#not sure what I can do to improve things for myself 🫠
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Not getting any younger and I can’t help but to feel like life is meaningless (for me at least). Feels like I’ve been stuck in a rut for nearly 10 years tbh and nothing’s changed lol
#txt#not sure what I can do to improve things for myself 🫠#there’s no community for me anywhere lol#and I find it difficult to make and keep friends lol#which is partly my fault probably#and like I do want to find someone and get married#but that is particularly hard when I’m always very uncomfortable around men in general 🙃#and honestly most men I’ve met has not been so great lol
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how do you find the motivation to write stuff, cus when my alarm to remind myself to write i just stand there like: 🧍♀️🫠
trust that i definitely struggle with this too. motivation comes in waves. sometimes i can't figure out if i want to write or not (or certain characters just don't want to be written).
a lot of the time, art block means that you're improving. you're noticing what you want to change about your art. and other times, you just aren't feeling good, or don't know where to start! whatever the reason is, it's not a bad thing, per say, that it's blocking you.
the best way to find motivation is to let your subconscious work on it for a little while and do something fun or creative in another way (like going to go get ice cream with friends, or drawing, or dancing, etc).
and always try to sit down to write. don't put any pressure on yourself. if you manage to get 500 words, that's awesome! if you manage to get 200, that's still awesome!! whether it's 0 or 2000, you're still technically working on your project.
putting yourself to a standard that you can't reach is gonna kill your motivation and your love for what you're doing. you gotta know what you can handle!! if you can write 500 words per day, or if you write 500 words per month, that's still you creating your art.
make sure you've got energy, that you're taking mental breaks, all that. write down what you've got even if you think it's so bad it should be thrown into the Mariana Trench and never see the sun again. you'll be able to come back to it with fresh eyes when you're feeling better!
overall: don't let yourself or anyone else take the fun out of your writing, and take care of yourself :)
#erinwantstowrite#writing#writing advice#writing blog#writing is supposed to be fun!#if you're stressing yourself out about it take a step back#sometimes working on a different project than what you planned to for that day helps to#or rereading what you had and annotating#i like to do that#it helps me stay in the mindset of my characters
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Thank you sooo much for the bigger don’t🥰
Why are this man‘s pores always clogged🫠 His make-up artist uses sooo much bronzer. Every damn time… honey it‘s ok to look like a ghost. He needs someone new and a good stylist
You’re welcome 💕. I try to pay as much attention to the comfort of people who read my blog. When you spend so much time looking at content, like reading fanfiction, it’s important that things are comfy for your eyes to see ! 😅. Like even when I started writing, I presented the text (namely dialogues) differently because it was how I was used to it but I realized it’s probably not super easy on the eyes of the readers, so I try to do my best to be mindful ✨.
That being said, options are sometimes limited for bloggers/content creators because of how the platforms are made and we can’t realistically accommodate everyone’s comfort or preferences 😅. So I feel compelled to inform you that there are plug-ins you can use on your browsers, as well as accessibility options. It can make your experience as a user/reader more agreeable. Just so you know 👀. And I firmly believe that no blog or app is worth getting headaches, so don’t hesitate to improve your own online experience (sharing this tip as a chronically online person - mainly for professional purposes).
As for this man’s pores/skin/makeup… idk what to tell you. Sometimes, I tell myself the same thing. « That MUA could have done a better job » or something. And I’m sure it’s sometimes true but I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing he man up close and in the flesh, so who knows ? Maybe they’re doing their best ? Sometimes, even with good artistry skills and great products, there is only so much you can do with the canvas you’re working on.
Which brings me to my point of : as fine as he is for his age, let’s not forget that he is a 52 year-old white male with a past of substance abuse. Aka a person who fits the general description of being likely to age like milk 🤣. Just joking, don’t come at me. But I genuinely feel like it’s a lottery and some people avec more luck than others. Even with an access to good treatments and skincare, some people just aren’t blessed and there’s only so much you can do 😔 (I should know, sadly - being white and having shitty genetics, I will be aging like milk, when it comes to how my skin looks at least, in spite of doing my best).
I also think the way it comes out in pictures also depends on the camera/lighting/post treatment… as someone who did their fair share of visual content production back in the day, I can tell you that it has a huge impact too 🤣. And based on the ton of content we’ve gotten in the past months, you can tell his face and skin definitely look different depending on lighting, treatment, etc. Just look at pics/vids taken at the same event by different people and you will see it is sometimes shocking.
As for him needing a new stylist… I think y’all know what I think. 🤣 I could create a whole blog dedicated to my takes on his wardrobe and style evolution. But seeing as I’m already choosing to write corny fanfics, I think it would be too much 🤣.
I still think he is incredibly handsome and charismatic though ✨.
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I've been thinking about this a lot and have ranted to a friend to varying degrees about it every once in a while since early this year.
On one hand, I don't want to sound ungrateful when I talk about this, but...
I feel like being in a fandom has ruined me.
Or to put it better, I've let it ruin me.
And to clarify, I don't blame individuals of a fandom.
Nor do I really blame the idea of fandom itself the more I think about it.
It is most definitely a me thing, but being in a fandon has definitely helped to shed some light on some upsetting things about my brain.
Being in an environment where you get to share ideas and art about your favorite media- Something that's supposed to be for fun and to find community with others who share your interest!
For me, it's been a huge motivator for getting back into my art- which I believe I've mentioned before.
Up until the twomp Fandom, I've had lots of difficulties staying inspired and motivated to keep doing art regardless of how much I wanted to do it.
So finding a reason to do it again has been great!
I've been able to make pretty good improvements in my art abilities which is really nice!
But on the other end of things, I've lost the ability to just appreciate things the way I could if I was just an outsider looking in?
And I hate it because for whatever reason, my anxiety looks at fandom art as competition rather than something a fellow [insert interest] enjoyer put out for me to enjoy along with the rest of fandom.
I hate that mindset so much.
I don't want fandom to be a competition.
I don't think fandom should be a competition.
Inspiration to improve is one thing, but there's something very wrong if you're feeling a sense of threat in some way??? Like hello??? Are you okay???
It's ridiculous!
But anxiety likes to tell me I need to constantly be creating and making sure it's "original" or "unique" or else my value as a "creator" is worth nothing.
Which, again, is also ridiculous, because I'm not out here trying to "become something", I just want to have fun sharing my dumbass AUs and headcannons cause I want to have fun with the characters and the world I fell in love with!
But it doesn't stop the rancid pattern of thinking.
No matter how many breaks I take, I can come back feeling refreshed but the grasping hands of anxiety and shaky self worth tell me I need to constantly be working to maintain a semblance of value.
I need to work to "keep my place".
And that's dumb.
A fandom is a little neighborhood where everyone has their own little house and their own little garden tucked safely behind their own little white picket fence.
We're not being lined up and graded like slabs of beef.
I'm so tired man. I just want to have fun, but as time goes on I feel like the only solution to this issue is to leave the Fandom environment entirely.
Like No Face from Spirited Away.
But if I lose the "pressure" of needing to create art than I'm scared i'll fall back into not being able to create at all again.
I dont want to lose what I feel like I only just got back.
🫠
It feels super embarrassing to be struggling with these kinds of thoughts personally.
Cause it's like, "bro, who tf you think you are???"
There's so much of it that feels self centered, like it's all about me.
I need to be the best, I need to have coolest art and the best ideas!!!
I don't think that at all, granted. But it feels that way sometimes.
I don't like the idea of comparing myself to others. I don't think anyone should be doing that.
Comparison is the joy killer!!!
I much prefer the variety that a fandom brings to the table.
Each individual with an individual take on a world and its characters.
Everyone is so creative it's really Cool!!
I think it's fun to read and to see people bring that to life!
But I can't fully enjoy it like I want to cause the thoughts always be like,
"Why can't you be like that, huh?
You could be doing something with your time right now, you could be working in that idea you were thinking of.
You could be finishing that drawing you started.
What about that other thing you said you were going to do, huh?"
And if I get working on something, it's still not good enough,
"No! Not like that! Your art style is DISGUSTING. Throw that one away!
No No, any readers who stumble on this will never enjoy this. It's awkward and stilted.
Take it again or leave it!"
Like bro please, give a bug a break. I'm trying. 😰
#vbeau rambles#vent#you may ignore#might delete later#it feels whiny lmaoo#but like man#its constantly on my mind#and i dunno how to break the cycle#i want to be freeEEEE
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oh i am SO on this. 13 (i'd love to know what character you most want to write for in the future!), 14 and 15 :D
13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day? I'd love to write some Game of Thrones stuff one day (Sandor Clegane or Bronn, probably) but god that's a fucking undertaking. Good news is it'll be a sensible 15.6 years before I can reasonably start another new thing so it gives me time to have a think 🫠
Doesn't help that the idea I have for a Bronn fic is one I'm not even sure I came up with - I have a hunch what I'm the idea I'm thinking of is actually a memory of a Bronn fic I read years ago as a teen, so I'd need to comb through EVERYTHING I can find to make sure that's not the case before I begin, because I refuse to begin without doing that, and even then if I found nothing I'd be worried that I just missed whatever story the idea came from, and uhhhh fuck that. But it's good to have something holding me back from my Fic Aquirement Sickness 😭
I'd also love to write a Phantom of the Opera fic one day. I doubt I could bring anything original to the fandom but I mean, I have the same fear with the Dracula fic and folk are still enjoying it for what it is!
14. Is there a character or ship you were so sure you would never write/draw but now you've changed your mind? It wasn't that long ago on this blog where I was furiously insisting to people that I would never write a Boromir fic, I wouldn't put the stress of tackling Tolkien upon myself, it was too much to attempt, there was no chance.
Anyway, HWFG just cleared the 120k word mark 🤡 (and I'm very grateful to the people who talked me into it!!)
There are other smaller fandoms that I always thought I'd never bother with just because they're so small that I didn't think anybody would read them, but you guys are proving that fear wrong and making my day CONSTANTLY with your willingness to follow me into some truly random bs 💜💜💜💜💜
15. Have you noticed your style change over time?
Absolutely!! Little By Little is my oldest fic that I don't hate, and even then the growing pains within that make me cringe a little (CTW followed it, and that's the earliest one that I still like! It marked the end of me finishing a project and immediately hating it) -- the early chapters in particular are plagued by way too much introspection (listen, I'm an overthinker, I have no concept of how much thinking is too much thinking in general).
It does also change between projects, though, I think, because I try to match the "tone" of the source material to some extent.
I also think it's really cool because most of LBL was written when I began writing daily as a rule, and that's when you really see quick and substantial improvements in my ability, so it's been a great way to measure it all!
Novel work is trickier because I get so nervous when I write it that it impacts the quality, so it's less of a linear thing and more dependent on how I feel on any given day. It's wild going back to chapters I wrote when I was worried about it and editing it from a calm mindset so that it's actually good. That whole process is most of why it's taking me so long 💀. When I finished my first draft and went back to the beginning to read (it was all done by hand, so it was a long time after I'd written the first chapter) I noticed that the first chapter was so bad and then suddenly it just? Got decent? When I found my rhythm and got over the nerves, mostly? That was a nice moment. I promptly worried the pal I was living with at the time by walking laps around her living room because I couldn't believe that it was good and I was too excited to sit down. Good times 😭
Thank you!!! 💜
Fanfic ask game
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Hihi, Jade! Hope you’ve been well and are doing good hehe
I started learning the pre-chorus + chorus to Like Crazy and when I tell you it’s groovy as shit. Like damn. Though, if this doesn’t improve my hip-control, I genuinely have no idea what will 🤡
On another note, I’m meeting up with one of my friends on Monday! We’re going out for coffee and window shopping and I’m pretty excited because I haven’t seen her since the beginning of February of this year, and I’m excited to talk to her face to face (hah see what I did there ;))
I also did a little brainstorming for a story I’ve wanted to write since August of 2020, and I’m hoping it’s gonna help with my immense writers block concerning the idea itself lmfao
I was also wondering, but do you bake? I know it’s a pretty random question but a lot of my friends bake, and I’ve only ever baked once with one of said friends. We made chocolate muffins and, despite them being relatively messy, they actually tasted pretty good! I’m a bit sad we didn’t have chocolate chips though, I would’ve loved to take the famous(?) “you measure that shit with your heart” post as inspiration to make a mostly choc-chip choco muffin hehe.
Do you draw at all, either? I don’t draw much, and when I do I almost always draw exclusively doodles, but I’ve had a couple which came out pretty well. I drew this really tiny dragon a while ago (probably a few years back) which I thought came out pretty well hehet.
By the way, on a less random and softer note, I’ve been meaning to tell you but kept getting shy and insecure about how to say it, but I really appreciate you, you know? I know we don’t know each other super personally and everything, but our exchanges have been a consistent highlight to my everyday life since I’ve become your mutual.
Like, I can’t even begin to say how big of an impact you’ve had on me as a person just with a couple of our (admittedly short) interactions. Your posts brighten up my day, and I really love how full of love you are, and how you’re so unapologetically yourself. It’s really pushed me to become more comfortable in my own skin, which I couldn’t thank you enough for.
I know that probably went from zero (0) to one-hundred (100) real quick, lol, but I thought it was about time, you know? Sorry for putting something like this in an ask, I probably should’ve sent it in a PM but I thought, “I’m here, I might as well do it while I have the courage” 🥹
Anyway, sorry for all the blabbering xd.
I hope you have a wonderful day (or night, I’m not 100% what time of day you’re at rn)!
I hope this isn’t coming off as creepy as it’s starting to sound in my head 🥹 I admire you a lot is all; sorry if this makes you uncomfortable if it does lemme know pls. Okay bye ily 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
this is quite possibly the sweetest thing i anyone has told me in a very very very long time, and i am — OOF — misty in the damn eyeballs. like, i don’t even know how to thank you for that 😭🫠 i’m a whole mess omg. YOU ARE SO SPECIAL, LIL BABY HAN 😭💓💕💗🫶🏻
now i’m gonna stop wheezing and answer your actual questions and pretend i did not just fully tear up, lmao.
i do bake, but not as often as i used to? i kind of only do it when i’m home with my mom which is rare but will resume soon when i move back to my home state to be close again!! def prefer baking to cooking because there is some ridiculous disconnect in which i can do one fairly well but will burn the shit out of whatever meal i’m attempting and/or burn myself. i do not know why i am like this!!
i draw, but also not as often as i used to 🤪 like, i drew/designed all of my tattoos and used to be really into art, but my brain only lets me have 1-2 hobbies at a time, and this one fell by the wayside 🥲 rip art-phase jade.
and good luck with your wip!!! seriously, tag me in anything you post because i love FFF so much that i would surely love whatever else you write 💕🥹
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hi minnie <3 i’m doing alright! i just feel kind of tired lately especially with all my hw 🥺 school’s been going pretty good for me, but i have a math retest coming up (i got a 66 the first time 🙈) so i need to start studying for that 🤧
- oh i recently got my learning permit for driving so my dad has been taking me,, and i don’t know if it’s normal to be this nervous but i really hate it sm 😭 my dad kind of expects me to improve quickly and he also keeps pressuring me to go faster which really scares me 😣 yesterday my dad made me drive home, when i only have experience driving in the parking lot (i’ve only been behind the wheel around 6 times), and it was genuinely terrifying … i really hope i get better quickly so i don’t have to do lessons every week 🫠
- also my parents have recently started asking me what i want to pursue once i graduate and i’m honestly not sure at all, like everyone else i know seems to have everything figured out except me 🥺 and idk if it’s okay or not but my parents have been scolding me for it … it’s honestly been making me kind of feel less than or just not good enough sometimes. yesterday my parents scolded me a lot and as soon as i went to bed, i just started crying and cried for maybe around an hour. i honestly cry a lot but sometimes it makes me feel as if i’m too sensitive or if i’m just overreacting 😔 i’ve been getting rejected a lot from some of the things that i’ve applied too so i worry that i’m just not good enough compared to my peers and it’s honestly my biggest complex bc i feel like i might be putting myself too much 🙁 i honestly don’t know to explain but my mind just feels really like tense rn and it’s hard for me to feel happy about everything … i just hope that everything lightens up soon
- ahhh i’m so sorry for rambling so much, but i really enjoy talking to you minnie!! i also apologize for creating such a sad mood T_T i hope you don’t mind 🥺 you’re really just so sweet and your blog just feels very comforting to me 🫶 i appreciate you sm & ty minnie! - battinson anon 🦇🧛♀️
hii ik it's been a while since you send this in so I apologize for only getting to it now ☹️
I hope that math retest went well! pls lemme know how you did (if you feel comfortable sharing)
ahhh I relate to the fear of driving. it has only been half a year for me since I got my license and my fear is still there but only because I barely get to practice 🤧 but it does really get easier and I hope you're already seeing improvements! as for tips... I don't think I have any other than drive as much as you can because experience really is the key here. and try to stay calm when you're being scolded (I still have not mastered that point either) or your emotions will make you drive even worse 😭
and no, I don't think it's okay for your parents to get mad at you over smth like this. you are still learning and need guidance and patience and that is not achievable by shouting and negative energy.
I do tend to cry a lot too but you're not too sensitive or overreacting. you know why? because your feelings are valid. every person is different and no matter what their feelings are okay and totally normal. I get shouted at when I cry so it's hard sometimes to remember it but if that is your way of showing emotions and releasing stress and that is totally okay and you shouldn't be ashamed of that <3
I really don't mind this ask and I feel rather happy about you confiding in me so don't worry 🥰
and I promise to answer as soon as I can the next time 😵
hope you're having a great week 💗
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