she starts getting upset at all the things yandere twin did to harrow, which include "faked to your fucking face like she couldn't see a corpse that was obviously there"
I SAID I THOUGHT SHE WAS GASLIGHTING HARROW
gideon is very determined to fix all of this diplomatically
by beating the crap out of her
they start a banter that will be an incredibly entertaining thing to witness for the next pages
I can't make it justice in a recap tbh
I was just basically like
gideon will, in a very persistent way, throughout the conversation, tell yandere twin that harrow will never love her
yandere twin wants to give gideon funny nicknames, like who would do that, that's so disrespectful, I can't even fathom doing that at all
not to gideon, anyway
yandere twin says that mercygirl disappeared, augustine dropped out and gideon the first is trying to handle the stuff on his own, kinda?
she's surprised by the fact that mercygirl tried to kill harrow
"why did you ascend to be a lyctor?" "ultimate power—and posters of my face" "Fair"
they find augustine being useless in a hallway and, when he sees gideon's eyes, he panics and bolts out of there
these lyctors are all a joke istg each and every one of them
except for, I think it was cassiopeia, who had the ceramics collection, she's fine
well no, I don't condone planet murder for ceramics, but she gets a bit more points than the rest for them
there's a lot of talk about buttholes between gideon and yandere twin and I'm not above that, since I've been making bolthole jokes this whole time
gideon is living for the nudes in yandere twin's room
nobody is surprised about that
but there's no time to think about the nudes or buttholes anymore when yandere twin pulls out a harrow letter for gideon
gideon is going through it even before opening it, as are we
she finds her glasses and a note that says
"one flesh, one end"
"Fuck one flesh, one end, harrow" "Because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me. Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night"
always so poetic, ortus can't even get close to this level
gideon keeps telling yandere twin that she has no chance with harrow
"I hated those eyes in her face; I kept expecting to smell hair gel."
chad catching strays at every turn, I live
gideon explains about harrow being in love with ice cube barbie
"I know the signs of Nonagesimitis"
and yandere twin goes "All that fuss about the Saint of Duty. What a little hypocrite"
which I guess is because of the whole gideon the first and not!dulcinea thing? but that's like totally different form whatever this is???
there are layers to the corpse and lyctor relationships, you guys
it's a very wide spectrum
gideon says that her connection to harrow has to do with her being her cav which...ok, gideon
"Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention"
gideon rn:
yandere twin isn't deterred by all of this information and thinks harrow and her have an eternity to bond because they're lyctors
as if they weren't doomed right now but ok girl, go for your dreams, I guess
gideon threatens yandere twin not to be nasty with harrow and to get away from her with her nasty necro ways
yandere twin goes "What can I say, I love a little gall on gall"
which absolutely wins gideon over for a sec
"Reverse everything I just told you. Let's get married"
I knew the horny puns would help them bond
it's the little things sometimes that bring us all together
yandere twin says chad used to say she would "go to hell and get fucked" and you know what, fuck that guy
this is why he's still catching strays on a regular basis 9 months later
yandere twin wants to take gideon to see dr reverent emperor john
gideon goes "No, thanks. I'm good"
that's what I would have said, I approve
but she has no choice, because harrowcita is still gone and whatever's going on is ??????
so, out she goes to follow yandere twin to see this asshat
who maybe will, at the very least, give us a little more info on gideon's demigod status
fingers crossed
hope he dies
And that's it for this update!!! It's a short one but we're moving forward!!!
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Let's try using reading comprehension skills over "gotcha" tactics, ok? And then maybe you'll see why what you said is a blatant misinterpretation of what I said. I know it might be tough, but being a part of the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" population of this website isn't a cute look. You got this!
Anyways! For the rest of y'all! I know people are scared, and when we're scared we want simple, swift solutions. But we have to be vigilant not to fall back on reactionary thinking. The 4B movement reduces the idea of the patriarchy to men vs women, and not a systemic issue that anyone can uphold and fall victim to, regardless of gender. And because of that, they have very strict rules on What Is A Woman and What Is Not. News flash, it's the same transphobia and TERF rhetoric we've been fighting so hard in the states.
There can't be a trans-inclusive version of this movement because to do so, you need hard lines on who's a man and who's a woman. If we're excluding men, that means trans men will either get gendered correctly and marked as the enemy, be misgendered in order to be included, or the language shifts to people with uterus' versus people with penises, which is just extra steps to disguising transphobia/bioessentialism/transmedicalism. And trans women will continue not to be taken seriously and labeled as a threat despite how vulnerable that group already is. There is no safety here. (Note: Going forward I'll be using "men" and "women" moreso in the context the people in the 4B movement do, but again, this goes beyond sex/gender)
You also have to think about what happens next. The, "Then What?". What changes will it bring, how will it end the patriarchy? So you're not interacting with men anymore - To what end? This is a huge problem with certain activist movements, especially in the US, and especially with white people. You have to think it through. What happens to society if you exclude 50% of a population, indiscriminately, over something they have no control over? Probably not good! No not probably, definitely not good! That sounds like the nightmare y'all are trying to avoid! But as an individual, it's easy for these people to say, "too bad! They deserve to suffer!" But that is not a community mindset. Like it or not, we share a planet with men! And if you actually are trying to break free of the punitive system of justice, if you actually want to work towards restorative justice and leave behind the Incarceration State of Mind, then you need to take a step out of your individual point of view and do what's best for the community as a whole. Look out for one another, support the women in your community for sure, that's great! Call out people, yes I said people not just men, for upholding patriotic standards. And this goes for other men too! If you have a shitty misogynist guy friend, they're gonna listen to you before they listen to a woman say the same thing. Sucks to hear, but it's unrealistic to think change is gonna happen overnight, and it definitely isn't gonna happen if he already doesn't respect the people yelling at him about how he's wrong. He has to know he's wrong first. It also means calling out your friends who are dating/married to Republicans/misogynists/racists/homo/transphobs. There's nuance to everything obviously and there's no one right answer on how to approach this, but let your friends know it's fucked up to be with someone who doesn't respect their human rights. Help them out if it's an abusive situation, but if they're just giving them a pass, let them know that shit's disgusting, call them out on hypocrisy, make them actually consider what it means to be with someone like that. Keep each other accountable. It's not your job to fix every fuck ass dude who comes along TO AN EXTENT. And maybe on a personal level, it's not something you're good at/have the capacity for. And that's ok, but as a whole, we can't just give up on men and let them fend for themselves, because someone will find them and radicalize them against women further. That's what's already happening, we can't afford to make it worse!
And I know more blogs like the one above are gonna hit me with different strawmen arguments or take what I say out of context or just completely misrepresent what I've said, so I'll say this. There's nothing wrong with being choosy about who you date/sleep with/marry/have kids with. Be choosy about who you're friends with! In most cases I think it's best to be. But if you think you're gonna avoid toxic relationships, abuse, misogyny, etc by changing your only metric to Women™️, you're gonna fail. Personal choice is one thing, activism is another.
Sorry if this is rambling, but I'm scared, I'm depressed, and I'm pissed off. It hurts to see people I know care about queer people and community building forget the dog whistles and fall into cultish radical groups. Cults and other radical groups wait for a victimized population to be vulnerable and swoop in with a solution dressed up with all the right words to make it seem like it's a good thing for you when it just isn't. Stay safe, stay smart, stay alert. Not all that glitters is gold yada yada yada 🫰🏻
and American women i am being SO serious when i say we need to learn from our South Korean sisters and follow their steps with the 4B movement. the house of representatives, the senate, the supreme court, and the president are ALL red now. if american men want to control our bodies and choices so much then let’s give them HELL!
read about the 4B movement:
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Do you have any head cannons for Yandere! turtles x Reader with mood swings? Mood swings are abrupt changes in mood/emotional state :D
Note: Amazing request, I am a little rusty for writing the turtles since I have not posted about them for a while.. BUT! I will give my all. I'll be doing them individually!
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LEO
- There's two sides to him in this case..
- What I mean is.. when he's feeling up to it, he'll tease you. If anything he could tease you for hours on end. The whole day if he could. Sometimes it goes too far and he'll have to apologize. It's not always easy for him, but he still does it.
- he can be a bit.. much sometimes but when he sees you getting angry or feeling sort of negative emotion, he'll be quick to turn your frown upside down.
- He also finds it funny whenever you could go from being happy to weeping so quickly..
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You were looking at the bowl you dropped onto the floor. The whole day you were acting like clutz.. tripping three times on your way here.. walking into a glass door.. and slipping on some very questionable goo in the sewers, today was just NOT your day..
Before you could blow a fuse, Leo stepped in and hugged you from behind. "Ayy.. Mi Amor, you've been off your game lately, guess I wouldn't mind going out of my way to take of this mess, being the world's best boyfriend and all.. ", he says while nuzzling into the crook of your neck.
"Plus, that bowl was old anyway.. It was bound to break at some point. You were doing us a favor. How bout I clean this up and we can watch that show you like?" He shoos you off to the couch while he cleaned up the mess.
While you watched a movie.. You were crying for while because your favorite character died and proceeded to yell at the the projector while Leo held you back. He loves you to bits.
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RAPH
- I feel like he'd always want you to feel a positive emotion, he'll sorta panic when you feel something negative.. probably start gentle parenting you..
-it annoys you a bit but he really doesn't know what to do that he goes to his default settings.
-would probably panic one time and just hug you very tightly. It surprisingly calmed you down.
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So you got upset at a bad test/quiz you failed that you've studied all night for.. Raph didn't know what to do.. so he sorta.."Y/N I understand you're upset.. how about we start counting to 6, okay..?" He says as he shows you his six fingers. "alright, one.. two three.. breathe in.." (someone tell me I'm funny..)
He gives you a smile and then Practically smothers you with kisses and cuddles.. in his fort of teddy bears!! After a while when you've calmed down, he'll ask if he did a good job.. He loves you to bits.
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DONNIE
- he does try to stay on your good side but most of the time, he's just looking for a fight.
-if you're angry, he'll argue with you, it's a good way to challange himself. He will apologize after.. not verbally.<3
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After a while of hanging out, You were bored and well, Donnie suggested a certain game.. "Y/N, that's not how chess works.." he says while pointing out your move. You glare at him. He was constantly correcting you and every moved he'd say things like.. ",Are you sure?" Or "Yikes.."
Proceed to after a long argument.
It's been a few hours of ignoring him.m a day or two actually and in the late of night, you heard something.. when you turned, you saw your window open and then,
You saw a note saying you weren't entirely wrong. And your newly fixed phone you broke a few days ago. He loves you to bits.
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MIKEY
- He's always in a positive mood so he's a bit surprised but also intrigued? He'd check and know which things trigger you and avoid them.
- you didn't realize but you were always in a positive mood when you were with Mikey.
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You were playing in the arcade with Mikey and you kept losing round after round. After around. "Y/N, are you okay? How about we go play again but then again you might lose again- NO! I mean- let me make you something! Sit down and uhh, I'll be quick to make something! Wait you hate waiting.. I'LL BE QUICK!"
You tugged him closer to you and held him. After a small confrontation about what's going on.. he admitted to not wanting to trigger your negative Emotions.. you explained that it was healthy and normal. he loved you to bits.
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Hope you enjoyed!
Yours truly,
MysticMidnight
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise donnie#rise leo#rise Mikey#rise raph#yandere rottmnt#rise donnie x reader#rise leo x reader#rise mikey x reader#rise raph x reader#Rise Leonardo x reader#Rise Raphael x reader#Rise Donatello x reader#Rise Michelangelo x reader#yandere mikey x reader#yandere leo x reader#yandere donnie x reader#yandere raph x reader
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I wanted to talk about the Black Parade uniforms and it kind of turned into an entire essay. My ideas on the intention behind each costume and their cohesion as a group really evolved over the course of writing this, and I think it brought into focus a lot of things I knew subconsciously but hadn't articulated. I also noticed a lot of details I had never seen before. This has futher convinced me that 1) costume design and what you can say with it is really fascinating and 2) this is S-tier costume design of all time. And it's really long so I'm putting the rest under the cut.
What I would have loved is a Weezer-style picture of the five of them standing side by side, full bodies visible, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to exist. They're either covering each other up, or posed in such a way that details aren't visible or cut is hard to compare, so I'll have to provide a variety of visuals. This weirdly blurry poster is the closest thing I could find to a Weezer picture, so take them in as a group and refer back as necessary. I want to start by saying, obviously, that they look amazing both individually and as a set. "Dark marching band of death" is a really fun concept that is very well executed. But this isn't their first time doing a look as a group - think back to Revenge for a minute, when they really started to think about their costuming as a band. Gerard has talked about how then, they were kind of closing ranks against the vitriol coming their way. They needed to feel like a team, a gang, and dressed like one. I think some of this mentality has carried over into the Black Parade uniforms - they're less defensive, (there's no bulletproof vests), but in taking on new, nameless identities they have removed themselves as individuals from the equation, which is protective in its own way. What's left are stage personas, and the more you look the more you see that these were designed by someone who is very familiar with the history of the band and how each member presents themselves on stage. It's absolutely genius costume design, because when everyone is in uniform, the little differences are more noticable and tell you so much about the intention behind each variation.
Before we really start, I have to confess that I have no history in costuming or even a lot of familiarity with marching or military bands. I can only say I find costuming interesting, so I've read a little about it, and I went to high school in America and almost all my friends were in marching band. Someone who is more educated in these things could probably give more specific insights and have a better vocabulary to talk about it, but do not underestimate me. I am deeply obsessed with MCR and got A's in English, so let's find some meaning in symbolism! But please remember that with all art, there is no one interpretation. And remember going forward that these costumes were designed by Colleen Atwood, based on sketches she was given by Gerard, so there's no telling what elements were brought in by her and what elements Gerard had planned originally. If anyone has sources on that, PLEASE let me know because I'm very curious about the design process.
Also, I'll be using the uniforms as they appear in the WTTBP video as the standard, with acknowledgements toward variations seen in posters and the FLW video. It's worth noting that in many live performances they wore different, less unique jackets, and often forewent the pants for black jeans. This is almost certainly because they were easier to perform in and they didn't want to subject the originals to the sweat and rowdiness of regular shows. Ok, here we go! Here are some pics to refer back to throughout.
Starting with the band as a whole, I want to point out two things: first, marching bands evolved from military bands. The individual costumes vary in how "military" they look, but you can definitely see the influence when you look at them as a set. I imagine they leaned into that a bit because of the military elements on the record - the suggestion in Mama that the patient was a soldier, maybe even a war criminal. We also know they've done military aesthetics before, in The Ghost of You music video, and that the band was formed in response to 9/11. Suffice to say, the military is on the mind, and this is a continuation of that.
They also look a bit like skeletons. Obviously they would occasionally do the face paint, but the uniforms themselves suggest a ribcage with the horizontal silver lines, and at some angles the stripes on the pants also really contribute to the image. I know most people have already realized this, but I wanted to point it out explicitly because it took me an embarassingly long time to see it.
Alright, I'm gonna talk about them individually now, going from my personal least to most favorite. Taste aside, they're all individually really interesting.
5. Bob
(I can't find another good Bob picture, just scroll up to the blurry one)
It's not just because I don't like Bob, I genuinely like this one much less than all the others. It might be because it's less tailored - the others look much sharper, he looks almost rumpled in comparison. The lose fit might be because as a drummer, he needed better range of movement, but I'm not a drummer so I don't know. The cut of his jacket looks kind of naval to me, which is interesting. His stripes are also very minimal compared to the others. Overall, his looks the least like it's part of a set. I don't necessarily think they meant to set him apart, but maybe they did, considering he's the only non-original member (I'm counting Frank as an original member) and the only one not from New Jersey (which, I only point out because they ALWAYS point that out to people who mention they're a Jersey band. We're from Jersey, Bob is from Chicago.) Maybe it was a subconscious thing, or maybe as the drummer his costume was designed to make the most of what would be visible sitting and partially obscured by the drum kit. It does have a very dramatic collar. That's probably also part of the reason they gave him a more distinctive haircut for this - I'm not gonna talk about hair much, but it's worth mentioning. Overall, I don't have a ton to say about Bob because I don't think of him much (sorry, but not really).
4. Frank
Frank's is really interesting. His is the least traditional-looking, which is why it's here in the ranking, but I like it and I think there's a good reason for that. Those stripes on the sleeve are a really strong look, and the material of the silver has kind of a tarnished/dappled look you can see better in other photos. I've seen people say it's a subtle camo pattern, but I'm honestly not sure - I think he's supposed to look a little less new and shiny. The blockiness of it widens him and gives him a lot of presence that might be lost if he was dressed more like the others, and it compliments his performance style well. That's particularly important in the WTTBP video - on that float, he simply doesn't have room to be as wild and energetic as his standard performance was at the time, so this uniform helps him stand out and draw attention to what thrashing he is able to do. As far as bucking tradition, he also is the only one without shoulder tabs (those little loops). There's something funny about that - those tabs are meant to hold loops and eupalletes that would signify rank, placement, or achievement, which apparently you could not give to Frank if you tried. I think this lack of traditionality is reflective of Frank's more punk sensibilities, having come up in the Jersey scene. His playing style evolved over time as he and Ray influenced each other, but at the start he was very much their punk guitarist and coming up in that scene continued to influence how he conducted himself as a musician. I think this uniform marks him as a non-conformist even within the group.
He also has that patch with a red cross on the sleeve, the only bit of color on any of them. I don't know what to make of that, maybe it's just for the Catholic vibes.
Honestly, Frank's feels the most like what people would expect from an "emo" marching band uniform. Especially considering the poster, where he's found a hole to stick his thumb through. I don't think he's wearing it in the video, but in that poster he has this belt with some kind of weapon?? Maybe?? We get it, he's a dangerous little man.
3. Mikey
Mikey's uniform is by far the most military - it's not just the medal, it's also the cut of the jacket. And he's the only one with a fun little belt, which helps keep the silhouette look nice and tailored even though the jacket flares a little at the waist. We all know the medal is a reference to his death in The Ghost of You video (there's no way they didn't know we would make that connection) and it wouldn't surprise me if the rest of his uniform looks more military because it was built around that idea. But also consider Mikey's stage presence at the time - due to his discomfort on stage, he used to be really stoic, standing in the back, getting the job done with little showmanship. I think that presentation lends itself well to a classic military figure. Mikey is also pretty thin, and the long jacket and it's strong, solid construction keeps him from looking too Victorian-orphan waifish (especially with how pale they all are), and more like a dead soldier boy.
Additionally, Mikey's costume leaning so hard into the military side helps them look more military as a group. It keeps the association in your mind when you look at the others. Also, he's wearing a little necklace here, which I've never noticed before, is he wearing that in the videos?? I think it's an anchor, which is fun considering he died on a beach.
2. Gerard
Yes, Gerard's is #2 in my ranking. I'm sorry, I might have a slight bias knocking it down from #1. But maybe not, let me defend myself when I get there. Anyway, Gerard's is the most classically marching band, which makes sense considering he's the frontperson. In fact, he has one of those braided loops on his shoulder we talked about earlier, demonstrating.....something, it seems to vary a lot, but we're probably meant to think leadership. He's not wearing it the WTTBP video, but it's there in Famous Last Words. He also has that fancy little star thing on the shoulder, which definitely seems to suggest rank. Otherwise, his uniform is very basic. He's the template that the others' uniforms are variations of. And it's a great look! He's also got nice big buttons compared to the others, three whole rows of them, which is a nice touch to make it look a liiiiittle more feminine. Because, of course, the back of the jacket is corseted, in a genious stroke of gender that puts the entire outfit in a new context. I think this is a good example of how Gerard likes to play with androgony by balancing masc and femme elements. The cut of his jacket makes his shoulders look wide and his waist narrow, but not so narrow it looks terribly feminine (just a little, taken on its own). A lot of this is achieved by the piping - notice how on Bob, Mikey, and Frank, the top row of piping (I might be using that word wrong but let's go with it. I'm talking about the silver stuff across the chest) is pretty much the same length as the bottom row? On Gerard, they start out wide way up on his shoulders and get progressively narrower at the waist. It's still a mostly masculine silhouette, but then you have the counter balance of the big buttons and his little white pixie cut, both of which lean just a little further toward femme than masc. It's an androgynous look that leans toward masc as a whole, until he turns around and, boom, corseted back. Showstopping. He also had those black leather gloves that give some nice formality, and maybe a touch of impersonality. They make it so that when he's in full uniform, the only skin you can see is that of his face. They're like an edgier version of the usual plain white marching band gloves.
1. Ray
Going purely by aesthetics, Ray's is my favorite. It's the fancy one, most obviously distinct by the flourishes around the buttons on his jacket. He Mikey are the only ones with pure silver shoulder loops, and Ray has more silver piping on his jacket than the others. In some pictures he's wearing this really ornate knotted tassle thing? You can see it in one of the group pictures above. He isn't wearing it in any of the videos, which makes sense as it could be really annoying while playing. The cut of his jacket at the bottom also looks formal to me, but I'm not sure why. Overall, the ornanamentation could be a reflection of his playing style - the same caveat here applies to Frank, in that they influenced each other through their parnership as guitarists, (and Ray has a lot of influences from different genres), but at the start he was their metal guitarist, and the guitars in metal are often complicated and showy. And he's their soloist, they need to show him off a little.
Additionally, the construction here is giving him an absolutely wild silohette. Like Gerard, the piping on his jacket gets progressively narrower to suggest a smaller waist, but without the really long stripes at the top to make the shoulders look broader. Those vertical lines across the front add to the effect because they're curved inward - which is interesting, because everyone else's uniforms are composed of entirely straight lines and sharp angles. And his jacket is cut REALLY high on the side. I can't tell if Ray's pants are more high-waisted than the others, or if it just looks that way because of the cut of the jacket. You see the stripe of the pants go all the way up his hip, and since he's already tall with long legs, it really accentuates that. It's hard to tell, but I think his pants are even a little more form-fitting than the others. The other day I saw people commenting on a gif of Ray in the WTTBP video about how they never noticed how long his legs are - this is why!
We talk about how part of what makes Ray such a compelling performer is how he moves, and I think this costume was designed to compliment fluid motion. The tailoring and curves of the piping avoid making him look too rigid or blocky, as a marching band uniform could easily do, and the high cut of the jacket lets the line of his legs continue uninterrupted. Honestly, this is a favorite look for Raygirls (gender neutral) for a reason - I think they knew exactly what they were doing putting him in a pretty, well-tailored uniform that accentuates his movement. (Caveat here that I'm a Raygirl (gn) so I'm definitely biased, and they all look great in their uniforms, but I do think Ray's is.....uniquely flattering, and I don't think it was an accident).
Conclusions
So now that we've talked about all of them, I think we have some interesting contrasts to make. Gerard and Mikey both have very classic looks, but Gerard's is more marching band and Mikey's is more military. Mikey and Bob both have very military looks, but Mikey's has a much more solid construction. Gerard and Ray are both on the marching band side of the spectrum, but Gerard's is classic while Ray's is ornate. My favorite contrast is between the guitarists - Frank's is blocky and rigid and tarnished, Ray's is curved and fluid and shiny.
The interplay between similarity and contrast is what makes this so compelling as a group costume - just by looking you can tell who's the leader, who's the tragic figure, who's the outcast, who's the rebel, who's being spotlit.
In closing, thank you Colleen Atwood and Gerard Way for designing these and the rest of the band for wearing them, I will never get tired of looking at them.
#mcr#my chemical romance#the black parade#will probably come back and edit in more pics im out of time rn#gerard way#ray toro#frank iero#mikey way#bob bryar#i guess#see how many times i can misspell silohette#to some extent idk if anyone reads this cause its nice to have my thoughts organized but also if im nerdy enough to write it surely#some people will be nerdy enough to want to read it#*idc not idk
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Oh my gosh whyyyy am I so obsessed with numbers I don't like it at all this is driving me INSANEEEE😭😭IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS THE DAYS GO BY AAAA
#IT'S SO WEIRD I HATE IT I HATE IT SO FCKING MUCH#I've had this weird relationship with numbers for years but it's gotten so much worse#I'm so obsessed with even numbers and odd numbers likeeee#I have even days and odd days?? that's what I call them anyways#where on even days everything has to involve even numbers and on odd days everything has to involve odd numbers#like those are my safe numbers for those days#and if I use the wrong number on the wrong day something bad will happen so I have to.I guess?? neutralize it?? somehow..#usually I figure out how in the moment but other times I just panic#likee for example today's an (I'm assuming) even day right now. so I have to have my tv volume on an even number#I have to eat an even number of food today#I CANNOT rb something on tumblr if I'm not on an even numbered reblog or I'm not an even numbered note... that makes no sense lemme explain#so I always have to like posts I reblog it's a rule I have for some reason. so in order for me to reblog a post#I have to land on an even number when I rb it#so for example if a post has 172 notes I'll like it which'll give it 173 notes then I'll rb which'll give it 174 notes#but if the post already has 173 notes before I liked it then I'll just like and not rb bcz if I rb it'll be 175 notes#which lands on an odd number and ahasbdhfbdsfaedw#it's the same for odd days just vice versa (it'd have to be on 177 though bcz 5 is an unsafe number for me rn)#YEAH 100% unsafe numbers for me are 3 5 6 and 9 and any number involving those numbers (so 26 and 13 are still unsafe)#basically no matter if it's an even day or an odd day I cannot land on anything with those numbers#and if I don't follow these rules my brain made up then something awful will happen or my day will go bad#or something I wanna do won't go well#thess numbers apply to EVERYTHING. and and it's SO ANNOYINGGGG. I've been trying to ignore it but it's getting harder and harder HELPPSADNF#I tried to tell my mom abt it but she just says “oh your grandma's also like that. you probably got it from her”#THANKS GRANDMA FOR THE NUMBER OBSESSION :'D#vent
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