#which is not great lol but an improvement
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related to last reblog: Maizuru going from addressing Senshi as “dwarf” to calling him by his name
#she also calls Holm ‘gnome’ after mistaking him as a dwarf and he corrects her#which is not great lol but an improvement#dungeon meshi#senshi of izganda#maizuru
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And everyone gasped
(no one was surprised, not even a little)
#would you be surprised if i told you this is actually the first time Ashton has been my Top Artist?#I've had Spotify for 6 years and 5sos has never not been No 1! it's the upset of the century !#(it's actually just that they simply didn't have a major release this year lol but still 😌)#also LastFM claims my No 5 song is actually Endless Wave so what is the truth#they also claim Sabrina and Fleetwood Mac should be flipped#so clearly the two services count plays different but still I like the ✨ drama ✨#i know Spotify has stated they alter the rankings for the Top 100 playlist but the Top 5 is supposed to be your actual stats 🤷🏻♀️#anyways#music is fun!#in the 'music evolution' section Spotify said said my February was witchy and Beatlesque#and I must demand to only ever be referred to by those two adjectives thanks#what other fun stats are there#I had just about 2k more minutes this year than last so yay for mental health improvement#(tho still not doing great apparently bc there was only a 4 min diff between this year and 2022 lmao)#believe it or not this is actually Taylor's best showing in my Wrapped (but then again she did release a 31 song album lmaoooo)#like I said Luke was No 7 according to LastFM with Garden Life his top ranked song#tied at No 13 with Wicked Habit by Ash and Midnight Cowboy by Jade#Spotify claims I was in the top 0.05% of Breakup listeners which is a real girl get a grip moment for me ngl#my Top 5sos song was still Caramel lmao#i have been tagging this for like 20 mins i need to leave ok bye#spotify wrapped 2024#personal
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watching cdramas with french subtitles is the best idea i ever had. if the show is in a language i don't speak i'm already going to have to be closely reading the subtitles, so why not also use it as language practice? the subs go by so fast i don't have time to translate them internally into english, i just have to absorb the meaning without doing that (which is how it's supposed to work but i've never been fully able to do that before). AND the best part is that when i'm going about my day i'm finding that some of my internal monologue is just in french now?? i think it's because subs are almost entirely dialogue...i'm getting hours of dialogue practice without actually having to converse. it's also fun with cdramas specifically because i have by now picked up some chinese vocabulary from watching tv and i get to see how that vocabulary is translated into french. idk man i'm just having a great time.
#i used to watch stuff in english with french subtitles but it's just not the same#maybe it would be more interesting now that i'm better at french but idk it didn't really do much for me#because i'd mostly be understanding via the english i was hearing and didn't have to rely on the french for much#but with chinese there are only like. 20 sentences you could say that i wouldn't need a translation for#anything other than that and i have to rely on the subtitles#so i have to comprehend the french or i won't know what's happening at all#the other great thing about this method of improving comprehension is you can rewind!!!#you can pause. you can repeat it if necessary. you can theoretically do that in real conversations but watch out#so like. when i'm just reading a novel i can read at any old pace. and in fact since i always read aloud i can only read at#the speed at which i can speak french. which is faster than it used to be but still not as fast as i can read silently#but reading subs forces you to read pretty fast. which is good practice. and then whenever you miss something you still have#the option to back up#my posts#french#subtitles#f#i always have subtitles on even when it's english subs for oral english#but in that case the subs are an aid and i'm mostly comprehending by listening#auditory processing is easier with hints lol#so it's usually possible for me to say chop vegetables or something while watching english-language media#because i'll just look up when i need help understanding something. but i'm not reading all the subs#not the case for a show in any other language. if i'm going to watch a show in chinese i have to sit down and concentrate#if i'm already concentrating and reading all the subs might as well make some progress
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I'd like to bring some appreciation to those people in the undertale modding community who have the patience to add new rooms to the game. Because in preperation for adding the first new NPC to my mod, I'm adding some new rooms to the game. And I thought it'd be easy but OH-HO-HO! Was I wrong! Because every tile EVERY TILE Has to be placed...
ONE BY ONE!
Starting from the TOP corner EVERY TIME! INCLUDING ON MULTIPLE LAYERS MAN IS THAT A PATIENCE TESTER OR WHAT- And GET THIS!
The tile layers? they ARENT tile layers! They're ASSET layers that happen to hold tiles!
the ACTUAL tile layers dont even work!
Make no mistake though, once you know what you're doing it's well worth it. So yeah, prey I dont lose my head over this LOL
#undertale yellow#uty#undertale au#undertale#uty mod#haha i just wanted to complain i guess#progress on snowdin is happening#i havent finished Elsie's sprites yet...#...but i have a stamp for her letters#which yeah#she sends letters#modding is fun#difficult at times#but fun#anything i learn while modding could possibly be translated to Game Maker itself too#so thats something#i usually use godot but learning game maker because of this is great too#always great to have options#Doing this might even help me improve upon my “skills” designing environments#or lack there of LOL#i'm bad at environments rn#but i'll work on improving#here i go rambling in the tags again
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it's occurring to me that I might hate my art slightly less if I used brush stabilization literally at all
#my current method is use the 'wobbly' brushes I've made for sketching and the stabilized brushes for lineart#which would be a great method if i lined things literally ever#maybe i should switch to using the wobbly brush just for warmups#(cause it does feel oddly freeing to use it)#(to just be like okay here's my shitty lines deal with it)#and then use something with a touch of stabilization for sketching#idk i might just have to accept that since I have fine motor issues I'm never going to be Skilled at drawing in that way#and i should focus on the parts of it i Can improve#instead of just getting discouraged and hardly ever drawing (which is sort of antithetical to improvement lol)
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watching everyone compliment my mom on facebook and say how much of a gift she has working with children like she didn’t destroy my childhood and quite literally ruin my adolescence and any chance at a healthy attachment style:
#guys she is nottttt who we think lol#she may have improved and gotten better which is great but#that doesn’t erase that she was a piece of fucking shit to me#anyways lol#personal
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she’s actually like, not even in the least favourites atm??
#she hasn't tried to eat any chickens#AND she doesn't piss on the floor in the cat room unlike budgie#so she's like solidly in the middle#which is a big improvement from dead last#she also has remarkable recall and hasn't yelled at any men recently#great job mil#only took 7 years to get here#as i type this budge has just jumped up for a really cute cuddle#which gives me the guilts LOL#maybe miller still is second last#miller#dogs
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I will never get over how well a spiked collar fits his design so here’s this, anyways it’s 4am I should probably sleep
#sorry can I just gush about how much I love this particular drawing?#I did the thing where you darkened the background and it did WONDERS to my colour theory#like I am so in love with the way I did the colours for this#and I was hyped like the whole time lol#I also played around with effects and stuff which I usually enjoy doing but it turned out great this time#improving my art is so exciting lmao#hades game#zagreus#hades fanart#my art
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oh tws hanjin (their chinese member) said he got into kpop bc of cha eunwoo and svt and that watching jun and minghao is what inspired him to actually want to be an idol himself 🥺
#honestly as far as chinese kpop idols go junhao have done very well for themselves...#a big part of that is svts close relationship#but also pledis has done a better job than a lot of companies about balancing junhaos chinese and kr schedules over the years#which i honestly think says more about most companies mistreatment of their cn idols than it does like pledis being great#bc there are definitely improvements pledis can make in that department lol#BUT what i was going to say is i hope hanjin does well in his kpop career and that junhao can give him advice about being a cn kpop idol <3#and i hope pledis doesnt drop the ball on him#melia.txt
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Not getting any younger and I can’t help but to feel like life is meaningless (for me at least). Feels like I’ve been stuck in a rut for nearly 10 years tbh and nothing’s changed lol
#txt#not sure what I can do to improve things for myself 🫠#there’s no community for me anywhere lol#and I find it difficult to make and keep friends lol#which is partly my fault probably#and like I do want to find someone and get married#but that is particularly hard when I’m always very uncomfortable around men in general 🙃#and honestly most men I’ve met has not been so great lol
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This is frankly a silly amount of ribbons to be given when you haven't earned them. I do think it's weird that conformation shows still give you ribbons when you're the only dog of your breed to show up. Is he the Best of Breed or is he Only of Breed.
#no love in group but Arthur showed well for a puppy at his second show#I'm ... a bad handler lol. But it was my second ever show too so we will both improve#Arthur's breeder had a friend of hers take a look at him and he said he IS a quality puppy#They're a very hard breed to show and the smart thing is to give him to a pro handler but NO I'm not sending my dog away#I'd rather neuter him than not handle him myself. I got him for ME to show#Anyway the first group judge was really impatient and I don't think she liked him#Second group judge we think did actually consider him for BPIG because he kept looking back at him even when other puppies were going around#so maybe he would have been second choice?#Anywho he we got to go in the ring 6 times which was great experience for us
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ONE MORE CURIOSITY POLL!
#bonus points please tell me which ones (if you have any)#i have Apple for the overflux and the griffin skin#i hate the pet skins bc i have visibility disabled (that's why i made that poll earlier lol) but i love that this one changes other mobs#DEEPLY considered the warden helmet skin but. i dont even have a warden helmet 😭#i dont buy them often bc 1) i rarely like them and 2) im trying to be a responsibly adult#but it turns out. spending money on things you like does improve your mood slightly#even if it is literally useless#having cash is great i love you job. plus i like my job yippee#chat#sb#i never used polls much even tho i promised i would so you're getting poll blasted#got boring watching all mine be 90% ''see results'' so the simple solution is. if you dont play skyblock you have no voting rights 😁
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i also got a sewing machine i have entirely less, closer to none really, experience w sewing as compared to drawing/painting.. but its time i shall learn !
#🍒#first i gotta patch up the holes in my socks lol#then maybe i can work up to relining my faux fur coat.. the pockets are ripped to hell and back.....#im so excited though i will be able to wear clothes i like ! that are what i want no Buts Ifs or Whats besides my skill which will improve!#a great christmas for creative me#i got a lot of stuff that i wanted..... i am very grateful.... and the best way to show that is to employ/use the shit i got...
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Ok there r some pretty big things I wanna fix with the first chapter of ITNL, but I don't rly have the brain for that. Putting it on the backburner.
Might fuck around with chapter 2 tho. Just maybe.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#desperately need a revamp for chapter 1 bc it's good at its core but it was also written and posted all in one day#and U can tell. a lot of early itnl was like that.#man at this rate im treating the fic as a whole like a WIP chapter#aka im going to be going thru it all and doing incremental changes and touch ups#all in this separate doc. current version of itnl will remain until i have it all smoothed out#ill let u guys know when i actually get around to doing the mass edit changes#again im not changing the overall structure of the story. just addressing some internal inconsistencies#and canon innacuracies#so like itnl is good as it is but im going to make it Better.#the perfectionist in me is showing its colors lol. but 75k isnt that big of a deal to edit tbh#especially since everything's already passed the general grammar and wording edits#taking things from passable to Great#yes this is making itnl 15 take longer than otherwise. but i think itll be worth it.#given that ive recently reread trimax in its entirety#there are a lot of things i remember better. so a lot of things to fix with itnl.#plus im in a better state of mind to dig my fingers into the grit of it and write things Well#getting back into the ITNL story by improving it so that it's the best it can be.#which will get me back into the groove of it. so when it comes time to write itnl 15#im going to be a well-oiled machine. and i can churn out something that does the chapter justice.#this is a major turning point of the story. i Have to do it justice.#all i ask is that readers be patient. xoxoxo love y'all
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no, More active effort, More conscious consideration
#boo we HATE your [the implicit perspective that anything taking less effort / less thought is Good / an Improvement]#and it's like Getting Good at anything. Some element does become easier to navigate successfully?#great so now you can forever move on to devoting more conscious effort to Another element / really further evolutions of the same process#build on whatever understanding. if you realize something you thought was Correct seems not to be?#congratulations: it was inaccurate / too limited all along but now You know that. Better#thinking about [effort] thinking about [communication] means emitting a psychic blast doing all the Languaging of honing ideas#and b/c interactions are two way streets you get no guarantee anyone will listen / put effort into considering what they're picking up#it's a delight when someone Does happen to feel you're worth effort but everyone could be doing that on principle. they are not lol.#some actually not [jfc] comment on an akd interview like#they speak w/such precision they're used to not being listened to or understood like#well we'd have to ask them ofc but i won't even argue w/that concept lol#having One Chance To Get A Word In Ever like but you don't really when ppl misunderstand you which is an inevitability#and then made more likely by any number of factors. including not considering you worth the effort of Trying to understand#if they misinterpreted what you're conveying no they didn't; that's just What You Meant. double empathy style#gotta be out here figuring out The Approach when the outlier is ppl who do Not [only think you're worth effort as An Obstacle]#alleging how when you like urself you will now Earn Friends like the more i respect myself the more idc if i'm Interpersonally Beliked#the interpersonal relationship that Is guaranteed relevant of ''we're both people in the world & so already in relation in just that way''#i love to Socialize by being in public ''alone'' like clearly no i'm not & like getting to take up my bit of space / do my bit of a thing#while this fits into everyone else also having their presence; doing their thing; is >>>>> being with a group as its nth wheel for no reaso#the effort of what communication works w/what person in what situation#the effort of what navigation of the inherent mutual effect of your sharing [whatever System (like; physics style)] works out best / better#when ppl imagining this are still limiting it to Certain Interactions b/w everyone anytime as the ''ideal''....#sesame street was out here like. sometimes there's people wanting to be alone / who are ''unfriendly'' & they're still part of things#once again it's like kermit thee frog knows what's up. mister macabee old timey barkeep what should i do#furiosa as well lmao i should watch fury road again. i can sense it#you can't have much of a chitchat with her. and yet
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i am getting paid very little to sub but i very much do care about whats going on with these kids and i wanna leave them all with something good
#i wanna do more research into stuff im bad at but i also am paid SO VERY LITTLE#jordan talks#even if i become a teacher like ill still not be paid a ton#but rn its like basically 11$/hour which is …….. not great haha#and i wanna improve the sub program so bad#like give us some extra paid trainings so we arent fucking up the kids#also rip to the school system in this state i know it is kind of horrible#i want there to be more engagement with the kids of color!#and i dread when our conservative government starts trying to band books n shit like in florida#i know they have tried it in my hometown in another state#and i know they already passed that bill banning trans girls from girls sports#even when we fought SO HARD against it#hhh#i did at one point think about running for school board when i got older bc#the candidates Suck#anyway#i do like it it does feel fulfilling i love being able to tell my bf about all the silly things the kids did when i get home#i am still not sure what grade levels id prefer#high school gets up way to early but i might consider it if i can skip having a first period lmfao#I do love little kids in elementary but it is so difficult to get them to listen lol#middle school is like a good compromise but they are also . going through such a weird and rough time in their lives#elementary school teachers should be millionaires
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